Recent DJ Posts

okay there more to this dream but I waited to long and cant remember most of it,
but im dreaming about lucid dreaming so I guess technically im not lucid.

im running down a street and im moving things with my mind. I think I Remeber moving a car in to the air, I also remember seeing my hands out in front of me . I'm using them to move things. it make it 100% easier. I running down a street with tree running down on both sides. I turn right towards a house and look threw a big round centered window. My sister inside cowering and I crack the class with my mind. it spider web cracks all over. I move my hands around and cracks appear following the movements of my hand. I stick my hands threw the cracks of the glass but it doesn'tt hurt.

I let out an exhalation as my feet rise and fall on the hot sand. Its warmth ascends through my body as a light breeze glides across my skin, offering a relief from the hot sun in the clear sky overhead. The dunes of a vast white desert stretch out before me miles in every direction. I am alone. No one but me and the endless sand and dust in the wind.

A figure shows itself in the distance. A man? Standing out there on the dunes. His long robes flow in the wind as he stares, as if waiting for me to continue on with him. It could be nothing but a mirage, but he's there. Standing. Waiting.

To my left - sand. To my right - sand. I must follow this elusive stranger.

I attempt to quicken my pace, but my legs are slow and heavy. The sand grows deeper. Each step I take sinks down into the dunes beneath my feet. The weight of the sack over my shoulder slows my pace. Regardless of how close I seem to get, the mysterious stranger always seems to be half a mile ahead, each moment disappearing over another dune. My instinct to catch up to the him is strong, yet my skepticism comes forth. Is this a mystic or is this a trickster? An illusion or a real being? The tricksters encountered in the past have been many, drawing me into the depths of their schemes. Lured in by my curiosity and their promises of higher knowledge, only to find myself caught within their web of lies. Chained and held prisoner within a cave of endless illusory pleasures, staring at the shadows of the puppeteer behind me. Captivated with no choice of control and no freedom of thought as my neurological hardware finds itself hacked and rewired by a malevolent existential programmer. Food for the carnivorous fish in the deep sea of a predatorial universe starving for vital conscious energy.

However, this doesn't feel that way. I have a choice in the matter. I feel the ability to turn back at any moment. My heart tells me to continue on, that this is the way, and so I follow.

My legs are heavy and my breathing is slow in the thick desert air. Hours seem to pass by with a lost sense of time melting away into the sun as it beats down on my bare shoulders. As the seconds, minutes, or hours pass, however, I make it over the top of the tallest dune.

Below me is a vast canyon, spanning far to my left and right. The distance to its bottom looks staggering. Jagged rocks. Darkness. On the other side of the canyon resides a lush jungle. The sound of waterfalls and birds singing in the trees graces my ears. I know I have never been to this forest before, but something feels familiar and welcoming. Across the canyon stands the mysterious robed stranger. I look down, but see no way of crossing to the other side. He stares into my eyes, his gaze penetrating my soul. In those eyes I see my own. The deep blue. The white hair. This is so familiar. Something profoundly deep and eternal resides between us.

I look down at my hands and notice the white paws and fur covering my skin. This is me. He is me. That is who I am. As the realization hits me, a bridge forms. Frail and held together by nothing but some twine and a few boards, but there nonetheless.

I can't make it with this bag, however. If I lose it though, I lose the only sense of identity I have. I lose my past. I lose myself. Many times before have beings nearly tricked me into leaving my past behind. Tricked me into forgetting my name. The name of my family and ancestors. It binds us to ourselves. If we forget our name we forget what it means to be a human. So quick are we to give up our identities for the sake of achieving fame, recognition, or making a quick buck. Is it worth it though? Is this mysterious forest worth the risk?

Behind me lies the white desert, in front of me the lush mysterious jungle.

I don't have a choice. I must go. I drop the bag I'm holding and make my way slowly, but surely across the bridge. I feel lighter, I feel free. The bridge sways beneath my four paws and I attentively place each one, careful not to crack a single one of the boards. One misstep and I'll go cascading into the rocky chasm below. The boards creek with each step and the breeze blows against the fur of my ankles. One step. Two. Three. Four. I will make it across. There is no turning back.

I glance behind me to realize I'm halfway across. A surge of accomplishment and positive anticipation wells up through my veins. With the sense of achievement comes a spiral of light from every direction. Bursts of fire surround me. The bridge. It's transformed. Pure glass. Not a thin glass, however. Strong. Sturdy. Unbreakable. I look into the crystal flooring to see my reflection. I am older, no longer a young cub, and my mane has begun to grow. With each step I feel myself grow closer to wisdom.

As I step off the bridge I make my way over to the stranger in robes. He stands tall. A white lion. A wise sage, eyes filled with the wisdom of the ancients. His velvet robes embroidered in blue, black, green, and yellow designs. Natural and flowing, psychedelic, but not overwhelming. He stares into my eyes and with his gaze I know this spirit has been with me a long time. That he has been following me throughout my daily life, his silent words speaking to me through every experience, guiding me along the winding rivers. I know now this being is within me. My higher self. My future. My most true form.

We walk through a path in the forest and life permeates the air, spirits in every direction. When I close my eyes I feel the mother of our world, a great serpent. Wise and powerful, stern but loving. Her gaze is piercing. Right to the depths of my being. I know this is not my territory, but it is her territory. She offers it to us. She shares it, the comfort of her love pervading our every thought.

The jungle air is moist against my skin, the trees are tall, and the scent of flowers and flowing water is refreshing as it courses through my body. As we turn a corner in the path, a beautiful sanctuary reveals itself beyond the leaves of the forest. Mountains, hot springs, waterfalls, and lush foliage surround my companion and me. Within its center resides a pristine lake. Water so clear one can see all the way to the bottom, circular stones covering its floor. So white and round they could almost be eyes gazing up from the primordial depths of the Earth. The trees are the most pure green I've ever laid eyes upon. This is paradise.

My guide turns to me and smiles.

"Are you ready to find your destiny?"

And with that we walk off into the mesmerizing sanctuary before us, transfixed by the mysteries that await.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Planning my unplanned Trip


I dreamt...

I am living in a different house than my preset one.
I am hanging out with Travis B. (someone I know as a YouTube artist, an independent film maker from Southern California that I met once while he was premiering a film in Boston), and someone else, one or two others, maybe friends of Travis.

I am scheduled to leave very soon to go on vacation for 2-4 weeks. Soon. Tomorrow? Today! I'm scheduled to leave today, yet, I haven’t planned out my vacation at all! I haven’t planned where to go, what to do. and here I am packing. I’m packing for a vacation I know nothing about. What do I pack? Warm things, cold things? Sports equipment? Skis? Bathing suits? I start packing but then realize how futile, how ridiculous it is to pack for an event that hasn’t been defined. I put of leaving for my vacation since I haven’t make any plans. I tell myself, I’ll leave tomorrow. This makes sense, since I don’t know where to go. Yet I feel guilty, dumb, for postponing a vacation! These is precious and limited time, and here I am throwing one of the few days away. How .. dumb! Lazy. I berate myself for the stupidity and laziness, the lack of planning on my part that has led to losing a day of vacation.

I think back to my last vacation. I even describe it to someone, one of the women who is helping me research ideas and pinpoint a destination or theme.

My last vacation was a wandering road trip. It was adventure, activity, travel, and some workshops. I ended up, at one point, among other places, at a wonderful tropical resort. I did activities there, some with groups. I swam in beautiful places. And it was fun, engaging and beautiful. And, at towards the end, very lonely. I would look around and see that I was the only single person there. Everyone else were in couples. I ended up feeling sad and lonely, a bit left out.

So Travis and a couple others grab me and drag me out doors. We start walking around. They are scheming where to take me. One of the women we’re with knows the area, but is not exactly sure which road to take to get to where she wants to be. We start walking until she realizes we’re going the wrong way, and we turn around. They start running with excitement, now that we’re on the right path. I can’t keep up, because I’m so out of shape. I think to myself, “I am SO out of shape, I can’t even keep up with regular people. What am I thinking going on a vacation in this condition! I can’t do things that a vacationing person would want to do. This is pathetic. I am pathetic. I should just cancel this vacation, just scrap the whole idea. Hell, I don’t even have a plan. What was I thinking?!”

(I realize as we're walking along that I'm wearing a 2-piece bikini. We're walking through the neighborhood, and pass by a nearby beach, so I don't look out of place per se. Yet I realize I'm the only one in my little group in a 2-piece bathing suit. The other women are wearing a 1-piece. I feel so out of place, so self conscious! I am 40 pounds overweight, and feel I have no right wearing a 2-piece. I do what I can to suck in my gut, but it isn't something I can keep up. Oh, how I wish I had a shirt to wear over this, or a sarong to wrap around me!)

They take me into this really small library. But it isn’t a regular public library. It is a kind of small, specialized research station, maybe privately owned. They tear into it, dragging me along. I am not into it, but force myself to go along with it, since they are so enthusiastic - for me and my vacation. I force myself to look at the books on the floor-to-ceiling shelves. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I see nothing, I find nothing, I feel nothing - I am nothing. I hate myself, and am embarrassed that they are more excited about me and my trip, more excited about planning my trip than I am. but for their sake, I drag my body along the aisles with them, and force my eyes to pass across the shelves and shelves of books. Nothing.

They take me up to another floor of more of the same. I move sluggishly, forcing myself. Then something happens. I see something that catches my eye, and my interest. I begin to look around. We must be in the right section, because I like what I see. I begin to get excited, to become engaged in the process. I pull out books and flip through them. Ideas are bubbling up.

At one point, I am in this library, and I’m holding some sort of staff - a scepter (Dictionary definition: “An ornamented staff carried by rulers on ceremonial occasions as a symbol of sovereignty"). It is small, but Powerful. The kind a Monarch would hold to indicate position and royalty. One of the woman who brought me is lounging next to me. She watches me with a smile on her lips and excitement in her eyes. “It is Powerful, isn’t it. An Instrument of Power. It just makes you feel Big, Important, Powerful! Yes, it fits in your hand. You really ought to have one of these. Just to hold once in a while. Just to bring back to you this Feeling of Power. Yes. This sort of thing Belongs in your hand!” And she is exactly right! I look at it in my hand and wonder at how well it Fits.

I wonder how I can integrate this into my trip. I am not sure, but I will, somehow. Perhaps my journey will be a search of how to integrate this, a Journey. While I don’t know the destination of my trip, I now have a Direction.