• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. nothing much again.

      by , 10-19-2020 at 07:01 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      No Jamie dreams this week. Even though i usually have one dream of her once a week for like almost over 2 years now??? It's not unusual for a week or two to go by where she's not present. I must say I've never had a more consistent character in my dreams. Are these dreams my own obsession? Her's? or something else trying to convince me of a delusion?

      Dream 1

      I was moving or something. My dad came to pick me up and we started driving to my new place. at some point the car was going up a steep hill in Olds, it stopped and I started freaking out. The dream sped up and we stopped at a Tim Horton's. I had no debit or cash but I had silver coins. I was trying to pay for coffee with silver coins. There was a table with other silver coins. the till guy was an older guy and he saw me put the coins on a stack on the table. I realized that wasn't the way to pay so I tried getting my coins back.

      Dream 2

      Something about living somewhere with lots of extra rooms, Some were hidden.
    2. disturbing

      by , 09-21-2020 at 09:48 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Only Jamie Dream I had was she was at a table with a ridiculous amount of lines of coke... Really hope she is not doing harmful drugs anymore... And i really miss the dreams where we would hang out lots.

      Work Related?


      I was lost in some abandoned city. I tried callinga guy from work for a ride home. He answered but acted like he couldn't hear me. I kept saying ,"hello, hello,"

      disturbing

      Very disturbing dream where i was a woman in this dream and I was raped in a dark room.... I won't go into the details.

      Family

      A family related dream. I was in a town somewhere with my dad. something about music..
    3. cxxiv.

      by , 07-30-2020 at 08:45 PM
      24th May

      Dream:

      Was in some kind of gallery or museum. The room was large and square. It had a lower tier/level kind of, also square and I walked down to it with some stairs. H was there I think and I was supposed to connect some displays of paintings with power, but I only had a single extension lead.

      (Some section I don't remember.)

      Then, as I was talking to someone a delegation appeared or something and a few others including H got close to the group. There was a mayor of some kind and the museum's curator. My dad was also part of this delegation. He had a dark brown suit and seemed taller and younger. Then he started moving ahead of the group into some hall and the group followed him.

      I didn't really want to join this event but H said something to me from behind and said I should go because of dad, giving me a push and then I just continued with the momentum. Then in some other room, dad and this other guy start climbing some nonsensical spiral staircase. It was made with beautifully stained wood and a carved/turned centre pillar, but for some reason only had a bannister/railing on the inner side of the steps. It went very high up, four or five stories.

      I was feeling my fear of heights so I didn't look down or backwards and wondered how the hell I was going to get back down.

      Because of the missing bannister bit, we were all climbing the staircase by pulling ourselves up on the centre pillar or something. I remembering seeing dad reach the top and jumping to a flat area just under ceiling level and over a wall.

      The whole place looked highly decorated and detailed in a neo-classic style, mostly comprising wood or painted wood. Eventually I got to the top too and I wasn't sure about the jump but the point of view changed from my eye sight to an overview of the area and then I jumped.

      Then the rest of the dream was in this sort of top down view. I walked around this secluded area and eventually found some portal or something? And then I became like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.

      I have no more recall of the dream.



      Notes:
      - Not too long after this dream I started work on a virtual gallery project in which I pretty much wanted to embody this general neo-classic styling and museum feel. Some of this idea of powered displays must have bled through into my subconscious because I did indeed later on create something similar for my project.
      - The suit my dad was wearing was in the style of a suit I remember him actually wearing when he was more given to wearing suits anyway because of work.
      - In retrospect, H's presence in this dream was a bit "guide-like" I suppose, as H's role was fairly limited in the dream but somewhat essential for the action to unfold as it did.
    4. June 23th, 2020 SP, Non-lucids and Lucids

      by , 06-23-2020 at 09:08 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      Not a lucid but two nights ago I had a nightmare, I was in my room at my dad's old house, and I was lying upside down and when I looked up there was a scary girl with dark hair like in the ring.

      This morning, I had SP, I kept thinking I was going to imagine something scary into my room but nothing came, I was struggling to lift my arms, I could feel them detaching slightly. Random note, I'm starting to think it's messed up that when I'm caught in those situations, the immediate thought isn't "it's hard to breathe" but it's "please don't imagine something scary coming into the room."

      I had a chain of lucids as well, I'm having trouble recalling all of them though. It seemed like in each one there wasn't a dream sign that made my realize I was dreaming, the first one I was kinda just like 'oh wait this is a dream' and then went into a lucid, and then the rest were me going back into dreams with a slight awareness that turned into a lucid.

      In one of the lucids I was in what looked like a diner but was a bit bigger, the floor was checkered black and white. There was a person behind a circular counter. I turned to them and said "tell me a joke" and then they just started saying "plane crash plane crash plane crash" over and over, I shrugged and turned to another guy and said the exact same thing and then he said "plane crash plane crash plane crash." I turned to a guy and asked him to tell me a joke and he starts explaining a joke but it was like the words were rearranged in the sentences and it sounded really strange like he was saying random words out of order. I turned to a waitress walking by (it actually may have been a robot waitress) and asked her to tell me a joke, and she explodes into this really intricate joke that sounds more like an elaborate story but the dream faded.

      In another lucid I'm inside my friend Will's old house, I start thinking "okay this is a dream" and rubbing my hands together to feel the friction. I then start doing math, 1+1 =2, 2+2 = 4 etc. There are people in the house walking around and I'm like "hey guys this is a dream" and people are kinda just looking at me and then going about their business, it feels like if you tell somebody something and it should elicit a reaction but they aren't really listening but instead are nodding and smiling. I turn towards a window overlooking a lake. I decide I'd like to go through it, so I put my hand up to the glass and I merge through the glass and out to the backyard.

      At some point I'm in a parking lot and it's dark outside. I start rubbing my hands together to feel friction. I then think that it's too dark out and I'd like to make it day time. There are giant trees in front of me over a moonlit sky in my view. I shout 'ILLUMINATE!' but it doesn't turn to day, it just gets a little bit brighter. I shout "CLARITY NOW!" and it gets a little bit brighter but it almost was like a strange filter got put on my sight, like it was still nighttime but there was now a purple and green hue on the outlines of trees and clouds in the sky. I take note of the weird colors and then look around. There are a bunch of random people from different directions running together into a single path. I jump over a row of bushes and down a set of concrete steps with railings next to them and bushes. I see people running on a concrete/brick path which takes a left and then curves right next to a row of buildings. Thinking back this was probably inspired by the quad at my university. I think to myself I wonder if I could imagine Liz into the lucid. I see someone in the pack of runners who looks like her from behind. I start running and weave in between people, I start doing math out loud to try to stabilize the dream 3x3=9. When I get near her I grab her shoulder and she turns around but instead of her it's vic g. from my high school and she's wearing pink and blue makeup. I stand there in confusion as runners shove past us up the path.
    5. May 22, 2020 Non-lucid

      by , 05-22-2020 at 04:09 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      It was night time, I was in a neighborhood, it might've started at my old house in KC but I was walking down the sidewalk and looked left to see a very small house with a small porch, Anna n was sitting parallel to the sidewalk and I thought Liz was sitting with her back facing me. They both came down and I gave Anna a hug, then went to hug Liz. She embraced me and hugged me close, I kissed her but when she pulled away from me it was not her but Celia who looked very shocked. I was shocked too, I started apologizing saying I thought it was Liz and Anna started laughing and I felt that she was trying to sabotage me. I freak out because I'm trying to explain the situation and I'm trying to find Liz.

      I end up at what I assume is Liz's house which is a big house in another neighborhood, I really can't recognize this house and I'm not sure where it is IRL. But I'm inside looking for her, I open up a door to find pizza boxes with Domino's pizza in it spread out in a room. I see Nate on a bean bag chair and Liz on a couch, I say "hey you guys" or something like that, I then ask Liz to talk alone. We go up to the attic and I start explaining what happened but there's other people in the room listening too. At some point we're outside and people are shooting on a lowered basketball hoop, Liz turns to me and says that I can still stay the night if I want because she wanted someone to sleep with, she explained she wanted something for 5 minutes so that she could go to sleep quicker. I felt really guilty and was freaking out the entire dream trying to explain it was an accident and I thought it was her that I had kissed, but logic wasn't serving me because it actually had been her when I went in for the kiss.

      Another dream I'm looking at what is supposed to be different Mario games, the style switches when the game switches. It looks like a 2-d world with a wheel spinning clockwise and notches inside the wheel, someone had been playing the level but falling down and dying. They tried to do a wall jump near the bottom but just missed a platform and died. I'm thinking how I could get a workout if I was inside the wheel running one way. I'm now in the wheel but it's more of a hangout spot, Kev d is there and Kyle s is there as well. Kev is talking on the phone to somebody but he's using a different name, I think it's Milton. My dad is there at some point with some other parent's I think Thomas r. parents too. I'm laughing about something and jokingly say "we drink to drink" and then I started to get nervous because I wasn't sure if the parents wanted to hear that but my dad and the other parents were laughing.

      My view switches to being in a plane, I'm jumping out of the back like a secret agent with a parachute. I fly through the clouds and see an expanse of light blue water. I fall straight into it and Lauren w. uses her parachute to land gently in the water. I pull my parachute in the water and it brings out an inflatable clear floating boat that we try to get into but only get a little ways in. I'm wondering if there's going to be any sharks out here. I look around to see where we're going and I see shorelines with tropical trees on two of our sides. We start paddling towards a direction and see a giant whale shark fly out of the water and back in, I point and say "woah a whale shark." We start to go under these overhangs of rock and now I'm sliding through a tunnel with a smooth rock underneath me. I almost went lucid here. I realized this was a dream. I call out to Austin p "hey Austin this is a dream.... this is a dream" and he sort of acknowledges it from up ahead like "I know" but it wasn't convincing. We're now in a river of this water with cliffs on the sides of us. My family is up on this tall rock to the right of me motioning me to come up. I slide around a smooth dark green and blue rock and make my way up this tall rock. At the top is my sisters and my mom with her phone in her hands trying to take a picture of us. I'm holding onto this small tree that's at the top of the rock too, the wind is blowing me off the rock as I look down to see my feed are dangling off the rock and I'm holding on to the tree but it wasn't scary. My mom takes the pic and shows it to us, my hair is really messy and long. There's some random people up on the rock with us too.
    6. cxiii.

      by , 04-15-2020 at 12:25 PM
      I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

      Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.



      Dream Fragment:

      H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

      Dream Fragment:

      Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

      I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

      Dream Fragment:

      This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

      In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

      Dream Fragment:


      Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

      The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

      I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.



      Notes:
      - I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
      - In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.
    7. xcv.

      by , 03-06-2020 at 05:28 PM
      Woke up at around 6:30 in the morning from a dream. Had other dreams later but was too tired to make even small mental notes of the details, so no recall for those dreams.



      Dream and awakening:


      I woke up in the dream, I was apparently sleeping on a bed with dad. It looked like some version of my bedroom in the old place but it looked like my parent's room a bit too. I was too hot and the covers, the bed, etc, everything felt too hot. I got up and saw this big red fan heater H has, it was on the floor next to the bed.

      I woke dad up and asked him why the heater was here and why it was on. I thought of turning it off but for some reason didn't. I concluded from looking at the heater or something else that the room was at 49C. I felt particularly unwell and remember shortly walking about the dream room before I woke up in reality. I don't remember sweating, just exhaustion really.

      In reality H was pressed a bit too much against me and I felt that the bed was far too hot. I thought we might have left the heated blanket on through the night, but seemingly it was off. I went for a wee that I didn't realise I really needed, after H also got up because of the noise I had made stumbling around.


      Notes:

      - This type of dream is very typical for when I need to wake up for some biological reason, in this case needing a wee.
      - Being in the same bed as dad was common when I was a child; I'd often get into bed with my parents in the middle of the night, usually sleeping between them. But I can't really remember why I did that anymore or what made me wake up in the first place. I don't recall any negative emotions from back then.
    8. xcii.

      by , 03-01-2020 at 11:42 AM
      Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall.



      Dream Fragment:


      I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car.

      We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car.

      I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side.

      At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall.

      Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something.

      Dream Fragment:


      Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however.

      I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago.

      He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?].

      I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply.

      Dream Fragment:


      There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind.


      Notes:

      - In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern.
      - In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least.
      - Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here.
      - I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.
    9. 27 Nov: Running from alien monsters in the future with my dad bitching me

      by , 11-27-2019 at 09:11 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      In the future, our society collapsed, but my dad is still pissing me off about how I failed his expectations!!!
      I point out that his expectations were never appropriate for the world I grew up in and that I am very successful in my adaptation to it. And he is alive purely by luck and because I have saved him quite a few times. He is out of touch with reality. At that very moment, a horde of alien monsters who roam the streets is heading towards us. We get an early warning from seeing other people on the run. I chose a path they probably won't take and I push my father into that direction. He keeps on bitching. Something about me trespassing a property, as if that mattered in that circumstance. We escape the alien monsters, which as I expected, keep going through the main avenue. But then we encounter 3 creatures like sheep but who talk. They seem fairly innocent, but I sense danger. It happens they are also dangerous killers and one of them is an assassin who had tried killing me in my bed before, but taking up a different shape. I am not sure how it goes, but I manage to escape from them.
    10. 19 Nov: Dad using crutches and sleepover with friends

      by , 11-19-2019 at 08:52 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening



      Meet my father at a train station. He is using crutches and we need to take elevator down. Problem is, dozens of people are taking the elevators and at some point they break. The other people could use the stairs but most just wait for the technician to fix it. Meanwhile we all stand at a balcony that is dangerously giving in to the weight of all the people waiting. My dad assures it is safe, but I try to really stay out of it.

      Meeting a group of friends. V. Palmeirim and some other famous dude join in the group. They don't seem to know me. I notice we all are wearing shirts with white and blue patterns, stripes, waves and checkers. I suggest a group photo and we make some nice poses.
      We then stay at someone's place. A couple of my friends, Zilla and some other, want to go on an urgent mission to Porto, but it is late in the evening and I warn that we will be out all night if we go now. We take a cab, but the driver stops somewhere to pick up something and delays us even further, so the girls change their mind and agree it is too late to go out on such journey. Back home they are still making contacts and checking other ways to go, but meanwhile we start watching "Across the Universe" on tv and time passes. I say "no way we are going now. It's 10 pm." Then I notice Jaime is among the friends and he also just spotted me watching the film and singing along and he looks like his heart melted. In the morning I go out to the nearby chinese supermarket to buy some stuff. The staircase and lobby of this building is from the 50s and majestic. Everything is grand and high ceiling and huge open space. I am joined by my dog Hachi who is hanging around for no reason. We hug really tight and then he joins me for a walk in the garden of some museum close by.
    11. October 6, 2019 Non-Lucid

      by , 10-06-2019 at 03:59 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      The dream scene was this giant crowd of people looking at a stage and cheering. I look at the stage to see my buddy Moo up there and he's about to perform a cover performance of Logic, but before he starts he gets out this little ring box, gets on one knee, and proposes to his girlfriend. She flicks the ring up in the air and it lands on her finger and then they kiss as the crowd cheers. Then Moo starts rapping a song. The crowd is now a bunch of rows of seats on a plane but you can't really see the roof or the wings, it's just the seats and we're flying through the air low to the ground. I'm running up and down the aisles talking to various people. At some point there's an old lady on the plane that we think is psychic who sort of mutters to herself that the plane is going down. People catch wind so everyone goes back to their seats and buckles up. We look in the distance and we see this massive explosion going off. We're in the mountains now on some highway system and our plane tips over and is now this 18 wheeler turned on its side sliding down the highway.

      We're now in this factory and someone is explaining out loud that this is a gang in another country where you can come and go as you please. 1/5 of the time you're doing legal work and the rest is illegal stuff. The factory shifts and now it's some sort of water slide attraction but you can also put skewers of meet in the water slide and it'll go through to be cooked. I see my Dad going through the slide and he tells me to get in. I'm leaning over the stream of water trying to grab some skewers to throw them in with us but keep missing. The skewers hit this little catch thing hanging down that let the skewers in systematically. I see some other people riding through the system.

      At some point I'm on a beach with my buddy thomas. The idea is that we're at a festival walking somewhere. We see this girl who we think is a porn star. Thomas decides he wants to get a picture with her so he asks this random person to take a picture of them. The person takes the picture tells me to go stand with them too so I go to the other side of the girl and smile for the picture. Thomas is doing some quick movements jumping around the camera. I throw up a peace sign and the porn star does this weird symbol with her hands like she puts her wrists together and her fingers jut out diagonally. We get the picture and start walking away. We see some attractions and we notice there's this row of computer workers all dressed in bathing suits like it was some perk of the job that they could tan and work there.
    12. October 3, 2019 Frags

      by , 10-04-2019 at 05:05 AM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      The dream was at my dad's old house. Usually these dreams are more like nightmares with ghosts and a sense of wanting to leave but it wasn't quite like that. I was waiting for my dad to get back from the garage.

      I had another dream a few nights ago in a town that backed up into the woods. The sky was grey. There was this massive structure that was like a tower but much less fortified, it felt like it could fall at any moment. The idea was that someone was going to jump off possibly to hurt themselves. The dream ended up shifting to this modern house that had been abandoned. There was a pool that had been emptied out. One of my coworker's R was there and we were flirting or something like that. At some point there was a hottub in the house and there was a group of people in there that I knew.


      Another dream about being in the woods. I had ran up this tree a few steps and suddenly I'm clinging to the top limb of this wobbly tree and I just want to get down but I'm afraid of falling.
    13. She's Back?!?!?!?

      by , 09-17-2019 at 03:50 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Jamie dreams

      First dream: I was kissing Jamie, I guess she decided to show some affection after all. I feel bad for complaining.

      Second dream: She was in a dark house I went up to her but she seemed really angry at me. This dream was a few days later.

      Note: I had lots of nonlucids, I keep forgetting them. Not many were interesting but I guess I should take notes again.

      Dad

      A dream of Talking to my dad. His eyebrows looked funny I said he looks like some actor. I couldn't remember the name but then he said it, "Jack earl Haley."

      Angry

      A dream I ran into my cousin's girlfriend's brother, who I hate. In this dream he owed me money $150. I was confronting him on it and he said he didn't know what I was talking about. We started physically fighting about it but that's it. We were also in a house/ locker room during this dream.
      Tags: dad, harley, jamie
      Categories
      non-lucid
    14. 25 Apr: Party in an old city and doing oral sex to myself while lucid (graphic)

      by , 04-25-2019 at 09:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Going through a beautiful old city. I find it similar to some place I've been before (not actually, but that was the feeling in the dream). I find a little shrine on the wall of an ancient building, I notice it is damaged compared to when I last saw it. Seems to have had some water infiltration and erosion. Then I notice some strange objects semi-buried in the wall. I check and find a kind of stone with different semi-precious gemstones in it. Old ladies pass by and look at me with disapproval, but I don't feel that I am doing anything wrong.
      Then I go down a street where these old ladies live in and one of their neighbors is throwing away a few decorative items from her house, that are actually antiques with some value and I ask if I can keep them. She's ok with that. I wonder if I can fit all that in my luggage when I travel back home, but I take a chance.
      On my way to the place I am staying, I come across a big parade party of young people, some of which I know, all heading towards same place I am going. I join the party, I drink a bit, but draw the line when they start dancing a silly choreography from some current hit song I never heard of and hope never to.
      We pass by a truck where a dude is sleeping on top of the truck, sunbathing practically naked. It is Avelar. I pretend I don't see him, although I am happy to see him. I have the strange feeling he is there because of me. When the party is coming to an end, at early dawn, I pretend to be falling asleep sitting against a wall, where others are also taking a rest. Then some friends come pick me up to take me to wherever we are staying. Avelar has surely seen me by now but neither him nor I acknowledge each others presence.
      On our way, we stop by a grocery store, but it is in such a bad neighborhood that they have the most unwelcoming entrance. We have to crawl under a slight opening of a sliding door, then climb a balcony and land in the middle of the workstation of 3 ladies that work there. Then they open a door with a grid, that allows us in to buy groceries. I comment how old people from the neighborhood can't possibly buy food there.


      Some walks up and down the city, semi-lucid, enjoying the architectural details and enjoying a slide down a hill to a coastal area, while listening and singing a Portishead music. Then arrive home, which has some similarities to my childhood's house but totally different place and disposition. My dad is there. He is being unpleasant about something, trying to control my life as usual. So I go to my room. I can still hear him and know that he is coming in, so I decide to go out the window. But we are on a precipice kilometers high above the ocean.
      I recall that I am dreaming and I can just jump and fly, so I do that, but all my father sees is me jumping and he runs to the window in distress thinking I killed myself. I feel compassion for my dream dad and I go back to tell him "look, I know you think very little of me, but I am fine. You see, we're dreaming and I have all sorts of powers that I use at will. I am fine, I don't need your help." He has no reply and slowly fades away.
      I fly away, enjoy it for a while, then land back home, but now alone and think what to do next. I sink my hands on a wall to reinforce lucidity and decide for the first time to also eat the wall and taste it. Zero taste.
      Then decide to try something I have been wanting to try for some time. Oral sex on myself. I contort myself in impossible ways and yes I do it. It is very weird because I am still watching from my head in its normal position as another head with my face comes up from between my legs and does it. I feel simultaneously the me doing the oral sex and the me receiving the oral sex. More than the physical sensation, it's the feeling of being two and being one at the same time that I feel more interesting in this experiment. Not something I can explain, you really need to experience yourself.

      Updated 04-30-2019 at 09:41 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    15. What happened?

      by , 02-27-2019 at 03:39 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      I forgot a lot of non lucids. I'll try to remember some as I write these down.

      Jamie Dreams

      Early in the month.

      3rd person view dream of Jamie sitting by herself in a real comfy looking chair. She appears to be arguing with herself. But then I hear she is talking to voices. The closer I listen the more the voices sound like me. Some are negative and some are positive. She seems annoyed in upset. I try to get through, "This is MY voice." I say something like that. But all the voices argue I am a liar and they are the real voice. While I find her kind of adorable arguing with all of these voices, I know personally how annoying this can be *please lock me up.*

      In one dream I am in a bedroom with Jamie. I lie down like we are like a couple going to bed. She looks at me and says, "No." In another dream I find some ugly woman with glasses and decide to try to sleep with her. I hear Jamie's voice in my head say, "Robert no!." Is that what you you wanted, can't have you AND no one else? kidding.

      In one dream I am with my dad and we are walking around a city. We go up some steps to a c train platform where my dead grandma from 2010 is. She says to me, "I hope you know what you are doing with this girl." Implying that she doesn't like Jamie. At the top of the step I kind of victory jump. It's like my grandma is a part of those annoying spirits who are telling me to ,"Move on." from Jamie, are finally giving up.

      After about a week or so of Jamie not showing up in dreams I then remember one of her where I am trying to light a smoke. My lighter isn't working. Jamie comes up with her own lighter but can't get hers to work as either.Hehe she's trying to steal chelsea's thunder of dream cigarette lighting capabilities. Well: YOU FAILED!!! Really appreciate the effort tho :-)

      Some dream where Jamie isn't talking to me and driving away in her car. I'm standing with a woman, maybe her mother, She says, "She really likes you, you know." Really? Why isn't she saying anything?

      Another dream where me and Jamie are driving in her car. It's like the old dreams from last year. Can't remember the context of the conversation but she says, "Suicide is never an option." WOW. She's come a long way since the , "Let's commit suicide together," Dreams of mid last year. Good job. Was I being suicidal in the dream? I know I'm not, but I may have been being overdramatic in the dream.

      A dream where Jamie is merged with my body or something. Might have been because I was watching a really dumb show on netflix called, "Z Nation." a Walking Dead like zombie tv series that doesn't take itself seriously at all. Unlike the Walking Dead which Is why I can't stand it. Anyway in the episode some Hippy dude takes weird drugs so he can spirit walk inside someone and take control of their body. Maybe I saw Jamie in the dream and asked her to try it out. She kept trying to make me aroused in my own body, maybe to experience the sensation for herself. I get to the point where I almost burst and then ask her to stop. she does.

      Got back from seeing Alita: Battle Angel (Loved it by the way.) But after seeing it with my brother I had dreams about it. But it was Jamie. She was trying to put herself in a cyborg body like from the movie. The nurse lady from the movie was there and was saying that the body was having trouble merging with the body because she had no core... Very Strange. I know Jamie had once tried to convince me that she has BPD. and I've read that such people are said to lack a certain emotional center or core. not sure if that's what the nurse meant though. Interesting.


      Last dream. Was just me and Jamie lying in bed going to sleep. We may have been groping each other not sure... But, seems she is getting over whatever it was that was bothering her.

      Comments: This periods' dreams Jamie seems less happy than the end of december and january. Not sure what the cause of this is. She is resuming some of her affection though which I appreciate. That says it isn't me that's a problem. but she is having problems on her own that she is dealing with.



      Other Dreams


      Bunch of non lucids where a short blonde girl sometimes with long hair and sometimes with short hair keeps hitting on me. In one dream she makes out with me. these came after me and my brother went to a short concert in calgary where I kept seeing cute blond girls. Some were staring at me and smiling but they were all with guys, so I didn't think anything of it.

      Kissing

      Dreamed I was exploring some large building with some dark skinned girl. We wound up in a bedroom and started kissing on a bed. She tasted kind of sour, (IRL I have a slight cold so was just probably tasting my phlegm,) I suddenly Had this feeling like I was cheating on someone possibly Jamie. I stopped for a second but the girl looked at me with such wanting eyes that I resumed and tried to ignore the feeling. As if to stop it a bunch of guys manifested in the room on beds. They had donut boxes with treats in them and they started arguing with me. The girl left the room.

      Yelling


      I kept accusing some girl in my inner world, (Mine and Asuka's daughter i think.) of stealing my DVDs or something. I was filled with rage. Asuka said it wasn't the girl but she has no idea where the DVDs went. I checked the boxes again and they had a volume missing.

      *clap* BONUS DREAM *clap*

      This one I had a couple months ago. A dream with Jamie I forgot to write down. In this dream we are in The Dark Tower universe in Hambry. Me and Jamie are walking around the town and she is making fun of the accent of the townspeople. She's saying, "So it is," and ,"So it was." Then she laughs to herself.

      Updated 02-27-2019 at 03:43 AM by 6012

      Tags: asuka, dad, grandma, jamie
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
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