Recent DJ Posts

I had a dream last night that led to a mind-blowing discovery about happiness.

I've been sad lately, don't get much joy out of the things I used to love. It feels like the light inside of me has gone out.
I have plenty of "reasons" for why I'm sad, like depression and life struggles that are real and understandable.
But that doesn't change anything. I'm still sad.

Last night, I decided to try using my dreams as references for visual art. I wasn't trying to find the grand solution to my relentless despair, but I thought maybe I'll be happier if my drawing skills improve. Or maybe I'll make money off of my art if it looks better, and the money will make me happy.
idk maybe it'll just pass the time, worst case scenario.

My small, simple goal was to improve my anatomy skills, especially eyebrows. I have trouble visualizing eyebrows and putting them onto paper. I thought "Well, my dreams look just like real life. The human brain is incredible, capable of coming up with elaborate scenery and imagery that look just like real life. Perfect reference material, right? I can study anything I want in dreams."

So I entered a lucid dream with WILD and started studying a simple painting of a woman facing to the side. I could study the curve of her chin and lips, the size of her forehead relative to her chin, the shape of her eyes and eyebrows. All of the shapes and proportions. It was as if I was looking at a real painting for reference.

But this didn't help because I can already draw something like that from memory when awake. Side-views are easy for me. I've already memorized the curves and proportions. If I was going to improve, I needed references for more complex angles and expressions that I haven't memorized.

So I stepped away from the painting and started to look around at everything in my environment, marveling at how vivid everything was. The grass, the trees, every grain of dirt on the ground. I leaned down to examine the petals of a purple flower.

But again, I could draw a flower like that from memory. Neat, but not what I was looking for.

I needed to look at things that I have trouble visualizing when awake, because I don't know the finer details of what they look like.

So I found some people to study. I tried to examine the face of an older man who looked perfectly vivid and realistic at first, but upon close inspection, I couldn't wrap my mind around what his face was supposed to actually look like in finer detail. What's the exact curve of his eyebrow from every angle? Do all the hairs go in the same direction or do they curve out in separate directions? Where exactly on his skull do the eyebrows meet the orbital bone? I can't remember, I don't know these things, but I thought they would "magically" appear properly in my dream. For some reason, I thought my brain must've had this "secret highly detailed memory" storage that only dream-me could access. After all, my dreams are so vivid and realistic.

Seems kind of obvious that I was wrong, now that I think about it.
I couldn't make out his finer details in my dream any better than I could without a reference when awake. It wasn't even necessarily blurry, but it was like I was seeing the ambiguity of my mind failing to form an objectively correct visual. I was seeing all of the "possibilities" at the same time (not literally, but the illusion of my flawed perception was clearer than ever).

This is also what happens when I try to visualize his face when awake.
I still need a reference.

But it's mind-blowing that I didn't even notice the illusion covering up these deficits until I started looking for them. My unaware mind had convinced me that everything looked normal, when it didn't. That makes way more sense than my old magical assumption that we could somehow dream in 4K but not access this massive underused capacity for detail any other time.

So I can't use my dreams for art like I wanted, but this has even more incredible implications.

First, awareness is a much bigger aspect of our sensory perceptions than I previously thought. Everything you see is filtered through your awareness of it. You're not getting the real thing. Visual artists are specifically skilled to increase their awareness of visuals and a lack of awareness of visuals is reflected through their drawings, but we otherwise may never notice the awareness we lack (whether an artist or not).

We go about our whole life thinking we see things that we're not fully seeing. Our minds are filling in the blanks and we don't think twice about it.

Secondly, this is a huge difference between waking life and dreams that I never noticed before. Removing the "filter" like I did in this dream could help you recognize the dreamstate by reflecting on your level of visual awareness.

Third and more incredible to me is what this implies about happiness in general. I posted this on the Omnilucid discord, and a fellow dreamer pointed out how this happens with other things too (not just visuals) like when you dream of a funny joke, but wake up with the realization that it wasn't funny (your mind just thought it was). Or in waking life, the experience of a garden being extra beautiful knowing the labor and love that went into it VS just seeing a garden in a dream that was easily created on the spot.

I've had countless dreams that replicated the experience of something, without having the actual experience.

Like nightmares about things that aren't scary, or losing love for a person I've never met. It was just a trick of the mind, an illusion of having an experience I didn't even have... There's a pure essence to our experience of things that can't be seen, heard, touched etc. It doesn't seem to exist outside of our consciousness. It's invisible and intangible, but it's very real.

I think I've been getting wrapped up in the illusions of "stuff" and have a better understanding of what that means now. I'm feeling much more hopeful. Maybe I can find happiness again now that I'm seeing past the filters.

Thursday December 8th 2022
Dragon god. Red dragon. Dream game. Playing.
I am inside of a big room. Become lucid and quickly leave the room, teleport to Lyseno and try to find something interesting to do. Got over to a random planet with not much to be done, not a place that I need to protect so don’t worry too much about it.
Fly over to a different planet and arrive to a place that has a lot of jungles and forests but at the same time is SUPER technologically advanced, to the point they already deciphered the fully immersive games and what not.
So obviously I want to try, been a while since the last time I got to play games inside of a dream.
But then I need to purchase the game and the console and so much stuff… will do that a bit later, in the meantime just go over to a random forest and start there for the time being and relax.
Back to sleep.
Reading something like a newspaper, become lucid and start to… feel a bit stuffy. Sneeze a bit and then just clean myself up.
Remember my goal from last dream and start flying to find the closest city then get over to the place.
Once I arrive nobody seems to find strange I was flying so maybe it will be easier than I thought to purchase the things that I need to get.
Watch how people bring out some kind of coins and pay with them so just create some of my own, enough to pay for stuff and get the machine and the game; next thing is to try and find a good place to play the game so teleport over to the forest again since no dangerous creature was there and it has a nice cold climate for me to be playing on.
Place the thing on my head, it’s like a headband then place the game which is like a sphere on top of the headband and close my eyes.
It is like doing a WILD, so cool.
Once I enter the world figure out why there was such a big difference between their technology and their world, apparently they are not as technologically advanced as I thought.
Am falling from the sky slowly, start flying down and can sense that instead of this being a game world, they have sealed some creatures inside of it a bunch of creatures that were too powerful to be kept in the normal world.
No idea who did it, but they did it with the idea of a game. I think that the creator of this place may actually be one of my sons, since the people in this planet are way too weak to be able to defeat something in the level of the three dragons that are resting within this dimension and he is also the epitome of all technology.
The first thing first, the game gives you a character based on your strength and this way people can train themselves until they become strong enough as to fight the dragons so they no longer need the game. The real reason they got money to purchase it is because money was given to those hunting stuff in reality, proving they wouldn’t die on day 1 in the game.
My character apparently is broken, I am given no HP or MP bars due to the numbers being too high for this little world and some characters realize this right away and think I may be a NPC added to aid the players in becoming stronger.
End up teaching some people how to use certain skills, among them how to control fire. They are all too damn weak… we fight some kind of knight that is made out of metal close to a mountain. Those creatures that spawn give mana to people to make them stronger, but the amount of many is super low and because of this little error in the design of the game nobody is getting strong enough to even dent the dragons, end up waking up without as much as burning down the knights and getting some mana myself, revealing that I am not a part of the game.
Back to sleep.
I am resting on top of a rock. Try to get up and discover moss to my side, slip and end up hitting my mouth. DAMN! I also become lucid while falling, roll over some as if I was in pain and then don’t feel anything… right, I am strong enough to not feel anything from such a thing.
Get up, look around making sure nobody saw me and dust my clothes before walking towards a tree that is nearby and faking that nothing actually happened.
One of the girls from the group I was on before lets herself fall from the tree and says she got fruits and offers me one, the damn girl saw me I am sure. She has red hair and is obviously someone I dislike and will have to die soon.
She says that we need to get moving and is about to grab me when I just jump over, at least there was no comment about what happened.
She says that some people ahead want to meet me and we move there. She is running and I am flying slowly behind her.
We arrive to an open plan next to the forest we were on and there is a group of three people, two mages and one warrior. I know they want to test me and next thing I know is a Wyvern comes from above and is trying to attack me.
I turn around and shot a fireball at it, the wyvern survives it so next thing I do is create blades made out of wind and cut it down in pieces.
Apparently that was the strongest creature the three guys could defeat up till now, they also were not expecting me to win so easily. I fly down to them and tell them why they made a wyvern die without any reason to do so.
They say they are monsters, and I say they forced a creature to be slayed without any reason, the monster in this scenario is not the wyvern. We get into an argument and I am pretty mad myself over this, resurrect the wyvern, stop time for the adventurers and take the wyvern with me.
Back to sleep.
I am sitting atop of a volcano. Some people are coming towards the volcano where I am at. The Wyvern is there with me and it feels afraid and prepares to leave.
They throw spears at it that fly at really high speed and I stop them with TK then throw them back at their feet “Don’t take any more steps” tell them, one of the guys picks up the lance and throws it at me this time.
It hits me in the forehead and just falls to the ground. The start to prepare their attacks towards me. I am pissed off still and then see a dagger in my neck. The red haired girl is here. I stand up and the knife slices at my neck, nothing happens.
They all seem surprised, they were hoping for their weapons to do some damage to me.
I teleport to another island within this game world and wait for them to try and pursue me, it isn’t far from our current location and even send them the map to get there quickly.
The mage makes them all fly towards me and before they arrive I raise the water around the place. They break through with a lightning, good.
Once they reach and prepare to attack me place them all on the ground with super gravity, the red haired girl seems to be asking me to stop, why? They are the ones attacking other living creatures without knowing why.
This game is annoying and I want to end it, so prepare to do so right now.
Tell them that they should all leave this place, as this will be the new home for all of the monsters, unless they want them all to be free from now on in both worlds.
They refuse and so I cut the head of one mage “Rejection is not an option” I say while sitting down to look at them.
They say someone else will beat me and I mention they haven’t been able to beat the three dragons yet, so how do they expect to defeat me? They try to say something again so just raise my hand, let the water fall and break the seal of all three dragons at the same time.
The place trembles, are they strong enough to break a seal by Pinocchio? That would be fun, but it stabilizes after a bit.
The people start screaming at me and ask me what I am doing, they have not yet realized that I am a much greater treat than all the dragons together?
There is a mage dragon, a king dragon and a god dragon, white, red and black is the colours each one possesses and the first one to be encountered is the mage dragon.
It teleports above us instantly and then looks down at us all, a flare of magic comes down on us all and everyone starts screaming loudly.
I look up and stop the magic energy with a barrier, destroy it, enclose the dragon with TK and then make it fly higher. The pale face of the creatures FINALLY tells me they understand that I am more dangerous than the dragons.
The dragon starts roaring loudly and the other two start coming towards us. I grab the mages on the floor and teleport in front of the mage dragon, then kill both humans in front of it. They are barely big enough to be the size of his eye. I can see the surprise in the face of the mage dragon “This is your world, I can crush you if I so wish right now, just go and live here happily, nobody will be able to stop you guys now” tell him and let him free, he leaves right away.
Take the warriors except the girl since she has red hair, teleport to the dragon god that is coming our way and he stops right away then a claw comes swiping down on my face. It just stops there, makes no damage and I poke his claw out of the way. Damn these guys are big! Just the claw/nail is bigger than me.
He grunts and asks me who I am “Someone making you free” I tell him, and let the humans fall in front of him, he eats them “This is a prison” he says, so I extend my arms and fold space then make this place its own planet instead of a prison “It is a connection now” tell him, he seems satisfied and leaves.
Teleport the red girl to me and extend my hand, the red dragon comes at full speed towards me and I stop him with my hand, take the girl out and tell him he can kill all the humans in this planet. He is looking for blood.
Apparently their kind ruled before since they were stronger “But ruling through fear isn’t good, this is why the humans hate you” told him, and obviously sealed them.
He is mad and attacks me instead, I just block all his attacks. Once he calms down he says he won’t kill the humans but wants them back in their world and prepares to leave. I kill the girl for being annoying and teleport everyone else back to their own world. The connection is not lost yet, so some may come back here “Just kill them if they come” tell him. The dragon seems more surprised at me killing the girl “Also tell them I killed them all, don’t mind the animosity” and then just wake myself up.

Wednesday December 7th
Two lucids, not much sleep. Had dreams with simpsons. To journal later.
In the first dream I was in a sewage, way too big to be the normal one in my country. Became lucid nearly right away and went out just to find myself inside of a town made out of cartoons. Start to fly and go towards the centre.
Many different type of cartoons start coming together so make myself invisible then mind control them to go away and forget I even exist here, don’t get to do much before waking up.
Back to sleep.
I am inside of a small house, it is white and a bit confusing because it looks like it is made out of plastic. Go towards some stairs that are close and become lucid, ah alright this makes more sense.
Teleport outside of the house and wonder why I am in this place and prepare to leave then sense everyone coming towards me… ok that is not exactly nice. Try to make them all go away with mind control but for some reason most of them are mindless.
Use scan and find the one controlling them and then make them push them out of my way. It only works temporarily… I can recognize guys from different series, including the Simpsons and they are still coming towards me.
Even the guy controlling them lost his mind.
Because of everyone losing their mind, just become invisible and prepare to leave flying when something strange happens… they start hitting each other and things go a bit crazy there. Apparently since they are all mindless puppets and lost track of their target it made them go mad with rage.
Now that wasn’t bothering me, but the next thing that happens is that they all start to fuse with each other. It is actually quite a disgusting sight, you can see their bodies protruding purple tentacles with blood and what not and they are all dying.
Damn, ok I can fix this. First of all return their minds to them, so they never again dare to attack me at the sight of what is going on while sane. The next thing that happens is that I reset their destinies deleting the one controlling their lives power over them, then reset time to before they started hurting each other.
Some faint, some puke, they can’t take what just happened. Some may even die due to the shock. Once all of them are up and about again just leave again on my end by flying out of the planet and out of the universe. Apparently I was in a pocket dimension, that’s so annoying.

Tuesday December 6th
Already forgot.

Monday December 5th 2022
Today barely slept… again.
Only remember one lucid at the end of the night. Was actually in the bathroom when I became lucid. Washed my hands, got out of the place and flew towards the location where the DC that I had been with before were at.
Don’t remember their names at all but they were glad to see me.
There was some kind of monster creature coming around which I did not mind, but it kept on attacking me instead of the other DCs so ended up crushing it with gravity and going around the place. It was like some kind of giant maze with a lot of people getting lost and dying to the monsters.
The DC I was with kept following me since I kept defeating the creatures, and the traps wouldn’t really hurt me like the others who were dying.
All in all, I had fun in the maze and only needed to kill one of the creatures, so that was good.

12.9.2022

Pizza Problems

I go to a pizza place, I think. While I’m there, it is noticed that a dog has urinated on the floor near someone’s chair. I go to clean this up. This process seems to take longer than anticipated, and I’m at the pizza shop longer than I meant to be. I think my Mother eventually shows up, and is not particularly happy that I have been taking so long and didn’t get in touch with her. She might have even tried to call me and I didn’t answer. She says something to me like “does the number [her phone number] mean anything to you?”, sarcastically getting after me for either not answering her call or for not calling her to tell her that I was going to be late. I think I try to defend myself in some way.

Fragments:

(1) A “mummy”. A guy that looks normal, and probably attractive to women, but he turns into a mummy and/or zombie kind of thing. He also gets really mean, I think. There is a woman. For some reason, he catches her, ties her up, and hangs her from a tree. He might wrap her in some kind of animal skin, too. There is a bear, or some other vicious creature around. I think the man is enticing the animal to attack the woman. There is a skunk involved somehow.

(2) There are two people walking down a street. Something about money, I think. One guy pulls some money out? Somehow, it is related to a guy having a pair of pants under another pair of pants, and pulling the other pair out.