non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP A friend from school disappears. She had introduced me to her new boyfriend and another friend, and they both seemed like shady guys and I feel like they are responsible for her disappearance. So at night I go to a piece of land where we've been hanging out with them. One day I noticed one of them being very interested in the sandy soil of that plot of land and making comments like "it's so easy to dig a hole in here". I start digging with my bare hands under a tree where we'd sit and I find a foot. I am planning on calling the police as soon as I leave the place, but her so-called boyfriend appears and catches me still digging. I pretend I am not shocked or scared to see him, when he asks what I am doing. I know he was dating her but he also had a crush on me, so I run with that. I say I suspected he had got rid of her and I needed to be sure. As expected, he is a fucking psycho and he confesses murdering her. I fooled him and he seems happy that apparently I wanted him to myself. He kinda invites me to sit down and lay on the ground with him, over the place she is buried. I accept and allow him to flirt with me under the stars while he goes on about why he had to do it. I totally convinced him, but then his other friend shows up and he is not buying it. He doesn't trust me and I know he is already planning on killing me. But as long as I the other guy is around and convinced of my feelings for him, I am safe. Then he goes on about his latest discovery and shows his friend a jar with powdered dry plants that are highly poisonous and how they can make use of it. I get the feeling they actually are serial killers and my friend wasn't their first. I also suspect he is openly talking about the poison while he looks at me sarcastically as a form of intimidation. He will try to poison me. Since I live with roommates, they are also indanger. So I just wanna go home and warn my roomates not to eat anything that is not sealed and not to take their hands to their mouths before washing them. I also think of my cats and ways to protect them from also being accidentaly poisoned if he sneaks into the house with the poison.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP At my parent's house, sleeping on the couch. Some news on tv about a poisonous spider that has been spotted in exotic fruits, mostly bananas and might accidentally be brought home with the groceries. I am too sleepy to care about it, but my dad goes around the house removing cobwebs and killing harmless spiders just in case. I later wake up and I am with Riverstone instead. I am attacked by some poltergeist and pushed and pulled through the air like a rag doll. It's not hurting me and Riverstone finds it kinda funny, but I am getting sick of it. I force myself to reach the bathroom and look in the mirror, wishing the spirit to show in the mirror. It does and it is a young boy. Slowly I realize it is a young Riverstone, which I tell him, by yelling across the hallway. He does not believe me. I splash the boy with water and smile to tease him. He does not react, he just smiles back and go away, but first, out of spite, he shrinks my cat Yéti to a hand size. I feel he is actually afraid of being alone, so I tell him to come around to play, if he behaves. I then go to attend some workshop on how to renew some license on something. It's at some office place at post-working hours. Meeting is on the 2nd floor and there are signs pointing towards the direction to follow. Up there, some people are just hanging, others are already seated at tables, I chose a table to sit at and then some weird shit starts. It seems like this ain't their 1st meeting. Apparently they all know each other and some people complain about the teacher. She comes forward to apologize for something but it felt more like a public flogging. People get up from their seats and continue accusing her of many things, others hug each other in support and others seem to just ignore it all and keep on filling forms. I am sure that I got in the wrong group and I am stimming by kneading some colored silly putty I found around. One lady starts talking to me in french, asks me if I am autistic. I raise my eyes to her and she immediately steps back and apologizes saying I am not. I reply in french "No, but I actually am". And she seems confused, points out traits she doesn't spot on me. I explain it manifests differently for every autistic and that I have other traits. Then my french doesn't go so far and I end up speaking in english. Anyway, I've decided to leave, so I abruptly get up and leave. I reach the door and it is raining cats and dogs. A couple of people who are at the door smoking or getting some air, look at me like "well, you ain't goin' nowhere". But I step out in the rain anyway and look for my car keys as I head to my car, because I don't want to stay around these people anymore. I can't find my keys, so I freak out. Soaked wet, I sit at some garden bench and dive into my purse, which is absolutely empty except for the car key in a pocket. But then the key is broken at the top, I might insert it but probably can't turn it around to start the car. I think about having to go back to the building and try get some help. I am just coming from my mom's and about to pass under the highway overpass to enter the main road, when a gate falls down and closes in front of me, not allowing to do so. There are military all over and one by one they shut down all passages under the overpass, with enormous gates between the pillars, cutting people off. They say this is the most recent quarantining measures, and I imagine my mom freaking out when she finds out. They tell me it is just over the weekend, but it feels more definitive. Supposedly we can still travel freely to East, just not take the road to north and south, but I wonder how far East we can go until we find another blockade. I also wonder if I just walk South over the hills, if they have put any other barriers ahead or if I could come through. Zilla went to space on a research project, while pregnant and everything is just unbelievable. I go visit her in her lab when she is back to earth and my dad comes along and his only comment his "I still don't like her much, but I gotta hand it to her, she achieved the highest achievement possible" and I know he means "and what have you done?". And I feel such a loser, but I decide to ignore him and concentrate on my friend. I give her a big warm hug, feeling happy that she is ok and she goes on telling her adventures, which I relive as if I was actually there. They went on a ship like a huge space shuttle, which orbited the earth for just about a week and somehow had artificial gravity. Zilla had some claustrophobia at first, especially when first realizing "I am on a spaceship!". I see her seated to eat at the canteen with panoramic views to space and then going to bed, in a common room, with lower ceiling and also panoramic windows above head. Before I leave, she takes me to see the ship, which is now all broken after some accident on reentry (not on her mission, but right after hers). There are plans to recover it, but I wonder if it makes sense at all considering the damage. The middle section is crunched like an accordion. When I am about to leave, I watch a couple, she is arabic and muslim and wearing a niqab and he is an american in jeans. She is yelling at him that it makes no sense that he left her. She says he turned a muslim for her and then started demanding she wear a burqa, while he himself continues wearing jeans and shirts and shaves just like a normal westerner. He doesn't have any justification for it, just says he wants nothing with her anymore and that she has to follow him to some place, like a court or something. She on the other hand says she is also bringing a case to court against him, so she agrees joining him to whatever thing he is also concocting. I follow then and take a sneak peak to inside the room they entered and all I can see is a bunch of bearded muslim men sitting against the wall at the end of the room, quiet and watching. Then she leaves the place through a back door, clearly upset. Unfortunately, four of those men also go after her and they carry knifes in their hands. I follow them to try to save her, but they corner her in the back of some building and I don't see anyway to help her without also getting killed. I hide under a tarp and see she manages to go through a door to some other building. But it is some dead end and they surround her and stab her. I get out from under the tarp and run towards the main street, which is just at the end of a small perpendicular street. I bump into a policeman and drop a camera I supposedly was carrying, but I don't recall taking pics. Anyway, one of the 4 men spotted me and is coming towards the policeman. By the look of the cop and the way he seems to want to delay me and not protect me, I realize he is an accomplice, so I run to the middle of the road and into the crowd. I hear the cop telling the guy I have a camera and possibly have photos. I sneak behind some panels hiding some construction work and I am thinking whether I enter a shop behind it or go down a manhole on the ground that is open.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP At a high school like the one in Glee. A talk is happening at an auditorium, but the presenters also sing. I have a mic on my desk and I think I am supposed to join in, but I turn it off. Girl to my side seems a bit uncomfortable at the idea that I sing, so I guess she'll be happy that I don't. At the end, everyone leaves, and a couple people come to clean the room and I cant help but to broom a little bit to help them, an OCD thing. Then I go check outside, and find two floors entirely dark. I hear steps and hide in a swirl staircase that leads nowhere. Actually I then find a trap door that leads to an attic and it is full of costumes and accessories, like a storage to the theater club. I grab my cellphone to take pictures and spot some giant teddy bear moving and telling me not to do it. There is someone inside the bear and then I realize half a dozen others giant furries around, popping up. They don't wanna be caught, so I explain I was just taking the pics to myself, not to post on the web and also I was more interested in the costumes, not them. They still don't like it. Then some kid goes up some more swirl stairs running and I ask if there is another floor. Some guy appears very nervous with my question, so I just go upstairs to check. I find nothing weird, it looks like a museum with old instruments and wood and iron tools and part of it is transformed into kind of a gym setting. This guy comes after me and challenges me to do the exercise circuit. It involves a lot of climbing walls and then I get to a terrace where some people are sitting in a circle and the vintage decor is gorgeous. I try taking another picture but the camera still does not cooperate. At a high school or college again, but even darker. Walking through its endless corridors and I find a group of students who murder others, like a secret society. They do it with so much impunity they even capture and release a bunch of people and only kill one from them, letting go of the others after having watched it unfold. They also only murder on Saturdays. They capture me, along other 3 girls and a couple boys and they terrorize us with knifes and saws and threatening to kill us. They take us to an interior garden with a lake and wood walkways over it and they throw us in the water while they drag one of the boys to some bench and they sit by his side. They terrorize him by telling him he will be the one sacrificed and they tell him what they'll do to him. Some girl manages to reach a door and leaves. There is a group passing by and she joins them for safety but I am hoping she asks for help, but no, she just starts small talk with them and leaves. The boys inside close the door. Then one of them who saw my despair comes to me with a big sword and threatens me with it. Says they are proud of this new weapon they ordered to specifications. It looks almost like a sabre but has an ergonomic grip and several types of saw teeth on the blades and a curved end with more saw. He says it cuts flesh and then also bones. He feels so confident he hands me the sword for me to feel it. Meanwhile, we are still in the water. The lake water is dirty and there is vegetation. He gets called by his friends, so he goes immediately, forgetting the sword which I hide underwater. I don't know if I can use it, but I keep studying the situation. They now want to release us and kill the other, so I hide the sword in my pants and coat hoping they forget about it. And indeed they do. That one guy is not very smart and the others are not paying attention. We are allowed to leave and I say we have to seek help but the others say it is pointless. I don't get it. I go around the school looking for an admin office and indeed I find nothing. I find a cafeteria but that is the most official thing there, no one is charge. How odd. Also, seems that everybody knows about it and keep coming everyday to school like it is nothing. I go eat something before going away and devise a plan. The cafeteria lady is extremely nice and is selling some pumpkin pie and fig pie and calling it the best in the world, so I am curious. Some kid buys half a pie but I just want one slice. I ask how much and the lady inserts on the register something like 50 dollars. I say to her that surely she missed a comma or put to many zeros but she doesn't flinch. So I give up. Then some girl who was watching me, notices the volume in my pants, I show her what it is, she says they'll put my head on a stake for that. We leave the school and go to my place. She is so hot that we get involved in a lesbian relationship. We make out, she fondles my breasts, I kiss hers. Then we devise a very twisted plan to fuck those fuckers. I go back to school one morning and find part of the guys in the parking lot at the entrance, discussing the episode of the lost sabre and whom they suspect of. Someone says my name but the others think I am too afraid and docile to be the one who actually snatched it. I am also the "European kid" and they think I am weak. They mock my tiny European car. So I park right in the middle of all them and come out from the car ostentatiously carrying the sword, on some straps on my back. From now on it is my signature look. They can't believe the nerve but they aren't mad, they find it amusing and approach me with teasing smiles. I open the car trunk to get something from it and let them see what they think is ivory and other illegal animal trophies from Africa. They are confused. What is this about? And I tell them I traffic illegal trophies from Africa that my boyfriend brings from there. (But in fact everything is fake). One of them wants to trade with me but offers me crap in exchange. I see they want to profit from my trade and all of a sudden they see me as a potential ally and want to be in. I think that was the start of my plan.
Updated 08-18-2021 at 03:05 PM by 34880
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP I am a college student and I hit and run a man and left him bleeding to death on the road. My thought was that he was going to die anyway, before help arrived and so I rationalized that fleeing wouldn't ruin even more lives, namely mine and of those around me who would suffer immensely if I was convicted of manslaughter. So I decided to run away and pretend I had nothing to do with it and act normally. I was absolutely sure I could pull it off, even when the police appeared on campus and started investigating the students. I am heading to the library and the detectives are in the corridor talking to people and my paranoid mind believes a couple of them seem to be watching every movement I make and my facial expressions. I do get a bit nervous and I bump into a table and throw an ashtray to the ground, but I am already out of their sight. At the library I steal some chips from some kid who has a bag of chips open on his table. He doesn't even flinch. Wonder if that's because he is my friend or he just fears me. I go meet a friend at the most far back table and he is playing a computer game with cars and he is very proud that he managed to fit a car with a long hood into the back of a truck cabin and make a weird truck trailer, just to prove his smart and ability to bend the rules and codes of the game. I couldn't care less and cars actually trigger me at the moment, but I engage with his enthusiasm, to not raise suspicion. Later on I meet a group of friends, who are all very shocked with the events. One of the girls (looks my old friend Mara) says she would have no mercy for whomever the killer is. I feel very uncomfortable that I am the person and imagining if it is ever found out. We go for a walk outside the campus and we pass by the road where the accident happened, but they don't know that. There is no longer any sign of what happened, besides a patch of sand the authorities spread to soak up the blood. But my friends don't know, they have no idea where the accident happened, so "Mara" asks what is this for and I swiftly say probably to cover some oil spill. They look at me a bit strangely and I say I am just guessing. We arrive at some snack-bar / pub by the side of the road, where they like to go, and the cops and detectives are gathered there. This makes me anxious. There is also Master Harry, a Scott who is like the keeper of the campus. He spots us and invite us along. But my friends feel super interested in talking to the cops. The owner of this place is a surfer and has a long board decorating the place, above our heads and one of the detectives apparently also surfs so they engage in conversation regarding the long board. I am not interested. Then the older detective throws me a bate, by teasing me about a plant cared by the bar owner. I am not the least interested. He asks me stuff like if I can identify it, if I'd like to have one too and what I think about this guy managing to have one in this climate. And I am like "why should I care?". Then he shows me it is a pineapple and asks me if I shouldn't I be more enthusiastic about plants. I realize he already knows too much about me and my interests, which means I am a suspect. I do have a greenhouse that I care for meticulously at my parents house and I care a lot about plants, just not in this context with the stress I am feeling. I am seeing my life going down the drain. I don't know how they know, but they already suspect it was me, and are just trying to catch me. I think about my plants dying if I am arrested and I feel extremely sad for that, more than anything else. Back to previous dream. I am not caught yet, but I am going crazy with the guilt and duplicity. I have to deal with several people related to the victim and the feeling that I am keeping this secret from them and they would hate me if they knew the truth is consuming me. I am wishing to go to some island where nobody knows me and start a new life. I am staying at some pension of a lady who isn't particularly fond of me. She complains of something I supposedly did in the kitchen and asks me to clean it, but I am relieved to know it is just a silly thing I didn't even do. She has no clue that some other night I was drunk and peed in the kitchen. So I go look into the fridge and instead of cleaning whatever, I steal something, like some cheese and bread to make a sandwich. Then I hear her talking to her daughter, who just arrived from school and is complaining about something. Her mother says "well, you're not doing anything, because her mom is Carolina Herrera and nobody dares to upset that family at this moment, because of the terrible thing that happened to her dad." They are talking about the man I killed. I feel guilty again and run to my room. The room looks like my mom's office and there are tigers outside of the window trying to come in, so I rush to shut all the openings and lock the door. At my mom's house, It's night and I look outside. I spot a UFO, just a white light orb dancing around at distance. Then I spot another one, static and the first one moves towards the still one and then they both move away. During the day I spot one again in the sky. I start seeing them a lot. One day I spot one very small just hovering a street. I now am able to spot them all over the streets, spying on people, unaware of them. Only I seem to be able to see them. with the help of some friends, I capture one. It is the size of a basketball and it loses the ability to camouflage when offline. I show to my friends, who believed me but had never seen one themselves. I teach my friends how to spot them, and we can see them in the sky, in strategic places, positioned in geometric clusters. They form ice crystal like shapes with arms connecting them inside pentagonal areas. These bigger structures seem to be regulating the climate or other purposes. The little ones at the street level are watching us on a daily basis. Back to the dream. Me and my friends are now a rebel force meeting in secret and collecting data on these UFOs, trying to understand what they are here for. One day, I am on a bus ride with one of this friends and we spot one in the sky, after a long time not seeing them. We wondered if they found a new way to cloak or had simply disappeared. Then we see two jets flying on each side of the orb but at some point leaving and the orb staying fixed in a position. Me and friend point to it but no one else seems to see it. As I point to it, I feel like I am pushing a button and the orb opens up into a square of squares of different size, like a virtual keyboard. On top rows are bigger blue squares and bellow are smaller red squares. So I do what I did before and also pretend to click them as if they are buttons. I push a random combination of keys. The UFO/keyboard disappears and immediately strange things happen, like some cars on the road going bananas as if they lost their electronics, and going over the rails and crashing. We rush to meet with the others and tell them what happened. They are a bit incredulous, but I explain maybe all orbs are programmable but we need to crack the code and see which combinations do what. Then the girl who usually brings us food comes in looking scared. Says the building is surrounded and they threatened her. Everyone wonders how they found us and I say I actually told them and it is part of a bigger plan, but they think I am just crazy and are in shock that I did that. I seem to have a really intricate plan, but I wake up before finding out.
Updated 06-14-2021 at 03:38 PM by 34880
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP I was accused of committing a murder, but was exonerated from the charges. Still, people believe I did it and especially the family of the victim and friends and neighbors, all treat me like a murderer and I feel this constant aggression towards me from people, wherever I go. But to be honest I really can't tell if I committed the crime or not. All I feel is that whomever the victim was, was not an innocent being and his/her family is equally disgusting and unworthy of breathing, so maybe I did it. I still feel a good person and victim of injustice anyway. Also, there is a dog somehow involved in the story and I am happy the dog is fine and was not harmed in the process.
26th May 2021 Fragment: I'm playing my dwarf paladin. I'm in a dark and gloomy world, not quite like the game and not like waking life. This area is like a volcanic area, but mostly ash. It rains and I feel wet, it's a heavy drizzle. I meet other WoW players, at one point another paladin like mine and on inspecting his gear I see he has an impossible five thousand healing power, but I'm just amazed by it. I take a screenshot to show HW later. I wander off in some direction, with some sub-conscious purpose. Later on in a different place I meet some furries, apparently some friends of H's friend M who is also in the dream in some way. Other ones are random M/M and I meet these in a city of some sort and as I recall dream reality gets a bit wonky here (phasing, incorrect perspective perceptions, etc). This is the brightest part of the dream as I recall it. I feel I'm just myself at this point, not any other specific character or form. Some other bit is dystopic, again very gloomy, cold atmosphere. There's a building, I'm inside. It looks basic, large tiles for floor, concrete walls, possibly barred or broken windows. It has several floors, maybe three, with a central stairwell or something? I am with a group of people, possibly one person from waking life. A man enters the building at some point and he tries to murder someone in front of all of us, using some kind of crude slingbow thing that can throw anything at high velocity. The man is white, tall (more than one might expect) and slender, dark haired (a deep black) and slightly hunched. I see through his eyes and feel what he feels at some point, the sling thing feeling quite rubberband-like; he fails at every attempt, becoming visibly frustrated and being laughed away by the rest of us. He was trying to murder someone specific in the midst of us, also a man I think. Notes: - The dream was incredibly long but I couldn't maintain recall for long enough after making myself more awake. - My initial thoughts are that this entire dreamworld reflects in some way how I look at the world sometimes in waking life. There was little order, it was anarchic and dystopic. Much of it was grey and desaturated. The middle part of the dream was probably the brightest and most colourful, but still it wasn't quite so much and there was an element of lacking order. - There was a pervasively blue/cold light to most of the dream. It was only during the M/M section that there was some kind of bright sunrise in the distance. - My paladin character is likely just a reflection of waking life but it does make a strong contrast to the otherwise desaturated and lifeless setting of the dream. - The tall man is probably some shadow aspect. A murder of distance, to my mind, is immediately associated with fear of contact and fear of personal involvement.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP At some African small village. Some white man is rounding up black and white children to burn them alive. Nobody stops him, as if afraid of the consequences and I don't get it, because all I see is one man. When he lights the fire, I scream in horror and decide it's worth risking my life to fight for the children. I first throw rocks at the guy and hit him in the head. He falls on the ground and I beat the shit out of him, break his arm and try to strangle him. I am really possessed and ripping the guy apart. The villagers use the chance to put out the fire and save the kids. A black female police arrives and asks me to stop beating the guy, so she can take him into custody. Then I am lauded as an hero and invited to some big music event. The band playing sounds a bit like AC/DC. There is then an after party and I come with Riverstone. Someone complains he wasn't invited and I yell at them that he is the reason I am still alive (don't know why). At my teenage room at my mom's house, but different, because it is on ground level. Some dude breaks in my window and I think he wants kill me, but then he just grooms me and seduces me and I feel like he wants to abuse me. Riverstone is in the house somewhere and the guy is alerted by the noises of his presence, so I use the opportunity to claim my boyfriend is coming. The guy gives up his intents and prepares to leave, but lets me know that he will return. So I lock and glue the windows shut. (So Riverstone did save me, but in a future dream. Odd.) The stalked does not come back to my house, instead he causes a fake fire at my high school, to make everyone come out and then kinda kidnaps me. When he does so, I detach from my own body and see myself as a young blonde teen girl. He says something to her ears and she is bewitched. Next time he comes, she actually is longing for him and she kisses him in front of the school colleagues. Since he is an older man in his 30s, all kids and teachers present react in shock and she looks at them like she couldn't care less and finds them all pitiful. Later she is with teachers and colleagues at a workshop where they have some practical crafting lessons. The creepy guy is there too, at first just like a ghost. He possesses or hypnotizes a teacher that throws himself at a rotating saw, cutting himself in half and splashing blood and guts everywhere. Everyone is horrified and then the guy materializes, looking devilish. Now is obvious to me that he is a demon. He grabs the dead teacher's heart and gives it to the girl for her to eat it. She somehow is now fully naked and covered in blood and everyone else runs away. But I confront him. I want to stop him. And now he wants to kill me. He traps me in some kind of mental maze, the space around me transforms so that I can't get out of it. One room leads to an identical one and he is always there. There is no escaping. At first he just taunts me and I get a knife and slit his throat every time I see him, but he just appears in the next room and the next. Then I try to kill one of his manifestations by stabbing him repeatedly and slitting his throat while repeating like a mantra "in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit". I don't know why, because I am a buddhist. He seems to lose some strength and not be able to fight back. Then I kill another one and chop him into pieces and stab and slice each organ including the heart and as a result it opens an horizontal slit on a wall, to escape this place and go back to the "real world". I repeat the prayer even more intensely and feel like I conjure the Holy Spirit as a gush of wind comes through the slit and pushes through the space behind me, as if to blow the demon away from me. Once outside, there is a stairway and as I climb it, I also get the power to multiply into endless manifestations, so I am ready to face the demon if he comes after me. Strangely enough, those manifestations are all dressed up as the Daredevil or some kind of Power Ranger type of suit in dark red and blue tones.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP Riverstone is showing the house to his professor and I haven't met him yet because the house is big. Actually, some 4 floors, including a whole restaurant on ground floor. I realize the professor is leaving and they are at the restaurant, so I go down there. He asks me how I am and I complain that I hardly have time to visit parts of this house, let alone clean it, but I need to work on the computer to make a living. When he leaves, I look at the restaurant and think "why don't we rent it to someone?" Really good idea, but then I wonder "Wait, when did we buy this house?" And I realize it is only a dream. But I lose my train of thought to some story about a murder of a kid in a medieval town. There was a couple who used very incipient forensic techniques to investigate crimes and they were trying to investigate this case, but the mostly ignorant people thought they were actually serial killers with a fetish for corpses and didn't understand their observations and collection of evidences and samples. One day a mob attacked their carriage and they died stupidly. I am sitting at a library table, reading about these stories and I am disturbed by a guy who is sitting too close to me on the bench that runs along the table length. I ask him please to move away and he behaves irrationally, keeps harassing me. Then he farts. So then I decide to do the same to him and start moving closer and pushing him away from the bench until he almost falls to the ground, and he gets pissed and goes away. Some kid passing by sees all my forensics books and goes ask an adult what the hell is taxidermy and why I am studying those disgusting things. I feel them looking at me with the same type of incomprehension I believe that couple from the past probably experienced. Then I visit a friend who just started working at some food processing plant or big supermarket with food processing. She is sleep deprived and something happened that she was scolded for and she is crying. But a couple colleagues come to praise her, aware that she is working overtime as she is replacing two other people who left. So they also get teary while thanking her for actually having brought some relief to them, who were previously taking up that workload. I feel bad for them, because I work from home, make my own schedule and sit on the computer and definitely don't go through that level of stress and exhaustion. I tell them I wouldn't trade places with them, and it comes out not the way I intended, so they give me a blank stare, but then they admit they could not do my job and it is what it is.
12/4/20 Joel is showing off Chiang Mai locations. There are fragments of food and countryside businesses as we hop around a map of Thailand. It is borderline cartoonish at times. Too many fragments. I was dreaming then suddenly walking into a bar/poolhall/game center which happened to be close to my house. I was excited and full of energy to be there. There are fun lights and awesome smells, the place is packed with people. I was moving quickly through the crowd just exploring the entire place. It felt like a new well financed business which had everything entertainment you could imagine. People my age were just hanging out drinking, playing games and the mood was elevated. I begin singing at the top of my lungs like chester with a couple other guys. It sounds good and we rock out while people walk around us just causally listening and bobbing their heads. At a certain point I find Nathan in there so we hang out some, I want a beer so we go to the bar in the center of the building. I don't remember arriving here so I ask the guy bartending like 3 times if this is really happening because I didn't think any of it was real. He laughs and assures me it's real, telling me I seem to be having a really good time. I felt like it was a dream the majority of the time. I walk with Nathan down the street to go smoke or something, he is staying at a house which is close by. It was like 12:50 when we left to go to the other house. When we finish we walk back and it is like 1:15 when we get there. All the lights are off and no one is there but the owners, they are still happy to have us in. They let us in and I am confused. It was so packed and now it is completely empty. They inform us they do close at 1 due to it being a new business and having so many people in one place at once. It was only the second day they had been open and it was incredibly successful. We all hang out with the owners for a while. It is a sweet business. Diner food, arcade games, karaoke, pool hall, and a fancy bar in the center to boot. I ran multiple laps while they were open. Kept finding myself in the upstairs 'employees only' area. The woman owner saw me up there once and didn't seem to mind, just casually pointing out which way I should go. Hang out with the owners talking about the business for a while, they are really cool and laid back. While talking I gather there are now two couples or at least another guy and girl with the couple who own the place. The girl owner is sleeping on a cot face down and the new girl who looks like the brunette from Raised by Wolves makes a comment about how her friend always sleeps in super late because she gave her extra NyQuil. While giving me a knowing look. I gather she has killed her quietly somehow and is aiming to take her place. (This is what happened in the show, no spoilers). There is another guy I don't really recognize, he has a shaved head and bright grey eyes, he is in on it as well. I don't understand why any of this is happening so I just quietly excuse myself. In talking to them as I am leaving I must have filled out an application to work there as it is on the counter of the bar. I consider taking it with me so I am not connected to this thing which is obviously about to blow up. But decide that may look suspicious so I leave it where it was. It's the next day and I am walking back again, I end up in a large complex which is a public space built to be a hangout spot. It is a large indoor dome structure with a water feature on top of a pile of boulders in the center. It is well landscaped and looks ritzy and well lit. Perfectly manicured little odd shapes of grass and perfectly fitted red brick paths all leading around the area. With concrete circular tables and benches scattered about. I walk around and find a food court area with music coming from it. It is decorated like a 30's style speakeasy, brass rails, wooden carved accents, large tan fans, black and white tiles, the works. Just past a Starbucks there is a stage with a guy and a girl playing instruments singing. I feel like I've heard the song before, it sounds like some kind of folk music, they look like people from my old church. This whole thing has a very Sunday afternoon vibe. There is a large crowd of teenagers sitting in the audience watching. Only half paying attention because, you know, teenagers. I try to walk around the back of the crowd to get out the side door but there is just a mass of people mostly girls all sitting asses to elbows blocking the walking path with their stools and tables. I walk around and in front of everyone to leave the building. Walking back down the strip mall it is the next morning and I am super tired. I realize I have been barefoot and look for a pair of my shoes in the mass of pairs of shoes that have been left in front of the poolhall. I find several pairs that look like mine but none of them fit. Before laying down the 'other' guy shows up out front. He has a concerned look on his face but he attempts to make smalltalk with me. He mentions working for a launch provider which is close to here and they have a couple satellites to launch in the next few days. I am not really interested and don't want to talk to him much longer. I have a bed/my big winter sleeping bag rolled out and I try to get some sleep on the sidewalk while people are walking/driving by. While falling asleep I see a group of three cops standing on the sidewalk down the way from me. I pretend not to notice them and begin to fall asleep in the dream. I wake up to a sort of middle aged hispanic woman getting my attention standing over me, I immediately tell her I was about to scuttle off, I am still fairly drowsy. But I notice she is a police officer, she asks if I am 'No-ha' I say yes and shake her hand from laying down. I ask her name and she says 'In-ki-ya' her friends call her. I already know exactly what all of this is about. But I play dumb and look around to notice there are now 6 or 7 police cruisers of various designs on the street now. I say 'Whooa, what's this all about?? I see a lot of cop cars, and one really messed up car' then I notice another car/van which looks like it has been completely stripped for parts, no doors or wheels or anything sitting in front of the shopping mall, (I have been sleeping in front of the pool hall where it all went down apparently). I put on my best clueless face/attitude not wanting to get involved. I gather she's not buying it and already suspicious of me. I am traveling to Doug's house with G, we've never visited him before so we're very excited. When we get there he is overwhelmed to see us. We are all hanging out around him in his living room. We're all nude and his hair is longer and comes down over his eyes. It's casual and I gather we're all kind of passively watching a ritual taking place in the corner of the room. It opens up into a rocky cave and in the distance I can see a burning monument of sorts. It kind of looks like a mini greek colosseum with life-sized figurines all holding hands around the border, like the Indian Circle of Friends sculpture. The flames are yellow and white but not consuming the structure. I understand what we are witnessing is very important and thousands of years old. Doug is talking about people he knows who have trouble understanding their own reality. I make a remark about 'how many people get to see a 5,000 year old ritual, in a cave, while nude?' it is comforting and reassuring to watch. We are now in an oversized tub, almost like a hot tub mixed with an overly large Victorian footed porcelain tub. We're all sitting around the edges. There is a squid like octopus swimming around. Everytime it touches me it latches onto my hand, the suckers kind of hurt and it doesn't want to let go.
Morning of March 4, 2020. Wednesday. Dream #: 19,434-02. Reading time: 1 min 24 sec. My final passive lucid dreaming event (before I allow it to dissipate) in the first stage of my sleep cycle includes audio only (with no imagery or physicality): “I’ll stay with him until he dies.” (It is the preconscious cue closing the final gate to conscious awareness in entering deeper sleep. The first hour or so of every sleep cycle all my life has consisted of vivid lucid dreams of various types.) The unfamiliar voice is masculine but somewhat artificial as the formant is too high (though still coarse) to sound human. Later, instinctual awareness of being asleep results in an unusual scene implied to be from a movie. It features a male high school principal’s corpse on the top shelf of a hall closet. It seems someone may have killed him. It is the rendering of a sleep simulacrum, which is a factor of every sleep cycle. He represents the cessation of cognizance and the lack of discernible physicality while asleep, though sleep simulacrums only stem from mortality analogies with emergence from a deeper sleep. As an additional result of that process, a parallel analogy emerges into my dream’s imaginary narrative. The Annabelle doll appears in an undefined room. (The association is that physicality is not feasible while asleep, so I am like a doll.) However, it is not ugly (as in the movies). It is about the height of a six-year-old and has blood on the shoulders of its dress. There is another (unknown) male doll of about the same height. Throughout this scenario, there is only cheerfulness in my belief I am guiding the continuity of a movie. Even so, I instinctually anticipate somatosensory dynamics and pick up both dolls (which vivifies my dreaming experience), and I walk through the mostly featureless room. As I carry the dolls, my instinctual awareness of imaginary proprioception increases, and as a result, I find an antique pair of roller skates (the kind without shoes). I put my feet on them, and as I am doing this, my dream becomes increasingly vivid. Eventually, after some realistic movement, my dream fades without discernible waking dynamics.
I'm with Tay K and another rapper we were with in chicago got shot and killed not far from us. I became lucid for a brief moment and knew I was dreaming. I then lost lucidity while walking around the block in the snow. So I decided to direct him to a near by store telling him how much of a mistake it was to bring him here. That's when we started chilling at the store looking at random stuff. A girl then approach me and we began talking. I pulled out my phone to get her number and to keep her as a contact. I then became lucid again and realize that I had to be dreaming. I wonder where Tay K was and had a false awakening afterwards.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening A big fat dragon is walking downtown and smashing houses like Godzilla but more by accident. Me and Zilla are trying to avoid it but he seems to go wherever we go. We end up at some derelict buildings by the docks and we bump into a dozen dudes, who are doing shady businesses, and they surround us, menacing. I say we have no idea who they are and what they are doing, but they couldn't care less. So I fly and pick a stick that is lying around and I hit them with it. Zilla runs away. We reach an area with more people around and they let us go. Staying at some foreign country with colleagues from worldwide. We are working on a lab and sharing amenities. I have a nice room for myself, but have to share bathroom with another lady, but still it is very comfortable. At the lab some days I work with two guys. One whom I know and another one who is a stranger and has been harassing me. I know what he is capable of, because he is a sexual offender and I am creeped out whenever I need to be alone with him. Well, he works with radioactive material and he has to go inside a chamber where materials are deposited. One day, I am by chance at a place from where I can see that my colleague locks him up in that chamber, which cannot be opened from the inside. I am shocked but I do not help the creepy guy. I think we are actually better without him. He only needs to stay locked for some minutes before the radiation reaches deadly levels. I stay put and do nothing. Meanwhile a group of visiting researchers, who had been out for a city tour, are coming back to the lab and I go meet them and stall them while I know my colleague is re-opening the door of the chamber, to cover up his action. This way people will think the dude fainted there and got too much radiation by accident. I just wander what he is going to do regarding the security tapes. If they just disappear people will know it wasn't an accident. Anyway, I cannot be implicated.
Updated 10-14-2019 at 10:28 PM by 34880
Non-lucid. This tops the nightmare I had about the haunted church with the demonic shrieking choir, and the dream about the wasps crawling out of my ears. In this dream, my dad was forced (by some evil people, if I recall correctly) to shoot a group of people. This included my brother, my sister, my aunts and uncles, some of my cousins, and others. Then, he had to shoot himself. My mom and I were spared, for some reason, but we were forced to watch as our relatives stood there and my dad pointed the weapon at them. I woke up before it got violent, thankfully. But holy hell my subconscious must hate me. Took me a while to fall back asleep after this one. Awful.
Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions 2018-11-18 The first of the four dreams occurred during the night, in response/preparation to our dream workshop during the evening and the interpretation round this morning. They occurred in the wake of an Ayahuasca ceremony which took place on the Friday, which for me were heavily themed around (A) the practice of acting/doing what I felt like, risking to provoke and loose standing from my friends and (B) learning to see under and past the emotional pain – that is not staring myself blind at the stuff that is troubling me, without ignoring it either, but allowing myself to see the broader picture. Dream 1: Sexual fantasy turns to voice from beyond, which culminates in a brutal murder and forgiveness of inner children. I am lying in the ceremony room, where a couple of us have gone to bed. Nala and I are starting to make out and she starts inviting to sex. I am thrilled, yet I don’t quite do anything about it. Eventually she calls out to Mads something along the lines “Mads I am trying to have sex with Dennis, but he doesn’t really seem to want to go along.” I quickly respond “Yes, Yes I do” and then we start having sex, she guiding me inside her. The dream then changes. Now there is some darkness and a female voice is calling out to me: “This is karmic, I will meet you in the summer.” I think to myself this pertains to a soulmate or girlfriend to come and I pull her out of the shadows, so that now I am staring at a doll face, that doesn’t seem to have any real facial features except the contours of the doll face and some long blonde hair. I ask her if she can provide additional details of herself, at which point I look at the doll face and see that her cheeks round up a bit. Other than that nothing else happens. I then parcour jump down into the basement, meant for parking cars. There I meet two boys, one is about 4-5 years old another is maybe 7-9. The young boy tells the older “This is where you did me wrong (or: this is where you annihilated me)”. The older doesn’t seem to quite understand, but then the story continues. Then a 12-13 year old guy appears – there is no question that he is a bully and he is much bigger, both taller, more muscular and fatter, he has a distinctly malicious energy about his person - while the two aforementioned remain hidden down behind a corner. The big guys is there to bully and the 7-9 year old then pushes the smaller one out from behind the corner, he seems to blush and turn red around the cheeks while doing so. As the youngest run out the Bully picks him up. As he picks him up he turns into a small baby of 6 months or maybe even smaller as in still a fetus. As soon as he has picked him up he walks over to a railing and slams the head of the youngest down into this railing. Killing him. The youngest looks like a doll and I say something along the lines of “Ah it was a doll”. However then the scenario shifts about and from above the doll is seen lying on the ground, and it is clear that the Bully has killed the youngest fetus/6months old cold blooded. The 7-9 year old is devastated and I am now back in my body and participating in my dream. It is clear to me that my reason for being there is that I must forgive the 7-9 year old, that is the karmic stuff the woman was talking about. I sit down with the guy and we both cry like babies. I don’t think I have ever been so wrecked by guilt, disgust, anger, sorrow and empathy for the guy. It is difficult containing all these ambivalent feelings and focus on forgiving him, yet this is what I sit down with him and do. Dream Ends. Dream 2: Walking through a fairgrounds in the rain. I am outside in a fairgrounds of some description. The atmosphere is holiday-like and I am walking around by myself, though there are many people around. I am walking past playful attractions, like a bouncy castle where I wonder if it is OK I am wearing shoes. I also walk past loads of food outlets – notably fastfood ones, like Sunset Boulevard and McDonald’s – and contemplate buying food, though I don’t in the end. It starts raining, severely. I get drenched in my brown Polo shirt, which I received from a friend of mine about 15-20 years ago. I wonder to myself how I will manage being all drenched and I take off my shoes and find that they are completely soaked in and filled with water as well. Dream Ends: Interlude: Before going into the dreams that followed later this day it is worth while noting a few events that transpired. The reason being that heavy emphasis was placed on sharing and interpreting these above dreams before the following 2 occurred. Thus the following two dreams can be both expressions of the same primarily activated themes, but also responses to the interpretations that were carried out. So I interpreted the first dream as essentially carrying a theme, which is best summarised as the relationship between various inner children. The narrative transformations provide some indications as to what the theme is about, I think. The dream starts out as a sexual fantasy – which is both day residue, as we fell asleep together and both of us apparently experienced fear and confusion as to what the connection was all about, as well as a pinpointing of a challenge I experience in intimate relations (the fear of reaching out, making the first move and committing to expose myself through expressing desire and attraction) – that then transforms to a karmic message “This is about karma, I will meet you in the summer”, which is a dialogue with a “faceless” woman (which carries on a theme of recent where a veiled woman has made herself known, as well a running into “the guy who wants to remain hidden” on the same night in a different dream), which then leads to a display of the killing of the youngest child (4-5 years old, turns into 6 months/fetus) through the brutal action of the 12-13 year old, but guided by the 7-9 year old. The intense emotionality, the supernatural aspects as well as the residual impact leads me to suspect this as a prospective dream, indicating that a dawning realisation of the interrelation between various “sub-programmes”. I suspect this is related to the connection between my fear of intimacy (which was prevalent with Nala) and my fear of promoting myself. The reason I suspect this was that when I was discussing some of the potential meanings of these boys of various ages with Mads on the way back from the weekend the 12 year old reminded me of a time when I had a crush on a girl from my class (Djana), though I never really dared to admit it. I could admit it to myself, but I was afraid of admitting to it publicly, which has been a recurring story ever since. This theme of public displays of affection was actually activated as an element of conscious reflection during the breakfast, where I engaged with Nala in an intimate fashion. So it is as if at least 3 of these 4 inner children are known to me. (1) Fetus//6 months old – pertaining to being abandoned (in the womb through smoking, alcohol consumption and potentially a polluted motivation of wanting to keep a hold on my dad, indicating a dysfunctional relation already then and the traumatic experience at 1,5 months old that I have talked to my mother about) (2) the 4-5 year old (The memory of getting punished for reaching out for food, being shamed and made wrong, as confirmed by my cousin who was in the memory) (3) the 12-14 year old (associated with being afraid to publicly commit to attraction and already at this point in time experiencing difficulty in expressing sexual desire or making the first moves. The 4th (the 7-8 year old) is so far unknown to me (it is the period of my life where I first discovered computer gaming, is the first that springs to mind). In any case the notion around Djana becomes present in one of the following dreams. Dream 3: How can one loose a space ship, well apparently it is because we forget how to look at the stars at night. There is a vista of a city skyline in bright sunlight. I am overlooking this from the water, a river I think. Then a portal opens and a version of the starship Enterprise appears. Then another and another I think of up to 6 or 7 appear. They are all slightly different, with different details around particular the engines, but it is important and it is made known to me that these differences matter, as it is a proof that I am not “just seeing things”. Then an alarm is sounded, or it is made known that we have lost a starship. There is a meeting of various generals from all over the world. Then a question is posed “How is it even spotted when it is hanging out there in the outskirts of the solar system in the darkness?” and an immediate, but also embarrassing answer (because it is so obvious) is posed. “Our allies (a different species) can walk in space and so can easily see spaceships in the darkness”. Then the Iranian general walks out to observe the stars and train his vision, but also do something of some description to retrieve the starship. Dream Ends: Dream 4: At a party, going home early to meet Djana, but is instead greeted by 6-7 aliens looking for Hude Dant – which I recognise as an obvious allusion to Hugh Grant. I am out partying with my friends. I decide to rather quickly return home and here I hope that I will find Djana at home. When I return I notice a small car parking on the other side of the road. It is driven by a woman – who is sitting in shadows and whom I have an awkward feeling about – we have a history and she is somehow connected to picking up Djana or someone else. I walk in and am pleased to find that the doors are open and that there is a light on. I walk in and down to the basement, but can’t find Djana. Instead I find my laptop lying on the sofa. Then a whole bunch of people walk in. I immediately know that they are aliens disguised as humans and that they are somehow connected with the previous spaceships (though I have no explicit memory of the previous dream, in this dream). There are 3-5 of them in the room and they are looking for Hude (or Lube) Dant, but I also know that this is a poor way to cover up that they are looking for Hugh Grant. There is a scenario shift to a driving car with 2 aliens in it, where one has disguised itself as a Dane and another as a Swede. There is a statement that I should keep away from Copenhagen and that there is something funny about this disguised Dane speaking Danish. It is all connected to a greater mission of sorts. Dream Ends: Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions
Updated 11-19-2018 at 02:31 PM by 35291
Pennywise from 'It' and I made a pact. He granted me a power, telekinesis. I approached a guy who had always been bullying me. He was perhaps 10, and I think so was I. I wanted to just lift him with TK and pull him towards me. To scare him, maybe hurt him. But when he was suspended in the air in front of me, he looked dead. Like, I'd accidentally snapped his neck by pulling him so violently or something. That's when Pennywise began haunting me. I could feel the terror building inside of me as he got creepier and creepier, but then my real-life alarm clock went off and saved me. Phew.
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