side notes

I had some bizarre dream about me & 2 other women being told we were going to be hired to watch some snooty rich women's children. She was really insane. She wanted us to let her little & by little I mean little adolescents do whatever the hell they wanted & we would have to keep the shits alive. Her house was a serious rich person house & those kids had everything & only wanted more. By the end I called her a fucking Bitch which totally appalled her & told her to go fuck herself. I promptly left. I don't really talk to ppl like that much in my dreams but man she was a real piece of work. No amount of money would be enough to deal w/ that kind of job. I also don't take too well to ppl "telling me I will be doing something in a demanding demeaning way. If she were a real person, I positive she would have got that message, lol.

I was watching the new Magyver tv show & it had this rich guy who obviously bled over into my dream but it woman form.

Somehow I dreamed I was Boomhauer from King of the Hill and I was in a junkyard-like place and someone/something which could move junk cars around was after me. I was scared and tried to hide. That didn't work.

Note: I think it's feedback to me and it more or less means I should stop thinking like Boomhauer as much E.G. no girl chasing even though I haven't done so I felt as if I was going like that.

EDIT: Also dreamed of going down to the basement as myself and one or two of the steps was/were missing. I then saw a rat which ran off.

21 October 2017 Edit: At a later date I had a dream that I feel heavily implied that I shouldn't part out cars.

Had really clear dreams but then life happened & I had to deal w/ it so this is all I've got because I didn't have a chance to record them. Sigh. That's okay, there's always tomorrow!

Recalled two interesting dreams, one shorter and second longer, but I forgot them over the course of the day.

I dreamt:

Being in a saloon or somewhere closed but wide and with a tall ceiling. There were ropes hanging in the ceiling and me and my sister grabbed them and made something like mickey's ears.

Then i was in my grandfather's house. There was a family meeting. A Zen monk came and asked me what i had in the head, i told him just a lunar... he told me no, in the back of the head, i told him "ahh, i must have hitted something" maybe there were some scars, and i was ashamed for my first reply because i didn't understand properly what he asked.

Then my family was having lunch near the asador, so i went there. There was a table with space near the entrance where just sofi was there. I sat there modest. Dario gave me a dish with potato chips. And asked what did i eat. I thought it is not so difficult to figure out... if he knows im vegetarian then he must deduce i don't eat meat... But still i was asked because everyone was uncertain about this. I get up. There were a couple of dogs barking. One black of medium/big size barked near me, and when i got up it bit me in my leg. My first reaction was fear, because i expected a bite, but ... i thought it's just a bite, im not going to die for this, and since it's just a bite i won't hurt the dog. So i kept walking, like equanimous about the bite.

I went to the kitchen where in the dream it actually was a bedroom. In the bedroom there was a dead dog with no skin, just flesh, running around barking about prophecies (like Christian prophecies). I get up to the bed because he might want to bite whoever disagrees, and i wait for him to finish the round, so when he comes close i observe him. (The bed reminded me of the old house of my grandparent, like of 15 years ago). Meanwhile i see a river next to me and across the river i saw Arahants (fully enlightened beings) walking. I was like . I saw two monks, fully enlightened, that i think they were Ven. Ananda and Ven. Sariputta. who were leading , and right behind them there came the Buddha and behind him the whole Sangha, which were a lot of monks. I didn't get to see the monks because as soon as i saw the first Arahants and the Buddha i got back to position and tried to figure out what was the next thing to do. I was stunned. I decided that i would wait for the dog to come, let him bark, decide that his prophecies are non-sense and discard them for good, and then swim across the river or cross it and meet the noble Sangha and the Buddha. However the monks advanced, and they advanced slowly but never stopping, it seemed like they were aware of all their actions, and they had an incredible energy and will, and as soon as i saw this i thought that although i don't recognize the other qualities they have, they may have in the same ammount of strength or degree the other factors of enlightenement, which for me was something i couldn't have imagined how it was. Just having that energy was something great, i couldn't imagine how they could have at least 6 more factors with that vigour. But they had them, and for that indeed i would honour them as noble. [When i woke up i thought that it was because they worked tirelessly life after life after life, so now although they had qualities like for someone who would live at least a million years, it was manifested in a body that lasts 80 years and that's what they are leaving behind, they don't need that anymore because they reached nibbana]. Well i waited the dog and the dog didn't come, however i saw the 2 Arahant leaders entering the room, and i was in bed. Like a sick person that lies in bed and cannot get up to greet the visits. I couldn't get up not because i was sick but because i was stunned. An Arahant knew this and levitated me outside the bed to a side. I thanked him and bowed down like in Zazen would do. Now i found a proper occasion to do this reverence. The Buddha was entering the room to sit in the bed and i was still bowing down. The Arahants were standing. I still thought that was not a place for me to be... since i didn't know what they were going to do, if give a dhamma talk or rest, or discuss other things i felt akward surrounded by Arahants and being the only non enlightened being in the room, but i knew i wanted to ordain since i saw them across the river. Before the Buddha sat down in the bed i woke up.

In the dream, the same dream, i saw normal people as normal people, and i saw the Zen monk like more energetic because of his work of zazen, but still was normal. However the arahants were exceedingly energetic, it's like one could see that they were enlightened. Of course i never saw people with that energy in real life but i wondered and imagined how they could be ever since i found out about Buddhism. I would like to meet a Buddha in a future life, and i would like to renounce the wordly life and become a monk under a Buddha.

Sidenotes:

- Good dream.

Now that i think of it, a day later, these beings took their holy life seriously, and that's why they had such power. The holy life was their livelihood, so indeed that they would be experts in what they did. Just like a good university math teacher can be very good explaining, demonstrating and resolving, in the similar way with these beings.

Also about the postrating part. I was taught when i went to Zazen not only how to sit and meditate, but also how to do walking meditation and mindful postration, and also like a salute when you enter the Dojo, when you are about to sit, when you finish meditation and when you get out. Well, these later things i was explained that it was all done focused, but i didn't find any meaning. I always thought that only when the time would be apropiate those activities that i learnt would be useful, but not so much for doing it to a statue (unless you do it for the purpose of diminishing your ego...). The apropiate occasion would be when i saw an enlightened being, a Buddha or the Buddha Sangha. This remained in my mind and now that i saw the proper occasion in this dream i said now it's a good occasion, yes! and i did it I would not only do that but follow the Buddha, the Arahant or the Sangha to either help them, donate something, receive a teaching or ordain.

My cellphone ran out of batery, and i didn't have any paper near the bed so i couldn't record the dreams as soon as i woke up. Didn't get up either, so i have to rely on my memory, which didn't do a good work

I remember dreaming with my mother and my older sister.

I was on an office, like the sets of TV News programs, but it was like an alien base... Well... My sister got a new laptop, and she was getting more stuff, which was good for her. She compared the stuff she had with the guy that was sitting next to her, an old suited man.

Then i dreamt with being Arya Stark. Probably because of the profile picture i have, which i have to change. I was in Westeros, and i got caught. An old woman who has been my sister was leading me through a pyramid stair while asking me questions about white lotus and other stuff. When we got into the top i knew they were going to kill me, like a sacrifice, or like they killed Ned Stark. I could have done something, but i didn't want to harm anyone, no matter how horrible they were or how much they deserved it. So i let things happen their natural way. There was a skeleton in a table, bloody, and it was probably someone of my family. Then i had to put the head on something like a tree stump and they chopped my head. There were like 3 or 4 people there, and the top of the pyramid was closed with windows, so i don't know who actually saw that, but i didn't care either. After i was head chopped i remained conscious but with no body, and i was actually glad that i had not to be stuck with that people anymore, i could go wherever i wanted, probably take a new form somewhere else. I didn't care about the game of thrones, eventually everything crumbles. What i did care was about my attitude, to develop good qualities which i could rely upon right now and in the future. So i was tranquil in a not easy moment, and it became more difficult at the last moment closer to my beheading, but i thought it should not be any different than the prior moments, so i calmed, and remained calm.

Side notes (for making a chart at the end of the month):
- Dream about death
- Unpleasant dream

D1: Mike & I were in the woods somewhere & it was getting dark. He got a call while we were there & was saying we had to go back to the house because someone was making some crazy offer on our house. I was so confused how we would get a phenomenal offer on our house. I couldn't see any house anyway. Suddenly I hear a guy calling to us & Mike said we need to hurry back to the house. It was all really weird so I was actually glad when Meesha Cat woke me up.

D2: I was coming home & pull in but it's not my current house. It was on the land I grew up on but now my house looks different & there is a daycare there too. Also some creepy neighbor was there but his house which is different (another elaborate home I recall I had many yrs ago). I kept saying "No this isn't right, his elaborate landscape didn't extend this far before.) The daycare is chaotic. My grandkids were there at one point. Then my real life friend was there w/ one of his daughters & he was holding her by her hands but she couldn't walk yet. The odd thing was that I asked him how old she was because she was only a foot tall & he said she was 4 yrs old. It made me sad because one of his daughters does have a health condition that has stunted her growth. She was a premature baby & has health problems. She isn't only a foot tall but she is very small. I was yet again glad for my alarm to go off because this was very sad.

I've still been doing my puzzle meditation & it has led to some interesting break through's.

After a long dry spell, I went back to what worked in the first place - meditation; particularly with a focus on absolute presence, calmness, and clarity of the mind. I did this before I went to sleep at night and had a lucid dream this morning about visiting a neighbor's house.

I feel like the crux of my meditation is a focus on, "I am". There is nothing more present than that statement. It's not a mantra I repeat 10,000 times, I am just simply aware of my self and my breathing in the moment without being distracted by other thoughts because nothing else matters in that moment except that, "I am". Looking forward to more success via meditation.

Of course dream journaling is important too. I am becoming more diligent in writing down my dreams every single time I wake up.

D1: I was ghost hunting in a foggy bog w/ a guide giving me directions.
(I'm not into ghost hunting so this is a little odd but I can see a correlation w/ other things spiritual)
D2: Mike was going bowling a lot & was very mean to me about how he didn't want me there. I woke up sad.
D3: I was part of some group who had honed a craft at sabotaging hot air balloons. We made a slice in it w/ a knife but used a creative stitch as a way of puncturing it so it wouldn't take off. This was a long dream. We did this in parking lots & carnivals, etc.
D4: I woke up from stabbing dream but I didn't log it w/ enough details so that's all I got.

D1: Non-luicd: I was w/ a group of spiritual people & we are having a group session. The topic was on
people who have "seer abilities". Each person was talking about their abilities. But I kept getting vibes from the woman on my right that were distracting. I could tell she was lying for some reason. Then Meesha Cat woke me up to be fed.

D2: Lucid: This was an Armageddon setting dream. There is a girl who insists that the group should help her find her canary. I then became lucid & tried to think of the TOTM tasks but I can only remember the one about holding our head & think it's creepy so I just go w/ the flow of the dream. I see the cage & am helping her look for the bird but I'm insisting that she should leave it because it will make noise & draw attention to us. I'm trying to rationalize to her why it is so dangerous but as soon as we give up looking we hear the bird screeching. Our group anxiously is arguing about the bird & our safety. I'm telling them that their arguing is drawing attention to us & pleaded for them to stop but it's too late & our hide out is rushed by the police state officers. We manage to get in a car & the arguing escalates again. We hurried into another building which looks like the capital building. We no sooner get inside when we hear a loud explosion & we now have a hole in the room we are in. I can see professional looking people in the other room w/ suits on but they don't know we are there. They are looking out the windows & panicking. But soon the people w/ me are making noise again w/ more arguing & they start to figure out that we are there. But they no sooner are trying to alert the other people in the next room, that the building was stormed by the police state officers & are being dragged out. I then woke up. This dream was so fast paced that I was having trouble stabilizing it so I just waited to see where I could do more but it just ended too soon. Yet I did feel good about it becoming lucid regardless.

Had a bad night of sleeping. As in I didn't get much because I kept waking up over & over. I can't even remember a frag for some reason. I'm guessing my REM sleep had a hard time kicking in. Eventually I just got up. But on a brighter note my husband took me to breakfast at our favorite little hole in the wall place only 5 blocks from my house. This meant no make up to put on, woot woot! All in all I had a good weekend regardless of my runny nose because of some personal things so I'm in a happy place right now. Tomorrow I plan on doing a inward meditation before I do a relaxing puzzle/music meditation.

Nothing recalled this time.

I went to bed at about 12:00 PM. I was tired and i wanted to lay down, although i wouldn't sleep right away. I wanted to meditate instead of laying down, but... i felt tired... maybe i should investigate this lethargy in meditation itself. I fell asleep at 2 AM and i woke up at 8 AM. Then i stayed in bed and fell asleep. Woke up one hour later having dreamt more vividly. Then i just didn't got up because of lethargy (and this is dangerous because it can create a bad habit) and slept until 12:00.

Dreams of 08:00

I wrote in the cellphone "pizzas and household life", i don't even know what that means... i don't remember anything with that.

Dreams of 09:00

I dreamt being in a house, maybe it was linked with a university campus or something like that. The house looked like the house that my grandmother has, but also in combination with a carpentry, and it was abandoned but visited frequently. There was my mathematics teacher, one of the best teachers in the Faculty of Economics in University of Cordoba. He gave me really clear advice on decisions or about future decisions in my life. As soon as he finished he had to go, but i apreciated his advice. If i had to remember what advice he gave me i couldn't but i wrote something down: it was like something about the goals in one end, and oneself in another end, and one has to paint (like explaining something of mathematics, the area) all that is in the middle and that's the most important.*

Then i appeared in the entry room of my grandparents house. There my grandmother told me she had cancer. I think i told her i already knew but i was glad she told me personally, maybe because she is preparing to die, with acts of forgiveness and not hiding any secrets, i liked it. My grandfather said, well its not so serious, one doesn't know that one has cancer until the day one dies. Actually i disagreed with this (maybe i wanted to close my eyes before and think it this way but not now) because death is one kind of suffering but sickness is another, and that is really there. But i didn't reply because my uncle, José, arrived with his wife.

We were in a meeting in the dining room. My grandparent gave me a zapallo as drink. We toast. I say something, although i knew it wasn't the time to say it, that two nights ago i dreamt with Dario... (and silly of me not realizing that was a dream as well...) Analía asks what i said, and there was a baby next to her that asked what (the baby was a friend of mine but with that form...). Analia slaps the baby, and the baby just didn't react. I was offended by this action of my aunt and took the baby for a ride in a car. I was going to teach him/her how to play. I drove in calle Las heras of Rio Cuarto, and it was dark. Then i turn to my left before the bridge and i enter a neighborhood i didn't know before. I thought that i couldn't stop otherwise they would steal or kidnapp us. I saw many little elephants of clay outside the houses. I got lost and i thought i couldn't go back, and i was already to deep inside the neighborhood. There was something strange with that neighborhood. I wait till i get caught. Then i think i get caught and we loose everything, i even loose my life and i am reborn again in another realm. Only the baby could keep his life.**

Then 12:00

- There was a trafic with about 8 nude women. I just take no interest in them. Then gradually they began dissapearing, one by one. Until the last one was alone, called Narda. I suddenly looked at her, just because of curiosity, what was she doing there... well i deduced that she got payed for being there, as publicity but of course she was not just publicity. As soon as i looked at her 7 more women appeared in a blink. I said, no, i don't want this, im off. And instead of waiting for them to vanish again i left... (i think i should have let them vanish all of the 8 completely).
- Home and my mother travelled south of Argentina.
- Walking barefoot in the streets. Felt great.*** I walked in a church, nobody told me anything, but i noticed people in there was there by habit or ignorance. There was nothing i could share or that this people could share with me. I left. As soon as i got out i am surrounded by police (this happened to me once, lol). They fired me with thorns, that maybe were going to put me in sleep, so i pulled them out. Then like a woman came and just used her superpowers and artiluges to create a force barrier of orange colour so police couldn't come in. Police threteaned her but she held, however i told her not to worry and that she could leave, i would be ok. So she left and i woke up.



Notes:

Reading Serene posts about the voice and her dreams on how she got alerted about events in life inspired me
*The interpretation i would give is that i was focusing much on the goals while loosing perspective of the present or the path. Maybe i was restless while i could be calm.
** The day before i thought about Oti and how i got myself in a neighborhood like that with the car, however the neighborhood i really got myself in was more dangerous.
That neighborhood looks very similar in my dreams. It is like a recurring dream. One characteristic it has is that it's like a maze, once i get in it's difficult to find the way out, because maybe it changes... I have to think in the impermance of dreams, this is because im not lucid. If i were to be lucid i would know that it changes so quickly because its a dream.
*** Facu told me some months ago that Steve Jobs used to walk barefoot in his house. I thought, why not in the whole planet? Well now im thinking that buddhist monks walk on alms barefoot, so its possible. They are homeless, but i think i make a distinction about ordinary homeless and monks. I think there shouldn't be that distinction, because if there is im thinking about status, and what scares me about homeless people is that they have no status. Otherwise it would be a great lifestyle in my opinion. So maybe im attached to my status, and this is something i should let go.

Other notes:

- Dream with increased vividness

I was living as a part of family that was meager in means & was constantly trying to find ways to pay the bills in some shady ways & some resourceful ways. This dream reminded me a tamer version of the tv show Shameless (American Edition). I was the mother. Lots of kids! It started at a school where one of my kids were being bullied & his sister was w/ him. It got chaotic & fast paced so I can't include all of the details or it will just be monotonous because this was a really long dream. One of the kids informed me at this point that their father went to jail but I didn't ever find out why. We then were plunged into the dark in our house. I didn't panic. I sat the kids down & had a heart to heart about us having to come up w/ ways to get our lights back on. We all were laughing at the craziness of the situation & different ideas that we had to pay our electric bill. In the end the lights came back on & we were all laughing yet again.

It was a feel good dream. Lots of fun for a change. I woke up again today w/ a runny nose. I hate allergies. I'll be glad when I make it through the seasonal change & can breathe a little better. It mostly just bothers me in the morning & right before I go to sleep. Unfortunately it affects my dreams sometimes. I live in an old house so it makes my allergies 10 times worse.

I feel there are more to dreams than most of us will ever understand. I for one don't understand and have not figured out a way to interpret. I do however pay close attention to my dreams because my dreams are more conscious type dreams and learning dreams. I go through spurts in my life where I am very conscious of my dreams and then times when I get carried away with life and really don't remember them. I can only go by my experience and for me dreams have given me the strength to survive real life events. My dreams aren't like psychic dreams because for instance I had a nightmare when I was 9 that my father was being chased around the outside of my house by a man dressed in black and he was shooting at him, my dad was trying to protect us. I woke up terrified and told my parents about it. Then when I was 20 in real life my father was murdered outside his girlfriends house and shot 8 times with an ouzi machine gun. The man was dressed as a Ninja. My fathers girlfriend was chased around the inside of the house and shot and killed, then the killer shot himself, while the girlfriends son and friend were upstairs. Could be coincidence but it also prepared me because it actually felt like deja vu and that nightmare immediately popped into my mind. I had another nightmare when my son was a toddler that I was at a park with him that had a lake. I couldn't find him anywhere and saw his shoes floating upside down in the lake and knew he drowned. Woke up terrified from that one as well. Then 3 years ago in real life my grandson drowned at a pool at his daycare, it was the worse time of my life. Again coincidence? Could be but then for the nightmare that made me really wonder was the one where I saw my husband standing against our bed with blood all over his underwear and running down his leg. That same day after telling my husband about my dream, my husbands youngest son was rushed to the emergency room with a tear in his intestine, which caused him to have a lot of bleeding in the same was as my dream, and almost died. Then just a week or so ago I had that cancer dream that I posted about hearing the voice saying She has cancer and it was basically not treatable. I didn't know who she was. Just found out this week, She is the woman I work with and her cancer is in both of her lungs and spread to her brain. All can be coincidences, but these are just some of the scenarios, so you can see why I feel there is more to dreams. The events that actually occurred were not exactly as my dream, but similar enough where at the least you have to agree that it still prepared me for these events. I still don't understand it, but I do appreciate it and I am no longer afraid of it. People who don't believe in this will never believe in it, but I ask you....what is the harm in believing that you have something inside of you that is trying to protect you? It is better to look at the positive side of things ALWAYS!