side notes

I was with a bunch of other people on some unknown planet. We had been taken captive & were frantically bouncing ideas back & forth. All adults no children. Then they transported us yet again to another planet where we started all over again with arguing about how to get the hell out.

I don't remember having a dream before that I was on another planet, let alone two of them.

non-lucid
My dream was so complicated that I couldn't hold on to it. But that's okay.

D1: Non-lucid nightmare: I was being held down & raped by some man I didn't know. It was so intense I woke up.

I tried to go back in to get a lucid out of it to do the TOTM but no dice.

D2: Non-Lucid: I was with a big group of ppl & we were pillaging a house for random stuff. We were lost & just came across it. The family was the Duggar Family from the show 19 kids & counting, (Was weird cuz I quit watching that show some time ago) The father got really angry & was trying to make us leave.

D3: Non-Lucid: I was in a flying hospital. Yup, I flying hospital indeed, lol. I needed to get medical attention for something but never new why. I had 2 female friends w/ me. I was trying to find my husband (not any husband I've had in this lifetime) I didn't look like me. Both mine & his appearance kept changing. It was really weird. And our genders kept changing too! Finally I found him & we closed the curtain on an open ER Room w/ the curtain but it wouldn't close all the way around. A couple of my friends, both women whom I seemed to be really good friends w/ were saying "GO for it!" And watched us have sex, lol.

About an hour before I went to bed my husband & I had an intense conversation about how we met & a revelation I had during the day. We both feel that some other force kept pulling us together no matter what we did. He pursued me for 3 yrs before I gave in. It was an intense 3 yrs. We also both married other ppl briefly but it just wasn't right. He would always turn up behind me at work & freak me out, lol. But I would anticipate him & he would make my heart about jump out of my chest each time w/ attraction. I was always afraid he was a coke/meth addict because he is tall & slim & has a lot of energy. I was afraid because I used to be an IV drug user in my twenties & I don't want anything or anyone like that around me. But then it turned out I should've just asked him earlier & believed him. Everyone we know was like "It's about time!" in the end. We still till this day call him my stalker, lol. But ironically we both believe we were supposed to marry to the ppl in between all of this, because they both died during the year following our marriage (also 3 yrs later, I made him wait again, lol). But before they died they both changed in some ways. My ex was always very bitter & angry. He was dying from liver & kidney failure & turned to God in his final months & Mike's ex was never bitter towards me & actually liked seeing us happy together, she died in a fire... Ironically my marriage to this man ended because of his health. I told him he was going to die & had to change his eating habits & I refused to sit back & drag my kids down this road of slowly watching him kill himself in such a way. I new w/o a doubt he would die. He then went back to live w/ his mother & sister whom he had lived w/ many yrs before he was w/ me so he was never alone... Anyway I think that's where my dreams from tonight came from. Except the first one. I think that was because Meesha Cat was mauling my head to get up & feed her & it triggered that rape dream cuz he kept grabbing my hair. Of course I'm sure some of what we talked about that I didn't mention here was helpful w/ that dream. We had a pretty in-depth conversation./COLOR]

Non-lucid only.

I woke up to my phone going off. I reached over to get it & spilled my tea from last night on my night table & directly on my iPhone. I had to get up & deal w/ it which made me lose my dream recall. OOPS!

D1: Non-Lucid: I'm in some odd looking place. It looks like a mash up of a backwoods bar, game room & new age things all in one. It's somewhere in the country side. The ppl there are the cast from the Netflix original Aquarius. I'm supposed to be going to some kind of bar for some reason but instead I'm in some sort of competition. Another team went first. They drive out in a jeep & launch it into the air somehow. Then they had to grab a bird out of the air. Next they shot a target & a parachute was released & they have to land in a mock house. While waiting for our turn I got woke up by my wbtb alarm.


D2: Non-Lucid: There was a computer with something displayed on the screen. It was for sale for $279 & I was buying it for Tess. Everything was foggy.

And I've never had a random name like this in my dreams. I don't know a Tess unless you count a girl from when I was a kid named Tessa but it wasn't her for sure. I think the name is significant but for the life of me I don't know why.

A family moved into a house that I thought my family some how owned. In reality it didn't resemble any home or any people I know, lol. Someone had died & the family was pillaging the enormous estate & house of all of it's goods. I thought they had my dog. I told them I had given them my dog because I could no longer care for them. I even asked Mike if I could get my dog back. He said we are in a good place now & Meesha & him would get along. I went & looked for my dogs pedigree papers & was distracted & looked up.There were suddenly these balconies & I was standing in what looked like a theater. In the balconies were people w/ the same kinds of dogs as mine was. It looked like they were waiting for their turns in some sort of dog show. I then new I was dreaming & became lucid. I was overwhelmed w/ the reality that my dog had died many years ago & I just wanted to wake up. I looked at the dog they had there & realized it wasn't him. Then I woke up.

This was one of those dreams that wake you up out of sadness. But I reminded myself that once I leave this life I will get to see him again so all will be okay.

I went to sleep early last night & got up late. I took my meds only at the beginning of the night at 9pm & fell asleep about 10:15 so it may be why my mind was opened up more. I also cut way back on my smoking a week ago because Mike & I are working towards quitting. I'm actually really grateful for not being foggy, regardless of the fear I experienced at times during the following entries.

My first experience of the night. I was sleeping & Mike had left earlier for work so this was probably around 6am. I started sleeping on my back in February or March but somehow I ended up on my stomach. I felt the all to familiar feelings of terror as I felt my body being forcefully pushed down into my bed & I couldn't move at all. Sleep paralysis is something I am all too familiar with. It seemed to go on forever. Eventually I was able to move & woke up to go smoke half a cig. I then went back to my bed to try to have an OOB/AP experience. I laid back down & tried to raise my vibrations but I've been sick & what is usually an easy thing for me to do was not happening at all. This is where I interject that ethereal entities are drawn to ppl when they are sick or deeply depressed. I am not depressed my any means but we all know I have been sick.... I then fell back to sleep.

I awoke again to being held down again but this time it felt like a prepubescent male about 12 which disturbed me on a whole other level. I can't explain how I felt this but maybe it will make some sense later on as you read... I felt scared at first but also confused. I've never encountered some entity that I would consider to be some kind of lost confused soul of some sort. I didn't feel like he meant anything bad but I still had some real fear present because entities can do things like impersonate a being that you wouldn't fear. Anyway, I finally came out of the sleep paralysis & got up to pee & went back to sleep again. (Side note: I was on my side when this all occurred which is also not very common for me. And also the phrase, "prepubescent male" is not a phrase I use yet I felt strongly about saying it this way.)

I awoke again on my side w/ the same feeling of this boy on me. It was like he was trying to scare me for some reason but now I'm not scared at all. Instead I feel bad for him. I can tell this time I can attempt to move like before when I had an OOB/AP but I tried to roll in the opposite direction than I normally do towards Mike's side of the bed in hopes of seeing him. But I just roll over & sit up. Nothing occurs. I then go to pee again & go back to sleep.

This time I have no sleep paralysis at all but enter a dream state. I feel the weight of this boy yet again in my dream state. He's looking at me & just trying to scare me. I became full blown lucid at this point. He is freaking out because I can see him. He is confused. He told me that no-one ever sees him. I said, "well I sure see you, why were you holding me down" he said he was trying to scare me but doesn't know why. He just sounds like a kid doing something kid like. Like he was getting a kick out of it as a sort of game. I'm in his house I think but I'm not sure. I'm in a bed there & the house looks old. I start walking around & the fixtures & everything is old not like a modern house might be. He's walking w/ me but he seems not fully solid to me but close, really close. Other people are there like a family. Eventually one by one the others start to see him too & he's excited & scared all at once. I feel like his guide or something. Like I'm supposed to help him or I'm here for a purpose that is his, not mine. Of course I think as a bi-product it has helped me in some way. The people seemed confused too & not much is really said. I then woke up.

I'm not sure why these kinds of things happen to me but I think maybe the boy in particular was there for a reason. I have been studying medium-ship for a while now & reading stories by mediums of real life sessions w/ ppl & the afterlife. I'm highly sensitive to ppl & feel energies. I've had OOB's/AP's. I've had encounters w/ 2 family members that have passed & I see my dead dog in my home. I'm always having strange urges to tell someone about something that will help them & I pass it on to them. I know when ppl are coming to my house a lot via dreams or feelings. Hence, I'm quite intuitive. I also am very in-tune to vibrations. I've been studying Spiritualism, which is not Religion so please don't confuse them. I'm very interested in Energy Healing & Spiritual Healing. I'd like to learn one or both. As of a week ago I have cut back on my smoking because of a strong feeling I have that this is blocking me. But in the end this is my weird life. I think I've been led down this path after so much strange & unusual turmoil in my life. Like I had to go through all of that to get to here. This is a great advantage to not being a young person anymore. With age comes wisdom & insight.

Yesterday: Non-Lucid- This dream was so vivid w/ color & hard to explain. My explanation of details will never do this dream justice. I was in some bazaar man made looking cave w/ tunnels. Some sort of cave system of sorts. The walls, floor & ceiling were *Luminescent (i had to look this up because I new it wasn't fluorescent & I wanted to be accurate) in color. There were lots of people but it wasn't crowded, I kept coming upon groups, couples & single people as I explored this place. We were all having some super natural experience. Someone would throw this strange looking sphere & it would move in all kinds of directions on it's own. Sometimes it would just move real slow, fast or zip around just to mention a few. At intervals there were other ppl throwing one of these balls & it would always do something different. Something went wrong w/ and the person near me said I would have to throw the ball because they were needed elsewhere. Then a guy asked me if I knew where to log in & I said no & that I didn't work there. I was trying to tell him I had never done this before. Then he told me to change to the Fire Safety Code so, I punched in a 3 digit code. The guy I was subbing for came back & was flipping out acting all strange. He looked like Paulie from this season's Big Brother & was an asshole. But he was gay unlike Paulie & was professing his love for another man there & exposing some secret affair. The other guy had a wife, lol. The married couple were both freaked out. The guy professing his love made these digital hearts & arrows in the air. It was actually pretty cool. There were a lot of them.... Now enters some military ppl. Some in an official & unofficial capacity. If I had to explain what this cave looked like I would liken it to Blue Ice but was alive & had some other colors in it.

*Luminescence is emission of light by a substance not resulting from heat; it is thus a form of cold-body radiation. It can be caused by chemical reactions, electrical energy, subatomic motions, or stress on a crystal.

Because of today's entry I want to keep it separate so I will be following this with a separate journal entry.

Definite flu. The puking has begun. I was able to write down my dreams but now I only have time to write this short excerpt. I'll post it tomorrow. Non-lucids but really colorful & interesting. Stay tuned.

I was in Korea, Korea town maybe. There was a Korean woman who had a child & was being threatened by authorities saying they were going to take her child away. I didn't think she was a very good person but in the end I took them & jumped them both out of there like in the movie jumper. I wasn't sure where we went. Then my phone rang real early & woke me up.

I was so shocked by this dream I am 100% sure I would have been lucid if my damn phone hadn't rang. I have no idea where the Korea or Korean woman came from. And I haven't seen the movie Jumper lately. I'm floored. The damn plumber showed up early to fix a broken pipe in my kitchen so I missed my second wbtb alarm. I have a fever & have been fighting not to throw up so I guess my allergies have turned into the flu. Bummer.

Non-lucid only & it was just frags. Runny nose & fever. Mike thinks I may actually be sick cuz he got sick which is like never. He still went to work but took a day to rest. I did find a cool Sirius music station on my Dish Network Guide so I've been listening to a lot of old music which is really therapeutic. It plays songs like Jim Croce, James Taylor, Eagles & songs of that nature. I'm using it as a sort of meditation while I do some puzzles to put in frames for my grandkids. Cheap extra Christmas gifts for their room in my house. I finished my first one today & put it in the frame. $2 gift made w/ lots of love. I'm thrifty like that. I get them a major gift & build from there. Sorry to be a bore today. Just not feeling great.

Non-lucid, yet extremely vivid in detail as if it was actually happening. Another dream about being on vacation w/ my parents. My dad paid for it & we were staying a hotel. We had left one place & were almost to another but I had forgotten my ID all the way back at home. They were talking about getting on a plane or boat & my parents were pissed off at me & we were arguing about whether it was possible for us to go back & get it or if we just were out of time. It reminded me of this futuristic airport dream I had one time. I woke up after what seemed like a really long ass dream.

I guess I'm having them because they are traveling around in there RV & I thought they might stop by & see me but I was in sick w/ a fever this week. I've also been thinking about how they would talk about me if they knew I was meditating & become more spiritual. I can see it now. "OMG, my daughter still believes there is an invisible man in the sky! It's so embarrassing. She's never been quite right." (I can see my mom cringing as she would say this) And my belief in God is not like that at all but they are atheists & would most definitely say this. My belief has to do w/ God being in everything because it is energy. Energy is what we are & what our soul is when it leaves our human body to continue on it's personal journey. It's actually a very logical process if they were to think about it. And even scientist's can't figure out all of what the human mind is capable of. We only use a small portion of our brain's functions. At least that they can detect as of now. But in the end the one certainty is energy. Energy never truly dies. It just gets transferred. Which I personally think, is rather remarkable.

I woke up & was greeted w/ that personal good morning from my husband. Yeah me! On another side note I had a remarkably good day of listening to music while doing a puzzle for many hours. It was a form of meditation w/ candles (for the scent). Very calming.

The first time I woke up I was really groggy & thought for the millionth time, "This time I know I'll remember this dream!" (Non-Lucid) so I didn't write it down. I think I am going to put my journal in my bathroom at night from now on. That way when I get woke up for ANY reason I will automatically write it down. I always have to pee when I wake up, so I think that is a good practical system.....Today I got woke up from call from an inmate from a prison I've never heard of before. It was from Licking, Missouri. That's a real place. I looked it up. It sounds like the beginning of a good joke. "Hey, so there was this inmate from Licking, MO, & he said......" Anyway, it through me completely off. I'm not sure what disturbs me more. That some unknown prison inmate has my number, that this is the 2nd time they have tried to call me, or that I may actually know a prison inmate from some obscure town called Licking, MO. No dream recall after that. I'm not even sure I should block it or find out who it is! The craziest shit happens to me. It's always weird shit, not normal ppl shit.

Yesterday: Non-lucid- My parents, siblings & kids were with me. We were on vacation. We had checked into a really nice hotel. There were all of these cheerleaders running around because of some local sporting event. My kids were being asses & bitching that they wanted to stay at a different place that they had stayed before. My day was paying so we stayed & it was nicer than the place they wanted to go anyway. Like really nice. The place was over booked & a family was staying at a house beside the hotel. I went out side & walked over there to be nosy. I walked up onto the front porch. These people were really religious & had all of these kids. Kind of like the 19 kids & counting tv show. The father had made some calligraphy light art. It looked like a neon budweiser light or something. I told his wife that he was really talented. But she just smiled. Her kids were artistic as well. The next day everyone was flooding out of the building at once & suddenly everywhere looked like a college campus. Then my alarm went off.

Today non-lucid: All of my dreams were fragments of little people & just plain weird shit. This is my 3rd day of having a fever. Yesterday I was so sick but had to go grocery shopping & was wiped out so bad I couldn't type much cuz reading was making me dizzy. Still burning up today but had to go to my grandson's award event. Now I think I'll go pass out after I make my rounds on here.

Have had a high fever today & did log my dream on paper. But it will have to wait until tomorrow to log on here. But I'll be damned if I miss one day of logging something. So here's my something. See everyone tomorrow. Going back to sleep.