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Last night I had a nightmare that my lymphoma had returned. I found 2 lumps in my neck and was sure that it was back. That dream I woke up from...

Later I dreamt that I was with my ex boy-friend driving around in a car that we had bought together. We were sort of arguing about it since I bought the car with the money I got back from taxes and he got to keep it because it was in his name when we broke up.

I could see bright blue skies out. Midday. I was standing in front of a painted white metal railing. Beyond that was a drop hundreds of feet down. Basically a large canyon. Beyond the railing was a wide ledge. There was a friendly looking guy (DC) standing next to me taking in the view.

I decided to stand on the top rail, since it was not a direct fall. The rail was rounded. When I first tried to stand I lost balance and fell back right away. I told myself:

"This is a dream, why is it so difficult to balance?" - I jumped up again, and this time landed on my knees. I tried to stand, couldn't quite manage it, so jumped back again. -Realistic physics, but I was determined, for some reason..

Finally, I jumped up in one bound and landed on the railing. Looked around. I was stable. Then... I leaned backwards and was able to ease back, flat as a board. No effort. No gravity. I turned to the cool DC guy who was starring at me with interest and said something like:

"Now I got it.. See? No gravity." He nodded with agreement. Impressed, but not excited. I feel like he is a DV's buddy.

I was so swamped from a whole day of school. When I got home at 6pm, I had some dinner, then slept at around 7. I woke up at 11pm and started studying until 5 am (cramming for a major test hehe). I then decided to take a 90 minute nap before I got ready for school.

I lay on my side, really really sleepy and tired. After about two minutes, the hypnagogia kicked in. It was a surprise because I'd never gotten them that quickly before. At first it was a quick flash of a yellow bus. Then suddenly it was like I was running at full speed. My vision was blurry at the sides, and it was like I was in a hospital corridor, with people walking slowly beside me. It felt amazing because within a few seconds, I started feeling air on my face and body. This went on for about a full minute. Then it suddenly stopped, and I was standing in front of a surgery room. I could tell it was a surgery room because it had double swinging doors, and a 'no entry' sign (the red circle with the slash). A classmate of mine came out of the door. She was Chinese and wearing scrubs. At that point I made her vanish, then walked toward the door, planning to teleport through it and into another dreamscape. I woke up before I got to the other side.

The odd thing is, when I woke up, 45 minutes had passed already. This makes me really curious. I was aware the whole time, and I could have sworn the whole thing only lasted less than 5 minutes! I wonder how that works: did everything happen in ultraslow motion in real time? And did my mind just make me think and feel like it was 5 minutes? Weird.

Welcome to my dream journal! I'm still relativily new to lucid dreaming. I've had some lucid dreams here and there by chance but nothing until recently purposely induced by any technique. My curiosity compelled me to surf the web and caused me to stumble upon this great site! I lurked around for a bit and tried some techniques to find something that worked. Trial and error caused me to discover a simple technique that made one of my first fully lucid dreams almost effortless! This success really motivated me and let me know that I can do this. So like many others, my goal is to master lucid dreaming.

My goal is to dream about whatever I want whenever I want. Whose isn't! After a bit of thought, acheiving this goal comes down to mastering two things...

Lucid Dream Induction Technique-to dream whenever I want
Dream Control- to dream whatever I want

Mastering my Lucid Dream Induction Technique
My new lucid dream induction technique inspired me on this quest to master lucid dreaming. My technique is simple. I simply think "I'm dreaming" as many times as possible as I'm falling asleep. When I enter a dream, the very first thing that comes to my mind is "I'm dreaming" which immediately causes me to become lucid. As of right now I've only tested this technique once. But, it worked so well that I feel it will be reliable in the long haul. If this technique ends up failing consistantly I'll have to find a new technique but I'm convinced the former will work. As I have tested this technique only once, it might evolve over time if I find ways to improve it.

Mastering my lucid dream induction technique and dreaming whenever I want means mastering these things...

Technique Reliablity
How reliable the technique is. The success/fail ratio.
Dream Recall
I know dream recall has nothing to do with my lucid dream induction technique but if I can't remember my dreams, I can't have any lucid dreams!

Mastering Dream Control
To me to be able to dream whatever I want to me is the essence of dream control. My dream control as of right now is not too good and is the place I can most improve. After a bit of thought, mastering dream control consist of mastering the control these things
Environment
The setting and all the important objects of the dream.
Plot
The storyline of the dream and all the characters, including myself.
Dream Quality
This is the quality of the vividness and the stabalization of the lucid dream.

Occasionally to see where I am I'll give myself a score on each category (1-5) to see where I am and where I can improve. When I give myself a 5 in all categories I'll have achieved my goal! Here are my initial scores
Lucid Dream Induction Technique
Technique Reliablilty-5
Dream Recall-3
Dream Control
Environment-1
Plot-2
Dream Quality-4

In future journal entries I will only post lucid dreams and a bit of commentary when needed.

That's it for now, gotta go to sleep

09.12.2012

Team Rocket Tries to Hack Me (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This dream was kind of fun, even though I'm being hunted, with the sliding down a steep hill and all.

A nap that isn't too random to actually get some substance of action for once. I slept around 3 PM until 6 PM.

Damn, the recall on this one....and just for a freaking nap too....how is it in this case, I'm remembering my naps, which are basically 1-3 hours of sleeping compared to me sleeping for 4-5 hours and then going back for another 2, or 3 if I'm lucky, and getting horrible recall....

Must be REM rebound, and the experiences of this nap feeling pretty strong....hmmmm...this sleeping style I'm taking is weird, taking naps late in the afternoon, or early night, and then staying up for maybe 3-4 more hours.


I remember two people are after me in some way, I just feel like I'm being hunted. The environment outside consists of mostly autumn leaves on the ground. It was a large and spacious area, and I believe it had at least one STEEP hill going downwards on your right when you look at this screen. I'm pretty sure there's also a hill going up as well covered in gold-ish brown autumn leaves.

There were a lot of trees, most were very, very tall, and their color almost looked like a mix between dark brown and black, they look like they were fading away. But because the environment was so freaking huge, you sort of ignore how many tall trees there were, and they were so spread out, it wouldn't be a distraction at all if you happened to see two of them together if you were sliding down.

The skies are not apparent at all, because it seems the trees themselves would extend even towards space. The atmosphere's color becomes apparent from these trees blocking all signs of it, and the color is a light muddy brown mixed in with some swamp-ish green.

It's hanging there, and I could even see small white specks of light around it as well, but just barely, since most of my focus was sliding down and going up two steep hills that are spread out. I see James, a member of Team Rocket, looking for something. He appeared in a 3D form, like a Nintendo 64 version of him.

He's around one of those tall black trees, and at first, I didn't see him as a threat, even though he is the only person other than myself in the dream at the time. He turns around, but he's barely making any kind of reaction towards me. It's very hard to pick up what kind of mood he's in.

In fact, the more I think about, I think this is just a person wearing mask with James smiling, because the face has a mouth opened, but it looks like a cut out, and also, the eyes themselves are completely black, and probably has some small hole in each of them, so that whoever is wearing the mask can see of course.

I feel that at some point in this dream, it had frequent dream resets.


I felt like attacking James, to try and get his attention, since he had his back turned on me. From seeing the back of him, I could tell he's wearing the default team Team Rocket costume. The black (or dark gray) gloves, boots, and belt along with the long white pants tucked into the boots with the shirt tucked into the pants as well.

I'm wondering if this guy is just some kind of lifeless dream character, it's like he's not taking any effort in at least pretend to feel like he's in pain from me kicking his legs. He turns around, finally....and I quickly look at his hands, and realize he has a machine gun....

I waste no time to quickly dash before I'm covered in bullets, and from that point on, the calmness of the whole dream is completely eradicated, it's all a rush now. Run or die. Even when I quickly move to cover, which is basically hiding behind on of the many dark trees spread out.

It seems James is a little slow in his reflexes, since I could still see him shooting at empty space that I was at a few seconds ago..maybe I was too quick, but it didn't feel like I really was that fast though.

I'm having some trouble in remembering the gaps between those dream shifts and resets, but one prominent moment was that I'm aware that Jessie is now part of the hunt with James to find and possibly kill me.

I recall sliding down those same steep hill I mentioned before covered completely with autumn leaves everywhere. It felt so exhilarating, the simple act of going down this steep hill, I could just get a sense of how it would feel as the wind clashes with my body. This moment of sliding down itself temporarily alleviated the feelings of being hunted.

I recall seeing Jessie near the end of the steep hill, and even though she's far away from me, I could zoom in on her, and it seems she's ready to attack me. She has her mouth open smiling at me, but it was hard for me to distinguish if she's smiling at the thought of killing or injuring me, or maybe she's really eager to meet me and possibly not do anything bad to me at all.

But because of my preconception of Team Rocket, if James was going to shoot me from before, obviously Jessie wouldn't mind doing the same. But there was something completely different about her compared to James.

One, she looked like the exact counterpart in the show, and she didn't have cutouts on her eyes and mouth as James did in this dream, she looked like the real projection of Jessie. and not a person wearing a mask.

She wasn't wearing her version of the default costume the suspicious James was wearing. She wore a Black version of it, with the same Red "R" logo between her chest. I most likely take another turn somewhere to avoid her.

Oh and she had Red Hair as well, rather than the Magenta colored one that shows up and is changed around with the Red color a lot throughout the series.

Then I have another dream shift where I'm going down the hill again, maybe a new hill, but it's going down like the other one before, and the moment I passed through one tree, still feeling like I'm being hunted, I could just sense that something distinct would be on the ground.

I look to my right, since I was sliding down (I think) on the left side of the dark tree before I decided to turn my head. I quickly noticed that they was 1-2 Blackberry Curve phones, like the one I have in waking life. So I make 180 degree twirl to stop the momentum of sliding down this steep hill to go hide behind the tree where the Blackberry phones were contained.

I immediately take one of the phones, or both of them, and replaced them with duplicates. I don't know why I did this at all, since I'm shifting a lot between feeling these non-lucid experiences and just letting the forces in motion as I'm seeing myself and others in third person throughout the majority of the dream.

As soon as I replace the phones with duplicates or fakes, I see myself grinning as I'm holding one of the phones with my right hand. It seems that as I'm sliding down the hill again, I'm also probably using the trackball on the Blackberry to scroll through some information. I see all of this occurring when I'm watching myself in third person.

I noticed that I'm wearing a jacket, and judging by how rare it is for me to wear jackets, it looks a lot like the brown leather jacket I have in waking. I'm probably wearing generic dark pants as well.

After a while, I'm shifted into another perspective in third person where I get a mental image of a screen that has the format of:

Username: ••••••••
Password: ••••••••

And I saw the black circles being entered, so I couldn't tell what the username or password was at all. The screen login had a very light magenta bar on top of it that went horizontal, and it was thin as well. Maybe it was Jessie hacking into something.

My eyes were wide opened, and my mouth is slightly hanging down a bit, as if I went with a trance state of mind for a moment. My eyes were blank, like information was being inserted rapidly, and all that I could remember was the "••••••••" being put inside the Username and Password slots.

The experience was like this video of Light Yagami (brown haired guy) getting his memories of the Death note back, excluding him going batshit crazy again of course:

Then there's another dream shift (yes, it's all very confusing with which hill I'm on, but bear with me), and now I'm sliding down the hill on the OTHER side, which means I would've went up to it if I kept sliding down from the other hill.

I see Jessie again, waiting for me, and I quickly hide, and suddenly, I have a feeling that I have a machine gun, an Uzi specifically because of how light-weight it felt on my hand. I quickly exposed myself to see if I could aim for Jessie, but I had a hunch that shooting anyone in this dream is not necessary when I can just use the trees spread out for cover.

In fact, whether or not I did have a machine gun was very hard to tell in this dream, I could've shadowed the motion of preparing to shoot a machine gun, or maybe the gun was just that lightweight to make it seem as if I'm holding nothing.

Anyway, I didn't see Jessie anymore when I exposed myself to try and aim at someone, so I assumed they went to another spot, or disappeared completely. However, I still had strong feelings that I was being followed and hunted still.

Then the dream shifts (another gap in my recall unfortunately) again where I'm not inside some kind of base. It's mostly shades of blue and turquoise, which is completely different from the orange, gold-ish brown, and yellow setting from outside. And to the right of me is some extremely muscular guy. It's very hard to tell what his visage looks like, since he's pretty tall. I looked to my left, and I see Jessie stops right where she is and looks at me.

I look at her, and for some weird reason, the same tall muscular guy that was really a big blur to me seemed to scare Jessie. She was kind of freaked out, but that was probably because I motioned my eyes towards that same guy to my right, as if it was me warning her that she's going to get it if she tries anything funny with me.

She makes a weird expression on her face like she's tired, so I guess she gives up on whatever it is she's trying to do or say to me.

After that, that's all I remember.

Followed some kid in the hallway at school, followed him into a room which turned into mine-craft. Then i was on the couch in my house and realized i was dreaming, the dream was unstable though, so i tried to get up but felt a pressure on my chest and fell back into the couch. then I wokeup. And expirenced some false awakenings later on

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Test

Meats and Sweets

I'm trying to get food at a cafeteria. I've already been through the line once, but somehow I just got a lot of different kinds of meat. Even though I'm not exactly a vegetarian, I feel bad, since I've eaten meat almost every day this week. So I need to go through again, but I don't want to wait patiently in line, so I try to dart in and snag food where there are gaps. After a while I look at my tray again, and apparently I've been grabbing mostly desserts and other simple carbs. Dammit, why is it so hard to put together a decent meal?

Bus Escape

A man's being chased. He passes a building where two female celebrity actors are having a women-only event. It's about to start and there are a whole line of women outside, waiting to get in. Most of them are topless; I guess that's required in order to gain admission, maybe. Anyway, the man pushes his way through the crowd to try to hide inside. They decide to let him hide there for a while. But eventually he has to leave. A city bus driver offers to help him escape, so the man gets in and the bus starts careening around the city. Sometimes there are groups of people visible on the sidewalk that cheer when the bus goes by. They think the bus is coming to pick them up, and they're happy about it because they've been waiting for an unusually long time.

Glacier Simulation

I'm watching an exposition of various different computer models for the behavior of glaciers in the face of climate change. The camera flies over a 3D time-lapse of different glaciers forming and moving, floating on a dark sea. The present model is vaguely unsettling, with swooping camera movements and lots of little ice formations forming and disappearing everywhere. I mutter to myself that it's kind of scary. Then there are people playing in the water, throwing ice at each other, or something. Someone accidentally dies. The creator of this simulation is shocked, saying that he never guessed something like this might happen. He'd just wanted to make a fun game, I guess.

Frags:

• eating pea soup

The first part of dream is sketchy. I was pregnant, I know that much, and I was taken to hospital where I quickly had a child. I suddenly realised I would be able to name it, and started thinking of names. The dream then switched and I was pregnant again. This time I could see the baby in my stomach and feel it. I went into labour, and there was an argument about the ambulance. I wasn't allowed in because someone else needed it, so I went on a bus.

I went into a waiting room where other pregnant girls were, and I was the last to be taken to have the baby. They finally thought I must be "holding it in" on purpose. At the end of the dream I realised I wasn't pregnant, so had to explain to the doctors and apologise.

This is something which creeped me out. The dream was so random I never knew it would actually come true.

In the dream, I had gone out to the back garden to see mud all over the path. I went to the spot where I had buried my Russian Dwarf hamster and found he had gone - the little blue house I'd put his body in was empty, and his grave had been dug up.

Slightly disturbing dream. What was more disturbing was the fact that two days later I went out to the garden, mud was all over the path, and I found the small box my hamster had been buried in on the surface. Next door's dog had dug him up.

Maybe it was a coincidence; there was always a chance that if the dog smelt the dead hamster he'd be tempted. But it just seems strange. I didn't know he'd get through the hedge to our garden, or that there was the slightest chance he'd be dug up - maybe I thought it sub-consciously which triggered the dream, and the fact it actually happened was mere coincidence?

Waking Thoughts/Dream/Lucid

The next few days I will have to destroy my routine again. Having to work overnight till Friday... Maybe I can take advantage of this somehow? I'll do a bit of research. Anyway' attempting to get ready for tonight' I stayed up fairly late last night, which means I had to turn off my alarms that helped me remember dreams. So last night I really did not remember any dreams. I had a few fragments this morning, but was too tired to write them down.

So, I've had quite a few lucid dreams before, but I've just recently gotten into the habit of holding my nostrals together every so often to check if I can still breath. I thought it was a little bit silly until last night.

I was sitting in my house, it was darker than usual. I plugged my nose just for the heck of it, and... was still breathing. "Woah, that was easy." I thought. I stood up, thinking about what I should do now. I stepped over to my bed to see if I would see myself laying there still. Unfortunetly I didn't, but my wife was in her place in the bed like usual. She woke up and asked me what I was doing, I told her dream character, I'm dreaming babe- just gonna try some stuff out. I wanted the entire room to light up, so I thought of LIGHT! The room didn't necissarily light up, but I looked to my right, and outside of the window it was a very- very bright day all of a sudden. I looked at my computer to notice if the writing was morphed, you know how they say that if you look at words in a dream and then look again- they won't be the same usually? That played a number on my brain, I looked at my computers texts and it was literally all hyroglyphs. lol. At first I was dissapointed because I wanted to check the tasks of the month of dreamviews, then I instantly remembered- that's stupid. I can't check real webpages in my dreams. (Haha)

I walked over to my dresser and thought about what I wanted to do. My favorite form in any dream world is a feral beast so I decided to attempt a transformation. My hands turned into long claws and grew fur, but that was about it. For some reason my mind told me that it wasn't up for the full transformation at the moment so I decided to go outside. I flew up and phased through my roof. Once I was on the outside I noticed that I had gone too high. Sometimes when I become lucid in dreams, I dart off into the sky and it doesn't allow my mind to comprehend any of the landscape, so it loses my dream world and cuts off lucidity, so I feel back onto my roof and tried to focus. I was thinking of just sitting on my roof and meditating for a moment. I had the un-nerving feeling that i was almost out of time. I don't remember much after the roof, because shortly after that I had a false awakening where I woke up and told my wife I had a lucid dream, then wrote it down in my phone.

Later I woke up and realized that I hadn't wrote it down in my phone, I was peaved. But altogether, I had a good night. I'm going to continue practicing reality checks from now on, definitly.

So, I've had quite a few lucid dreams before, but I've just recently gotten into the habit of holding my nostrals together every so often to check if I can still breath. I thought it was a little bit silly until last night.

I was sitting in my house, it was darker than usual. I plugged my nose just for the heck of it, and... was still breathing. "Woah, that was easy." I thought. I stood up, thinking about what I should do now. I stepped over to my bed to see if I would see myself laying there still. Unfortunetly I didn't, but my wife was in her place in the bed like usual. She woke up and asked me what I was doing, I told her dream character, I'm dreaming babe- just gonna try some stuff out. I wanted the entire room to light up, so I thought of LIGHT! The room didn't necissarily light up, but I looked to my right, and outside of the window it was a very- very bright day all of a sudden. I looked at my computer to notice if the writing was morphed, you know how they say that if you look at words in a dream and then look again- they won't be the same usually? That played a number on my brain, I looked at my computers texts and it was literally all hyroglyphs. lol. At first I was dissapointed because I wanted to check the tasks of the month of dreamviews, then I instantly remembered- that's stupid. I can't check real webpages in my dreams. (Haha)

I walked over to my dresser and thought about what I wanted to do. My favorite form in any dream world is a feral beast so I decided to attempt a transformation. My hands turned into long claws and grew fur, but that was about it. For some reason my mind told me that it wasn't up for the full transformation at the moment so I decided to go outside. I flew up and phased through my roof. Once I was on the outside I noticed that I had gone too high. Sometimes when I become lucid in dreams, I dart off into the sky and it doesn't allow my mind to comprehend any of the landscape, so it loses my dream world and cuts off lucidity, so I feel back onto my roof and tried to focus. I was thinking of just sitting on my roof and meditating for a moment. I had the un-nerving feeling that i was almost out of time. I don't remember much after the roof, because shortly after that I had a false awakening where I woke up and told my wife I had a lucid dream, then wrote it down in my phone.

Later I woke up and realized that I hadn't wrote it down in my phone, I was peaved. But altogether, I had a good night. I'm going to continue practicing reality checks from now on, definitly.