• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. February 20, 2018 Non-Lucid

      by , Yesterday at 07:10 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      The earliest dream I remember was at my dad's old house. We were inside his living room and there were dogs everywhere. His dog Charlie was laying on top of Simon and we were laughing at that. We go into our driveway and across the street to the neighbors house. Out front is Mike Pence and his wife. I look down and apparently I'm wearing a Mike Pence shirt. We all go up and introduce ourselves to them.

      Walking back across the street I see the garage is open and dark. I know this place is haunted in some way. I'm waiting for something scary to happen but it doesn't. Other things happen in the dream but I remember I had left and then come back to the front porch. On the front porch is my dad and sister talking.

      Another dream I'm at my friend Nate's house but it's really someone else's house. I'm there with a bunch of people in this one room doing a raid boss for WoW. We spend about 10 minutes on this fight where at the beginning two orbs make a lightning pathway and then the rest of the people need to find a path around it sort of like snake. We realize the two people leading the orbs really messed it up so we have to start all over. I get up and say that we're going to take a break. People go off into other rooms doing things. Some take showers and I know I'm trying to take one as well. Sam and I sort of fight for one and then he tells me I can and I tell him he can.

      At some point Korri is driving over to her house which is in Castle Wood and I'm tempted to ask her to stop at my mom's house so that I can shower and pick up some clothing. We stop at her place and I can see these two guys in front of me dressing up in shirts and ties but the ties are really messy and they're complaining. I laugh at little but know I need to get ready for this New Year's Celebration.

      I'm not sure about the timeline to the other dreams but I was ultimately trying to get to this New Year's celebration. The scene was over by the KC apartments but there were bars set up and this river/jungle to the right. We were walking by the bars and someone suggested these places, I was reading each of their signs aloud. One was to the right and purple inside. Eventually we're in the different bars. At one bar there were people in clusters under this roof over a bar where a bartender was serving drinks. I think I was trying to help someone talk to a girl or vice versa, I'm not really sure but we were going in between clusters of people having conversation and it got hostile at some point.

      The last dream I was in this arcade place with some of my friends. We are sitting at this table when I see this skim ball game. Someone hands me a ball and I start rolling it up the ramp into the holes. There are a bunch of balls on the ramp in the way so sometimes I hit those and sometimes I hit the top of the cage. People behind me are cheering as I'm making a lot of balls into holes and especially the hard to get ones. I win the game and actually set the record for most points at 175. I keep telling people I couldn't believe it happened. I'm walking over to other games to see what they do. One of the games is set up where there's a platform and then a ball pit under it with a bunch of obstacles in the air. On the other side of the obstacles is this hoop that has a foam green fist stuck facing downwards and the object is to push it through. Will Ferrell is there trying to play the game with someone else. Eventually it does go through and a secret slot opens up on the left side of the game.

      Behind the cabinet was a white cartoon bunny face and below that was a flashing orange button. He pressed it and another secret slot opens up and gives him the options of two prizes. They were both some sort of currency and I was confused because I thought he was going to win some sort of stuffed animal. Another game I saw was this flash game like the superhero where you literally put on red shoes and try to run really fast into the game to beat it. I saw my step brother Alex trying to play the game.

      At the end of the dream I walked over to my friends where Sam Bahar and Sam's brother Jake were hanging out and talking. Sam was making a joke and I was watching on a laptop inspirational videos. I remember feeling really awkward like I couldn't contribute to the conversation.
    2. Dreams from night of 2-7 to 2-8 (at least 2 LDs)

      by , 02-08-2018 at 02:09 PM
      Here are the dreams from last night. The non lucid parts are written in black. I highlighted the lucid parts in lime green this time. There were also some parts that were really pre lucid but not exactly lucid, so I only highlighted the ones I was certain were lucid.


      Round 1 and 2 of dreams
      Here are dreams. This is the second time I have woken up. Unfortunately, the first time I woke up, I did not write down the dream fragments I remembered. I thought to myself that they were so few, that I would definitely rmemeber them next time I woke uo. This was not the case, and now I am kind of sad that they are gone.

      I had difficulty falling asleep the first time of the night, but the second time I went back to sleep (after needing the bathroom) I fell asleep easier.

      From this second round of dreams, the first thing I remember is having to go somewhere with my Dad. I didn't want to go. It had to do with where I went to college.

      Then, there was a part at AB's house where it was around 6 A M. I wanted to ask my cousin something but AC said it was too early for her. she wasn't really up yet.

      There was something about my sister arranging a daily spanking routine with my Dad. I was horrified by this. I am against the spanking of children. The concept of spanking came up in my life recently and so I see that this has some carryover to day time.

      This dream was very vivid and eventful, but I remembered only a little. The next part was that I was sitting near some water and there were two girls to my right. It was like the shore of an ocean or big body of salt water. there was some surf washing up. One girl to my right had no shirt on the second time I looked at her. I didn't get too engaged in that aspect of the dream. But I forgot what we were all doing by the water. Maybe eating ice cream? I was going to go out to the water at first but then I saw those two sitting there and decided to sit with them.

      There was a part where I had this foldable griddle and was cooking eggs or other food for people. there was a lot of food in this dream. I was cooking a big rectangular pizza and I considered slicing open the crust and turning the whole thing into a breakfast pizza with bacon, maple syrup and eggs, and i guess cheese. I thought everyone would really enjoy this.

      There was a family there that was like my previous neighbors. There was a girl from there who I was seeming to get to know better. We were sitting together by ourselves. I did not get along well with these neighbors. I remember seeing a guy who looked like her brother but wasn't quite her brother, so I figured he was her cousin or something. Then another guy came over and seemed to draw her back over to their family table. I felt kind of bad about this because I liked her. In waking life, I did not get along well with her.

      Then there was a thing about this plant or ornament thing that could be designed to stay in a certain shape. So I put one of the limbs into a square and I did this to impress people or win the girl back. There was a whole concept of how the plant or ornament could be programmed to go in a certain shape, without changing it manually. I was then looking through the shelves beneath it for a manual of some sort. Instead, I found a questionnaire packet about some different topics, one of which was kind of surprising.(Note to self #1*)

      I felt like I was supposed to fill it out, but didn't want to. There might have been something to do with math homework. Then, A B walked by and sung that I was a beautiful helper. I felt good about that.

      So then I was walking back through and there were all these kids. Someone said something about how we all have to get these kids on the bus before 10 A M so we don't get billed for having kids at this location. The floors were all slippery and it was a big mess. Then I walked further one way and a latin american fellow was eating raw chicken. i thought, man, he must be hungry, but I didn't think that was good for you. Oh, well, maybe he can digest it. Then, a woman's voice was asking if the kids have trouble being on benefits or people pick on them because of being on benefits. Then, I walked by this huge pile of cooked sweet potatoes. but they were moldy. I got excited because I love roasted yams. But I opened one and it had lots of green and white mold.

      So, that was all of these dreams. Unfortunately, I forgot a lot of parts that were interesting. What happened was, once I woke up from that second round of dreams and sleep, I stayed perfectly still and attempted to think of what I dreamed about. But, for some reason, it took a minute or two for anything to come to mind. That seems weird because it was such a vivid dream. I guess I was just groggier or in a deeper phase of sleep and hopefully, the next rounds of sleep and dreams gives me more dream recall.










      Round 3 of dreams



      I didn't have too much trouble falling asleep. These dreams turned out to be a dream chain kind of thing with two fairly long lucid dreams back to back after the first dream. I forgot a lot of the dreams unfortunately, even though I stayed perfectly still and immediately thought of what i had dreamed upon awakening physically in my bed. Well, here is what I remember.

      There was a scene where I was on the phone with my friend Lesa. I forgot what we were talking about. One part was that I have healed a lot from circumcision trauma because I am not as angry, even though I still oppose it. I just oppose it more calmly, which is healthier for me at the time. I was pouring soap from a body soap bottle into something else. It was like a blue tube of gel, unlike the real body soap, which isn't as solid. My Mom had taken the toilet down stairs for cleaning it, which made perfect sense to me at the time. There was some dream context that I could have cleaned the walls behind the toilet and the floor while she was down there but I didn't really want to. I didn't know I was dreaming yet. In the bath tub to the left of the toilet place, there were all of these blue fish tank pebble types of things. I figured they were some kind of cleaning salts and would dissolve.

      I forgot the rest of this dream, but there was more to it. What happened was, I woke up and thought about it. I remember remembering a good deal of it, but the next thing I knew, I was asleep again, and in another dream.

      In this dream, I had woken up in a car. I was in a parking lot and it was daylight. I didn't know I was dreaming right away, but I started to have the notion that it could be a dream. A girl pulled up in a car next to me. It was Victoria from high school and I got out of my car, to not be anti social. At the time, i was trying to dream journal in my car, which often happens as this is kind of a false awakening I get from thinking I have woken up to dream journal when i was intending to last time I was awake. I was worried about forgetting my dreams. Then, I was on the passenger side of my car, trying to write my dream journal in blue gel on the windshield. I realized this wouldn't work the best, and tried to get my phone to work as a dream journal. Then, another guy was there talking to Victoria, and I had the sense they both wanted me to go away. I looked in some compartment on the side of my car. As I was standing with Victoria and the guy, I was still stressing about writing my dream journal. then I realized i was in another dream. I was like seventy five percent sure of it, but didn't do any dream state checks yet.

      Next, in this dream, I was in some kind of a school hallway or building. I remember it being bright with lots of white tiles and white walls and stuff like that. There was some kind of class going on or something. There were some women around. I decided to check if it was indeed a dream. I tried a finger palm test a few times, hoping to be discreet. It didn't go through, but the hunch that I was dreaming still didn't go away. I was thinking, I know this is a dream, I just need to prove it to myself. I remember looking out some window perhaps into a field. I also remember there was some rectangle in the wall that I pulled myself up to look into and it was this crawl space thing, with upside down cieling tiles as the floor. This seemed unusual to me. I don't know if this counts as a totally lucid dream or if I was just pre lucid the whole time. More happened in this dream, but I don't remember it now, and you will see why in the next dream. I am not sure if I had more lucidity later in this part of the dream chain or not. But I did wake up and try to remember as much as possible of this part of the dream chain before the next began. As far as dream chains go, this one had 3 long segments, instead of my usual 6 to 12 short segments when I have dream chains.

      Another dream began after a while of thinking through the previous two. This time, I knew it was a dream sooner, almost immediately. I forgot the first parts of this dream. I remember some kind of underground rock concert, a scene I feel I have dreamed of before. I felt somewhat excluded perhaps. Then I was in this parking garage walking perhaps to my car. There was a thought in my mind about how a certain belief system (Note to self #2*) seems dark but is more about integration than actually becoming evil. There were cars parked to my right, and I walked or flew alongside them. I sensed someone coming and I hid behind them. I had the feeling I was in a part of the dream I wasn't allowed. As I hid behind one car, I saw a car pull out of one of the spaces ahead and to my left, from between other cars. the unusual thing was, it was a limosine, but it pulled out of a car space just the size of a regular sedan, which had nothing past it but a wall. Well, I already knew it was a dream.

      Then, I was flying around this lobby a bit. I had a sense I should really lay low around here. I saw someone working in a glass booth and flew through the glass both, but I think I was also invisible. I tried going down through the floor to see the underground concert thing again, but the dream told me I couldn't go through the floor this time. So, I let go of needing to do that.


      Next thing I knew, I was in some class. Then, a girl I know, either Lauren or Julia, was walking down the steps ahead of me. She dropped a bunch of mini reeses cups on the steps and I made sure to step over them. She told me it didn't matter if I stepped on them, they had already hit the floor, so she couldn't eat them. I said, well, that may be so, but I don't want them on my shoe. I figured she would go buy some new ones in wrappers, but she had taken them from some bulk pack. I don't know how they kept in her pocket. I might have temporarily forgot it was a dream around this part, or faded in and out of awareness of that. The dream was really long, much longer than my memory of it shows. I was thinking to myself that I didn't know that girl had an eating problem.

      Then, a guy I never met was shaking my hand and giving me some kind of compliment or advice. In the context of the dream, I thought of him as a guy from my fraternity, but now that I look back, I didn't actually know him. he was somewhat big of a guy with grey hair.

      Then there was a part with two young girls in a cage, holding burgers on strings. A guy about 20 years old walked by and oogled at the burgers, then kept walking. As he did this, I felt tremendous fear, like he was a dinosaur and going to eat the girls.



      Then there was a part with two teenage boys bringing a slightly younger teenage girl somewhere. They were outdoors and there was a fence nearby. It was still daytime. I felt fear that they were going to molest the girl. At this point, I felt like I was following along invisibly, and I knew I was dreaming again, if I had lose awareness at one point. Now, I had a sense that I was more passively being shown this scene, like a T V show, as opposed to actively engaged in it. As in, I didn't really have a dream body. I was just a floating awareness, unable even to control my own floating. but I was aware of my actual condition being a dream. So, I just followed the kids, thinking that I might at some point materialize with a dream body and rescue the girl if need be.

      I remember somewhere along the course of these dreams, thinking to myself, well, this is just pointless. This is such a long dream, I will never remember all of it. I don't even see the point of this dream, anyway. I should just wake myself up. but then I remembered a rule I made with myself, that I was sort of honor bound to stay in the dream as long as I could. Even if I didn't want to stay, I had to do my best to stay in the dream as long as I could. So, I decided I wouldn't wake myself up.

      Next thing I knew, I was seeing a young teenage boy saying something. Then, credits rolled. The scene zoomed out and showed I had been watching this all on a T V. Suddenly, I knew I was in the living room of a cabin that it felt like I had been in earlier in the dream. I wish I remembered this all more clearly. A guy walked by with a dog and out a door to my right. The door had mainly glass, but then some wooden slat kind of things. I can't think of the name for this kind of door but it is a pretty normal door. With brown wood. There was a couch to the right of that door. As the guy left, I tried to tell him I thought my life purpose was to materialize and save that girl, but now I found out it was just a T V show. The guy didn't seem to care. I felt all alone for a moment. I wondered if I was supposed to commit suicide within this dream because I felt so empty and useless all of a sudden. I thought if there would be a dream gun somewhere. I knew that suicide within a dream would not kill me because I have read about how dying in dreams doesn't actually kill the person. So it was more symbolic or something. I couldn't think of anything else to do.

      Then, I felt empowered by the thought that I could just turn off the T V. All along, I could have just realized it was a T V show, grabbed the remote, and turned the power off. then, i could have done something else. So, the remote was right to the left of the T V and I picked it up. I forgot what hand. The power button was very clearly on the top right of the remote, and I pressed it. The T V went off for a split second, but popped back on. I was not surprised. That happens in dreams a lot, I turn off electronics or radios and they pop back on and I have to keep unplugging them from here or there. so I was expecting that. I pressed power off again and it went off again.

      Just then, someone came in with two dogs. They looked dark at first, and I felt scared. But then I saw that she was a beautiful dark skinned woman in a dark coat and hat with dark hair. She was 4 and a half to 5 feet tall if I could guess. One of her dogs had these shiny black spots of fur on an otherwise not shiny brown coat of fur. That was the dog to my right. The other dog was to my left. She started to comment on how we needed to have sex immediately. I was like, woah, cool. I was totally aware it was a dream. She began to undress very slowly. I wanted to rush her to undress, but I tried to just breathe. I could see her body and she was just getting her pants off. She was saying something about how she should have just stayed with a guy like me (Note to self #3*) all along and not gone for those other guys. Now, she was back, and she wasn't going to leave again, she said. I started to be aware for the first time in this dream that I was losing stability. This is part of why I wanted her to hurry up. I was getting anxious or too excited, but I was able to keep some level of cool, enough to extend the dream the amount I did. I started to tell her that I was losing stability and I needed her help to stay in the dream, and my level of panic about waking up kind of rose. At first, I felt like I might be able to stay in the dream and enjoy the next scene which might have ensued, but then, i felt myself waking up physically in my bed.
      (Note to self #4*)

      Then I was awake physically in my bed. Because I woke up straight from that scene, I was able to begin remembering the dreams right away. I couldn't remember as much as I would have wanted to. I wrote the dream out in full though and now I can go back to bed.






      Round 4 of dreams. .

      I fell back asleep without much trouble, on my left side. I had a dream and woke up, unable to remember even a little of it. I was still very groggy, and felt myself soon drifting to sleep again, so I just let it happen.

      I was in another dream that I don't remember a lot of the beginning of. My sister was there. Two other girls were there. I think I remember having a bad feeling but I am not quite sure. There may have been something with my college fraternity.

      Then I was having a conflict with a guy, I think. Maybe a conflict with my Dad. I think he wanted help carrying something to the back yard or something like that. Maybe he had some kind of a vacuum.

      Oh, snap, now I remember what happened. Someone else was up in my room with me and we had a drug like D M T. It was either actual D M T or I was just pretending it was. I haven't smoked weed or drank in over 4 years in waking life, by the grace of the goodness gracious. But i took this test tube or lab beaker kind of thing and put the drug in there and somehow vaporized it from that. I remember inhaling every last bit of vapor and feeling like, oh, crap, why did I do that? Even if I am only pretending, I really shouldn't be dabbling with drugs. I kind of started to feel funny. I think I looked in the mirror but I don't remember what I saw. Now that I remember that, it makes sense why I was so relieved when I found out next that it was just a dream.

      When I was downstairs, I got the idea to try putting my finger through my palm. It was a vivid dream already and it felt like waking life. But, I gave it a try and to my surprise, it poked through a little. I felt more like I was in waking life, and nothing would happen. So it was interesting for it to really go through to the other side. I wanted to show someone but then I didn't. I still didn't quite understand what it meant that it was a dream. I felt like I was still in waking life, but that something was just a little different. I went to look out the front door, which looked like it does in waking life. Then, I realized it was a dream, so that meant I could do more fun stuff or something. I saw a sugar cookie shaped like an easter bunny chocolate bar thing and grabbed that and started to eat it. it was delicious. My Mom was there and she was being really nurturing. Then, I wanted more food, but it felt like the other food was still stuck in my mouth, and I couldn't fully swallow it. Anyway, I went in the fridge, and there was a pile of food boxes. On top was a really well made birthday cake that said Mommy on it. this makes sense because my sister was just telling me how she decorated a cake for my Mom for her birthday, which was a few days ago. I thought of digging right into the cake, but decided not to, because even though it was a dream, it seemed too important to mess with. So I put the cake to the side. The next box was a circle of turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread, and I dug right into those. I still felt like I should leave some for everyone else, even if I was in a dream. As I ate, I felt like I couldn't eat fast enough. The food in the dream tasted so delicious. Then, there was a jar of Mustard to my right. I gobbed some of that on the sandwiches and ate that, and it was delicious, too. My Mom came by and asked me if I was going to put some Kevin on my food. I knew that Kevin was the word for Mayo but I don't know how those words got criss crossed. There was a small jar of Mayo near the mustard that I didn't have any of yet. Then, my Mom was saying more nice things to me as I ate. That was a really nice wish fulfilling dream. I told my Mom that I want to eat something I really want to eat! She said, I know, me too. (Note to self #5*) Then, I noticed my Mom's art was everywhere. I thought that I would really like to compliment her on her wonderful art. I could see shadows cast by her easels. I wanted to have the chance to tell her how great her art was, before the dream ended, but my mouth was so full. (Note to self #6*) I thought I would be able to enjoy some more food, and then I would get the chance to compliment my Mom on her art, which would probably be very fulfilling in a dream.
      Then, I woke up physically in my bed, with my mouth still moving, still tasting the sandwiches from the dream.

      It took me a moment to even think of the dreams. I don't know why my dream recall isn't the best tonight. I feel I dreamed a lot, but remembered so little. I hope I can sleep and dream once more, because I feel a bit like I had less dreams than usual. But it might be the case that I have had all the sleep my body will take, and it is morning. Usually I can't sleep past sun rise. But I will try to sleep again and see what happens.

      I am definitely happy about this L D because I like dream food. From the moment I thought of food, I was thinking of the food in our cabinets in waking life. Also, I eat very strict in waking life, never any cookies or even bread, for years straight now, and so eating things like this in a dream is a real treat. I eat this way in waking life more due to food allergies than anything else, and because I have a history with certain types of food triggering binges. Which, in the dream, I did feel like I was on a food binge, but because I knew it was a dream, I just enjoyed it. In waking life, being on a food binge like that would be pretty scary. So, I am grateful I am not on a food binge in waking life.

      Well, I didn't get back to sleep. I tried, but could tell the sun had risen without even looking, and I got up. So, now its time for the day.
    3. 17-11-21 Dad Being Insensitive D*ck, Stuck in Barcelona

      by , 12-21-2017 at 01:05 PM
      I was on a 'bus' with a guy from work (Eddy). I sad down in the 'forbidden seat'. Someone immediately pointed out I wasn't supposed to sit there. Notes also say "very bright ceiling tile"? Not sure what that means.

      I had a fight with my dad again. I got emotional because of an old picture of my mom. I thought it was recent birthday picture at first. My dad saw something was up, but decided to be an insensitive dick and make me feel like shit. He said, in Dutch: "Ge zit daar te trillen als ne halve gare", meaning: "You sit there, shaking like a moron" and a lot more rude BS. Really summarizes how I see my dad. Incapable of dealing with emotions.

      I was in Barcelona with my class from school (an event that actually happened twice, in 2007 and 2008). The weather was really sunny and warm, and it was winter. I met a cute girl and we had sex. There was some foot fetishism going on, nothing too extreme. Afterwards, we were outside and I kissed her goodbye. My "friends" (at the time, now mortal enemies) were there too, watching. The girl was taller than me, by the way. I noticed that because I'm always super insecure about my pitiful height for a male. Anyway, we had to leave (get on the plane to fly back home), but bullies hid my shoes so I couldn't leave. I found some dirty shoes at a place we came through before, thrown away by those fucking bullies. On my way back through the city (a ruined house?), I saw some landmarks I hadn't photographed yet (the Sagrada is one of them), and it made me wish I had more time. I could technically leave whenever I wanted, so I could maybe visit the girl again first.
    4. My family moved | My birthday party

      by , 08-31-2017 at 11:53 AM
      I had two dreams last night. I'm working to get LDs, but didn't get any this time. It's only natural, since I only just got my motivation truly back. Here are the dreams:

      1# My family moved back to a certain house (not a house I have lived IRL). I did not like it at all. It was a detached house, but it wasn't done yet. It's yard had sand and not grass and stuff. The house was yellow. It was a little dark inside because it didn't have that many windows. It's roof was very low. It was weird and uncomfortable. I didn't like the houses location. Other houses weren't very close and there was a lot of long grass outside. It was like if the house wasI on a beach or something. I tried to imagine normal daily life in that house, but it was hard. I didn't think I could enjoy it. There was also something about the area that bothered me. Two guys were killed within nine days (I don't know what the "within nine days" meant but that's what I was told in the dream). It had something to do with a company that my dad was working for in the dream. Great.

      2# It was my birthday. I was having a party in a park in a certain city (not revealing what city because of reasons). I was going to the area with my family. Many finnish YouTubers were there. They were going to have a gig (if that's the world). I saw my favourite YouTuber there and I went to take a photo. I told her she was my first idol I've had. She had her dog with her. Some guys started playing. I recognized some of them. I didn't like the music. It was just lame. Others didn't like it either. There were many people from my school in the park, but they didn't talk to me. No wonder, because I had an ugly pink dress. I also had way more weight and was just uglier than IRL imo. It was all just weird and lame. I went to eat. There was some woman there. I think I talked to her. I saw my crush in a large group behind the stage. Yes, behind the stage... No one liked the music. I talked to someone about the music.
    5. The Tickle-Worm Dream

      by , 08-23-2017 at 03:37 PM
      07-27-2017 -- The Tickle-Worm. Dream starts out with me working as some sort of courier. I have stopped by a law office to pick up files to deliver somewhere, and they are a small pile of papers and a check that I have to take and place in an envelope (possibly re-useable) supplied for it. As I slide them in, the person there is telling me that there is no special hurry, and that I can take this and the one other package I currently have in either order, and I add in the instructions that I know are coming ... as long as I do not pick up any more on the way. This needs to get to their delivery spot quite quickly.

      Don't have any clue just how the scene reaches this next point, but I find myself in a hotel room somewhere with my dad. I have a small wooden box, slightly decorated, that I think may have been based on a box from a Harry Potter fan-fic I was reading last night, that in the fic was a sort of magical mail box. In the dream, it holds an unusual creature that I have somehow received ... a Tickle-Worm. The Tickle-Worm is a worm. It starts out looking mostly like a regular worm, with a slightly larger 'head' area that actually has a bit of a face, and is perhaps about 8 inches long. It springs out of its box, and is supposed to kind of half curl up in my hand and sleep there, as I go to sleep.

      The problem is, it seems to be curious and into exploring. As I go to lay down, it springs out of my hand and across the room, where it starts crawling around a book case, knocking books to the floor, and annoying my dad, who is trying to sleep. He's kind of upset about the thing making noise. That part I don't mind too much, but I do find it kind of irksome that it is knocking all of the Danny Dunn books off the shelves. I approach the bookcase, thinking I am going to have to kind of chase it around to try and catch it, but as I get close, it springs off the bookcase into my hand.

      I'm walking back toward the bed, hoping I can now get a little sleep, but as I draw near, it springs off again, flying into a slightly open chest filled with boxes of colorful breakfast cereals, again doing some exploring. The next thing I know, I am in some sort of classroom or scientific lab speaking with a female teacher or scientist, asking about the Tickle-Worm, and she is explaining where they are found. She shows me a large, octagonal aquarium filled with water and seaweed, but no fishes.

      This thing is probably about ten feet around, and perhaps four feet high, but weighs little enough that she can pick it up. Anyway, she picks it up and shows me a piece of seaweed that is long and wide and flat and thick (probably about four feet long, six inches wide, and about an inch thick) that is a slightly brownish green and now hanging from it is a tapeworm-like Tickle-Worm. Seems they start in sea water, but when removed, are perfectly fine.

      [I do not think I have ever heard the term Tickle-Worm before this dream, but looking it up on the internet, it seems it may be something created by a band I have never heard of, in a song that I also have never heard. How it came to be in my dream, I have less than no clue.]
    6. Two Worlds

      by , 08-15-2017 at 03:22 AM (Dream)
      Key:
      Side Notes (Side Notes)
      Title
      Dream
      Lucid
      Two Worlds

      In the Car my Dad was going to drop me off, I said "Drop me off here." closer to the school doors.
      I get out my dad starts playing really loud dubstep-esque music.
      I walk into the school, it looks like middle school but it's high school.
      I see Celina talking to some people, I walk upstairs and someone is next to me.
      We walk for a bit and then our Teacher shows up out of nowhere and pulls a lever which a monitor shows up and 50 lights appear, the monitor looks like one
      you'd see on a highway that's black with orange lights.
      It was a 50th Anniversary for something.
      We walk into the class (looks like Mrs.S's classroom). The teacher is a woman all of the sudden, "I'll give you a hint: Candy."
      Everyone is excited to get some candy, a girl thinks "I bet its cookies!"
      And on a desk there is Chip Ahoy cookies so it wouldn't be out of the book.
      I'm sitting next to Kevin, he tells me "I wasn't here Monday."
      I told him not to worry because he was on a field trip (?).
      I look at his shoes and it reminds me of Dark Matter/Black Sky Camo from COD, I was going to say "Takes a 5 kills without dying to get that."
      The scene changes (still in the classroom) and there is Abraham, there wasn't much time left.
      There was one last ingredient.
      They found it, a small Black Cat.
      Abraham kills it and let's it blood run into a vial.
      Outside there are rabid humans.
      Abraham lets the Blonde Chick drink it.

      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      That was a weird dream, I know today is the day I'll get a Lucid Dream. I'll report to you guys tomorrow. A few weeks until school starts, my Senior Year.
      August 14th, 2017
    7. Weaving a Lightning Tornado

      by , 06-22-2017 at 07:08 AM (Letaali's Dream Journal)
      I'm in a car, dad's driving me from my hometown to the city. Next to the church we see a new facility of some kind. It has a massive machine creating a storm. I see how it weaves lightning into massive, thin and solid pieces. It's like fabric made of light. The machine also creates a zone of dark storm clouds, but the lightning fabric pieces flying around are easily visible. They spin around the facility like a tornado and slowly grow. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in a dream. The pieces condense into a massive ball lightning. I can feel the air electrifying, even though we are far away. The car should protect us from the explosion. The ball lightning disintegrates explosively. The wave of electricity passes the car without harming us.

      We make it to the city. While on a large bridge/intersection, there is an explosion beneath the bridge. The metallic frame of the bridge stays in one piece, but the concrete and asphalt or whatever crumbles away. The car is stuck. Dad tells me to get out of the car and go on foot. I do so, and leave my dad behind.

      The only exit from the bridge is an underground tunnel that took some damage too. There's rubble, smoke and fire inside. A lot of civilians need to get past it. Some emergency people help us through, we get a rope that we tie to each person for safety and start making our way through the caved in tunnel. There are narrow paths through. We find a door and the next section of the tunnel is full of smoke. We wait, because running into that smoke is not smart. We hear shooting from behind us. We have to go. We run through the smoke and make it through the tunnel into a safe room. We untie the ropes and three people enter the room after us. These are people I know in real life and they caused the explosion and were the people shooting. I grab one of them by the shirt and yell at them, asking for a reason. His face shows no emotion. He has a gun, but I do not fear him. He wouldn't shoot me, no matter what kind of situation he's in.
    8. Queen of the Hunt has Anxiety

      by , 06-09-2017 at 01:41 PM (The Secret Life of Demons)
      Forest

      I arrive at a location near a mountain; lots of green, many trees. I pass a few familiar people, but they're more like spirits (appearance is indifferent, but the mentality was profound). Most appear busy with their own agendas, but it's peaceful. As I move closer to camp I can see people gathering and the energy shifting. Many more of us are arriving and so I stop to observe the increased movement. I realize the reason for the arrival of my people; we're receiving visitors.

      MoSh

      Shred arrives, but I don't recognize that it's him in the dream. I merely stare at him as he walks past me and doesn't say anything. I call out to him, he stops walking and looks straight at me but there's no sense of recognition; he's viewing me like a stranger. I'm also staring at him, trying to figure out why he's so familiar to me. We stare for a long while at one another. I'm uncertain how this occurs but he begins ... chasing me? Not in a bad way? Not in a good way either?

      I enter my camp to evade him because the energetic exchange of being chased startles me. I've been hunted in the past and that mindset he's holding reminds me of past experiences...this internal dynamic causes me to race through the encampment, through a maze of doors, without stopping. I step out to detach from the panicked body.

      My perspective is following a few feet behind the fleeing body. I'm wondering what the fuck happened and I sorta get it. The energy unfolding was too similar to past memories and it triggered anxiety. Makes sense; being hunted for death sorta does that to a person. MoSh may have accidentally held that vibration without understanding the impact.

      Data?

      I reach the top of the encampment and watch as the body I was inhabiting tries to calm itself. The sky is beautiful up here; though I spend less time looking up and more time assessing myself. I notice I don't look like me. This body I'm using looks very tall and lean (sort of Avatar-like, but the body wasn't blue and there was no tail). I look sort of Native American, but a distorted version of it. It's pretty, but more graceful gazelle pretty than American pretty. As the panic subsides, a man approaches. I'm viewing the man as I'm still separated from my body. Personally, I'm wondering how he made it up this far and it doesn't look like the Shred, but I can't tell who it is.

      The body I was inhabiting is clearly still sketchy. She moves around the space without putting her back to the man. The man approaches, stops about twenty feet away from her, and reveals something he's holding. She goes to him and they exchange a few small words. The dynamic of this man calms her (he's tall, a bit stoic, quiet, reminds me of Data due to lack of emotional excitement). The body (hers) is calm enough for me to enter it and so I do. The man and I talk for a bit about weapons.

      He's asking to bring something for us to practice with and wants to know what I want to use. I think it over briefly before asking him to bring something cheap. He and I will spar, I chose archery, he agreed he would bring arrows for next time. Cheap is ideal because it's sparring and not an actual battle; also, I have my own arrows so he would be bringing the items for himself mostly. He excuses himself as he needed to leave to attend to a separate errand. I'm collecting my arrows as I'm going to spend some time up here to practice on my own; alone. We say goodbye and I watch him leave. I'm thinking of how nice he seems and I'm looking forward to our next meeting.

      Death

      I'm at a hospital with my dad, in my hands is a biography and collective work of an artist. The artist has recently died and the book was compiled for his death. I'm browsing through the pages looking at the various pieces of artwork. Most of it is drawn in pen, but the line work is very lovely. One picture I find quite sad--the artist is in bed, the media is black with some lines of a crisp blue. Nothing is obviously sad about the picture, only that I happen to know this was a portrait of the artist as he was lying on his deathbed. To me, it's sad as it indicates the last artwork before he died (there will be no more). I've never been partial to endings.

      A nurse comes into our darkly lit room. She informs us we're going to radiology, they want a picture of his liver. I collect myself and prepare to follow them out of the room. The dream shifts.

      Catch 22

      I open up a connection to my mom to explain what's going on with Dad. I'm viewing her and she looks like she's in a different state (location) for some reason. I tell her we're on our way to radiology and why. Her reply:

      It's funny, no one is afraid of death. Death is not something people fear. People go to the hospital not to find out they are dying, they already know they are dying. They go to the hospital to delay death. What can the hospital (medicine) truly offer? They try to offer time, but they often don't understand death enough to grant time or understanding of the process unfolding.

      It's humorous to me she is teaching me about the process of dying. Her comfort level is high and I suppose she's right; the misconception is death is something to fear when in reality it is a step up from the predicament of living. Seems a bit quirky how backward things are, yet I'm still quieted by the prospect of Dad engaging the process. Perhaps I'm merely jealous he gets to go while I'm stuck dealing with the bullshit of living. Not that I idolize death; but death (abandonment of the physical body) makes everything I do more efficient. Hence, my work is slower with a physical self and this annoys me. Though, if dead I wouldn't be able to share my research so it's a hilariously cruel Catch 22 for me.
      Categories
      memorable
    9. Some Dreams

      by , 05-21-2017 at 05:31 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      House

      A flash of being at Bjork's house. She seemed to be in a kind of exhausted mood.

      Trump

      Me and Bjork are in Donald Trump's oval office. Apparently she had convinced me to go there for some reason I can't remember. Trump is trying to get us to help him with a plan for North Korea without causing a global war. He is assuring us that he is not trying to start WW3. Bjork has her fingers in her ears while he talks and starts dancing around going, "lalala!" It's quite comical. She says that's all fine and dandy but, what is he going to do for the environment? Because so far he's completely ignored that. I say that if a thermonuclear war happens there won't be much of a habitable environment left to fight for, so first things first. Trump says his briefings on North Korea are of major concern right now. With a plan to... Bjork goes into her "Not hearing it" dance again. Trump says to me, "Can you get her to stop that? Can't you control your woman kid?" I say, "She's not my woman." Bjork stops in her tracks and glares at me. "What is she then?" He asks. "Complicated?" I shrug. She looks sad for a second and asks, "what DO you mean by that?". I say, "Ambiguous dream fragments.. creepy hypnagogic imagery that feels like I'm being remote viewed.. I don't really have much to go on here. And when you wake up you have a boyfriend, are across the continent, probably has no idea that I even exist, and have 20 years on me. Exactly what should I call it then?" Trump is like, "Sheesh you guys aren't gonna help with this are you. and wait, she's that old? You know it only gets worse when they get older, you know that, right kid?" Bjork thinks for a long time while I get that watery feeling like I'm gonna wake up and says, "See this is why I wanted some dream time to myself to think about this, and I can't believe that you actually think.." I wake up.

      After WBTB

      Threats

      I'm paying my guitar in a room in my inner world house. People are gathered around me listening. I finish playing. Everyone seems to enjoy it. My dad is on the couch and tells me to stop playing wanker stuff. It sounds terrible. The kids mouths drop and Asuka shoot my dad the dirtiest look ever. I get really upset and leave the room. I think for a moment then run back into the room. I stare my dad dead in the face and say, "You ever talk to me like that again and I'm gonna pound your F'ing face in!" His eyes widen and he tries to sink lower into the couch.

      Work related dream yay!!!

      I'm in J from work's truck. we are driving around something like Didsbury looking for a McDonald's location to work at. First he tries to find one by a school? Nope, non there. So he drives by a hospital? Nope, none there either. This dream pretty much went on like that. It was kind of funny watching him get stressed because he couldn't figure out where he worked. At a church location we walked all around the lot and inside of the church looking. But no cigar.
    10. wolfy

      by , 04-26-2017 at 06:50 PM
      I see man father wandering about in the near dark. He is enclosed by what look like cricket nets about 10ft tall around a square. I try to warn him but it is like i'm outside the dream trying to step in.
      He cannot hear me.
      A giant grey wolf the size of an elephant is prowling around the nets. There is a big hole, not that it would need one to get through.
      I force my way into the dream, first person. As I do two more wolves appear and notice me.
      They head towards me, i am prettified and struggling to overcome my fear.
      I have two guns that I need to thumb the triggers back on before I can fire. As the wolves get closer their heads transform into the heads of humans. I don't recognise them, just greasy long haired waxy men.
      The dream ends as I am trying to fire at them.
      Tags: dad, nets, night, wolf
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    11. 17-04-19 FreshBlush ASMR, 'Work'

      by , 04-20-2017 at 12:44 AM
      This dream took place a month or a few months in the future. It felt like a flashforward, no time-travel this time. I was in the US, staying at a hotel where you share a house with a few strangers (common areas, anyway, like the bathroom). I was on the phone with an ASMR girl (FreshBlush) I was listening to in real-life at that moment (I fall asleep with ASMR playing on my laptop next to me). Her lines in the RL video was what she said to me on the phone in the dream. In the dream, I was in love with her, and I was trying to convince her to meet me again (apparently we'd met before). I was willing to do do anything to see her again. I started to wake up mid-conversation. That's when I started suspecting it was happening again - reality bleeding into the dream. And yes, even if I didn't speak, she would keep saying her lines, confirming it was not real. I felt really bummed out, as I finally had something good happening to me, a date, and it wasn't real. Sigh.

      I was "at work" (not my real job), and my father worked there too. We were going through some kind of concrete canals, killing vermin. My dad used a large knife to kill a few small animals that resembled tiny greasels from Deus Ex. So did I. But then dad killed a chameleon. I was angry, as my father loves lizards and other animals like that and I never expected he'd hurt them. I thought he'd pick it up and release it into the wild, but instead he just stabbed it. I leave the 'canal' using some metal stairs, and wurm my way past some piping and machinery. There was a girl there. Then I saw an old colleague (Luc de Jong?). He saw me and said something. I walked after him, into an office full of people, and told him "I don't work there anymore" (I'd changed job again, he didn't know). My former-former-former boss, Stefan Klink, was there too. He got mad at me, and said my comments about "shooting down a plane" were distasteful. I think I told people if terrorists attacked our seasteading by hijacking a plane, we ought to shoot it down before the terrorists crash it into something important and kill even more people. I think Stefan misunderstood, and thought I meant we should shoot down any passenger plane entering our airspace. A woman, probably someone rather important (HR?) started shouting at me. I tried to laugh it off, but everybody else in the room started yelling loudly too, and I couldn't hear what anyone was saying anymore. I yelled out that I wanted them to shut up, because I wanted to hear what that woman was blabbering on about. I think someone suggested we talk in a separate room.
    12. Alaska Snake Bite Bass

      by , 01-28-2017 at 10:20 PM
      I was in a house or an apartment. It might have belonged to my Dad. The floor was sand like at a beach. There were holes in the sand which seemed to be nests for snakes or insects or something. I was filling some of them up by moving sand around with my foot. My Dad asked if I could have it done by the time of some party he was planning. I said that I would try but that I wasn’t sure because it takes time.

      Then things changed so that I was no longer working on a sandy floor, but instead working on a bed or mattress, filling in dips and holes in the mattress. At one point our late dog Elvis was in one of the holes as I was moving pillows around and he came out.

      Then I was in Alaska on the road and I was running into travelers. Somebody was traveling with a bunch of young women who may have been prostitutes. I met a couple travelers who were headed to Oklahoma. They said they had begun their journey in Pennsylvania. I replied that they were really taking the long way. They said that they really wanted to visit Alaska.

      The scene changed. I might have still been in Alaska but I was at music club and I had been given an upright bass. I was just starting to fool around with it. There were two guys, one of whom had a beginner’s music book. They kept telling me to play different simple 3 note songs. At first I went along with it. But then I moved the upright bass over a divider into a corner of the room. As I moved the bass I made a joke to a man that was sitting close by that I hope I didn’t stick him in the privates with the stick-like stand that protrudes from the bottom of the bass.

      I began to play a David Lynch-type jazz scale. I was kind of managing to play that. Then Peg said that when I hit certain notes it hurt her feet or her knee. She was sitting close to the bass and it may have been bumping into her. But I said that I needed to hit those notes and asked her to be patient with me.

      So, I was playing that Lynchian piece and I had my hand high up on the neck of the bass and there were snakes up in the corner of the room and they began biting both of my arms repeatedly. I was okay, though. I posed for a photo for Peg, showing off the bites, because we thought it would look cool. Then she moved out of the way so a man from the press could take a photo.
    13. 16-01-17 “Road Trip to Iceland, with Steen and Dad”

      by , 01-17-2017 at 08:56 PM
      This dream was what I recalled this morning following the intention: My intention for tonight is first and foremost to wake up and remember my dreams. Secondly I feel like I am approaching a cross-roads and I feel uncertain about where to place my efforts, so I would be thrilled with some assistance from my dreams in this respect. But foremost I trust my dreams and want to remember whatever they bring. It feels as if it is relevant somehow and I will use it as an opportunity to practise both descriptive evocative writing as well as Jungian interpretation methods.

      I am pondering the idea of going to Mexico, which appears much as you perceive a fantasy or mnemonic ideation in the waking state – the incipient sense of an image, a map perhaps, appearing before my inner eye.

      I direct my attention outwards and find myself in the passenger seat in Steen's silver-grey car, although I am inside the car I can clearly see the matte nuance of the silver grey colour on the outside of the car. My dad is in the back seat, and he seems gleeful and excited though he doesn't say or do much during the dream. We are going on a trip, and my dad and Steen are there helping me out, as it is mainly me going on a mission.

      It is pouring down outside, it is clouded and grey, which produce a darkish hue. We are at a ticket office, which resembles a mixture between a gas station and a junk food drive in. There are two protruding window tills on our right hand side and above an almost square section of roofing is covering the pavement next to the windows, providing some cover for the rain outside.

      We drive slowly towards the first of the two window tills – one for ordering another for picking up the tickets – and as we do I feel something bump into the car towards the back, which also produce a mild audible thump. I look out the window and backwards to see if Steen has accidentally hit one of the massive concrete columns extending from the building. He is really close but I can't see any damage done to the car.

      I lean back in and Steen switches on the radio and the GPS system. The audio-scape is flooded with remnants of old mobile conversations, radio clatter and noise. I feel uneasy and a bit confused, as it is supposed to be a GPS system, providing guidance. Steen remains rather calm and composed and simply asks the GPS if it is there, and it dawns on me that it is a voice activated system.

      “I am here” a clear loud and direct female voice responds, which is a tremendous reassurance.

      Steen proceeds to drive forward and I wonder why I don't have to open the window to get the ticket. “It isn't necessary when you have one of these” he says and points to a rectangular electronic device, with an old school digital display in the bottom right corner of the front window, just in front of me as it would seem. It is essentially a device that registers that he has been here and automatically charges him for the ferry ride, which is what the ticket office is for.

      “So we are going to Iceland” he says, and I feel at first excited, but then a bit concerned because we will be sailing and we are supposed to go to either Mexico or the Faeroe Islands as well today and I am afraid we won't have time. I think about this only briefly before relinquishing the thought at aspiration to do all of these things.

      We look at a map and a black marker line appears that takes us from the ticket office “to Odden” which on the map is a full scale island, elongated and egg shaped except for a very pointed en on the right hand side. The black line takes us to the top and centre of the island, where the port town is based, from where we will board the ferry to Iceland.

      End of dream.

      In this interpretation I will start by breaking down the dream into its constituent motifs, and run free associations on them.

      There is a preceding map, an idea of a journey – which implies a plan and a set destination it also represents an overview of a trip, which can symbolise knowledge of where I am going in life. This is particularly salient as I am taken somewhere else than what I had “mapped out”, which excites me although the expectation of having to go somewhere specific within a given time frame becomes a source of frustration and tension/restlessness.

      The car is a solid and large station car, it is silver grey – the colour symbolising the silver grey snake-like pathway through space I frequently perceive in meditation, cannabis and psychedelic states also symbolising the spiritual cord often reported as seen in OBEs.

      The car is a symbol of my body, it is in good shape and the fact that my dad has been relegated to the back seat can be an expression of our recent confrontations and my insights on how he has dominated the development of my low self-esteem though his parenting style. He is now put in the back seat, representing that I still carry him with me and care for his approval and love, yet this aspect is no longer the driving motivating psychic energy for my aspirations for life – such as “save the world and become super famous”, which is simply a conditioned tendency I have developed as I felt under appreciated and unseen as a child.

      Steen is an old friend of the family, both my mum and dad – I associate to him that he recently helped me out with cheaply renting his summer house to me following an Ayahuasca journey where I wanted to stop smoking and I didn't feel for returning to my parents' house where I currently live right after. At this time he said to me that he sees how my dad communicates to people and told me that one would get insane living in that environment constantly, which felt extremely pleasant to hear as someone external with knowledge of my dad seemed to understand how hard it can be. Recently my mother expressed – in a sober state – that it can be extremely challenging for her to live in that and that friends of the family finds it a challenge to be around him as well. With Steen in the driver's seat I feel that I have taken a step towards taking control of my life and am grateful for the moral support of individuating myself from my dad, who has – without fault of his own or even consciously – dominated much of my life, through establishing uncertainty both with regards to a fragile self-esteem but also the messianic and grandiose drive to save the world to finally be worthy of his admiration and love. Steen represents a new found aspect of myself that is compassionate and understanding towards why I have turned out as I did as well as the drive to liberate myself from the clutches of my dad.

      The rain outside symbolise a torrential state of affairs with regards to my emotions – since my last Ayahuasca journey it is as if a lid has been removed and my libido is now coursing freely upwards, which result in more passionate responses and an easier time setting boundaries. It could also symbolise the fact that I am expending a lot of emotional energy in response to external uncontrollable aspects of the world, which is reminiscent of the saviour complex alluded to earlier.

      The ticket office could symbolise a public institution, such as the Health Authorities which I have recently been in contact with, with regards Ayahuasca. I might be approaching, or at least that is how I perceive it, a point where I am close to getting in trouble due to my enquiries, yet no harm is done yet. The whole point of issuing a ticket could represent my thinking on Ayahuasca's precarious legal status and potentially in the future thinking of a license model for practising, where the dream hints at that license is nothing that comes from the outside but an internal license, a calling (electronic ticket system).

      The GPS and radio system is particularly interesting to me. The clatter represents conditioned thinking and the attention I pay to outward clues for finding out how to direct my life. However when I look closely the “ancient mother” (female GPS voice) is there and is capable of taking me in the direction I need to go. The trick is to ask and learn to listen for what is coming from within and ignore restrictions I put on myself based on external sources of esteem and approval.

      The fact that I am concerned with the duration of the trip represents a problematic aspect of how I relate to life in an impatient way. I am lacking trust in life unfolding as it is supposed to. This is related again to the map I saw in the beginning of the dream, which representative of how I tend to construct expectations of how life SHOULD unfold and I am operating under an assumption that I need to go somewhere specific and I need to go there quickly. In essence this result in an escapist approach to life, where I am not allowing it to unfold on its own terms and cannot fully embrace and meet events in a curious, compassionate and open way.

      The end of the dream I see the ocean and the beach sort of imaginatively overlapped onto the map with the black line. I take it to symbolise that I am still in the process of letting go of my tendency to construct expectations and narrow definitions of success, but I will shortly arrive at a position where I let go and let Life overcome me and simply concede to the abrupt changes that are about to happen, with excited anticipation and joy in letting whatever happens happen. The fact that it is a sailing trip could represent a recognition of the potent force of the collective unconscious, and my submitting the stubborn fantasy that I am in control and surrendering to the collective collected wisdom of the evolution of Life itself.

      Reconstructing the meaning from associated and elaborated ideas.

      So a potential message from the dream could be that I am still constructing expectations of where and how life should take me. This becomes a source of frustration when I run into unexpected opportunities and twists of fate.

      My dad has been a source for grandiose and messianic ideation, due to his belittling and command-like style of communication, from where he will never explain why he commands, reminds, reprimands, but simply asserts himself in a supercilious tone of voice. Since we have widely different interests in life and he has proclaimed that he has no interest (or capacity) in trying to understand me I have since very early childhood developed these tendencies as a way to garner his approval, which is already there he has just never shown it in a way I could understand it when younger. The fact that he is relegated to the back seat symbolise that I am relegating the grandiose and very ambitious saviour identities – and associated expectancies – to a position where they are no longer “driving me”.

      The downpour contrasted with the comfortable, sturdy and undamaged quality of the silver grey car, can symbolise the progress I am making with meditation, where I have found an easier time dealing with painful emotions, as well as physical symptoms. They aren't allowed to penetrate to my core and when I continue the exercise I will strengthen my capacity to sift out the “radio clatter” (which can also signify the attribution of value to others' judgement of me) and listen to the voice of my heart, represented here by the Anima archetype, my deity in prayer – Mother Gaia.

      The ticket office close call could symbolise that I need to tone down my activities with certain authorities to avoid getting in trouble, especially because I already have an inner license to pursue my dreams.

      The trip to Iceland represents where I am headed next, which isn't a literal journey, although that might be fun also. In fact it might be very useful as it is Steen guiding me, which could mean a pointer to a place of safe haven, which he provided following my last Ayahuasca journey. However I have also recently considered reading up on mythology to get a better understanding of the empirical data that underpins the theory of the archetypes. This journey serves as a pointer towards examining Nordic mythology and shamanistic/divination cultural history.

      In short. With particular reference to the intention here I am being reminded that uncertainty is OK, cause if I try and envision or anticipate a direction I will form an expectation, which will lead to suffering when life takes me elsewhere. As long as I listen to my inner voice the direction is guaranteed, so I should just continue the work of being better at letting go of old ways of thinking and sharpen my attention on what matters instead of the clatter. Then a further dive into the Nordic mythology is in store.
    14. Getting Closer to Mirrors

      by , 12-12-2016 at 01:19 PM (Cinder's Dreams Gallery)
      I was on my computer. I noticed that there is a strange program reading my mind, and I suspected a virus. For some reasons, I went on Gaia online and saw that my avatar looked different and was worried I got hacked, but then I realized this was my alternate account. I tried to log in to my main account but some strange AI is preventing me from doing so, or rather, it's trying to help me log in but it's doing a terrible job. My dad is here. I got a bit annoyed at the AI's incompetence and said that it sucks so much I would wonder if I'm dreaming or not. Turns out, I am dreaming. I ditched my dad and the AI and left the room, which is within some kind of condominium. The hallway is lined with mirrors, which was convenient for my lucid goal. I looked for one that I can step in, and I tried to do so, but it didn't work out. I tried for a bit but my dream was losing stability despite my efforts to stabilize it.

      I woke up briefly, recalled my dream, and then transitioned back to dreaming. I was in a food-court-like building, open to the outdoors. I lose stability again and woke up.
      Tags: dad, mirror
      Categories
      lucid , dream fragment
    15. 06-12-16 Bullets and frags

      by , 12-06-2016 at 01:57 PM
      “Jumping from the roofs”

      I am in a large apartment complex with Sadist Simon. We are in an attic room that protrudes from the otherwise diagonal walls, the windows here are large and fully open and just under the windows there is a small area of the roof that isn’t as diagonal as the rest, in fact it is almost plane. We need to get to the ground and there is a fair amount of distance to the grass below. The weather seems cloudy, but dry and bright and we are going to town once we get down.

      We exit the room and get to the plane spot. At first I look down and think I can simply jump it, but then I get anxious and nervous and think I will most certainly break my legs if I do so. We are on the third (second in Danish terms) floor and the building extends on both the right and left side, sort of forming a horseshoe of the grass below.

      Simon then walks out on a very narrow black ledge on the part of the building complex extending on the right. He does a small jump and land on a wider black ledge a level down before he jumps to the grass.

      I am impressed and slightly jealous of his courage. I walk out on the plane roof – very tentatively – and weigh my options. On the left hand side there is a series of roof tops that progressively make their way towards the grass out towards the road at the end. I make a short run and jump onto this roof section and find it smooth sailing from there.

      The dream repeats once or maybe twice, with increasing levels of anxiety towards stepping out onto the plane section of the red tiled roof and Simon constantly in a confident manner making the small jump that I don’t dare doing. At one point he mentions “I just trust that I will land safe”.

      “A weed field and cops”

      I am coming out of a forest in the middle of the night. Someone is with me, it feels like an apprentice, student or disciple of some sort. It is dark, and it feels cloudy – no stars. In front of me I see a long rectangular field, that seems recently ploughed though also with sprouts of plants coming through.

      In front of the field is a road, which runs next to the field and white farmhouse at the end of the field. The road continues down through the forest from where we are stepping out. I look up and see a couple of cars driving down the road taking parking next to the field, close to the farm house. What stands out is the bright blue sirens blaring from atop the vehicles.

      “Ah the police is finally here” I proclaim to my assistant.
      “What are you going to do?” he responds in a nervous and concerned tone of voice.
      “Well I am going to go and talk to them, put the cards on the table” I say, mustering as much relaxation as I can. I am feeling slightly nervous myself, but also recognise that there is really nothing I can do aside from being honest about the situation.

      So I walk up and find a couple of officers. One of them is a woman, I think the other is a man. I feel they are tense and uneasy, so I hold up my hands in a gesture of surrender putting as much as I can into displaying a body language of truce and no-harm as possible. The officers relax a little as they approach in a cooperative manner and start their spiel.

      “You are under suspicion for growing skunk, and it seems obvious you are guilty.” He introduce. And it seems fair in all honesty. As he is talking the fields we are now waling in have changed to accommodate several metre tall cannabis plants.
      “Ah yes officer, let me assure you that I will provide full cooperation” I start out. And then I think of a loop-hole. The officers think they have struck gold, but they are only interested in skunk. What they don’t realise is that all the plants in the field are simply cannabis/hemp plants and not illegal.
      “I do have a couple of skunk plants in the greenhouse. Follow me” I say.
      They follow and we get to the very end of the indoor section of the grow chamber. Right next to a white door with 8-10 square windows in it is a small square pot of cannabis. The plants are very small and I lift up the pot and hand it to the officer nearest. “Here is the skunk. Now as for the rest of the plants they are industrial hemp plants and as such not illegal, as you surely know.” I say and while the officer look at me confused and disappointed, but also defeatedly accepting my argument. I think to myself that they have no idea that I can get more than high using the industrial stuff seeing as my tolerance have been lowered considerably since my Ayahuasca exposures.

      Dream ends.

      “Get out of my room”

      I am standing in my room. It is a rectangular space, very bright white walls from the sun shining through the panoramic window that spans the entirety of the end wall. My door is open and all of a sudden my uncle Kurt comes rushing in. I get embarrassed. The room is very untidy, there is loads of stuff on the floor and both the doors to the floor-to-ceiling closet lining the wall opposite the window are open and it is a mess in there. I step away from looking at my closet and turn to face him and as I do my father comes in close pursuit of my Uncle. I step up and start walking towards them. “Get out, OUT!” I tell them firmly as I raise my arms, stretch them out with palms raised towards my Uncle as I gently start pushing them back out of the room.

      “Your room is very untidy!!” My dad starts, but I ignore it. I feel nervous and anxious, my heart is raising and my thinking seems flustered. I see this as an opportunity to stand up for myself and claim my own space, and do with it what I want.

      As soon as they – in particular my uncle – are out of the room the doors slam shut violently. I am shocked and experience a surge of adrenaline travelling up my body and I open my eyes widely. I look about as the thought arise this must be because of the draught, and as I turn my head even further over left shoulder I see that the window is indeed wide open and I get the picture that this is the case for the entire house.

      The dream ends.

      “You are the tank”

      I am with a small party of people in a typical WoW style set-up, though I think we may only be four. I think I am both of the people having the discussion that plays out in the scenario, though it is observed from an external disembodied POV.

      We are standing in a somewhat dark living space. It may be a combined kitchen, lounge and living room and there is loads of different objects placed on the tables and other surfaces around us. We have just returned from a raid or a mission of some sort and we have had success, though there is a feeling of excitement running around, a result of our recent experiences having been hairy and risky.

      I am discussing with a tall, lean (but muscular) and black haired guy. In writing this I think I take on the agency of the other person, though still from a disembodied perspective. I am explaining to the tall guy that he actually took on the role of protecting us. He seems a bit disappointed, or maybe surprised at this and we rummage around in the space and find a shield. I hook it on a 2D figure of the guy, who is now also the person and across his chest is written something along the lines of “Focus your attention on me, I shall protect my allies” or similar. I walk about a little more until I find a helmet and put it on the figure, finalising his initiation as the tank.

      Then I walk about trying to find DPS gear, which starts out with a black leather tunic.

      The dream ends.

      “My men have it handled”

      This dream primarily took place from a bodiless observer perspective.

      In this snippet I am involved, might even be leading a band of outlaws. We are on horses and approach a transport protected by a fair amount of warriors on horses. There is of course a medieval feel to the scenario, which takes place in a fairly barren – with sporadic blotches of grass –, rocky and jagged mountain pass. It feels like early forenoon under a sunny cloudless sky.

      As we approach the carriage the dream shifts immediately into the wagon. In it is a fat, balding, hedonistic and cynical noble, lying down amongst pillows blankets and mattresses in soft warm lighting. He is dressed in a soft grey robe of sorts and he seems to be gorging himself on some sort of food. He oozes content for peasants and lesser subjects. He is approached by an advisor of sorts, who explains that the carriage has come under attack, with some concern in his voice. With some arrogance, and mild irritation at the disturbance the nobleman responds “Bah! This rabble is no match for my trained men.”

      There is a shift in narrative. I am now embodied in one of the guardsmen protecting the carriage. I am standing on the road in the jagged scenery observing the carriage and horses driving away up a fairly steep mountain road. I am with my comrades and the noble and we have all been stripped down to our underwear – which is white boxers all around. In the air a heavy vibe of embarrassment and defeat is palpable. For some reason we have to climb a vertical strip of cliff, it is almost as a wall, as on the top it is completely flat and plane. From where I am climbing up I experience slight difficulty in getting up to the flat plane. A thin layer of snow covers the edges of the precipice and aside from this the planes are covered in a thin layer of water where the light grey surface of the rock doesn’t take up visual space. The wall-like cliff side I have just climbed curves backwards to my left and I get a vision of a castle-like town over my left hand shoulder. The embarrassment arise as a result of knowing that we now have to go back and report the encounter to our leaders here.

      End of dream.
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