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The dream scene had recently transition to a tropical forest, where these dirt bikers would ride against one another. I had been in 3rd person point of view watching the bikers leave long tire marks on the ground. I continue to do this in till I got hit out of 3rd person point of view to 1st person by one of the riders vehicle. I got knock pretty far and landed at the side of the dirt road.

I got up and I turn my head behind me to see if another rider would be approaching. The hit had allowed me to become lucid so I continue walking in till I see a rider get off their bike and jog pass me. I decided to attack the rider who was dress in all black with a black helmet. They didn't put a struggle at all and eventually turn in to what feels like paper. I flatten the rider on to the dirt road.

Once I've done this I could hear another rider approaching and what sounded to be a truck. This rider was wearing a white helmet and blue jumpsuit. I tackle the rider down but for reasons I cant remember I back off and continue walking forward. I began thinking about that trunk and when I turn head again to see what's behind me. I see a person running quickly toward me.

I look forward and could see the dream scene changing once again. The trees and sky were becoming a ceiling and the dirt road began to have tiles. My awareness was beginning to grow faint. I begin to run in till I realize I was in a store now. An old woman with a yellow shirt and green pants seem to have been staring at me. Her glasses reflected off the type of food section she was in.

After that I kept walking around passing a few people. I couldn't really find a way out in till I woke up. Lucidity Time: 1 minute

April 28, 2015

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I was back home, at my parents' house. Zukin was with me, visiting, or something. She may have lived there with me. It was a strange conglomeration of all the places I've lived, but it felt like home-home. I was in the basement, when I found a trap-door in the floor in the laundry room. I went down here and found a really interesting computer lab with state-of the art computers and private rooms and whatnot... I went upstairs to tell Zukin about it, and she followed me down the hole to the secret rooms. We were both so impressed and excited that we went back upstairs and got a bunch of junk food and pop to take back down with us. We spent hours playing Minecraft down there, in one of the private rooms. I was almost worried about bothering people by being here so long, but then remembered this was a secret room in my basement. There were no other people there!

We played for a long time, and then went upstairs for some air. Later, I went back to the trap door. I remember very clearly how I lowered myself through the small hole (it was small, just big enough for me to fit through) and hung from the ceiling a bit until I dropped myself to the floor in the first room. It was dank and dusty, but through a door were the computer rooms. I noticed another sort of hole through some rags, and explored this new area... to find a whole fucking store! It was an abandoned store, but all of the merchandise was still on the shelves, there was no dust, the lights were still on. It was rather beautiful. I explored this store and wondered if I could use all of the beautiful things in the store. It was an open, golden space. The lights were warm-colored, and the shelves were all about hip-height, the highest was at chest height, so I could see the whole store clearly. Things glittered and sparkled, it was so beautiful.

And then I found the old online orders. Or something. There was a binder with the records, and it said they were all online orders. They were packages that were supposed to have been sent out like 40 years ago. I sifted through them, opening some of them. I was worried at first about opening what wasn't mine, but these packages were so old... I thought about trying to find the people they were for.

I opened one of them, and it had a calendar/planner inside it. But like, it had already been used. It had belonged to a college students, and she had written so many notes and doodled all over all the pages. It was gorgeous and I had this huge sense of "omg HISTORY" rush through me. Each page had a little furry creature printed on it, and this woman had doodled the creatures doing things like catching pokemon and karate.

Also in this pile of never-sent-out packages was a pile of all the things I've ever lost. It was amazing. I found dresses I thought were long-gone, that I grew out of ages ago, and some many little things I'd lost over the years. I was so happy, and felt disappointed when I woke up because it was such a cool reality in that dream, and I missed it.

I'm really only posting this because I found it interesting.

I don't recall ever having a more gentle transition from waking to dreaming than what I experienced during my nap yesterday. I was drifting between fragments, constantly shifting, but not restless. I turned over and closed my eyes. In closing my eyes, a new scene became visible on the back of my eyelids. I knew at once I was staring at a wall, and that I was laying on a floor. My hold seemed tenuous like I was at risk of losing lucidity, but the dream was odd that way too. I had many lapses in which I found myself back in bed, and when I closed my eyes the dream reappeared in the same gentle way, but my dream self was confused and worried that I was 'blacking out again' and that if I was blacking out I wouldn't be able to hunt packs of fury when they raged through town. We called zombies Fury. O.o

I don't remember much, I remember quite a few lapses. I know the room I woke in had three fireplaces and there were many small indicators that would have allowed me to become lucid, but I never pursued them. Like, thinking that this house had two kitchens just like my grandparent's house when I was a kid. I realized that wasn't true and experienced a panicked moment of vertigo and a fading to the clarity of the dream, which my dream self took as the edge of a blackout, so I backed off. Or thinking that the man in the room with three fireplaces was my grandfather, and then wondering how he could be my grandfather since both of mine are dead.
And the fact that there were bears hanging out on the deck.

Anyway, many times when I began to lose focus and 'black out' someone would offer me their hand and it would ground me in the dream. I also remember a disturbing conversation with a childhood friend, who I shared the house with in which she points out that I've been suicidal for a while, and she noticed because when I would go out to hunt Fury, if I stepped into the pack I would look left, then look right, and then look right again. She explained that I did this so that if an attack came from the left, I would not be forced to defend myself and I could die.
"Would that be so terrible though? Maybe I shouldn't come back." I reply.


Sometimes, when I am in a dark mental space, my subconscious will save me from it by giving me a soothing dream. I have talked about them before. They instill in me a sense of well being, and even if they don't make me feel good, I no longer feel as bad as I did before I slept.
This one was lovely but very short.
I found myself running along a familiar road, like I was coming off the highway. It was crowded with trees. At the start of the bend, there is a guard rail and a sign marking the merging of the lanes from two on the left side, to one. So it will be a regular two-lane road. I'm confused when I see a car coming at me in the lane that should be going the other way. I jump off the road into the brush and it is only three quick hops before I take to the sky. I rarely have big lucid epiphanies they are subtle realizations. I will notice something is off, or I will look at the sky and think that I want to be there, and then I am.
Anyway. I take to the sky, which is a sweet, green-tinged blue. Many feet of the ground I find rain that is waiting to fall. There are hundreds of individual droplets. I rise, softly turning through the suspended rain. I can feel a cool breeze on my skin, easing the stitch from my brow, and the kiss of rain on my face and arms. I take a deep, slow breath. It's so beautiful here.

I would like to know why I have so many false awakenings. I've grown used to it but it seems...unusual.

Playing a game

I was in this empty living room with two girls I can recognize IWL. They had these bags of candy with them. One of the girls wanted to be kind and give me something (probably candy, but I can't be sure.) but I was mad and didn't accept it. I walked upstairs and said I'll go back down. So I did and when I went up to the girl again I took her away from her. The strange thing is that the bag was magnetically attached to her so there was this force trying to resist me taking it. It wasn't strong enough to completely stop me though. The girl then mentioned, while she was slightly angry with me, that if I go too far the bag of candy will instantly pop back to her. There was then this circular area outlined and I avoided stepping out of it. So I very carefully managed to get upstairs. Keep in mind that the whole time that magnetic-like force kept going on. I then felt very triumphant. The scene changed into this sort of save the princess like game. The setting was the same though, a house. The princess, who was that same girl from before, was out the porch and was being held captive by this lizard monster, in some ways similar to the lizalfos from the legend of zelda skyward sword. I tried to save her but instead the characters changed. I wasn't the person saving the princess anymore and the princess was a different person as well. As well as the monster, who was this snake like creature spewing corrosive substances out of his mouth. There was also much more people around, and they seemed to be filming but me, viewing the scene from a 3rd person perspective and not being visible, never really minded them and thought it was real. The creature spewed the acid and it landed on top of the princess. I was thinking "oh no! the princess is going to die!" but she never did even after the acid came up on top of her again. The savior then slayed the beast and they sat there on the porch interacting with each other in some way.

Support

I was on the wall with other people, one of them being a friend IWL. We just recently finished a game of league of legends and wanted to do another. My friend was telling me that he wanted to support this time, which is a role in the game, and I didn't mind. We then went on to play a game.