Dream - Lucid Something about watching some people reenact something from history. It had to do with a huge group of people hiding in this small rectangular area just beneath the ground. It had to do with books or knowledge or something. They were being persecuted. I knew that they were going to die. The persecutors found them and started killing them. Then, I was in a bedroom, I don't know if it was mine or not, and I was looking through some clothes on the floor. I found some underwear that I hadn't seen in a very long time. I guess I had left it there and forgotten about it. I also saw a pair of sheer black boyshort-style underwear. I had been wearing, for I don't know how long, all black. I had on black leggings with small bows on the bottom and a black tunic. I was sad or mourning something, hence the all black. I figured that now, though, I should start adding some color back in. ~ I was sitting outside somewhere, though I don't know where. I was in a semi-secluded area. I was sitting down by myself, waiting for Austin. I was vaping this weird drug that had something to do with pigs. It was supposed to get you really high. I inhaled some, and it did exactly what it was supposed to do. I was really high. I think there was weed there too that I was smoking. Austin then came. He had a friend with him I think. We were smoking together. My brother then walked up. I didn't want him to know I was high, but it was so obvious. He seemed disappointed in me. I then was looking in a bathroom mirror. I was so high that part of my face, the side that was affected by Bell's Palsy five years ago, was sagging a little, and I couldn't move it like I could move the other side of my face. Then, I was at work at the bakery, still high. I was in the back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the store manager putting on a hair net and coming back. Crap. He would know I was high. I ran to the very back where the dish sinks are. I looked at one of the sinks to see if I could see my reflection. I did, and saw that my eyes were very red. I hoped he didn't come back and see. Then it was like Austin and a bunch of his friends lived in this apartment building. They all lived one to an apartment, and they all lived on different floors, but they lived in the apartments directly above and/or below one another so that when they smoked, the smell wouldn't alert a neighbor and they wouldn't get evicted. Something didn't go as planned, however, and they were all getting kicked out. There was a girl named Jessi that I worked with awhile back IWL who lived there too. She was one of Austin's friends in the dream. I wondered if I could live in the apartment with her. I saw her in the apartment. She was wearing all black. Then I couldn't remember if she had killed herself of not. At some point, I could see on my face that my nose looked pinker and more pig-like. I assumed it was a side-effect of smoking that pig stuff. ~ I was looking at all of these boxes of frozen dinners. I had picked one out that was some sort of hamburger dinner. I really wanted to eat it. The others all sounded ok, but this one sounded the best. My brother then came up and he needed it for some reason. I let him have it. He asked if I was sure, and I said yes, I can eat a different one. I was looking at all the others, trying to decide which I wanted. One was a chicken dinner, and there were some different, more plain hamburger dinners as well. I don't remember which one I chose, but I want to say it was the chicken dinner. I was then walking with my brother out in the driveway of the house we grew up in. He was walking in front of me. I then started thinking about how he was gay, and I wondered if he had come out to one of his other friends who is also gay (my brother is not gay IWL, but his friend really is).
Good morning, everybody. I'm sorry I haven't been around in a while. I had a kind of dry spell. Dream #1 I was at a pool with a group of kids who were maybe around nine years old. The pool may have been indoors. I was in the water. The kids were jumping off a high dive. There were other adults, who sat somewhere around the pool. It was like I was the only adult playing with the kids. I was encouraging the kids to jump off the high dive and not be afraid. But I realized I was telling the kids to jump while I wasn't jumping. I thought I should be jumping as well. Suddenly I was at the top of the diving board. There were a line of kids crowded behind me. Then, suddenly, I was descending into the water. A little girl was descending beside me, and I had to swerve somehow to miss her. I plunged into the water. I again had the thought that I shouldn't encourage the kids to jump if I didn't jump as well. I was again climbing the ladder, which seemed to be rather thin and made of very clean and shiny, chrome-like rails and steps. I got to the top. I thought I'd be afraid to look down to the water. But it wasn't that bad. I jumped. I wasn't very afraid, but I called out, "Oh, I'm afraid!" to make the kids laugh. I was now climbing up the ladder again. I was at the back of a smallish line of older boys or boyish-looking adult men. I looked over to my left and saw that there was another high dive. Both high dives were the same height. But the one on the left was crowded with little kids. It also had a different look. It was all made in some kind of plastic or fiberglass material, like an amusement park ride. And it looked like a mix between a palm tree and a hamburger. In fact, the board area was made to look like the bottom bun, patty, and lettuce and tomatoes of a hamburger, with no top bun.
Good morning, everybody. Dream #1 I was in a scientific laboratory. The floor I was on looked like the lobby for a nature center or a church. There were tall glass walls showing a clear day outside. The floors were some kind of deep-red stone, polished heavily. One other window to my left and about 5 meters away from me looked down, apparently, to a basement area, which was dark. My great grandmother was going down into the basement area to test out some kind of atomic science device. It was like some kind of atomic particle beam ray. It could be used either for scientific purposes or as a weapon. My great grandmother now walked into another room to my left and went down the stairs. I may have stood on the threshhold of the first room and the room with the stairs. A man and a woman stood with me, though they both stood in the first room. The woman was talking about how once a proton beam was set in motion, it would go into an orbit around the earth, destroying whatever came into its path. This could possibly lead to the destruction of the whole earth. The man now said, "Hmm... maybe we should get ----- (something like Swami Sarasvati) to talk about that kind of stuff." The man was basically implying that the physics of the machine were basically like the elements of Hindu religion. The woman said, "Or we could get ----- (some famous Western physicist)." To make a joke, I thought I'd recommend getting the Play-Doh man to talk. I envisioned holding a Play-Doh ball in my hand and smashing it. This was basically to suggest the destruction of the world, but as a joke, apparently. I made the hand gesture and said, "Or maybe we should get --," but I was suddenly interrupted by my great grandmother calling me from downstairs. She sounded pretty insistent, so I ran toward the stairs. I called out to the man and woman, still making the hand gesture, "Maybe we should get the Play-Doh man!" The woman got my joke and said, "Play-Doh man. Oh...!" as if she were going to start laughing. I now lay on my stomach before a staircase down to the basement. The staircase looked like in a suburban house, and it was bordered by a thin, wooden railing, like for a child's crib. My great grandmother's voice came from below. She said, "I need you to go get the money. I can't do the project without it." But she also discussed how she needed me to go get the money to protect it from getting into some other people's hands. My grandmother told me that the money was in a place outside of my usual activities. I took this to mean it was in some mansion in a rich neighborhood in Georgia. I asked my great grandmother how I could possibly get into these mansions. She told me that I wouldn't have as much trouble as I thought I would, and that I should be pretty honest about my aims with anybody I encountered. There was now a tall, bald, black man in the room with me. He stood over by what looked like a kitchen counter with a bunch of appliances, boxed and unboxed, on it. But the devices were actually weapons and parts to the device that my great grandma was testing out. The man made some kind of threatening statement, in a smirking way, about how he was going to destroy the whole project. I tackled him and pinned him to the floor. We were down beside a bed. I was on my knees, on the man's ribs. I had him pinned, and he couldn't move. But he didn't seem worried at all. He was still smirking. He made some move where he was now on his back. He had better control of his arms, and he tried to make some weird move against me. But I managed to counter that move and get control of him. Suddenly I was "my old self (?)," an old, white haired, German man who had been a Nazi. I had apparently tortured this man in the past. I lifted the man up and carried him over toward the head of the bed. The walls were grey concrete, like in a basement. At the head of the bed was a single wooden pole, kind of thin. I lifted the man's head up and said, "You couldn't leave things alone, could you? You had to bring the old me back. Well, now I'll treat you like the old me treated you!" I was going to slam the man's head down on the thin pole so that I pierced his brain through one of his eyes. But I was a little disgusted at the thought of this, and I either didn't do it or didn't see myself doing it. I was myself again. Some series of events had taken place, the project was completed, and my great grandma was up out of the basement again. A few people were around, like family, meeting after the project. But I still didn't have the money. I went to look for my great grandma to tell her I didn't have the money. I found her in her bedroom, apparently changing clothes. The bedroom was dim grey. I called out, "Grandma? I couldn't find the money. I don't know where it is." This actually wasn't true. I was actually kind of too shy to go to the Georgia mansions to look for it. My great grandma yelled, "Well I told you where it was! Go to a place outside your usual activity. You know what that is. And tell people exactly what you're doing!" I felt terrible. I was too shy and afraid to do this. I figured I might fail entirely at getting this money. What would happen? I was now in some kind of bedroom that looked like an exotic bedroom in an Arabian mansion, like in the movies. A bed stood atop a few marble steps, curtained on either side by thin, pink-orange drapes. Before the bed stood a kind of pretty boy dressed as a girl. He had long, blonde-brown hair and he wore a yellow-green and black striped shirt and a denim mini-skirt. He was apparently Harry Potter. Harry explained how I could get past my fear and take care of my mission. It took a few minutes before I realized that Harry was wearing a diaper under his mini-skirt. I started to vanish from the room, but I remained fixated on the fact that this transvestite boy was wearing a diaper. Harry, all by himself, began dancing in a kind of wild but sexy way all around the huge bedroom. I now saw a view from below the floor, looking straight up Harry's skirt, at his diaper. The diaper seemed to be blue, like blue jeans. I seemed to be sinking lowe and lower. I ended up on some kind of portico area with a group of students and a couple of male teachers. The students and teachers were all Latino and black. The students were a mix of boys and girls. I somehow figured that since I'd failed at my task, there would be no Christmas for these children. The children, without mentioning me (I wasn't present), kind of sadly complained about this fact. I felt terrible about this, but I thought there had to be some kind of magical way that Christmas could appear for these children. After all, Christmas is a magical holiday. Suddenly, slightly glowing objects began to fill the air. They were all supposed to be things like Christmas objects. But they were actually things like fast food items. One of the boys, seeing these items, said, "Hey guys! Don't worry! We've got Christmas right here! Just eat one of these Christmas hamburgers out of the air!" The boy himself ate a Christmas hamgurger. One of his male friends did so as well. The two boys were suddenly acting like they were drunk or stoned. The students were all walking to some educational site. One boy grabbed on to the arm of one of his teachers, a big, Latino man with long hair in a ponytail, as if the boy were the teacher's girlfriend. Another boy was at the back of the line, bouncing around and acting crazy. Finally, as the group continued walking toward the educational site, the first boy woke frfom his stupor. He ran back to the second boy and warned him not to eat the hamburgers. The school group was now of little, Japanese boys and girls. There were two male, Japanese teachers. I was now present with the group. We were walking into a forest full of yellow-leafed trees. A couple of girls, as we walked into the forest, called out, "Kirei!" I noticed that the scenery was getting all fuzzy, like a digitized video view getting more and more pixellated. I thought I'd comment on this to the teachers. But I didn't know whether, if I did this, I'd be breaking the Japanese customs of respectfulness. We walked along a really muddy path. At some point, I had to push aside the stalks of a tall, tree-like shrub. One of the branches touched my face. It was all muddy. I just decided to let the stalks go and not worry about whether I was clearing a way for the students behind me. But just as I decided to do that, it turned out that we were past that area. The teachers were now turning us around, but we were walking back on a path parallel to the path we had walked out on. This second path was flooded with water, which reflected the blue of the sky. I thought this would be kind of inconvenient. A horse was also standing in the water.
Good morning, everybody. Dream #1 I was in the hallway of my apartment buidling. I was at the other end of the hallway from my apartment. There were two black boys, one kind of tall, both probably in their early to mid teens. One of the boys saw me and wanted to do something disrespectful to me, so he spit in the hallway, near the top of the stairwell going down. I was now in my doorway, yelling at a few adults, who were also all black. I asked why people needed to keep doing this kind of stuff, not only to me, but to the whole apartment. Somehow a really big, thuggish-looking adult possibly dressed in a red hooded sweatshirt, black bubble vest, backwards cap, and slightly tinted eyeglasses began to beat me up. He pounded and pounded on me until I was lying on the floor. Something may have been really wrong with my left shoulder, as if the man had almost torn it off. But I may possibly still have stood up after this to run after one or two of the adults who were now walking away, down the hallway. I told them that I wasn't going to stop complaining just because of what they'd done to me. Dream #2 I was out on some lawn which may have been surrounded by some kind of small building, like a wide villa. It was a kind of pale, slightly overcast day. I had possibly done something bad, and now some woman possibly wanted to get me in trouble for it. The woman may have been a few years older than I, with a kind of thin, rough-looking face, pale blue eyes, and very short, red hair. The woman was really taunting me. I finally felt so threatened that I grabbed the woman by her ankles, swung her around, and threw her up in the air. She went pretty high, then she landed. She seemed injured. But now I just wanted to kill her. So I lifted her back up, spun her around, and slammed her back down to the ground. I did this a few times, until the woman had been smashed so much that she was finally dead. During the last few throws, I saw that there were two men watching me from a porch. On the woman's last fall, her body bounced up onto the porch, then actually tumbled down into a smallish, plastic cooler that was full of ice and sodas. I slammed the lid down on the cooler. The guys were still staring at me. One was younger. The other was very old. They both looked kind of grizzled and wore worn old clothes and cowboy hats. I thought I'd impress them somehow, so I opened up the cooler and pulled out a Dr. Pepper. I sat it on the porch and made some weird comment about how the woman's body had become a Dr. Pepper and how it would taste so great to drink because of that. The men "told" me that I had killed the woman because I didn't want her to tell on me and get me in trouble, but that now the police knew the woman had been killed, and I'd be getting in even more trouble. I should probably get out of here before the police came around. I agreed. I started taking body parts out of the cooler. But the body parts, mostly just a bunch of shapeless chunks of meat, were all inside of white paper bags from Wendy's. I sat the bags up on the porch. I asked the men if they would hide the body parts for me, so that the police wouldn't find them. I was now leaving. The two men were sitting in a room back from the porch. The room was dim. The two men sat side by side, with their backs to the wall opposite the doorway. As I walked away, on the lawn, I asked the men if we would still be able to cook the woman's body parts and eat them like a hamburger. The men said that we would be able to do it. "In fact," the older man said, "You've already eaten a hamburger made out of humans." I thought back and realized, with surprise, that the man was right. There was a man just a while back. His body had been turned into a hamburger, and I had been fed his meat without even knowing it! I had been tricked into cannibalism! I was now in some bathroom that looked like an outhouse or a bathroom that you might see at a camp in the woods. I was in a stall. I kept coughing and pulling meat out of my mouth. The meat was yellowish and looked kind of like fish or curried chicken. It had the texture of fish. I had apparently not yet swallowed any of this meat. I hadn't even chewed it very much.
Good morning, everybody. I recall three dreams from last night. The third dream definitely occurred between 5 AM and 7 AM. Just as a side note, in waking life my opinions about South Africa and Chile are not like the portrayals in the second and third dreams. The "South Africa" and "Chile" of my dreams are more a reflection of myself. The "keyhole" comment the father makes in the third dream is absolutely influenced by the "keyhole" comment the prospective stepfather makes in Laurel Nakadate's movie The Wolf Knife. Also, I seem to portray myself as some kind of awesome ladies' man and businessman. It would be cool if I were. But, alas... Dream #1 I may have seen this dream from the third person, and from a very low angle, possibly as low as the floor. A man was standing on some lower level of floor, and possibly also separated by a barrier, from two other people. The man was probably young, though he may have acted old. The man was bragging about how McDonald's in his country was better than McDonald's in America. The other two people asked him to explain why. The man, agitated, shouted, "Well, for example, Big Macs! In my country, our secret sauce has an extra special ingredient!" The other two asked what this ingredient was. The man shouted, "Gall!" By which I understood that human gall was being used as an ingredient for the special sauce. That sounded terribly unappetizing to me. I may have been half awake at this point, wondering why people would volunteer to have their gall-bladders drained so that the gall could be used in Big Macs. Dream #2 I was sitting with a woman at the back of a darkened conference room. The conference room was full of rows of long tables. At the front of the room was a large pull-down projector screen. Projected on the screen was a view of a man and a woman. The woman in the room with me sat to my right. The way the woman and man on the screen were positioned, the woman on the screen was across from me and the man on the screen was across from the woman. The woman on the screen was maybe 17 or 18 years old, black, very pretty, with short, black hair. The man, possibly a little older than the woman, looked Latino or possibly Filipino. He wore a frumpy dress shirt. The woman and man were representing the appliance company Maytag. They were holding a video conference to discuss the company's financial results. The woman and the man spoke for a little while and then came to something like a conclusion. I'm pretty sure the discussion didn't have anything to do with Maytag's operations. The woman then began bowing repeatedly and saying something in Japanese, something incongruent, like "onegashimasu." I suddenly noticed that the woman was wearing a costume like a mix between Uhuru from Star Trek's dress and a pink, silk cat-girl outfit, even with pink, silk cat-girl ears on her head. The man and the woman then began joking, as if they were having banter on some kind of TV talk show. I wondered what the heck kind of financial reporting this was. The man now said something about how the South African broadcasting company was experiencing technical difficulties broadcasting from the present building. So the man and woman had to switch buildings. I don't know if I'd realized before this point that the conference call was taking place in South Africa. I figured it made sense that there were technical difficulties, given the current infrastructure situation in South Africa (???). The man and the woman now began clowning around on the screen even more. The screen's view then switched to a view of either a huge office or a huge apartment in a tall building. A pretty, young, Asian woman with really sexy eyes and brown hair sat before the camera, with a huge window behind her. The Asian woman was eating a huge, sloppy hamburger. She got all fussy and pouty, as if she were offended that anybody might expect her to act professional. She whined, "Well, everybody is still coming over here to get the conference call started. So I'm gonna eat some food." I was wondering what the hell was going on with this conference call. It was the least professional conference call I'd ever seen in my life. I wondered how long it was going to take to get the conference call started back up. I wondered if I needed to change buildings as well. I felt like that would cause a terrible delay. But I then realized that my screen was fine. I didn't need to change buildings. It was just the connection in South Africa that was having troubles. Dream #3 I was in Chile with a somewhat wealthy Chilean family. The family was a father and three daughters. We had been out doing something when something happened to me whereby I received a lot of money. At the same time, the father received a call from a company saying that he owed the company a lot of money. We had to head back to the family's home, which was a pretty big apartment in a tall building. I had been flirting with the oldest daughter while we had been out. But, also, something I had done had upset the middle daughter. She was now in the kitchen, pouting. I walked from the hallway into the kitchen by pushing open a set of swinging doors (like might be in the doorway of a saloon in a Western movie). The kitchen was narrow. The daughter sat in a window well at the end of the kitchen. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket. I told the girl, "You know I said that once I had money I'd help you with -----." I began fingering through some American bills, trying to figure out how much money I needed to give the girl. The girl warmed up to me. She didn't seem so upset anymore. I sat in the window-well with the girl. I put my right arm around her. I then began fondling her between her legs with my left hand. I wondered if what I was doing was right. After all, I had just been flirting with the oldest daughter. Should I really be flirting with the middle daughter, too? Then I realized that, somehow, the "agreement" among the family was that I should act as a "husband" for all three daughters. So it was okay for me to be messing around with all three girls. Someone called the girl and me out to the living room. I was now lying on my stomach in the living room, looking into another room through a doorway. I saw a young man lying on his back on a mattress. The young man was sick. He was possibly about to die. One of the reasons, I realized, that we had come back home was because the young man had suddenly taken ill while we had all been out. (I should also say that somehow the mother's death, "a few years back," played into this part of the dream. But I can't remember how.) The father was sitting at the table in the adjacent dining room. His business partner sat to his left. The father was on the phone, possibly with the company that was claiming the father's supposed debt. I figured that there was something I should be doing to take care of this situation. I felt I could be resourceful enough to take care of something. I knew people (???). I should be able to get in touch with someone in the US who knew an expert in Chilean financial legal matters. The father addressed me. He told me how much he loved this place. He had a black-and-white satellite-photograph map of the neighborhood laid out on the table. He pointed out a specific park that he and his family loved going to. The park was next to a plaza and a museum. It was a very prestigious neighborhood. My view zoomed "upward" away from the park as the father explained mournfully how it was likely that the family was going to be forced out of this neighborhood by its sudden financial troubles. My brother, who, I now saw, had been sitting across from the father, pushed a piece of notebook paper across the table to the father. The paper had a transcription of the "contract" which was the main point of dispute between the father and the company. My brother had made the transcription in green pen. The writing was all some kind of hieroglyphic or symbol language, full of radish-shaped, circular letters with circles inside of them. I might have told myself something silly, like this was the native Mayan (???) language of Chile. The father began critiquing my brother's transcription. He used a pen to insert a crucial "keyhole" (as he called it) glyph into the transcription. I sat down to the father's right as he tearfully began explaining everything the contract meant. The father was thin, but it seemed like he was just beginning to gain weight, as if he'd be overweight in a few years. He had coppery skin and a tight, curly hairstyle. He wore a brown, tweed suit, a white dress shirt, and a tie. The man's business partner wore a very similar suit. But the partner was pale white, very thin, tall, and gangly. He wore square, silver-rimmed glasses. He had shaggy, red-brown hair and a half-stubbly beard. The father translated the "Mayan" document for me. He was eventually able to explain to me that there was some kind of claim being made by the company for cash which should really have been considered a "non-cash" obligation (???). It was becoming increasingly clear to me, as the father tearfully explained the text, that the terms of the contract actually didn't specify a monetary obligation at all, but a kind of conditional agreement that would only have a monetary value based on certain successes, which the father did not have. Finally, when I saw the situation for what it was, I began talking, right over the father's weeping explanations. I kept asking the father who his legal counsel was. It took a while for the father to stop crying and just listen to me. My plan was to see what kind of legal counsel the father had. But I already knew that if the father didn't have sufficient legal counsel, I would almost certainly be able to find some in the United States.
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