All DJ Entries

Well me and the Jamie voice seemed to have calmed down regarding whatever it was we were having trouble with. That's good. I can't believe it's been over a year already.

Jamie

Just a dream that she was following me in her car.

Note: I hardly left my house. Just a couple times to get coffee. Maybe had a drive by... Black SUV, dark hair and sunglasses, but I couldn't really see. The voice didn't say anything about it.


Jesus

Just a flash of Jesus watching me and Jamie. Or maybe he was with us? Can't remember the details.

I can't remember the other dreams I had. Something about being driven somewhere and arguing with my brother or something.

Had a panic moment when DV wasn't loading for a bit...

Jamie 1

Not pg 13... Me and Jamie were watching porn.... Jamie excitely pointed at the screen at something I won't mention.


Oh well. Weather we are being good or getting into trouble as long as "we're together".

Jamie 2

I'm not in the dream. Jamie is with some woman. They are... I won't mention. But jamie abruptly cuts the woman off and leaves quickly and angrily. I think the voice was telling me something like this.

Other random dreams I can't seem to recall much. One was work related. I was working with a ladder but the ladder went away? not sure.

I was hoping the more affectionate dreams can come back. Like hugging, hand holding, and kissing.

BTW everyone is working out of town but me until next week. If Jamie wants to do one of her drive by stuff on me... or even talk to me. These next few days are a great time. I'll be watching!!!

Let's try to be good from now on.

As if in response to my last entry, there was a couple nights I had a tough time talking to the voice. Her voice admitted to being distant and apologized. Lately we've both seemed to be mentally entertaining similar vices we have. Not physically at least, and I won't say what. Her voice asked for privacy in the matter. But last night we both seemed to agree that said vices threatens to keep us apart, and we are both addicted to the security of coming back together after mentally dipping our toes in danger.It's kind of like the couple that breaks up all the time to have make up sex. But it's not specifically that. Maybe it's a borderline thing, I dunno. I just hope IRL we can find better ways to keep the relationship exciting and safe. Having a stable relationship can be boring sometimes, but it's better for people like us in the long run

Dreams:

Fire

There was a tiny demon in Jamie's room laughing and setting fire to her room.

Jamie


Quick flash of me being on a dock at night. Jamie was there with me staring at me.

Jamie 1

Just a flash of Jamie looking at me from somewhere. couldn't malke out much details. I had this flash while praying very tired.

Jamie 2

I was at a bar or something. Jamie was working there. My home animals were there. I was petting a black cat who seemed larger than normal. My dog was also there. Jamie was behind a bar working away, she didn't mind that I was there.

???

Some guy I barely know A, was looking at me strangely from an above place. Like he was watching me go through my current dream.

Jamie 3

I was in a bedroom with Jamie. There was no light on. There were a bunch of boxes or something. We were moving them out of the way.

Jamie 4

Just a flash of me and Jamie walking into a courthouse during the daytime.

I think the secret to more Jamie dreams is imagining I'm holding her in my be while I talk to her voice. We both seem to enjoy imagining a few different scenarios. and there still is a sensation, like we are both doing so with some spirit body???

Weather is finally decent. Maybe Jamie will start her drive bys again? I'll be watching.

Jamie

Jamie hands me a bagel and cream cheese.

Actually, I remember getting that with her through a drive thru once.

WTF

Longer dream that I can't recall. Only part I remember is that me and my dad were watching something on a computer monitor. One of those curved ones. There were ghastly women who were naked... but they were half dead. They were showing really gross things on the screen. Vibe was: creepy, scary, disturbing.

Not much else to report....

Been trying melatonin chewables.... they taste good but not helping much.

Jamie

Only dream I seem to recall with Jamie in it. I was starting work at a new factory or warehouse job or something. Jamie was there, also a new hire. We are on lunch break or something. I'm at a table and I look at another table and see Jamie is sitting with some woman. The woman turns her head right around to look my way and turns back after a second. They were talking about me?

After work I'm following Jamioe home. We are walking. I go up a street on a hill to not be so obvious. (IRL I would never stalk anyone.) The streets look like the ones on GTA5 (Been grinding that game online, taking a break from Cringenight). After that my memory fades.

I have a conversation about the dream with Her voice. She said that she was telling the woman in the dream that I'm her boyfriend.

What?

I was hanging around a guy I used to hang around with... Another J. he said him and his family were moving to texas or something.

That's all. I hope I have more Jamie dreams.

Well, I keep going to bed late and having a long time to fall asleep. I keep waking up for the washroom but somehow managed to have a couple dreams.

Jamie

Just a dream with Jamie in it. I can't recall what. Just that she was good and being affectionate. Can't complain

This in conjunction with the other morning we both seemed to sense one another strongly. It was really nice. seemed to talk all morning.

oops

A dream about the other co worker in cochrane. He was crying and seemed upset that I didn't want to work with them anymore.

Complicated situation: If they want to deduct pay based on food and sleeping for 6 nights at their place, they should have mentioned that beforehand and not wait until payday. Next asshole that pulls that on me I'll call the labor board or a small claims court.

Might have had a slight lucid. but it didn't last long.

Jamie

She had some food for me or something. This is the only Jamie dream I had...

Semi Lucid

I was outside some weird apartment/townhouse area. I was outside between them. It was night. There was a bunch of people terrified. I looked around. There were wolves sniffing blankets where people were sleeping. It didn't feel real. I said to everyone, "Don't worry, It's just a dream." The wolves were friendly and moved on. Can't remember what happened after this.

At least Jamie dreams are consistent!!!

Not much lately. Another lonely Valentines day. Kind of sad that that I have someone I could spend it with, but for whatever reason. We're not on speaking terms.In dreams and voices she's very re assuring. I seriously wonder sometimes if I'm schitzophrenic. Maybe I only think I see Jamie driving by, or people that look like her. but they all seem connected. The dreams, The voice, The drive bys. On this the jamie voice says she still feels really bad about how she treated me in the past. I'm always re assuring that I'm ready to hear her out, listen, and forgive.

And my drunken co worker friend decided to rip me off. and extra charge for food and accomidation. well, that wasn't discussed at all vefore or during the time I worked with him. And after all his verbal abuse. I let all my BPD rage out on him in some texts. Me personally, I would never rip a friend off or make them feel unsafe hanging with me. This si one bridge I hope to have burned behind me. I don't think he'll be asking for my help again. I mean friggin Mcdonald's and Wal-Mart keep are more Keep more honest books on what they owe their employees (Just make sure you have all your own copies of hourly records including helping other stores. leaving certain managers extra emails and texts any extra hours)

Oh wait. this is a dream blog.

Jamie 1

I was in the Labrynth place again. Jamie was chasing some guy along a landing who was wearing a football helmet and jersey. I called after her but she chased the guy through a door.

*I did ask Raven to help with the dreams*

Jamie 2

I was with Jamie in a busy street or in a mall. someone familiar was by a window. Me and Jamie stopped to talk to her. It was Raven. We asked her if Raven would officiate our wedding. Raven said yes. (I don't think either of us were lucid.)

Raven wrote back and logged a dream where she was by a video game store and then ran into a couple. She wasn't sure if it was me or Jamie or not. but she tried to change the dream to find us, but was unable. Probably because were already there. She didn't recall any converstation about anyone getting married though.

Jamie

A flash of Jamie taking me to a bedroom. She said I could sleep there and that it was a safe place to sleep. (Seems to be in response to a few nights ago, my toxic family started yelling late at night. This after last week not sleeping after my drunken co worker decided to use me as his verbal punching bag right before bed) I must say thanks.

Creepy realm

Long and semi vivid dream in places. I was in a very strange place. Jamie was with me sometimes, and sometimes not. You'd enter a room, turn a corner etc, and the scene would completely change. Every scene and room gave an eerie vibe. One room had disabled people with grossly mis-shaped heads. I had a slight urge to kill everyone in the room in frustration for getting lost. I back tracked only to wind up in stranger places.

At one point I seemed to be outside and came across some clouds on a dark street. The place looked bright, like some people imagine heaven. There were small children or people there. I asked them if it was heaven. They said it was until the Angels abandoned them. I briefly remembered I once watched the entirety of "supernatural" There was a heaven in that show, but god had abandoned the angels. I wondered if this dream was connected to that show somehow. The people said they were cold and to light a fire. All I saw was incense sticks. so I lit them. I said it wasn't quite a fire. They said that this was the hottest fire to them. I was like: I can build you a real fire. I had some fire wood somehow and some kindling. I went to search for some rocks to make a pit with. I was on a street looking for some rock gardens or something. I wound up by this temple made of hardened mud. I began taking the mud from there, but the little people said I was violating a most sacred holy place. They chased to attack me but I ran around a corner and...

Was in a strange hallway. I turned another corner into a room and some people in the shadows of the room were staring at me funny. I back tracked and was somewhere else. I was in some lobby area with lots of people standing around. I asked them how to leave this strange place. Someone knowingly chuckled and said that they wouldn't help me.

Later I was with Jamie by a river with someone else. We both were trying to figure out how to leave this strange place.

woke up. The Jamie voice was saying she was having nightmares or something. Back to sleep.

Jamie 2

I was in another creepy place that looked like the Esther staircase area in the labrynth movie. I saw Jamie running on a landing. I called out to her, but she turned into a room. she seemed to be running from something or desperately trying to leave the strange dream realm.

Just relaxing at home these days. Can't believe I Re watched all of "Dexter." over the last two months...

Jamie 1

Just an audio dream of Jamie calling me her Boyfriend again. (Yes I asked the voice to re affirm that to me in the dreams. I need a lot of reassurance okay.)

Dexter

Can't recall many details I was around the woman played by the Buffy actress. That's all.

Jamie 2

Jamie dropped our baby or something. She was inconsolable of course but I did my best to comfort her.

Jamie 3

I was doing something at a table. Jamie was beside me and was copying exactly what I was doing. I noticed her keep looking over. Yep, that's a borderline thing. Maybe if she believes in Jesus she can get more of a stable identity from him? Might work.

Well, Looks like my 2-3 week working vacation was cut short. Pretty sure i might have passed Jamie on the way back (At least that's what the voice says)

Anyway a couple days before I left. My working friend got drunk and had some really nasty words for me out of the blue. It sent me reeling all night. Might have gotten one hour of sleep. The whole time I seemed to be talking to the Jamie voice. She listened to my issues with what happened with my friend. Seemed to validate whatever I was feeling and thinking. Very supportive. early in the morning, I started seeing beings in the shadows. I heard my friend talking in the room when he wasn't there. At one point The way the window light was on a wall behind a half wall, I saw pulsating green light. As if something or someone was behind the half wall. I told the Jamie voice what I was seeing somewhat. Sh said, "You're having BPD hallucinations. I see things like that when I'm having an episode." I did a quick prayer about demons of hallucinations or whatever and the green pulsating light went away. I managed to sleep an hour but no dreams. Those are the kinds of things I use to see as a child. I remember lightly pressing on my eyeballs to make more hallucinations when I was a kid as well I confronted my friend about his behavior in the morning, and he managed to convince me to work another day. He promised not to drink that night and that he would be more easy going. He was.

Jamie 1

Just an image of Jamie walking around somewhere.

Killer

something about the main killer from the Dexter new blood series.

Jamie 2

Me and Jamie were in bed, I was holding her from behind. she took my arm over her side and put my hand, you know where...

Now that I'm back to my normal routine hopefully I'll have more longer and vivid dreams.

Not much recall at all.

Psycho

Disturbing dream. Some serial killer had a victim in a medical chair? There was a device above the head. The killer was operating the device, which cut right into the man's forehead, pulling a precise chunk of his brain out. The victim managed to say, "Pancake." In response. The killer put a glue like substance over the man's mouth to keep him from speaking. It was bluish and bubbly. My vision panned out revealing the killer to be a woman...

I woke up quite disturbed by this. The Jamie voice indicated that she had a scary dream as well. Was she the woman?

Jamie

Just a quick flash of a sex dream.

Driving

Just a flash of driving by Canmore.

I'm working temporarily away from my area. Family business slowed down, almost broke so my friend in Cochrane offered to have me work a few weeks. Jamie voice didn't seem happy that I have to move for a few weeks. Not sure what is going on with the dreams tho. Totally chaotic.

Dexter

I had a flash of Dexter standing in front of a mirror. He has a syringe needle and says to the mirror. " Robert, you are never going to do THAT again."

I guess when Jamie was under the influence of negative dream energy she sent Dexter after me.

Vague

Began with a flash of Dexter heading to a crime scene. I knew he was after me, so I hid at the Trinity Killer's house but the guy was crazy so I left.

Then I hid in the Fromville town and figured Dexter would have no way of competing with monsters that look human.

I think I ran into Jamie there. She seemed okay now. It was night time and we wanted to hide. Some people led us into a house. There was a cart or bed inside. We started hanging there. I asked the people of the house if they had a talisman on the door to keep the monsters out. The man pointed to the talisman hanging by the door and said, "It's okay they're our friends now." Me and Jamie flipped when the guy opened the door and the monster people came in. The cowboy hat guy came in. Instead of killing everyone he shook the townspeople's hands. They started talking like old friends.

I figured I should double back to Trinity's house to see if Dexter was stopped there.

Back at Trinity's, instead of trying to kill me, he happily invited me into his house to have dinner with his family. I thought it was odd. Jamie was long gone by now.

Dancing

I'm with Jamie at her house and we are slow dancing to an Elvis song that everyone and their mother's uncle has covered. My vision zooms out and Dexter sneaks around a corner. Only Jamie seems to notice him. She makes eye contact with him and shakes her head, calling him off. He nods and ducks back into the shadows.

Dexter again

I'm around him, still paranoid that he's going to go after me. He says, " Don't worry Buddy."

Jamie again

I'm saying to Jamie, " I don't know what you know about my situation."

I think the conversation is in reference to me having to go away for a few weeks.

What

A flash of Dexter making out with Jamie. And not his nanny of the same name.

Sex

I'm in a strange place. There's 2 rows of mannequin women. Just passed them is a woman. I get behind her and right away get to business. Not sure if this is Jamie or not.

Okay I can't really tell if Jamie is okay or not.

Jamie 1

A dream of me talking to Jamie. She ran away from me like I said something really mean. .

Cats

I was wandering around a house. I saw a box with a small white kitten in it. Weeks old maybe. I went to pet it. The kitten grew large and tried to play fight with my hand.

Later I saw another cat that lives in my real home. Inky, who always treats pets as a playfight. I saw him around a corner of a room. I went somewhere to a different house far away from where I was. I spotted Inky again.

Jamie 2

I was with my brother at a table. Jamie was there. I was writing down a grocery list. My writing was really messy, I couldn't get anything out properly. I made a comment on that. Jamie said, "Let me see." I was trying to draw a G, but it came out like a a strange handwritten H. I was embarrassed because I remember when she wrote her name down on a piece of paper irl, I remembered how perfect her writing form was. And me, I even had a school tutor when I was young, who made me practice the alphabet over and over again, and no matter how much I tried and practiced, I was always sloppy. Jamie always had great spelling and grammar as well. I have no Idea what a ; is, or how to use it. So I never use it.

Anyway my brother said something about writing, "bread" down with impatience. a minut later Jamie piped up and said, "Yes make sure you get the right kind of bread down." with more impatience. I nervously explained that I made sure I wrote the write thing down.

I thought it was odd, Her ganging up on me with my brother. Not taking my side... Well I'll say this: If her friends or family, or anyone else ganged up on her to make her feel bad - even if they are right. My Job is to take her side no matter what, I hope she sees me the same way.

I woke up and the voice apologized about the dream.

Jamie 3

I was in a living room with a bunch of random couches and TVs. Jamie was there, and several guys. some passed out on couches. I was tired so I laid down for a nap on the end of one. Some guy made a comment about me sleeping there so I got up and sat down at a chair. I was watching a show or something about the black widow from the MCU or something. I found it boring. So I got up and left the room for some reason. I came back. Jamie was there sitting on a couch staring blankly ahead, with some younger guy beside her who was shirtless. He was trying to put his arm around her. I gave her a dirty look but then ignored the situation. now the guy had changed to having his shirt on. But her still was getting a little too friendly. Jamie was still trying hard to pretend I wasn't there. I looked around and found the room in a different order. I was a little puzzled at that. I saw one of the TVs had star trek on or something. I went to watch it when I woke up.

When I woke up, Her voice was apologizing again. She said she didn't know why she was acting that way.