Weather is finally decent. Maybe Jamie will start her drive bys again? I'll be watching. Jamie Jamie hands me a bagel and cream cheese. Actually, I remember getting that with her through a drive thru once. WTF Longer dream that I can't recall. Only part I remember is that me and my dad were watching something on a computer monitor. One of those curved ones. There were ghastly women who were naked... but they were half dead. They were showing really gross things on the screen. Vibe was: creepy, scary, disturbing. Not much else to report....
Early evening of August 19, 2017. Saturday. I am in an unknown residence but my dream self does not perceive it as unknown. My mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is present and appearing as she was in the early 1970s. It seems I am only a boy, perhaps around thirteen. Still, I am working with a computer (and of course I had no home computer at that age in the 1970s). A relative (Valerie) comes up near the left of the table as I am typing and says something I do not fully hear. She goes very close to the left side of the computer monitor. After a short time, I see that the headphone jack has pulled out and I have a false memory that it was a very sensitive (easily wrecked) setup. I tell her to go away as I then try to fix it. She yells at her father (David) that every time she listens to him, she gets into trouble. Apparently, she had been relaying something he had said. (The presence of these two characters is illogical, implying a completely different time period than the other characters). I become very frustrated as I am trying to work out how to get the jack and socket to work again. The original headphone jack is of the small size, with an adapter of a large jack size fitting over it before going into the socket on the left side of the computer monitor. (This is an unfamliar setup never used in reality.) A few times I think I have it as it should be to work, but pieces come apart and the wires do not touch. There is one point where the smaller jack is just a singular loose tiny cylinder. I notice a number of jacks and socket rings on the table. The ones I need to more conveniently push it all together do not seem to be present. I become so annoyed I say that I am about to throw the computer away and give up on everything (and not work with computers again). My mother looks on. Soon, I feel vivid touches on my left shoulder and top of my head, as if someone is trying to comfort me as I sit near the table. I look up and see a large chubby and unrealistically bizarre female face grinning at me. I recognize her as a former classmate (Laurie P) who I never talked to much, though she has darker hair in my dream. “Oh no, get away from me you horrid ugly…” I say clearly. I am not sure if I have even offended her. She slowly leaves the table without seeming upset. I consider that many other schoolmates may no longer be friendly towards me if they hear of my behavior, but I am not that concerned about it. (There is a vague thought of being unfriended by some of them on Facebook, but this makes no sense in light of the time period I perceive myself in.) I eventually seem to have most of the small parts together, but it may not work. Still, I put the jack back into the replaced socket. Bare wires are still everywhere. As I sit down, I sense movement to my left. I end up punching someone in the left cheek with my right fist. The sense of touch and momentum is very realistic. It turns out to be a young version of Sam M, another schoolmate. I immediately apologize, saying that I thought he was David (another schoolmate, not the David mentioned earlier). I mention how I thought he might have been drinking and Sam says that David is sitting in another area of the large room and had in fact been drinking. Sam seems to be doing something with my left arm, apparently some sort of medical attention, though I do not recall hurting it. (He seems an odd composite of child and man.) I tell Sam that I hope my punch does not leave a mark. That part of his face is only slightly red. Meanwhile, I notice that my computer monitor’s speakers are hissing but additionally, the normal audio seems to be coming out of both the headphones (on the table) and the computer speakers. (This is due to subliminal awareness of real sound, as our television is on in the next room.) Attempting to fix the jack and socket relate to subliminally trying to achieve consciousness by increasing neural activity while in the dream state. Sam’s attention to my left arm relates to the fact that it had a slight ache from having slept on it up to this point (which I am not aware of while still in my dream). It is the purpose of the preconscious to wake the dreamer or at least bring attention to the nature of the dream state in real time. Sometimes the preconscious is rendered as a snake to more quickly wake the dreamer with more emotion (such as when my arm has gone numb or is getting pins and needles, though was also a cobra biting my thumb in a dream when I was having pain in my thumb from surgery). There may be other factors, as the preconscious is not always personified as in this dream (Sam). The fact that I am in a dream in early evening likely explains why the preconscious is not as dominant in this case, as I had not entered a longer sleep cycle. (The first appearance as Laurie did not create enough emotion to rise from the dream state. Even my punching Sam in the face only initiated the augmentation of physical awareness to a greater extent and with additional perception of momentum, but it began the needed transition as he doctored my arm.)
Morning of July 23, 2015. Thursday. I am sitting at my computer desk as in real life though the room is mirrored longways (so that the open area of the room is to my left rather than to my right where the end of the desk is now against the opposite wall; however, the rest of the house, though I cannot see it, “feels” the same, as my oldest daughter’s room still, in in-dream “memory”, is to my left on the other side of the east wall). The room is mostly dark as I do not have a light on, and I assume it is nighttime. The more I type with my keyboard (though I cannot recall the nature of what I am writing, though I am fairly certain it involved in-dream affirmations), the brighter it gets, until it is just a “slab of white light” (originally though with a bluish glow). Even though I had not been looking at my fingers, I am somewhat annoyed as it eventually seems too smooth to tap keys correctly. Not only that, the computer monitor (the old large squarish type I still use that is about the length of my forearm) becomes black and blank and I cannot see what I am typing on the screen either. It almost reminds me of a large cloaked head (though not quite ominous). How do people cope with this nonsense? (This is what I am thinking for a time.)
Method: Wake back to Bed (WBTB) after about 6 hours of sleep. I did my usual wake routine with journaling dreams, mantras (spoken and written), and dream incubation using pictures - 45 minutes. I decided to meditate using a mixture body energy work and tactile visualization to bring myself to a state where I was consciously awake and body asleep. For the energy work I started off by bouncing energy in my body from the top of my head to my toes, and then from the top of my head to my fingertips, in synch with my breathing. I could feel a tingly sensation as the energy moved back and forth through my body. Then I started to project the energy outside my body in a clockwise direction, bouncing off the walls and moving to the next hour position with each energy bounce. I was feeling and visualizing the room wherever the energy bounced, and I was slowly building a mental image of the room. After about 15 minutes of this, I started to visualize picking up coins and dropping them (tactile visualization), and I continued this until I had a good image of this happening, and then I started to visualize climbing up an endless ladder. At least one hour had passed by this point in time. The hypnagogic imagery began to take over with little or no influence from me. My hands appeared as a transparent green color, but I could not feel them, and I was trying to pick up a glass of wine that was precariously balanced on a sand beach with waves washing over the base. I could clearly see the individual grains of sand washing around in the waves. A faint figure grabbed the glass of wine and took a drink, then he passed the glass to me, and I took a drink. I couldn’t feel the glass, or taste the wine. I placed the wine glass down in the sand, and the waves came and washed it away. Suddenly I was travelling through space! Stars were streaking past me in long lines (like Star Trek), and then I entered a dream in a perfectly lucid state. There was a grain truck parked under two grain chutes. Grain was pouring into the truck, and dust was blowing everywhere. I turned and looked at the man beside me, and then I returned to the void, where I was once again consciously awake with my body asleep. Without any warning whatsoever, I was in another lucid dream sitting at a desk. This was more vivid and clear than waking life. There was a massive 50 inch monitor in front of my playing what looked like a home movie with no sound. The desk was in the middle of a large rectangular room, with no other furniture present. There were two large digital clocks mounted along the top edge of the monitor, one more on the left, and a forth one on the right. The digital clocks were moving fast forward in time, and some were moving in backwards in time. One hour would happen in 2 or 3 seconds. To the right was a large rack of electronic equipment, and on the left was a computer. My hands were perfectly formed (exactly my hands) and they were resting on a keyboard. I then remembered my mantra to meet with my daughter, so I decided to head off and find her. I stood up and turned to the right, but I was feeling very weak, and I thought I was losing lucidity, so I focussed on my hands, but they were very clear and everything was vivid (I wasn’t losing lucidity), so I started to walk towards the door at the far end of the room, but I was quickly brought to an abrupt stop. Something was pulling on my head and left arm, so I turned around to see what it was. Totally to my surprise, my left arm had IV tubes coming out of it, and I was hooked up to a rectangular machine that was placed to the left of my chair! Wires were coming out of my head and they were also connected to the machine. I instantly felt faint and I fell to the floor, and the next thing I knew I was back in bed, consciously awake with my body asleep. I could hear electrostatic popping and fizzing noises and my body felt as if it was discharging energy. While in the void, I decided to try ‘the barrel roll visualization’ to get back into a lucid dream (I had done this once before). This is very similar to being in a Gravitron G Force ride. First, I started off visualizing I was spinning in bed in a lengthwise axis. Then once it felt like it was happening, I gradually moved into a barrel roll, and finally I began increasing the diameter of the barrel until it was about 100 feet across. It appeared as though I was in a large checkered cylinder. The cylinder vanished and shot off towards a horizon line. As I approached the horizon line I realized it was actually a mountain range, and that I was flying over the ocean. I was coming in so fast that I didn’t have time to swerve upwards and miss the mountains, and I flew right into them! Very unexpectedly, I barely slowed down, but I was jolted in a downward angle into the earth. I could still see! Glowing red sparks and wispy, black, ash smoke was floating everywhere, and I wanted to get out of the ground, back up in the air, so I angled upwards. Shortly thereafter I was shot out of the ground, and I was flying over a small town. There was a three storey tall, energy being lumbering down one of the streets, and he was taller than most of the buildings. Besides his enormous size, he was also glowing bright blue, and was semi-transparent. I didn’t like what I was seeing, so I flew away from him and I landed on a crowded street. I then began to call for my daughter to come and visit with me. Suddenly I began to lose lucidity, and all went black. I was lying in bed once again, in the void, consciously awake, with my body asleep. I tried to do ‘the barrel role visualization’ once again, but I fell asleep. This was a very cool lucid dream experience!
I can kind of remember two dreams from last night. Well, more like fragments. In the first, I was trying to help a girl hook up a Playstation to my laptop because she needed a monitor to play it on. The second dream involved me guessing at meanings of things in a language made of colours.
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