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Have been out of state on vacation this weekend. Picked up a cute little pocket-booklet that I can easily bring to work and jot down quick notes about my dreams. Had notes for a couple, but I didn't feel like trying to type them out on a phone, because ew. Am home now, which means it's time for another....

BARE-BONES ENTRY OF MEDIOCRITY

Nightmare

Ugh, this always happens when I need to do it in real life. In and out of bathrooms I go, unable to find relief. My anxiety over using restrooms in public doesn't help matters. Neither does finding that all stalls in one of the bathrooms are weird plastic pod things with seats that are pretty much totally exposed. Even when I finally score a suitable stall--a nice roomy one against the wall--and lock it, somehow another girl barges in right as I'm sitting down. I consider waking up, but decide trying to scrounge up a shirt to use the actual bathroom isn't worth the trouble, and instead head back into the theatre.

Guns

This can't be happening. No. No fucking way.

I hurry out of the car, reaching for my phone, as the man who just shot my father notices me and steps around the vehicle. Black jacket, spiky white hair, he's obviously a punk. A punk with a gun leveled at my head. I manage to get the police on the line and quickly relay the fact that my dad has been shot, but realizing it's going to be several minutes before any help arrives I hastily toss the phone to the tiled ground.

For my dad's sake, I take matters into my own hands.

Dipping behind a triangular structure, I bait the punk, pointing my finger at him like a gun and saying "bang!"--like a damn child. Nothing's happening, so I consider switching to a sword, but decide No, I can make this work. At this point, the punk has fallen for the bait, following after me as I swing around the freestanding obstacle. He's on the other side now, expecting to catch up to me around the corner, but he's also an idiot, so it's only natural he looks so dumbfounded as I seemingly defy gravity and vault over the barrier. As I descend in a long arc, I pull from my Modern Warfare 2 and Halo Archetypes and fire a few rounds from my finger gun, which has taken on the properties of both a Desert Eagle and M6G Pistol. One of the shots connects with his shoulder and I hear that trademark soundclip signaling I've made a hit, but he's still standing.

Running even.

Leaping down, into an atrium.

I leap after him, but he's landed and already taking aim.

He shoots...it's a perfect shot.

I'd be dead to rights, the bullet taking me between the eyes, but this is me we're talking about.

My perception slows as I track the searing lead. Moving at inhuman speeds, I dart my head to the side, avoiding the shot completely. Again, the punk seems surprised. Landing on one foot, I immediately push off towards the walls, dashing and gliding along them whilst unleashing a flurry of bullets. Most find their mark and punk finally goes down...

Later, at the police station, I embrace my father. He's alive and healthy, and I couldn't be more relieved.

_______________

So it's been years - seriously - since I've had a lucid dream that lasted for more than a second or two. Until two nights ago.

I discovered lucid dreaming on my own, and it was incredible. Mine were never super vivid - like they always felt hazy - but they did happen quite often, and I could always fly. My sleep cycle as a kid and teenager was really screwed up, mainly because OCD and insomnia kept me up late into the night, and I had to wake up early for school and such.

But then I started taking melatonin nightly, and lived a more regular albeit hectic schedule. On one hand, this was awesome, because I slept and felt better. But I also slept deeply. To the point where my dreams became less vivid, and in the rare event I would become conscious, I would be so exhausted that I'd just let myself become unconscious again. When you only have 4 or 5 hours to sleep...suffice it to say that isn't very good for lucid dreaming.

I have been fighting to get back to where I used to be, and I want my dreams to be more vivid, too! My efforts have finally been paying off.

So, the dreams from two nights ago! This night was the first effective MILD I've done. I basically told myself "I'm dreaming" until I fell asleep.

The lucid one! : I was standing amongst mountains, in a pine forest. It looked like I was on a lower part of a mountain, but a mountain indeed. There were a lot of people around, and a parking lot - seemed like a national park of some sort - and there were lots of tall mountains around me. We seemed to be on a cliff as well. I managed to realize I was lucid pretty quickly. I think it was because I realized I could fly! I was with my brother, and I yelled in excitement something along the lines of "WE'RE DREAMING!" I did upside-down pull-ups on the railing and all sorts of things, and I felt weightless. It was fantastic, and more vivid than I'm used to, too.

It was also foggy. Very foggy. I could see around me, but off the side of the cliff everything was mostly obscured by fog.

I decided to explore this building which seemed to be built into the mountain. Inside the building, there were towels everywhere, and a bunch of secret passageways. My brother came along with me. I happened to stumble upon a bathroom, and as I entered, I heard this gasp and saw a blurry reflection of a girl through some glass. All skin, maybe a shower cap? I don't remember! She must've just finished taking a shower or something. It looked like someone else was in there, too, but I couldn't tell. I figure the reason she gasped was because I accidentally walked in on her!

Aaaaaaand then I woke up. -_- But hey! I had a lucid dream for the first time in YEARS! Hard work pays off. I know this now. I hope this can continue into the school year. I don't want nights where I only sleep 3 or 4 hours anymore. I never liked those. I will do my best to improve on my time management so I won't have to (hopefully). I will do everything that I can.

Note to self: the reality check of whether or not I can fly is seeming to be more effective than checking my watch or my phone. But we will see.

Other, non-lucid dreams...

- For some reason, I had to move in with the parents of a friend of mine who lives in Nevada. I felt really lonely, even though they were really nice and friendly.
- Another friend of mine (who ironically knows the first friend) was with me in this glass house that overlooked the city below. There were a bunch of paintings kids had done, and they were sitting and drying on the floor. The floor was glass so you could see down below. We were probably just a few stories into the air. The city lights below were actually quite beautiful. If only I had become lucid during this one. That city would've been fascinating to explore.
- Apparently, some girl, younger than me, kissed me on the neck. I have essentially zero recollection of this one, but that's what it says in my dream journal. I actually do think she may have been blonde with blue eyes. But I don't remember any kissing...
- Another friend (yep, another! who happens to know the first two, I think!) was riding in this car or carriage or something. He was really famous, but he stopped to say hi. I was in a really crowded street, if I recall correctly.

But then the next night, I experienced zero lucidity, and I think I fell asleep when I was trying to write down a dream. Thus, the only notes I have are "Stormy and rain outside - some papers wet."

Very anticlimactic to the previous night beforehand, which was a shame because the prior night had been so captivating. Oh well. I tried sleeping in since I had nothing going on until church in the afternoon, but I couldn't sleep. I just laid there and felt wide awake. So I just watched We Bare Bears on YouTube instead. Wham!

#464 - 6PM - DILD

Took a nap this evening and found myself in some house talking to Tonya. I knew I was dreaming and thought that I had a brief amount of lucidity just a few moments ago. I recalled something about ghost. I'm not sure it was an actual memory or just a feeling, but I liked the idea. I grabbed Tonya by the shoulders and said, "Tonya, this house is haunted." I felt a presence behind and some fear rising, but as I turn to look, I wake up.

My second lucid. I'm having difficulty remembering dream goals when lucid. Something to work on. Need to work on incubating dreams better.

I wake up, everything is dark. Something triggers me to do a reality check, so I plug my nose and try to breathe. I can still breathe. I try the nose plug RC again, just to be sure. Same result. I know I am dreaming. I become lucid.

I throw off my sheets and walk to my door. I try to walk through the door but get stuck. Maybe my eyes are poking out, though, because I can see on the other side. Stairs lead down to the first floor and all the lights are on.

I guess my mother must have been awake, because she hears me rustling around upstairs and decides it is a good time to hand me my laundry. I groan because I don't want to bother with this and I want to go and explore. She comes up stairs and tries to open my door, but only the top half opens. Instead of handing me laundry, however, she hands in some hangers. I grab them, shut the door, and then decide to go out the window.

I walk to the window and put my head through. No resistance. I struggle out and collapse on a sloping ceiling. Looking down I can see that there is a field in front of me. Green shrubs spattered with snow dot the landscape while the grass poked out of a layer of white like green confetti stars out of white frosting. I look down and am amazed at how real everything feels. I have a bit of trepidation at the notion of jumping down, but I know it is a dream. I jump and land softly and without any harm.

There are a bunch of DCs doing various things on this sunlit, winter morning. Some are tobogganing, some are skiing, others are having a massive snowfight. I see one DC, an African-American (or perhaps an African) who is building a snow fort while singing this song. It was very rhythmic and it was just nonsense words: "Woyoyoyoyoyoyoyo," repeated again and again.

A thought flashes through my mind that I can have sex with anyone I want, but I push it aside. I don't want to waste my time. So I walk towards the African-American DC. When I arrive he has this big djembe drum. I immediately decide that having a drum circle would be an awesome idea.

Other DCs join and they all have drums. Some have djembes, others have snare drums, others have those drums that Native Americans use during ceremonies and that you beat with a stick. I don't have a drum, however, so I decide to try to summon one. I look at the bare ground before me, look away, and look back. It doesn't work the first time, so I try again. This time this tiny little djembe drum appears. Its an teensy little thing, and I'm disappointed that I didn't get a huge drum like the African-American DC. I go with it, though, and bend down to pick it up, cradling it in the crook of my left elbow as I beat a rhythm out with my right.

We get into the flow of each other's rhythms, sometimes elaborating polyrhythms over another drummer's, sometimes establishing our own. We sing "Woyoyoyoyoyoyoyo," over and over again as we drum. I feel like I have known these guys forever, like there is some sort of mystical brotherhood between us. I feel love for all of them, and drumming sounds amazing. We start moving our bodies to the rhythms and dancing. Our rhythms are tribal.

Then this woman walks out from the building where my bedroom was (which at some point had morphed into a college dormitory), and tells us to be quiet because people are still trying to sleep. This is complete nonsense, of course, at it is obviously in the middle of the day. But I guess I must have only been semi-lucid at this point, because I don't protest. She'd ruined the vibe anyways.

Before I put down my little drum, however, I remember what AnotherDreamer had said to me about stabilizing your dream by studying objects in the dreamworld. I look at my drum and on the side the words "Breast No.15" was written. I decide to do another reality check and look away and look back, trying to see if the text changed. It did. When I looked at it the second time it said "Brassers 15."

The dream shifts to another location without my knowledge or any transition. We are in a large white room with comfortable tables. The DCs from the drum circle are sitting around talking. I decide to fly and find that it really is quite easy. I fly around the room and nobody thinks it is weird. There is a little alcove to the side where two DCs are talking over a table. I enter the alcove and bounce between the two walls over their head. On one of my approaches I twist around so I am flying towards them butt first. "Aerial attack!" I scream as I let off a massive fart right over their heads. They choke and gag and I start laughing hysterically. I start to feel myself wake up, but I see one of the DCs raise his fist towards me and shake it angrily.

"Goddamn ye, dreamer!" he says, in a thick Scottish accent.