side notes

I wrote down my dreams but I'm just too exhausted. Deep cleaning the house today in preparation for Thanksgiving dinner at my house. We bought a 50 inch tv, new stand & upgraded to the Hopper3 w/ the joey. It's finally time Mike & I got something for ourselves. We always buy for grand kids & other things but we finally put ourselves first. Screw it if christmas isn't as big & flashy as usual. Now the kids can reap the benefits from all the movies/netflix, etc. We are tired of being at the bottom when my husband busts his ass to work over 60 hrs a f****** week & feel like we can't buy ourselves shit. Good for us! I'll post my stuff tomorrow during my breaks of cleaning like a mad woman again.

Yesterday I had a power issue in my house so I just was able to say only that but here my dream from yesterday where I needed to pee before I fell asleep but I was so tired I fell asleep anyway.

Non-lucid: People are in the beginning stages of turning into zombies I think. That is the close I can figure out but they didn't look like they were injured in anyway but they had become very violent & distant & just plain were acting weird. I was in a nice bar that served food too. Also there is a big park outside. We are stealing food by slipping in through a second entrance through the huge bathroom in the back. This repeats a whole lot. I continuously feel like I need to pee but I just keep going on these trips even though a bathroom is right there over & over. This was a long dream w/ us going through the park & back to the bar like place. (Meesha Cat woke me up so, that was that.)

Today my dreams were just to hard to hold on to. I'm just becoming so busy that I'm exhausted but only get small amounts of sleep. Friday we wrapped up helping our son by a car & took it too him at school then we all drove back to our house where we had went to buy a new tv & stand which is our gift to ourselves & for the grand kids so they can now watch Netflix & DVD's w/ it. Most of today will not be much rest either. More preparing for family for Thanksgiving & my poor husband went to work for his second 6 day week w/ crazy overtime.

Must log tomorrow. Power issue.

I woke up abruptly from a really bad spinal pain & my dreams were lost. Sigh.

No dream recall other than my dad was in it due to someone calling & waking me up.

I remember having a dream, but I can't quite recall it.

"You will always be the sunshine, I will always be an eagle"

non-lucid: I was in this hospital but all the rooms were weird scenario's. One had my dad saying that my mom left him. (which will never happen cuz they just retired & traveling via their RV. They now officially live in it w/ their dog} It was just so bizarre.

I know the meaning. I have way too many things going on & I need to take care of myself first.

non-lucid: I was w/ a group of people preparing to go into a part of America where we were to secretly vote but must be coached & heavily guarded due to the civil unrest of a kind of fall out from Martial Law which turned into what looked like a 3rd world country. Some sections were completely taken over by way more than a military presence. There were parts that were taken over by local thugs in the city. It was a whole lot of violence. Militia were the ones helping us. These were a mix of races of concerned military persons who were trying to take back our country. It was disheartening to the reality of what could actually happen here. Those of us who were white had to hide our faces & also vice versa for black people w/ us in order for us to stay safe during our journey through different areas that were biased to whichever group of people they were against. There was a big focus on making sure we filled out our ballots correctly in order for them to count to an underground group of citizens trying to take back their country. It reminded me of those persecuted & killed during the Nazi reign where citizens banded together to stay safe & become the resistance. We were the resistance in my dream. We were the people who were trying to stop the oppression. We even went through a very crude lesson in firing guns & protecting ourselves w/ strategy & knowing how to deal w/ those we encounter. Such as when to get down, how to recognize different groups of ppl we would encounter according to our race. This was a very vivid informative dream for me do to the civil unrest & oppression that resulting from most of us voting for Trump to try & break free from the political agenda of the elites. (Essentially those whom did not vote for Hillary.) What the people that voted for Hillary do not understand is that our history has been actually changed in academic books to educate a false history in favor of those who were the real racists (democrats) whom wanted to oppress the black community. Planned Parenthood is a form of eugenics which has been widely ingrained in our society for way too long. Our people in general are not racists put the establishment has promoted to pit races against each other in order to divide us. Hence my dream was structured like this. I think I'm going to do some outward meditation today because I've spent so much time dealing w/ a political war that I've been studying & educating others about for the last 16 yrs. I owe it to my country to continue to search for answers & put it out there via social media. We finally won the vote in Trump. He understands the real political agenda of the elite & is a business man whom we need badly in a country that is so insanely in debt & are in need of a good house cleaning & makeover.

My dreams are becoming more complicated. I can't explain them from last night. I'm not even going to try because my head is spinning. By complicated I mean there are layers upon layers of content that it's overwhelming!

This dream was very vivid in the streets in buildings & individual people & details. Unfortunately I can't explain the dream very well. It featured members of my family & my own sexuality into the conversations. It was not a sexual dream though, yet the topic was quite prominently there. I am a bi-sexual woman & I am married to a very heterosexual man. I'm really not sure why this topic was even any kind of topic. Maybe it had to do w/ a conversation I just had w/ my husband which related to people thinking that anyone of LGBT community would vote for Donald Trump. Well, the answer to that is that he publicly recently made a comment about supporting the transgender community. But more importantly the dream was so very very vivid in details that was very exciting as always. It wasn't even a lucid dream yet it was incredibly vivid which I enjoyed quite a lot.

I was at my old job but it was all kinds of different. In real life I was in quality control I for a company that makes batteries for the US govt that goes into things like the space shuttle, rockets & other things I can't talk about. Anyway, one of my old male bosses had me helping to build a baseball field in the parking lot for a company picnic. Then we went inside where he has designed a new floor plan. There was the usual talk about why I was there because I didn't work there anymore which always signifies to me that I am now in the dream world & lucidity sets in. It's always bittersweet but I just start talking to people & enjoy being w/ my friends from work again at work. I'm loving shoving my skills in there very young early 20 somethings face. I always get a kick out doing this. These people just don't know jack shit, lol. There was an opening night when another of my supervisors are being talked down to because 2 of the elements aren't lining up right but it was because someone else didn't do their jobs. I was sad to be woke up by Meesha Cat because I was lucid. I did get to take out some frustrations out on some immature young adults who were acting childish.

My husband & I used to work at the same place & he's still there. It's also where I was injured & why I'm disabled. So I have this reoccurring setting often which usually occurs when I'm having a hard time dealing w/ our financial situation. Christmas & thanksgiving together w/ multiple family birthdays also to deal w/ will always trigger this kind of dream.

I had a really weird that is hard to explain. It was a mishmash of holiday colors & themes. I am obviously starting to feel the holiday pressure. I have tried to live each day, day by day & live in the moment but now I have to deal w/ crunch time. My husband got some seriously bad news after being at his job for almost 34 yrs. The new owners gave them a raise but back handed them w/ going to 4 10's. which is Monday through Thursday 10 hrs a day only 4 days a week. For someone like my husband who works a ton of overtime to keep us afloat & to keep up w/ the added tasks because they fired so many people, this is awful. The overtime is basically lost which is a crazy portion of his checks so he didn't in reality get a raise but will be making less when you add all of this up & add on new insurance rising. Hence, the overwhelming dream. Then there is one of my daughters who has lived w/ her boyfriend for almost 3 yrs now & she just can't understand why I can't afford in many ways to start buying things for his 3 kids. If she gets married I'll have no choice but it's all so shaky. I don't want to get attached to them & vice versa & there is heart break everywhere. It's so complicated because her boyfriends parents buy her 2 kids stuff. There circumstances are very different from our even though his mom works at the same place my husband does. They won a lawsuit & don't have home payments & other such stuff. AHHHHH, it's so frustrating. My poor husband works so hard to pay for all of my medical needs too which they couldn't even fathom. Apparently my daughter still doesn't understand it all. All she knows is that this creates conflict for her which I cannot fix. Okay, I think my ranting is over. (taking a deep breath) Tomorrow is another day.

I woke up to chaos this morning w/ dealing w/ my phone company & a whole sleuth of real life shit! I'm just so exhausted & now disappointed cuz I had a really fun dream but that's about all I remember because I had to deal w/ life at the butt crack of dawn & then had to go shopping for food. The only good thing was laughing half the day at how we voting in Trump! It's about time we got our guy who won't put up w/ shit & screw over the American people. It just makes me laugh at how insane it would've also be if Hillary had really become our president. She needs professional help. Maybe her cell block buddy will recommend a good therapist that they have at her facility!

I really need to start writing down my dream as the first thing in the morning.