I had a dream where I was suddenly running home from school like usual and at first I just thought I wasn't dreaming out of nowhere then I suddenly realized I was dreaming but I didn't let the awareness hit me yet then I let the awareness sink in and said a second time I was dreaming then I randomly helded on to this random girl who had red and black strips on her clothes and I felt her body then I woke up in a false awakening and saw a video on Youtube Shorts saying Kurumi sacrifice vs Sukuna but I was kinda semi lucid in the false awakening because I tried to use dream control to make Kurumi give me a handjob but I woke up for real this time.
It's night, and I'm in a bed, but besides that I'm not certain where I am. I'm in bed with Isata, an ex-coworker and maybe still-friend; in the past she's told me that she feels comfortable being open with me and putting her trust in me, and perhaps that's why in the dream we're sharing a bed (and a lack of clothes), having a - very slightly - flirtatious conversation and are playfully touching before cuddling to go to sleep - I don't receive from the dream the impression that we're anything more than just friends. She needs to do something - I was- and am- not certain what - and whilst I'm still in the bed she kneel/walks on top of it, deliberately pausing when her legs are apart above me and her crotch is close to my mouth; in spite of that, she's surprised and angry when I try to begin to perform oral sex on her. Things abruptly change - it's still night, but now I'm standing in the dining room at my grandmother's house; I'm still naked - and now in a state of arousal - but I don't seem to be perturbed by either of those things. Whilst it's still night, my grandmother's house is partly on a heavily-trafficked road, so there's sufficient second-hand artificial light to see almost every detail in the room, and my mother - who also doesn't seem to be perturbed by my nakedness or state of arousal - points out that there's a wasp clinging to the net curtain; I try to kill it by crushing it with a scrunched-up tissue and a jam jar or the lid of a jam jar, but it flies away, and I'm not able to see where. I awake with a start, my heart pounding, not because of a fear of the wasp, but because of Isata's earlier reaction to me. --- A few thoughts: * Whilst the dream was far from a "wish fulfilment" dream - indeed, I don't remember ever having a "wish fulfilment" dream - the relationship in the dream is, I think, very close to my ideal sexual relationship: not a relationship where sex is always a gesture of unplumbable romantic love; and - in spite of my being an incel - definitely not a relationship where my partner is more-or-less a living sex toy; but a relationship where sex is relaxed and playful, two open and trusting friends trying to have fun. * My wanting to perform oral sex on a girl I'm friends with, and so care about, is not out of character for me - I likely learnt about cunnilingus before I learnt about (male or female) masturbation, and, as a "safe" and "clean" way of giving pleasure to a friend, it's something I've always wanted to try. * However, my trying to kill a wasp is at least a little out of character for me, as I'm pretty non-violent and, indeed, I prefer not to kill wasps if I'm able to avoid it.
Night of 4/15/14 Dream 1: (I've been watching 30 rock) fragments: there was a meeting with liz miss mahoney was wearing a bra that shot out sparks (not electrical, like fireworks) Dream 2: In a cafeteria My lunch is ruined- i left it on a table and someone sabotaged it a friendly lunch man makes me more lunch and makes sure it is very satisfactory I see a girl im into close friend decides to go for her instead Dream 3: bible school (childhood trauma, what?) really boring ***** went into some sort of FPS mode everybody was shooting at each other I was shootin up fools water surrounding a tower inside, it was dark Went outside, FPS mode gone ***** Went into different inside area, can't remember how I got there *Usually when I go lucid i say out loud that it is a dream* *In this case I just felt kinda lucid* *Felt strange transitioning into lucidity, like there was little change* ***** was in a building with church people I wanted to sex up a girl People would always invade space. There was very little control I tried to build a wall and door with a closed door failed They said if I wanted to have sex it would need to be with a family member I loose control over the dream, (who wouldn't in that scenario?) *****
Okay, so this morning I had my first DEILD-induced LD! It was at least 5 times more realistic than the DILD ones! I don't have time to write about the night before now bout maybe I will edit it later as it's important. black: Side-notes red: Non-lucid dream blue: Lucid dream So, here's the dream: I'm laying in my childhood room's bed. My eyes aren't open, I just know I'm there (in reality I'm in my real bed). This doesn't seem strange at the time. I feel strong vibrations in the lower half of my body (from my chest to my toes). First I think it's only because some phenomena during meditation can be very strong. But hey! I wasn't meditating for the last 30 minutes! Then I feel the vibrations in every part of my body. I conclude that this must be SP because there is a nearly painful weight-on-the-chest effect too. So I hold still and wait. After about 15 seconds I open my eyes. I stand up, make a reality check, and I am lucid dreaming! Yeah! I want to exercise my strength a little so I try to break in the walls of the house but I don't succeed. Then I go into the living room where I find my friend's sister. My friend suddenly jumps to my back and tries to cover my head with a pillow (a scene from one of my previous dreams that night) but I can evade it. I go out to the yard and I suddenly remember my current goal: Have sex with the girl in the orange swimsuit . So I constantly try to summon her with not much success. Then I walked down the street. When I passed a house, a voice came after me. I turned back and saw a girl standing next to a house and talking to me. I went there, and thought if I don't find the girl I wanted she will be just as good . We went in but then the girl transformed into some old woman in black clothes. She showed me the house which was a bit dirty. I tried to summon the girl I wanted again. I stood in front of a room with closed door and thought: She'll be inside when I open it. I tried it many many times but I could only summon a boy with six eyes, a 300 kg sumo fighter and a woman with a mustache . I think my lucidity started fading here because I did some not-so-normal things like turning knobs on a guitar amplifier to achieve my goal.... After that my vision went away and I woke up for real. It was a very memorable experience and got me into LDing again after 2 weeks of laziness and it got me think hard on the "What is reality?" topic.
I had been dreaming, I think, for a bit, but I don't remember any of it. Enter the point I remember: I was looking at three women, not sitting close together. I said, "Wait a minute, I'm dreaming!" I went in search of someone to make it with. I didn't like the women in front of me, so I went elsewhere. I saw two hallways running parallel. I was already losing lucidity. I continued down one of the halls and found a room with nobody in it. I went to another room and found a bed. There were three young ladies under the covers. I peeled them back and found one attractive. Now there were only two in bed. I told her to take her clothes of. I started to take my clothes off. My wife came in the room and ruined everything. Dream Skip I'm in some kind of hotel on the beach. I'm with a friend of mine, but he isn't with me at the moment. I closed a sliding glass door to prevent the water from the ocean crashing into the hotel room, but the glass is broken, so it is going to come in some. I leave that room and go somewhere else. The water is right up to where the building starts. I am at someone elses room. I don't remember well what that was about, but I headed back to my room. Again, I saw the ocean right up to where the hotel foundation is. I almost have to swim at the waters edge to get to my room. The water is deep and there are large fish. It is very disconcerting. I'm afraid of the fish, and I'm afraid of sharks. I look and find sharks swimming around. I decide against swimming at all. I made it back to my room somehow. It was in a bit of disarray as if it had been flooded. I had a dream about fish 2 1/2 weeks ago. Fish Dream 1.16.2012
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