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Gamzee has gone sober.
And I was there.
He was horrifying. It was sickenly vivid. I saw everything. Everything that he did to those trolls. Like Nepeta.
This was honestly a weird dream. I never really get dreams about homestuck, cartoons, animes, game, and stuff like that.
I ended up with Karkat. We were hiding together, in a cold and dark cave. He was telling me that it was all my fault. My fault then we ended up here. He was clearly stressed out. We hated each other, really. We heard the honking of the horns, and I saw Gamzee's feet. The honking got more aggressive. For a split second, in my view, everything was sketchy and Gamzee was just... terrifying. Blood of all colors were on his face, all over his body. Karkat came closer to me, and tried to use me as a shield. I refused. Gamzee limped closer to use and we backed away. Then it was that moment. Things were eerie and sketchy. Blood was dripping from the walls of the caves. The blood was all over my shirt. It was on my face. It was buried in my nails that made me think, did I claw them, or something?
Then everything was back to normal. But Gamzee was closer to Karkat. Right up to his face. He was about to throw the bat at him. Behind Karkat was a deep pit from my point of view. He was on the edge and almost fell off. Karkat was crying.
Here we go again. The walls and floors, even the ceilings were painted in bright and dark colors. Every single color of the trolls. Of the rainbow. I honestly thought it was pretty. It lasted more than the last few times it happened...
I quickly ran to them, and pushed Gamzee off of the cliff.
Don't know why. Don't know how. Something, someone forced me. I saw grey, transparent arms grasping my arms and leg, pushing me over to him, forcing against my will to push him.
KK curled up in a ball, hugging his knees, and started to cry.
This mode didn't stop.
For the rest of the dream, everything was weird. It was eerie, and sketchy. Everything was scribbled.
Everything looked like it wasn't worth my time.

Dreamt that I went to my 6:15 a.m. conditioning class this morning, but I was unprepared and super self-conscious. I felt incompetent compared to the men's basketball team (who make up the majority of the class in reality), and I started emotionally beating up on myself for being "not good enough." I also felt self-conscious of my body, felt fat, and hated myself.
I think the main theme here is the belief of being not good enough. I have been struggling with that since arriving at college. I feel like I'm one of the only sober (due to my addiction/alcoholism) people on campus, and because of that I feel disconnected emotionally from much of the student body. This translates into me not feeling good enough, as well as feeling lonely. My "addict" tells me that I'm not good enough to be friends with most people here because my sobriety will get in the way of a relationship. I know that's not true with the logical side of my brain, however the emotional side of my brain is strong right now. When I don't feel good enough on the inside, I usually have crappy body image on the outside.

I was in a a party which was taking place in a large room which resembled the kitchen of my friend's house where we party in real life. The dream was fairly dark and dimly lit. In this dream I was also very drunk.

There was a small cupboard with two compartments in the corner of the room where I was sat. For some reason I sat in the cupboard for a while. There was a bottle of alcohol in there which I drank. There were also some snakes and some toad-like creatures. They looked like Toads but they had sharp little beaks - almost like a turtle. The snakes and Toads were hunting one another. My friend, Fred, who was there, found them extremely interesting.

When I was back in the main room I noticed that an old friend, Aiden, was sat just along from the cupboard. As I walked past, he threw something at me and I threatened him as a response. I sat down near him and noticed there were stacks of playing cards. I was shuffling through some. There were Legend of Zelda themed one's in there also. Aiden picked up some and threw them, one at a time, against the wall. They stuck in a sort of colarge way.

I got up and walked around a bit. At this point I could feel myself sobering up. Someone who I thought was my partner came into the room and I asked her if there was any more alcohol. But it turned out to be someone I didn't know. My partner came in for real after that.

Back in the main room, there was a guy asking where his alcohol, that he had hidden in the cupboard, had gone. I sat down and kept quiet. Then another friend, Eddie, asked the guy if he wanted some of his Toffee-Cider instead. I turned to Eddie and asked if I could have some.