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Morning of October 6, 2017. Friday.



Something has happened to my physical form, but possibly only as I am “sleeping”.

I think of myself as a paragraph of writing, in the form of a hazy cloud of about four feet long, hovering a few inches above our bed. Being a paragraph incarnate makes me feel somewhat vulnerable. I am aware of Zsuzsanna sleeping om my left, but my viewpoint is curiously from somewhere in the center of our bed at times.

Other than being only a hazy cluster of “words” hovering a short distance above our bed, there is a perception of having an additional “shell” at times, or some sort of armor, but which comes and goes. There is no viable perception of having a physical body. I vaguely remember an affirmation (“I am of the healing powers of Universal Mind”) but I do not fully grasp or sustain it.

I turn in my “sleep”. It is like a twisting that “rolls” from “head” to “foot” when I do. It occurs about four times. I am aware that having transformed into the form of a paragraph relates to my illness (food poisoning). I only feel slightly ill in the dream state.

Before I am fully awake, I start to realize aspects of this abstract dream’s source. It is quite old and it has been years since this memory was more present. Years ago, in an animated version (shown on television a few times) of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court”, there was a scene where a boy informed the main character that he was a page. The Connecticut Yankee responded by saying something like “A page? You’re no more than a paragraph.” Additionally, having the “armor” around my cloudy form relates to the (King Arthur) knight association with the story. The perceived “suit of armor” is obviously a biological symbol of wishing to be protected from the norovirus. The rest, including “being a paragraph”, is incidental to this association with the Mark Twain story, which I had not thought about for a long time.

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Since early childhood, my non-lucid dreams, other than prescient or precognitive threads, have often resolved themselves in meaning in a form of light hypnopompic thinking (as well as reveal source patterns that created my dream in the first place), which is often carried directly into conscious afterthought (although this process is occasionally “replaced” by a false awakening where I am writing down my dream or talking about it with someone else). In a way, this has always been like having two dreams in succession, the original dream (often surreal or at least unusual and illogical) and the decoding of its meaning while waking or in a different (much lighter) level of unconsciousness. (It was not until I was about seventeen years old that I started to come to terms with the fact that most people were apparently not like this.)

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Jan 1, 2016

Vague. Hazy. I was in a bathroom. There's a lot of dirt. I think I was trying to take a dump.

"Anaken"? An event somewhere. It was a grass area. A familiar place but not sure where. Manila? We were looking for a jeep. It's night, so I'm worried I might get lost or end up in a bad place. I imagined a place along the road that's dark. There are trees on both sides. I decided to tag along with others. I think Amben and Sacha were there.

It's... dawn? Or late afternoon? We were walking near a plaza area. There are stuff for sale. Grey colors, dim, hazy.

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Notes:

- It was clearer when I woke up but I keep going back to bed to sleep some more.
- I slept around 11 p.m. Woke up at around 10 a.m., but I kept going back to sleep before that.
- Slept to Kelly McGonigal's default mode meditation.

The reason I'm talking about all of these together is because they're all short and not super noteworthy, lucidity is somewhat questionable in all but one.

First off, something that isn't a dream but happened.. I guess?

As I slipped off into sleep I heard my mother say "Goodnight." or something along that line.

Anyways, off to the actual dreams!

First off, I had a dream (which may or may not be lucid) where I was wondering outside my bed. It was a fragment but suprisingly vivid for what it is. There was some sort of video game interface, think as if you were using the interface for Populous minus the big minimap. I've never even played a game of that genre so i'm puzzled. Perhaps I was wandering outside a sleeping body (In which case it may have been an OBE) or I may have just had a dream that started in the bedroom. But this did prove to me dreams could be in the third person.

Secondly, I had a dream about a minecraft server. Someone with the nickname 'Surge' was on there. That's about it.

Probably most interesting, however, is the one lucid dream I had if that OBE-type thing wasn't lucid.

As so often happens, I was just in my house, and reality checks said I was awake, but the sky was yellow, which may be how I became lucid. Anyways, after this, I explored my house a bit. Dream control powers wouldn't work, and a sixth sense told me I had to leave, so I closed my eyes and left the dream. Also, we had a butler and a really old air conditioner that for some reason squirted water on the carpet.

I think I had two others I didn't remember after I woke up, I still don't care because at least I had a lucid dream.

The Induction
Now, I feel that this was not a directly induced lucid dream. Here's my method. I woke up to my alarm at 4:30, and then after my alarm goes off, I usually just go right back to sleep and try to stay aware long enough to do a finger induced lucid dream. those seem to work well for me. But I remember very lightly doing the FILD, and hardly even doing it. And then I felt myself snap into a dream but hardly really. I plugged my nose as a reality check and I could breathe.
This is where it changes.

The Rest..
I stand up and get out of my bed but think nothing of it. I walk through my house, very fatigued, and I felt very heavy. I got see everything very clearly. Everything appeared to be hyper realistic, which I generally associate with an OBE. I've never had one though, so I don't know what it's truly like. I walked slowly through my house due to my fatigue. My vision was blurry through one of my eyes, and it was mostly blurry from farther distances. I heard a drumming from my garage, which is weird because I don't have any drums or anything. I went to check it out, and it was my friend Javier. He just said what's up to me and that was the end of that. I started walking back through my house a bit, and then I heard my music playing from in my room. I tried to plug my nose, and see if I was still breathing, and woke to find I wasn't.

So now, I'm just wondering what this was, but I think it was more likely a LD. I didn't experience any rushing noises, or any vibrations usually accompanied with an OBE. Either way, if I didn't accomplish a dream goal, it was still pretty cool.

Dorm. Animals. People. Hazy. Forgot most. Travel. Going somewhere.

Okay. With the dreams I had two days ago, I was able to remember them so well all up until the afternoon. For some reason now, my dreams are a bit hazier so I'll actually write some dream notes down in the morning, right when I wake up.

I also seem to automatically wake up around 4:34AM every night. I love how the body and mind works together. It's like, my body knows I want to try out the WILD technique, so it wakes up so that I don't have to be alarmed in order to do it. (The alarm usually causes me to forget my dreams immediately)

I also realized that my first close to successful WILD was actually when I was sleeping on the couch for about an hour, woke up, went to the washroom, chatted with my mom, and then went to my bed to sleep.
Strangely, I wasn't even really trying to WILD at first, but the strange sensations reminded me that this would be a good time to try it. And I got so close!

I think I'll try having myself wake up every time I sleep for the first hour, and try the WILD at that time. Waking up in the middle of the night trying to WILD is a bit of a hassle anyway... Plus I'm sometimes scared of the dark in the middle of the night

I think it will be more successful the next time I try. Wish me luck!

Everything is hazy. But I sensed a feeling of being separated from someone. Kind of depressing. I then recall a building and a wall, and a helicopter. Not sure if I was able to ride it.

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Dreamsigns:

Hazy
Feeling of Separation
Helicopter
Depression
Wall climbing