Recent DJ Posts

The Jesus voice was telling me to give more Bible study for Jamie. Like I said: Saved by grace through faith. That's How The Bible speaks to me. I know it can seem confusing especially reading contradictory things. Jesus taught faith is what saves. His examples of strict laws in his sermons are to show us how helpless we are under the law and why his grace is needed. The new testament is written by many authors. Paul is the grace guy. Other authors were about works. Paul was sent to evangelize the existing early churches to teach them grace, not law practice. People like James wrote his epistle before the events in Acts chapters 14-15.

Now study some things in the Old testament regarding grace. Some examples: The story of Sampson - a man who never listened to God's commands, but at the end was given strength once more because of his faith to accomplish his task.

Other things in the OT that testify to Jesus. Cain vs Abel's offering. Jacob and his brother Esau. Jacob gets his brother's blessing for dressing up like Esau for their father - much like We get saved by Jesus' perfect record so God doesn't see our record but Jesus.

Avoid certain churches that teach legalism - faith plus works. Many church goers are like the Pharisees that Jesus was always against.

Anyway DREAMS.

Crazy

I'm in Fortnite or something. I'm shooting at a juiceWRLD skin while running up a ramp. Me and my team get shot out. We are falling and suddenly we are all tied to this metal wire thing. We are falling slow mo.

I look over at Jamie... She's tied to the falling thing too and next to her is a porn star looking woman. The woman's boobs are hanging out... Not hanging... But sticking out. Like two giant balloons are under the skin. Her and Jamie are vibing. Jamie is seduced by her. Then Jamie whispers to her that she also wants to do drugs... It's here I wake up.

And ummm. Like I already said. I live a clean lifestyle. I don't mind people who smoke weed. Anything risky at all I'm not okay with (especially Coke). My current living situation is not an emotionally safe place. I'm not looking to escape from this place into another unsafe place.

As for the other thing. Not much to say. If one thing is going to Tempt her into another thing. I wouldn't do it. I have my own sexual temptations as well. Jamie knows them if she really hears the voices in my head. Jesus has told me many times when tempted that it leads to death.

I had a Jamie dream last night that I can't recall.

Work

I was working with my Dad. The house had newspaper all over the walls... He told me to sand them.

So I had this bad dream last night. There were five people in the dream. Me, Dad and my sister were visiting someone(5th). (There was a 4th person who was not Mom but was also a visiting person and they're in the car as well). I was going to get back int the car. I was going to get into a different seat but for some reason I couldn't so I closed that door, and I opened up another car door. But before I could get into the car Dad is driving off.--so I'm like holding on for dear life yelling at Dad and sister to "STOP THE CAR I"M NOT IN THE CAR YET" and the two in the front (Dad/Sis) are telling me to *shut up" and "put my seatbelt on" not realizing I am NOT in the car to even be able to put a seatbelt on. I think Dad says that "If I don't stop Complaing I can walk home or find my own way home"

I think we're like driving for 20-30mins in the dream with that "conversation" happening over and over again until I had to wake up because the bathroom was calling me.

So I had a short dream but it was a nightmare.

I dreamed Mom and Dad were leaving the house to take a vacation from me. Similar to the vacation they had back in 2012. So i was going to be staying in the house by myself. The parents and I were in the front hall together-mom was talking to me I think giving me instructions-but for all I know it could have been "peas and carrots" or "strawberries and rhubarb". So Mom and I stepped out on the porch- I was going to see my parents off to whether it was they're going- some place in Ontario at least since they're going to take the car. In the dream, I was dressed in my junk clothes, and I had no keys on me since I was going straight back into the house. And I guess at some point between Dad going out onto the porch and Mom and I going out on the porch - Dad went back inside the house because Dad came back outside the house and closed the door and started to lock the door. I started yelling at Dad "DON'T LOCK THE DOOR! DON'T LOCK THE DOOR!" I might have done it three times before I woke up since the bathroom was calling me. It took me an hour I think to go back to sleep from 7:35am to 8:35am.

Is this website dying? seems no one DJ's here after the spring competition...

On the last entry: The "drive by". I heard the Jamie voice in my head apologize for that or something. No! It's okay. I go stir crazy sometimes trying to figure how "real," what I am experiencing is. To show up on the day I post about something distressing... Nah, you threw me a line girl! Thanks.

BTW if Jamie reads these. Because of my situation at home, my cousin just offered me a room in Lethbridge, I can get my old job back, I'm on 3 delivery apps, and i have the basic skills to start a side business. You KNOW how mentally unhealthy my family is. It's triggering for me here. I understand I was put here for now, to be closer to your area, for a reason. I'll hold out for as long as I can. But, if it gets really bad here. I gotta run. I'll let ya know. I'd hate to because it seems like a phenomenal amount of progress has been made between us.

Anyway dreams:

Jamie is crazy

FA, get out of bed and I see it's hailing out and there's a big storm (It's also night time.) I don't think to RC. I hear my brother say he hopes Jen makes it home okay. I hear a crash and I hear Jamie's voice from the kitchen say, "Rob, come look!" I run into the kitchen and see Jamie (As Jen) standing behind my dad. There's an acoustic guitar smashes over him. Parts of the wood are stabbed inside his body and the strings are cutting him. He's awake but makes no sound. I keep asking, "Um Should I call an ambulance?" Jamie keeps saying while grinning, "No, I think he'll make it."

Remind me to NEVER really piss Jamie off... my god.

Work

I'm working in some large building with storeys. I'm new, but everyone is wearing Wal-Mart vests. I see Jamie as a different girl. and the nametag says, "Julie," I have false memories, of working in another town with a girl that looked like her name ,"Julia.". Jamie's eyes widen in fear and she runs past me. Her friend (The one I met at the metal party at the airstrip in didsbury.) says something like, "Oh I think she likes you. Just let her make all the moves on you, she will." and I'm like, "Okay, i'm pretty shy with that stuff anyway so it's nice when someone else takes initiative." But in the middle of the sentence the girl I'm taking to is replaced by a chubby woman with grey hair. She yells at me, "Stop talking and get to work."

bed

FA, Jamie and her friend walk into my bedroom. I see Jamie as Katelynn now (Great now my perception of her is off again). I'm like, "I haven't seen you in so long we should have a hug." (knowing it's really Jamie.) Jamie goes to hug me in bed but turns around and I hug her from behind. Her behind is literally on my you know what again. But her friend drags her off the bed an out of the room. (note: In addition to the voice, While going to sleep or waking up in the middle of the night or early morning. There is a phantom sense of Jamie with me. I experience hugs, and other things. And I have read other "Twin Flames" have gone through this as well. While I think I'm going crazy, I do find it comforting.)

Last night.

Two brief flashes


In one Jamie is prancing some other guy around in front of me. I start getting mad and Raven says something like, "She just needs healing"

in the second Flash. I'm watching peaceful energy go over Jamie. Her vacant, glassy eyes become whole again. She looks at me and smiles. and we grab our hands together.

Some really good dreams this past couple of days. Someone must have really liked my last entry!

Jamie 1

I'm outside a bar with Jamie. The same one from a while ago. It's a real place in Didsbury, the two bars facing one another practically across the street. Jamie is just being goofy. She has these napkins and keeps putting chipotle sauce on napkins and trying to make me eat it. WTF. No Chick-Fil-A sauce?

Jamie 2

Same place again. It's night time. We are alone and it's really late. Jamie goes up to an old grey car and starts trying to remove the headlight.

A bunch of other jamie flashes but they are too short to comprehend.

Next night:

Family outing

I'm with family in calgary, apparently visiting my Mom. We are in a park near the bow river but everything looks different than normal. I'm up on a hill and below is a grizzly bear, but it seems friendly. I find a bounce thing that propels you in the air. I jump on it and fly high over bridges. When I land I'm in a truck with my dad. We are in an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly I'm in a mall and Jamie is on my right and my dad is on my left. He make a really rude comment when we pass by some ice cream and smoothie stand. There's two small vats with flavored milk with a beater in each. He says since me and Jamie are lovers we should get an idea from those mixers... It makes no sense but it sounds sexual and rude. I just ignore it. I try to lean against Jamie while I walk and she almost stumbles or trips. I apologize and she puts her arm around me. I notice I'm eating a bunch of mini plain doughnuts from a small paper bag. I go to eat one and Jamie tries to grab it out of my hand. I give it to her. I say, "I don't like the taste of these anyway." As they are pretty bland. That's all I remember.

Audio only dream

I hear both me and Jamie reciting The Lord's Prayer together.

The real Jesus.

In my vision I see something like a nice painting. It resembles Jesus Baptizing Jamie in a stream.

I really hope it's true.

Fragment:
My dad is being investigated by a stereotypical gumshoes style detective.

Champion of Farore:
I’m in a volcano area. Similar to Death Mountain Crater from Ocarina of Time.
There is a game mechanic where you must choose one of the three goddesses to support. I’ve chosen Farore.
She has a large wizardly looking hat. This outfit that has the best stats, but there is another more simple one with tan cloth.
There is a menu screen similar to Final Fantasy. I’m using an item called token and it teaches a move with very high special attack called Prometheus. But it won't be active until tomorrow. I understand this to mean tomorrow, real world time (not game time).
To progress, you have to equip and unequip specific gear to show support to your goddess and then talk to npcs by doors leading deeper into the mountain.
My point of view is similar to Pokemon now, where there are trainers that must be defeated with the gear equipped.
Din’s trainer is a bulky looking bald guy, and he is the last one I need to defeat.
The doors have opened pre-emptively but I go to defeat the last trainer anyway for the experience points.

Fragment:
I’m in a park area, and there is a bulletin board in front of me. There is a war happening. Chaotic scene.

I was visiting my father at the chemical plant he works at. It looked different. We talked a bit. He was at his desk. Then I left, saying "see you this evening!" because we'd agreed I'd come over later that evening. Note: IRL, I have indeed agreed to meet my dad later this evening.

Wanting Flight:
I'm in a house structured like the standard Alliance floor-plan from World of Warcraft.
If you know the game, think the two-floor homes in Moonbrook, except well-maintained.
It is day-time. There is a super-hero dead facedown in the yard. He has feathers and I surmise that he had bird-powers.
I'm taking the body upstairs, and I'm trying not to be seen.
At some point while traveling up the stairs, the body transforms, leaving only the outfit.
I may have been trying to steal the hero's powers.

Manuevering:
I'm at my childhood home. My Dad is on the phone with the water company, working out bills.
He might have been trying to negotiate a better rate.
...
I'm upstairs with my niece, B, and she is smaller than she is in waking life.
We're in my brother and I's room, rifling through a set of drawers near the front of the room.
I'm worried that B will find age-inappropriate stuff in the drawer, and she does.
I quickly hide the stuff, and try to draw her attention elsewhere.
...
I'm up by the upstairs bathroom with my Uncle J. He is holding what looks like a document from waking life work.
He's trying to talk down to me, as if he knows it better than I do (he does not).
I try to let him down easy, not keen on allowing him to act this way, but also not wanting to hurt him.
...
My Grandma and my Mom are in the living room.
I'm on my way out of the house.
I've left, but forgotten something.
I go back and they give me a drinkable yogurt.

Fragment:
I'm in a hotel with two levels.
My Dad and my Uncle J are there with me.
My Uncle is looking at something on Google Maps.
One of them has thrown a cigarette bud into a trash can.
I'm concerned this will cause a fire.

Return to the Hilltop Arcade:
My friends G and A are sitting on a bench, watching the sunset.
It's my birthday, and there is a cake-like pastry sliced into four parts.
There is a Dave and Buster's like arcade behind the bench.
This arcade is the one from my previous dream in September, where I met Arin Hanson.
...
The space has changed into a big factory. Intuitively I know that the working conditions are bad.
I'm escaping in a sequence similar to the one in the game Portal.
There's a monologue at the end that sounds hopeful.


The Hilltop Arcade. Made with Bing Image Creator AI.

Into the Square:
I'm riding a CATA bus from college, but I don't know where I am going.
I realize that I should pull the string to get off on the next stop and I find it on my right.
There's a building nearby and I go in, thinking I would like to buy a t-shirt.
Inside it looks like a mailroom, with a small square entryway in the center of the wall in front of me.
...
I'm through the square hole now and I see my coworker J getting makeup done by a team on my left.
He's sitting down in a chair in front of some lockers.
It looks like a large locker room.
My friend H from the Tots comes through the square hole, but she is mad at me.
Somehow I have messed up the entryway, and she pulls out a banana peel from it.

Coffee Splash:

I'm in a long square-like room, sort of like a trailer.
My Grandpa R has just died, and his casket is on display.
I keep thinking that the body is going to stand up.
Highly emotional feelings. My Dad is there with me.
We're tasked to set the casket aflame in some ritual and we are hesitating to do it.
Later in this process the casket goes down a serpentine system of pipes into fluid.
...
Later I am in a huge banquet hall-like building, with a theater attached.
I'm walking over to a concessions stand. I find a couple of fruits with barcode stickers and try to scan them.
A woman nearby says that this cannot be bought, even though the scan goes through.
...
I've come home to my current garage. There is a small circular folding table setup.
My laptop is setup there, and my brother has an identical one setup for him next to it.
My sister is with us as well.
I'm having an argument with my brother. He thinks I'm being too easy-going, and not allowing our sister to mourn.
This makes me angry, because I want to deal with grief my own way.
I notice a cold mug of coffee on the table, and I splash it in his face.
Trying to remove myself from the situation, I start to pick-up and leave.
My brother grabs my laptop's power cord, preventing me from going.
I wake up angry.

Shooting for the Girl:

I'm on a roadtrip with my girlfriend, her mom, and a young guy.
The guy is a friend of my girlfriend's mom, and I suspect that she is positioning him as my replacement.
I'm checking out at the counter, buying some snacks. I pay for the guy's food, trying to be cordial.
He seems to appreciate it, not outwardly trying to steal my girlfriend. He is friendly.
We leave and head outside. We are driving a large semi-truck.
A middle-eastern looking man follows us outside and seems angry.
He points out that I'm carrying wrappers, and going to make a mess in the car.
I notice a dumpster nearby and try to basketball-shoot the crumpled wrappers into it.
My shot is miserable. Embarrassed, I pick-up the clump and place it in the dumpster.
I'm worried that bad shot just affected my chances against the guy.

Game Night:

I'm playing a Yu-Gi-Oh inspired card game with my girlfriend.
Taking just a couple turns, I've already cleared her side of cards and attacking her life points.
The values on the cards are in the single digits.
...
Later I'm playing a mid-generation Pokemon game.
Looks like it might have been DS or 3DS era, with animated 2D sprites.
I'm controlling a Magneton, except it is made from four Magnemites instead of the usual three.
I use an attack called Tetraelectro Blast or something similar.
The animation has four distinct stages with accompanying sound.
Basically, it looks accurate to the games.
...
I'm in a Yu-Gi-Oh duel with someone in a large empty warehouse.
The atmosphere is dark and foreboding.
We have fully 3D virtual monsters, like in the show.
My opponent has summoned the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon.
But it is multiplying. Four heads. Five heads. Six heads...
It's the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Hydra now.
The entire warehouse is filled with the oppressively huge heads and necks of the monster.
This monster gets so comically large that I'm nearly trapped by the slithering necks moving around me.
I see a light on my left side. I duck by one of the snaking necks and escape.


The Blue-Eyes Ultimate Hydra. Made with Bing Image Creator AI.

False Awakening:

I wake up and start telling my girlfriend about the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Hydra.
She has put a couple Monster Energy drinks on the foot of the bed for me.
My room is perfectly rendered, down to the real-life detail that my girlfriend is up early for an important work meeting.
I go over to the bathroom and look in the mirror.
I see that my eyes are large and white, with the pupils faded like a blind person's.
I start to freak out and wonder what is wrong!
The eyes correct themselves after I blink a few times.

Muddied Water:

I'm meeting with friends (the Tots) somewhere.
I arrive first, at a Wal-Mart like store. I'm searching for a bathroom.
I see AG hugging somebody who isn't her boyfriend, while MD (the boyfriend) is returning from a nearby isle.
The store then changes into something more like a Toys-R-Us.
...
I'm in a dark and cramped escape-room type area. There are some dark purple plants covering the walls.
There are some pots holding the plants, and the pots are filled with dirty looking water.
...
I'm holding a glass of water, and it has the 'dirty' property from the escape room scene.
I'm standing in a hallway at HM's house that isn't normally there.
I accidently spill the water, and my Dad starts to criticize me before I have a chance to explain it wasn't my fault. Stressful moment.
My Dad is in a full suit, and is explaining something work-related to HM.

Falling into the Drink:

I'm with my girlfriend and my Dad. We are at a sort of lakeside pier in a city area. It's day-time.
My Dad has walked off, and I'm talking to my girlfriend quietly.
I make a comment about how he is probably looking for some bar to have a drink.
I express some resentment there. My girlfriend nervously agrees with me, not wanting to offend.
...
Later I'm on a small paddleboat going into the lake. I'm worried about falling in.

Learning to Drive:

It's night and I'm leaving a game night at JM's (Tots) house.
I'm with EP from highschool combination rackets. Her dad is coming to pick us up.
The car is a beat up old Expedition. We sit in the back.
...
We get to EP's home and it is a small condo/apartment. It's dirty as well.
I see a large smartwatch adhered to the wall, meant to act as a regular wall-clock.
There is a bag of fast food on the ground. It might have been Firehouse Subs.
...
Later I'm downtown somewhere that reminds me of Las Vegas. I'm near a parking structure stairwell.
My girlfriend's Dad is supposed to meet us at a restaurant soon.
There is some sort of event related to car sustainability going on.
...
I'm at my high-school parking lot.
I've just bought a brand new car, but my Dad is in the driver's seat.
I'm very annoyed that he is trying to drive it before I do, so I ask him to give up the spot to me.
He does, but when I get in, I notice that he has only partially moved out of it.
He is sitting in the passenger seat, but his left leg is still under the wheel.
I'm struggling to fit in the driver's seat, and my Dad is struggling to fit in the passenger seat.

Went to bed at 10:30PM.

Teleport Sprints:
I'm in a highschool hallway that reminds me of one from the show, Stranger Things.
HM is there and she has an umbrella. We have a brief conversation about some other function the umbrella has and she leaves.
She's going to catch a bus, and I'm late for that bus. I try to catch up but I can't.
...
I'm leaving JM's house after a game-night, but my car isn't around. I remember that I teleported here.
I walk into the road and find a long stretch of open space.
I break into a sprint and close my eyes. It reminds me of what Ness does in the intro to Super Smash Bros Melee.
https://earthbound.fandom.com/wiki/Teleport
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXs4-M-ZiOg (at 1:02).
When I open them, I've teleported to my childhood home.
My friends are inside and they have used the kitchen chairs to make a fort.
At one point a drink gets knocked into JM's face.
...
I'm with my Dad and my Mom driving on a mountain road. Dad is driving and Mom is in the front passenger seat.
There is a lake far down below us, and my Dad gets too close to the railing.
We go over the edge. We are all panicking less than we should be as we go into freefall.
I start to think about how I can survive. I think about undoing my seatbelt so that I don't get stuck underwater, or opening a door so that the water pressure doesn't hold them all shut.
We impact the water and it isn't that bad. Turns out the water was not as deep as it looked.
The car careens forward and then we do hit a larger body of water.
I wonder if I can teleport my Mom away, but then I realize that I need a runway to do so.
...
I'm at work with GO and CP. We are on the 2nd floor of our building, but it looks like it has elements of my middle school bandroom.
There is a woodshop water fountain (the same one that was in the bandroom) and GO gets water in his face from mis-operating it.
Another DC tells me "the woman is from the Maw, the Underworld".

Recorded at 6:30AM.

372 words for the night.

Parts of these dreams felt semi-lucid. As in, I was using dream control to address situations that I thought presented danger.
I'm excited that my mind gave me a way to teleport. Can't wait to try the teleport sprint in my next true lucid dream

Went to bed around 12:00AM.

Messy Awakenings:
I have a false awakening on my couch (where I currently was sleeping in waking life).
My uncle J is sleeping nearby. My dad is there and tells me that I should move to the bed so I don't hurt in the morning.
I heed the advice and head to my bed. When I entered the room, my sister is in my bed and there are some blankets and pillows on the floor.
The room is larger than I recall in waking memory but I don't pick up on the inconsistency at the time.
So as not to disturb my sister, I lie down on the floor and go to sleep.
While I don't recall exactly, I think this is where I must have reality checked and became lucid, because I realized that I had just gone to sleep, so I should reality check.
I'm now lucid in this larger version of my bedroom. My first thought is to take a deep breath and try to stabilize the dream.
But I'm not lucid enough to follow through and start engaging the senses. I only get through the deep breath.
While I do start to think about the dream being 'biological virtual reality', I don't truly engage with the question deeply.
I see a window at the end of the room and remember that I want to go to a new landscape.
I recall the blink-and-snap method for traveling from a Daniel Love video.
I close my eyes, imagine a grassy forest environment, and snap my fingers.
The ground underneath me has transformed into AstroTurf, but no forest.
I lose lucidity shortly after this.
...
Sometime later, I've regained lucidity and I'm with a girl that I know is my sister's friend. We're at my Grandma's condo.

Spoiler for Spicy Content:

She's angry with me about something. Out of pocket, I say "Well obviously the solution is to blow me."
Surprisingly, she agrees. I'm pretty excited about this. Another girl shows up and joins her. I can see the details of their faces...and what is on them.

When the activities are over, I consider whether I actually did finish in waking life.
I'm concerned about that, but it also transfers to the dream. I hurriedly try to make my way to a bathroom to inspect myself.
I'm now at the top of the stairs at my grandma's current condo. As I head down the stairs, it makes a lot of noise to my dismay.
But luckily it doesn't alert anyone.
I find a side door that I think leads to the bathroom.
There is an in-between passage that has another set of doors past it. There is a black poodle dog in here.
My sister is hot on my heels, and she chases me into the room.
But I hide behind the door as it opens (that's a classic trick of mine) and she doesn't find me. The dog gets a bit crunched as the door opens, but it doesn't mind.
After this I sneak my way to the bathroom to inspect, but I lose lucidity along the way.

Recorded at 1:08AM.

War Games:
I'm in a war. In the moment, it felt like a training camp, but later the dream treated it as if it had been actual combat.
I'm with a group of people, perhaps a platoon. The area is sandy and surrounded by wooden walls on all sides.
We're running forward trying to reach cover. The cover is on the left, and there is an enemy soldier sitting on a chair on the right.
I can't recall, but I may have attempted to shoot the soldier in the chair as I ran for the cover.
...
I'm in a room. We've lost the war, so I'm being held there as a prisoner.
I'm thinking about whether my friends are OK and what will happen to us.
TH from somewhat recently at work in waking life arrives at my holding area.
He is there to tell me that the others are OK.
Then, back to isolation.
...
Sometime later my niece shows up at the back window (the window is up high, since the room is partially underground).
I try to hide under a desk in the room because I don't want her to have to deal with her uncle being imprisoned.
She doesn't find me.
...
A phone in the room rings and I answer. The person on the line tells me that there might be a chance of me getting out.
There is a form that I can fill out and if done correctly I can leave isolation.
I pickup the form and go outside to where the guards are outside.
I approach them and ask what my options are.
One part of the form is asking whether I actually killed any enemy combatants.
I honestly couldn't recall if I had killed the man in the chair, and the guards seemed compassionate to my memory inaccuracy.
...
I'm in a cafeteria eating, so perhaps they let me go.

Recorded at 7:53AM.

Bathroom Wonder:
I'm in my childhood home, it is about highschool timeframe.
My friend DR is visiting, and my brother and him are across the hallway playing Super Mario Bros Wonder in the basement living room.
I'm in the downstairs bathroom, trying to rub one out. I recall thinking that I had been playing Zelda Twilight Princess recently (but I'm not sure why this detail is here).
The toilet I am sitting at is on the opposite wall that it should be,
I can hear my brother and DR talking about how good of a game Wonder is, in terms of the level design and how the music interacts with it.

Recorded at 7:53AM.

940 words for the night.