side notes

I am traveling with my mother, my sister and her child, and possibly someone else to see Jon Anderson and Todmobile in concert. We arrive at this place that does not seem at all like any sort of proper concert hall. It seems more like a small entry way with windows behind us. We are right in front and are able to interact with the performers. Todmobile is playing some sort of impossible instrument. It’s rather difficult to describe. It has a spongy, fluid texture, and it moves downward like a spiral staircase. I think I remember playing it like you would a vibraphone, but it was huge and in constant motion. Colors changed on its surface, and I remember enjoying the sound it produced. Our cousins are also at this performance, as is my uncle. I know there was so much more to this dream, but that is all I can remember.

For the last two nights, I had been attempting to recreate the circumstances which enabled my initial “one that I’ve been waiting for” dream. So this involves taking NyQuil and Ibuprofen, and I also downed apple juice in hopes of greater vividness. It has not produced similar results. I know I’ve been dreaming, but they have in no way been nearly as profound or memorable as that first one. It seems to me a typical case of trying to reproduce something amazing that occurred without any effort or preconceptions. I’ve even been listening to the same album I did that first night. But I admit, this has been a rather foolish endeavor. The feelings and symbols I experienced in that first dream I cannot hope to experience again by means of forcing it to happen. It happened somewhat naturally, it seems. I can only wait for the next time.

I'm a spectator in this dream. First a man comes into a restaurant and is acting weird. He must give a message to someone but he is uncertain of what to do or who to give the message to. The chef comes out and gives him something. He goes to his next stop & is in line w/ others like himself who are basically being blackmailed into doing things or risk dying. It seems to be on a grand scale. There are now big places being held by ppl doing unspeakable things. It was very gory and gross. Then it turns into a mass brain washing event & ppl are't realizing that they are indebted to some unknown evil. Cops are even killing ppl. People are wearing pig heads, like from real pigs. Gross. The people are going mad in the head. Some are eating large amounts of feces. I want to puke. It's like if you spread out some intestines but it was all poop. Finally a flood starts to come. It looks like the population is being cleansed. Then Meesha woke me up.

I've had stomach problems due to being sick yesterday so maybe that was the weird poop thing. I'm not sure if there is a meaning here or if it's due to fever & med dreams. I have been paying attention lately to how ppl treat each other now a days & how our earth is being ruined. I find it all so sad. On a side note I just realized I've been so busy that I haven't even looked at the TOTM so I'm going to do that next. I still don't feel well today but I'm doing better. I think I just need a lot of sleep.

I just got up briefly. I've been pretty sick today. I haven't even talked to my husband except on the phone. He's already in bed asleep. I had just got back to sleep a little while before he got here. So weird.

Anyway, back to my dream. NON-LUCID: I was w/ this guy & the first place we were was on a boat. He was trying to track down a murderer & he needed my help. We were finding clues & the murderer was posting online which is where some were coming from at first. Then we were in a house & the guy was starting to catch on to us so we had to come up w/ a new plan. Suddenly it was just like a movie because things went really fast. The bad guy was killing ppl & we were trying to get to him but he was making it look like we had something to do w/ it. We were constantly trying to stay out of jail & track him down too. There was lots of blood. That's the best I can remember.

first off im new, HELLO everyone. found this site using google wondering why i cant sleep without music.

anyway, i have the craziest lucid dreams. sometimes i wake up talking to myself, crying, laughing or felt like ive never been to sleep... just my mind racing but pretty much mentally exhausted just like ive been watching the most intense awesome movie ever. no lie

so my favorite dreams is when i time travel. its nothing like any Si-Fi movie, there's no fuckin robots or aliens.. (which would be cool actually) i just happen to fall asleep into a situation either that happened in the past or i make a new one with familiar faces and walk into a different time period thru a portal/walk way or just something triggers it and at times just a blink of a eye but i never really understood the familiar faces, ill talk to whoever that person is more in my dream then in reality which is crazy to me.

so im glad i found this website, i honestly believe my dreams can be turned into tv series or just cult movies... so im excited to share some adventures

Im getting ready for bed now, im sure as hell gonna be lucid dreaming. so stay in touch with me, to read my post. im not here to lie, play games or lead anybody on. feels good to share my dreams for once, cant wait to write you in the morning of what happens.


so for now. have a awesome dream.

I was visiting a friend which I haven't seen in a long time. The dream was odd in the respect that I couldn't figure out how old we were supposed to be in the beginning. I was in the town she lives in which is only 10 minutes from me IRL but I haven't seen her IRL for years either. Anyway, we are at a local plae where we are hanging out & talking but then we go to a school. There is going to be a ballgame somewhere & she's either attending the school or there in some other capacity. For some reason ppl are being paired by her to sit together & be some kind of pep squad for the school. I was wondering to myself in the dream if she would pick me which I found odd that I just suddenly was noticing what I was thinking on a really strange level. She did pick me & a girl beside her looked taken aback by this. We go on the bus & are at the bleachers of the game. The girl is there & so is my friend & I become all full on lucid & look at her & say to the girl "Rindi & I all grown up, we have kids & grandkids of our own. And Josh is in his 5th yr of college" I just staretd laughing & woke up.

Schools are one of my dream signs.

So feeling stuck! havent LD'd since 3 weeks ago and it was another month before that. So frustrating! I'm beginning to realize LD craves a certain amount of energy both physical and mental. I have had a cold for almost a month with a constant slight fever, not high but enough to make me tired and lethargic. feels I don't have the energy to focus on LD right now. really don't know what else to do than wait until I feel better and start over again with the exercises. Anyway I tried something new that Oneironautics gave me a link to. It's called Isobeats, a mix with both binarual beats and isocronic tones. I listened to a few of them and I really like them! Actually they had an offer of only one dollar each and I bought them all!
Hope I feel better next week. I really wanna try the task of the month.

I have honestly done an atrocious job of keeping up the meditation and bedtime routine I set for myself, but last night still afforded me a lot of lucidity. The last time I did meditate, (was a very long meditation, three or four days ago now.) I was meditating on the idea of dream control. (Though the meditation was mostly focused on matter in waking life.)

I got the idea that dream control could potentially be executed in a sort of three-pronged approach. Where one would use a verbal command, a body motion and an expectation. This gives you three different mediums in which your dream control has influence so even if one of or two of them is undermined in some way, your dream control still has a chance of working, and when all three of them work in tandem, your control becomes very precise and powerful.

In fact, I've already had the opportunity to practice some of this control, but both of the dreams devolved into sexual fantasies rather quickly, hence the reason I didn't post earlier.

The dream started off nonlucidly. I am playing Basketball with a group of kids in what feels like my high school gymnasium. The dream's interpretation Gymnasium is very barren, however. Most of the exits, the folded up bleachers and the banners on the walls and plaques are absent. The game is five verses five and we are losing. Jack is on the opposing team, and my crush from high school is on my team.

At some point I sit down on the court. I have two right legs that are rather small, feminine and thin, and a large, muscular, left leg and am having complications taking my shoes and socks on and off and getting them on the correct feet. One of my teammates yells at me and tells me to get back into the game. I end up with one of the smaller legs being barefoot and having to focus constantly on keeping it bent upwards so that I can run lopsidedly with the remaining two legs.

Someone tells me to play the "Wizard's Center Position" and I have no idea what they mean. I just kind of stand in the middle of the court as the rest of the game plays out. Nobody else seems to be yelling at me so I must have done it right.

Somehow or other I manage to get rid of the third leg and even out the two remaining legs. The basketball game ends in a draw after I jump into the air and find myself unable to come back under the influence of gravity. I float over to the corner of the gymnasium as another game starts with someone else taking my place on the team. There are a group of parents and two other children. These children are explained to be 'Specials', because they have special powers. There is a young oriental girl who's left eye is a milky middle gray and she can see the future with that eye.

There is also an older boy (late high school) who can ignite his body hair and is immune to his own flames. Rather humorously, upon demonstrating his power, he not only ignited the hair on his head, his developing stubble and armpit hair, but his pubic hair, burning a hole in his pants and showing his "glory" to the world. Apparently they suspect me being a Special because I am out of the influence of gravity.

I suddenly realize that it is because I am dreaming. Though I was already hovering, I turn my fire jets on and fly upwards toward the metal rafters of the gym, weaving in and out of them. I find myself in my house, near the open patio. (There is a big glass wall here.) I try to open the door but it is stuck. I try to phase through the glass but just end up breaking it. The sensation of the glass breaking is unusual, I feel the bits hitting me but their sharpness is seemingly deflected by a shield I have around my own body.

I rocket off the back patio and immediately find myself tumbling through darkness and gasping for breath. I try to refocus, to see something that I can anchor the dream and ensure that I do not lose it. Stars become visible, I am in deep space, and tumbling around uncontrollably. I manage to stop myself spinning and see the crescent of a planet or moon nearby. I look at the destination and attempt to rocket closer. Nothing happens. I decide to make use of voice commands.

"Fly!"

Nothing.

"Accelerate!"

Nothing.

"I am a rocket ship!"

Nothing.

"GOD F**KING DAMMIT MOVE!"

I half expect this to happen because it's happened before but I get jerked forward at an absurd speed and smack into the moon with such speed and force the entire moon disintegrates into molten slag and mountain-sized boulders. Turns out that planetary body I saw was the earth's moon.

The dream gets narrated by Marcus explaining that the moon's destruction radically altered the earth's climate, creating a ring of debris around the earth. There is a (rather humorous considering the implications) visualization of several large asteroid hitting the earth near Australia and India. Marcus says "Lighting might never strike the same place twice, but Six pieces of the moon hit the same spot in Australia, what do you make of that, hmm? It will take a million years for the earth to recover from such a travesty."

"Regenerate!"

I am outside the derelict facade of a grocery store in my town. Looks long abandoned and there are jungle trees growing out of holes in the roof and parking lot. The dream has suddenly taken on an absurd amount of atmosphere. It is raining and the dream is very realistic. I feel as though the implications of my brash dream control are being rubbed in my face by my subconscious, but I don't mind. Looking in the sky, through a hole in the raincloud, I see the ring of debris and shattered crescent of the moon. I know I should feel bad but this world I have entered is so intriguing.

I have no body. I look down and see that I am a tiny "marble". It looked more like a miniature sun the size of a marble floating six or so feet above the pavement. I got to look at it very closely in swooping motions that pass over the surface, showing the detail. It does look like a star, with miniature solar flares and sunspots and everything. The star contorts and limbs stretch from it and with a sudden "pop" I'm back into my dream-body. My feet splash into a muddy puddle by the root of a large mangrove tree.

The first thing I notice is that I have regenerated nude. But I feel much more confident in my ability to control the dream now. Time to try out some more commands.

"Vestimente"

Sweeping gray robes hug me from behind and pass around my body, hugging it tightly. I was hoping for clothing with more pzazz but this will do. It's setting a positive trend for this control.

"Semper Stabelem"

I clap my hands together and then grab two of the tree roots. A shock-wave goes out, rustling the leaves and disrupting the rain momentarily into a mist. When it clears, the visuals remain the same, but I get more sound information from the dream. I can hear the rain falling now and hear a frog croaking. I decide to go inside the derelict supermarket.

Inside I am immediately ambushed by these both horridly disgusting and intriguing mutated cyborg plant zombies. They all have several rows of sharp wooden teeth and seem to be made of knotted bark and wood. They have some kind of breathing tubes and a chestpeice with a grid of square blinking lights as well. Reacting quickly I resort to a dragonborn shout.

"Fus RoDah!"

This seems largely ineffective. For some reason the effect it has on the zombies is to turn them passive rather than blast them away. I make a note of the effect using 'gibberish' commands seems to have randomized effects though it's hardly scientific experimentation, given that I only used one command.

I decide to exit through the back wall of the supermarket. I know I can't phase through. I decide to simply destroy the wall. Though I never meditated on a command for this so I have to make one up on the fly. I raise my hand to the wall to better indicate my target and visualize the wall breaking.

"Crumblem"

Nothing.

"Crumblem Maximum"

Still no effect. I try to go with it and figure that maybe the spell weakened the wall. I run and jump into the air and sort of kick the wall with both legs, going straight through it. The dream shows in slow motion the wall disintegrating in extremely vivid detail. I could count several dozen bricks all breaking from their positions and accurately following the laws of physics as a broke through the wall.

I was now in some kind of meadow or park. It seemed as though we had abandoned the post - apocalyptic earth scenario now. I spot Manei and decide to interact with her but as soon as she sees me she giggles starts running away. She hasn't done this in years, but she used to do it all the time when I was just starting out, and it has always been very annoying. She never offers any explanation why and refuses to stop when I tell her.

I run after her, but I pull my fire jets from my hands to increase my speed. We transition back to the overgrown abandoned jungle world and we are in my neighborhood. She sees I'm gaining on her quickly and telekenetically bends some vines and branches to block my path. As they lower, I slide underneath them just before her barrier can reach ground level. Somehow she covers a lot of ground, and runs through an overgrown frame of a house. I would follow but things are collapsing in my path.

I start getting frustrated. In my first year or so of LD I wasted countless dreams chasing after her like it was some stupid game, mostly because I needed help getting even rudimentary control to work, that or dreams would turn up empty with her being the only other character, and if I didn't chase her down, I'd be left alone without dream control in a barren world. I figured this had long since been absolved. I quickly invented another command on the fly.

"Acrobatos"

I then jumped and in one leap cleared the entire house. While in the air I was able to preform various flips and twirls. I landed and she was still ahead of me but losing ground. I ran after her but she made to run through a burnt out, rusted, moss covered bus, throwing up more obstacles, this time a number of small quicksand pools. I leaped over that as well. It still seemed like she was getting away, so before I landed.

"Coherte Bombad"

I threw out a small fire missile, aiming in front of where she was going to be. This surprised her enough and made her stumble over onto a patch of moss and ferns. I landed in front of her.

"I always hated it when you did that - Still hate it."

She got up, but gave me this defeated sideways glance and almost humorous look, like somebody who had just been beaten at their favorite game. She then proceeded to explain to me that I would have to wait for the next dream to talk to her, but I cannot remember what her reasoning was. (Though I think her clothes had gotten covered with mud when I tripped her and now she needed to get them cleaned, or that was atleast part of it.) Whatever it was I took it as reasonable and understood if we couldn't talk now, but wasn't quite ready to forgive her for running off like that and thought that it would only be fair if she stayed for the rest of this dream. But she had to go.

The remainder of the dream was me in another park or playground like area. I was impressing some random dream characters with the "Acrobatos" command, preforming impossible jumps and gymnastics, and leaping over trees and playground equipment. I was thinking I wanted to try some new ones I came up with, like possibly an animal transformation or sex change, or if I was feeling brave, make another attempt at teleportation. The dream destabilized and ended with me shouting "Semper Stabelem" over and over while tearing up handfuls of grass.

-WBTB-

I somehow managed reentry right into a lucid. I was with Manei once more. We were on the wall of a large castle. (Not a proper fortification castle, more like a magical fairy tale Disney castle.) I knew there was no reason to try and pin the running away thing, better to just forget that ever happened and not let the mental schema of it squirm back into my mind at all.

I had fallen asleep with this troubling idea in my mind that lucid dreaming seemed to have lost its magic. When I started, I was so motivated to LD and it seemed so cool and mysterious and now the happenings of lucid dreams surprise me less and less as I've gotten more familiar with it. I'd foreseen this problem for some time, starting around when the fantasy of having kids and a dream family was a big thing with her. It was then that I realized that my dreams are sort of becoming too anchored to themes and ideas that are already there and not leaving enough new avenues of exploration open. (It's honestly in a similar vein as that post by Spellbee2 about mundane dream environments becoming annoying.)

But funnily enough I was able to drop this idea pretty quickly when I considered the previous lucid dream. Manei went ahead without my prompting and explained that was why she ran away in the previous dream. Sure in one way it was a very stale, pointless and frustrating schema from a long time ago, but there was a new twist; I had caught up to her. But she agreed with me that maybe it wasn't the best choice to make in the end, recalling how early on our relationship wasn't that good as a whole, and modern references to that should probably be avoided. She still kind of seemed in a daze and mumbled something back to me but was obviously distracted.

I replied by saying that I still feel like I've lost something over the years, some kind of "magic" to lucid dreaming. Though she grossly misinterpreted what I meant by "the 'magic' in lucid dreaming." and dissolved her clothing.

I decided to excuse myself at once saying that I had to wake up and go to the toilet. My lucidity level dropped significantly remainder of this dream but it involved me semi lucidly passing about three dozen large amethyst crystal balls and managing to clog the toilet of one of the bathrooms of the castle. Manei came in (still naked) to see what the problem was and saw what was in the toilet. When she saw it she pinched her nose and reeled back like there was a bad smell.

"Gross! What did you eat?"

The dream faded out with her trying to unclog the toilet with an oversized conjuring of her malachite sword and me trying to sneak up behind her with "vestimente Manei" and get some clothes on her.

I had one dream before this but I didn't log it because my journal was moved accidentally. But then I awoke from this dream. I was in a body painting contest that felt like it went on forever. I had as much skill as I do in real life which is none yet I was in this contest. The category was camouflage. The backdrop was an ocean & we were to paint our models so that they blended into a moving ocean while laying partly on the wet part of the beach where it meets the water & they had to also be partly in the very clear water. Another contestant kept sabotaging me by by moving my things & replacing them w/ things that couldn't possibly work. The last straw was that when you do body painting the women have nude colored patches that cover there areolas & genitals. But I was only giving this weird big patch of black faux hair to cover her genitals. It was insane & I knew I could not make this work. This dream seemed to go on forever so when I got to this point in the dream & realized I was in a dream, I just woke up out of frustration.

Dreams were forgotten when I was woke up this morning by stabbing pains in my kidneys. They still hurt. I don't know if I have kidney stones or an infection or if all of these yrs of meds are catching up to me. I had a couple of sharp pains last week & have been drinking a lot of cran-grape to flush them but I wonder if even that is good or bad. Mike & I were talking about how he had his blood drawn a couple of months ago & that maybe they should do mine on my next visit. I think he's right.

My strategy for this month is simply using autosuggestion-telling myself what I want to dream about and then going to sleep. My strategy for dream control is making commands for what I want to happen. Lazy month! I'll keep track of how I do here:
1-0 LD
2-0 LD
3-1 LD (Caught FA)
4-1 LD (DILD)
5-0 LD
6-1 LD (DILD)
7-0 LD
8-0 LD
9-0 LD
10-2 LD (2 DILDs)
11-3 LD (2 Caught FA, DILD)
12-1 LD (DILD)
13-0 LD
14-1 LD (Caught FA)
15-0 LD
16-1 LD (Caught FA)
17-1 LD (Caught FA)
18-1 LD (WILD)
19-1 LD (WILD)
20-1 LD (DILD)
21-0 LD
22-1 LD (Caught FA)
23-2 LDs (2 DEILDs)
24-1 LD (DEILD)
25-2 LDs (DILD, DEILD)
26-2 LDs (2 DEILDs)
27-3 LDs (Caught FA, DILD, DEILD)
28-1 LD (DILD)
29-0 LD
30-1 LD (DILD)
31-0 LD

I was in a police station & apparently worked there. I had just came in for my shift & some bossy bitch was trying to tell me what to do. I told her that she wasn't my boss & that she could go fuck herself. I can't deal w/ ppl who think they can just do what they want & treat ppl like shit. The room was trashed & it wasn't even my job to clean it. That woman just made me crazy mad, lol. Just a weird little dream but at least it was something because my new meds didn't even allow me to remember any kind of dreams at all yesterday. I pulled back my dosage which was already less most ppl can tolerate. My tummy doesn't do well w/ meds & I have to take nausea meds w/ any pain meds.

On heavy pain meds so not even a hint of any dreams at all. I don't like feeling like this. I feel foggy & fidgety & stoned in a very bad way but I can only lower the doses until I can get down the inflammation & pain to a level to switch to a different set of less fuzzy meds. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to until you get some relief when you have lifelong medical issues. I'll just keep praying.

Great vivid dreams but I didn't log them. I was in crazy sciatic pain to the point I had to go to my doctor.

Had a lucid dream this morning. It was DILD but I lost lucidity somewhere down the line in the dream. Stabilization is a challenge that needs to be worked on but I am glad lucid dreams are happening frequently.

Just started HowToLucid.com 30-day bootcamp. Not shilling or anything, I just have been looking for a structured program to develop lucid-inducing habits. Success is a process, not an event.

I woke up early today and didn't recall anything.