side notes

22nd November 2020

Dream:

I was sitting at a desk and there was a piece of paper; it was blank or had something recently drawn on it. I wanted to practice doing buildings and started off with a very simple rectangular one. I wasn't being able to keep the lines steady in any direction, which annoyed me.

Then, next to this building, I started drawing another building starting with a sloping roof and then drawing in some windows but then quite soon I was drawing these small cross sections in parts of this building and these sections started draw themselves full of complete scenes of what the rooms were like. I kept drawing cross section bits and adding in small details and finding details adding themselves to the drawing. As I kept my focus on drawing, perceptually, it started to feel like I kept getting closer and closer to the paper.

Very gradually and seamlessly, I entered one of these scenes but I could somehow still see things sort of in cross section, like in a 2.5D platformer game or something.

I remember a few characters, there was an elephant lady on a bed in a room above or adjacent to the main view/focus; she had some lights on but it was otherwise dark in her room and she was sliding the end of her trunk on a grating to a ventilation shaft; this made noise that scared another character in a different room and I think that character became angry out of embarrassment or something.

Later on, some bit where there was a nurse character, whose details I don't remember so well. I knocked her on the head with something massive and she went down (through the floor or over a mezzanine?) and something broke her fall, I think maybe me. I remember telling her "you idiot, this is my dream!". In the dream this was meant as some sort of explanation to the confusion she displayed when she realised she was fine after the hit and the fall. Nearby up some steps on a flat tier was a giant cobra, but in the dream I thought it was an adder, for some reason.

Fragment:

An earlier dream focused on NCIS, but which I don't care enough to make full note of the details. The dream focused on McGee and he was flying a small private jet and then someone is with him passes him a phone, with Gibbs on the line. In the dream it was like in the actual show, in terms of witticisms, humour and timings. McGee was more self-aware as a character than any other and questioned how could it be possible that Ducky and Gibbs were already at the scene in this other country he'd now be landing in at.

---

Notes:

- In the first dream, the whole thing reminded me a bit of the type of crazy and silly drawings in "finding Wally". I went through a few of those books quite often when I was younger. I don't know where those books are or if they were thrown away.

- A lot of detail was missing from my recall but the from the moment the scenes started being filled in as I drew cross sections and windows, there was a huge amount of ornamental detailing to the scenes that made them feel overly complete.

- I haven't seen a snake in my dreams for a while and I don't think I'd ever had an elephant in a dream before (hm, which also has a "snake" on its face?).

- There was some kind of dark and red-ish lighting to the room/area the giant cobra was in.

- The nurse did elicit some type of pre-lucid awareness, especially considering my remark to her confusion.

- I slept quite poorly. My neck and lower teeth were aching as I wrote my notes and afterwards.

20th November 2020

Fragment:

In a place like a restaurant or something. Someone was talking to me and they were telling me how "mussels are the tastiest thing there is" or something. I remember thinking of, or seeing some clams and thinking that besides the meat within, there would be pearls of value or something.

---

Notes:

- I remembered this fragment much later in the day while in a church. A stained glass I was looking towards for a while had pearls as a small detail in places and this triggered some vague visual recall of the dream.

- I remember after the dream and also after recalling this fragment, I did feel some sort of craving for the food in question; there was some sort of taste in the dream, it was meaty but I can't recall any more detail than that. I have never found this type food appealing before, but I have been curious about it, having possibly thought about it again recently.
-- My family, and most people where I'm from, do enjoy this type of food, but I have never wanted to taste it. Part of me thinks it can't be that different from snails and so I wonder now about similarities.

- It's possible that in the dream I thought about the pearls being a metaphor of some sort; when the recall came to me, this was my first feeling about them. I don't remember the pearls visually. Later on in the day I had disassociated thoughts about how it might be possible to modify the clams to create different pearls, or objects.

- Can't recall my reaction to being told that mussels are supposedly so tasty.

17th November 2020

Fragment:

(Lost most of recall I woke up early in the morning because I was too hot, around 6am?, unknown)

Raid groups or something like them? There were some dream characters that were kind of like combat medics. This didn't make me RC even though it should have been a prominent cue to do so. I think it did raise my level of dream awareness but not enough. I remember specifically noticing that these dream characters were glitching visually, their limbs clipped through their clothing in weird ways, as poorly animated models might do.

Fragment:

Something with C from school and T. There was a general context around the old home.

---

18th November 2020

Fragment:

I was talking via Steam to Sh from the PTFG. It didn't quite sound like him though. He was asking me how I was and we discussed something about my well-being at length; the conversation was heavily focused on me but mostly because he kept asking questions in that direction.

---

Notes (for 18th only):

- Last night I spend some time speaking with F from BL and we caught up a bit and he was asking me how we'd been.

- Dream recall had vanished by the time I got up from bed and when the recall first came through, I mistook it for a real memory, taking me a couple of minutes to go through it and realising it was simply vague recall of a dream.

- I slept poorly last night and the last few days have been very difficult for me, physically. I have also been feeling completely demotivated from my creative activity.

- Last night I continued reading the book from the LD Book Club and I had been thinking about the four-step process for dream-work. After my initial recall of this dream this morning, I have been considering trying them on this, since it's a fairly short dream and seemingly quite specifically directed towards how I've been feeling.

- All I can visually recall from the dream is the chat window and Sh's icon.
-- Typing the above note, I have just realised that my abbreviation for the person in the chat has a secondary and much more specific significance to me.

I did recall a lot more dreams but they faded fast... Should I jot notes again? My life is too busy for that.

Jamie 1

Was dosing off. Saw her looking and me from the shadows. I saw her face and the outline of her amazing hair. She didn't seem to happy or anything just neutral.

Jamie 2

Can't remember what i was doing in the dream. Jamie was there but she was in her distant phases and vanished from the dream.

Lucid

I was with Victoria (The younger one) from work. We were by the lethbridge Hospital at night. We went across the street to the building where they hold AA meetings. There was a hidden door or something and we went into some hidden rooms. I knew this was impossible so i became Lucid. Victoria vanished somewhere. I wasn't interested in her. I wanted to look for jamie. I found myself at a window and then I was outside. I was thinking of how to find Jamie when everything started going black.

I better get back into stabilizing dreams and doing Time Dilation again. i'm surprised i"ve been lucid shortly every week with my method of wbtb.

15th November 2020

Fragment:

A vast and somewhat empty place apart from some abstract platforms as I recall. There was a "sky" made up of pastel colours, light oranges, pinks and blues.

There was a demon queen, or something. She looked mostly humanoid and had purple skin? She wore some ornaments or accessories like gold bangles and chains but apart from that she must have been almost naked. She was bigger than me but not a lot bigger. Thought I suspected so, I asked her midway through some conversation if we were in an alternate dimension, to which she answered yes.

The demon queen and I were on one side of... a table? Not sure. And opposite from us were two other people, maybe a couple. The queen was able to alter or modify certain traits with some species like humans and elves, but not dwarves. But these two other people looked human even though one was supposedly an elf and the other a dwarf. So I asked her, what if they have a child together, could that child be altered in the same ways?

(recall gap)

Vague recall of an office-like place, either from the inside or the outside.

---

Notes:

- My last journaled dream featured mystical aspects like demons, but the setting and context were entirely different. The theme here was of a more medieval/fantastic aspect, by comparison.

- Unfortunately, I couldn't retain recall very well with this dream so I've completely lost any details that would be left of the other characters and the dream location.

- The demon queen as a dream character had some aspects relating to my own personal interests in transmutation and transformation. The purple skin may have seemed random when I first recorded the dream but in retrospect that element is present in some characters I've created and is a colour I generally like, although her skin's hue was a bit brighter/lighter.
-- "Queen" was an implied intuitive feeling about the character, not something that was mentioned or explained literally.

- There was a feel of "sunset" to this dream and there were no changes in light while in the platform dimension.

Summary:

DJ everyday in 3 stages (23rd)
Weekly/monthly recall
WBTB ideas (on off)
good things come in 3s
dreams (school, Un kid prank, pear, lucy. Lion lady transforming)
Notice the awareness


Thoughts
Just some monologues to type out my thoughts and ideas I learned, interesting dreams not included.

Maybe I need to up DJ game again. I'm not progressing right now. I'm just not thinking lucid dreaming stuff enough.

I need meaning. A reason. Something to...

A way just to immerse myself in lucid dreaming stuff again. And maybe DJ is the best way. Maybe not, but I will try it out once again.

A meaning... as in a way to attach myself to the dream, because dreams have been feeling rather... dull? Maybe some are fun, even meaningful but it's bland. Weekly lucids, but bland. But maybe it's because I'm not giving my dreams the love they deserve? A way to think about it, the dreams, and seeing/recalling them in my mind to impress more of myself, my sensations into dreams, that's what's lacking maybe.

It's been a while though, since I've posted here. twice I had a break from lucid dreaming. Once from a injury, and it just stopped dreams for a while. And another time I was preoccupied with something. But posting on DV was pretty helpful for a very strong recall I think. The fact that someone else might read your DJ and notice every typos and stuff like that is helpful. It's helpful because it forces me to read it over again to edit and that reading over it really help reinforce and strengthen the recall it seems.

3 times? Recalling dreams 3 times a day seems to be a sweet spot to keep recall in a strong state. I will try to do that. I remember my best recall was created by that. I wrote them down in steps:

Jotting- after fully awakening and remembering all dreams, jot them in a few words
Writing- expand and recall the rest of the dreams and write them down in the middle of the day, just type it out real quickly from the notes
Digging- try to dig deeper from the plot before, recalling anything that's been forgotten (also attach meanings to dreams)

I'm just not doing the second and third part of what I used to do as much. But that it was such a good way to improve recall.

And I should honestly begin to do that again. And I will. I'll do all that for a week, till the 23rd.

I should also do a weekly review of dreams or something like that. It's something I wanted to do before but never did. Maybe a weekly or monthly review of things I've written. Doesn't even have to be very long, it can even be just skimming everything in the past week or month, and it would only take 5 minutes to do that right? As I'm typing this, please be convinced. DO IT! FUTURE ME! I BELIEVE IN YOU! DO A WEEKLY REVIEW AND POST IT ON THE 23RD! And maybe even a monthly review. I know, I know... it might be chore, some people may make snide comments about your DJ, but that's ok just for a week, and see how it goes. Just do it for a week, you might actually enjoy it. You can stop it anytime after the week if it sucks. But you know that it'll improve your recall tremendously. Thanks and love you!

What else? WBTB?

Experimented with it. I've tried asking lucid dreaming advices from different people. But they've said it's (experimenting is) bad and that you should stick to one thing. But you know what? I realized you should do what you should do. Everyone needs to experiment and figure out what works for them. And that person's advice just didn't work for me. Maybe they don't experiment because they are lucid all the time, every time now. But I'm pretty sure they've experimented in their years of non lucidity and they've just forgotten about it, about trying out different stuff and figuring it all out.

I've found that spacing out WBTBs in between days like 2 days wbtb 2 day off, or 1 day on 2 day off, sort of thing gave me the maximum consecutive lucid days. Maybe the dream just gives time to refresh your mind and let it rest, or maybe it's because you body adjusts to the wbtb times if you do it too often. And if you just stop it before the body adjusts, you get sort of a maximum effect from wbtb each time. So for me, atleast it seems like the wbtb has a sort of 3 day cool down period? It's just like the 3 stages of DJing, it's like good things come in 3s. I wish I could know if other people have similar experience with wbtbs. Who knows, maybe none of this really matters.

Failure is okay. It's okay to fail really. Failure is the mother of success after all. And if you're so caught up in trying to get everything perfect, just always seeking, seeking for a better way you might not realize that you can just learn from your own mistakes. It's like the wise words, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly." Instead of trying to succeed... just simply be and your best. So that I can notice my own nose because the answer's always right there if I've just paid enough attention to my nose and get lucid from that.

BUT enough of that! I should just DJ. Freakin do the DJ, even though the dream this time was one of the most uninteresting and the shortest I've had in weeks. I've better keep my promise and DJ gracefully starting now.

Dream

I remember in a classroom, in a school of course. I was sitting beside my friend Un, we were sitting on the same large blocky square desks that were shared btween a couple of students. each desk were shared by maybe 2 students and the way that they sat had oriented them in facing towards the blackboard. Or was it a whiteboard? The classroom had a wooden feel to it, actually the desk was wooden yea, yellow. The teacher was a lady. And the class held about 20 people. It was teenagers. So this school was a highschool methinks. I slightly recall smoeone throwing a paper airplane across from the right side of the class, a boy who sat at the top right, where the entrance door, which was long and slender was at. I was near the back of the class, maybe the very back, about center, slightly to the right. I forget what we did though. We weren't studying in the class I think.

So me and Un, we leave the class, presumably after the bell and I just simply follow him. Our classroom was located in the southern part of the schoolm second floor. THe floors were white, off white. It was white but it had black speckles in them, sort of looking like the inside of a dragonfruit. The very edge of the floor in the hallways had sort of a dark goldish frame around it, with a thicker frame about the third the length of a shoe and the inner frame, which was the thickness of a pencil about three times the thickness its distance from the outer frame. The floor had a sort of a rubbery feel, it had a kind of traction to it. Anyways we went down the hallway and to the left, down the stairs and went the office there. I think I've been in this particular school in my dreams about 5 times now? maybe 6 or 7. But Un went into the office through the reception an and grabbed ahold of something and stole it from there. I wasn't sure what it was but we left after he grabbed the item.

I remember it looking like sort of a small rod the size of your hand. It had like a round ball like top connected to like a cylindrical rounded bottom like the bottom of a hairbrush. It was sort of shiny and white in color. Un went into a classrom and used the object and transformed into a child. This class was filled with smaller kids, like elementry. And he was just sort of pulling a prank on the teacher here and pretending he was a student in that class. He did this for a while and I just watched from outside the door. It got boring very fast so I decided to leave him be.

I was leaving and headed the same direction as before and I met Lucy on the way. We just decided to walk together and maybe walk back home together. Her house was the east or the right side direction of the left front entrance, which was at the lower part of the stairs we took before. There was a fruit stand there right before the entrance and I grabbed a hold of a pear there. I ate it and it was pretty ripe, part of it a bit rotten but otherwise very delicious. It was the soft kind of pear that I enjoyed really. I asked Lucy if she wasnted any, maybe one of the apples there, because those kind of looked fresher than the pears? She just had just kind of apathetic look to her for some reason so I just decided to grab an apple for myself. The apple was also a bit overripe and I thought I'd enjoy the pear more.

I had a vision here, of a house about 2-4 kilometers west of here. Inside the house and stuff going on. It was on the first floor of a house, about 3-4 people there. I was there briefly but came back to the same spot now.

Anyways we're headed out the entrance and I tried to ask Lucy what was wrong. She was just so ah humbug and I just didn't want to be near her that much. Then a girl shows up whom I knew from college. She lived to the west side of here and although I lived in the same direction as Lucy, I decided to go home with her instead because Lucy was sort of being a jerk. For the life of me, I can't remember her name. I cans ee her face and remember her beautiful features yet the name just passes me by. M? Muuuh
...

I had a few dreams before that. Scribbles hard to read.

One about a lion lady. I can't even remember now. It was pains, I had real bad shoulder pains and that distracted me pretty badly.

I'm pretty sure the inspiration of this dream came from my mother though. Although she was not in this dream. Seeds of this dream - mother, lion, fortune teller

I think the dream was about a lion who transformed into a lady. I had to fight a lion and the lion i was fighting transformed into a lady. Or it was the other way around, the lady trasformed into a lion.


P.S.

.. It got me thinking though. Does meditation also have the same 3 day thing? To either take a break once in a while or to at least switch the meditation technique every 3 days or so? Because I notice that I stupor and my meditation quality drops? Or maybe it's simply that you get bored of doing the same thing all the time? I don't know. Maybe everything I've written or thought about is trying to come together into a singular idea or concept. Something like trusting your own feelings? I feel like it's sort of connected to concepts skipper had said.

But I need to make it my own. In my own words at the moment. The clearest words that I have to describe it are something like,

Trust your feelings? You get better in doing.


And that thing I've learned in meditation to notice yourself feeling stuff? Like, you don't have to try to do good? Just notice things more and you naturally become good?

Is that meditation in its essence? To bring the unconscious to conscious?

Like... you don't meditate to do something... But you just remove excess thoughts?
... A kind of a 2 step process? One part of it is to learn to focus, and be more aware, just to notice more things. Maybe this part isn't even meditation, but simply the act of concentration. But this helps to sharpen your senses. And the other is the noticing of your thoughts/feelings/senses. The noticing of awareness itself. But the goal maybe isn't even to notice the awareness. But when you notice the awareness, you become better at whatever task you are doing. Because you have less mind chatter going on? And because you are better at this "mind clearing". You become more efficient in your art of concentration. And this art of concentration sharpens your senses. And in turn, you see things more vividly, and when you see things more vividly it's easier to notice something off in your dream? Maybe that's the goal of the dream yoga? And you cycle between different "meditations" like sound and stuff to sharpen each sense to maximum amount and to keep them sharpened.

Is this true? Perhaps, or maybe I'm just sprouting nonsense. But nonetheless it's very interesting to ponder. But note to self - remember to notice yourself pondering.


Well I didn't realize the font color was white since I was in black mode on the browser. When I tried to submit it just had the error and I copy and pasted it and it just turned out strange for some reason, looked completely normal on my dark mode browser though. I hope no one had to endure reading invisible scripts on a white background. Fixed a few typos, pretty sure there's more but oh well.

12th November 2020

Fragment:

Out with H somewhere. It's day time and we're approaching a wooden or metal gate of a farm or ranch of some sort. There is a building on the left of the gate, in the distance there are hills or low mountains and more immediately to our right is a small mounding area. There are some darkly coloured horses here and they eventually get up close to some trees on the mound area and stand up on their hind legs and basically start trying to copulate with the trees, which have some holes at just about the right height.

I don't recall what happened next exactly but I remember noticing the trees had no leaves left at all anymore, but the grass was green-ish and not covered in leaves. The horses later stopped what they were doing I think and turned into dogs instead.

13th November 2020

Fragment:

The dream was focused around a black boy I was trying to help. He must have been no older than eight years of age.

He had no parents? I think he was wanting to get some information about some random guy and the info he wanted was in a hard drive. I suggested we could plug it in at my computer and it would be quicker this way.

But for whatever reason, the drive needed a scart connector. I remember we looked for about three hours (it felt long, but not actually three-hour long) and I couldn't find one of these connectors, only some other old connectors.

I remember starting to feel frustrated after finding a component lead or something. I can't remember what we chose to do at this point but I do recall a computer, with a CRT. In retrospect now, it felt like something like what we had back at home when I was younger.

There's a large gap in my recall here.

At some point it becomes evident or is revealed that there's something mystical about the boy. He was unliving or something. There were dark forces trying to reclaim him, back to their domains. Another recall gap.

Near the end of the dream, a human-like demon is pouring (out of his mouth?) tea bags in front of the boy's feet. Something about these being a representation of the number of times the boy had avoided or cheated death or capture.

The dream was particularly long most of the recall was lost because of having to get ready in the morning and the recall I managed to keep for the initial notes was about an hour old at that point. Would like to edit in some notes at some later point.

First true LD in over two months. No techniques used, no intention set, completely random.

In an ordinary non-lucid dream I somehow gained some awareness of my dream state but couldn't hold onto it. I faded in and out of lucidity and dreaming several times until I laid down and kinda WILDed in the dream - this has worked for me before.
A brief falling sensation and I 'awoke' on the sofa in my parents' living-room. Instead of doing a physical reality check I reminded myself that I wasn't sleeping in this place. It was pitch black and the dream rather unstable so I kneed down and touched my surroundings. As always, everything felt hyper-realistic but I still couldn't see a thing, so I crawled across the room towards the door.
Suddenly my parents' cat appeared in the dark (well, for her it wasn't dark...) and attacked my bare arms. I set the rebellious cat aside and finally left through the front door. Outside, it wasn't any brighter, so I went on feeling my way forward.

As I reached the street suddenly my vision got unlocked and I was standing in bright daylight with detailed surroundings. I wondered what I should do with my lucidity now...and longed for something intense. Flying? Nope, not stable enough. Then I knew...I had to kill my self here (*).
At the end of the road a woman started her car on the driveway and to the right there was a strange kind of agricultural vehicle with lots of sharp blades. I walked towards the car, staring fearlessly at the woman, wondering if she would fulfil my unspoken wish.
She looked confused and increasingly insecure, and I understood that I had to take things in my own hands. Without hestitating I ran the last meters and jumped straight into the machine's razor-sharp front.
No pain but a rush of adrenaline through my body... and I was awake.

(*) Note for anyone reading: This should be taken metaphorically; I'm not suicidal. Currently going through a major transformation process due to some other experiences so I'm getting quite a few metaphors about dying at the moment.

9th November 2020

Initial note: Some parts of the dream were clearly about having to get ready in the morning but other parts felt more random. I didn't sleep through the whole night, having struggled to fall asleep and to stay asleep for most of the night, but only recalled the morning dream.

Dream:

The entirety of the dream takes place in what seems to be a subway and in some parts there's a feel of it being mixed with the layout of my old home.

I remember being naked and at one point there's some kind of mini game thing happening and

Spoiler for semi-graphic:

eggs are appearing like pickups would in a game, on the floor; I have to grab these eggs, about the size of a regular hen's eggs and put them in my vagina before they hatch by themselves, but apart from that I note that I am male. None of this makes me question reality and whenever I put one of these sort of off-green coloured eggs inside myself, they get pushed back out some moments later, feeling quite nice but with a somewhat "raw" sensation, on the edge of being an uncomfortable sensation.

And then the egg thing would hatch and a prize would come out of it, like a kinder-egg prize toy or something, but the prizes were completely random. As I kept doing this, things like bathroom spray cleaner bottles and other mundane objects would be "spawned" by the hatched eggs I was using. I think to myself very clearly "wow, it's almost like magic, but how do the companies make them appear as if they spawn from thin air from these comparatively very small eggs?" I add to the irony of this by then thinking "it must be some kind of quantum gateway tunnelling, I think", completely missing the cue.

Then I remember getting dressed with my usual clothes, the ones I'd be wearing today basically. I don't remember putting socks on but I know I hadn't put on a top just yet. I recall an escalator which I go down on, it goes a long way forward and not very far down so it has a very small degree of elevation per step. The subway area itself is very much like the ones I've been used to from my old home area but far more vast and of incredible depth/height. For a while I'm the only person in the entire place.

Then I hear dad calling for me and telling me about how we had to get on with it and get ready. (prior to this whole dream I had a waking moment where I had checked the time and it was still more than an hour's time away from my alarm going off) Mom is also here now and she's telling me about how T lost his citizen's card/ID in the subway just recently. I comment that I couldn't possibly lose something like that out of my wallet because it's all stuffed in quite tightly.

Dad seems disappointed that we (me and T or me and H?) weren't ready sooner, but I tell him it's not even 8AM yet and he doesn't really change his tune, insistent that we should be more prepared or something to that effect.

My recall faded a bit but eventually I had to go back to get a hoodie and I'm trying to not get lost in what seems to be an Escher-like maze quality that the subway seems to have. The entire underground area is very well lit but I'm left with an impression of darkness and recall the construction was primarily concrete, so it felt like a recent or cheap construction.

I recall that at some point, there were some more particular things that had hatched from my eggs; one was a bony black creature with wings, like a dragon, but not. It had a frayed look, worn. At first I genuinely thought it was a toy because it started out inanimate and in a sort of fetal position? But when it started moving around I began to hope it wouldn't cause any chaos or mayhem while we were away for work today (pre-lucid thought).

Another peculiar item that spawned from the eggs was a very authentic/official looking piece of scrap paper telling a military person who he should be looking at and what he should be doing when activating a nuclear arsenal. The paper had Spanish writing but it was mostly in English. The other military person mentioned was a "Dahlia" something or other, of an enlisted rank (sergeant comes to mind?).

At the top of this thick paper were two groups of Hebrew or Jewish 6-point stars and taking up the right half of the document were some watermarked bald-eagles or something, but the paper was torn around this area. I couldn't make up my mind on where this document could possibly originate from, thinking about Mexico, the USA, Israel and other places. But I remember being amazed by the document and trying to tell H about it in the dream.

---

Notes:

- In the dream, I don't recall any of the "subway" area actually having any rail tracks. It just had the same feel as some stations I've been in, but on a bigger scale. I never did reach a terminal at any point in the dream, nor did I see any trams/trains. The whole place was very bare. Although subways used to be a common dream sign for me, they rarely feature quite as much as they used to a few years ago, probably since I don't use them currently.

- Apart from how it felt physically, there was nothing particularly sexual about the mini-game thing.

- I think part of what brought about the small dragon-like creature was the fact that H's cat had to have some emergency care very recently and so was looking quite "patchy" and ruffled when I saw a picture.

- Part of what brought about the very peculiar military document was probably because I was reading about colonising of the Americas in general last night and also looking at different maps about the subject. Dahl and its variations is a name I find interesting but apart from the similarly named Borderlands fictional military-arms company, I'm not sure what would have prompted a character to be called Dahlia in one of my dreams, but it's not the first time a random word has been put together.

- Although I don't recall what it was anymore, something did happen if I didn't use the eggs and just allowed them to hatch by themselves and from my perception (with it being a mini-game of some sort) this was "bad".

- At the time of this dream I had recently been speaking to a transgender friend of mine, whom I hadn't spoken to for quite some time.

And this post is above another user who posted a Davie 504 dream. Are youtubers trying to take control of our dreams??? *Cues x files theme*

I think I had jamie dreams I just can't recall them. Just woke up a few times with a feeling that she was in them. I miss the constant or weekly vivid dreams of her since they've been my constant companion for over 2 years now...

Small lucid

Just Walking into a room with my cousin there. I become lucid for no reason at all. I stand by a window and try to push through the glass into another dream. but i wake up after.


pewdiepie

I'm at some bar or party. It almost has the same layout to the 21 club here in lethbridge which i haven't even been to in some years. Use to go there to talk to no one, buy expensive beer, have some drunk girl slap your smoke out of your face for no reasonand call 3 different cab companies then wind up walking home because the cabs just pick up any drunk idiot int he parking lot. No thanks.

As i walk in I see Pewdiepie standing where everyone smokes. I want to say hello but walk in. I walk in and out of the building a few times. I say "Hi," to him a few times but he doesn't respond. (honestly my pewdipie phase ended when T-series Passed him and subs) eventually I manage to get his attention. I try to tell him I have his old wired Razer headset which i've had for 3 years. I can't speak and sense my physical tongue is to dry to speak. This makes me lucid but instead of doing anything I keep trying to talk but wind up saying nothing. Pewdiepie seems more interested in that I'm having trouble trying to speak. He kind of gets the gist of what I'm trying to say but he just kind of thinks my problems are funny.

Not sure what else i recall. I work nights and can say my lucids are in my second cycle during the day. I go to sleep around 11 am or noon. Wake up 4 5 Pm. Back to sleep around 6 and fall asleep around 7. the short later period has been giving me very vivid are almost all lucid dreams.

5th November 2020 (DFLN)

Fragment:

At the end of a dream I was with H, watching a video of a guy in a labcoat mixing something together in some ceramic mugs he'd previously joined together (ceramic seamless welding technique or something).

The labcoat made me do a RC but for some reason I didn't focus enough on it and so I didn't realise I was dreaming.

Fragment:

In a room, in our house? I remember my paintings are all here. Some of them are stacked on top of each other and I notice one of the "eye" paintings is lying atop the pile. One of the other paintings in the same style/series is nearby or under that one.

7th November 2020

Fragment:

Left it too long and recall was poor. At an apartment building which goes quite a way up. I'm in a floor high up with someone else and we are trying to keep social distancing up while doing something? But eventually we end up breaking it and I think I was there to do some kind of trade or exchange.

Possibly from a different segment or dream but in some other part I recall being with mom and dad, on a highway or something. It's night time and I'm not sure if we actually were in a car at any point but I don't recall other cars or people. There's a junction or bridge over another highway section but the bridge is damaged/ruined and is actually mostly rubble. I remember street lights and that sort of thing being on.

Fragment:

Earlier fragment. I'm a level 60 death knight character in WoW and apparently I can't level up any further (my experience bar is absent). The highest level characters I remember seeing are level 70 and I remember seeing an undead player character that had an elite portrait frame.

I remember getting on a slow gryphon and flying around an area very much like Dun Morogh but on further thought may have been mixed with Wintersrping.

---

Notes:

- Recall actually hasn't been particularly poor or anything lately, even with early morning working days, but most of the time I've been far too tired when I wake up to push myself to actually write down the recall and by the time I have a chance I've usually left it too late.

- I think my RC was a bit weak in part because in the dream I was feeling a bit self-conscious while doing it. Generally I don't feel so self-conscious anymore when doing RCs when H is also around, but I guess some leftover part of that still persists for the moment.

- The eye paintings have had some special and unspoken significance to me lately. I don't know why exactly, as I also never really thought "I really love eyes" but they certainly seem to have some sort of appeal to me, as I have been noticing it's a frequent subject matter in my work.

- The ceramic joining thing made complete sense to me while I was dreaming and even after waking up it seemed to make sense and I remember thinking "what a good way of fixing ceramic objects", but I slowly realised it actually didn't make any sense and in itself could have been its own dream sign.

Jamie

All i recall is her telling me she's planning to reach out to me. Hm... Trying not to get my hopes up for that. I mean isn't BPD devaluation FOREVER? Right.

Bus Lucid

I was downtown by a park or something. A bus pulled up in front of me. A girl I seemed to know came up to me from the bus, she wore a hoody. I wasn't interested in talking to her since she had a boyfriend who was driving the bus. I began to walk away but the back end of the bus swung toward me. I was suddenly inside the bus with no transition and became lucid. I figured the people on the bus for DCs so I picked the girl up and carried her to the back of the bus to have sex with her. She became docile like a blank DC. I began unzipping her pants when the driver said something to me. The girl had vanished but i didn't notice or care. I asked the driver if he knew Jamie and if he could take me to her. He said,"yes," I saw someone with long brown hair that reminded me of Jamie suddenly appear in the passenger seat next to him. The person turned around, it was a girl with brown hair but her face wasn't Jamie's and it didn't feel like it was her. But she smiled at me. i woke up then.

Engineer Bob

i fell asleep listening to The Dark Tower books again. I must have been hearing the story of Charlie The Choo Choo. Because i was walking around a train station with a guy called engineer Bob. i kept arguing that my name should be Engineer Bob, Because My name is Robert and I always wanted to take a cross country train Ride. Bob laughed and said he is the real one.

31st October 2020

Dream:

I'm driving, something like an Opel Insignia or some kind of BMW; an estate or car of that sort, at any rate. It had an automatic transmission but the throttle was under the left thumb on the steering wheel, not on the pedals. Effectively it only had a braking pedal. I remember driving up to a junction which would lead out into a motorway and it had four or five lanes. But the lanes were on the wrong side for where I live now. I was going too fast at first but I find I have to brake suddenly, as someone had spun out of control or was already going in the wrong direction anyway.

I try to pick up the pace again and find that it's a lot less busy on the road now. I hope that H is following behind me soon. I get into a bit of a race of some kind with two other dream characters, each in their own cars.

Control of the car felt OK for the most part but a bit wild at times and the road, for a motorway, was surprisingly hilly.

Fragment:

I'm the oldest version of my rogue from WoW, a dwarf rogue. T is with my on his human paladin and there are several rogues from the Horde skulking about. They try to kill me, opening with a stun but T heals me and they're a bit dumb and don't think to change targets so we just end up killing these two rogues without much bother. Then I spot another single rogue in stealth and I open on him and kill him too.

All of us rogues had the same tier two helmet look-alike that was very common sometime after the middle of TBC.

(Recall gap.)

I'm Death from Darksiders II and I'm in one of the early-game areas, the town I think. I remember walking outside and there's a beautiful sunlight. This is the very tail end of what was quite a long dream of adventure and typical RPG themes.

1st November 2020

7:20; dreams from later on were not made note of and recall was lost.

Fragment:

Midway through a dream, JC was apparently talking to me via steam or something and we get talking about TF2 maps and I tell him about my old CTF map based on the UT "Face" map. This was a map I was making for TF2 that included a helicopter from regular HL2.

But in the dream it's very different very quickly. At first it looks like my vague memory of the map when I last touched it, but then it becomes very realistic. I walk along a Red Base area which is this vividly realistic Egyptian themed area and there's an open courtyard, slightly raised above everything else, with a square-ish mini garden thing at its centre and the floor here is made up of limestone mosaic tiles of some kind, no bigger than one cm or half inch.

I walk down some steps further toward the base, making note of a great pyramid centred to this courtyard area and see dunes further beyond in the distance.

I then turn around and see the opposite Blue Base. It looks like Washington DC's capitol building and has vast gardens and water features and creates an interesting contrast to the Egyptian area I'm in.

Taking out my phone, I start to try and take a panoramic shot of the bases to show JC but the sun starts to set beyond the Washington Base and it gets extremely dark very quickly and so I fail to take the shot, no less because I also stumbled on a step backwards as I was trying to get the angle.

Fragment:

Some bit in a warehouse-like place? Like an old 20s industrial building, not sure. Reminds me of old power plant buildings. It seems semi-abandoned but not. There's a character very much like Mom from Futurama and she's talking to a lackey of sorts, a woman in a dress; both of them were in large renaissance style dresses. But then the "Mom" stabs the lackey woman with a scalpel and I'm climbing up along a window's pillar at this time.

There's something off about it all vs the context and I remark to the character that it seems like a continuity error (also see notes for last DJ entry) but she doesn't care, making some comment stating so. I become concerned she may want to stab me and we are both outside the building now on a semi-grassy area. The area resembled KF2's prison map now. She seems more insane than she perhaps should seem but I somehow trick her into giving me the scalpel while she busies herself disposing of the lackey's body or something, so I simply end up walking away.

---

Notes:

- In waking life, I spoke to HW the day before this dream and he said he'd hoped I'd return to WoW should there be a revival of TBC too.

- Unfortunately, for most of these dreams I only made some very small notes and so didn't retain certain details I would have liked to have retained, but lately I feel far too tired in the morning to be able to write enough.

- In the dream with the bases, it's interesting that the sun did set beyond the capitol building, as this would appear West to me (and so should the sun set there) and Egypt would appear to be Near East to me. Although I have had many dreams of sunsets and the like, I can't really recall any other instance where the sun did set so quickly and where everything turned darker than night.

- The mosaic floor was particularly beautiful and may have come from having recently seen an interesting mosaic mural near where I live, which is unusual for this area, but the rest of the Egyptian theme came from something else; I'm not certain what prompted the capitol building's appearance but either way, both sides seemed to represent West and East in some sense.

24th October 2020

Fragment:

A bit in a super market about buying toilet roll. I wanted the same one as we had last time but I couldn't find it. I found some Cushelle branded roll which was apparently cotton but it looked too thin anyway.

I think HD was a cashier, I seem to remember her ponytail.

(Recall gap.)

A monster creature of sorts. I remember he spoke and said something. He was a very vivid red colour and sort of made up of tendrils. He had to be defeated by some specific means by I've forgotten the details.

26th October 2020

Dream:

In the earliest part I was in some kind of tower block. I was there with someone else at some point? I tried breaking into a flat from a maintenance area, looked like ventilation ducting but on a large scale. I took my boots off here, for some reason; but some goblin or gremlin came and stole my boots and I couldn't react in time but just carried on. I remember noticing I did have my regular clothes on and for the rest of the dream I was in bare feet. It had bothered me at first as it would in waking life, but I ended up getting used to it as I simply had no other choice.

I remember going up to the top level of the building. Reminds me of the stairwell at the old home. I met two admin-like people who worked here, there was an office. I wanted my boots found and tried to demand that they do something about the creatures like the one that took my boots.

In some later part of the dream I'm on a ground floor and there are quite a lot more people around. It's some kind of large lobby area. Reminds me of big hotels and airports in some way. I met a priest and he was corrupt somehow but I don't recall the details about it.

28th October 2020

Fragment:

I'm apparently stranded on some high tier corrosive planet. There's a purple tinge to the atmosphere and I'm in a semi-cavernous area. I try to contribute to someone's build with some rock blocks but Xenomorph-like creatures come out from a lower area and I deal with them one at a time, but I'm not sure what I used. They each looked like a mix of between a Praetorian and a Drone.

---

Notes:

- When I woke up from the tower block dream, I was a bit surprised by how consistent the dream had been with the detail of my boots being absent. Lately I have noticed that dreams are having more consistency in terms of "continuity" (like on TV shows, etc.) I remember in some other recent dream I made a non-lucid comment to a dream character about how what they were doing wasn't abiding by dream consistency or something like that; I can't remember if I did already make note of that dream or not. That dream I had recently in a desert area with the troops was particularly consistent with itself too, for the most part, I think I may have made a note about it there too.

- I've recently had thoughts about an old Alien game which may have been part of why they featured in one of these dreams. I have been wanting to get that game working again but haven't really given it the time of day to manage it. But there are other reasons they may have featured in that dream; I often think I should go and look at more of Giger's work but rarely actually do, as other things end up taking prominence in my mind. I suppose there's a theme here of things getting pushed back in terms of priority...

21st October 2020

There was a big dream from my first awakening but I couldn't retain recall.

Fragment:

In a shop with H. There are big standing fridges, the type with glass doors. We are looking at some supplements or something and H points at a few different ones. I want to pick something not too expensive. I think some of these are vitamin B supplements.

Fragment:

In an old warehouse building? Dark and dingy. But I'm here with a girl, she's white, about my height and age, maybe older, she has loose hair, fake blonde or blonde. Reminds me of Ellie from NCIS and other characters of similar archetypes. We're both naked and aroused as we're playing some kind of sexy game of catch. At one point she's taunting me playfully and because she sticks out her arm towards me I grab her by the arm and pull her toward me. She laughs in her defeat and we get more intimate.

(Recall gap.)

Then I'm on my own and I wander toward a dirtier area. The dream starts to mix with BL and there's some area I can't get through because it's claimed and has locked doors. I hear people talking beyond the doors, making plans. I decide to try and dig my way around into their town.

Fragment:

Walking up a place like the nearby bridge over the station. Rest of recall gone.

---

Notes:

- Although most of my recall of these fragments is very limited now, I still have a bit of the visual recall of the dream in the warehouse. Despite it being a dark and somewhat empty place, there was light coming in through some windows near the top of one of the walls. In a way, this warehouse has some resemblance to the gym space where I had a lot of PE lessons.

- The warehouse area seems like an odd place to me for something erotic to happen, as I tend to be somewhat averse to dirt, but in the last year I have had to get into dirty areas more often because of helping H with work. The girl's presence and our interactions may have been some metaphor of our relationship manifesting itself in the dream. I often wish I could be more romantic as in that dream, but I am often too tired and too preoccupied with my internal worries to feel like I can initiate something like that properly.