• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. A fragment after a mantra | [23.06.2019]

      by , 06-23-2019 at 07:21 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      FNaF + school + Doctor Who + ...Ļ
      ≤I remember being in my old primary school, about first or second grade. I am one of the children, seemingly coming from another class because I had to be assigned a new place to sit, a kid changing seats to the one next to him to let me sit there. I place down my bag at my new sitting place and listen to the female teacher.
      It seems we will go to visit.. something having to do with the Five Nights at Freddy's animatronic 'Circus Baby', according to what she says. Can't exactly remember what she says, though.

      The dream is skipping to our teacher going down to check on the animatronic, opening a chamber with a hissing noise as a sort of white smoke came out of it and it revealed the chamber to be a metallic, dark and blue tube with Circus Baby standing in the middle, the tube just large enough to fit her in. Upon looking into the chamber, the teacher started to scream as Circus Baby activated.

      Scene change to a bar, restaurant or some sort of store standing in a forest, the teacher laying motionless in front of it. I know that she fell from a hole in the sky. I am suddenly inside the store and an unfriendly man, possibly some sort of elve or dwarf seems to have something to do with the death of the teacher. Then either I turn into the doctor or the doctor appears, in his eleventh regeneration. He suddenly begins a speech about that the man can't just "play with lives". I don't remember the rest of the conversation.

      Now I am again somewhere having to do with a storm, but I don't remember anything except that.

      Ļ: The school came from the fact that I am constantly stressed out about it, Doctor Who came from my excitement of it coming on One (A German TV channel) every Tuesday, FNaF came from me watching an entire series of Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted on YouTube and the storm came from me looking at stormchasing videos again.

      ≤: I had chanted a mantra for a second before drifting off. Seemed to have helped with recall a lot, even when chanting it such a low amount. I will retry this next night.
    2. Saturday, February 2

      by , 02-15-2019 at 11:27 PM
      I am outside and climbing up a fairly small rock face that seems to be above a washed out gully (with a small trickle of water, I think). It is definitely tall enough to where I should have a rope, though Iím pretty certain I donít. Itís probably 20-30 feet tall. I donít think I have climbing shoes on either. The stone is a sort of glossy, but not entirely slick, bronze. It contains more features than inset holds; theyíre pretty large and secure feeling. Towards the top, though, I think I come across loose sections. I try to break off a large undercling. When I summit, Iím relieved to have made it without falling or having a hold break on me. Now, I am in a bathroom and looking in a mirror. I mustíve been wearing a tank top, as my neck, collar bones, shoulders, and arms are burnt to a bright red. The fact that Iím sunburned really irritates me.




      I am inside some building, a department store?, with Melissa. Sam is here, but besides her I donít see any other people. Sam is at the bottom of an escalator (the up escalator, I think), but I donít think itís moving at all. She is crouched down; there is an infant one to two steps above her. It is in need of a diaper change, which is what Sam is attending to. The child (a boy) is supine, the diaper open, some of the excessive amount of excrement in a clump a few steps below Sam. I donít even see wipes or a new diaper. Sam appears flustered.
    3. 7 Dec: Italian mafia movie, tourism and a rich friend's mansion

      by , 12-07-2018 at 11:25 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I dream I am watching and at the same time living in the flesh an Italian movie about a guy who adopts two orphan boys about 2 years old. It is lovely and adorable, until a mobster wants to settle an issue with him and kidnaps the boys to raise them as his own. He tries to make them copies of himself, so they are dressed like little gangsters and he takes them to see all about his business, including whacking other people. The kids are becoming traumatized and insensitive.
      One day their father comes to rescue them with a bunch of men and shoots the gangsters when they were about to climb some staircase to enter a building. One of the kids is so traumatized that he runs away from is daddy, crying, but some of the rescuers go after him. The other kid stands still without a reaction, but when his dad comes to him he bursts into tears and says "papi" (although that's spanish). I also cuddle the poor kid.

      Doing tourism with my mom in Italy. Drivers are just insane, speeding on tight alleys, almost hitting us. We hear a crash. I fly over the houses to get a view. It's a truck with vegetables who went over the pier and landed on a boat. The driver can't believe it. Meanwhile my mom arrives and wants to help him by buying him vegetables, but I don't think it's the best time to do it.
      We go to the historical city center, crazy ladies put pots with plants outside their doors, basically filling the narrow alleys with obstacles on which we trip for a couple of times. We enter a very cute restaurant which is also a b&b and I recognize it from having stayed here before. My mom confirms she recognizes it from pictures. I go talk to the owner and they say I left a big bottle of hemp oil when I last checked out from here. I had been worried the customs would not have allowed it, but this time I will try to take it back with me.

      I am staying at some rich friend's mansion. She is an Asian video artist. She shows me a video clio she did for an H&M campaign, very conceptual with people swimming in the sea and a centaur swimming with them, that becomes a horse on land. She says it wasn't picked up by the brand, because they didn't get the meaning, which was none. I said I liked it, even without any meaning, it was trippy and inspiring.
      She puts down the usb pen with some of her work and we check for some paintings I left in her house last time. I promise to take them with me this time. They are hideous and amateur, but she encourages me to continue doing it. Then she notices the pen is gone and freaks out. I say the only person I saw coming in was a certain guy, part of her team and she goes look for him in the studio. She is furious because she knows he wants to steal her ideas and undermine her work. She yells at him and they begin a nasty discussion,
      I decide to go check the rest of the house. Her amazing kitchen is on a hanging deck over a cliff, with glass walls with view to the town underneath. There's a large spiral stair to a garden below. From the garden, there is a large entrance to a lounge area where I encounter some of her friends chillin'. One of them says he found a recording of me singing a Grease medley and he wants to play it for everybody to listen. I say no, no, I am embarrassed, but he assures it is really good and they should hear. They are VIPs and might help me launch a career, but I run away to hide under a staircase. Another lady, also Asian, comes to sit by my side with lots of bags, says she is leaving for her flight, but feeling very tired and asks to rest her head on my lap for a while. Then some guy looking for me asks me to join back the group, he insists they really liked my recording. Along the way he sings bits of the song, trying to trick me into singing, but there are people all the way on the hallways and I just can't sing in front of people. He understands. Says we will just be watching another friend athlete on tv and not bother me with the singing.
      We watch her on some competition. She is also Asian, very pretty and with some very original outfit and hairdo, unlike anything I have ever seen in sports. At first I thought she was doing pole vault, but then realize it is some kind of new modality, in which athletes gotta climb a kind of metallic ladder reaching the highest possible step, with a minimum jumping movement, like cats do. I think she breaks a record and everyone is celebrating.
    4. 6 Dec: Enslaved, nerve gas attack, war zone, brainwash camp

      by , 12-07-2018 at 10:49 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I am at some harsh environment, like ruins in the middle of a marsh. Looks like a Tomb Raider game. I have to jump from mini platforms to rafts that are already filled with other people, who look Eastern, like Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, not sure.... Then from the rafts we need to reach safe ground, and many die along the way. I manage to get to land, but I am taken as a slave. I find myself in the hands of women who are having fun dressing me up with rich eccentric dresses, probably for sexual slavery to some rich lord.

      I run away and hide ... in a shopping center... I find a small vet office where I bump into my RL vet. He asks me what I think about his new office, it is smaller with less equipment, but he is going through difficulties and trying to keep the business afloat. I feel a bit lost, but say it's ok, while I look at what I am wearing and finding it out of context. He offers me a t-shirt and jeans and says I can stay there and change, but he has to go out. I feel without control of my body, so I slam everything down into the floor and make a huge mess. People from a restaurant next door come to see what's going on and comfort me, thinking I may be having a stroke of some kind. Then I have this insight that I must go after someone who had parked the car right in front and is running away, while leaving behind a bunch of red and green balloons, which are filled with nerve gas and hallucinogenic gas. I was probably already under the influence of it and soon I start getting hallucinations. I hold my breath as I can and try to run to a safe area. Too late to help all these people, as the balloons are popping and there is gas everywhere. I remember that I can fly, so I rise up in the air, in the hope that I can rise above the gas.
      Up in the sky I find a kind of floating amusement park, with giant balloon figures, like Disney characters and in the middle of it, a cabin with a girl inside, looking lonely and sad. She opens the door and welcomes me there. She seems to know what is happening and feeling sad for not being able to help. She is glad she could help me.

      I am with Riverstone and we have a baby boy. But i feel strange that I am seeing this kid for the first time and he is already 2 years old. We are discussing what to name him. Meanwhile he is getting curious about going outside and I freak out. We never go outside (no idea how we get food).
      One day he sees kids playing on the street. He is excited and wants to join them. We on the other hand, just want to tell the kids to hide. It is very dangerous. Then some kids at another building started making signs warning the kids to hide, but they don't understand, look like they are not from here and have no clue. A caravan of military jeeps and tanks comes marching and I tell my boy to duck and be quiet. They start shooting. I guess the kids died. Later we get into a car and get out of there. That's when we cross paths with another car with some people we hadn't seen in a long time and we realize this boy is not really our kid, but their kid and they have our baby instead, a little girl. They also have my mother with them. We decide to do a risky exchange in the middle of the road with the sound of gunshots nearby. I give them the boy and they give me back my girl. My mom also joins us in tears and then we all head to safety.

      With some friends, including Zilla, we're like orphans in a harsh place. We've been taken in by some gangster organization against our will. My friends have accepted it, they take care of us, feed us, give us education. But it doesn't feel right to me. One day they take us all on a trip to some tropical paradise, everybody is rejoicing and I am overwhelmed with the landscapes, the beaches, the waterfalls, but I always suspect their motives.
      One of the bad guys in charge, one day picks up a fight with me. They say it is for practice, to keep us always alert, but I think they just want to beat us, because we are weaker and can't fight back. On that day, it happens that I win and he takes it badly. They warn me to never do that again, I'm supposed to be a punch bag, just as I suspected.
      Later on I mention to one of the few ladies in the organization that I am sick of this and want to go away. She goes tell her superiors. They threaten me. They own us.
      Someday we are enjoying a swim in a crowded swimming pool and some people come by and invite the older kids to follow them as we've been selected to a new group following a new training on martial arts and civics. I first reject, my friends go. But after I see them learning the basics of Kenpo and recall my own training which I miss greatly, so I can't help but join them. They also teach us some sort of theatrical dance and later inject some communist propaganda in the middle of it, like waving the communist party flag. Most kids feel a bit awkward but don't question it. Except me, I abandon the class and go talk to the superiors and tell them they can't get away with this, they must tell the kids what it is that they are luring us too. They are quite upset and basically fed up with me. I don't think I thought this through...

      Updated 12-07-2018 at 10:52 AM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. October 22, 2018 Semi-Lucid, Non-Lucid, False Awakening, Nightmare

      by , 10-22-2018 at 07:31 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      Earlier yesterday I took a nap. I became aware that I was dreaming but I wasn't really in control. The scene in front of my was flickering. It turned into this weird structure like the one from Interstellar with the bookcases but instead of bookcases it was the blue sky and the clouds. It looked like the same sort of image or block of space was going off in a bunch of different directions around me. I felt very high but the dream collapsed.

      I haven't had a nightmare that freaked me out in a long time until this morning. The dream was back at my house from when I was a kid and my parents were still married. There were things that happened earlier in the dream, but I started to remember when I was inside what looked like our garage. My father was narrating the dream. He was telling me about something that had happened in my past, something dark. I was myself now but watching my child self playing in the garage. There were these white strings that had bounced on the ground and were attached to something away from my view. My dad was explaining that I had discovered something, or something evil had discovered me. As he explains it, the object attached to the strings comes into view as my child self picks it up. I don't know the significance of it but it's this bell that looks similar to the liberty bell with a crack in it and a piece missing but it's small enough to hold in my hands. My child self becomes extremely terrified. I can hear my dad's voice get bitter. I'm freaking out now. The story is that two spirits took me that day up into the sky for hundreds of years. One spirit is a dead woman dressed in a gown whose colors are negative. I couldn't see the other spirit, but something was telling me the spirit I couldn't see was much powerful than the woman spirit and was controlling the entire situation. They took me up into the sky where there was an old floating house. It was weird because I could vaguely remember that I had been there before. My dad was so distraught telling me they took me up there for hundreds of years but for them it only lasted a blink of a second. I was just finding all of this out now.

      I woke up in a false awakening in my dad's old house. I ran to the door with my mom on the phone, I was asking her if it was real. She couldn't answer which told me it had been real. The door was locked and I was frantically trying to open it because I could feel the spirit behind me. I burst through and ran downstairs to see my dad in the kitchen. I walked over to him crying and wrapped my arms around him.

      I woke up in another false awakening, this time in my current room. Because my closet door was open, it made a tall giant dark figure in the corner of my eye. I was in sleep paralysis. At first, the shadow wasn't doing anything, but then I thought it might move and it became evil. The thing just flew at my face and was hovering there. I was stuck in a flinch terrified. This lasted a few moments before the evil thing made a lunge at my face and I woke up this time for real.

      Eventually, I went back to bed and had this dream that Donald Trump was about to do something entertaining yet destructive to the entire world, like a giant show that would lead to some sort of bad thing happening. I was with another person, I think maybe my mom, living this story of two agents who were going to stop Trump. I had been caught by a secret agent who brought me into a room. Trump ordered me to get beat up or something. The agent had taken off his belt and had hit me and was planning to kill me. Trump all of the sudden flew at the agent and knocked him out. Turns out Trump was my mom in disguise. We get out of that room and sort of ninja jump over a pond away from bad guys.

      I'm now in this pool surrounded by buildings with a few of my friends from college including lauren and there were a few kids I didn't recognize. Someone whispers for me to flip over a floating device she's on but she gets off. Moo tells us there's not a lot of time left for us to stop Trump and the only way to get there is through this amusement park. He tells us to jump on this roller coaster on the second to back left seat because there is this really strange robot that sits in the seat with you or something. Moo Owen and I jump into the station and get into the carts before other people can. They just seem to let it happen and get back in line. Most of us are in the back cart. I look up and see Moo's on the other side of the train next to this cowgirl robot and I realize that's where we were supposed to get in. The ride starts and we hang on. It starts to go up a hill as I ask Owen when we should be getting off. Moo yells that we need to get off at the next slow part. The train takes a few turns and then starts going up another hill. We jump onto another rollercoaster track which is made of what looks and feels like brushes for shoes or maybe horses. I'm struggling to get a grip and finally start gaining some traction. Someone yells that we need to get ready to surf. The rollercoaster takes a dip downwards and we start standing up surfing on this rollercoaster down a hill. In front of us is this wide alley with buildings on both sides that contain rides and rollercoasters coming out of the buildings. The idea is that we need to jump from ride to ride in order to get through and stop Trump's plan. The dream collapses.

      Updated 10-22-2018 at 07:36 PM by 59595

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare , false awakening
    6. Wednesday, May 30 - The Child

      by , 06-04-2018 at 04:29 AM
      I have a child. This child is a newborn, though Iím not sure who birthed it. It almost seems as though it was not birthed, but rather simply came into existence. It almost seems that I Ďbirthedí it, by no literal means of the word, only that itís existence came to be only through myself. Regardless of origins, I am holding it, with its small naked body and longer, black hair. There must have been some gestation period though, as I was assuming this child was a girl. But now it is being made known to me that the child is male. As I hold him, my reaction is a quiet yet jubilant ďhell yes!Ē I am warm and content in the satisfaction of having a son. Later, I am apprehensive in the realization that I still have to work full work-weeks and slightly saddened and embarrassed that I still reside at home.
      Tags: birth, boy, child, son
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    7. 2-8 to 2-9-2018 dreams (2 interesting LDs)

      by , 02-09-2018 at 03:36 PM
      I decided that it was a bit much for me to go back and highlight everything in color that was lucid. So it is all non lucid until otherwise noted. And then if you wanted to read the lucid parts just do a search and skip ahead to those.


      I know I should probably be interested enough in my own dreams to go back through them but some nights like last night, where I had some amazing dreams, I just am so frustrated with having forgotten so much that I don't even want to think about my dreams.


      I was able to fall asleep probably around 9. I felt tired around 6:30 or 7 but couldnít sleep. I napped two hours during the day but I was still tired. I just couldnít sleep for some weird reason. Reading some of my older dream journal entries seemed to be helpful.



      Round 1 of Dreams

      Something about driving to my sister, on a road near a local hospital. There was more that happened before this but this was all I got. I had been telling her something that may have been too much for her to know. We were coming from some kind of meeting or class setting. Maybe she had gotten some kind of special coffee. It was like we were driving, and I needed to go fast with certain intense kind of metal music on, I am not exactly sure why. Something about a way I coped. But that wasnít good for her. There was something to do with time? Maybe some kind of meeting. There was some kind of design she drew in the sand or dirt on the ground, with a stick. I drew a similar design but at different angles.
      At another point, it was like she was pulling some stones out of the ground. They left triangle shaped marks in the ground where they had been pulled from. This seemed not okay to do at first but it was fine.
      Dad was saying how she should eat something like eleven to twelve fresh strawberries every day, referring to a nearby wild garden. I got the sense that he was sacrificing his strawberries for her to be able to have more. It might have also meant for me to eat strawberries or for her to feed the bird strawberries. Dad wouldnít get any strawberries. I was wondering how he would do that when he should really ďput on his own oxygen mask firstĒ.
      Then my sister was holding up a small stick from a tree that had some sap dripping from it. We were both saying and thinking how she should be careful not to get pregnant from all that tree sap.
      We had a bird. I think it was a yellow bird. It seemed to like walking on a tread mill, and if we let it walk on a tread mill, it would just completely lose track of time for days. There was a woman showing one of those new fangled hamster wheels that have the disc they can run on, its like a diagonal disc instead of a wheel thing. The woman was spinning it in her hand and saying how we canít give treadmills to birds any more. Then she showed us to a part of the wall that disappeared and had a hallway behind it.
      The idea was to make the bird use its mind and meditate, not just become a ďmindless cardio bunnyĒ.
      I would have remembered these dreams much better, but I woke up on my left side, with a nerve being pinched. Before I even knew I had woken up, I must have felt the nerve pinch and rotated onto my front. Then, I was on my front, and my neck was twisted badly, so I thought I should really go to my back. So I had to do all this moving before I could think of the dreams. Iím sure if I had been able to stay still, or move less, I would have got what it was I was telling my sister. I was frustrated because there was a lot lost.



      Round 2 of Dreams.


      It took me a while to fall back asleep. My shoulders were having a pinched nerve on both sides so I couldn't sleep on my side. Between that and the frustration of forgetting the previous dream, and other factors, I had trouble sleeping. I eventually found that I could slide a pillow underneath my side to take pressure off my shoulder and fell asleep on my right side.

      First, in this dream, I was in some kind of a class setting. I think there was some negative feeling, maybe conflict or fear. I have a vague sense of it but nothing I can put into words. This frustrates me very much because I don't remember how I got to the lucid part.

      Once I became lucid, I was in this office type of thing. Then I was in this hospital type of room and there was a kid on the bed. He had brown hair in a bowl type of haircut like I had growing up. Not sure exactly the age but young. He had his front two teeth and his lateral incizors, but the teeth outside those were missing. I noticed this discrepancy (I am missing my front lateral incizors) but I figured this was a version of myself as a child. It took me a moment. What it felt like was that I was dreaming from the viewpoint of that child for a while, and the next thing I knew, I was my adult self looking at the child. I said hello or something like that and we talked. Again, I can only remember this vaguely, which really frustrates me. It is so devastating to lose dreams like this.

      There was this tablet with a blue light filter on it that kept falling. It was his tablet. I was able to telekinetically keep picking it up for him before it fell. I think as the dream went on, he became younger, closer to a baby. I think he fell at one point, but I used telekinesis to get him into my arms.

      There was a little torch lighter, with the bendable hose part, that he was playing with. This didn't seem safe.

      At one point, we were towards the end of the room and there was some kind of female nurse there. I thought of trying to talk to her but realized I was with the child now.

      I had the child in my right arm, and noticed the fingers of my left hand were really crazy. I had a thumb, two fingers, then two missing stubs of fingers, then three more fingers. I showed the child, look, my hand has a lot of fingers. I already knew it was a dream.

      The torch lighter kept falling and I wanted to put it away. I had the thought that I might be in my subconscious, so maybe I should put the torch lighter in a safe cabinet, where the child can't get it and burn up the place when I am not there. There were all these silver cabinets and I found one to put it in. This whole part of the room seemed to be stainless steel. I found a cabinet on the right hand side that I wanted to put it in, but couldn't get the latch to open for me to put it in there. I guess I let that go after that.

      Then, I had the baby child in my left arm. I wish I had thought to talk more to the baby child. Instead, I was sort of acting as if I were in my own dream by myself, with no one there, just that I was holding this object for some reason. So I kind of missed out on that chance, but maybe I wasn't ready.

      I was near these sinks. To my right I opened a door to a stainless steel bathroom with a toilet hole in the floor. It was pretty dirty all over the place in here. There were two pretty grimy sponges near the sink, and all this grimy, gooey water. With the child in my arm, I decided that instead of flying away, I should clean the bathroom. Since I was thinking this was my inner mind, I figured cleaning the bathroom would be symbolic in some way. And a smart thing to do. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I grabbed the less grimy sponge, and started to scrub the stainless steel of the bathroom. I guess I thought I was going to clean the whole thing.

      Next, I noticed there was no ceiling in this place. Just walls that went up. So I flew up above the walls a little. When I looked down, I saw this big office space with people in cubicles. I knew I had seen this earlier in the dream. I was amazed at how my dream location was so solid, that a location from before was in the exact same place, looking just as it did the last time. I was a few floors up from them somehow.

      I got the idea to fly down and fly around the office space. Then I kind of got the idea that I shouldn't do that, for whatever reason. It might get me in trouble or something. Well, I sort of ignored that instinct, and jumped down. Then, I woke up.

      I definitely hope that next time I have the chance, I remember to just stop trying to be so busy doing things, and actually talk to the child. There was so much more I forgot that happened with the child. He was crying for something at some point and I got it for him with telekinesis.

      It is so frustrating that I forgot so much of this dream. I stayed perfectly still upon awakening and thought through it. But, nothing else. No clue how I became lucid. No memory of at least half the stuff that happened when I was with the child. Sometimes dream recall can be torture for me because I find out how much I forgot.

      I had a very short dream flash after I started to think through that lucid dream where it was a dark sky. There were two light-up letters, maybe H, U, or, H, A, or A, H, I am not sure any more. I could see it clearly when I was in the dream flash but I had forgotten moments later. The letters faded into a black cloud on the bottom of the dream "screen". Then there was a white light in the middle. I knew it was a dream flash all along, so it was kind of like the beginning of a wake initiated lucid dream, but I couldn't figure out how to extend it into a new dream.

      After that I was awake, thinking through the dream. I had some sleep paralysis begin to set in and hoped another dream would begin, but it wasn't coming. I got up to write this one and now I will go back to sleep.





      Round 3 of dreams. .

      I remember there was some part with someone talking about something to do with safety? Not quite sure.

      One part where I was in my high school. Maybe flying, but not lucid. Starting to think I might be dreaming.

      There was another part when I was in the water. I forgot a lot of this, too. I remembered it at first but must have been tired.

      This last part was very interesting. There was a woman who had sort of kidnapped me in the back seat of her car. She had a gun pointed towards me. Actually, she even shot me at one point, and I died. It didn't hurt, but I had the feeling that I died. i think I experienced something, but I am not sure. That was actually really cool.

      Then, I was in that dream again, and she was driving me still. I was trying to play dead so that she wouldn't think she had to shoot me again, but I couldn't stay still. She started to aim the gun at me, and I realized I was dreaming. I had one of these moments where I said, you can't shoot me again, this is my dream. Then, I remembered the last time I did that in a dream, and the other dreamer didn't like that. So I said, well, it is both of our dreams. But I just don't want you to shoot me. And I both grabbed the gun with my dream hand and used some mental will to get the gun in my possession.

      Then, instead of wanting revenge on her for putting me through this, I realized she must be in trouble if she had to hold me hostage. So, I decided, knowing it was a dream, to help her. I asked her more about why she had kid napped me, but I don't remember that much. She said she had some other salts in the car. I asked if they were for punishing me, and she said, yes. I didn't really get mad at her, though.

      So I was sort of helping her find her way. We were 3 hours away from home. It was a silver or light gray mini van.

      At one point, I thought she might have had the gun again. I had to double check that it was in my right hand pocket of my north face jacket. She had some stuff laid out on the floor. I think we had got to some sort of hotel.

      Then there was a thing about how even if she didn't kill or torture me, other people would still come after me. So, we had to make it look like she had succeeded somehow. Then, all of these ransom note type things appeared on the screen. Maybe I had lost lucidity at some point, but becoming lucid and getting the gun from her might have been all I needed to consciously do.

      She seemed to have dark hair. I think she was Italian. I think I almost asked her if she was Italian but didn't want to seem to be stereotyping her?

      There was a lot more stuff in these dreams but I guess I slept on it more as I was laying there trying to remember it. I had difficulty sleeping tonight, so I can accept that I was just too groggy. But still, it hurts to forget, because the parts were definitely cool.

      Oh, right, here is one part. Painfully vague, but I've got it. There was something about squatting over a squat toilet. My friend from High School Rich M was saying something. He was saying how it was hard to squat there for a while, so I said to eat some chicken while he does it. Then, he said that it would cause him to poop more from eating the chicken. But I thought, the chicken won't digest immediately and make new poop that has to go out until later.

      I think there was a part with a girl I liked from high school. All of this is now painfully vague and I am somewhat upset about the memory loss.

      I should have got myself up, but I didn't because I was still remembering details from the dream in my mind. I thought I should stay still to try to remember more of it, but then I guess as I was doing that, i fell asleep some number of times. That just means I was tired, and reasonably so. A lot of times, when I am not too tired, I think through the dream until i know I am done, then get right up to write it, without any risk of falling back to sleep.

      There might have been something with my sister and a bird, unless that was an earlier dream. It could have been both this dream and an earlier dream.

      Well, I will go back to bed now. i will try to see if I can recall any other parts.

      When I was at the high school there may have been something about the A V club.









      Round 4 of dreams.

      These were cool but again I am very dissappointed with my dream recall.

      So, there was something with my sister. We were in this room that had all white and dark brown stuff. It was like a bathroom or a mix of different rooms including a bathroom. There was something also mixed in about these people chanting some incantations around a ring to summon a fairy. The ring said Zelda on it. They were going to summon a fairy called Zelda, but I was thinking Zelda is a princess in the video game, but I didn't think she was a fairy. Anyway, it didn't have to be video game zelda. So then I saw two people, I think my sister on the right hand side, and myself on the left hand side, sitting on toilets in this white and brown room. I got the sense that my sister would be sucked through the toilet when the people summoned the fairy, but I was going to go with her. I was also eating something in the room. I had my multivitamins and chicklets. I was going to offer my sister some gum. I was afraid that it was too dirty of a room to eat in, because of there being a bathroom right near it.

      In an earlier dream, there was a guy saying how something most people think is non violent might not actually be non violent. I forgot what it was but it seemed so insightful. It was something I never would have thought of.

      Yeah, quite dissappointed with my dream recall tonight. I am pretty much always dissappointed with my dream recall right after the dream, because I am still aware of how much I forgot. Once I forget how much I forgot, and I am just left with the dream journal entries themselves, I don't have such bad feelings about it. Also, I think nights with better dream recall mean I am getting less deep sleep, so there will be a balancing effect where I get deeper sleep the other nights at the expense of dream recall.

      I woke up from these dreams laying there for a few solid minutes (it felt like) before any dream details came to mind. I remember I was eating something, but it was so much food that I would have to put on an m p 3 to distract me from how much I had to eat. Also, I felt like I was laying there thinking of the dreams at times, but when I woke up physically, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I dreamed that I was thinking of it. I don't know.

      Hopefully I can sleep one more time and have a dream I can actually remember well enough to be happy. But I will probably never be happy!



      Round 5 of dreams. .

      I slept again, and I know I had some dreams. My dreams over this last night were a lot harder to remember than usual, for whatever reason. I regret this but I guess it just means my body and mind needed some deeper and more restorative sleep. I kind of overdid it on some things lately and too much exhaustion seems to not be good for dream recall.

      The one part of the dream I remembered was I was hearing this song. Maybe there was something on a table. I remembered the words to the song at first, but then forgot them. There was this rubber ball swinging around on a string. Then I heard a loud "thud!" either from waking life or from the dream, like an auditory hallucination. The "thud!" woke me up in a startle and my memory of dreams was completely wiped out. It might have been a thud from outside. I tried to stay still and think about the dreams, but couldn't get any.





      Other Notes
      Here is some other writing about my dream recall frustrations I did:

      There may have also been some kind of creepy monsters in the earlier parts but that might have been something i was thinking about before I fell asleep. I was thinking about being nice to snakes I see when I am in the woods and how it would be cool to be able to befriend snakes even when most people would say it is dangerous, just by being very loving towards them on a deep level.


      Forgetting so much of a dream like this really kills me. I am totally exasperated over this, because I feel I am doing everything I possibly can to maximize my dream recall. I don't know if anyone else has this level of pain over forgetting parts of their dreams, but I do. I just want to remember what happened in my dream, but all i get is like 25 to 50 percent. And I am stuck with that, no matter how much I try to visualize it or focus on it. The memories just seem to be gone.

      Also I don't think I had any false awakenings.
    8. holy water daughter or don't throw the baby out with the bath water?

      by , 08-23-2016 at 06:04 PM
      Idk why my daughter is always, always about four or five in my dreams???

      Panic dream about making the water too hot.
      We are in a church, but of course! The pews are lined up to make avenues for the water, for a bath. There are of course great gaps but this doesn't matter as I turn on a gigantic tap which gushes loads of water. The whole church starts to fill up with water.
      I realise that the water is getting to hot and try to turn it off. It will not turn off at the facet.
      Running around everywhere to find how to turn off the tap, i am breathless. I run outside and down the street. Then back in a loop totally panicked through a overhead gallery in the church, where people are using laptops at desks. I jump down from on high this a thwunk onto one of the desks. The kiddo with glasses doesn't bat an eyelid and I land back down into the church.
      My daughter is not boiled, fortunately but I am so freaked in the dream that this cycles a few times.

      [comment]
      In most dreams where I am to worried I have zero lucidity hence I think I need to concentrate more on relaxing before sleepy time??

      Updated 08-23-2016 at 06:06 PM by 89275

      Tags: bath, child, church, water
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    9. 07.21.2016 Calamity

      by , 07-22-2016 at 03:12 PM
      Preface:
      Bed at 10pm to catch up on sleep! Unfortunately, exercise had me worn out last night. No echinacea or vitamins before bed; I was too tired and I forgot.

      DR 1
      I am at a university or school event of some sort. I am with a friend, her boyfriend, and a child. Most times, this child appears to be a boy.
      My friend and her boyfriend separate for some reason, and I am supposed to go with the boyfriend to get something or find something (papers from the school). I let him do his thing, because there is a small photography gallery showing that we (all of us, mainly the child) have been invited to. The child is very excited to see this, so we are rushing along to get to the room. When I get there, a man is handing out small booklets (prints of the show) for sale. The guy opens the book and its pictures of "cookies". All kinds of elaborately decorated Christmas gingerbread cookies. The one that I most remember is the one that appears to be strangled. Half of his head is coming off. Anyway, the child is so excited and wants to buy one of the books. He/she has given me his wallet, so its in my purse. I go into my purse to get the wallet and he tells me that the book is four dollars. I find four dollars in silver coins and I give it to him to pay for the book. The wallet is a long checkbook type wallet and has a rose pattern (black and pink). When I go to put the wallet back inside my purse. The child gets upset and says that its his/her wallet. At this time I cannot distinguish the sex of the child, because his/her face is so beautiful, dark brown curly hair (big ringlets), fair skin, rosy pursed lips and big brown eyes- a heart shaped face. He/she is so adorable. I say, "I have it right here! You gave it to me, remember? Do you want to hold it?" The child is okay with me holding it. We hang around a bit and then we leave.

      As we are leaving, I meet up with my friend's boyfriend again. We receive news that half the world has fallen into the sea. This is huge news, and it seems that the world is going to be over.

      Immediately, I become a third person, and I am looking down at the earth from the sky. In satellite view, I can see Spain and France flip over and fold into the water, as if someone has folded a piece of paper. The same happens to Africa. The rest of Europe, gets completely folded into Russia- and then everything goes under the water. I get freaked out and return to first person.

      People are crying and there is a lot of commotion. We are oddly calm and begin to make our way out to find the car. We find my friend. She looks kind of upset. I can feel its because her boyfriend and I have been hanging out and we had a good time. She is not happy that she left her boyfriend with me (?). She's not even upset about the earth.
      The university/school is huge! Its takes us awhile to get back to the car. I get into the driver's seat. Its a small sedan. The boyfriend gets into the front seat (?), and my friend and the child get into the back. Everything looks that dimly lit color again (golden brown sepia tones), only there are no torches or streetlights. I don't know where I am going but there is a lot of craziness about the earth on the radio. It seems that only the North American continent has survived.


      Side notes:

      Colors- Mostly the dimly lit orange/gold tones. This is a change from the normal white/grey color scheme.

      Child- This child appeared so handsome and beautiful at the same time. This is new for me in a dream; I can usually tell the sex of people in dreams, if not by appearance then by feeling.

      Coins- There were lots of quarters in my purse. In the dream, I had many of them in a plastic bag, which I took out to retrieve the coins. That is odd, but I do hate how change rumbles around and gets dirty in purses.

      Cookies- These cookies looked alot like the gingerbread cookies that my small nieces and I made last Christmas. They kept putting too much icing and making them look so different, so I started naming them.

      Earth-Probably the biggest calamity I have had in a dream lately. I didn't think I was capable of imagining that the world could just fold over into the sea. Interesting bit about Russia.
    10. Mundane Shorts: Friend and Family, Short Restaurant Dream, and Two Lion Cubs

      by , 06-23-2016 at 05:59 PM
      I was with a mutated-dream-version of friend and their family. In my dream, their oldest son, who was still a child, had recently passed away. They still had one other young son, and I was talking to him in a mall that we were all shopping in for a new bed for the little boy. He asked me if the bed was going to be for [dead son]. I felt sad and confused on how to answer this.

      I was working in a restaurant setting and a co-worker told me that I had forgotten to bring a mat over when I brought the flatware. I recalled seeing this blue mat (maybe something that you would lay dishes on to dry?) so I went back to the area I thought it was and grabbed it. I felt a sense of satisfaction because I suspected my co-worker wanted to get me into trouble.

      dream fragment- Two newborn lion cubs, maybe more. Not in a wild setting. Another human present and we were commenting on the cubs but I donít remember what we said.

      Thoughts:
      This friend of mine and family are in town right now and I probably wonít see them before they leave. The restaurant dream is a common theme for me. The co-worker in the dream was in waking life a girl I went to high school with that I havenít talked to in many many years. Finally not a dog-centric dream!
    11. Tried FILD

      by , 06-20-2016 at 04:52 PM
      Programmed myself to wake after every dream, which I did but I find it very much like coming up for air then plunging back under the murky waters, quite disorientating. So lots of chaining.
      Also I tried FILD a lot.

      D1 - Escaping from my father I travel across europe. I am being traced by a chip sticking out of my iphone.

      D2 - Staying in Ireland, in a farm house. Waking up early in a bedroom, with double windoes overlooking the farm courtyard. I am a child but do not want to go visiting the farmyard animals with the other children.

      D3 - I am a child again and I am unable to stop the bathroom tap running (a phobia of mine when I was younger). I am yelling for my My mum to sort it out.

      oooo I don't really remember having dreams where i'm a child before Oo, must be deeper.

      I had about four false awakenings LOL
    12. #246 - Fishing crocs / Lucid

      by , 05-27-2016 at 11:11 PM (The Oneironaut's Odyssey)
      Dream
      I remember being in a really low paying job by the shore. There's a lot of people around doing various jobs, but fishing is the more risky and better paying job. I'm not a fisherman, I'm doing some other job which isn't enough to feed my family (I have a wife and child somewhere in the background). While I'm on the beach I hear someone nearby shout out that they're looking for a new fisherman, I jump at this opportunity.. I really needed it. No matter what the risk is.

      I've joined the fishermen out in the water, I can't remember if I'm on the boat at first, but at some point I make a small catch and I'm quite pleased. I hop out into the water, it's close enough to the shore to be belly-deep. The fish we catch have a mechanical part to them it seems, and we sell these to make good money. But they're usually quite dangerous which is why the job is so high risk :/. I see off to my side about 2 metres away this huge red crocodile-like beast. It must be 3-4 metres long and covered in thick red spiky skin. Shit... I hope it doesn't notice me, I'm walking in pace with it as it wades towards the shore. It doesn't seem to be hostile, odd. I wade out of the way behind a boat I think, then when I come out on the other side I spot a HUGE hagfish. Its mouth opening and closing, displaying multiple rings of teeth descending into its gullet. I backtrack as it swims slowly past. It also seems oddly non-hostile... I head towards the shore, the red crocodile beast has swam off in the direction of the hagfish. I then see another huge crocodile beast, this one with grey-silvery skin and much bigger. It seems like a more ferocious and dangerous breed, it heads off towards the other beast. They creatures duke it out, I can't remember clearly what happened but they all died and I swam over to reap the materials from their corpses. I'm amazed that I got such a good haul for a one-off fisherman job .
      I'm back on the shore now, I've got a few small pieces of mechanical bearing-like things in my hand. I'm fiddling around with them while sitting down, trying to get comfortable on the slope. I keep sliding down, how did I used to do this? I put my foot on a wooden wall and stop sliding, I think this is how I used to do it?


      Lucid
      I JUST remembered that I had this, I can't remember a lot though. I realized I was in a dream and decided to stabilize, I remembered talking to my dream buddy about advancing my abilities with stabilization and wish I had finished reading the article he'd sent. I started by pressing my finger through the palm of my hand, it briefly stabilized but it wasn't enough. I then span on my axis a bit and felt the world begin slipping away. Aw shit. I willed the world to stay materialized which worked in my favor for a bit, but it still wasn't enough. I felt the world around me zoom in and out as I wrestled with stability, until eventually it faded and I awoke.

      I think this is my 60th lucid
    13. Competition night 9

      by , 04-19-2016 at 09:20 AM
      5.20
      Game, set and match
      I'm standing on ...... (it looks like a treadmill like you see in a gym). I'm looking in front of me because I have to watch something that is going on there, I'm playing some kind of game. ML is with me. He is standing very close behind me, wants my attention. I don't want to give him any because I have to focus on the game. He talks to me, flirts, puts his hands on my hips and tries to pull me close. I'm not interested but don't want to bluntly reject him. There is a little blond girl (between one and two years old) that I do want to give attention to. I smile at her and she smiles back and puts her arms out towards me. I pick her up and hug her. I love her so much, I feel the love flowing through me and it makes me so happy to hold her on my arm, see how she enjoys being with me. I won the game, and think: Game, set and match!
      Categories
      non-lucid
    14. Big Hints

      by , 04-07-2016 at 04:25 PM
      D1 - Large dark tarot cards are laying side by side,vertically. They transform into animated scenes, CGI . Then they become youtube channels.
      There are some very unseemly guys on a youtube channel, doing very unseemly things, totally fake.

      D2 - A dark boat boat is in very dark waters, the wood old and chared. In the boat is the body of a dead man, dressed in victorian clothes. The mans widdow, dressed in a dark grey cloak, is standing on a narrow wooden jetty, looking down over the man. She holds a large grail in her hand filled with dark cold water.
      She is protective of her dead husband, and says I am unworthy even though I am alive and he is dead. She is a woman of ill repute.

      D3 - I am making a large amount of outfits from stencils , pining them on manikins and laying out large rolls of red and white fabric, with writing on it.
      I am working out how much I can make and how much it will cost. I do not want to give these away as it will cost many thousands but feel it is my duty, begrudgingly I continue.

      D4 - My daughter is a toddler and it is her birthday in the dream. I am putting together some kind of animation from a game she likes, it becomes I am not sure what. I feel she will be disappointed but try to get things read. I display it on a large projector screen, infront of a table filled with party food.
      there is some time before her guest's arrive. I go out. I am on a track riding a small bike. I have no idea when the party will begin and after passing a small boy on a green tracktor that blocked my path, I turn back.
      I am physically unable to go back, no matter how I grag the bike. I then find I am also lost and desperation and dread fill me.
      Trying to get back I walk dragging the bike, past a sea front amusement, it is empty apart from some teenagers standing together on the rain strewn concrete floor. I try to sneak past them feeling very ashamed. They see me and jeer at me. I struggle on.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. Dredged up dream

      by , 11-05-2015 at 06:48 AM
      I don't remember any of my dreams last night, beyond waking up and reminding myself to remember what I'd just dreamed about.

      d'oh.

      However, while trying to remember at least a few fragments of it, I somehow dredged up an ancient dream from when I was like... 4 or 5 years old.

      I was in a store in the mall with my aunt S. It was a clothing store, think of like Ross's but a much older one... the name escapes me... the chain has mostly faded away. I don't think I've seen one in a long time.

      Anyway, I lost my aunt somehow. I'm wandering around through the aisles looking for her, when I see a yellow Mylar balloon with a smiley face on it floating in the middle of the aisle I'm looking down. A balloon is interesting, but I'm looking for my aunt. I continue looking down the aisles. When I turn around again, the balloon is behind me, a few feet away.

      As I go through the store looking for my aunt, every time I turn around or look down the aisle, the balloon is there. I start to feel like it's following me. It goes from interesting to weird to unsettling.

      I finally find my aunt and complain about the balloon. I can't really articulate what's going on or why it's upsetting me, though. Either way, she either doesn't believe me or doesn't care. Little kids say weird shit all the time, after all.

      I follow her out of the store and we meet up with my grandmother and my cousin outside in the main area of the mall. There is a giant yacht in the middle of the mall, just sitting there. It's huge. Not quite the size of an ocean liner, but definitely way too big to just be sitting there in a mall. I recall that the lighting in the mall was very dim, and the ground was very... kind of fake brown marbly. Very "generic mall". The yacht was very white.

      I wouldn't quite classify it as a nightmare, but I remember that it was an upsetting dream. At the time that I had it, I still didn't have a firm grasp on the idea that dreams are different from reality, so I spent a while believing that a balloon had really chased me around a store. I didn't like Mylar balloons for quite a while after that.
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