Recent DJ Posts

Some people have messaged me and/or left comments asking "Who is Jamie?" I understand my journal entries must seem like the ravings of a madman, I can assure you, I consider it a possibility every single day. Jamie is someone I use to work with in 2011, We were friends (the vocal pretext we had both agreed upon- the subtext however... slightly different story). Long complicated story I'm not going into. to the layman, (Someone who is completely atheist and is a scoffer at anything spiritual, or having anything like a god in the universe, supernatural, paranormal. etc) I suffer from a bizarre form of Limerence, and "Spiritual psychosis", and Jamie is the Idealized object of this. In more spiritual terms it is also known as "Twin Flame," or "Alien Love bite", Neither term I agree with, however I have read experiences from many people that I can relate to ( I watched a long youtube of a panel of people from the ALB community and listened to a couple explain how they were having mutual or shared dreams). Scoffers will scoff, fine. I define it simply as: Seemingly paranormal facilitation and interference in human relationships. There's also a psychosis in the mix as well, BPD, Both of us have levels of such a disorder. In my case I love bomb someone who shows interest in me and when I feel they are going to abandon me, I promptly dump them or cut them out of my life, and then horrifyingly try to "Win them back,". I was not even aware of this "Cycle," until I met Jamie and analyzed our friendship years later, and reading what BPD is.

Years after, the "Discarding" of one another. I began experiencing paranormal events all over again. Seeing annoying "Angel signs," regarding her. As well as a sudden influx of dreams about her. I have a long history on this forum being able to share dreams with people. And i Still experience this to this day, the sharing of dreams. I began to wonder if it was a possibility, that we were somehow reaching one another in dreams. Such phenomena increased with such intensity (and things jamie was doing and saying in dreams) It became such a great concern to me that I was compelled to send her a handful of messages over a period of a few months. I told her from as many angles as I could what stuff I was experiencing. Just being open and relaying messages that I had learned. After the first message, In the dreams of her, she began to first act repulsed by me in the dreams and then began to be more okay with it. And after my last long explanatory message the dream her seemed fine. I did relay in my message that this dream journal exists, and that she can read it. These dream journals have a subscribe button, (I don't get notified of subscribers) and such people get an email every time I post an entry. It's likely I gave her a link to my dream journal when we were friends in 2011, and she has been subscribed since then. Or a few years ago she did. I'm not going to speculate. But it definitely seems like she reads my dream journal and then in later dreams she will react to what I dreamed about. She has never messaged me back however, But did mark my message as, "Read." sometimes she would leave a message, "Unread" So I take it as a sign of minimal respect for my efforts. In the end she has a disorder, where various people are discarded, and most of those people will never be in touch again. so no, I am not expecting a message back, or for her to be friends again. We both have some severe emotional problems that would probably end in complete disaster, or worse, all over again, if not handled EXTREMELY carefully.

Unfortunately, I have had to move back to the area where I met her. and it's possible I may have run into her when I first arrived here, at a convenience store. The person, had to turn around and leave the store, after their purchase and I was standing in. She didn't look me in the eye at all, seemed slightly aware that it was me. but looked really pissed or at least annoyed that I was there. I was not surprised at this reaction at all, I even expected it, given what I know about the disorder. and then a few times over a few months. she had driven by me at least once or twice and was stealing glances at me. No, I don't imagine she is stalking me. This IS a series of small towns where you are bound to run into anyone you ever known in this area at any given day.

This journal then is for Jamie to read as she sees fit. As long as I dream about her, I will keep posting entries.

Dreams

1. Jamie, is tied to a wall in a hotel room... she is naked. and some guy is standing near her. He had glasses, hair poorly bleached with brown hair at the part.

that's all I remember. I wake up and The voice says,, "Why was I naked?"

2. I dream my dog is getting really angry at me because I am playing with a cat. His mouth looked really strange and scary.

3. I was in bed with someone, But it was this other girl, from Wal-mart. She is pregnant I start kissing her and she kisses me back. A strange thought of doubt runs through my head.

I wake up. and fall back asleep.

Note: it seems the past few weeks, I have been unable to meet Jamie in the dreams lately just have dreams about her. We both seem to have been dreaming about people who are "Distractions". The goal: to prevent us dreaming the same dream. I will pray and/or meditate on this.

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Notable day supplements: No caffeine

I didn't put very much effort into recalling my dreams last night, I guess I've gotten used to them coming to me fairly easily and thought I wouldn't have to try as hard. Turns out effort is still required, I didn't recall that much.



Dream 1 - Fragment

In my dream, I wake up in bed (different than my IWL bedroom). I feel kind of odd so I glance at my watch and see that my heart rate is fluctuating between 5 and 10 bpm. I'm alarmed but I try to really freak myself out to get my adrenaline going, which works and my heart rate goes up to normal.*



Dream 2 - Fragment

I'm flying FPV, but instead of flying the drone I have it's sort of a hybrid between two different models. I like its power balance and agility, I think I'm flying over the ocean at one point.



Dream 3 - Fragment

I'm with two girls and we need to drive somewhere fast, but we won't make it in time. They say that we should try flying. I say 'Wait, we can fly here?' and one of them says 'Yeah, but it's really difficult. You just have to 100% believe that you can fly'. One of the girls can slightly hover, but the other one and myself are struggling.



* This dream was triggered by a reddit post I read just a few days ago where someone's heart rate dropped down to 10bpm.

Sneaky Crabs:
I'm at a party at somebody's apartment, sitting at a desk with a laptop in front of me.
My coworker J from the lab is here. I noticed that I'm not wearing pants and feel nervous.
...
I'm at my second Arizona apartment, and there is a group crowded around the TV playing a game.
I watch the screen for a bit. It is a dark area, with tiny crab monsters all around.
The player needs to navigate a dark pathway forward while avoiding the crabs.
I brag that it looks easy. Somebody calls my bluff and hands me a strange controller.

Fragment:
Something about my coworker G.

Fragment:
A nightmare about shitting my pants.