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This is a weird dream. This was one that's stuck with me a while and still makes me wonder about my mind at times.

I am taking calls on an airplane. On one of my calls, no one is talking. On the screen different messages start scrolling and threatening me. I'm freaking out. Our managers are trying to figure it out. In the meantime, I've decided I'm getting outta there. For a moment we're on the ground and I'm with Estrella.

She's good, just upset because she's having a hard time getting out of the ditch were apparently stuck in. I offer to give her a ride out and she insists she's fine. I remember the thing that was threatening me starts it again and I remember I'm in danger. He tells me I can't escape him.

I have this feeling of being trapped by him well past this moment. I remember the screen telling me my name over and over again. I'm scared. I remember going to find my grandma (the fuck is she gonna do?!) and she's laying on a couch and I remember coming up behind her and leaning down to hug and play with her hair.

I lost some part in the middle I think. I get these little flashes of being scared. This guy is like stalking me and threatening my life and I can't get away. I can't remember what happened though. All through the rest of the dream I'm remembering that this man is stalking me and closing in.

Except I've gotta put being stalked on hold because I have a wedding to go to . Rachel is getting married to Cody. On an airplane. The same airplane that is still being hijacked by this weird computer man thing. Romantic? I dunno, maybe. This is why I'm not a wedding planner. Apparently it's taking over and replacing the planes router... I have no idea because I'm just trying to get to Rachel's wedding. I remember being in a hall, and Rachel is married sitting with her husband watching a reception. It's like a school presentation. I'm about to give my presentation for them and I'm not even dressed.

Becca and I sneak into the room; we get to the chairs and I grab my dress and I like run to the changing room. I'm freaking out because I can feel the plane rolling and tipping with whoever is hijackijg the plane. I remember sitting on the floor looking at a 3D map and the plane is circling Florida. The pilot, a woman (for some reason this is very relevant during the dream), is trying to counter the attack. I almost feel like I was attacked away from the plane, pre-dream, and now the attacker has followed me. Lots of flashes back to him but can't think of why. Like he's got me and he's slowly closing in.

The Miz is up to give his speech (don't ask) and his music plays. I turn to leave the bathroom of the plane; the door opens and Rachel is there. She's in a like sapphire blue dress, having changed out of her wedding dress. I remember being really sad I missed seeing her ceremony.

But we both grin as I see her and I engulf her in a huge hug. I remember we both get teary eyed and start crying. I remember saying I'm so happy for her and she pulls back and tells me "He's a good fit for me. He fits me so well. I look in the mirror and I love that it's Mrs Alexander looking back".

Who the fuck this Mr Alexander guy is and where he came from is a mystery, because her boyfriend/husband's last name is certainly not Alexander. But I remember people are watching us from afar, and I'm really proud the bride is this happy to see me, and I tell her that I set up the hijacking of the plane so she'd get refunds on her tickets, which is my wedding gift to her.

I wake up wondering the fuck is wrong with me.

*Originally posted here*

Lately I've been seeing a fox (or maybe multiple foxes, they all look the same to me ) a lot in my dreams. It's a bit of a long read so bear with me.

When I become lucid, while doing whatever it is I do in my LDs, I tend to keep an eye out for crows. I can always ask them a question and they'll answer it, or at least lead me to someone who can.

A few weeks ago (the beginning of March maybe?), I saw one and asked it to show me where Catie (my subconscious/dream-guide/whatever you wish to call it) was since I hadn't seen her in months. It led me to a sparsely wooded area and I thought I saw her walking down a trail. I called her name and followed her for a little while until I saw something orange streak passed. I remembered seeing something similar happen in a few earlier dreams but I had always ignored it. This time, I focused my attention on finding it and after I few seconds I noticed a fox sitting atop a rock.

At first glance it looked more like a wolf with fox-like characteristics (like fur pattern) but after a bit of focusing, it started to look like a normal fox. I realized I was wasting time with the fox so I went back to where I last Catie, hoping she'd still be there. She wasn't so I sat down and tried to call another crow to help me find her. While doing so, I herd a noise behind a few trees and got a mental image (I didn't actually see it with my eyes, just had the thought pop into my mind) of a bear walking in direction. I woke up after that.

That was the first time I really noticed the fox. Ever since then, it's been showing up in many of my non-lucid dreams and every lucid one. Usually I'll see it in the corner of my eye hanging around where ever I am, sometimes when I'm watching tv, sometimes in a picture, and once in a while it'll just walk up to me and try to get my attention.

A few nights ago I had a lucid dream where I noticed the fox and tried to run away from it. It isn't threatening in the slightest, it's actually pretty friendly, I just wanted to see what would happen. It tried to follow me but I noticed it was limping so I went back to check on it. I scooped it up and began carrying it before waking up. I'm not sure where I intended to go, I just picked it up and started walking. It seemed to be happy about that and it started fidgeting. The more it moved, the hotter it got until I eventually woke up with this burning sensation all across my arms and chest.

Those are the only two times I can recall where the fox played a significant role in the dream, every other time it's just been a random dream character that's just there. Had been keeping my dream journal up to date, I could have gone into more detail about each instance but, unfortunately, I haven't jotted anything down in it for a while.

I'm not particularly interested in foxes nor have I ever seen one in real life. I haven't even come across anything as of late that would get my mind to focus on foxes either. These dreams just feel... significant or important for some reason and it can't be shear coincidence that I keep seeing this fox, can it? Is this my subconscious trying to tell me something? Any help is appreciated it. If you take the time to read this post - or at least skim it - and try interpret it, I'll give you the most amazing thing you could ever imagine. It'll even come gift-wrapped with a shiny ribbon.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID UNDERLINED IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

Spoiler for Past Related Dreams and History:

History

A new experience dreaming the other night. It gave me hope even though I woke in fear. It also prompted me to get off my butt and finally join a forum that discusses such things. First, a little history.

In the past I’ve had a reoccurring dream of family members and others trying to kill me. One repeated every year it seemed, starting at the age of about 8 and ending (at least consciously) around 18. In this dream a calm and intense voice announced to me that my family was turning into monsters. I ran from them. My father chased me (the chase scenes varied significantly, thought it seems that they were always outside of my grandmother’s house, where the dream started). Sometimes I got away, sometimes I fell, and there was one time I thought I experienced death before I woke up. The dreams filled me with terror.

Other similar dreams have often occurred, the main theme being that someone is stalking me and I am aware that they wanted to kill me. Sometimes I’d confront them. Most times it would be an endless hiding and running deep fear experience. Sometimes it was a combination of both. I’ve experienced other variations of this type of terror dream, often including sharks (in college), tornadoes, and tidal waves.
Usually when I wake the consuming fear and sadness and loneliness from these dreams is so very present, infusing me to some extent throughout the day no matter how much I process and release it. It can be exhausting. Ok, pretty much done with the history.


Recent History

A couple nights ago a terror dream was different than other experiences. I haven’t been remembering my dreams as often in the recent past (I started to type recent future, lol). I had meditated right before sleeping with binaural audio that also incorporates other meditation-inducing aspects. It was a pretty deep meditation and a lot more emotional pain than usual came up, but I was largely able to hold the discomfort in a larger awareness and release happened as well. I fell asleep.

Nightmare with Lucid Meditation

The terror dream was a series of people trying to kill me. Each chapter seemed to occur in my current home or a similar one.

One instance was a psychological death of sorts, where someone wanted me to admit something I’d done that hurt them but I knew that if they knew it would hurt them more than if I didn’t tell them. I felt ashamed. As they tried to dig it out of me tears ran down my face and I avoided looking into their eyes. I think I explained to them at one point that I couldn’t tell them or they would be more hurt. I was conflicted and I’m not sure I held my ground (I think the dream changed at that point).

The dream continued, one person trying to kill me, the dream morphing, then another person trying to kill me, and so on. They were sneaky, some trying to lull me into feeling comfortable with them. It didn’t work. I knew. I resisted. After a few chapters in the dream, I became aware that I was dreaming. In this lucid state I tried different tactics.

1. Dream Control

I tried what I now know to be called dream control. Tried to turn my stalker away, tried to make them friendly, tried to make it not be about being stalked. That wasn’t as “successful” as the tactic has been in other lucid dreams I've had.

2. Wake

I tried to wake myself. In the dream I had access to my real memories: I recalled that I’d woken myself from a nightmare as a young child, maybe 5 years old, after frantically trying to wake in the dream and having no success. This is how I remember it. I became aware of my physical body in my bed. I tried to open my eyes. Felt my eyebrows raising, my lids stretching, but they stayed together. I tried to move my arms. They were heavy, they wouldn’t move. Then my shoulders responded. Finally my arms moved. I reached up and opened my eyes with my hands and woke like that…my fingers on my eyelids, having pulled them apart manually.

Remembering the success of this childhood experience, I attempted this tactic in my dream last night while lucid. It failed. Throughout using these wake-myself-up-please tactics,

I would think I had awakened only to find out I was still in the dream. I became identified with the dream and then lucid and aware I was dreaming (usually because I had a new stalker or less often because something else wouldn't be the same as in my home) again over and over after each failed attempt.

First I tried to wake myself by simply willing it, then throwing a large amount of the energy of my desire to wake into it.

Then I tried to feel my body in my bed, to establish a connection like I thought I had in childhood. It seemed that I could feel my body and that I woke. This was the first time I thought I'd woken up but after I “woke” myself I soon discovered I was being stalked again and had not escaped the dream.

Then I tried to not only feel my body but to move my body, however, I found I wasn’t very coordinated and I was flailing. I became afraid of hurting myself or spilling my water on my nightstand, etc.

The cycle of thinking I had awoken and then realizing I was still in the dream (I think called false awakenings?) came full circle at least 3 times, though in my not completely clear recollection it feels like it was more like 4 to 6 times.

3. Lucid Meditation

At one point I tried to meditate in the dream, hold the dream and the fear of the dream in the arms of my awareness so that I wasn’t so self-identified with it and terrified. This was the new accomplishment. A big one. I don’t think it lasted long, maybe a couple minutes.

I’ve been in different meditative states in many dreams, but this one was intentionally, lucidly, induced. Even though it was a meditation initially infused with the desire to escape from the emotions, I'm still goanna break out with a yay! I came to a place where I wasn’t hiding or trying to wake up. I was confronting in an accepting way while still trying to protect myself.

The meditation did not relieve the fear but I felt more me, more whole. At first the fear was very present and perhaps more so. It seems that the fear ebbed to some degree after a time. I remember looking down on my body during the meditation. The dream also may have gone to black and white during the meditation and got a static quality to it, like white noise. I don't remember ever dreaming in black and white, though now that I look back I don't recall any color in the dream at any point. I am skeptical of it not being in color, however, because now it is days since the dream occurred and I only remember snippets. After the short meditation is when I fuzzily think I woke.

I don't remember the sequence of the following parts of the dream. I'm about 90% sure I wasn’t lucid at the time:

I felt physical pain when one stalker was biting my lips. The physical pain felt so…well…physical. It hurt in a sharp way, just as if my dream body was a physical one. That realization is unsettling and also wondrous. Now I realize that both of the times I have been aware of physical pain in dreams was when I was being bitten. Both dreams were at some point lucid dreams, but not lucid at the time that I was being bitten. The other time was a dog biting my fingertips. Now I’m interested in this…why biting? Perhaps this similarity is connected to a pattern, perhaps not. Worth keeping an eye on it and a thought hanging around.

I tried to manipulate the people out of trying to kill me. I plotted quickly as they advanced. One of the people I offered myself to sexually to try to avoid being killed, to distract him. It worked. It was boring and rather ineffectual sex and I ended up feeling frustrated because I wanted more pleasure, even though I was creeped out and scared.

Well, that was long. I doubt I'll want to use the energy to write so much in the future (or try to refine the clarity of my writing so much, gah), but this dream absolutely fascinated me and I felt reconnected to past dreaming experiences after dry spells and inattention. It woke the inspiration.

I think a big part of why it waned was nobody I shared these types of dreams with had similar experiences or seemed to want to dive in. But after reading some of the forum, wow, some of you not only have had similar but extensive experiences. Thanks for reading, I'm interested in learning from others on this site if you want to respond! That said, I also have a very skeptical side and enjoy critical and insightful discussion, though it is tempered by many other sides.