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Morning of July 3, 2015. Friday.



The prior evening into this morning was completely filled with a different style and route of dreaming I usually take - resulting in different dream types and levels than usual. I remained fully lucid in and out of sleep for several hours (more common when I was around sixteen), fully aware that I am the sole dream-maker and thus without challenge or threat unless I manifest it in-dream (as I did with dinosaurs and such when much younger), with no change in overall focus, yet since I mostly decided to be a “watcher” (and with no scripting or visual conditioning) events just unfolded randomly and without much structure or purpose.

One of the scenes just involved looking at some sort of A4 form, possibly an application of some sort such as that for a patent cover. A child had drawn an airplane over it so that it almost looks as if the airplane is in a faux “bird cage” (in viewing it all as one scene, which includes the otherwise blank horizontal lines of the application). I did not even consider this possible metaphorical play (something related to freedom, I think - or something regarding the nature of lucidity itself) until I made a near-facsimile of the scene in real life, which I find often helps me determine additional meanings or layers. However, this is probably just an association with how our youngest daughter (age two) sometimes draws a picture as such on a blank (but lined like notebook paper) page of my wife’s journal - though does not damage it otherwise.

For quite some time, I am lying in bed with a younger version of my wife and think that I should probably get dressed before I get up (should I get an idea to do anything other than love-making) as, even though I do not really care that we are in a building that is open on at least three sides and there is at least one (unknown) other older female in the area, I should still have some covering - especially as the weather has been cooler lately. The sense of legs touching legs as I rest is quite realistic - the sense of touch being typically augmented to where I am not sure if I even want to do anything else in my dream. On my right near the bed (and seemingly the only internally-rendered wall of the structure), I notice about five pairs of underpants on the floor that I had apparently left there before, which seems a little preposterous for some reason, even considering it is a dream. Mostly, I am questioning why I would just leave pairs there from previous “visits” to this version of my wife, and even so, how could they still be there during waking transitions? I would think that there would be some sort of “automatic cleanup” of dream settings before the next “visit” - even so, I do not recall this exact setting or overall layout from any prior dream - and I know they are mine. I am thinking about taking them “back” (to our real-life home) but then realize that idea is preposterous as well. This shakes me out of my dream to where I cannot find my real pants near the bed, either, but decide to leave it.

Later, when I am almost fully awake out of one scenario, I clearly smell chocolate-chip cookies baking. The scent is so strong and pleasing that I am somewhat puzzled that Zsuzsanna is lying in bed again. She will probably take them out of the oven later. I continue to enjoy the smell, and it is only several minutes later that I realize I am in some sort of hypnopompic carryover and that the smell is not even there. In fact, there is no scent of any kind that I notice after full wakefulness. Hypnopompic smells are fairly rare for me, but this was so pleasant, it colored my mood in a more cheerful sense.

Another scene takes me back to Stadcor Street in Brisbane. I decide to try to talk to an unseen character (to see if someone just randomly appears - something I did a lot in dreams in my late teenage years - even in fully dark settings or abstract spaces) and a young female takes notice, but appears almost out of view on my right (I have to lean out the fictionally-structured window just a bit to see her). The scene is a bit ambiguous as I was sure there was a character meant to be on my left, but this one appears so I talk to her and even tell her that I was trying to talk to someone on my left which makes me feel a bit silly. She is talking from behind a shorter wooden fence about chest-high (and is implied to be my fictional neighbor it seems) and I remain looking out from the window in the main bedroom at the back of the house. Not much ensues; she just seems to wonder what I am doing to my dream regarding the setting and any potential theme or plot and seems helpful.

This scene eventually shifts to where I decide to try to read something, so I turn on my “dream television” to see what happens. I soon see a sequence of binary numbers on the bottom of an otherwise blank (dark) screen and I start to think, oh, how clever, someone (a dream character or perhaps “real” entity) is trying to talk to me in binary. I am somewhat wary of who or what would do this, so I study what I see with full lucidity so that I can perhaps translate it later if possible. The numbers are scrolling across the bottom and just turn out to be “10 10 10 10 10…” as I watch. However, they transform briefly into “01 01 01 01 01…” before fading (or rather, as they are rolling off to the left). I then see my first name with the last letter (“e”) missing. Soon, I see one instance of the number two in the sequences of ones and zeroes and then realize it is pointless - as that means it cannot be binary code. I then consider if it is supposed to be the capital letters “I” and “O” rather than one and zero, as I see something like IPIO at one point, which stands for “i’ll pass it on”. I lose interest in trying to make sense of this gibberish so shift my mind to an outdoor environmental setting.

Soon, I am flying (in a standing vertical position) over a highway with hardly any traffic. I see one car, which I change into a bicycle and back several times as I fly along saying, “I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming” - which I had already known hours before, but just feel like saying it, thinking that it might also accelerate my awareness (though it does not - and my critical thinking skills are still mostly absent). I quickly get bored watching the bicycle transforming to car and back and as such, causing the person (unknown male) riding and driving to zigzag all over the road in confusion. I am probably being a bit mean, so let it go.

Finally, the last scene takes me into my house (though which actually seems more like Barolin Street) where I notice someone has parked his car inside the house (completely impossible in real life of course, though I only see part of the back of it). In fact, he is trying to back out of the room he has parked in (due to me telling him to leave and get his car out of my house), but cannot get it through the doorway, it seems (and I do not consider in-dream that he could not have possibly gotten in that way in the first place). He gives up and goes out onto the porch and sits down and I follow him out, continuing to yell at him to get out (regardless of how much rent he had been paying). He looks annoyed and frustrated.

I'm in a bedroom that reminds me of the one at almond drive. The layout is pretty much the same except for a few details, the main one being that it's a great deal bigger. It's sometime in the evening and I'm sitting down on the floor in a corner. It's where the dresser holding the television should be but it's not there. Instead it's a huge empty space. All of my pillows and blankets are in the corner with me and all of my makeup as well. Even though it's evening and fairly dark, I lift up a hand mirror and I begin to put on a bit of makeup. I hear shuffling near me so I turn towards where the noise came from. A girl is sitting on the bed on the other side of the room. She's staring at me, watching me put on my makeup. I stare back at her for a few moments and then turn back to the mirror feeling annoyed by her watching me. I ask her what she's staring at as I finish up. She says nothing and the quiet begins to bother me. I slam the mirror down and angrily look back at her, screaming "what?!" She only smirks at me, slowly climbs off of the bed and walks towards me. The closer she gets the more annoyed and angry I become. She reaches me and kneels down, reaching for and grabbing one of my arms. She squeezes my arm painfully and yanks me up off the floor hard. I resist a little but it doesn't do much good. She pulls me in front of her and grabs onto my other arm to hold me in place. For the first time I realize that I'm only wearing a bra and underwear. She's wearing a big, long sweatshirt. She continues to hold me there, smirking the whole damn time. After what feels like hours, I can no longer stand looking at her so I look down at the floor. She starts laughing then. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?", she says. I start shaking with anger and I immediately look back up at her and tell her to go to hell. She only laughs again and shoves me back onto the floor. I hit the floor hard and it hurts. I move back into the corner and try to keep a distance between us which only makes her smile widen. When I cannot move further, she crowds into my face and forces my legs open, settling in between them. One of her hands grabs my neck and the other grabs my chin, forcing me to look at her face. "You're so adorable. You're also mine", she leans in and whispers. "So be a good girl." She roughly pulls my face towards hers and kisses me. I'm pissed off beyond belief but I don't fight it. I relax a little bit in her arms and I kiss her back. I can feel her smile. She pulls away after a minute and kisses my forehead, telling me that I'm a good girl. She gets up off the floor and leaves the room.

Lived in a weird apartment building. Couldn't find my keys, but had an old key that seemed to work in a random girl's apartment. I went in and took a shower. She didn't mind. I remember seeing some bats. Ended up in conversation with Shane. He showed me pics of his son (doesn't exist in real life). Born without hip bones and something else. Maybe some brain damage. He died at 16. Hugs.

I find myself in a corridor of some building. There is some friend with me there. I notice girl lying on the floor. She is kind of busty, with dark hair. She has tight black jogging trousers. I have a feeling that we were supposed to have sex together. But kind of don't want to do it here. So I suggest to my friend that we take her to the lift and go to the top floor and do it there. Then some other guy with big belly appears. He wants to join. I start thinking how to get rid of him. There are two big goods lifts behind me. We put the girl in to one and jump in too... and go to the top floor. There is something going on with white trainers of that fat guy... I have them in my head and then throw them somewhere, I guess it has something to do with the plan to get rid of him. In the lift I realise that we sent the girl up in the other lift. When we get up there, she is not in the lift any more. But I know she went home. So I decided to go and visit here later.
She lives in a large block of flats area. It looks kind of industrial and still being built. No greenery and loads of dust everywhere.. I am getting in the building and finally I find her in her flat. She welcomes me. She is beautiful.