Jamie is still hard to find in dreams. Things keep interfering. Jamie 1 Long dream. But all I remember is taking a bus. I was going to the transfer station to catch a connecting bus. Suddenly instead of a bus, I was in a car... And my mother was driving. She drove right past the bus stop where I was supposed to catch the other bus. I told her to let me off but she wouldn't. I asked again. Still wouldn't let me off. My mother is a recovering schizophrenic so I thought maybe she was off her meds. I started yelling and insisting that she let me off. We were in a school zone now and we were slowing down for children. I started yelling that she stopped her meds. The car stopped. Instead of my mother it was Jamie driving. She looked at me really upset. Really annoying I keep seeing Jamie as someone else... Jamie 2 3rd person. I saw Jamie lying in bed. Some spider like creature was on her ceiling. Woke up and made a comment about it to the voice. Her voice said, " How do you know what I dream about?" I answered that I dreamed it. Jamie 3 We were in a stadium at some game. We were making out. Annoying I was at a house with some people. Someone kept trying to get me to drink beer. I didn't want any. The guy kept insisting, and I kept refusing until I was yelling. That dream shaman guy started yelling at me too. What A flash of a dream where Jamie was at an orgy. I saw some stuff.... Maybe that dream shaman guy interfering again? Wtf A dream where Jamie was dressing up in some lingerie. But she looked like a man. She was also in a garage talking to someone, asking if I might like the outfit. Last night Um I was with some dark guy in a city. He was showing me to some secret hiding place. We had to walk down a long sidewalk to get the. It was this warehouse place under a bridge. Once there he pulled down his pants and started pole dancing. 8 was like, " yo look buddy, I think you have the wrong idea about me." And he was like: I guess I read the situation wrong. And I'm like, "I don't know what I did to make you think... How do I get out of here?" He pointed down a ways and I left. What's with all the Gay themed dreams? I want my Jamie back dammit. Semi lucid I was in an abandoned house. became vaguely lucid. I was watching a bed. I tried to manifest Jamie in it. A shape appeared under the covers. I pulled them off but no one was there. Memory fades after. Kind of frustrating. Voice at night and mornings is great. She keeps saying it's the best relationship she's ever been in and she doesn't see me in person. I hope that changes someday. It is for me to.
Virtually no dreams for two nights. Last night: Jamie 1 A dream Jamie was in picture butte, the town I was living in for a couple years until mid summer of last year. She was checking out the town. That town has a really good Dutch bakery. I had a Jamie look a like sighting in that town. I was getting coffee one morning at a gas station. Someone with her look was standing by a sink. Kind of stared at me and smiled. I just ignored it. Outside was a white SUV tho. Looked nice and expensive like a range Rover. Jamie 2 A dream I found a note from Jamie. It said something about how she keeps running into really attractive people but she is deciding to stay the course with me. Yeah, I get little crushes here and there too. I'm not an aggressive guy at all so nothing comes of it. I just get bored and it goes away. The few times I've tried to be aggressive, I get so emotionally unstable to the point where I can't sleep. I hardly ever respond to flirting anyway. I've dealt with so many false flirting from people getting a kick out of shutting me down. Most people aren't worth responding to at all. I'm so dense anyway. When I was younger in high school. Some girl who already had a boyfriend. Invited me to help her babysit. After the kids went to sleep she cuddled up to me. I thought, "this is nice." And just enjoyed it. After a minute she said I was weird and slept somewhere else... I didn't clue in until years later. The few women I have been physical with had to literally tell me," Okay, you can kiss me now... Put your hand here." I often wonder if Jamie was trying to prompt me to make a move on her. I'm just dense and didn't pick it up. Can't expect a guy who never was a player to know all the player moves. Her voice sometimes asks why was I ignoring her at certain times. Well I wasn't. If she wasn't talking to me I didn't talk to her. And if I did try to talk her, she would get mad and shut me down. Once in response to her voice asking this I responded, " well, think back. At what times did we have good conversations and things went well, what was the most consistent thing?" And she answered, " When I talked to you." Woah, why am I ranting? Annoying A dream that dream shaman guy that use to live here was visiting me. I wish the guy would get a clue and stay out. Hug I dreamed of seeing Charlotte, my cousin's daughter outside a house. She seemed quiet until I offered her a hug, as an apology for not being able to visit. She readily accepted the hug.
A few fragments from the previous nights. Was talking to the Jamie voice in the middle of the night. Many in the Twin Flame community report hearing their partner's voice in their head. As well as experiencing their presence while going to bed. For me it's like experiencing physical sensations with a phantom body (hugs, kisses etc.). I think her voice wanted confirmation of this. Specifically we both mentioned that we both felt safe during this nightly experience. Also I fall into HH or micro dreams which usually reflect the experience. Jamie 1 A dream where Jamie was in her house. My vision zoomed out and her house was in a toy box or something. Jamie 2 We seemed to be getting married in this dream. Jamie confirmed her vows and then it was my turn. I began stumbling my vows and finding it hard to speak. Someone started yelling at me for this. Jamie 3 Brief sex related dream. Last night: Jamie 4 HH during talking to her voice. I was seeing a hallway in n a hospital filled with equipment. I heard Jamie's voice say, "I love it when you kiss me down the hall." I woke up and asked her voice what she meant. Her voice said, " it was my dream, it made sense at the time." Jamie 5 Jamie was in a rage or something. Not sure what about. I grabbed her in a hug to calm her down. She struggled and maybe swore at me, but I held on. She stopped and I just let her cry. I woke up and her voice said, " Thank you for calming me down." Annoying. I was working in a strange place as a chef. I was in a bathroom and saw something gross in a toilet... Whoever had left it there, was dying from colon cancer. There was blood all over the floor. I left and passed by a door leading to a room where someone older men were sitting. One man was dying and bleeding... Maybe the cancer guy. Went to the kitchen. But didn't know what to make. An older east Indian woman was trying to get with me while I was working. Kept force hugging me after I told her to stop. Went back to the room with the men saying I was going to quit because of that woman. I came there for work and nothing else.
Jamie seems missing, some nights. Haunted I was with 2 blond women (Asuka and Jamie?). We were dared to spend the night at a haunted house. I went in a room by myself, but the haunted vibes were so strong, I felt dizzy. Decided to leave and left. Can't remember what I did. Maybe some errands and went back. The women were still there. Jamie I was walking along a dirt road. A horse and driver pulling a wooden trailer passed by. The trailer was filled with random stuff. Jamie was sitting in the trailer. She opened her legs and flashed me her lower goods. "U want this?" She asked grinning. Yeah sure, she knows where I live. Come snag me one evening nd let's get it over with already. What? I'm in bed, but I'm in a glass lab. Doctors or scientists are studying me sleep for some reason? And Jamie is with them. High I'm with my brother at some bar or social event. In this dream were in Edmonton. There was 2 big malls or something. I remember going between them a few times and roaming. But we wound up at some restaurant or something. But it was also a friend's house? Some blond lady offered us a drink with psychedelic drugs in it or something. I was like no. She handed me. Glass with one sip in it. It looked orange. She said it was a microdose. I took it without thinking. I walked outside and was near a park with a hill. A purple bear was climbing a hill. At the top of the hill was a garbage can. A giant tentacle with spikes on it came from the top of the garbage can and grabbed the bear and somehow at it. I turned around end every thing had psychedelic hues. Very colorful people and creatures were walking around that were phasing in and out of existence. I walked back to where my brother was and told him I am going to go find a place to pass out. I said I keep seeing people that aren't there. I wonder if the woman was Jamie? She was into psychedelics when we were friends. I would like to re iterate that I will never touch hard drugs or psychedelics ever again. I'm pretty sure I had an unbearable panic disorder because of them. Even weed gives me panic. The odd beer use to relax me, now it gives me chest pains the next day. Last time was so bad I checked myself into emergency. Jamie 2 I'm not in the dream. I see Jamie by herself in a restaurant or bar. She's closing the store. She finishes and finds some stairs and goes up them and goes through a door. She walks in. My vision zooms out and now she's in her farm house at the top. Is this how she teleports in dreams. I miss the dreams where we were together a lot. And holding hands.
Jamie 1 Just a flash of sitting with her in a movie theater. Jamie 2 Just a vague dream of being in her house with her mother or something. Recall has been really bad these past few days. Just dreaming about random scenarios that I really don't care about. Threat I'm in some community hall or something. Some East Indian guy goes up to me in the lobby and touches my chest. He says, "I'm going to kill you." And walks away. I say to other people in the crowded lobby. " Did you hear that?" As if I expect them to do something. They all last me like they don't get involved? Maybe it's a guy who has a crush on Jamie? Weird I was in my old town in BC . I was looking for my girlfriend but she was blond in the dream. Wound up in some store with two blond women who were trying to sell me stolen blankets or something. They were going to frame me for theft if I didn't pay for them. So I pulled out a knife and cut one the blankets to shreds. Both girls left and the store owner and some staff were questioning me about the thieves. They started talking about cameras in the store. I realized they would see me on camera destroying one of the blankets. So, I left as well.
Okay, still working on not splitting on the past. More actively praying on it. Last thing I wanna do is have Jamie come back into my life, and on a bad day, drag her through the mud of the past. That could be abusive. So, I am working hard on it. We're dealing with years of looking at her one way. This is NOT easy at all. I'm like: la dee da, today at work, but later on - I'm thinking about the past again. Imaging myself in those situations again, and playing out being more stern with her and this and that. Her voice had to tell me to stop it because she apparently senses when I do this. I apologize of course. It's just where my mind goes sometimes, it's really hard to control. But I am actively trying to work on it. Dreams: Quickly binge watched "Wanda Vision". I honestly don't care for MCU stuff. It's pretty much what I watch when nothing else is on the streaming services that I like. But, I found this series a lot of fun. Hard to understand without the context of the movies tho. Dreams seemed related to what I was watching. Jamie 1 I'm in Wanda Vision. I'm looking down the street. It's black and white like the first two episodes. I look down the street and see Jamie down the street, looking like she in the 50's. She just walks out of a house and looks inside the mailbox. Dream fades. Jamie 2 In Wanda Vision again. Black and white still. It's raining. I'm trying to help a guy stuck under a manhole or something. Jamie flies down wearing a super hero outfit. Spandex and everything. She says, "Hi, I'm Captain Booty Cheeks, would you like some ASS-istance?" She's grinning as she says this. The shock of this wakes me up. Girl would have made a killing as a 90's porn director. For real. Also, Real Jamie reading my sex dream entries of her be like : 👁️👄👁️ Must be really embarASSing for her to read. You, think that's bad, you should hear what her voice does with practically every song that gets stuck in my head. I will never hear REO Speedwagon the same... She did do the Chick-fil-A sauce, stuff in my dreams months ago because it was stuck in my head, Right? Right? Jamie 3 Longer dream I can't remember much of the beginning. I was walking downtown in some generic city. Wound up at a bar apparently with some karaoke. Someone hands me a microphone but with no music track. I try to sing something but it doesn't sound good. Some Asian girl ( Jamie, but I keep seeing her wrong in dreams for some reason.) sits down on my lap. But more right on where my D is. I finish.... The song. And we both go by the bar. Jamie is saying something but her voice is so quiet. I lean closer to hear but all I make out is something like, "...real boyfriend.." She must have been having a difficulty in speaking dream, where you are trying to speak but you sense your real jaw which is frozen. Making it hard to speak in your dream. She vanishes, so I leave. I'm walking back to where I live. I briefly wonder why I didn't bring my car (failed RC). Because walking kind of sucks. The sidewalk goes strange. Some tiles are missing and filled with water. I avoid those. Next is a drop , The only way down is a metal ladder covered in ice... Great. But I somehow make it down. At the bottom is the Asian girl (Jamie) again. I still don't recognize her as Jamie. She taps me on the shoulder and says, " You're my boyfriend, my REAL boyfriend." I'm still not recognizing her as Jamie. I think about saying, or I might have said, " I already have a girlfriend." Still not getting it, but I wake up. Her voice does say to me out relationship feels real. I have been asking her for this past week to please tell me in a dream the same thing to confirm. I believe she just did. Jamie 4 I'm in my Bowden house. But it's facing 2A for some reason. I look out the window and see Jamie driving by in a brown SUV. She nervously looks my way quickly and drives away. Concert I'm in some football stands at some event. Like waiting for a concert. I notice Weird Al behind me. We start having a conversation. I ask him how his new tour is going? He says great, I hope to see you there. Then he starts making all these strange predictions about me. Like I'm going to meet Sally and learn to be a crochet master or something. I'm thinking if he's trying to be a psychic, he must be terrible at it. I'm not into these things at all. Then I realize He's not being serious at all. He's just joking around, because He's Weird Al..
Funny couple days. Day 1 i was making a supper. For some reason the Jamie voice likes to bug me while I'm trying to cook. " You're doing that wrong... That's too much!!! You cut those too big!" First of all I ask how she would even know what I am doing? She always answers that she can see it in her mind. I always say you're not here to eat it, so let me do it my way. Also the brake pads on my car are going so I'm not delivery driving until they are fixed. My dad has work for now. Jamie 1 A quick flash of Jamie standing over a stove, eating out of a pot. Apparently it's supposed to be what I made. She smiles at me while eating it. Jamie 2 A quick flash of her in a wheelchair. She's rolling towards me. Hm I hope this isn't a real thing. Next night: nothing. Yesterday, possible drive by when it was getting dark. I was talking to her voice outside and heard, " I really wanna see you." I heard a car slow down by me house, so I walked to see. It was super dark. A grey car drove by and in the passenger seat I saw a head turn to look at me. But it was so dark and fast I couldn't make the person out. The head turn was like her though. Like I said, I don't mind if she does this. Just please make sure I can clearly see her. I wanna see her too. It does help validate to me what I'm going through on this blog. So don't be sneaky or disguise herself. Jamie 3? I was in a gas station store, that had a McDonald's in it or something. A familiar woman went to the glass door. Her hair was dyed light purple. I thought it was Zoe from when I worked with Jamie, Z worked at the same place. The woman recognized me and she seemed to be holding back tears. Zoe was another "friend." From that time (not as close), who suddenly turned on me when I was going through my dark night of the soul. So I reacted in the dream as if it was Zoe. She started to say something but I cut her off with. " What, you're suddenly going to talk to me after 13 years? We were good friends and you dropped me without explanation, and I'm supposed to just accept you back?" The woman took a step back. She said, "I'm going to kill myself." And it sounded like Jamie's voice. And she turned and ran out the door. I was going to follow her and apologize, but I woke up. Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to be very careful with my words. I'm pretty sure it was Jamie in the dream. Unfortunately, the way I described Zoe also applies to her. I do acknowledge that Jamie at least, tried to explain. Just not very well. I woke up and realized I had fallen asleep and didn't finish my prayers. I had started and dosed off. The Jamie voice was there , but quiet. We eventually talked about it somewhat and agreed to finish my long list of prayers. I added to not let us be prisoners to the pain of our past. There's a line about love in Corinthians somewhere in the Bible that says something like, "Love keeps no records of wrongdoings." While what I said to Zoe in the dream applies to Jamie, and I do indeed feel that way sometimes. That is a worthy goal to strive for. It's almost humanly impossible to forget. That's why I'm going to rely on Jesus and shut my mouth if Jamie comes to me in person with something to say. Bull I was in the lobby of a hotel checking on my business cards. I noticed the display tray was emptied. So I went to get more cards. When I got back there was a menacing bull with big horns in my way. I made sure I wasn't carrying anything red, so that it wouldn't charge at me. Other small dreams involved something about a McDonald's franchise owner was meeting with a man who owned a bar franchise, or something.... Idk One dream seemed to involve the lady from Our of the box. Hey, they haven't called me in weeks... I'm to shy to call them now.
Went home early today, started feeling tired but not sick. I can't do consistent 10-14 hour days like I know some ppl do. Night off I decided to focus on the Jamie voice. If it's really her we had a good time and my dreams reflected that. Last 2 nights no dreams of Jamie. Jamie 1 Just a flash of slow dancing with her in a bar. The song sounded country... Blech!! But we were enjoying ourselves and started kissing. Jamie 2 I was in a park with Jamie. I was laying down and she got on me and started dry humping me. Lol. The image of it was funny. What if there's kids around? I can't remember my other dreams very well. One was in a large building. I find focusing on Jamie more instead of other things increases the frequency of dreams.
Made a good amount yesterday, so I'm taking a day off. Only problem is I'm not getting as much dreams. Weird Was in a strange maze house. Only way to describe is you can't leave the house without solving things in certain rooms. I wanted to exit so I went up a staircase that led to a room. In the room there is a mannequin dancing to no music by itself. False memories of being in this room earlier and doing something with boxes to bring the mannequin to life. I remember touching the mannequin in a sexual way to see what would happen. It turned to me and barred it's teeth like a dog warning you to not go near it's bone while it's gnawing at it. I backed off and the mannequin seemingly smiled and went back to dancing. I had an urge to try and fight it and I grabbed it by the arm. The arm seemed muscular and I got the impression that it was a fleshly being covered in a fake white skin. I decided not to fight it and left the room looking for another way out. White board Dreamed I was leaving messages for Jamie - or what I thought was Jamie on a white board outside a house. I left one message like a marriage proposal on it. I saw the girl read it and say to the other girl with her that, there's no way she would ever want to be with me. Woke up and deliberated with Her voice for a bit. What I got from her voice was the opposite from my dream. Jamie I'm in a dream with Jamie and she's confirming to me, yet again that she wants to have a relationship with me in person. Talking I was outside of a fancy old fashioned school building talking to some woman about my cousin who died. Las night: no Jamie dreams. Working delivery even makes her voice faint. There is a way to get rid of the voice. In the past I got so busy in day to day life, and Jamie in hers. That we both kind of forget about it. There were periods like this in past years before this strange, "relationship." T2 Totally random dream about Terminator 2. I was apparently visiting places where it was filmed. The psych ward parking lot chase was a tourist attraction. But it was a weird dream version. There was a cosplay Terminator there with a fake accent. Me and other people seemed to be enjoying the place...
Raven just got the call about her Mom. So send your prayers her way. Jamie 1 I was doing food delivery with Jamie again. Apparently we were delivering to the same hotel or apartment. We were taking stairs for some reason instead of the elevator. I put the food down by one door. Jamie was putting the other bag down but I said hers is a few doors down. Honestly food delivery is Garbage in red deer. I'm already 20 minutes away which is an extra 10 in gas per day. I found a listing for a cheap hybrid Kia in a newspaper... Only 3500. I'm humming and hawing because I think it's hard to find parts for those vehicles. I would only be paying a quarter of what I pay in gas now. But... Jamie 2 In this dream we seem to be in a Stephen King novel. I remember something about Pennywise. I seem to be an early tween. I remember standing outside waiting for a school bus. Street was on a hill. It was also raining outside. It flashed forward to me being outside a school. I seem to be with a group of friends. Jamie is there, we don't know eachother yet but she seems to be flirting heavily with me. She says something sharp but sweet and goes inside the school. The Ritchie kid teases me about her. But I still don't recognize it was Jamie, so I say something like I'm promised to someone else. Some other kid with a spike cut gives me a dirty look. Later we are in a library. We are told to watch a movie. This makes no sense but we have to put these special gloves on to watch it. They are white gloves made of plastic. Around the wrists are buttons like the metal round ones on children's jackets that snap together. I'm told the movie only starts when all the buttons are snapped down. So I do that and there are like 10 on each glove. After being done I stare at the gloves looking for a screen or something. Then I experience a quick flash of a longer dream. In the dream The MCU Avengers were in Derry fighting Pennywise... And they of course destroyed half the town doing it. I wish I could remember more details. That sounds like a fun crossover. In the end the town thanks the avengers half heartedly. I guess because they ruined the town. Jamie 3 Same scenario. I'm walking with Jamie to school. It's raining again but we are holding hands. My vision zooms out and in the sewers I see Pennywise lurking. He looks super pissed. Jamie 4 An audio dream. Jamie is telling me that she still indeed plans to have a relationship with me in person. I know I already dreamed this. I kept asking Her voice to give me more dreams telling me this. I need a lot of reassurance okay
Posting late. I was delivery driving for 10 hours. Jamie 1 Just a flash. I'm not in the dream. Scene is a street. Jamie is walking on a sidewalk when a car pulls up and stops beside her. An Elven lady gets out and seems smitten with Jamie. I hear music in the background. It sounds like a synth playing an interesting scale. The elf seems smitten with Jamie. Well. I guess if an elf from LOTR had any advice for Jamie about me, I guess it'd be. " If you want him, come acclaim him ". (I'm dead if Jamie has never seen LOTR.) Car I'm walking to my street and I see my car. For some reason I think I'm also battling a powerful creature. Jamie 2 Various other dreams with Jamie that I can't remember. Just a sense she was with me in various dreams. The vibe was good and we were getting along great.
A bit better dreams. Piano went well at the Didsbury hospital. Coffee news back charged me for cancelling the ad. Agreed to pay 50 a month. Got setup for an ad in the Western buy.sell.trade. , which covers all the small towns from Calgary to red deer . For half the price. Better deal in my opinion. Had some minor issues with the Jamie voice. We both seemed to be entertaining certain temptations, causing all sorts of issues . But this morning, we had a really good time being nice and affectionate. Maybe drive by again. Unconfirmed since I didn't see anything. A dodge neon SRT (mine is an automatic, not SRT crappy version)in blue slowly drove by my house, but I was vaguely not paying attention . Voice claims she may have been in the passenger seat. I heard the car lingering on the corner but out of site. Maybe someone waiting for people to cross the streets. But this car lingered for 3 minutes at least. Didn't see anyone so can't confirm. I just report what my head says unbiased. Jamie 1 Me and Jamie were in a plaza at night time. We both were walking up to some woman who was backing up from us. We seemed to be threatening... Fending off another one of her lesbian suitors? Wrong girlfriend I was in a bedroom talking to someone. The bedroom had a doorframe made of mattresses. In this dream my girlfriend was the slightly chubby girl in the highschool dream from months ago. In that dream Jamie tried to get me another girlfriend but it was a chubby girl. Same one. In the current dream I was complaining that my girlfriend wasn't very affectionate to me. Never wanted to hold hands or hug, or talk sweetly. I declared I was done with her. Just then the chubby girl walked in and looked pissed at me because she had overheard. I just reaffirmed to her my statement. Yep, one thing I like about the voice, is we both never hesitate to give affection, and reassure one another. I remember a real instance when I hung out with Jamie - I was complaining that she didn't seem to be listening to me. She didn't hesitate to re assure me in that moment. So it lends credibility to the personality of her voice. Jamie 2 Me and Jamie were in the backseat of a car and we were holding hands and looking at one another lovingly. Jamie 3 I was in a house that was very familiar. (When I was growing up in Chilliwack, I lived in a house that had the almost exact layout as our friend Gary. Except our garage was where his brothers bedroom was. And his garage was on the other side, with a 2 bedroom addition above it.) Anyway I think my dream inner world house is like that. I was inspecting the rooms and was somehow opening the ceiling. There was a blank space with no insulation. I was wondering how we are going to survive winter. I went to the upstairs living room and Jamie was on a couch and surrounded by people. She didn't seem to look at me. ( In some dreams, one of us or both of us thinks we are actually think we are around one another in waking life. We think it's been years since we actually talked, so it's painfully awkward.) I go past the living room and past the dining table to where the back porch is. I open the screen door and my brother is cheerfully talking with Gary. I say Hi to him. His face goes neutral and then he looks pissed at me. I am wondering what his problem with me is when I wake up. Jamie 4 Just a flash of looking at my phone. A messenger notification pops up and it's from Jamie. I get triggered because it's the one with the purple lighting where she looks... Hard to describe, blank, but also in despair, and maybe angry. I don't even read the message because maybe I feel her face in the photo is anger, and hatred towards me. As if to say, " Look at what you did to me ." I also IRL avoid scrolling through messenger all the way down because of that picture. It's also kind of how she looked in the store when she pretended I wasn't there. But I still have to remind myself, that since then. I have seen her on the street and she has smiled at me in passing. Trying to end on a positive note here.
Not much to report. Going to bed late. Not sleeping in. Lower recall. Jamie 1 Just a dream Jamie had a piano tuning hammer... The same kind I bought off Amazon. Is she training to do my overflow already? The course I got certified from was piano technician academy. Btw I'm doing the Didsbury hospital piano tomorrow. Jamie 2 A dream Jamie was with me for delivery again. We kept going up and down a busy road. Her mood seems neither sweet nor dry. Not complaining, happy with consistency.
Jamie 1 A dream Jamie was talking to me. Can't remember where we were but she said, " You can tune MY piano anytime." In a seductive tone. Only she can make that sound sexy. Did she look into the earning potential if you have a full supply of customers? Girl, if you can't handle me when I'm broke, you don't deserve me when I got 60 bucks, lol. It's getting those customers is the hardest part. Jamie 2 Sitting on a porch with Jamie. We had 3 TVs and was watching different shows. A woman was there earlier and said, pointing to Jamie, " you know that girl has BPD." Saying it as if to discourage me. That probably is the reason I haven't written her off. Those people appear narcissistic, but some aren't really. The Jamie voice even pops up in my head if I find myself on psychology and relationship tiktok. She'll say, " I'm not a narcissist. I just didn't know what I was doing/ following bad advice." Last night: various sensing of Jamie being with me in many dreams but can't recall details. In one we were doing food delivery or something. I'm liking her consistency
Jamie 1 Dreamed Jesus woke me up in a false awakening. He had his hand extended, I took it and he led me to a closet. We opened it and I side was a white coffin. We Got Jamie out of the coffin. Okay, what is it with dreaming Jamie is in a closet or locked in a box or coffin? Very common themes lately. Jamie 2 Flash of Jamie making out with some girl. Okay, getting tired of dreaming about that. Last night: Had kind of a rough night with her voice. I was thinking about the past again too much causing me to split bad. Had trouble sleeping for a while because of it. But we talked about it. Jesus wants us to give a lot of grace to one another. I'm getting there. I'm just worried if it bothers me sometimes - if we start talking again, I hope she is willing to explain some things from time to time. In order to settle the issue and move on from it quickly. I wouldn't recommend a giant discussion of the past in one sitting though. Might do more harm than good. Like we learned in school about earthquakes, better to have small quakes to alleviate the pressure instead of a giant destructive quake. Children Had a dream I saw something about Jamie online. She had a blog post where she had all these children. Asuka took me to her place. Jamie was there and another adult, I don't know who. Jamie was not looking at me at all. I decided to leave and at the door Jamie smiled at me. She looked tired. Uh oh. I guess I better be more careful from now on. I think Jesus has told us both to be really careful with one another.
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