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im not a natural writer. i suck at grammar and write with weird wordings. so please, bear with me

so early this month, i started sleeping downstairs in the lounge area (house).
few days later i started to experience one of the most weirdest things ever since moving in

first time happened
i was on my left side facing the wall. looking down was the window which was pitch black, in fact the whole room was fairly dark with no lights coming in
i was suddenly, abruptly woke up. my eyes were wide open.

a grey-white looking ish, cloud-smoke-mist-like was floating just above my bed
in addition, there was a some sort of unfinished figure like how you'd draw something in what it looked like a face in the middle, but i couldnt made up what it was

just as how it appeared out of no where, it just vanished like how a cloud would disappear or move away

i had nightmares throughout the night (forgot to record..wish i had recorded) but i had an excellent long term lucid experience (again forgot to record wish i did...but it involved u know what "wink" "wink")

i wish i could claim i was awoke 100%. but i also cant tell if it was false awakening..definitely not SP...and definitely not a dream.....

chapter 2
i experienced another super super creepy paranormal ive ever had

i woke some time in the middle of a night. i started practicing WBTB.
i was on my left side again trying to relax my body. during this time, my mind was busy with daydreaming..

all of sudden, someone or something was tickling bottom of my right feet which is usually very sensitive. "huh that was weird."
then it did again on my possibly my calf or upper leg literally right on my skin*...now im a little creeped out

then it went to my waist

now i was genuinely pissed and annoyed as if someone like a kid was bothering me
"damn it ***ing stop that!" and i whipped my arm to my side to knock it off and now im on my back.

i realized something

i was fully clothed with bed sheets on me tightly...."W...T...F!?!?"
How the hell osmething could scratch my skin without going through the sheet and my clothes?!
i was completely baffled

chapter 3
this is pretty much a sure thing false awakening/semi-lucid dream
when i woke up i was pretty sure i sensed something really really weird
the door was wide open which it shouldve been closed
the room was dark
'okay this is getting weird," i said nervously
i looked down to my feet for some reason.
all of sudden..
WHAM someone literally vigorously grabbed both of my foot and started pulling me down to the bed like how you'd see in the movies like "the conjuring"
it pushed me hard to the left and right and sometimes in circles
i wasnt really scared or anything at the time. i was too busy trying to just hold/grab onto something but i couldnt
then this figure, red big muscle demon-like thing literally just like the one in South Park came into the scene and said, "this will not be the last. more to come!" (something along those lines) and i told him "shut up and let me cuddle you." (i thought this was really weird when i remembered that)
i woke up and thought holy shit wtf was that
sometime later, i looked myself into the mirror.i looked exactly like me in real life except few more details
there was thsi weird mark on my forehead hard to explain
under my right eye lid, thought part of my skin was burnt in a fire or something. it was black and really itchy with burning sensation
the family and i were eating on a table and told them i need to go see a doctor
and THEN i woke up.....

Early frag
Playing cards at a bunch of different places.

Sister
Me and my sister are playing a very basic video game. We are discovering most of the map and keep opening the main menu and looking at the map. It is completely filled in. We are pretty excited, we stop at a bar in the game. It looks a lot like the animal crossing cartoonish. We talk to someone and get and start a quest. Still pretty early and I didn't write down enough details.

Basketball
I am outside my parents playing ball. There are tables all around the court and we are all tripping over them like crazy. Three tables and I jumped up for a dunk. I float for about 5 seconds and am extremely confused by it. Someone else jumps on me and I land. I try to think of why this happened and am looking for a way to do this again.

Animated Skype
I am playing a Skype game with my wife and her younger brother. The game is actually me and my wife on one side and her brother on the other. Using gestures and things (from Kinect) we break the other persons system. First person to break the others system wins. The other system would be disabled for 24 hours and you would get a temporary boost. We play with her brother first, and he is wearing a black fighting suit and the whole thing is animated for some reason. The next game is versus two people. Also animated. Wearing strange clothes. You seem to be able to pick your clothes in this game somehow.

XBOX
My wife and I are sitting around the house watching some TV. My wife wants to know when I am buying XBOX one. I am a little confused because I am saving for a PS4. She then wants me to go out and get a movie. I ask her witch one and she says "the new Hayao Miyazaki live action movie" A picture of it pops in my head. It looks a lot like the live action Rurouni Kenshin movie. I am a little confused because Hayao wouldn't be able to put his soul into a live action film like that. I head outside and I am in my old apartment complex. I look for a Redbox for a long time.

Confusing Hiding
I am watching a movie and it is all about different ways to hide. The movie shows a lot of different ways to hide in plain sight. It is really confusing because they aren't hiding or hidden in the show. They are literally in plain view being bumped into, but ignored for some reason. One girl is laying on the floor in a hallway and keeps getting walked on, but still ignored somehow. I am in the movie and I realize that this isn't real, but I don't know what it is. I start thinking about the previous dreams and I realize that I had a lucid some time during the night. I put it all together in my head and then I woke up. I then forgot it. :/

I had a very disturbing dream where I was going to be killed at the end of the day. I was at home with friends and family, and everyone just accepted that fact. No one was trying to figure out how to stop it. And to make it worse, I was going to be beheaded.

I worried about how long it would take me to die after the ax hit my neck. I wondered who would miss me when I was dead. I wondered which of my dead relatives would meet me after I left my body.

I remember wandering into my bedroom ( I was a teenager and living at home in this dream). I wondered if I should clean everything out now so no one would have to do it for me later. But I decided I shouldn't have to worry about that. I had enough to worry about.

At one point I went into the kitchen and saw a chocolate cake in the cupboard. I didn't know whose it was, but I decided that I could get away with eating some of it. No one would be able to get mad at me later. I would be dead. And I no longer had to worry about trying to eat healthy. I was going to die tonight anyway.

I started to feel sorry for myself. And a little angry. Why didn't anyone care about what was going to happen to me? I was in a room with my mom. We were looking at a magazine or something and I saw something that looked interesting. I said to my mom, "Hey, I want that for my birthday". I knew I was going to be dead, but I wanted to see what her response was. She said, "Sure, if that's what you want we can...." and her voice trailed off as she realized I wouldn't be around for my birthday. She seemed sad, but resigned to the fact that I was going to die. I felt a little bad I did that to my mom. I'm sure this couldn't be easy on her either. But I walked off without saying anything else to her.

I don't really remember any more specific details, but this dream seemed to last all day. I felt my tension grow as the day progressed. I was alone for most of the dream.

I'm sure this dreams represents some real feelings deep inside. Although, in real life I have a very caring and loving family that would never have acted like this, so this must represent something deeper. I'll have to think about it.

I was too tired to get up and write down the dreams I had this morning.

I know that I did have 2, but I currently can't remember what they were.

It's better to write something here than nothing... and maybe I'll remember them later.

A house

I fall awake into a suburban house. It is dark and unfamiliar. I wander the rooms a bit. I don't find anyone but I do sense there is an intruder in the house. Searching a bit more, I come upon a man who immediately bolts out a side door. I follow him, chasing him away. The door opens to a side yard where it is night outside. I suppose things are starting to look like the Daisetta house. The intruder has stumbled into the street which is to my right. He is, I don't know, some dude. He wears jeans and a blue-and-white plaid shirt.

I gather my bearings a bit. Now looking toward the street I find the Moon to my right, so I must be facing North. The scene is lit by a lone street lamp, but trees scatter the light. The man in the street is now taunting me. I charge out to confront him. As I do about three more guys appear and surround me. I am ready to defend myself. More guys appear, maybe a dozen now. They start to close in and we exchange shoves.

I start to think this is a little pointless. They are just returning my growing aggression and that's why more of them are appearing. I think better of it and chose to rise above, literally, flying straight up. When I reach some altitude, I assume a meditation posture and allow the aggression to work itself out.

A cityscape

As I fly and meditate, I still sense I am moving from the dancing light through my eyelids. I seem to be heading East while spinning like a top, but not very fast. I am quite calm now. The light is growing stronger. I open my eyes. The sun is rising.

I look down and see a futuristic city below me. I allow myself to fall to get a better look. I aim for the tallest building and stop to hover near the top floor. About three floors below the very top, there is a terrace surround by glass, so I lower to it and look inside. There I can see about half the floor area occupied by one large reception room. The rest of the area has no glass, just accessible from a door. In front of that door is a reception desk, where sits a girl of about 25 years with bright blue hair.

She is all alone in this room. Her blue hair is what stands out most against a background of white walls, glass, and the orange dawn sunlight. She has an elbow on the desk and her head propped lazily on her hand, in a sort of Penseur's pose. She stares motionless and forlorn out the window, but not in my direction so she doesn't notice me. It's a curious scene if not very dynamic. Is she bored? Is she lonely? Am I bored? Am I lonely? Should I talk to her? I decide to leave her be. There's something about the stillness that I'd rather not disrupt.

I look down. I am still about 100 floors up. I allow myself to fall further, which is quite exhilarating here between the tall buildings. The glinting windows rush faster and faster past me while the ground below starts to look big in a hurry. The thrill is a bit too intense and I wake.

A house

I chain back into the house. I scan the rooms again; this time I know the layout. The last room before the side door is a laundry room. Here I find my sister collecting a pile of clothes. I don't engage her. I'm not in the mood for that.

I continue toward the door. What to do? Who was that girl? My thoughts remain on the previous segment, so I summon her as I pass through the door and look toward the street. There she is in her blue-haired splendor. She is navigating through the little gate that cordons the yard. Her hands are full with a purse in one hand and bag of what looks like leftovers in the other.

"Hey, come here." I invite her to where I am standing, about 20 paces from where she is. The scene is still lit by that one street lamp which is mostly blocked by trees but where I am standing is the only spot in full light, so I want to get a better look at her. I notice the area a bit more. I am standing on a slab of concrete that reflects the light better and there is a round wooden picnic table just to my left.

I see her a bit better as she enters the light. Her hair is indeed blue. Her lipstick is blue. Over her right eye, she has a tattoo of decorative blue and purple lines intertwined and framing her face. She wears just a blue bikini top and blue jeans. Her bare midriff reveals a tiny bit of definition in her abs.

I gesture toward the table as if we might sit and eat. She walks slowly as if exhausted after a long day, but she is cheerful.

"Aww, thanks baby. But I could not eat. I am SO full. I had the most AMAZING dinner. I had, like, TEN minions --."

Did she say minions or mignons? No matter. She's definitely quirky, which I normally don't like but at least she's not that insecure, neurotic kind of quirky. She seems fearless, comfortable in her own skin. So, I like her as a first impression. Maybe a bit bratty and loud, but what should I expect from a twentysomething.

I cut her off. "I want to hear all about it. But first, give me a kiss." She's still a few paces away. She smiles and bobs her arms to show they are still full with her bags. I take her to mean My hands are full, so if you want a kiss, come get it honey.

I walk to her and put my hands around her waist. She is shorter than I, so she looks up at me and her face catches more of the light. Her skin is tan and youthful. Her eyes are big and wide, but interesting they are brown rather than blue. They glisten in the incandescent light and she gazes back at me with an open trusting look of a puppy. I pull her waist in close and kiss her firmly on the lips. We hold for a few seconds of bliss. No surprise, the dream fades.

The Void

I re-enter once more, this time falling awake into The Void. The Void is an empty black space that I fall into when I have no scene in mind. Sometimes there are twinkling stars. It might sound ominous but it's actually quiet pleasant, like a sensory deprivation chamber. I can hover, but more often I allow myself to fall because it creates a pleasant breeze against my back.

The previous segment was fun. But didn't I have a plan tonight? Oh right, The Players. Or Quixote. Or Lenny. Hmm, not really a plan. More like a plan for plan. I suppose there probably isn't enough time for any of that so I chose to stay in The Void. I rub my hands together to gain a little feeling and then look at them. They are distorted. I fold my hands, assume my meditation posture, and empty my mind. And then for a short while, a different kind of bliss.

Morning of September 10, 2015. Thursday.



Last updated Sunday, 27 September 2015: I added a rough map with textual corrections, as past online versions of this entry did not describe the correct directional orientation. I offer my apologies and I thank you for your interest in my extensive and meticulous dream work.

The outdoor setting in my dream is of a fictional layout (though with known familiar features in the wrong place), and yet, it is somehow the “same” area I supposedly lived on King Street in the 1980s. The King Street boarding house, rather than being on the corner, is moved in my dream about one large lot westerly from the corner. This alteration, to my knowledge, has never occurred as such in any dream. That is, to my knowledge (and extensive dream records), I have never dreamt about (or ever imagined while awake as far as I recall) the King Street boarding house being anywhere but on a corner of an intersection (and usually in the correct location except for a few dreams where it seemed more westward relative to the rest of La Crosse).

I am with Leonard S, the Polish pinhead (and unlike Schlitzie, who was also male, Leonard always dressed in men’s clothing). Usually when he appears in a dream (at least over the past twenty years), it is an ordinary conversation or experience somewhat enhanced with a cheerful mood. This time, I am reminiscing over when I first met him, though there does not seem to be a back story regarding my implied age as he himself looks as he did around 1980, perhaps even a few years younger (possibly looking as he did before I met him in real life). However, the “memory” is entirely fictional. I talk to him about when I supposedly found a toy soldier buried in the ground in the empty lot to the left of the boarding house when looking southward (and as already stated, this layout did not exist in reality), near the southwest corner of the lot, just before I met him. I apparently soon gave it “back” to him (assuming he had lost it, though perhaps he deliberately buried it - this is not certain). He does not seem confused or annoyed over this faux memory and my telling of it. Most of what I relate seems fairly “realistic” until I wake.

I visualize the empty lot, which seems to be at night. Much of the front of the boarding house itself looks similar otherwise. In the majority of dreams concerning Leonard, he often seemed of near-average intelligence. In real life, though, he would do a lot of unusual things, such as, upon seeing a girl, shout “Puddytat! Foooooos!” and would paw the air. Still, he was friendlier, more outgoing, and more generous than a lot of normal people.

I was in a late friend at high school's house. We were playing DnD and some other games. There was a person there who called me gay for thinking about him in a sexual matter.

+ I'm looking over my bicycle: there are some clumps of poop on it, one is one the wheel. I look again and I don't see it, I think that means I leaned over the wheel and it got on to my shirt, I look down and yup it did. I put the bike in the bathtub under the running water. There is a (weird piece) of the bike also covered in poop so I put this under the water and wash it clean. It's a shiny metallic part [unrecognizeable as part of a bike].

I'm thinking if I should wax the bike. I'm now looking at 4 parallel metal beams on it. I wonder if people would laugh if I did wax it and it got "too shiny."

+(frag, or short dream?) There are two bottles of high powered booster fuel in small bottles with little tubes coming out the top. You can pour this into your motorcycle and it would go really fast for a while thereafter

+(i, impression, not even a clear fragment) on the freeway?

+ it's after normal restaurant working hours and I'm heading to McDonald's for some fast food (burger, nuggets). Apparently a lot of other people have the same idea as they appear in front of me as I'm walking, they'll get there first. After hours, I think McD's only take huge orders, like $50 minimum, or 100-200 hamburgers at a time. I wonder if they'll accept my small order. It turns out they do. I think that what they do is they serve your single burger from the large bulk orders, then replace the burgers in the bulk order.

Standing (behind the counter?) with (McD employees?).

Spoiler for sexual situation:

A fairly overweight woman bends over forwards and "backs it up" (we're both fully clothed) into my crotch. She is really grinding her butt into me and gyrating her hips in an amazing way. She's fairly porky and I don't consider her attractive but she is doing such an amazing job than I find my self looking down and imagining doing it doggy-style with her and getting hard. Another McD girl employee joins her at one point?

I'm standing with a guy and a girl (whom he likes?) outside. I tell him that he should play in a band, "because chicks dig guys who play in bands. I used to play in a band, too."

In line for more McD's. It's inside the building that is covered with a clear tarp. There is construction/remodelling work going on there and they only let a few people in at a time. I look up and see several workmen on the edge of the 2nd floor of a parking garage laying layers of wet cement on the vertical surface of the edge of the garage floor. One guy is smoothing it out with a trowel. The edge of the floor is about 1 meter tall and is colored a vivid blue.

It's my turn, a woman directs me inside and tells me to "go upstairs." I go in and it's a confusing collection of stairways and corridors. She points me in the right direction and I go up. I get to a place where there are some more stairways in front of me but they're all too narrow for a person to walk through. It's like I'm standing underneath bleachers that extend above me. Out in front of the bleachers above me there is a show or a concert going on. There's a woman sitting up on the bleachers with a big head which is "in the way." A man says something like "too bad about her head being in the way, or you could climb up there."

+ walking outside sort of "back stage" to the main building who's front entrance is on the other side. I'm walking on my university campus (apparently) and the computer science department is referred to as "K5". I meet a friend from my class and ask if he took the advanced AI class in his first year (I thought he did). He tells me no, that instead he took "architectural modeling" and it was a really tough class.

This dream is so sexual as to be pornographic. I offer fair warning but no apology.

A night club

I fall awake outside a night club. I gather that it is night, but I don't take the time to orient myself with the moon or other landmarks as I usually do. From the outside, the joint is intentionally nondescript. Just a discreet building with an unmarked entrance. A red glow emits from the entrance, but that's all.

I walk in eagerly. I scan the room. It is mostly dark with small columns of dim light that barely reveal the black and red furniture. It is crowded and noisy, but all just a blur. I am only interested in one person in particular.

And then she appears: The Goddess. She is suddenly lit brightly by a spotlight. The rest of the scene recedes into to the black periphery. The Goddess may take any form, but today she is the more usual persona that I associate with her, which is a sort of Marilyn Monroe/Jessica Rabbit archetype. She wears a brilliant red sequin dress that glitters in the spotlight. The neckline plunges between her cleavage and all the way below her navel. The skirt is short, about mid thigh. Her hair is blonde and short, teased out to a wavy volume that perfectly complements her hourglass shape. Her lips are bright red. Her eyes, tastefully not overdone.

She rises from a couch and saunters in my direction. I know she's coming toward me, but she remains supremely aloof to begin. This is The Goddess's appeal. She exudes an effortless feminine perfection. Her hips sway and finally, our eyes meet, but she barely reacts. Her Mona Lisa smile spreads just a little. It is as if she sees through me, or sees something deeper within me. Her look, her movement, her attitude -- she is bewitching me.

She nears. "Hi Naughty Boy." Today, her voice is high but not quite squeaky. She stops an inch further than I'd wish her to. She leans in as if to kiss me but stops and only our noses touch. Her smile spreads more. She is well aware of her flirtatious, almost cruel tease and delights in it. Her hands find my chest. She adjusts a button on my shirt and straightens my collar. It is her way of getting playfully close, but not yet sexual.

Our flirtation usually starts with me saying "You look familiar." But I can't speak. The oxygen has left the room. I don't have to say it. She reads in on my face and emits a giggle. She draws a long breath and exhales with a content cooing sigh. She slowly twirls, revealing the back of her dress and her perfectly curvaceous form. The dress is mostly backless. Her hair is long and brown now, again magically complementing the seductive lines of her spine and silhouette. She adjusts her skirt a little, drawing my attention down to her hips. I can only stare.

She turns her face back to me. Her eye makeup is darker now, more obviously seductive. Her mouth now shaped in a coquettish come-hither pout. "Was this what you wanted?"

I have no words. I move closer as she leans back and releases her weight into me with another cooing sigh. The feeling of her body against mine is intoxicating. There's something profound about it. It's like she trusts me and so I feel a great obligation to honor her trust. She is The Goddess and I am a mere mortal. I don't know what she sees in me. But I do very much enjoy our flirtations so I do my best to please her.

I am operating only on instinct now. One hand reaches for her breast; the other to her inner thigh. What little was left of the night club scene is now gone. It's just me and her. I hear her moan in pleasure and that's probably the last sound I can detect. The feeling of her buttocks in my lap makes it impossible not to thrust. Our clothing disappears and now I'm inside her, filling as much of the volume of her whole body as I can. My vision flickers as I imagine how we look from all angles. I don't see her face, but I hope it is an expression of pure bliss.

My other senses fade as intense pleasure radiates from my groin to fill my entire perception. I try to bring some attention back to my hands, and it is as if I am caressing every curve of her body all at once. Then back to the impossibly long strokes as I grow larger and larger inside her and she squeezes tighter around me. The friction, the pressure, the heat -- it is indescribable. I unload like a hose inside her and I feel her whole body spasm with satisfaction. We hold this for a long, perfect moment. I pull out, still gushing. For a moment now we aren't touching and that's profound in a way too. The sensation of not touching gives contrast to the touching, giving vividness to the memory of the moment that just passed.

Now, The Goddess is more presence than form. I sense her giggle again, without sound or motion. Yes, that was what I wanted.