side notes

non-lucid, lucid, false awakening

.../I see a group of drunk people gathering in a park, one of them is going to help a porcupine to get rid off some spines it has nailed in its body. I go to my house which now it's a cabin and it's a mess inside. It's night and I walk to the kitchen. The whole house is lit by the street lighting that gets through the windows. I find a door in a strange position on the upper corner of its doorframe. I think it has happened again. I use telekinesis to rotate it in the right position. I go to do something in the living room, when I come back to the kitchen, I find the door is back in its strange position. Once again I'm going to use telekinesis when I realize it must be a dream. I'm exited to do it again. I rise my hand and command the door to move back to it's normal position. I got to do it with some difficulty. Now I turn and go to the living room, feeling exited. I want to do something else. The first thing that pop in my mind, flying! I'm not outside the cabin, but I think I can do something here inside, thinking it's all about confidence. I see the shadows of the room, and I jump face down on them to start the flight. I think I may fly inside the house. But in stead, I don't even crash to the floor, on the contrary it's like diving into the void. I'm fascinated with the experience, I turn surrounded by darkness to slightly fall on my bed. It's on the room of the cabin, I open my eyes completely amazed by the previous flight into darkness, and realize I haven't change my outerwear for something more comfortable, I have even my shoes on! I feel to tired to stand up, so I try to take my clothes out on the bed. It's getting complicated to do so. I give up, and start thinking in my previous experience. I have to take note of this before I forget about it while slowly I start to feel the transition.

* And I wake up for real in the same position on my bed noticing it was the end of my first sleep cycle of the night

In my previous dream I had just gotten shot in the head, I told the person to do it. I laid still afterwards and waited for the whooshing to start. I visualized myself in a parking lot and that is where I ended up.
I felt everything around me, stabilized and looked at the fine hairs on my arm. It was raining a little bit I think and was a little windy. I had a really weird feeling in my legs, kind of tingly. I tried to summon somebody but they looked really weird. Like half of the normal face then half the face of Arya Stark from GoT. So I tried somebody else to summon and they had their head on a horse. The horse chased after me and kept nudging me and woke me up.



I laid on my right side and waited for the noises, like the whooshing and tinnitus kind of things. Then I focus on them and make them louder, and then I visualized myself in to the dream and it worked. Was after around 8 hours of sleep and I had a dream right before it.
I feel like I can enter into this phase really easily now after some sleep, going to keep working on it.

Dream - 8:00AM

I'm walking around a place with escalators. I see a guard in my way, I keep hitting him until he moves. He eventually gives in and offers to pull down a leaver which was on the wall, and does it. Im standing near a wall and it opens a special storage box inside the wall. There's brick like things in the way. The scene has changed to my rumpus room sf my house but still see bricks etc. Ben and I begin to take bricks off and as we almost reach last brick Ben gets cautious. He puts a cloth over the area, as If he was expecting some sort of creature to come out. A snake comes out. Ben tries to pick it up and it hisses at him. It's now on the floor. it's small medium size black snake. Ben is dad now. Dad puts a shoe over it and tries to cover hole where it may escape. I try to fix it so the hole is completely sealed but i make it worse. Snake escapes again and it can shrink itself into small blob and still move. It makes it's way under the couch. It comes out again and dad throws something over it again. I put a jacket over it but the snake pushes it's body and head up and it looks as if it's standing with a sheet on its head. I see Rex underneath the snake and snake bites Rex's ear, I freak out and stop it by pulling it away. Rex doesn't seem bothered and is still laying there.

Dream Fragment:

I'm outside and I see people. At a petrol station?

Side Notes:

Neck felt much better tonight but recall was shit once again. I've been putting effort into my affirmations and not getting rewarded. Not sure what's up but will just keep on keeping on.

Either I had a lucid dream in my first night trying, or I just dreamed that I have a lucid dream. I did a RC and I had 6 fingers. At first I didn't even see the difference, then I paid more attention to my fingers and I suddenly saw it.

So what did I do in my dream? I've been in a small town that I've never seen before. I had walked a little bit and then I took a guy's bike and drove away. After it the dream was over, a pity. In addition, my dream was in a raster. I felt like I'm the main character of a video game.

.../I get in an empty yard which connects many houses, it's dawning. I have a piece of folded paper that I want to put inside a strange box. I'm trying to figure out how this sort of mailbox opens. It seems to have a lot of compartments, but I don't get it. After a couple of attempts, I see two thrash cans on the opposite side, then a couple of guys who look like they have some oriental origins, come into the yard. One of them has long hair, in a Columbus hairstyle. I realize what I have in my hand is actually a crumpled piece of paper, and I better put it in the thrash can. While I'm doing this, a lot of girls get into the scene, apparently some of them are laughing about my clumsiness. I see there's one of the teachers from the kindergarten mocking with a loud "Aw!" in a particular manner that makes me feel ashamed. Now the yard is getting more and more filled with people. I don't like to be here, I leave the place carrying a weird cart which is not correctly assembled. I see it in detail, and I find there's a bolt and a nut with a couple of washers maladjusted, that must join both pieces in the middle. While trying to put them right, I see a car coming in what now is a bridge/garden and that I'm next to the gate. I let the pieces I'm holding with my fingers fall, when I'm moving aside to let the entrance free. The driver looks like an angry old man, he doesn't answer my greetings, I don't care, I want to find the pieces on the floor before he closes the gate. I find first the bold, I think the other pieces fell into a empty space at a side of a bridge. The janitor, who looks like another angry old man, is about to close the gates. I ask him to wait a minute until I find the other pieces. He says something I don't understand. Finally I got to find the nut and a washer. I barely remember there was another one. I decide that it was just one but I didn't pay enough attention. I see the car turning to the left where apparently leads to the house. But this whole place seems to me more a port than a house/...

* It was yesterday after a nap but didn't have the time to translate it form the rough sketches I made of it

Dream 1 - 3:50AM

I'm at the park entrance, opposite dragon lady's house. I see Kayley's car or parts of the car, sticking upside down on the side of the road. The tires look to have been split in half. I walk over to my house and see Kayley in the drive way. I tell her that I moved the car but she doesn't believe me. She pokes her head around the corner to see if I was being honest.

I'm now up the court of where Germain lives and I have my bike with me. I take it into his property and decide to pump my tires up. I'm with someone I know and they're pumping them up for me but isn't connecting the pump correctly. I help him out and show him how to do it. He wasn't pulling down the lock function when connecting it to the wheel. I keep looking towards the front door of the house to see if the door is open and it's closed. Sometime later it opens and I hear Shonnie mention something. I leave and then shortly come back. I move bike over towards the trailer and begin to lock it up with a chain. I'm struggling to connect the chain together due to it not stretching far. Before I leave I think about leaving a letter on the front gate saying how much of a nice guy Shonnie is. I walk out onto the road and see that there is a few people stealing clothes from someone's front yard. There's a lot of clothes. I join them and take my fair share of clothes. They look brand new. I carry them over to my house which isn't far at all. As I reach my house it starts raining. I walk around the back which has an under cover area. I see my dog Rex at the back door, he seems to have a dog bone in his mouth.


Dream 2 - 7:18AM

I'm at my old house and on the PC behind the bar. I see a girl and we both seem keen on one another but don't show it. She has work the next day but we still intend to go to bed together. I walk into my room and begin to brush my teeth. I think about putting a condom under the mattress without her knowing, in case we hit it off but didn't want her to know my intentions if hers were not alike. I think she decides to brush hers too but can't find a tooth brush or toothpaste. I walk into my parents room and have a look in their if I can find anything.

I'm in bed with her but forget what happens. I wake up but with the bed on the opposite side of the room. I see her lying their asleep. (I had strong emotions in this dream)


Dream Fragment:

1. I think West Coast football club or the Suns win a game of football. They are celebrating as if they won a grand final but I think all they did was beat Collingwood. A team they always struggle against. As the winning teams players run on the field, I see that the stadium is empty apart from their members area which is a few levels high. The team is running in a single line holding up flags with their club on it. One of the players is Jade Herrix, I don't think he played in the game and may have been a sub or emergency player. I was focusing on him and see that he was the most excited about the win then any other player. They all start hugging and congratulating one another, making sure no one missed out.

2. I see a conference table with well dressed adults. I'm not sure what they're talking about but do notice they are all accompanied by one of their children (under 10 years old). One of the kids asks a question to one of the other adults but tells their own dad the question so he can say It out aloud. The father asks the question which is something like "can you leak a confidential phone number?"' The man that was asked is black. He shakes his head and says no. They try and tempt him with money and offer a maximum of $100,000. The black man looks to pause a little as if he is thinking about it, but insists with a no. I start to think that maybe if they asked him for a vowel he would open up to that idea.

Side Notes:

Another poor nights sleep. Struggling to get back to sleep after recalling a dream. Sore neck is still uncomfortable to sleep with.

Hypnagogia, non-lucid

- All of the sudden I'm folding a huge piece of paper, which is constructed with lot of smaller segments may be the size of an A2 sheet. There are some watercolors paintings here and there. I´m just trying to fold the whole thing which has become a bit complicated to do.

- I realize I'm clearly hearing a lot of female laughing on the background.

- I'm standing next to a pile of things, when an electric guitar toy fall to my side. I reflectively react with a fast move and catch it on the fall./...

* I wake up with a jolt (shake?) on the bed.

.../ I'm sitting on a chair and a black cat jumps on my legs. I don't know its intentions, but I'm afraid it will slap me in the face. The cat does nothing but seems nervous. I find it logic that it will end up slapping me in the face because of confusion. The scene turns stressing. I'm waiting for its next move but I let it stay on my legs/...

* If I wouldn't have taken notes, these segments were lost forever.

.../I'm in some art galleries. There's a lot of young people walking here and there. I've made a collage using some pictures from a girl friend apparently I know well and posted on the wall. She sees one of her paintings hanging on the board. She gets upset, because she thinks her work sucks. I hold her from the hip when she wants to walk away. I tell her it's OK, that she must not worry about her works because she's a great artist.
I see her talking to her 'Grand Master', who is sort of presence on a huge screen hanging from the roof. She asks him if the tattooed man is the man with the little tattoo that she has already dreamed with. I think she may be referring me, but I'm not sure. There's certain DV thing in all of this, but I cannot clearly distinguish what is it exactly.
I get into her room, and looking around I tell her it's a great atelier and that I miss the two I got to build. I get into another room in a side, when another girl gets in. I saw her and ask her for what happened because of we were going to have sex and I'm still waiting. She turns her back on me, and gets closer, lifting her tight golden dress. I help her and we start having some fun/...

.../I'm in my grandparents' house. My foster mother (my aunt mom) finally got to see my little daughter again. She tries to carry her, but I see she's to heavy now and I ask her to put her down. But she goes out to greet some relative who gets into the scene in a car with her son. They talk about something, I want to take my daughter back home. The older one sleeps on the table in the kitchen, and my aunt-mom tells me she looks like my little half brother. I agree/...

.../I'm seeing a dance on a field, actually there are two folkloric dances mixed together. The dancers are forming couples which change from one to another along the song. In certain part of the choreography they kiss. I see some girls making a gesture with the mouth, like trying to avoid a real contact.
We are in the lake, the water covers my legs, but my upper side is still dry. I friend of mine wants to submerge us all. He dives in. I see his hair floating. The water level is rising. I don't want to get deeper because of the cold. He's lying on the bottom. I dive in to see if everything is OK. He plays to snore, and tells something and dives out. But I made a false move and get into a deep zone. Now I'm floating and tell people that the water levels are rising. I look for somewhere to put my feet on. I see my shadow moving on the bottom. The water is clear. At the end, I got all my clothing wet, but it feels nice to be here/...

* Recall is improving again and there's still a whole week to play some more.

DREAM 1

I'm standing next to a bed in an expensive looking apartment. I'm talking to Dana White and Lorenzo Fertitta (both UFC affiliated). We're looking at UFC playing cards. They look pretty cool and a bit bigger than your average playing card. Lorenzo shows me a deck which has a fuck up in it. It's showing Vitor Belfort and Ben Rothwell at the weigh ins, giving their stare down before the fights the next day (Strange considering Ben is Heavyweight and Vitor is Middleweight/Light Heavyweight).

Dana's kids run in the room and soon realize I was giving the deck because they kid had 2 of the same and didn't need it. I look on the floor and notice a deck of cards still in its pack.

We're standing in a kitchen and I tell Dana and Lorenzo I'm surprised no ones brought this up in the MMA forums, which is "do you only watch normal wrestling or do you watch all forms including the hardcore matches where they use chairs etc". Lorenzo says he does watch both.

DREAM 2 - 9:50AM

I'm watching people cook on a cooking show. It's the master chef format. One of the contestants which had already been knocked out or was from a previous season is demonstrating a dish. She puts a pad at the bottom of a potato for some reason. She gives another demonstration which involves potatoes again. This time she is using the plastic which holds a six pack of cans together. She calls it a strange name. I see potato that is hanging from the plastic as she pulls it up. She seems a little shaky as if she is a bit nervous and tends to be a little clumsy.

DREAM FRAGMENTS::

I'm watching a porn scene. A man has a couple pumps and finishes. I think it's odd and rewind it. I realize it was towards end anyways, so I watch it from the start. The man looks young and not the type of guy that does porn. He has a abnormally sized penis, which looks very blurry. He places it inside the women slowly.

SIDE NOTES:

Couldn't get to sleep until late and had a horrible sleep. Affirmations were not working this morning, was too tired.

.../I'm arguing with my dad about something, I'm getting angry with him for something I don't remember/...

* Unfortunately I didn't have a piece of paper at hand to write fast notes when I woke up from this first dream, there were a lot more but didn't want to wake up too much. I saw myself writing some notes, turning on the netbook, exploring different options, but always gave up because of the possibility of not being able to go back to sleep.

.../I'm in the old cafeteria at the university, I see the lady who served there and we talk about something. I'm hungry and ask her to give me something to eat and drink. It looks like it's late and there's no more. I got a glass of some fruit juice although I wanted a Coke. There's a piece of broken glass in it, I drink it anyway leaving the little piece at the bottom. I think I may go to the canteen, got some chicken from somebody first, I finish it before getting in/...

.../I'm getting back to another house from my university times, it's in front of a park, there are two women lying on the grass. They same to be half naked, and kiss each other. I see my wife on another grass spot, at first glance she looks like she's not covering her breasts, although when I get closer, she's lying face down. We talk something and get into the house/...

* That house uses to appear from time to time, now it has a third floor. Those days was just one floor on the ground.

* It wouldn't be a bad idea to put some recalling tools close to my bed, since these days I will have some more time

DREAM 1 - 4:30AM

I'm at my house in the bath room. I see Joe Rogan interviewing a dark skinned fighter. The fighter flips out on Joe and starts throwing punches at him. He's not happy with the way Joe criticises his guests. Joe moves out of the way of the mans attacks. I feel disgraced in the fighters actions towards Joe, as it's not a good look at all.

When Joe was interviewing it looked dark.

DREAM 2 - 6:30AM

I'm at Daryl's old house sitting in the lounge room. I can see Brent Johnston and his girlfriend. Brent and I start insulting each other for fun and I say some pretty funny stuff. He comes closer to me and I see what looks like black birth marks over his arms and shoulders, but is actually a cover up of his tattoos. He tells me about laser removal of his tattoos. He mentions that to get a small area removed it will cost $1000 or $2000 for all, and then points over towards his friend showing me how much of his tattoo he got removed. His friends tattoo on his leg looked stretched and blurred.. It was still there. I assume the army has changed him or they wanted him to remove his tattoos.

I continue insulting Brent and bring up about his goofy looking hat. Looks like a wizard hat, but at the time I was calling it a Willy Wonka hat.

I leave the lounge room and walk into kitchen where I see his girlfriend. She's standing at the fridge and mentions about her and Brent being back together and had been broken up for some time.

I'm back in the lounge room but this time, NAKED! There's a few people with me and I'm looking out the window. I see an old friend Josh Rooker. I embrace him and happy to see him as well as he is. He's got a candle in each hand. The candle is lit up and he is trying to prod me with them as a joke. I'm avoiding them at all costs, due to them being pointed at my arse... F THAT. I look outside and notice a car pull up with a group of people.

I'm now in the bathroom and I'm washing my hands with soap. I see a scene of one of the people that was out the front in the car. He's a famous Croatian football player who had the whole countries weight on his shoulders. He was their hope on winning the World Cup. I see a team run onto the field. I walk into Janes room and feel as if I shouldn't be here.

DREAM 3 - 8:55AM

I'm at Daryl's house In the kitchen area. I'm sitting at the kitchen table and I see dogs laying on a blanket, on top of the chair. Jane tells me to put the dogs out when I get up. My brother checks for piss stains where they have been sleeping and notices a couple stains. We try and justify that it's not pee and could be something else.

I walk outside where the veranda is and see that there's a slow cooker on the table. It's cooking some kind of stew. I think I try a small amount and think about giving some to Dad to try. I forget about that and put the lid back on. I see that there's dirty water on the lid and I think about if I should just put it on anyways, but decide to clean it.

I'm out the front of Jason and Louise's house, next to my old house. I see the slow cooker in front of me but it's not a chest. I feel as if the chest has something magical or mysterious about it. The chest is from a TV series, and to find out what the chest has in it and the meaning of it, we have to watch the rest of the series.

DREAM FRAGMENTS:

1. I'm at a house and I'm with my brother and friends. We're deciding to head out for the night I think. I worry about not drinking enough distilled water. I realise I have my water distilled running and think about doing a second cycle before I go out. Water distiller jug is not made out glass. I knock it over and it makes a different sound.

2. I'm at my house in the kitchen area and I'm explaining to my cousin Trev about my arachnoid cyst and how it effects me.

SIDE NOTES:
I used holo sync binaural beats to induce theta state so I could perform my mantras that way. I also put effort into my mantras before bed. I feel this helped a lot even on the first night. My head felt clear and on point upon awakening throughout the night. Not perfect but big improvement.
Performed some SSILD but was finding it too hard to get back to sleep. Was awake for at least an hour from 5:30^

in this dream i am talking to a girl from one of my classes in high school, for what ever reason, we are in the back of the class, i think because i got into trouble, i didn't really pay attention to why i was there. i talk to her and she starts laughing as well as me, i can't remember what we were talking about, just simple small talk. i get this warm feeling in my body, like i am really happy to be talking to her. i then wake up from the dream.

i barely know this girl ikr, i think i dreamt about her because i saw her not to long ago, i should have realized that it is the summer so no school but i guess i was to in the moment for a lucid dream. come to think about it i still haven't managed a lucid dream because i am always in the "moment". with my dreams, but imma keep trying.

read the dream yoga section (after reading the introductory parts earlier) of "The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep", very excited about the practice.

00:00 Tuesday 2014-08-12

00:17 pre-bedtime. day memory review, set strong intention to LD

00:35 bedtime

03:00 ? awake, hear sounds coming from wife and son in other rooms, a bit concerned about sounds from outside, take off mask and look out the window, BTB.

04:38

+(f) something about a farm?

05:46 LDs #48 and #49, they were awesome

+ in my room in the night, the door to my room was open, my wife and son (S1) were making noises and they came into my room and turned on the light. S1 wanted to do something with my computer which I needed for work, he wanted to install his own 3d chip into my laptop, I'm upset what are they doing here in the middle of the night, I'm tired, it was like 3am, I didn't want to let him do it, this is my work computer anything you do to it could ruin it. I feel a bit bad about rejecting him so I say "ok you can do it, but for one thing don't come in here at 3am." Then I get a *creepy* phone call, I answer it and I here a voice say "Hey, <my full name>, <something>" (I don't remember what they said but I understood "they" were watching me and weren't friendly), kind of laughing at me, I wondered how they did that. I returned to my bed and saw a low cabinet/closet open in the wall, there were pillow and sheets there, I was taking out some pillows. I'm back in bed and starting to get lucid?...

+ ... I'm suddenly in my sister's room in my chldhood home looking out into the hallway and am instantly lucid, I went out into the hallway, and started down the stairs. I started thinking about what to do and I decided to summon a DDGSHG I had seen before, and the dream ends...

+ I'm standing in a hotel lobby in just my underwear because I had locked myself out of my room. There are people in the lobby, the front desk is a circular island in the middle of the room, there are clerks there, I go to the front desk and say I locked myself out of my room. I felt a bit awkward being there in just my underwear (but not very much), they didn't respond to me so I go back to the elevator. The buttons were strange and I wasn't sure if it was actually an elevator or not, it seemed to open into a bathroom, the buttons were all located very low to the ground, they were all lit, I couldn't tell what was going on. I got out and walked through a dining room, I knew it was late at night, there were people eating, at a table, food on a buffet, I saw what I thought were sushi sandwiches, I continued walking by, I walk past a woman who whispers to her companion "that man's in his underwear!" and I angrily respond "Yeah, I know, that happens when you get locked out!"

+ ... and I'm in bed, "awake", in a dark room, but I thought I could be dreaming still, nose pinch showed that I was still dreaming. I tried to get up out of bed, I could move my arms and legs which went up into the air a bit but my body wouldn't move. OK, if I'm stuck in bed lets summon KS my highschool sweetheart. Should I teleport to the swimming pool where we were on our awesome swimming date? I feel my heartrate start to increase dramatically (either dream or actual, I don't know) at this thought, I know I have to calm down so I decide "forget that." I am able to roll out of bed and I'm standing in the room. It's a small hotel room with a wall-sized window running from floor to ceiling, covered with closed blinds. The orange lights from the city street lamps are leaking through the blinds. I know I'm in a room up high off the ground and there is a city outside. I'm sure I'm dreaming, but I don't want to fall and die so I do another nose pinch, and I step back away from the window to the wall at my back and take a few running steps and stretch my hands out superman style and fly right through the window and blinds out into the orange-tinted cityscape, I'm way up above the ground look down and see people/cars moving on the street, there are other tall buildings all around, I turn towards my right and fly in that direction.

There was another big window approaching. I was doing "superman with a go pro" style power bursts of speed by thrusting my fist forwards forcefully, I could feel the acceleration of motion when I did this. There were people around, some were flying, some were on the ground, they were *very bright and vivid*, I was amazed at the visual quality. I do a power fly through this large glass wall, it's into a crystal clear but dark night scene with shining snow falling down. The city scape starts to head up into hills in front of me. I think I should be looking for a woman and I turn around in the air and I see a big bulky woman approaching me, I reach for and squeeze her breasts and she turns into a man with man-boobs, I think "no no no be a beautiful woman" and he turns into a young beautiful woman, her right breast is exposed, it is firm and lovely, I reach to take it into my mouth and I wake up.

Takes a long while to get back to sleep but I want more lucids! I feel them in me, just gotta get back to sleep. Takes all my sleep kung fu and concentration but I eventually sleep again.

10:02

+ going into a small convenience store. I do something wrong or have stolen something, the store owner gets mad at me, I'm kicked out, I feel lucky to escape with my life.

I order lunch at the pizza place (LV) I order the lunch special, one guy goes on an on about how LV is better than the other place LV has the original flavor, I place the order with a guy who's outside. Then I return to this place and I sense it's been a long time since I placed the order but I know that my lunch must be ready, I have the guy I ordered with go and pick it up I think that's better because he has more authority, I hear him talking to the counter, apparently it's not ready yet and that they have to make a second one and give it to me free.

Scene inside a house, a small boy is a servant/slave, I see his small boy face, the young man master is preparing to murder the and place him into a box. The slave boy didn't do anything wrong, the master man says "it's just that kind of a thing." I'm observing. The master is wrapping the boy up in tape. Then a guy (from the convenience store gang?) comes up stealthily behind the evil master and sticks a long knife deeply into the bad guy's side, he does that several times. The young master freezes in shock and pain. The young man's family enters at this time into the dining room (on a level above the room we're in) it's a very wealthy family they're shocked at the scene in the living room below them.

+(f) PA vs. K (cities)? There are two houses and I see their addresses and say them out loud.

+(f) With MR parking a car on HC. Getting something out of the back of his car.

+ on a floating (in the sky?) boat there's a party prepared for one guy by his gay lover, he walks up the stairway to his lover who is the host and they're going to get down to business.

+ I see a convenience store mafia guy again in my parents house at a party our eyes meet he has a goatee I nod to him in recognition he doesn't acknowledge me back. Later there's something to do with money, if he gives me back all the money he'll kill me and he starts to give me money and I start to freak out but he only gives me a few coins and decides not to kill me.

big dreaming night again, not lucid though:

00:00 Wednesday 2014-08-13

00:30 pre-bedtime: day memory review, set intention for the night
00:57 bedtime

07:51

+ watching from high DO position a video of us moving back into our old house. My wife and I are watching this as a fond memory. The next-door neighbors are moving in too at the same time, so our moving van can't pull exactly in front of our house, it must stay out in the street double-parked in front of the neighbor's house. Neighbor's house is to the right, ours to the left. View starts out to the right of neighbor's house looking forwards/left to our house, and finishes up pointing to the right looking back at the moving van. I see our old dog come out on to the sidewalk and visit the neighbor's dog, they're sniffing each other's noses and are really happy. I see a former manager of mine bringing a load in. Then I see myself skinny in jeans bringing in a load, I've really lost some weight living in that other place for a while.

+ setting up in a new house, I'm a teen, walking through small but very ornately decorated rooms, ask my "dad" in the office where I can set up my computer, he says do it in my room, mom will tell me where to do it. The desks are like 18th century large ornate wooden desks with cusioned wooden chairs, there are little nooks throughout the cramped rooms.

+ (all DO) I see a woman lying back on a medical examination table.

Spoiler for NSFW:

She's naked and her legs are spread, her knees are up and feet are down on the table, and I see a very large penis come up from beneath the table and penetrate her fully, I sort of do a double take and see this again. My view transitions to being inside the woman I have a view of her cervix from inside the womb (a little pink sphincter extending a bit inside from the wall) it's a large industrial setting with lots of scaffolding and things moving around on assembly lines, not fleshy. I think the woman's been tricked and doesn't realize that the physician's attendant put his on penis into her and is having sex with her, instead of her getting the artificial insemination procedure she wanted. I look at her cervix and see a penis tip poke through, and then streams of artificial insemination semen shoot out into her, not from the penis, but from a tube on the side.

. This is an artificial insemination procedure. Afterwards, a female attendant leads the woman through a hallway under a series of round lights/indicators, the attendant is shining a flashlight/tool up at t he indicators, and they're lighting up in response (showing the pathway to the waiting room?) as they walk by. In the waiting room there is a buffet of wine, and there are physicians there, a group of them. The woman says she hopes for twins, and the physicians berate her for this wish. The indicator lights (are numbered?) and seem to indicate which of the insemination procedures were successful. The attendant says they do a lot of procedures so at least one will work, I imagine a tool repeatedly entering the patient making a "deposit." The attendant is the woman's advocate, and then a male advocate arrives as well, he's a young man with blonde hair, very energetic. Leaving the waiting room I see the bottle of wine up close, the label has been partially scratched off. They move to another room and sit and I think about these two advocates for the patient.

+(f) some NSFW time with a "male toy".

Spoiler for NSFW:

Is is in the shape of a female mouth with a tongue extending down, the tongue looks like a ladybug: circular with black spots on it, I rub my (ahem) on this "tongue". Later the part hanging down seems to be a woman's hand with fingers.

+ suicide bomber gas truck/driver in the garage of my childhood home, it's night outside. The driver is standing outside the driver window against the wall of the garage and I'm in the middle of the garage looking in the passenger side window of the cab of the truck, (I'm holding a shotgun pointed at the window?), the guy has left out his final meal of fast food, there are lots of styrofoam take-out containers sitting open with chicken strips, fries, and lots of bright sticky/sweet sauces. I eat some of his fries, dipping them into one of the sauces. Someone up on the street distracts him and the truck is pulled back out to the street above the house. He intends to drive the truck into the house to blow it up, I think what if there is no spark/explosion and the house just gets broken from the truck driving into it, will he be satisfied?

+ Our family is in a waiting room in an institution with a lot of other people. We're meeting/helping out our foster/adopted daughter. The authorities announce that only one member from each group may enter, so my wife goes in. After some time people are milling around and everybody goes in, I go in too. I see our "daughter" come out, she is a late teen with very pale white skin (not sickly, just no sun, like a redhead can be), she is wearing a wide-brimmed hat, she's walking from my left to my right. I lean over and under her brim to give her a fatherly kiss on the cheek, but because of the hat I get her on the lips instead, we're both a bit embarrassed.

+ Sitting in a room with Aimee Teegarden (:heart: :heart, I'm preparing to go to the dance, I'm father-aged and she's a teen (not my daughter though), she says she's sick so won't go to the dance. I'm bummed because I wanted a dance with her, I see her long, sexy legs. I ask her to take off one of my socks at least, I'm trying to get them off. She moves across the room and I see her enter a deep sexy kiss with my son, no way can we leave those two alone, I know where that's leading to. She's behaving a bit loopy and I see her pouring something from a little (buiding-shaped) piggy bank into her drink. I think it's alcohol or drugs.

+ The secretary wants to hire the applicant (who is dark skinned and has a massive bust) immediately, and jumps for joy saying "I get to play with boobies!" and shows the applicant the work salad bar on the other side of the large table from me, with another coworker

+(f) I'm taking pictures of a guy the tablet is not behaving correctly, I see the pictures of this guy in a few different places

+ In school sitting down at open desk, my desk is taken, I think if someone tells me I took their desk I'll say mine was already taken. FF comes and sits down in the column of desks next to me, and it looks like he's going to sneeze on me, I say "I can not get sick!" and hold up my elbow/arm in front of his face to block the sneeze. We need to open our books to a particular story for reading but I can't find the story in my book which turns into a pile of little books.

+ We're shooting photon torpedoes at the enemy ship, 3 groups of tree, each group hits, I see the blue shining torpedoes fly straight and pass through the hull of the enemy ship (no explosion), the enemy ship starts to sink, we're walking through hallways preparing for battle, we realize we don't know anything about the enemies, we've never encountered their race before (little green men), we must build up our weapons and resources before the enemies arrive here on this planet. I see some rifles lying around they're old-time looking made from lots of wood. I'm setting up a revolver, I'm going to construct a candle and light it on the hammer so that when it hits the pin the flame will ignite the bullet and fire it, I look for approval for this idea. I reach in to extinguish the wick which leads into the cylinder I lick my fingers and pinch the fuse to extinguish it, but I see the flame has spread and now the whole gun is on fire. The emergency services has reached the enemy ship and is towing it now by us. The enemies taunt is as they drive by in a jeep, our captain says he's been preparing for this meeting (for a week?) and is ready. They drive over some of our supplies.

Where was this recall when I needed it in the competition?

This morning I visited the doctor to get some blood taken. During the drawing process, I lost consciousness. The time in between was basically lost--I do not have any real solid feeling of "being" anywhere, except some flitting images or colors that my mind was attempting to process. I couldn't even really claim to have had a "self" at this point--basically just a feeling of confusion and bewilderment. In retrospect, I imagine this is what animals must feel like at times, and it was highly . . . disconcerting.

As I began to come out of it, in darkness, I had the distinct feeling of being in both a sitting position and a lying position, and it became crucial to me to understand which of these my body was currently in. Once I was revived (eyes open and conscious) I still did not recognize any of the people there (my doctor and two nurses) or where I was until my doctor explained what had happened. I tried to explain my confusion: "I didn't know where I was!" My doctor very compassionately nodded, as though he understood. Maybe he did. Very unpleasant experience--basically fatigued for the rest of the day with a mild headache.

So here was what came to me: was what I experienced coming out of the state (or within the state? hard to say) an example of what death will "feel" like? If so, I can only say I expect it will be terrible--at least the dying part.

Dream 1 - 4:50AM

I'm inside a petrol station when someone steals. The store clerk (SC) hits the panic button which is next to me at the counter. I think the panic button locked doors from the inside or called police. The person gets out in time and enters a car which has a sanded down side door panel. The SC walks out into the back room. I wander around the shop and I start to feel as if I would be suspicious if caught walking around the shop by myself with no SC to be seen. I see the SC walk back into the room and try and make it as if I'm not up to no good, so I ask if the person got away. They did. I see the car drive passed station on the main road. I see someone behind the SC that I know. It's Pet Rediva. He asks me how to update a graphics card for a computer. I reply asking if it's an AMD card, which it was, and tell him to download a program called AMD auto-update. My cousin Phill who was next to be nods his head and agrees that it's the correct way. Phil looked like he was thinking of an option to download as I said it. I tell Pete that I you can there is generic brands which is linked to AMD, which can also be updated. Pete gives off the impression that he's confused.

More people are now in the petrol station and there's a long L shaped table which is about 10-15 metres long, with people sitting at it. I seem to be smoking, and see that MMA Legend Tito Ortiz is standing next to me at the counter. I don't think he likes the smell of cigarettes and I respect that and turn away from him towards the bin. I then move to the other side of the table where I see a chair under the table. A man is tapping his hand on it and I feel bad for taking it and think about giving it back to him.

I'm now at my house and it's night. Dad and I are outside and reversing car into garage. He's backing up on a different angle then he usually does and I think about getting out and helping him. I didn't want him to drive too dose to my gym or mess up the gym flooring.

Dream 2 - 8:50AM

I'm in a MMA cage and I see 2 MMA fighters, Uriah Faber playing around wrestling with Jon Jones.

Two Thai fighters are at each corners of the cage and ready to fight one another. There's an announcement of a new season of The Ultimate Fighter. The cast members of the season all walk into the cage. They all look around 5 foot tall and look of Thai descent. The fighters in the corner are in the new season also. One of them is upset when he figures out who's going to be his coach. It's Tim Kennedy.

Dream Fragment:

Dad says something about knowing that his parking sucked due to seeing my dream diary. I thought it was fascinating that he changed what he was going to due to my dream entry. (Think this another dream linked to first dream when Dad was reversing the car)

Side Notes:

Woke up at 4:45AM and couldn't get to sleep for some time. Practiced the SSILD technique for the hell of it.