Recent DJ Posts

I flew above earth... I felt big... and small at the same time. I felt love... I felt sadness... as I looked down to earth. My shining white long wings carried me slowly forward... At the same time I saw some russian commander planing destruction... small touch sensitive bomblets looking like candies... smiling devilishly... At the same time I saw destruction. Destroyed houses... I saw dead people... Lonely children. Impassive soldiers in tanks... desperate people... pain... And I wept. My tears were falling down like rain... I flew and I wept... I loved them all. I couldn't help anybody, I was ethereal...

Remarks:
Sad experience...
My wings were hundreds of meters long.
As I flew, I didn't move my wings.
WILD with about 20 subjective minutes length.

06/02/2015 - THE WOLF MAMA

I’m at a RAPHAEL’S home. I think I don’t want to be there because it’s in a shitty part of town. I make an excuse and I leave. Next thing I remember, I’m getting a call and my friend EDUARDO tells me that RAPHAEL has just passed away. Shit.

So I go back, I get into the apartment and I see a lot of people standing in front of his bedroom’s door. They’re watching the body, I think. So I go to pay my respects and I see Raphael in bed. He’s alive. But sleeping. I get really fucking pissed and I get ready to leave when-

I notice a wolf there. I get super excited. It’s a goddamn wolf and I’m very much so a dog person. So I make friends with the wolf and she seems to really like me. We play around for a bit and I realize that the wolf has two pups. I go: “That’s it, I’m definitely taking the wolf mama and her two pups to my tiny apartment even though I already have a dog!”

The wolves and I really bond, and as we’re playing outside Raphael’s apartment, Wolf Mama bites something hard and breaks most of her teeth. Now I really can’t leave her alone, she’ll need someone to take care of her.

As I leave the building to wait for my ride I start worrying about the fact that I DO already have a dog, who doesn’t play well with others and the fact that these are goddamn wolves. Big. Powerful. They could tear my tiny dog apart. Also, I didn’t ask my mom permission to bring the wolves home. That’s when I wake up.

Out at a restaurant in an alternate reality, lucid. DD wakes me up IRL, lost most of the recall.

Fight my dad in a car. He's being annoying again and i'm fed up. Call him all sorts of evil and lose my voice every single time he reacts. Want to call more names but can't. He locks me in. He holds my hands. At some point he tried to make up with me and I distrust him.

He: Give me ur hands, let's make peace.
I: No, show me what's in them first

I see tiny hooked knives in them. He grabs my hands and hooks them in. I feel pain, lose my voice. Have no strength.

..

My little nefue is with me upstairs in the bathroom. He get's called from down and he's so excited and runs to the stairs. I think of the danger, I want to ask if I should pick him up but I am doubting and he's already running; Step, step, step step. So fast no control. Half the stairs he falls down and makes 3 flip flaps before he falls flat face on the ground seeminly unconscious. My sister comes to check on him, talks to him, asks him ; Is this Dwight's fould? .. No it isn't he says... he get's up his face is completely like in the movie face-off. Red and bloody. But very fake. He talks to me and is very nice to me saying I should not feel guilty etc.

I tell my sister what happened and that I could prevent it. She remains blank.

My family. My bigger nefue, his little brother that doesn't exist and his sister that is from another uncle are all one family. They say they will get married if their mom and dad don't drive together to my family next time they visit. This little brother was very chill to me. A beautiful little girl walks past me. sits in front of me. I feel she fancies me to. Do not talk.

Morning of July 3, 2015. Friday.



The prior evening into this morning was completely filled with a different style and route of dreaming I usually take - resulting in different dream types and levels than usual. I remained fully lucid in and out of sleep for several hours (more common when I was around sixteen), fully aware that I am the sole dream-maker and thus without challenge or threat unless I manifest it in-dream (as I did with dinosaurs and such when much younger), with no change in overall focus, yet since I mostly decided to be a “watcher” (and with no scripting or visual conditioning) events just unfolded randomly and without much structure or purpose.

One of the scenes just involved looking at some sort of A4 form, possibly an application of some sort such as that for a patent cover. A child had drawn an airplane over it so that it almost looks as if the airplane is in a faux “bird cage” (in viewing it all as one scene, which includes the otherwise blank horizontal lines of the application). I did not even consider this possible metaphorical play (something related to freedom, I think - or something regarding the nature of lucidity itself) until I made a near-facsimile of the scene in real life, which I find often helps me determine additional meanings or layers. However, this is probably just an association with how our youngest daughter (age two) sometimes draws a picture as such on a blank (but lined like notebook paper) page of my wife’s journal - though does not damage it otherwise.

For quite some time, I am lying in bed with a younger version of my wife and think that I should probably get dressed before I get up (should I get an idea to do anything other than love-making) as, even though I do not really care that we are in a building that is open on at least three sides and there is at least one (unknown) other older female in the area, I should still have some covering - especially as the weather has been cooler lately. The sense of legs touching legs as I rest is quite realistic - the sense of touch being typically augmented to where I am not sure if I even want to do anything else in my dream. On my right near the bed (and seemingly the only internally-rendered wall of the structure), I notice about five pairs of underpants on the floor that I had apparently left there before, which seems a little preposterous for some reason, even considering it is a dream. Mostly, I am questioning why I would just leave pairs there from previous “visits” to this version of my wife, and even so, how could they still be there during waking transitions? I would think that there would be some sort of “automatic cleanup” of dream settings before the next “visit” - even so, I do not recall this exact setting or overall layout from any prior dream - and I know they are mine. I am thinking about taking them “back” (to our real-life home) but then realize that idea is preposterous as well. This shakes me out of my dream to where I cannot find my real pants near the bed, either, but decide to leave it.

Later, when I am almost fully awake out of one scenario, I clearly smell chocolate-chip cookies baking. The scent is so strong and pleasing that I am somewhat puzzled that Zsuzsanna is lying in bed again. She will probably take them out of the oven later. I continue to enjoy the smell, and it is only several minutes later that I realize I am in some sort of hypnopompic carryover and that the smell is not even there. In fact, there is no scent of any kind that I notice after full wakefulness. Hypnopompic smells are fairly rare for me, but this was so pleasant, it colored my mood in a more cheerful sense.

Another scene takes me back to Stadcor Street in Brisbane. I decide to try to talk to an unseen character (to see if someone just randomly appears - something I did a lot in dreams in my late teenage years - even in fully dark settings or abstract spaces) and a young female takes notice, but appears almost out of view on my right (I have to lean out the fictionally-structured window just a bit to see her). The scene is a bit ambiguous as I was sure there was a character meant to be on my left, but this one appears so I talk to her and even tell her that I was trying to talk to someone on my left which makes me feel a bit silly. She is talking from behind a shorter wooden fence about chest-high (and is implied to be my fictional neighbor it seems) and I remain looking out from the window in the main bedroom at the back of the house. Not much ensues; she just seems to wonder what I am doing to my dream regarding the setting and any potential theme or plot and seems helpful.

This scene eventually shifts to where I decide to try to read something, so I turn on my “dream television” to see what happens. I soon see a sequence of binary numbers on the bottom of an otherwise blank (dark) screen and I start to think, oh, how clever, someone (a dream character or perhaps “real” entity) is trying to talk to me in binary. I am somewhat wary of who or what would do this, so I study what I see with full lucidity so that I can perhaps translate it later if possible. The numbers are scrolling across the bottom and just turn out to be “10 10 10 10 10…” as I watch. However, they transform briefly into “01 01 01 01 01…” before fading (or rather, as they are rolling off to the left). I then see my first name with the last letter (“e”) missing. Soon, I see one instance of the number two in the sequences of ones and zeroes and then realize it is pointless - as that means it cannot be binary code. I then consider if it is supposed to be the capital letters “I” and “O” rather than one and zero, as I see something like IPIO at one point, which stands for “i’ll pass it on”. I lose interest in trying to make sense of this gibberish so shift my mind to an outdoor environmental setting.

Soon, I am flying (in a standing vertical position) over a highway with hardly any traffic. I see one car, which I change into a bicycle and back several times as I fly along saying, “I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming” - which I had already known hours before, but just feel like saying it, thinking that it might also accelerate my awareness (though it does not - and my critical thinking skills are still mostly absent). I quickly get bored watching the bicycle transforming to car and back and as such, causing the person (unknown male) riding and driving to zigzag all over the road in confusion. I am probably being a bit mean, so let it go.

Finally, the last scene takes me into my house (though which actually seems more like Barolin Street) where I notice someone has parked his car inside the house (completely impossible in real life of course, though I only see part of the back of it). In fact, he is trying to back out of the room he has parked in (due to me telling him to leave and get his car out of my house), but cannot get it through the doorway, it seems (and I do not consider in-dream that he could not have possibly gotten in that way in the first place). He gives up and goes out onto the porch and sits down and I follow him out, continuing to yell at him to get out (regardless of how much rent he had been paying). He looks annoyed and frustrated.

1. I had just walked down stairs. As I get to the foyer area I stop because I hear a loud noise outside. It sounds like something really big is burning. I look out the window and see that the entire sky is red. I am immediately alarmed and this heightens my awareness to 90%. I open the front door and walk onto the front porch. Seconds after I do so I see a massive meteor that is glowing orange and on fire, pass through the sky. It is descending quickly and I can tell that it is going to make impact extremely close to where my house is. I look at the red sky and all around the neighborhood from where Im standing. Even though the sky is red it seems to be glowing green as well.
"I have to do a reality check" I tell myself out loud, "I will as soon as I tell mom and dad". I am terrified and am almost positive that me and my family are all going to die. I run back inside and close the door. "Mom, Dad, there is a meteor that is about to make impact really close to us, we need to get out of here now!!" I yell. "Alright son we'll leave in a second." my dad replies. They barely care at all. My parents continue to sit where they are and watch the T.V. in the mean time. Thoughts start racing through my mind. What if we don't have enough water? What if we don't have enough food? What if we die? "Dad, I'll take my car and follow you guys wherever you go" I tell him. "No you're coming with us and leaving your car" he replies. Shit, no more car.
I realize that if I die I might go to hell because I'm not that good of a Christian. I start praying for God to forgive me for everything, and I am still extremely scared.

2. I walk up my staircase and then walk down the main hallway on the second floor. I immediately notice that the door to my bathroom has changed. "What the crap, my bathroom door has been replaced with the front door of the house?!" I think to myself. I look to my left and see that the same thing has been done to the spare bedroom door. "There's no way" I think to myself, "Dad, why is the front door to the house in place of my bathroom door!?" I yell to him across the hallway. I am now 99% aware. I turn around to go to my dad and as I enter his room Darth Vader stops me. He is about 6 foot 5 inches and looks down at me and says, "Don't worry about is son". At this point I am pretty scared because I don't want to get killed so I turn around a haul my butt out of there in fear for my life.

In both of these dreams I was only seconds away from becoming lucid. However, my point is that I am starting to become lucid in multiple dreams a night now and my recall is really starting to go up. In all of my dreams I am aware to a degree as well now.

(I woke up a few times during the night and remembered literally NOTHING about my dreams. Which sucked because with all the lucids I've had lately, I may have had one and forgotten. I remembered only my dreams from my last leg of sleep.)

I was part of a special task force sent into this massive cave system to help take out these evil giant bats that could disintegrate people by hovering over them and letting off a sound/energy wave down at them. We fortified the cave system, adding rooms and barriers and such, but when the bats started coming there were thousands of them. The battle waged on and we were losing. So we retreated back to one of the rooms to formulate a plan. Our intel told us there was a cave path where only the baby bats lived, but they were also dangerous. We decided to take them out first, since they'd be weaker and we could figure out the behaviors and weaknesses of these bats. I had to run to the bathroom quick, and when I got back apparently they'd already passed out the guns and ammo. I asked about getting one and they told me to talk to some guy who was all decked out Rambo-style, but I couldn't get to him to get a gun. So I wound up following this task force unarmed. When we got to the tunnel, baby bats started pouring out of it. They were still pretty huge, and another battle took place. The people on the force were shooting them down with machine guns and such, and I was just running frantically from barrier to barrier looking for this guy to give me a gun.

I was checking eBay and I noticed my rating had shot down a crazy amount. So I looked into it and noticed people were leaving bad feedback about how I never pay, so I freaked out that someone had hacked my account. I looked all over my laptop trying to figure out how they did it, but to no avail. So then I went back to eBay to change the password on my account and hopefully reconcile with the support staff, but no matter where I looked I couldn't find a page to change passwords from. I was flipping out because the hacker was fucking with my shit as I looked, and this statue I wanted to buy ended that day and I neeeeeeded it but I doubted they'd sell it to me with my shitty history. I decided to literally 'clean' the viruses from my laptop, so I mixed a big white bucket up with water and vinegar and dunked my laptop in it. For some reason this satisfied me and I thought it was all good again. But the bad feedback was still there and I had no idea how to fix that. A friend of mine said they knew someone who worked at eBay that could help, so I went down to the corporate office to see her and she agreed to change my password for me. I have no idea how I got rid of the bad reviews though.