I'd like to make some notes on this but it's getting a bit late and long day tomorrow. 22nd March 2022 Fragment: Huge space battle. It feels like Freelancer but looks like EVE or just realistic. There's a Star Wars feel to the battle, overall. There are hundreds of different ship designs, both friendly and enemy, but it's mostly the friendlies that are very varied? Although it's in space, there's a large complex that dwarfs any ship and it has sloping structures with hard cornered/bevelled edges. Seems to be a case of holding position. Ships from our "side" keep going off in small waves and most of the time are just shot right as they exit the boundaries of the complex. But some of them are able to launch large numbers of crew assault modules toward enemy ships. Fragment: Something about dad and maybe a wooden ladder, that he carries or gives me? Think maybe dad is ill in some way? The location is dream generated. Maybe a flat of some kind, diffuse and warm daylight coming from a skylight above, giving the inside of the apartment a bright but very diffuse light mood. 26th March 2022 Fragment: At a place like old home, outside the little supermarket bit on that main street right outside the cul-de-sac. Except that the location is much higher up than it should be, like a plateau or mountain-top. Fairly clear weather, very thin clouds, consistent with an overall sunset context. Me and H are loading the van with other cars. Somehow, we can handle them by hand easily-ish and we put a VW estate of some kind in the back and maybe some other car. I comment on how we could almost fit three cars in the back of the van. Something about dad and his car maybe? Old water bottle to dispose of. In the dream, I have a memory of it being like ones we used to take on road trips. Then, something else with H and the van. Attaching some kind of trailer thing, a wooden cabinet kind of thing (Leslie cabinet type?). For some reason, H gets naked and gets inside it. We're indoors and somehow he's driving it away now. I help by holding the trailer up and such as we go down some stairs.
29th November 2021 Very abridged, many details weren't retained after waking; this was a brief lucid involving a false awakening and the lucid part felt continuous and lasting several minutes. Dream: I am out and about in a place like old home. Reminds me of 98 and I am with mom maybe, and a group of kids. It's some kind of school trip. (mom is here as a teacher?) I cross some foot bridge thing. It's sunny. I then go into a cafe or shop place, somewhat dark and unlit, except by the bounced light from outside. There are a few dream characters here, there's a counter of some kind on the left side and the place is deep-ish, being long and relatively narrow more than anything else. I start hearing my thoughts and they are very present. My thoughts tell me I'm dreaming and I confirm this in some way by interacting in some specific way with the people. For some reason, I still feel self-conscious, or like it's impolite to do anything right away, excusing myself and eventually going outside again. My memory in the dream feels decent and I perceive all the visual details vividly but physical sensations are faint. As I walk between two buildings, I start feeling some kind of arousal but successfully repress it. Instead of letting myself give in to an urge of making myself grow, I start trying to fly. Unable to fly, I am more leaping in large bounds of varying gravity each time. At some point I lose a bit of lucid awareness but I realise this and so I regain some clarity. Eventually I slip away into non-lucidness again and "wake up" falsely, into some other dream segment. Then I am in a sofa bed with S; she seems needlessly concerned, anxious. This looks like the room me and H have stayed in, when I've visited my parents; it feels like old home, anyway. Thinking I'm actually awake, I try to ignore her a bit and I take my phone out to write down my dream, starting on some detail. But I stop because I'm interrupted by H, who's prompting me to get up as he comes into the room. We discuss something about our day coming ahead. (recall gap?) Still in the same place, I am playing some game? Something about the original DOOM. Then I realise it's 3PM somehow, and wonder why or how it got so late, kind of in shock. But I don't dwell on it very long. (missed a perfect cue here) (recall gap) In some kind of ship, something about a fridge and some chemicals, including screenwash? Notes: - I mostly repressed the urge for growing because I always end up feeling like lucidity makes me want to do sexual things, which is fine, but at the same time I also want to focus on other things. Many times I've tried falling asleep with painting, or even art in general, in mind as a lucid objective just in case I ever do become lucid, since it's rare for me. - After I became lucid, I have some recall that after the two buildings there was a cityscape past a dip (river?) but also a sort of digital-looking existence, like in some old 2000s 3D cartoons. There was something bizarre and unusual about the background, anyway, as well as some other kind of foot bridge. - The manner in which I became lucid was unusual, not that I have a great deal of samples to compare with.
4th October 2020 8:45? Fragment: In one part of this dream I had gone to a computer like mine (but was it mine?) and in the dream's context I'd previously downloaded a comic of sorts, about a giant elf lady who allowed herself to be pleasured by an also rather large but sentient spider (i.e. of the same level of intelligence). The comic was incredibly detailed but it wasn't tending towards hyper-realism or anything; initially I was very apprehensive as I thought my arachnophobia might come back (because of the spider's details) but I ended up liking the comic and the high level of detail. The backgrounds seemed simple or mostly abstract, colour gradients? The comic apparently had 68 pages, but each page was effectively a single comic tile/strip and many of them only showed small or incremental changes from the previously shown scenes. The spider was a night blue or black colour? Orb weaver type. Before this, T and I had been talking? But after looking at the comic for a while, I became aware of T's presence by my left side at this desk I was apparently sat at. I felt embarrassed and didn't like the idea that he'd basically been watching me look at this comic, when I thought I was alone. But he made no comment about it and I didn't bring it up myself. I remember a beautiful pine forest before all of this. Distant and snowy mountains and a river close by. Think I was walking by its sandy bank. There was some surreal element to the area, like the area was an unnatural overhanging cliff? But I think the forest was part of what prompted the comic segment. Fragment: I was some woman for a short bit or playing a game as this woman? But things looked realistic and I remember no HUD. I was in a third-person mode and there was something about setting a record and using motorcycles to do so. A giant plasma orb and some controller for it. I remember going up a ramp in a city area. There was a very wide river? Reminds me of some cities in the USA. At the end of this dream segment I had taken something which was really important. Some sinister and some natural higher powers all wanted whatever this was. I remember someone mentioning Aether beings like those of Minecraft:Aether. They also said something about those beings supposedly being more deserving of this thing I'd taken. There was a feel of being like Frodo or Bilbo, having something as highly sought after as the one ring. 10-11:00? Fragment: In an altered version of my old home. I was trying to get to my computer in my bedroom. Emphasis on trying because interruptions kept happening. I felt some kind of compelling to look at that comic again. But this time I couldn't even get to the computer, T kept trying to talk to me or something. Then I lost him somehow and got in my room. I was about to shut the door but saw mom away in the distance; the house felt bigger and more... diagonal. But I hesitated; I tried turning on the light for my room but it wasn't working. I don't think it was night time, but it was dark in there. For some reason the hall's light was stopping my room's light from working, as I found that if that one went off, my room's light would work. But then T appeared again. (recall gap) Then, out in the night in my old town. There seems to be less street lighting than I'd expect. I'm at a car park near our home and walking towards a car, but can't recall the look of it. Something about getting in and then mom was there, wanting to teach me to drive. I get in the driver seat? But it's on the "wrong" side. Then dad turns up as I'm about to get going/started and I somehow am at the back of the car now, with dad having taken over. Then some third-person view sort of top-down, chasing the car while some kind of crazy manoeuvring is happening and the car is avoiding other cars using the road normally. Fragment: In the sky, kind of? Maybe this was in sequence of the old bedroom part, but I remember there are some very thin but incredibly solid platforms, nothing sways and I don't notice the absence of wind. I just remember seeing sky and clouds, even when looking downwards. It was sunny and I walked down some steps, at a quick pace? I had some sort of objective or goal. Fragment: In a back garden. A house that's mine and H's? There was a messy grassy garden, unkept. The grass looks yellowed or dry in parts and there are many tufts. There's a hole in the ground and on some level I remember that it could be a wasp nest like H had recently told me about and indeed some wasps do come out of the hole, but I run past and over the hole. Vague recall of the grass/ground being soft, like it's ankle deep. Fragment: Either H or T, stroking a cat (using the foot). I'm more at ground level, like the cat. Can't recall if it's black or white, but think white. But the cat gets up a little and hisses at him, but doesn't seem to care about me. Notes: - I don't remember looking through all the pages of the comic, but do remember seeing about 20 different strips, albeit many were only of small alterations conveying motion. I have some vague recall of text but I don't remember any text bubbles or anything. - Although I watched LOTR a long time ago, I did watch the Hobbit recently. -- The theme of a valuable object being sought-after by powerful entities has recently occurred in another dream. - Although mom did use to drive, by the time I was around she didn't drive anymore because of some experiences she had. -- Mom was a teacher for a lot of her life, so it seems somewhat fitting that she would try teaching me even if she hadn't driven at all, even once, since I've lived. - There were a lot of themes both about my family and about my old home in these dreams. -- I had a slight introspection not too much later after waking, about this. The interaction between my "self" and the voice from my last lucid has made me wonder about the metaphorical meanings, as I have always had issues with family interrupting things or generally being nosey about things I'd rather they weren't nosey about, but this is only compounded worse by the fact that I wasn't able to have "space to myself" in a sense, when I was much younger, many of my dreams during my youth seemingly often having an aspect of wanting to be separate from my family, at times; at least to be able to explore certain things by myself. -- The interruptions by T were something of a recurring theme during waking life, especially in regards to not talking about something that I may have felt was awkward or sordid. But in our childhoods we were very close.
7th September 2020 Dream: At a village of some kind, there's a crypt building? It's hidden away behind bushes and completely blocked in by trash and rubbish, the locals don't care about it anymore. I hesitate because of feeling like things will be dirty, but I start to lob some bin bags out of the way. I'm expecting I'll uncover a stone staircase down into the crypt but eventually I uncover a metal lid instead. I see an axe, it's been together with steel sections, it looks new. I pick it up and wedge it in between the lid and the floor and pry it open with some leverage. It works and I go in, down a ladder? Then I'm in some sort of ancient dilapidated engineering section. There are catwalks, everything's metal but nothing seems rusty or oxidised in any sense but I think the metals appear dull. The structure I'm on seems to be over an endless black pit. For some reason this doesn't bother me, it feels solid? Then I'm holding the axe in my left hand, my phone on my right, using its torch. I realise that if danger were to show up I'll be having a hard time swinging the axe this way, so I swap hands. I wander and go through several different sections of this area. Some zed-like clones start appearing. Using the axe, I swing aiming for their heads, my reach seems to exceed what it should be but I seem to be having trouble killing them. I don't remember what happened, but then I'm further into the compound. I find something in a different area which is more office-like. A magical artifact of some kind? It's why I was here, but what was it? Some golden dust bracers or something? There's a tiny bit of a Fallout feel to the whole place but I'm thinking now it also reminds me of Stanley's parable and the back-areas of Portal. At some point some back-up power comes on. (Transition or recall gap) At a mansion of some kind. It's connected secretly, I'm speaking to someone and some dream character is a dear friend of mine, apparently. Vague memory of Patrick Stewart or Captain Picard? But I am hesitant to share details about this artifact thing. But I tell him that it could be used to control all of humanity, despite the fact that it could also be used to usher some new era of technology that would be of great benefit to everyone. Visions of this. In the mansion place there is some kind of lift thing in an ornate square room, wooden panelling. The lift is cylindrical? Floor is made of glass, lots of teal/cyan light coming from below. (Chronology of the dream is messed up) I'm in Un'goro, I'm a hunter and kill a Horde hunter, level 68. Don't see my level but assume 60. Get him with an aimed shot. Some bit out in a street. There's a Toshiba drive-by? They fail but then I'm shooting arrows at them. (gap) Back at the secret bunker place. I remember lifts several times. One time, one of them leads to the surface, something about the artifact. I remember sea all around and then when I get the artifact out of a bag or something there's 59 notifications on a UI from admirals and 100+ from other individuals or nations. They all want the artifact. I did read through the messages from the admirals but it's basically all crap, demanding the artifact some more politely than others. (gap) Back at the bunker place. In an office room with lobby. I leave the room, and I'm outside but still within the premises of the compound. There's lots of wild vegetation and some wire fence delimiting the premises. H is with me now, he's doing something with an odd-looking metal door. I wait while he does this and look around. Then I see a mini-helicopter thing. It's right here next to us but they don't spot us right away, it's flying no more than a few feet off the ground and there's a military man riding on top of it, doing weird acrobatics involving the helicopter's blade. I tell H to look and we both greet the man casually. I was afraid he'd alert someone but he didn't. (transition) Then inside the helicopter, it's massive, impossibly big, but still low in terms of headroom. This military guy and the pilot are sitting on a cushioned bit and we're talking. They are about our age or younger, I think to myself how they don't seem very imposing even as military without their uniforms, as they are now in casual wear. I wake up at some point here. Notes: - This dream was incredibly long and many details are missing, including character interactions. The recall chronology was a bit off too somehow. - The themes in the dream seemed to mostly revolve around exploration and finding some kind of rare/valuable treasure, effectively.
I am hanging out with co-workers and getting to know somebody who’s apparently just been hired. Her name is Marie, and she’s from Canada. In addition to working here, she’s a grad student working on a music degree, which she's now almost done with. She's currently working on the composition that will be her thesis. She shows it to me – via some sort of electronic device, I think. The music is notated on manuscript paper, but instead of the usual note shapes, there are little horizontal rectangles that stretch out for as long as the note is held, rather like a midi display. The inside of each rectangle is patterned in ways that indicate something about the music. I hear it in my head as I read, with the patterns calling up images and connotations in relation to it. The first bar begins with two long Gs an octave apart played by instruments in the violin family – I don’t identify them explicitly in the dream, but given that it’s written in the bass clef, almost certainly cellos. The rectangles contain the patterns signifying darkness and light. The impression this makes is hard to describe. Poignant, maybe – a suggestion of a cavernous space vast enough to hold them both at once. It continues, but I can’t remember the part after that so well. 16.5.20
Dreams for the mornings of 26th, 27th and 31st of March. 26th and 27th enclosed in spoiler to reduce general length of the DJ entry. The last few days I have had decent dream recall from morning awakenings but I have felt too tired to make initial notes for them (28th,29th,30th). Sleep has been unusual for this past week, keep getting up too late despite several normal awakening times but might be starting to improve again. 26th: Spoiler for 26th content: Dream Fragment: One of the earliest dreams I remember, it was quite a vivid dream but I didn't make note of it until a later awakening so details were lost. Basically a giant/anthropomorphic sex scene of some sort? (Self-memo; see original note for a few more details) Dream: On a planet covered in cities but also wide ravines with lava at the bottom. The buildings weren't very tall (no more than twenty stories each) and some were on the edges of these lava ravines. I remember grappling between the buildings at high speed with some Oort grapples? It was like a game and another player saw me and followed me along with their own grapples, which annoyed me initially. From the building tops I could see a sunset to the right and a coastal area. Opposite to that, on the left, was more city but in smaller density and no lava ravines; it was also progressively darker/duskier the more I saw toward the left. I headed in that general direction with the grapples. Transition of some kind possibly. A mix of McGee and a high school friend. He was flying with a jet pack and I was flying with a massive and single jet engine that I had strapped on my back or something. But it was too heavy so I kept touching the ground instead of simply flying up/forward, which made the momentum sort of reset. We were flying or racing along some roads, there were trees either side of the roads and the trees made a sort of canopy over the road. I remember moonlight coming through the leaves. 27th: Spoiler for 27th content: Poor recall, woke up unable to focus. There were other dreams from 7AM onwards but I didn't recall enough details to go into any of them as I made my initial notes. Dream: This was the last dream, which took place in a town. It was a bit busy and I was with someone, possibly H. We'd just been at a detached/semi-detached house? and we were going to cross the street. I remember it was day time but possibly near the end of the day. A purple van driven by a woman was backing up and parking on the driveway to the right of the one from the house we'd just left. Her van was supposed to have some vynil stickers on the side (auto-intuitive dream knowledge) but for some reason it had an error message of some kind, which in the dream I briefly realised wasn't supposed to be the case. The street was quite wide, like six lanes wide, three going either way. The road was on a slope and the incline increased quickly after a certain point going down, around where it also cornered. We watched for traffic and crossed the street, then walking up the street on the other side. This side had no driveways whatsoever; it instead had a tall building, of which I only remember the wall, with no windows (understood it to be the side of the building). The wall was cream coloured, typical of my native area. At the top of the road, where it met a perpendicular road, forming a T junction, it looked extremely complicated and traffic along the perpendicular street was very busy. I remember we crossed to a little pavement island in the middle of the junction. For whatever reason, some people I knew from early years of school (8-10 years of age?) were there. I spoke to one of them about electrical power and I suggested putting a generator here. Then an interface overlay appeared and I could see "slots" on the pavement islands that could have had houses built there, so that was why I was suggesting the generator, instead of the houses apparently. In the interface I got the feel that the generator would be placed underground, beneath the road, should it come into existence. The dream ended soon after. 31st: I had some sort of pre-sleep half-dream. I was starting to "paint" with just my mind (telekinetically) and was having ideas for a new painting and what I might paint next in my art room. Dream: I was in Sweden. I was with one or both of my Swedish friends and we were in their metro system. The stations were tall and spacious, but what really caught my attention was the shapes of the architectural structure. A lot of long and abstract shapes (just the kind of thing I'd like to build with concrete) and all of the stations we went through were mostly concrete, which I think my friends disliked. I think I liked it despite the lack of colour just because of the shapes. The stations were very well lit and quite busy. I remember we went through one station on the train and there were small island platforms with crossings between them that went down on the rail level, which seemed to imply a high degree of self-responsibility from people. Another part of the dream or a different dream, I was trying to get to or from university? Dream Fragment: Something like the cities game I've played recently, but mixed with actually travelling through the city. I was trying to manage some sort of power dams, three of them to be exact, and they were using water from a mountain like a custom map I made in WL that had a dormant volcano lake. There were some flow issues eventually, especially because the water was getting completely drained by the dams and this disrupted where it wanted to flow; the water from the source started making its own way in opposite directions and this annoyed me. Dream Fragment: In some kind of office. I remember the typical fake ceiling and light fittings. It must have been afternoon; there was a nice and golden light coming in through blinds that covered the windows. The dream focus was on two characters. A stereotypical "madame" and her butler. She wanted to check if she had won some prize with this organisation which did travel tours as rewards? She was obviously naive with her direct interactions with people and the world. Someone representing the organisation felt a bit odd and sinister. Notes: - The pre-sleep state was interesting because it was like what I used to get as a child, just not as strong. It came on very subtly and on its own. - That state's content was a conscious decision, because I quickly understood that I was more creatively receptive at this stage compared to normal thought, just a shame I didn't interrupt it to make any notes about the painting ideas. - I was a bit disappointed to not have made notes about the sex dream right after it had happened. In the last few days during the first morning awakenings I have dreams with great recall and think to myself of short word descriptions for the dreams so that I can remember them even if I fall asleep but this technique hasn't worked very much so in conclusion I really need to just write down dreams as soon as I can if I'm likely to fall asleep again.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening At a department store. Going through different sections, checking clothes, then latest electronics and end up in the music and film area. Not looking for anything specific, but remember to take a look for Björk albums, since I don't buy cds for years. I find a cd which I didn't know, and check the inlay booklet. Looks nice, but I think it is one of those Björk albums which I don't particularly like and I wonder if I am willing to pay whatever it costs. But there is no price tag, so I need to go to the check-out with it. Then I have a FA and think I am in my bedroom. It is very dark, but once again I see this little purplish orb moving around the room. It is beautiful, but it also makes me feel uneasy. Since last time my teacher told me to swallow it, my first instinct was to do so again. So when it got near the bed, I opened my mouth widely and swallowed it. It went totally dark and then I woke up or entered a dream, I am not sure.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening I have a FA in Riverstone's room. It's dark and I can't find any lights, There is a flashlight but also does not work. I hear scary monster sounds. I go check what it is, I get lucid, but still feel a bit scared. I see a dark figure, think it is the monster, hit it with the flashlight. Light comes up and no monster, just kittens all over, even coming from inside the walls. Mom picks me up, there's a job opening for plant expert at some small company in our hometown. I need to fill an application. Some kids come by. One steals some documents that were on the table. Me and some others enter the Matrix with Neo. I think we formed some kind of army to free others. Entering the matrix was fun and psychedelic, like riding a roller coaster while swallowing matrix code. Once inside, we have really cool looks, but not all black like in the movies. We are wearing mostly shades of blue. I have a dress with a balloon skirt, but a bit too short and later I find some fabrics to use as an extra skirt and feel more comfortable. When we enter we find ourselves on some kind of crosswalk on top of buildings, like a suspended terrace and there is a sort of giant wave wall to our right that looks like a tsunami coming to hit us but that never does. It is mesmerizing. Then we go to some kind of school to train us and it was very posh, looks like an opera house. Even the bathrooms are so very fancy and vintage-y. There are some true geniuses among us. One black kid, seems as young as six, presents us with a music piece he had composed and although it wasn't entirely original and innovative, it was incredible anyway. I could recognize influences of Vangelis, the Blade Runner OST and some other electronic artist. Nobody else thought so, but the kid confirmed. I told him, it is so very well composed, but because it doesn't sound original, it is not amazing. "You have to find your own sound and then you will blow our minds". I wanted to be honest but still encourage him. He felt both pleased and ego hurt, which is normal. Some people don't like me much, maybe because I am some teacher's favorite and it always feels awkward when I enter a class late and the teacher acknowledged my presence instead of letting me quietly sit like with everyone else. Even when they seemed to be reprimanding me, everybody could feel they were actually happy to see me. Last day of school and we're packing clothes to go home. My dog Bernardo appears out of nowhere and he has one eye out gouged and I freak out. Then he starts making weird electronic sounds and I see his eye is bionic. I find a way to open up the side of his head and fix the wires to put back is eye in place.
Non-dream stuff: A very long non-lucid dream. I only remember one part of it, that I held on to loosely as I was quickly forgetting everything, deciding this was the most important part to remember. Dream sequence: I was in my native country, in the dream context it had been explained why I think but I can't remember it. I was in a small town and it was day, looking to soon be sunset, as everything looked a bit orange. This was just a typical town and I was wandering around and there was an old brown-stone church, with one of its doors wide open. I walked in, and I remember I was looking at the floor just before doing so and seeing a roach type bug, but small. In the dream context there was something about going to visit local landmarks. When I entered it wasn't like a church at all, but a community centre of some kind. It was deserted. All the lights were on, but there were many many webs... and spiders, weird ones, some almost as big as my hand. I was very wary, but something compelled me to continue and I kept my instinctive fear in check, wondering why I was fearing them, they were just stood there on their webs, undisturbed for years, clearly. I wandered through the first two rooms, and the second room was at the "back" and had large modern glass windows that were letting the sunset light in. Everything had that orange light bath, as expected. I used my boot to clear away some webs I just couldn't avoid if I wanted to move further. After having a look around in this room, where there had been some displays of some kind, I turn back a bit and again have to carefully remove some webs from the way, feeling extremely wary of the spiders on it. I remember being in a room or common hall that connected other rooms and there was a bag of some kind on a swivel office chair. On topof the bag was a black leather wallet. Everything was absolutely covered in webs and I looked at the wallet with the intent of seeing what was inside and taking it, but I saw a slightly open door and could sense something. It was a very small room, a cupboard of some kind, and I couldn't fully open the door in, because of an object inside. The light inside the tiny room was also on, oddly. I reached with my left arm into the room and felt something stony and as I touched it, I saw the wallet and bag disappear and heard a female voice saying "You have resisted temptation. You are blessed with protection." I could "see" an interface icon showing a "buff" as in a game, but the context of the dream felt all too real. I remember exploring a little more but there were some areas that didn't have lights on and were getting on for darkness. It is implied in the dream that I went into these areas, as next I remember being at a doorway in the same building and walking into my the room my mom uses as an office at home in waking life, except the view through the windows was part of the dream context. I found it odd to find this room, but didn't question it much. I looked at her computer screen. It was on, something about this feels emotional though I have no idea now what was on the screen, other than the fact that on some timestamp it said the date was "2013". It was 2018, I knew this in the dream context. I took a photograph with my phone of the screen, and I thought something but I can't remember what. I seem to remember that at some point before this in the dream I'd found something else pertaining to my mom, from the past also. Even in the dream I couldn't help but wonder, are these things I'm finding related to her mental health? I know I went out of that room but I cannot remember more details, even though the dream sequence didn't end there. Some notes (spread out because they'd be too dense to read otherwise): The sunset is a dream-sign. I hadn't realised this before. It is distinctly different from all other times of day, and in my dreams it always represents "the end" (of time, in some way). Even in the dream I thought everything in that light looked beautiful. As I saw all those spiders, I was about to react instinctively and let out some reaction of fear, but the fact that in the dream I had strongly intended to go into this building and that I somehow felt compelled to go further in, made me remember my practice of trying to keep my fear in check. This is the first time in a dream that I have truly suppressed such a basic and intense fear, as far "consciously" as my dream mind would allow. Keep in context that I have been an arachnophobe almost all of my life until very recently, and that in dreams basic fears and instincts are much, much stronger in my behaviour. In the dream context I remember being told by someone to look at the local points of interest and landmarks because I could be interested in them and because they needed people to do some tourism around here. That's the context I had for the "church". The bag/purse under the wallet was magenta. The office chair was a deep blue, I think. All I can remember seeing on that computer screen was a few different windows open, and maybe an image as one of the windows, which is what had the timestamp. In my dream, I knew that my mom had not been in this office for a long time. It looked just as the rest of the community centre. I do not know why even out of the dream now I feel some strong emotion thinking about the date and the screen. As far as I remember, 2013 was no different for my mom, if anything, her mental health has improved greatly since then. But considering it now, it was also when I moved to where I live now, away from my native country. At some point in the dream I understood the sunset feeling like "end", though I'm still not certain what about. The community centre (which was actually the church, after all) corridors and rooms looked, actually, much more like a very stereotypical office building and some doctors offices I've been to. As for the context of my mom's mental health, she suffers from bipolar or something the like, but has it very well controlled by medication these days.
Updated 08-13-2020 at 01:23 AM by 95293 (Butchered the list a bit to make it more readable instead of it being all condensed.)
Morning of June 18, 2018. Monday. Subliminal awareness of the autosymbolic nature of the waking process begins. My unconscious mind is personified as an unknown female despite the fact my non-lucid dream self does not possess viable access to my unconscious mind at this level of REM sleep. Errors and distortions abound. She is a subliminal thread of my wife Zsuzsanna, of which my non-lucid dream self does not yet possess viable memory of or contact with my current conscious self identity. She has a daughter who literally but subliminally represents our oldest daughter at a younger age. I am sitting on the floor in a unique erroneous version of the King Street mansion. The house is mirror imaged to its real-life layout, flipped east to west. I am in the downstairs antechamber while the female mostly remains in the living room on the other side of the doorway. She seems annoyed in building a small structure on the floor in about the middle of the living room, mainly from a set of small blocks of different solid colors, mostly blue, yellow, red, and green. They are about the size of baby blocks, but with a feature on all six sides that is like the knobs of a Lego brick, though there are four knobs on each side of each cube in a two by two pattern. A couple times, as the blocks do not fit into each other, stacks of about seven high topple over. There is a row of about eight stacks at various heights. (This is autosymbolism for failure to initiate viable conscious awareness.) I am puzzled and somewhat annoyed, though not angry, in trying to rebuild the staircase that goes to the second floor (where I had lived in real life though not been since 1990), which supposedly is to be the real staircase. This is an extreme failure of thinking skills as I am solely working with small triangular pieces of wood. The pieces are only about two inches thick. The two stacks I had made this far are only about six inches high in two rows of about eight pieces each. I cannot seem to arrange the pieces in the correct orientation regarding which edge should face upward. I have several together, but they do not display the form of a set of steps. This indicates that my subconscious self is having difficulty in reaching my conscious self identity during the waking process. Subliminal anticipation of the waking process continues but increases. This is after the subliminal recognition of a staircase being autosymbolism for the waking process despite its miniaturization in a setting that represents the liminal space of the process, the antechamber (what my landlady called a “vestibule” in real life). Vestibular system correlation personifies, which causes my dream to jump to a new setting, though in the same King Street mansion, still mirrored east to west. I find myself on the second floor. I develop an ambiguous awareness where I start to become partly aware of my married status and erroneously perceive the house, though vaguely, as the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane (where we have not lived in years), though that was only a one-storey house and was nothing like the King Street house. Vestibular system correlation personifies as Glenn, one of our landlords from Stadcor Street. He has never lived in America, but my dream self does not consider this error. I have a vague awareness he is married to my landlady (only vaguely recalled as Zsuzsanna at this point, but this does not trigger the realization of my erroneous associations) even though in reality he had a male partner. A vague thread of dream state awareness is present at this point, though no threads of viable lucidity. Because of vestibular system correlation personifying as Glenn, who seems very cheerful, I walk through the doorway of the upstairs kitchen, which opens to the porch’s roof. This is from vague recall that a porch can be used to vivify a dream, as it is autosymbolic of a specific level of dream state consciousness of which I had used many times in the past, since early childhood, to vivify my dream or “step into” a more vivid offset dream. This process developed from walking outside by way of the porch’s doorway. Here though, I am somewhat puzzled from being on the roof of the porch, as there is no additional doorway to intensify my dream or trigger viable lucidity (as the option to jump off the roof to fly does not occur to me). Glenn looks up at me from the public sidewalk in front of the house. “You’ll have to use the catwalk,” he says happily. I get the impression he had used the so-called catwalk and jumped to the ground from the outer edge of the roof. I study the roof and see a precarious narrow section of wood that is separate from the rest of the roof, which puzzles me. I stand on it, but consider that I cannot get to the rest of the roof (which has some building materials and tools sitting about) even though all I would have to do is step onto it from this supposed catwalk. Even after fifty years, my dream self fails to remember the dream sign of a cat being a “witness” to liminal space and typically near doorways (for the purpose of inducing lucidity in some cases), though the association had been distorted into the word “catwalk” in this case. (No cat is present and my dream self does not think about cats even upon hearing “cat” as part of “catwalk”.) The association with a “cat always landing on its feet” is not present (regarding the vestibular system dynamics of the waking process, which is often a falling sensation, based solely on biology, not “meaning” as “interpreters” falsely propagate). My dream shifts into a different scenario as a result of considering the nature of the King Street roof (still erroneously associated with the Stadcor Street house) and subliminal anticipation of the falling sensation of the waking process, which does not occur as a result of this shift. Now it is a typical non-lucidly forced “haunting” scenario. I am downstairs again, but this time the setting is an ambiguous composite of the Stadcor Street house and the Cubitis house. I am now more aware of Zsuzsanna as my wife, though it is still not a complete recognition. She still seems to serve the role as landlady. “How long has…it…been in this house?” I ask her this dramatically, speaking of the haunting, which is mainly nonthreatening. We talk briefly, but I become distracted. I find myself in a dark room with an unknown female. There is talk about ghosts and seeing physical evidence of ghosts in this house. I tell her, “This is the only house I have ever lived in where there is the physical presence of ghosts.” On one level, I know ghosts are not real, but on another level, I have achieved non-lucid dream control and revivification at this point to entertain myself. The old writing desk that Zsuzsanna used to have is present, which results in an increase of thinking skills correlation. Near the opposite side of the desk from where the unknown female is standing, another female slowly appears. It is a ghost. “Can you see her?” I ask the female. She tells me that she cannot see anyone there. The ghost is a realistic version, as a “real” human, of Velma Dinkley (of the Scooby-Doo franchise), though about twelve years of age. She seems puzzled and very shy and uncertain. “Who are you?” I ask her. “I’m a goddess,” she whispers. I am puzzled and ask her again about five times. Each time, she softly says, “I’m a goddess”. I want to help her come to terms with her death. (This is a vague influence of “Show Yourself” from 2016, seen just prior to sleep, where I expected Travis to hug the ghost of Paul near the end, though he did not). I hug her, place my right hand on the small of her back, and move it up to the middle of her back. As a result, the palm of my hand begins to glow with white light, rays shining into other areas of the room. (I do not recall the association with Zsuzsanna having been born on September 13, though this was exactly one year before “Scooby-Doo” first aired, therefore Velma in this case is a subliminal representation of Zsuzsanna.) The palm of my right hand continues to glow as I find myself walking south through the Cubitis hallway. I stand in the doorway of the Cubitis southwest bedroom looking into the semidarkness. Several unfamiliar people, both men and women, are sitting on couches that are against the west and north walls. (This is an erroneous setup, as the north wall held the sliding doors of a large closet in reality.) I hold up my right hand and the light spreads into the room somewhat. The others are puzzled. I step through the doorway and wake. (This is a vague association with a security system reading a handprint to allow entry, or, in this case, to exit the dream state.) With this entry, I have attempted to explain the dreaming and waking process as best I could for this dream. (This is difficult in a society where most people have no viable understanding of dreams, many still believing in “interpretation” and “symbolism” in the popular sense, neither of which is real.) The bedroom is a literal thread of final recognition that I am dreaming, and so I choose to wake. The light represents attaining consciousness as a willingness to accept daybreak and intelligence of which only the conscious self possesses in waking life.
Date of Dream: MON 8 MAY - 2017 Dream No. 109 - The Great Case My mum was talking to me somewhere but I don't know where it was exactly. I was going somewhere and so she said to me to take the lift to the bottom floor of Reading Cinemas in Waverley Gardens Shopping Centre and meet her there. I was then in the carpark of shopping centre talking to three random boys but I forgot what the conversation was about. I then told them I had to go and meet my mum. They followed me but left when Reading Cinemas was in my sight. I thought the entrance to Reading Cinemas was on the top floor, so I went up the stairs nearby but when I was about ¾ way up, I noticed that there was in fact an entrance on the bottom floor and so I think to myself, “Yay! I don't have to take the lift!” and turn back. When I enter, I enter into this room that looks sort of like the inside of the church and my mum is standing to one side. In the background was all this really bright light, almost as if you were looking into the sun. I walked through this white light with four companions resembling characters from video games, the only companion I remember is Super Mario. We are then outside somewhere and we see this vehicle which is halfway between a ute and a roofless car. Inside is a strange old man who I thought at first had no business. But then from inside the vehicle, this news story was playing that there was some sort of suspect and the person who could find him would be rewarded $250,000. I spoke to this old man and actually discovered that he was the suspect. I then woke up.
I was taking a walk in the night, it was very dark but the street lights kept my way light for the most part. After a while I found myself in front of a dark path with no lights, it was long and pitch black, you couldn't see anything but there were some people around and I did what all of them were doing, taking my phone out and use it to light my way and keep walking. There were some other people walking through there too, but I just walked pass them. Right in the middle of this dark path, there was this woman walking while holding a little kid/baby in her arms with a bunch of other kids around her, there wasn't anyone holding a light for her and she just used the light of the people passing by to guide her steps. I decided to slow my pace and light her way for the rest of the darkness. I remember exchanging a couple of words with her while walking but I don't remember which ones exactly. When we finally came out of the dark path I decided just to put my phone back and keep walking, but she called me and told me to wait, she had left the kid/baby behind with the other kids and started walking at alongside me, I remember saying something like "so it wasn't yours?", she just smiled and replied "no, it wasn't." All that I remember about her looks is that her lips were scarlet-red tempting, clean white teeth with a perfect smile. Her skin had a goldish tone to it. She was wearing black pants with a black blouse and a small red cardigan on top of all of it. Her hair was also black but I don't remember how she had it fixed. When she approached me, she asked "where are we walking tonight?" I just answered "Nowhere, I sometimes just walk until I get tired and then go back." then she smiled and said "we are going nowhere tonight then" I didn't ask where she was going but I remember having some other conversations but don't remember the topics in specific. I remember walking through a campus/university environment with her (which was really active for what I assume was the middle of the night) and just entered random classrooms in our way, bothering the attendants and professors alike and then just leaving just to pick another class to disrupt. Last thing I remember is entering to this packed classroom and walking between people excusing ourselves (like trying to get to your sit in the middle of a theater in a full night), she entered first and managed to somehow get a sit in the first row, I was just walking between rows until I got near to her. Sitting next to her was this middle aged guy that seemed to be giving a lecture in japanese and said something about what we were doing being disrespectful, I just said 'sumimasen' (lol), I left the classroom, walked a couple of steps and looked behind, but she hadn't come out yet. Just when I was about to turn my back and keep walking she leaves the classroom with a big smile, and ask me to wait for her and we just keep walking through the night..
I was lying down in my bed, descending deeper and deeper into concentration, then meditation. I observed various snippets of dreams and dismissing them - I was not planning to try shared dream tonight. No, my target was OBE. I felt that my other body is restless, pushing away from boundaries of physical body... Yet I descended deeper, allowing myself to find how deep in meditation I can go down without loosing myself in it. I saw white and black flashes... I heard mumbling and growling from time to time... I lost feeling of my physical body... then I heard sound as if very high note was played and it ended with something like BZUIIING! and what was left was roaring silence. Everything stopped, no flashes, no sound... nothing left. After some time I allowed myself to float my other body out of physical one smoothly, without feeling of any restraint. I was above my physical body in my bedroom. It was dark night. I saw things shining in red light. I floated slowly around without the feeling of any gravity, there was no up or down for me. Nothing was out of ordinary... but nothing was touchable. I floated slowly through the wall of my house into night... the surrounding faded away into darkness. I felt very relaxed and in peace. I experimented how far can I go without loosing consciousness. From darkness some angelic looking beings glowing in bluish light became visible... and I only observed. There was temptation to come after them... and I didn't care the temptation. Those angelic looking beings slowly morphed into demonic ones, glowing in red light. Yet I didn't care. I only observed them. I felt a malicious intent from them. I felt that I should fear. I wondered what is a fear, how to feel it. I wondered whether I should try to preach. Yet, I was able to do none of that. I floated and observed them to attack and dissipate as they touched my nonphysical body. I was alone, again. The body became nonexistent and slowly coalesced into bluish ball of light. I shined in the darkness softly and observed my surroundings. Surrounding of nothingness. My consciousness dissolved after some time afterwards.
Updated 03-29-2017 at 10:11 AM by 66278
I dream I was taking a spiritual class and was lined up in a room with a load of other people. The whole place was all white tiles and glass. There was the light from the water thrown onto the walls, illuminated. The teacher was a lady in a long brown dress with hair pulled back. Our first class we would have submerge ourselves beneath the water. I was determined to do well.
I woke up in my room. It was completely dark all around. I left it and thought that this may be a dream. I made a nose plug RC and it succeeded. I was lucid. I thought "Lights on" and light turned on in most of rooms, however some of them remained dark. I recalled a ToTM basic task about igniting a house. I went to my kitchen and flied into a window, phasing outisde through the glass. It was early morning, still dark. I flied towards neighbor's house, trying to set it on fire mid-air with a gesture, but it didn't worked. I landed on the road and started rubbing my hands while focusing on some potted flowers. They instantly set ablaze. With more rubbing and focusing I set some trees around the house on fire and watched as it spread on the house. Then I moved along the road, trying to fly again but for some reason I couldn't do it. I recalled an advanced task with car lifting. There was another house with a garage. I phased through fence and it's walls and found an old Fiat 126p car. I lifted it up and phased back to the road. Then I placed it one the road and entered it, turned the engine on and drove. I drove along a completely ruined road with huge holes in it. I lost lucidity. I drove to my school, entered a classroom and sat by a table. Again I thought that this might be a dream and made the RC. I became lucid again. Teacher - a redhead woman in late forties asked me "What makes you think this might be unreal?" I didn't responded, instead I tried to phase out through the wall. I doubted that I might be able to do that and failed, then lost lucidity again. I found myself back in my home village. There was some big ceremony coming. I was wearing a black suit. I left my old school and moved to a bus stop. There was a huge bus, my friend went out of it and I greeted him.
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