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I had a dream last night that led to a mind-blowing discovery about happiness.

I've been sad lately, don't get much joy out of the things I used to love. It feels like the light inside of me has gone out.
I have plenty of "reasons" for why I'm sad, like depression and life struggles that are real and understandable.
But that doesn't change anything. I'm still sad.

Last night, I decided to try using my dreams as references for visual art. I wasn't trying to find the grand solution to my relentless despair, but I thought maybe I'll be happier if my drawing skills improve. Or maybe I'll make money off of my art if it looks better, and the money will make me happy.
idk maybe it'll just pass the time, worst case scenario.

My small, simple goal was to improve my anatomy skills, especially eyebrows. I have trouble visualizing eyebrows and putting them onto paper. I thought "Well, my dreams look just like real life. The human brain is incredible, capable of coming up with elaborate scenery and imagery that look just like real life. Perfect reference material, right? I can study anything I want in dreams."

So I entered a lucid dream with WILD and started studying a simple painting of a woman facing to the side. I could study the curve of her chin and lips, the size of her forehead relative to her chin, the shape of her eyes and eyebrows. All of the shapes and proportions. It was as if I was looking at a real painting for reference.

But this didn't help because I can already draw something like that from memory when awake. Side-views are easy for me. I've already memorized the curves and proportions. If I was going to improve, I needed references for more complex angles and expressions that I haven't memorized.

So I stepped away from the painting and started to look around at everything in my environment, marveling at how vivid everything was. The grass, the trees, every grain of dirt on the ground. I leaned down to examine the petals of a purple flower.

But again, I could draw a flower like that from memory. Neat, but not what I was looking for.

I needed to look at things that I have trouble visualizing when awake, because I don't know the finer details of what they look like.

So I found some people to study. I tried to examine the face of an older man who looked perfectly vivid and realistic at first, but upon close inspection, I couldn't wrap my mind around what his face was supposed to actually look like in finer detail. What's the exact curve of his eyebrow from every angle? Do all the hairs go in the same direction or do they curve out in separate directions? Where exactly on his skull do the eyebrows meet the orbital bone? I can't remember, I don't know these things, but I thought they would "magically" appear properly in my dream. For some reason, I thought my brain must've had this "secret highly detailed memory" storage that only dream-me could access. After all, my dreams are so vivid and realistic.

Seems kind of obvious that I was wrong, now that I think about it.
I couldn't make out his finer details in my dream any better than I could without a reference when awake. It wasn't even necessarily blurry, but it was like I was seeing the ambiguity of my mind failing to form an objectively correct visual. I was seeing all of the "possibilities" at the same time (not literally, but the illusion of my flawed perception was clearer than ever).

This is also what happens when I try to visualize his face when awake.
I still need a reference.

But it's mind-blowing that I didn't even notice the illusion covering up these deficits until I started looking for them. My unaware mind had convinced me that everything looked normal, when it didn't. That makes way more sense than my old magical assumption that we could somehow dream in 4K but not access this massive underused capacity for detail any other time.

So I can't use my dreams for art like I wanted, but this has even more incredible implications.

First, awareness is a much bigger aspect of our sensory perceptions than I previously thought. Everything you see is filtered through your awareness of it. You're not getting the real thing. Visual artists are specifically skilled to increase their awareness of visuals and a lack of awareness of visuals is reflected through their drawings, but we otherwise may never notice the awareness we lack (whether an artist or not).

We go about our whole life thinking we see things that we're not fully seeing. Our minds are filling in the blanks and we don't think twice about it.

Secondly, this is a huge difference between waking life and dreams that I never noticed before. Removing the "filter" like I did in this dream could help you recognize the dreamstate by reflecting on your level of visual awareness.

Third and more incredible to me is what this implies about happiness in general. I posted this on the Omnilucid discord, and a fellow dreamer pointed out how this happens with other things too (not just visuals) like when you dream of a funny joke, but wake up with the realization that it wasn't funny (your mind just thought it was). Or in waking life, the experience of a garden being extra beautiful knowing the labor and love that went into it VS just seeing a garden in a dream that was easily created on the spot.

I've had countless dreams that replicated the experience of something, without having the actual experience.

Like nightmares about things that aren't scary, or losing love for a person I've never met. It was just a trick of the mind, an illusion of having an experience I didn't even have... There's a pure essence to our experience of things that can't be seen, heard, touched etc. It doesn't seem to exist outside of our consciousness. It's invisible and intangible, but it's very real.

I think I've been getting wrapped up in the illusions of "stuff" and have a better understanding of what that means now. I'm feeling much more hopeful. Maybe I can find happiness again now that I'm seeing past the filters.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


I am part of a weird team doing some research on some underground complex. The place is made of rammed earth, seems ancient, yet these are like top secret military facilities. There is some kind of tech or being which was found, not sure if on these undergrounds or somewhere else. This being or thing can alter matter, reality or at least our perception of it. I just joined in and I am watching and listening to a couple older researchers on the team, discussing their latest experiences and how it relates to some memory from their life together (they are a couple). Strangely, the guy is the sociologist whom (in RL) sold me my house and she is some americam actress (can't remember whom). They send me on a test. I don't know exactly what is going on, but they send me through a sort of maze and I encounter strange people. First I see a strange man and a mirror. He points to the mirror and I start swelling like a balloon. I am sure it is a trick, but then I look at my body and I am actually swelling like a balloon and feeling it. First reaction, I freak out, but then I recall it's likely an illusion somehow and I laugh, not afraid. And indeed it stops. Then I continue walking deep into the maze and I encounter a very tall man who grabs me. A pair of extra arms come out from his mid section of the body and wrap around me. I also freak out, but then again remeber it is all a trick somehow and indeed the man reveals itself to be a person on top of another and not some kind of monster. Then it even fades away revealing the illusion is even deeper and all is just mentally induced from the beggining to end. They were testing what kind of weird fears would manifest and how I would get out of it.
They then walk me outside to a pateo with grass and lots of people having some kind of networking party, with a corner where children are beinf entertained by a theather play. I notice everyone is dressed like the 50s and there is a retro sci-fi kind of vibe to this whole place.
There are some planes in the distance or something causing a bit of a noise and people want to go outside and check what's going on. So many of them head for the doors that cnnect directly to the entrance of this building. Outside there is a short staircase leading to a very large square. Around this square are colonial style buildings. I see the locals and realize "this is somewhere in latin america". Then notice flags hanging in several poles in the surrounding buildings and realize it's in Colombia. So there were really planes coming towards this town. And they attack. So we are advised to go back to the complex, close the doors and go to the underground levels again.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

In high school but with adults. Gym class is a contest of push ups in the yard, two teams against each other. The other team wins, but we are all in great shape. We take a shower and dress to attend next classes. I have a funny t-shirt with some nerdy sayings. I notice a guy looking at it and it is Markl (a nerdy comedian). We have a new class together, I think it's arts and crafts. I don't say anything to him because everyone is treating him like everyone else. But later on our way to with no nerdy messages and he is still looking at me with interest. I decide to send him later a message on Instagram to break the ice. Then on my way to english class, some colleagues are behaving like teenagers and a guy kisses one of my friend in the lips. Then some other guy to my side comments that I looked at it with jealousy and looks like I am needing some action. I feel embarrassed and get out of the group and cut through to the class. Teacher is sitting at her desk waiting for everybody and looking upset. I say sorry for delay but see no tables for the students. She points to a line of chairs against a wall, but they are all taken. I go outside look for more and warn my colleagues to bring some along but all we can find are some stools.

At my mom's home. I am by the window and I see the sky getting darker with storm clouds and pink lightnings. I am drawn to it and I fly through the window. Getting closer to it, I get lucid. First I consider diving on the ground but why not stay here instead? While I am touching the ground, I grab some dirt and call for the guidance of Guru Rinpoche and from the dirt comes a mini bronze statue of him. The darkness becomes nastier, like a blanket starts covering the whole sky and I also summon my teacher. He appears behind me, touches my shoulder and says something incomprehensible. I ask him to repeat but he is on the move and sounds like talking from very far away. I understand something about seeing him / meeting him at eleven, but where and how? Then he disappears and from the dark clouds a scary face appears and many arms stretch out and grab those in the way. I decide to fight it and I shoot light from my hands. It hardly affects it. He sends two human like beings to attack me. I get a knife somehow and stab one, but no blood, no wounds, he is not human. It grabs the knife and threatens me with it. I kinda surrender, but when he thinks I am defeated I find a way to break through the kind of spell this demonic being is putting on other people. I see a bunch of people locked inside some tiny house made of illusions they were tricked into believing were real. Once I show them the illusion, walls and doors start to crumble and they realize they can come out as they were never really imprisoned to begin with. This caused way more damage to the demon, who loses power and goes away.

I was walking towards a place, via roads. Some were unfamiliar. I was going to Rob's place. I was walking all over the place at first, passing by what seemed like the roads surrounding QC Memorial Circle. Then I arrived at a place that looks familiar: the walls of my elementary school. I walked up the road. I went "inside" somehow. I was looking at a lake or seaside area. It was an illusion created by technology. There were a few people there. I was looking for a shade under the tree. I sat beside them without any of us minding it. Rob texted where I was. I told him near/in front of his house. I then wondered whether I should have texted first that I was heading here since they might be elsewhere.

09/25/13

Dark Tower: Vampire
I am in a dark place, on a long road. I look around to see where I am. I am not alone there. Roland, Susanna, and Eddie are standing in front of me several paces. Where's Jake? I have the idea I have missed some of the story… Jake should be here. Did I somehow lose Jake? It is sort of cold. Not really a physical cold. More of a cold that extends into the heart and freezes it there. Roland is pulling a cart of some kind with all their stuff on it. Oy trots over beside Roland and snuggles up a bit as if to try to keep Roland warm. Roland picks up the bumbler and pets his soft fur. Eddie and Susanna are snuggled together for warmth, Eddie is carrying Susanna on his hip. I pull my white Assassin robes closer around me for warmth, but it does little good. I wish I had someone there for warmth… no one is there. I catch up with Roland and the others. Roland finally notices I have arrived. He says he had started to think I wasn't coming back. I say I have been having problems with dreaming lately, I haven't been able to do much. He looks at me strangely but says nothing more. Eddie and Susanna seem oblivious to my presence. I ask where Jake has gone. Roland looks sad and says Jake didn't make it. Now I want to kill someone. I find I am quite angry. How did I miss the time when I needed to be there to save Jake? This is absurd. There is snow on the ground, but I don't think that is the source of the cold. The cold is deep inside. It seems Roland has noticed my anger. He says he felt the same thing, too, wanted to kill the very writer he had gone to save… but it would have done no good. There are houses up ahead. One of them has lights on. We approach and see there is a man standing outside. He seems friendly. He greets us all in a cheerful manner. Something seems off about him. I feel like I want to punch him in the face. The man invites us all inside. I think it is a bad idea. I want to keep going. I don't want to stop here… unless it's to punch the jerk in the face. Not sure what is wrong with me. Is he being TOO nice somehow? He has a hideous skeletal horse type animal with him. I'm not sure if the animal is neglected and abused or if it might be somehow demonic. Everyone wants to go inside with the man. No one else seems to dislike him like I do. His house is a wreck but everyone acts as if it was delightful. Wtf? He tries to feed us crap. I turn it down, which surprises everyone some and seems to piss him off somehow. Everyone else eats it like it was fine dining.

Then the guy starts telling jokes. Dumb jokes. Jokes that even Eddie doesn't seem to find very funny. Though I think Roland is about to bust a gut. Susanna does bust something… a large pimple on her lip. It goes SPLAT and is apparently quite painful as she laughs so hard and for some reason smacks herself in the face like most people would smack themselves on the knee. Yuck. It bleeds all over the place as Eddie tries to stop the bleeding with a napkin… a dirty napkin. Double yuck! But everything in the house is dirty, so there's really nothing to be done for it. Roland finally stops laughing enough to notice. I go over to her and tell her I can heal that sore. She says I can't and heads off to the bathroom. Now I find I'm mad at her. I am just so pissed. I glare over at the man who is still trying to crack jokes but is being ignored for the time being. He looks different than a couple minutes ago. Younger? More healthy? It hits me… he's sucking energy like a fucking vampire. He is a fucking energy vampire. I go over to him and ask him if he is hungry. He says no, he had enough to eat at dinner. I say he looks like he needs dessert. He wants energy? Here… have some. I start pumping energy into the guy on purpose. He tries to block it out, tries to act confused… but he is transforming without seeming to be able to control it. Transforming into a strange demonic form.

Roland apparently is the fastest to react. He probably thinks I am being attacked, he pulls his revolver and blasts several shots right into the vampire's head, killing it instantly. I find I am pissed at Roland. I look over at him, glaring at him, but he just backs off a couple steps, asking if I am still me. I force myself to relax a bit and say I am fine. I hear a sound from what might be the basement. Susanna comes back out of the bathroom after hearing the gunfire. She looks at the dead vampire, who is now decaying into a zombie. We all go outside so we can find the entrance to the basement. Down underground we find a cage with a boy locked inside it. The boy cowers in the far corner, afraid. Has that vampire been feeding on this kid repeatedly? Probably. I think maybe I should heal him. But I don't get a chance to before I wake.

I was walking through the park. There were a lot of people with fishing rods. I assumed that they were going down to the river.

I kept walking until I came to a narrow dirt path. I took it and walked up the hill.

At the top of the hill, the trees ended abruptly and opened up to a small peninsula on the lake. Waves were crashing against the rocks. On the grassy peninsula was a house. It looked rather new, but there wasn't anything, or anyone, inside.

I stood hiding in the trees looking at the house.

I've been here before.

"It's just a hologram," the voice of a little girl says. I look down and see a little girl looking up at me. Sitting next to her is a strange creature. It looks like a skeleton with a dark robe on. I didn't pick up on any terribly malevolent energy from it.

"How do you know?" I return, and look back at the house.

"There's no entities in it. In the other dimension that the house exists in, there are many," she replies.

Before she even spoke, I knew that she was right. I remembered a dream I had before where I was on this same peninsula and looking into the windows of the house. There were many, many entities there.

"We're in the hologram," she states.

"How do you know?"

"Peel away my skin to find your demons underneath," she chanted. Her skin began to peel off. The creature next to her reached for the back of my heel with its skeleton fingers.

When it touched my heel, the skin rotted away to reveal bone.

"And when those who pray for other reasons pray, they shouldn't be disturbed. For those who pray for evil should not notice if something around them were to change," the little girl continued to chant.

Her sentences slowly lost cohesion to meaning and my reality slowly peeled apart.

The last thing I heard before waking up was, "she hasn't even ate a damned near rail today," in a southern boy's thick accent.

DELETED

Note: MoSh and I are starting a new plan to increase his lucidity and recall, and hopefully make mine more consistent as well, and it involves MoSh and me sharing repeated dreams, MoSh recalls all he can, and then I fill in the blanks. Our first plan was to explore a tower in MoSh's inner world that was constructed by Walms. The tower is basically a challenge of perception, the goal to simply be to get to the top of it. This was my goal as I turned on my light / sound machine and slipped into my WILD…

I am in the yard outside MoSh's inner world home, and I see MoSh is already there, he was looking at me. I tell him that I am there to go check out the tower Walms built in there, MoSh says he is ready to go. I notice he seems to be in a hurry to get going, but I figure he is just wanting to get going before the dream possibly ends. I ask MoSh where the tower is, he points towards the forest across the street from his house, he says it's off in that direction, then he heads into the forest. I follow MoSh into the forest, and we follow a path that seems to wind around for a while. I wonder how long the trail is, and whether it might be faster to just open a portal to get to the tower. I am about to ask MoSh about that when we come out of the forest and I see the tower up ahead. It is a rather tall and creepy looking tower, it looks extremely tall. I look up and I can't see the top of it. From what I can see from the base of the tower, it has no top, it goes up forever. Well, I suppose that's the challenge, so we need to find a way to the top of the tower, a top that I'm not even sure exists.

MoSh and I look around the base of the tower, it is of a pattern of bricks that looks quite interesting, but there doesn't seem to be any sign of a door. I am thinking it would be really pathetic if we can't even find the entrance, so we continue looking around the tower. Finally MoSh finds a spot in the wall that he says looks different to him, he pokes around that for a while until he finds a particular brick and pushes on it. A bunch of the bricks shift around on their own to reveal an entrance, which MoSh proceeds through. I follow MoSh through the door, and as soon as we are inside, the bricks move on their own again and seal us inside. For just a bit the place is completely dark, but then there is illumination from an unseen source. The room is now filled with a cool blue glow, making the room look really strange. The room is cylinder shaped, though there is a ladder up the far side of the room. The ladder goes up the wall, and then it goes horizontally across the ceiling to a door in the ceiling. Well, the way to do that seemed pretty clear, climb the ladder and then swing across the horizontal ladder like monkey bars, and then deal with getting through the door. So I head over to the ladder, MoSh is right there with me, and we climb up the ladder, MoSh is right behind me. When I reach the top of the ladder, I reach and grab the first ladder rung of the horizontal part, thinking if this was my waking life, this would be really hard. As I grab the rung, however, the entire room shifts, or at least it seems to. Now the horizontal part of the ladder is going up, MoSh is climbing on the floor. Um… ok… so now I climb up towards the door, which is now in the middle of the wall, I notice MoSh looking at me strangely, then he follows me. I reach the door in the wall and reach for the doorknob. The room shifts again, so now the door is in the wall, I am standing on the ladder, and MoSh is crawling on the floor. I open the door, then MoSh and I go through the door into the next room.

I step through the wall and find myself standing on a ledge on the outside edge of a huge spherical room. I look around the room, I feel MoSh standing right behind me, both of us barely fitting on the narrow ledge. Then MoSh is pushing me forward, I am about to tell him to quit it, but I realize the door behind us is closing, and we are both pushed off the edge into the room… where I realize there is no gravity in the room, MoSh and I are sent tumbling into the middle of the room. I look back at the door just in time to see the door close flush with the wall, such that I can no longer see the door. So where were we supposed to go now? There must be an exit somewhere around there, maybe it was another hidden door in the ceiling… but where was the ceiling? I can't even tell which way is up without the aid of gravity, so I'm not sure where to look for the door. Actually, finding a door wasn't going to be a problem… doors appear all over the inside of the spherical room. They are moving, so now I feel rather like throwing up, it is definitely making me nauseous. I try to focus on one spot to keep from throwing up all over the place, and I notice that one of the doors isn't moving at all. It is stationary, not rotating, not moving, so that's the one that must be real. I float over to that door and pull it open, then I call over to MoSh, telling him I had found the exit. MoSh floats over to me and then we both go through the door.

MoSh and I enter another room like the one before, and I soon figure there is a pattern of two or more of those rooms set up connected to each other. It seems like we wander around in them for a bit, but then MoSh and I decide to attach a line to the door we entered through to make sure we aren't backtracking, so we can be sure to get through the rooms as quickly as possible. Finally MoSh and I exit through the final door into a room that has gravity and isn't moving. Now, however, the fact that the room isn't moving seems rather nauseating. I still feel like I'm going to be sick. MoSh doesn't seem to be bothered by it, however, as he starts looking around the new room.

I finally get to a point where I no longer feel like I'm going to throw up, and I look around the room MoSh and I are now in. MoSh is huge! MoSh looks like he's about ten feet tall, he is standing at the end of a hallway. He shrinks down to normal size as he comes back, then he says he found the way through here, I just need to follow him. I follow MoSh to an opening in the wall, it looked like a tiny hole from one angle, but it is clearly large enough to fit through. MoSh says there is another opening on the next level up. MoSh climbs out through the hole, I follow him. We are now on an invisible floor that is so far over MoSh's inner world that I can't even see the ground, but I know there is no way we have gone that far up… MoSh follows an invisible pathway to another hole through the wall of the tower. I follow MoSh and look around the room we have just entered. I don't even get a very good chance to look around the room before a wave of vertigo hits me so hard that I wake up.

Dream of September 19th, 2010

I was in a desert, but I can’t remember how I got there or what had happened before this. I was Aang from Avatar the last Airbender. I was flying along in the desert when I saw a young girl with tanned skin and black hair. She said that there were people after her and asked me to help her. I agreed and took her with me to my friends, Katara, Sokka, and Appa.

When I entered the camp I told the gang the girl’s situation. After talking a bit I realized that I wasn’t acting quite how Aang would act, I was acting to serious, so I tried to smile more and sound happier and optimistic like Aang usually does. The girl then told everyone the rest of the details, such as where the bad guys’ base was, and then she showed me that she had wire handcuff type things on her wrists. To cut the wire off of her wrists I put my fingers as if I were using scissors for the game “rock, paper, scissors” and then I closed the two fingers and attempted to cut the wire. The first attempt didn’t work but then I tried to focus my mind and inhaled to bring in energy and then I tried to cut it again, this time it worked.

After cutting the wire we all got ready to leave for the base. For the first part of the journey we just walked, but once we arrived at the tunnel where the enemy base was I had everyone ride on Appa while I flew (which doesn’t make sense since usually Aang walks Appa through tunnels and flies through open areas).

As we descended down into the base we encountered some of the bad guys, which I quickly took care of. Once we got further down the tunnel it started to transition from the rough rock to smooth white painted walls and wooden floors. I’m not sure how it happened but I ended up getting separated from the rest of them. I found the leaders in what looked to be a kitchen but they fled out the door into a hallway.

I’m not sure after if I separated from Aang’s body and became myself or just went into first person after that. Anyways, I walked down the hallway and searched for the leaders when a boy came and said that they had placed illusions and that we would have to break them to find them. I think I went into one of the rooms after that and broke one of their illusions and found one of the guys, and then I went back into the hall and into another room. In this room there were many windows, some chairs, and at the end a grand piano. Something felt wrong about the room, the appearances of things seemed to change slightly every so often, and it made me feel a little weak and my mind fuzzy. I tried putting my hands in front of me and touched everything to see if it was real, and then I went up to the piano and picked it up and moved it. While I was moving the piano it ended up touching some pipe like object which shattered the illusion.

The appearance of the room had changed drastically. Most of the windows had faded away and the chairs and everything else looked plain instead of elegant like it used to. Since the windows faded away the room became darker, and it actually made me feel a little scared. I turned around to leave the room and saw one of the men escaping into a different room. I went to follow him but then the dream faded away.

I was in some sort of game, and I had become stuck in this very long corridor stretching off far into the distance, into the darkness. I was near the entrance to the corridor, from outside. The corridor had no ceiling, but other than that it was a large, rectangular stone corridor. The stone was worn, it looked like it had been there since the beginning of time.

Anyways, in order to teleport to some location to continue the game, I had to eat a number of corrupted peas. Let me explain... vines covered some parts of the corridor's interior, and pea pods grew on the vines... every once in a while (the distribution was random) you would find a peapod that was dull red, with short purple vine-ish protrusions coming out of the ends... these were corrupted peapods. Apparently dark energy had leached into them. The number of corrupted peas I had to eat was enormous, 120 I believe, and the corrupted pods were so infrequent that I lamented ever finding enough to consume 120... however, with a few minutes of exploration I discovered that the corrupted pods appeared with an ever-increasing frequency the further you went down the corridor. I should have turned back then, but my oblivious non-lucid self kept walking, leaving the entrance further and further behind... remember that the corridor was open air, so I wasn't walking into pitch-darkness, but I sort of was, because after a while suddenly there seemed to be a roof, and even though it wasn't pitch pitch black I still got the feeling that I was walking closer and closer to some source of darkness at the end (and I mean that both literally, as in dark, and figuratively, as in evil).

I trotted happily along, collected corrupted pods to absent-mindedly pick open and eat the corrupted peas while I walked... eventually I felt as if I was no more than 100 feet from the end of the tunnel. I saw a side chamber, and felt an evil presence approaching from the end of the corridor... instinctively, I ducked into the side-chamber. I watched in hushed silence as a being of darkness floated past the entrance to the side chamber where I was hiding... my memory is a bit blurry here, but it looked like some sort of humanoid form composed of white and black flames. When I saw it, I got the instant feeling that it was a "lost soul," an "empty soul," a "hollow soul." And I also know that it would kill me if I alerted it to my presence.

When it was sufficiently far away, I exited the side chamber (interestingly enough, I had found my IRL neighbor's cat in there, that was the only non-creepy part of this whole dream hehe)... anyways, I exited the side chamber and walked briskly down the corridor once again, determined by some sort of mad curiosity to reach the end and see what was there. I found a glass push-door. I pushed it open, went in, and found myself in a very ordinary building. The whole building was one large room, with couches and bookshelves and other furniture. It was very large, and had massive wall-windows that let in sunlight from outside. There was no one in it. I sat down, wondering about this turn of events, wondering if it was some sort of illusion. It was all o innocuous.

Then I saw Y (IRL friends will be referred to by the first letter of their first name) with a bunch of her friends, J, and a bunch of other people I recognized, all walking down the corridor. They were talking and looked as if they had all been going down the corridor exploring together (I saw them approaching through the glass door from inside the building). I looked and saw that, at least to my eyes, they were all wearing black (I got a slight feeling that only I was seeing this, and in each other's eyes they were all wearing normal clothes). They opened the door and walked in as a group, and suddenly...

*An episode of missing time occurs here, it doesn't feel like the dream just skipped ahead though, it feels as if the missing time was an actual part of the dream and something happened in between and we were all made to forget what took place, like it was cut out of our memory)*

...suddenly we were all outside, in these gorgeous mountains that surrounded the building. Tables were placed everywhere outside, elegant wood dining tables, and they all had a lavish assortment of delicious food on them... the whole scene was backdropped by a magnificent mind-shattering sunset that was happening everywhere, in all the sky somehow, like the sun was at multiple points in the sky and was setting at many points in the horizon simultaneously. It was like a symphony of color.

Suddenly, I had a horrible epiphany.

I don't know where it came from, but suddenly everything fell into place and made sense.

I hurriedly clambered up to a table that my friend J was sitting at, with a blonde girl across from him. I sat at the table, ate some food, then leaned to him and told him what I thought "J," I said, "we're all going to be trapped forever here, eating this food in this sunset for all eternity."

It was all an illusion. I had had a sudden feeling, and I'm convinced that it was true, that in reality we were all lying unconscious in that building (which probably looked very different than the sunlit room which it had appeared like to me) with shadow creatures feeding off of us, feeding off of our energy.

The mountains, the tables, the delicious food, the table settings, the light, the sunset... it was all in our heads.

It was like the Matrix, but more horrifying somehow.

J turned to me, a worried look on his face as he began to comprehend what I had just said. He started to examine his surroundings, a look of horror creeping onto his face...

And then the dream ended (thankfully).

If it had lasted longer, I probably would have told everyone else there and then tried to find a way to escape from our mental prison and fight the creatures off (when we had returned to what was reality in the dream, rather than the fake sunset world, I mean), then leave the Corridor of Darkness and never return.

Note: My first goal for this night was to look for Asuka. MoSh said he is worried about the situation due to not having seen her in the past few dreams, so I agreed to help locate her and see if there was something wrong. With this in mind I fell asleep and slipped into a WILD.

As my WILD began I found myself in the same familiar location in MoSh's inner world. I didn't have to wait very long, MoSh came right out of the house and came over to me, clearly in a hurry to get moving. He came over to me and looked like he was surprised that I had not yet opened the portal, we most certainly had to get moving before… well before what? I had no idea what he thought would happen if we didn't depart immediately, but I went ahead and opened a portal while focusing on locating Asuka wherever she may be. MoSh followed me through the portal.

MoSh and I emerged into a beautiful place, flowers growing everywhere, a sparkling stream flowing through tall green grass, the path we were on led to a small bridge over the stream… it was all beautiful. I wondered where Asuka might be, although it definitely looked like the kind of place we might find her. After scanning the area for signs of her energy, I led MoSh across the small bridge and into an area filled with particularly beautiful flower. Asuka was at the end of the path near a small pool, crawling through the plants and flowers as if looking for something, she was so distracted with her search that she hadn't even noticed we were there. She was looking closely at some strange flowers floating in the pool of water right next to her, staring very intently at the flowers as if she wasn't sure what to do next. She only became aware of us when MoSh spoke to her.

"Asuka?" MoSh said, getting her attention, "What are…" Asuka interrupted, she asked him to please not say anything until… she picked one of the strange flowers off the surface of the water… until he had smelled the flower. MoSh looked rather confused, he asked what the flower was for as Asuka came over and held it out to him. She said it was a heart flower, a blue lotus flower with a heart in the center, and whoever smelled the flower would only be able to express their true feelings. She said if MoSh could smell the flower and still wanted her to go… she looked like she might cry, but she went on and said she was sure he would not be able to say such things if he smelled the flower first. So if he really meant what he had… MoSh interrupted now, saying he hadn't said she should go, she had decided that all by herself, after the lucid dream they had shared together, she had just gone silent and he hadn't seen her since. Asuka looked momentarily confused, then said no, he had called her a whore and said he wanted her to go… Something wasn't right there, I was wondering what was going on. Maybe the best thing to do would be to see exactly what had happened. The first thing I thought about was viewing the dream, so I summoned my laptop and activated. I dialed the dream up, hoping I wouldn't see too much of the actual action of the dream.

Asuka's View
The hologram now had me in the dark of MoSh's and Asuka's bedroom, I really felt like I was intruding here, but I wanted to know what had happened that Asuka's report of events was so different from MoSh's. I peeked up at the bed cautiously, I wanted to be sure there was nothing going on there anymore, and the two of them were just lying there. MoSh was facing the other direction, Asuka was facing him, and though it was pretty much impossible to see, there was a shadow between the two of them… was that the problem? Most likely. A voice seemed to come from MoSh, it sounded like MoSh's voice, but it didn't sound like something MoSh would say… he told Asuka that had been so disappointing, he told her if he had known that was all he would get he wouldn't have bothered rescuing her all the time… Asuka just had a shocked look on her face, she said that wasn't funny if he thought he was joking. He (or the shadow) said he wasn't joking, and then added that Asuka had been nothing but a disappointment since day one, she had brought him nothing but trouble, so she should get the fuck out of his house, she was no longer welcome there. Asuka touched MoSh on his shoulder, MoSh responded with, "I know you're stupid… but don't tell me you're too stupid to know what it means when I tell you to get the fuck out!"

It looked like Asuka was crying, but she said to herself that there must be something wrong, someone had done something to him… she went to Data, who was in the other room, she said something was wrong with MoSh, but she couldn't see what, he had to help… So Data followed Asuka back to the room and did a scan of MoSh. The shadow thing was gone, so there was nothing there for him to see. I also took the opportunity to scan MoSh, but there was no sign of infection or anything. Asuka went and used what looked like a laptop and contacted Q, asking him to take a look at MoSh and see if he could find anything wrong. Q also took a look at MoSh but he was unable to find anything wrong. She used the laptop and now contacted Basara, she wanted him to check MoSh, but MoSh agreed with Q, she asked Basara where I was. Basara said I was out dreaming somewhere, but he didn't know where, but I would surely be back soon. Asuka looked in on MoSh one more time, only to find the bed was empty, apparently MoSh had woken up. She turned away from the bedroom and walked down the hall looking very sad, but then she seemed to get an idea. She opened a portal and went through it immediately. I followed her through the portal thought I wouldn't have had to since the dream shifted right away to the new location.

The rest of the hologram projections on Asuka involved her searching through a lush and beautiful garden near the edge of a pond, heading into a rather dreary swamp also near the edge of the water, up to the top of a mountain right near a natural spring that was flowing strong and clear. By now she seemed to be getting frustrated and discouraged, I wondered what she was looking for, but for now she sat down in the middle of a patch of flowers and cried… but not for long, she soon got up and was off again, deep in the woods there was a cave with a clear stream flowing out of it into a sparkling pool. She was looking near the water's edge once again, and looked disappointed and frustrated again when she apparently didn't find what she was looking for. The next stop she made was the place MoSh and I ended up finding her, in the garden where she had found the strange flowers. The hologram ended before MoSh and I appeared.

MoSh said that was not what had happened, he said that Asuka had gone silent, and had refused to speak to him, and then when she had disappeared… Q appeared in front of us, he was holding a strange wiggling little imp like creature by the scruff of its neck. The thing was wiggling and hissing and squirming, cursing and spitting… Q said this annoying little thing had been creating illusions, a little troublemaker with no energy to speak of… MoSh wanted to know how it had gotten inside his inner world, why had it been screwing around in there… the thing was hissing and spitting expletives, hissing something about the entire idea of love being nothing more than a farce, all methods of manipulation, all lies, so those fools might as well find that out now, because anyone who falls for the tripe that is love is only mmmph mmmph mmmph mmmph… Q had covered the little thing's mouth, it bit him… MoSh wanted to rip the thing's head off… Q said he had some use for such a creature, or thought he might, then the two of them disappeared…

Type: regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

It began with me simply walking along the sidewalk in the day time. I was in a city area, but not the grungy inner-city sort of area. It was more like a polished, nice area where all the glass business buildings were. I walked past banks and coffee shops, and then a dog ran up to me.

It was mottled black and brown, with small accents of orange-brown all over its body. It was a cuter version of a golden retriever with longer fur, so it was a bit fluffier, and was about the height of my waist. It came up to me and started licking my hands. I crouched down and petted it, and I could have sworn it nodded to me slightly.

The dream fast-forwarded and I was in a large room that looked almost like it'd belong to part of a mall, with light speckled tiles and large windows along the walls, leading to other smaller rooms. It looked like this, minus the futuristic wavy stuff and blue tiles in the center, as well as the brand names along the walls.

There was a circle of chairs, the kind that one would find in a school, each with legs at least ten feet tall. There were a person sitting in each of these chairs, including me. I looked down momentarily and we were quite a ways up, since the chairs' legs were so long. I recognized one of my classmates, a taller, lanky girl with blonde hair. The other was a girl, shorter with messy black and plum hair, and a black hoodie with tighter blue jeans. She went to my school the previous year.

It was a mental institution (I was one of two caretakers), and I knew this immediately. The girl with the black hair quickly wiped her arm across her nose and looked around, seeming slightly awkward. The blonde girl was sitting in the chair beside me. I got some strange vibe from her, and she kept looking at me and then away again, but not in a creepy manner. I became slightly unnerved and decided to talk to her. "Hello," I said, trying to sound interested, "you're new here. What's your name?"

She looked away and scoffed minutely. "My name doesn't matter. You know who I am."

I looked away, raising my eyebrows, and when I looked back I saw the same dog I met earlier in the dream. The girl was gone. I gasped and a few other people sitting in the circle turned their heads. They looked at me, then at the dog, and looked confused. "You can't see what just happened?" I asked them. They nodded their heads back and forth.

They can't see it.

I looked back and the girl was there again. "I came here because you're very kind. I want you to be my owner. But don't tell the others... They can't see me."

Note: I went to bed tonight with an unexpected goal. MoSh had come on the computer and said there were some disturbing things going on with him, he'd had a nightmare, so my goal was to go check out MoSh's inner world and make sure things were ok in there. This was the goal I had in mind when I fell asleep. Once again no WILD, but I did have the following dreams…

I was at work. It was the hospital where I used to work. I was sitting at my desk. I had been sleeping. Crap… I looked around and saw Susie also asleep. Well, at least I hadn't been seen sleeping. I got up and paced a bit in the office to try to wake myself up. I woke Susie up. She looked up at me and asked what I was doing. I said I was sleepy so I was walking to wake myself up. She said to grab a pillow and sleep then, it was nap time. Nap time? Since when did my job have nap time? She must have seen that I was confused. She asked how else am I supposed to check the inside of the servers except through a lucid dream? She said I should get to sleep and into a lucid so I could go check out the MExchange1 server while she finished checking on the Harp0 server. She lied her head down to go back to sleep. Checking servers in lucid dreams? Better get in the habit of doing RCs. To begin that I did a RC right there. I could breathe through my nose even when I pinched it… I was dreaming right now! Screw this job! I'm outta here!

I walked out of the office and down the hall to the door that led to the fire exit. Concrete stairs led both up and down from there, but instead I climbed up on the concrete railing. I did another RC just to be sure, then I jumped into the air and flew. Yay flying! Yay lucid dream! Ok… focus. I flew away from the hospital and thought about my goals. I wanted to do a DDO dream… I wanted to open a locked book I have in my inner world… I wanted to complete the task of… MoSh! That name pushed into my head with force. MoSh! I had said I was going to go check out what had happened with MoSh! I bumped paying a visit to MoSh to the top of my list of goals. I focused on opening a portal… at first it didn't want to work, but then I focused harder and it opened. I flew through the portal…

I landed in the yard outside of MoSh's house. The weather was bright and sunny. I went over to the house. I could hear voices inside, a man and a woman were talking really mushy mush to each other. I looked inside through the window and saw MoSh and Asuka kissing pretty heavy. I didn't want to interrupt their make-out session. I turned to leave, but I remembered I was going to check on Asuka. I looked into the window again. I would check on both of their energies to see if there was any sign of contamination. I looked, focused, and I saw none. It wasn't just that I saw no contamination, I saw no energy at all! They weren't real! Wtf? I quickly made up a corny rhyme spell… "Dispel the vision that I see, from illusion set me free." The illusory MoSh and Asuka vanished… and the entire scene shifted…

Now I was in the basement of MoSh's house. MoSh and Asuka were chained to two separate stone tables. There were people there torturing them. I recognized the torturers, too. Nomad was peeling MoSh's skin off and Angel was sticking rusty nails in Asuka. Wtf?! No way could that really be Nomad and Angel… Whoever it was I was going to stop them. I went in to stop them and noticed again… no one there had any energy. I repeated the spell I'd made to dispel illusions… "Dispel the vision that I see, from illusion set me free!"

The scene shifted again, but not much this time. It had just shifted so that Nomad and Angel were being tortured by MoSh and Asuka instead of the other way around. "Dispel this vision that I see, from illusion… glurk…" My spell was interrupted when I nearly puked. MoSh had just torn one of Nomad's eyes out and fed it to Asuka, popping it into her mouth like a piece of candy… Yuck! I went through my dispel illusion spell faster so I wouldn't get distracted again… "Dispel this vision that I see, from illusion set me free!"

The scene changed again. Asuka tied up naked between two trees in a forest, MoSh videotaping as a line of disgusting looking men forced themselves on her. Asuka was screaming and crying… no… repeat dispel illusion spell… MoSh and Asuka swapped places, the ugly men were doing MoSh from the rear while Asuka filmed it and laughed, "How do you like it, you sick fuck?" Um… no… repeat dispel illusion spell. The scene shifted. Asuka and MoSh having pretty violent and raunchy sex… well, I don't know how they like to do it… The people had no energy, not real. Repeat dispel illusion. MoSh stabbing Asuka many times and then coming towards me with the bloody knife… no… dispel illusion… MoSh and Asuka skinning live animals, couldn't tell what kind… no… dispel illusion. This was getting ridiculous! Asuka giving oral pleasure to MoSh then suddenly ripping his… um… you-know-what off with her teeth… no… dispel illusion, dispel illusion, dispel illusion! Damn it! Why wasn't it working?! I focused carefully, not paying any attention to the screaming around me as who did I-don't-want-to-know-what to who… and focused on the spell, "Dispel this vision that I see, from illusion set me free. All this horror cannot be, make it gone, so mote it be!"

I stood there with my eyes closed a bit longer. No screaming… no sounds of raunchy sex… no crying… no sounds of animals in pain… I carefully opened my eyes. I was outside of MoSh's house. There was a strange fog hanging over the area. Q telepathically told me it's called a fog of illusion. The fog lent a creepy aspect to everything. I used the song Full Moonlight to gather up the strange fog from all over, in the house, all around… into a small orb that I threw into a void.

Ok, now where were MoSh and Asuka? I had to find them. I felt for their energy and found it. They were both in the house. I went in through the front door, following Asuka's energy because she was closer. I found her in the kitchen, in the pantry, cowering in the back corner trying to make herself invisible. She saw movement, shrank back, but then came to me crying tears of relief. She said she was so glad to see me… MoSh had been infected with dark energy, he was trying to kill her, and she hadn't been able to do anything for him. She said she had tried to get out of the house to get help, but he was always waiting there with his huge knife, saying which parts of her he wanted to cut off first… "Please help him," Asuka said, "It's not his fault… it's dark energy, I'm sure…"

I checked Asuka for energy corruption. I found none, but I did a Touch My Heart healing spell on her anyway. Golden energy flowed into her. I then followed MoSh's energy. It was downstairs in the basement. I found him there. He seemed to be sneaking along the back wall, trying to blend with the shadows, getting closer to the stairs. He saw me there and apparently thought I was Asuka. "Come on, Asuka," he said, "Try to fight it! You need healing! Just fight it for a bit… I really don't want to hurt you!"

"I'm not Asuka," I said. He heard my voice and recognized it. He came running over to me and put his arms around me. He said he was really glad to see me, Asuka needed healing… and she needed it bad. He motioned to the far side of the room. Shawna came out. MoSh said Asuka had tried to kill both of them, and neither Shawna nor him had been able to heal her. But she needed help badly… I would help, wouldn't I? I said I already had seen Asuka and I had used a healing spell on her. I used Touch My Heart on MoSh and Shawna, though they didn't look infected, either.

When MoSh and Asuka were in the same room, I told them what illusions I'd had to break through in order to get to the reality of MoSh's inner world. The psycho version of MoSh trying to kill Asuka and the psycho version of Asuka trying to kill MoSh and Shawna weren't real, they had just been illusions. Very convincing, very hard to penetrate. I told them there had been a strange fog all over the place, the fog of illusion. They seemed to understand and accept that, now everyone was pissed. Who the fuck had put that there? How had they gotten in? I wondered if it was something L had done when he was inside before, or if he had used another dirty trick to come back and do it… because if he had come back after the incident last night, he was apparently looking for a permanent playmate in Walms. The idea that L secretly finds being beaten to a pulp to be a turn-on crossed my mind briefly, but I got rid of that because it would make me sick very quickly…

Asuka, Shawna, and MoSh were all hugging now. MoSh pulled me into the hug. We all hugged there for a couple minutes, everyone was relieved that things seemed normal now. MoSh was thanking me for helping. I said I would be there to help any time, I was glad he and Asuka and Shawna were all ok. The dream slipped, and I woke up, disappearing right out of the group hug.