Recent DJ Posts

I am going to some event of Denisse’s - a birthday party for Demyan? The invitation says it starts between 2 and 4. I’m going to be there closer to 4 or 5. The place is in a pretty desolate area with dirt roads. I ride a dirt bike? to the house, taking a curve in the dirt road that only cuts off a corner. At one point, I am alone in a garage of a house that seems fairly large and nice. There is a punching bag that I unload a few punches on. The punches are not as strong as I would like them to be.



I wake up in a bed with Melissa. We begin taking each other’s clothes off and having sex. She now starts to go down on me, but I am wearing a condom. She recoils from the taste. I would take it off, but the taste would remain. I’m not exactly sure what to do.

On this night I had a much higher dream recall and lucidity compared to the nights before. I think part of that was that I practiced waking life recall again. I had been playing back to back pokemon battles or DB Super episodes but I changed it. Instead of going back to back with those, I journaled about each one afterward, kind of like recalling a dream.

(zzz)

Round 1 of Dreams.

I remember something about a computer lab, and some people trying to contact outer space. Then, I was looking at a television. On the television, there was a row of pictures of cymbals. The sounds from them were used to communicate to outer space.

Then I was looking at shelves. There were bottles of juice. The bottles had kind of a swirly design around the outside. Almost like a winding ramp.

Someone said that J A wanted to ask me something. I went to pour myself a cup of the juice. I don't think she wanted any. The juice was a dark orange color, like mango.

J A wanted to ask me what I thought about having a baby. She asked me if I wanted to have one. It wasn't clear if she meant, have a baby with her, or if she was just asking in general, like some kind of survey. Either way, I was like, "Yeah! I think having a baby would be cool." But of course there's a lot to think about before having a baby.

I had been leaning back on my chair the whole conversation, without realizing it. Someone to my right said not to lean back on my chair. 'Have I been leaning back on my chair this whole time?' I thought. I tried to make sure all 4 chair legs were on the ground.

I recalled those and then went to sleep, still re-remembering most of it later... There were one or two earlier parts I didn't re-remember though.

(zzz)

Round 2 of Dreams.

There were definitely earlier parts that I couldn't "reach".

I remember being in front of a mirror, in a bathroom. Ms. M and J C were behind me, talking to me.

Ms. M left, but a younger kid arrived, around age 14. He told J C that I liked her! I think she said something about not liking me in that way or something... Or maybe I just expected her to reject me. So before it made anything awkward, I told the kid, "Yeah, I like her!" But explained I liked her as a family friend, and mentioned our camping trips, and so on. I think that eased some of the awkwardness that I felt.

I told the child that if he kept practicing his speaking skills, he'd be very good at it by the time he was 20. He rode his bike away.

I remember seeing Ms. G (English teacher) sitting at a little desk. Then I went down a set of long yellow stairs. Each step was longer than my foot. I considered going down them backwards but just went down forwards, feeling light.

Then I was in a Pokemon battle. My Pokemon had 2 steel type attack moves. One had 75 accuracy and one had 85. I was caught trying to decide which to use. I think I chose the 75% accuracy one because both were kind of risky anyway. It had some kind of silver umbrella thing appear on the opponent's side of the field.

Then I was out of electricity. I needed electricity from outside the game to use to move inside the game. There was a wire with something I could charge up, right behind me. I went to get the current flowing, but realized the wire was directly touching my leg! I quickly jumped away, cursing. The wire lit up bright blue.

At one end of the room, there were 3 people on a couch. The guy on my left had on a white shirt. He drew a black line with marker on his left side pocket. He said something like, "Please don't curse like that." But something about his tone really triggered me. It was probably because he failed to acknowledge/sympathize with my panic and fear, and instead found fault with my word selection. I started to curse him out pretty intensely.

There was someone sitting in the middle. Maybe a smaller woman. I am not sure I even noticed the details of the person.

The guy on the other side of the couch, to my right, was wearing a grey shirt. He coldly told me that I was being "sinful". This brought up even more rage... The exact reason I HATE religion. Because they failed to notice my actual state (fear/panic) and just judged the behavior as wrong. So it is very abandoning.

I started cursing that guy out and telling him his religion was stupid. He was physically bigger than me, and decided he would physically assault me! So I tried to flee. I realized that the police would probably take his side, too, which sucked... At one point, he had me pinned down. "[name of diety] wants me to punish you!" He said something idiotic like that. I could see he had sharp teeth when he bared them.

I somehow got out of that pinning and ran away. I saw myself from outside. I looked like Littlefoot from Land Before Time. He caught me in a net thing, like the collars they use in Animal Control. He had me walk ahead of him.

We passed through a swampy graveyard place. With lots of grave stones but a few inches deep of water. Wading through there, I got a little ahead of him. I snuck off to the side to hide behind a grave stone, and he walked right by, thinking I continued on straight. He had morphed into a white ghosty kind of shape character.

Eventually, he turned around, and started coming towards my hiding place. This dream was pretty scary. Not quite nightmare level but it reached around 70% nightmare level.

I remember it transitioned into another Pokemon Battle. I had a move that only did 10% of their HP each time. I used it for a few turns. Suddenly, it did 25% of their HP, without even getting a critical hit. I wasn't sure why, but one more would have the K O.

I remember thinking that I don't want to curse out people like that if possible, since they might want to beat me up. But I don't like having to... Filter the way I express my emotions. Anyway, I just remember being in the woods. And leaning my stationary bike on the wheels. I was going to push it up some stairs. Then I woke up.

I recalled those and went back to sleep. I just made sure to re-play them in my mind enough to form a solid memory. I still re-remembered it all by morning.

I also took my 100mcg Huperzine-A and 300mg Alpha-GPC Choline at this time...

(zzz)

Round 3 and 4 of Dreams..

I remember being in my Nana's room. I was on a lounge chair near her dresser. I had the land line on the floor to one side. She almost stepped on it. "Don't step on the land line!" I yelled. I moved it to the other side. My sister was there too.

I went home to get some protein. It was morning, but it was dark out, still. My dad had just got home at the same time. I called out to greet him.

I remember being in my room at 15. Someone was sharing about religion on a phone meeting. (I heard a share about religion yesterday, involving false loyalty to a dysfunctional church, that seriously pissed me off, so that's probably why i dreamed of it so much. Recovering from religion is a big deal to me.)

After the meeting, on the fellowship line, I was telling the guy that his comment was stupid. And that his religion is stupid... He kept hearing what I said then taking a moment before replying. Whenever he spoke again, I tried to shut him down again. I remember looking at a pair of black pants while being on the phone.

Then there was a woman with a book. She was talking about Satan but then she started calling it "Thesatan". There were some other concepts of dieties in the book. She also said that heavy people, with an over-eating habit, might want to make friends with a janitor. Since janitors see all the food people drop on the floor.

At some point along these dreams I was awake physically in bed. I didn't need the bathroom though so I stayed still, recalled what I could, and went back to sleep.

I dreamed I was on a phone meeting with M and 2 other guys. But, they were actually there in person. M shared first. He said that he likes "scriptures", but something someone said in favor of them in an earlier meeting had ticked him off. Hearing him mention "scriptures" had ticked me off, too. I was thinking of sharing reactively about it by the time my turn came around. I felt very reactive, just hearing about it. Religion is definitely a touchy subject for me to hear about, unless someone is saying religion sucks.

I remember being in the guest room, but in the dream context, it was my room. I still felt a little out of place there. My Dad came to the door. "How was your day?" he asked. "Wait! I'm changing!" I said, and closed the door before he could look in.

I remember dreaming that I was laying in bed, on my left side, like my physical body was. My dad came in the room again. He was angry about something. He said I wasn't allowed to use pencils any more. I think he also said I wasn't allowed to speak out against religion any more. I felt intimidated, and afraid to say anything, but I will speak out if I damn well please. He's not allowed to touch me... Unless he wants to give me a license to defend myself. At which point I will stop him. Anyway, in the dream, he seemed angry at me.

My dad came in the room again. Again, from the head of my bed, he was yelling at me. Again, he said I'm not allowed to use pencils any more. A little green and gold emblem thing fell onto the bed. It had the letters "D" and "R" on it. My dad went to leave the room.

I got the hunch that I might be dreaming. I got up. I might have floated up or perched on top of a dresser. Anyway, I asked him. "Dad! Wait! What's the name of the second car you let me use?" I had to "think fast" to come up with a question that he would be unable to answer if it were a dream.

"Um... Marrion." He said it very matter of factly. Of course, that is incorrect. "No!" I said, and I said the actual name of the car. "You're not real!" I said, and flew up in the air. In hindsight, I probably would have been better off letting him walk away, then enjoying my lucid time, but I didn't think of it.

I flew towards him and he became a sort of robot with a big white dome top and white vaccuum hoses for arms. I could see him through the slightly opaque white dome. At first I got ready to fight off his white vaccuum hose arms.

Then I remembered to stop fighting in the dream. I gave the big robot vaccuum thing a hug and said, "I love you!" Then the dream ended and I woke up.

I stayed still and recalled those. After using the rest room, I played the dreams back some more in my mind, then went back to sleep.

I re-remembered it in full in the morning. This re-remembering thing is awesome. I never thought it would be possible to remember all the nights dreams, even rounds 1 and 2, in the morning. Without even making notes. I guess I have reached an advanced stage.

(zzz)

Rounds 5 (and 6?) of Dreams.

I dreamed I was in a version of my room at 15. My mom and sister or dad and sister were in the room, talking. I was on a phone meeting. Well, I was sleeping with the phone near me, and I dreamed that I kept waking up to dial a phone meeting.

'Wait, why am I sleeping with the phone near me?' I wondered. 'It has lots of radiation!' So I pushed it away. 'Also, why am I on the phone when the other 2 are right there? I could be talking with them!'

Once I hung up the phone, they dissappeared, too.

I remember being in a bed. I was adjusting my position. I kept trying to put a pillow over my eyes, but accidentally covering my whole face. It really scared me that I would be unable to breathe while I slept.

Then I remember being in a dorm room kind of building. It was more eventful but I didn't remember 100% from the earlier parts. I know I was lucid though. I was practicing abilities with some other people. There was "William" and there was "Lauren" and one other guy. (No waking life correspondence.)

I knew it was a dream but they didn't seem to. "William" could punch really hard. Since it was just a dream, I let him punch my hands for practice. It actually hurt a lot, even in the dream. But I knew it wasn't doing physical harm so I let him continue. I think that came from watching DB Super, when they punch each others hands.

Then I remember having a pain in the right side of my thigh. Maybe it was from the pillow in waking life. I showed "William" that if I used a twig and pressed into the location of the pain, I could release the trigger point.

He was enjoying punching me so much that he wanted to punch my leg. At first, I hesitated. Then, remembering it was still a dream, I let him go ahead. Behind us, "Lauren" and her boyfriend were listening to a song about "[name of diety] is good" that was really ticking me off. I wanted to ask them to stop the song but didn't for some reason.

Then "Lauren" and her boyfriend were just being affectionate, telling each other things like, "I love you" and "I always support you" and "I am here for you." Hearing them have that kind of bond brought up a lot of grief for me. As they walked off to the side of the room, I thought of my Inner Child.

There was some kind of tac in the wall. To the right there just so happened to be a blue shoe box of my childhood photographs. I doubted my ability to "summon" the inner child, but the dream did it for me.

I noticed one photo looked like my 4th grade photo. I picked it up. I was smiling and had big teeth. I was wearing a black plaid button down shirt with white and gold/tan lines. The next photo was of me as a kid, at a lemonade stand kind of thing. There was a big neon green poster in front of the table. It said, "I Love Narrating Elimos". The lower case "i" in "Elimos" was bold. I think it meant "Elmos" as in Sesame Street, but in a child's spelling.
The next picture was of me as a kid. This time I had an orange poster. It said "My Russian Robot Bug" something something something. I forgot the exact words. I became very emotional and started to cry in the dream. I don't know if I cried physically when I had woken up but I felt very emotional.

I had a brief awakening there. I don't remember if I got up, stayed still moved a little, or anything. That's why I wasn't sure if this was 5 rounds of dreams or 6. But I fell back asleep and they continued.

I remember a part near the dining room of 15. I remember someone was saying how they wanted to get some kind of fat-removal surgery. But they probably wouldn't stop their overeating habit. So they'd just be in a cycle of overeating, gaining weight, getting surgery, and repeating it.

Someone else said that they were afraid to go to college and get a career going. But really they were alluding to what was underneath the heavy person's condition.

I remember another part about some kind of underground sewer or cement tunnel. Then I was walking around a building... Being called in to work? When I got inside, the job was to go into a giant bag of dirt, and I guess dig. I was eager to be called in to work, but other people were called in first.

I remember being in the dorms again from the previous lucid dreams. I was practicing using powers with other people there again. "William" and "Lauren" were still there.

I forgot some parts but I think we were afraid we'd get in trouble for breaking in. So, we left the dorm. Then, we realized that "William" and "Lauren" actually lived there, so we hadn't broken in.

Anyway, we were out front. "Lauren" was sitting up on a table. It showed all of our names on the side. "Lauren"'s name was "SEVIL". She had to put herself as "single" on her profile due to a lawyer situation, but she wasn't really single. She said that if she was actually single, she would be in love with me. Wow! That was nice. She had blonde hair.

I walked around the side of the building. I might have been riding a bike or a car, or flying. I was aware it was a dream. "William" and 2 others passed by ahead of me, from the other side of the building. "We're going to the dining hall! Come with us!" They said. I followed along.

It changed from night time to day time as we went up the hill. It was a grassy area. I knew it was a dream, but I don't know if anyone else did. "William" was doing amazing tricks on his bike, but couldn't understand how he had gotten so skillful. He did one trick I forgot. Then, a 360 tail whip, and landed back on the bike. I got on the back pegs and he did a prolonged front wheelie.

After that, he kind of rode or fell down a steep grassy hill. I used telekinesis to lift up some green leaves and tried to lift him back up the hill. Then I noticed the food court area.

The chefs behind the food stands were saying, "Telekinesis isn't real!" and it was ticking me off again... I was gonna prove them wrong! I started to use telekinesis on some of the purple domes on top of the building, and then the dream faded.

I was briefly in the phase, thinking I had woke up in bed... Then suddenly I was on an elevator. A guy ran buy, holding 5 big scrabble letters that said "DEILD". He held the letter "I" right up to my face, and I realized, 'It's a dream!'

I woke up from those dreams and recalled them. My body felt much heavier than usual but I knew I was physically awake. Eventually I used the bathroom and laid back down, to replay rounds 1 through 5 or 6 in my mind, and see if I'd sleep again. Nope. I got up and made the outline of the dreams around 8 A M.

It was a Thunder Storm last night. I actually enjoyed the sound of the thunder and rain. I like the natural sounds but not the industrial or plane noises.

Early evening of August 19, 2017. Saturday.



I am in an unknown residence but my dream self does not perceive it as unknown. My mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is present and appearing as she was in the early 1970s. It seems I am only a boy, perhaps around thirteen. Still, I am working with a computer (and of course I had no home computer at that age in the 1970s).

A relative (Valerie) comes up near the left of the table as I am typing and says something I do not fully hear. She goes very close to the left side of the computer monitor. After a short time, I see that the headphone jack has pulled out and I have a false memory that it was a very sensitive (easily wrecked) setup. I tell her to go away as I then try to fix it. She yells at her father (David) that every time she listens to him, she gets into trouble. Apparently, she had been relaying something he had said. (The presence of these two characters is illogical, implying a completely different time period than the other characters).

I become very frustrated as I am trying to work out how to get the jack and socket to work again. The original headphone jack is of the small size, with an adapter of a large jack size fitting over it before going into the socket on the left side of the computer monitor. (This is an unfamliar setup never used in reality.) A few times I think I have it as it should be to work, but pieces come apart and the wires do not touch. There is one point where the smaller jack is just a singular loose tiny cylinder. I notice a number of jacks and socket rings on the table. The ones I need to more conveniently push it all together do not seem to be present.

I become so annoyed I say that I am about to throw the computer away and give up on everything (and not work with computers again). My mother looks on.

Soon, I feel vivid touches on my left shoulder and top of my head, as if someone is trying to comfort me as I sit near the table. I look up and see a large chubby and unrealistically bizarre female face grinning at me. I recognize her as a former classmate (Laurie P) who I never talked to much, though she has darker hair in my dream.

“Oh no, get away from me you horrid ugly…” I say clearly. I am not sure if I have even offended her. She slowly leaves the table without seeming upset. I consider that many other schoolmates may no longer be friendly towards me if they hear of my behavior, but I am not that concerned about it. (There is a vague thought of being unfriended by some of them on Facebook, but this makes no sense in light of the time period I perceive myself in.)

I eventually seem to have most of the small parts together, but it may not work. Still, I put the jack back into the replaced socket. Bare wires are still everywhere. As I sit down, I sense movement to my left. I end up punching someone in the left cheek with my right fist. The sense of touch and momentum is very realistic. It turns out to be a young version of Sam M, another schoolmate. I immediately apologize, saying that I thought he was David (another schoolmate, not the David mentioned earlier). I mention how I thought he might have been drinking and Sam says that David is sitting in another area of the large room and had in fact been drinking.

Sam seems to be doing something with my left arm, apparently some sort of medical attention, though I do not recall hurting it. (He seems an odd composite of child and man.) I tell Sam that I hope my punch does not leave a mark. That part of his face is only slightly red. Meanwhile, I notice that my computer monitor’s speakers are hissing but additionally, the normal audio seems to be coming out of both the headphones (on the table) and the computer speakers. (This is due to subliminal awareness of real sound, as our television is on in the next room.)

---

Attempting to fix the jack and socket relate to subliminally trying to achieve consciousness by increasing neural activity while in the dream state. Sam’s attention to my left arm relates to the fact that it had a slight ache from having slept on it up to this point (which I am not aware of while still in my dream).

---

It is the purpose of the preconscious to wake the dreamer or at least bring attention to the nature of the dream state in real time. Sometimes the preconscious is rendered as a snake to more quickly wake the dreamer with more emotion (such as when my arm has gone numb or is getting pins and needles, though was also a cobra biting my thumb in a dream when I was having pain in my thumb from surgery). There may be other factors, as the preconscious is not always personified as in this dream (Sam). The fact that I am in a dream in early evening likely explains why the preconscious is not as dominant in this case, as I had not entered a longer sleep cycle. (The first appearance as Laurie did not create enough emotion to rise from the dream state. Even my punching Sam in the face only initiated the augmentation of physical awareness to a greater extent and with additional perception of momentum, but it began the needed transition as he doctored my arm.)

---

I'm in a bombed-out bus that's been converted into a trolley that is currently being used as a taxi cab in what looks like 60's-era Vietnam in Full Metal Jacket. I'm having a lot of trouble communicating with the other passenger seated across from me that I don't understand Vietnamese. But I happen to speak Taiwanese, and by Dream Logic, I realize that the two languages are only two steps removed from each other, and are close enough that we are now able to have a conversation. This sequence fades before we can talk, though.

Now I'm hanging around my actual house. I'm watching an NBA game while also playing a video game on my tablet. I focus on the TV, and I recognize LeBron James (Heat), Vince Carter (Raptors), Yao Ming (Rockets -- I'm not watching an All-Star game, and yes, the timing is off, for those who follow sports); and when an on-screen "who's on the court now" graphic flashes, one of the forwards is Bob Odenkirk from Mr. Show. Yes, Saul Goodman is somehow holding his own against a bunch of NBA superstars from the 2000's. I will pay money to watch this happen in real life.

I focus on my tablet, and the game I'm playing is World of Warcraft-esque, but now that I focus on the game, I'm transported into the game as an actual character. I'm in a dungeon, a lot like DOS-era Prince of Persia with a lot of stairs winding up in right angles. There is a platform in the middle that holds the sacred... Block of Cheese. Um.

ANYWAYS, a rival wizard is nearby, and I have to prevent him from getting to that cheese before me. But he is more powerful than I am, and in a bid to stall for time, I taunt him and engage him into a belching contest. Just for the record, I am not this crass in person. I briefly turn into Eric Cartman for this contest. I burp a poisonous green gas, while the other wizard burps fire. When our burps collide, it causes an explosion. We keep one-upping each other until finally, the wizard gets really frustrated (I think it's because he's had enough of such childish antics. I know I would've been). Instead of going after the cheese, he teleports next to me, fully intent on destroying me. It's at this time that I got a good look at him, and he resembles Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python. He has his arms raised to annihilate me.

But ah ha! I'm not a wizard. I'm a goddamned Paladin, and as he realizes that he made a mistake of coming within melee range, I catch him in a sticky trap (mocking him in Cartman's voice again) and proceed to pummel him like a punching bag. At one point of my overly-violent behavior, I actually visualize me punching the punching bag in my gym, FPS style, and even pause so I can look at my movelist like I'm in Street Fighter. I wake up.

I'm the worst Paladin ever.

Only a few parts I can remember here...

This place I'm at, it feels familiar. It feels a whole lot like the lucid dream I had when I looked at my watch as a reality check. The things weren't arranged the same way though. It's still interesting to know I can revisit old dreams and feel the atmosphere of them.

There was someone in this room who caught my attention. It was a girl, she was Asian, or so I thought. This Asian girl was with a man of a darker color. He didn't seem to be much interested in her at the time but both of them were still together as couples. There was also this other Asian woman who I just met. There was nothing special about her, she just gave me a bad look.

I next part I can remember was being assaulted by an older man. He was throwing punches at me for whatever reason. As he was punching me, I felt the blood and pain my nose was bringing in. I felt helpless, especially because I had no strength at the time. But then this other man appears, one who was as tall the man punching me, he got behind the criminal and helped me take him down. After exchanging a few more punches, the old man was down.

This is all I could remember.

Date: 09-25-10
Length: 5 minutes
Vividness: 7/10

My friends, Graham and Cooper, and I were by a pool and we decided to go in.
For some reason, Graham punched me in the crotch, and I did it back.
He told me not to because "it's an implant!"
I jumped in and cooper and I had a breath-holding competition.
I couldn't hold my breath any longer and I inhaled the water and woke up.

-frenchblablabla

I was arguing with my dad. My dad is usually a trigger to go lucid because he has passed, but I didn't .

So we were walking along when someone passed me on my left. I put my hand on my dad's shoulder and moved closer to him to let the guy on my left go by without bumping into me. My dad said, "You see, I'm not really comfortable with that since your mad at me."

I couldn't believe it. Then I started jogging and throwing punches to the air as if I were in training. I think this was a throwback to a punishment he once gave me.

I felt a little silly. I'm not really a fighter, so I felt as though I was being disingenuous, but I kept on because I was mad. At one point I jumped up. I had some great hang-time. This was another chance to go lucid, but it didn't happen.

The End