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Got to work on my dream recall.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the thought feeling: I did it! I was lucid!

But no matter how hard I tried I cannot remember any of it, which makes me think that I probably was not lucid because lucid dreams do not fade like that. Although how do I know that for sure? Perhaps there are tons of lucid dreams I have had, but do not remember?

What I suspect is that this was another non-lucid dream about dreaming. Perhaps I actually remember my dream quite well, perhaps I dreamed "I did it! I was lucid!" And that was the content of my dream?

Anyway for a split second there I was very happy.

I'm walking through an obnoxiously clean, beautiful house. I'm talking Martha Stewart perfect. The kind of perfect that makes you uncomfortable and terrified, because that's when you will suddenly become the most clumsy person in the world and all hell will break loose, your hands being the bringers of destruction. I walk past a long, glass dining room table. Sitting alone at the table is Stiles. As I walk by, he looks up at me and smiles, as if to say everything is alright. That's the feeling I get from him. I smile back at him and continue walking. I walk into a kitchen. There, standing behind a counter top, is an older man. He is really tall and thin. He's wearing a lime green t-shirt. His hair is white and below his waist and he has a big, bushy mustache. I stop in front of him and tell him how much I like his hair. I tell him that it looks just like my dad's hair. He smiles politely and says thank you. He turns away from me for a second and then turns back around to face me again. His hair is now clipped short and neat. His mustache is no longer there. I instantly know that that can't be right. Something is wrong. I start to wonder what could have happened and then I wonder if I did that. But there is no way that his mustache and long hair could just disappear. Then I wake up.

(While small, I believe this is my first experience with lucid dreaming. I became aware, even if only for a short time.)

Dream recall from today's nap, managed to do different method to go into WILD, my usual transition is just waking up in the dream and i was barely able to feel it, but this time i managed to feel some kind of transition more fully.

I am in my bed. Eyes closed. I am going through some unusually heavy HI and at certain point i decide to try and i force myself to sit up while opening eyes and i feel like i am moving different body(dream body) for a second until transition completes and i feel like being one again. I take off headphones and get up, while looking around. Furniture in the room is placed completely differently and there are tons of useless stuff, like if someone with hoarding disorder was there. I rub hands, but dream shortly fades out and i wake up.

Raven wakes me up in the astral world. "Nomad, I was waiting for you, but maybe you weren't asleep yet. It felt like I was waiting a long time. It was weird. Maybe has to do with time dilation? Or I just got lost looking at the koi. Anyway how are you?"
"Oh! Am I dreaming?" I look at my hands. Ghost hands. I see WinterFae sleeping next to me. "Oh, we're in the astral."
"Yes, I thought it might be easier to heal the physical body from the astral plane than the dream plane."
"Right! Let's do it."
Raven and I whipped out our sacred cadeucei, and raise them to the sky. The serpents wind up the staffs, look into each others' eyes, and the four snakes bite their partners. Lightning strikes our caduecei and engulfs us in heavenly flame. Our impurities burn away. We pull the caduecei into our bodies, and they spin as we morph into archangels. I feel Michael's energy pulsing through my body, light shining out of every cell. Raven and I slam our fists together, and a sonic boom blasts out negative energy from the area. I draw a flaming angel sword, and run in a circle around the perimeter, as Raven raises her arms to the sky and charges herself with lightning. I run faster until I am running into my own flame. Raven creates a dome of electricity springing up from the fire circle.
Then, we step to WinterFae, and place our hands above her. I pray to the angels to grant me the power to heal. I see her heart chakra spinning wildly, and I calm it. We balance her chakras, and move stagnant energy through her astral body. I notice she has dark energy stuck in her ankles. Raven does a soul healing, and I hear a song something like, "Take this heart, all the broken parts... mend beyond .... end ..."
WinterFae sighs and smiles in her sleep. I work in trying to straighten her spine. Michael tells me in my head that energy healing works best against infections and illness resulting from viruses, bacteria, and fungi, and speeds healing, but is not so effective for things like spinal adjustments.
I focus on soul healing with Raven. WinterFae smiles again, and cuddles with our blind kitten, Gypsy. I hear Michael say, "You've done all you can for now. You have more to heal ahead."

I wake up in a desert. Holy shit, I'm thirsty. Afternoon... I'm in the Sonoran desert. Why am I... I see a raven watching me, about ten feet away. The raven caws and flicks it head. I feel the raven looking into my soul. I stand up, on all fours. I'm a coyote? I must be dreaming... No, too thirsty to be dreaming. I'm hallucinating. Did I eat peyote? I see heat waves, and a form like Raven Knight flashes in the ripples. "Nomad?"
What? O, Eris help me... O Nechtan, help me find water, for I thirst my god. The raven flies a few feet away and caws. I follow it, and the black bird leads me to a green palo verde tree, and scratches the sand. I smell... water! I dig in the sand. About two feet down, water fills the hole. I dig deeper. At about two and half feet, there's enough water for me to drink my fill.
I am so exhausted, I fall asleep, under the tree.

I awake on the mountain the biodome. I see don Juan. He looks deep into my soul and laughs. Then he whispered in my head, "You're almost there."
I fall down a wormhole.

I land in a strange land of hills with dark dead trees and a red dawn rising. I feel strange and cloyingly terrified. I see Raven standing on a hill, arms raised to the sky. She turns to me. The fear makes me buckle, and I fall to my knees. White light shoots out of Raven's eyes. "O Brother Nomad, thou dost feel the pain of thy soulmate. You are one, yet separate. Now is the time to cleave her pain from thine, o angel."
Raven's light energy fills my body. I can walk again. I stand next to her. She calls down lightning, and I call down fire. All the dead trees are struck by lightning and burn. I hear WinterFae moan in pain. Raven summons a wind to blow all the ash away, and I summon rain. The sky changes from red to violet to blue as the sun rises. Grass and shrubs grow, then trees, and streams appear. Insects and small animals, and then larger ones. I hear WinterFae smile and giggle in her sleep. Raven turns to me and smiles. I give her a hug. She makes a portal, and we return to the Biodome.
We are at the Hot Springs in the Biodome. WinterFae is in the water with her eyes closed. MoSh and Asuka are sitting next to each other. Raven and I get in. Link is in the water, recharging his heart containers. We sit in silence, enjoying the peace of the dream.
Selene walks to the edge of the hot spring, and whispers something to me about the heart of the moon. I feel half asleep, but I'm in a dream.

I am suddenly underground in some strange cavern. A large greyish human heart, the size of a small house, pulses, sitting on steel columns. I feel like vomiting. Why is the heart of the moon plugged into machines. I feel terrified.

I wake up in the sick bay of the Biodome.
Selene is next to me, wiping sweat off my forehead with a cool cloth. "You were having a nightmare," she explains.
"What?"
"Sh..." Selene kisses my forehead, and the dream fades to black.

31/3/13

3:30 A:M

this morning i was trying to (WBTB) and i fell asleep saying my mantra, and i dreamt that i was still awake in my own bed and i wasnt able to get to sleep so i went into my mums room and said i couldent get to sleep and she said it was couse i didnt have a circadin pill and so she got one out put it on her bed then turned back over and went to sleep i then took the pill and went to bed and fell asleep and that was when i woke up in real life.

( this was the first dream i fully rememberd and im so sure that im going to lucid dream tonight)

First dream was like semi-lucid. I was with a close friend on the roof of a very tall building, standing against the railings of the edge.
We had a very short conversation that i cannot remember. Then one moment i realize that im dreaming and i jump of the building. that was the end of the first dream.

I was in friends home. Something wasn't right. Then suddenly an intruder is my presence, and then i threw a knife at him but it only hit arm. So of run into the other room and grabbed my friends switch blade which i sometimes mess with in real life and the intruder walks in so i repeatedly stab in the upper body. end of dream 2

the other dream was influenced by a game was playing the day before. i was in a town. There was like 2 teams and we had a gun battle in the small abandoned town. We kill them all. Some why i remember that someone in our team also died. the game i was playing was called fallen earth.

I had another dream that i was skateboarding, i have very little memory of it. But i do remember that i was grinding down big rails doing grinds such as boardslides, blunt slides and crooked grinds. it felt really good, i was like whoa ive never done this before

03/31/13

Night of Healing
I am in my room, I am surrounded by Templars. I don't want to deal with Templars right now. I have healing to do. I get out of bed, trying to ignore the energy attacks coming off of them. I open a portal to the moon. I go through the portal to find the healing springs. Nomad is already there. He is making out with Winter. I find it a bit awkward to interrupt. I don't wait for long before they notice me there. I tell them I am there to heal. We all go into the healing springs. The water is warm and comforting. I focus healing energy through both of them. Energy flowing through Nomad's foot and all through Winter's body. After the healing is done for now Winter seems to be in a deep sleep. I ask Nomad about his friend. He says yes, his friend. Needs help with depression. I tell Nomad I'll be glad to do what I can. I tell him he'll have to open the portal to get us there. Nomad opens a portal, and we both go through it. On the other side we are in a very barren place. There is one person in the place, all by himself, surrounded by a cloud of darkness. I see one of his eyes is obstructed by scar tissue. I think maybe that needs healing, too. I focus on the song Full Moonlight from the Devil Hunter Yohko soundtrack. Positive energy forms and flows around Nomad's friend, sweeping some of the shadow away. I focus healing energy on the eye. Nomad is also playing music. The area is filled with healing energy. Soon the song is over, but the healing energy remains. There are forms around the borders of the healing energy field. I approach them. Are they figments of a nightmare? No... they're Templars... What are they doing here? They're attacking me with those energy pulses. I hear voices talking all around me, I can't make out what they are saying. It gets louder and louder, drowning out all other sounds. I think Nomad is trying to talk to me. The attacks are getting stronger, but I am about to wake up. The scene fades to black and I wake up. I have the phrase, "May the father of understanding guide us," repeating over and over in my mind. I am waking slowly as that phrase repeats in my mind. This is a phrase said when someone is initiated into the Templars... why am I thinking it now? Someone is trying to turn me into a Templar? I am thinking that it will not work when I notice the sound has changed some. I now hear my cat meowing loudly. "May the father of understanding MEOW!" I am awakened by my cat meowing to get out of my room.

Prior to bed, I had 2 margaritas and a daiquiri... I'm not shocked that my attempts last night were unsuccessful and my dream recall was terrible.

I went to bed focusing on the idea of awareness and lucidity. I focused specifically on the goal of meeting some friends for lunch at an inn in a fairly stable setting I visit (it is often where I wind up when I succeed at a WILD attempt). One of my other lucid goals was to go to a concert with a different friend of mine.

I did not go lucid, but focusing on my goals was not entirely fruitless.

In the non-lucid dream that followed, I DID meet up with some family friends for lunch. Lunch was in some sort of fast-food restaurant. For some reason, I couldn't stand the idea of ordering food; normally, I love french fries but for some reason in this dream, the thought of eating one made my stomach turn! I think that while I was asleep, I may have actually felt ill from the alcohol I ingested and reacted to the in-dream (very vivid) smell of french fries with actual nausea. Instead, I went and got a slushie from the slushie machine... a blue raspberry slushie. The whole restaurant had kind of an "outer space" theme to it.

I woke up briefly. I had set my intention to not move between dreams but EVERY TIME I woke up last night, I moved and then thought "d'oh!". I attempted a WILD but without success and lapsed into non-lucidity.

I was in a car with a friend and her teenaged daughter. We were driving down a highway in Nebraska, trying to find a restaurant... so we could go to lunch. Haha. The dream got a little blurry. We stopped at a truck stop that turned out to be kind of like a... club? My friend and the daughter disappeared once I went into the club. Instead, they were replaced by my friends A_ and two other "friends" I have never met in real life. All of us were wearing baggy, colorful animal-themed footie pajamas that looked kind of like animal costumes. The darker-skinned guy was wearing a costume that looked like a blue alligator... I don't remember what A_ was wearing... and I was wearing a big fuzzy rabbit costume or something. The whole environment felt like a combination of a comic book convention and a rave.

We went to the roof of the club, which had become kind of a skyscraper thing. To get up there you rode an escalator but it had been designed by a crazy artist so that it became so steep that everybody going up to the top had to support each other so they could even stay on the thing. Then you were supposed to get back to the ground floor on a giant slide. At the top there were several bands playing in kind of a "battle of the bands", including 3 identical-looking guys with acoustic guitars and huge puffy hairdos who were playing some stuff that sounded kind of like... I dunno... acoustic Linkin Park? Anyway, they lost the battle and their reaction was to start sobbing and then jump over the railing of the roof and fall to their deaths (they were 5 stories up). I saw this in slow motion from outside of the club. For some reason, at the time I thought the whole thing was hilarious.

So i was going in and out of conciseness in a dream, my friend kaliegh was there so were her cats, we were talking about finding out our true gender and i was messing with my hands lacing them together, i was then at a huge park in some sort of unicycle but it was a baby swing seat on top of it and it was really broken and wobbly, it controlled itself and seemed to defy the laws of gravity, i got out of it and started searching for golf balls, some of them had roots and then i ended up having to go i was with my old boarding school sunrise we lined up then we got into the car a staff member right next to me my phone vibrated and were not supposed to have phones, i guess i was visiting, it was my friend t and she asked me if i could talk or if it would bug the driver and i replied that i was dreaming and i was with sunrise so i would have to talk later, i woke up right then to her calling me.

I guess i was pretty lucid, i have been lately seeing as i can remember very clearly 4 dreams from the past month, but i haven't realized it at all, and i want to realize it and stabilize it