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    1. Survival in chaos and war in my home | [11.07.2021]

      by , 07-11-2021 at 02:09 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Survival in chaos
      Dream fragment. There was some sort of survival situation, it seems to be happening with some sort of massive creatures or robots the dream itself compares to war of the worlds. At some point, at the location shown below (map day2_coast_09, Half-Life 2), a character imagined what it'd be like to be so powerful, which the dream illustrated. First, you saw a war of the worlds tripod emerge from the ocean, then, as it passed through an area where you can't see it, it turned into this large, bulky, and black robot and approaches something to fight it.

      War in my home
      There is a war in my home, and I am laying in a bed of sort with a friend who is fighting with me. He expresses his concerns if this position is safe, but I say that I can just play dead, but he doesn't feel safe so he runs away. Then, suddenly somebody discovers me, somebody with a female voice, who insults me and then crushes my skull. After just a second, it switches to the view of my friend.

      Then, there's a scene change. The war's over. A man is running around and complaining that he has to clean up. Apparently, there's a bunch of scorpions around because somebody broke a terrarium of sort. He puts away a few flower pots on the window sill and sees many small scorpions, which he crushes. Then, he sees what seems to be a dead tarantula on a cardboard box, which I know he thinks is a scorpion, which he whacks with something to make sure it's dead. Then, what appears to be an extremely agile spider jumps towards the man and I switch from spectator to active, as I then run away from the spider thing, which is now a butterfly or moth. It lands right in my face, and I try to wipe it off but it won't come off, which I explain to myself as the fact that it is way too flat. Then, somebody comes and gives me something which makes it easier to remove.



      Coast screenshot:
      Test tube baby Jesus-20210711141824_1.jpg
    2. Almost drowned, glasses. Wild battle. Chicken duck. Buss ride.

      by , 06-02-2021 at 07:37 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm in the swimming hall and about to jump in with some friends. After I have jumped into the water Albin holds me down with his feet. I hear him clearly even though my head is under water. He says that he will soon let me up. I am pretty calm and trust him but I still think that what he does is wrong. I am released and swim some more. A new person tries to drown me but I recover. I walk up and try to find my glasses. I look around and think that I see them in a bag. I pick the glasses up but notice a difference. These glasses are strechable and have built in lamps in them. I put them back and keep on looking. I find a new pair of glasses that looks just like mine. After closer inspectation I notice that these ones have light iron frames with holes in them on the sides. I look some more and find more glasses that almost looks like mine but there is some kind of deviation. I can't find my glasses.

      I'm on a warm island and the sun is shining. There are two camps that fight each other and I'm on the left side. Most people have bow and arrows and shoot at the other side. I dodge some shots and try to advance. I am able to reach their beach and there is some cute girl present.

      I take care of some small birds in a cage on our back yard. New fragment. Our cat is sitting one the table and she is eating one of the birds! I am a bit chocked but think about how this is nature. I'm one the back yard again and reinforce the cage so that they will be more safe. I use two wooden planks to protect them but there is some dirt in the way. I inspect the birds and notice that they are very ugly. They have the body of a hen but with a duck's beak.

      I'm with a girl and we are about to leave two boys. The girl is angy with me and I try to show her that she doesn't need to be angry. I talk with her and say one of boy's names wrong which triggers her. I fix a ride with a buss and she understands that I am reliable. The bus is riding through a tunnel and suddenly a lot of good looking women appear on the sides like a movie scene. Rainbow colors are starting to appear and I understand that I am lucky.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. ccxliii. Another possible FA, Serving in a Queen's army

      by , 03-28-2021 at 12:43 PM
      28th March 2021

      Fragment:

      Some kind of false awakening, dream reality feels accurate to waking life. I get up and then am answering the door? It's early morning and it's sunny outside; the sun's position in the sky would make it late afternoon but in the dream I don't realise this, the light looks morning-like. There's a courier stood by a van on the left or something and I go to him, shielding my eyes from the sun's glare with my right hand. My eyes feel exactly as if I had indeed just gotten up and are taking long to adjust to the bright light and I squint. I take a package from the courier? There are other people around in the street but rest of details not recalled.

      Fragment:


      I'm in a building. A hall or palace, unsure. I'm part of a faction and I have some kind of battle equipment but little detail recalled and I go on some kind of patrols on my own in a city or town area. Then back at the palace place, one item I recall clearly on a table is an Axis-like medal with a skull at its centre. It's a pendant and it's mine. I take it and it has some kind of interface overlay saying it grants me "+2 fortune". There's some other pendant which I also take and it grants +1.

      In the room I'm in, there are two large palace windows to a courtyard. A Nazi officer with some bodyguards or soldiers approach a door next to the windows. He knocks or something and waits patiently, I believe someone answers the door and the officer speaks. "I have been sent to speak to the queen", he says, or something to that effect. The door is shut and the man waits patiently outside, looking somewhat stiff in posture.

      It is either dawn or night but it doesn't look so dark outside. Someone goes to get the queen; eventually she appears to my left in a dark corridor. She's in her night clothing and looks rather exposed or vulnerable as far as royalty goes. This is some ancient English queen, but I'm not sure who; possibly queen Victoria, I get a feel of. She stands a distance away from the door and it is opened now; she engages in some dialogue with the Nazi officer. Her face suggests mistrust, disgust and apprehension, possibly more so for having been woken in the night like this.

      Notes:
      - The second fragment was very long but I cannot recall enough of it to put into words; a lot of it seemed to take place in WH40k-like locations. There was a general feel of futuristic Warhammer mixed with WWII themes to the whole thing.

      - The pendant I had also gave that feeling; as far as I can tell, it was like a medal awarded to me for valour in combat; I do not remember what the second pendant looked like. They were both on leather strings.
    4. 8 Mar: Earthquake, boat travel and caught in the middle of a war

      by , 03-08-2021 at 05:13 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some building in a library and with Swedish guys. There is an earthquake and some aftershocks. Not strong, but very long lasting, so the building opens some bad cracks in the basement. I am about to warn others when another shake hits. I see many cracks forming around the main staircase and central hallway. People seem to be taking cover precisely where it is more dangerous. I head to a lateral exit that leads to a garage and seems safer to me. There, I am met by a man I know and I think he is going to be helpful and point out some escape route, but instead he gropes me. I am wearing a skirt and he almost removes my panties. I feel disgusted and run away. Next outside there is an entrance to some fair, and it doesn't seem affected by the quake. They are offering merch at the entrance and I go in. Find a conference about sustainability and going forward, but all I hear is bullshit about how capitalism will save the world. They have some time for the audience to talk, but there is no mic, we just talk and our voice is somehow amplified. So I make a comment when there is a moment of silence after two ultra-liberal freaks and point out the opposite of what they have been saying. Some couple sitting to my side seems to hate me for that, so they start being assholes to me. First they steal my bag with the merch we were handed out at the entrance and give it away to one of their two daughters, making ridiculous comments just to stress out they are worthy and I am not. Then the woman makes a stupid comment about my shoes and then steal my seat when I get up for some reason. So I seat on top of them and start acting like them. They make a scene and I have to leave but they are also thrown out, while claiming I am the one harassing them.
      At some food court outside, I rescue a puppy that seems to be by itself. I put a kind of leash on him but have to carry him because he can't stand still, maybe confused or scared. Along the way ahead, I encounter a human sized owl who tries to eat him and we fight. I wonder how I'll take the puppy home since I am abroad and also how's it gonna be, as he surely will grow bigger than my dog Hachi and I have no more space for dogs.

      On board of a boat, vintage style, clearly from a past era. But there is a covid warning sign on the deck, people are not allowed gathering there, must stay confined. I am wearing a bikini and I have green hair. Also, I am looking for my teacher on board and I break the confinement and check the deck and everywhere.

      At the town of Vila Franca, there is a war going on between Americans and Russians for some reason. It also looks from a distant past, besides being misplaced. There are crowds in the streets, trapped between troops and tanks coming from opposite sides. People head to the union building and start crushing each other on their way in. I am with a couple other people and I spot an old lady escaping through a tiny opening between two buildings and I takes us there to find a very narrow street leading to a more quiet area in the back of the buildings. Unfortunately on the other side where we exit, 3 boys with sniper aspirations, are shooting at us. We find some dead soldiers with grenades and riffles and we use them. We don't kill the boys, just shoot in their direction to get a chance to escape.
    5. 16 Feb: Community in a secret complex goes into war, chemical weapon terrorism

      by , 02-16-2021 at 09:24 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I live in a community within a sheltered complex with many layers or levels inwards. We can go outside but we have to be careful coming back to not reveal our entrances and entrance codes. I go out for the 1st time and without permission, by sneaking out after some group. Inside the door there is a poster with the pin number to come back in and I have to memorize it. The outside is just a normal city alley. I get in trouble soon after when I encounter a group of dudes who seem to be up to no good. I try to shake them off, but they keep following me, so as soon as I can, I try to go back into the complex. But somehow they saw me putting the pin code and they manage to come inside. The first tier of the complex is just a giant warehouse organized as a maze and I manage to escape them as I know the place better. But they also seem to know too much, so I try to reach the authorities to warn about the intruders. I learn they aren't the first ones. There has been some attacks and intrusions from the outside and seems like there are people from within helping out and we are about to go into war. They want to recruit me to fly a drone, but the process is too scary. They basically plug in our brains to an AI drone. It makes no sense to me as the AI is making all the decisions any way and the pilots just look like zombies. They say if the drone is shot down the pilot isn't even aware of anything. I don't get it. So I run away from that to and join a rebel group within this world that lives on top of a hill with trees and a whole natural life. Some drone crashes into their territory or so I thought. Turns out it really just landed in there and it brings weapons. Basically this group is also being called to join the fight.
      Then I meet some really underground rebels and join them. But I am a bit suspicious of their methods. They take me along to some mission at an official governmental building full of people who are there to work out some bureaucracies. Riverstone is there. My "friends" disappear for a while and when they come back they put on some masks and tell me we need to go. I know what they just did, so I say no. They leave me behind and block the exit door. I warn people that there is a chemical weapon about to blow up and immediately something blows up in smoke. Riverstone panics and I ask him to look around for heavy objects we might use to break the door or a window. He tries a vase to break a window, doesn't work, he inhales some gas and starts collapsing. I see a secondary door in some nook where the smoke hasn't reached yet and I grab a fire extinguisher and strike it down until I break the lock. It leads to a hallway with open access to a garden with a lake. I go back and call everybody to this door and tell them to help the ones who already lost conscience and are laying on the ground. After some effort, there were no casualties, but people are very tired and in shock. A couple persons offer me some cookies as a gesture of appreciation for my help and I find them delicious.
    6. ccvi.

      by , 01-09-2021 at 01:48 PM
      9th January 2021

      Fragment:

      (from last to earliest)

      Watching, or playing a game like War Thunder but it also included infantry. It was going a little bit wacky by the end of the dream with weird physics bugs. At some point I recall seeing some soldiers from a third-person point of view behind them where they would set off some rockets but then ride them; with the weird physics bugs it resulted in a lot of stuff bouncing around the place and I remember one of the rockets detonated on colliding sideways with a rocket launching flatbed truck.

      An earlier sequence, was with H in an alternate version of the town we live in. We went to some kind of physical therapy group and we were both doing the same activities. By the end H was complaining it had hurt him and he couldn't see the benefit as a result of this. I remember saying something about how this being how it always was (for me).

      Another part. Half participating, half watching; some kind of mega rally race thing. Two motorbikes in the lead, the one with the greater lead is from the USA and the second one is from the UK; I remember seeing this second bike, it seemingly had no rider and it had a Union Jack paint job that actually looked decent.

      There were hundreds of other cars and motorbikes on this race, I recall seeing them on a map which showed the entire circuit - it was a very long and convoluted circuit in a mountainous area - but they were literally several miles off these two leading bikes. The bike from the USA still had many seconds of lead on the UK bike. Vague recall of my dad being nearby?
    7. Spidey, Fireworks, Wartime, Imposter Syndrome

      by , 12-04-2020 at 12:31 AM (Oneironautic Escapades)
      12/3/20

      I am with a group of people who all feel like outcasts of some kind. Marc Ruffalo is with us and at one point he throws a bus as hulk with us on it for rapid transportation. We are a sort of mutant club with all varying abilities. I can shoot web from my wrists like Spidey but I don't believe I have any of the other abilities. There is a part where the goblin is attacking me and I keep shooting web at his face. Only the web is thin and spindly like a normal spiders web and not doing anything besides making him webby, not like thick Spidey web. Goblin is somewhat inconvenienced but not overly upset with me.

      I am at a general country store and notice they have fireworks for super cheap. Like 1Ę bottle rockets and 5Ę firecrackers. I want to buy some but don't have any money. It's such a great deal.

      I am watching a movie with some mother, I think it is someone I used to work with. Her
      son gets home, he bought a pack of fireworks.
      When he hands them to me I notice they are burning like an ember. Out of caution for them not exploding I douse them with water. While by the sink I accidentally turn on a burner on low and burn up a towel that was sitting on the oven. It smokes up the house but no one noticed until just the corners were remaining. There is a plasticy synthetic smell in the air.
      The father of the family gets home, he doesn't know I am there and sees me before his family and isn't very happy to see me. He offers to drive me home, I am grateful. While driving the mood was somewhat tense and I noticed we get off on the wrong exit driving towards the city rather than my neighborhood.

      Wartime we are being shot at. I am with friends and we have a goal to accomplish by setting certain checkpoints. They are small white buttons on the battlefield that we need to active one at a time. The last one my friend gets shot up pretty bad he can't move very well and I am tearing apart some raw chicken over the button but cannot set the checkpoint. A guy is standing maybe ten feet away shooting at us. I have no more bullets so I pull out a chef's knife and yell like a crazy person while charging at him. He gives up before I get to him and throws his gun away. We set the checkpoint and the war is over. I bump fists with the guy who gave up as a sign of good faith. My friend is fine. My arms are shot up and really sore but everyone lives.

      I am in an older elementary school after-hours. There is some sort of biden campaign event going on that I am not totally connected to, I don't see anyone involved but know it's happening.
      When helping clear up one of the classrooms I go into a small supply closet
      My parents are in there as well as other workers. My coworkers from the spa I used to work at come in all in the same uniform.
      I say hey old fam but none of them recognize me or acknowledge me really, I am wearing blue jeans.
      My old boss who I had a falling out with walks in she has a mask on and a sideways red painters hat. I am wearing a mask and realize we are all in too close of quarters. She starts talking to my father and I excuse myself out of the small room.
      I accidentally knock her knee with my backpack when walking around her, she rubs it like I hurt her and I leave the room without her recognizing me.
      I had fallen asleep in another room and was very drowsy when collecting my things, and I kept picking up other people's things. There are three hispanic black girls who are my friends in the room. I keep trying to leave but keep going back into the room because I seem to think I forgot something.
      I remember where my phone was, only when I pick it up it is purple and has a girl's name on it. It is the same as my phone but looks like someone else's. I am confused. When looking for it the girls are gathered around helping me they are confused too. Then I notice my phone outline in my jean pocket. I don't tell them and put the phone back in its place telling them not to worry about it. I am sure I will find my phone somewhere.
      I am very drowsy and nothing is making sense. I go to leave again and the older woman teacher tells me to give my jacket back to the other girl. I am confused but then realize she had given me the tight fitting jacket to wear because I was cold. I apologise again and take it off to give back to her. I also have a backpack on I am not sure is mine. Severe imposter syndrome combined with heavy 'i just woke up' drowsiness. They all like me, like they look up to me but I am acting like an idiot. One of them thinks I live in texas. I tell them where I'm from is not far from here. I spend a while looking for my car in the parking lot though I know I rode here with my parents.
      At a certain point I am chasing my cat through the hallways, only it's dark and I don't think it's my cat once I catch it.
    8. cxlvii.

      by , 08-31-2020 at 01:31 AM
      Chronological re-direction entry;

      2nd August 2020

      4th August 2020 - 1

      4th August 2020 - 2 (lucid)



      5th August 2020

      Fragment:


      Canyons and ravines. Going around with someone else, but don't recall who.

      Eventually something about escaping or getting away. An alien "saucer" ship. Vision, of an alien communicating in an unknown language, as if on a holographic screen/display. One word stands out from the alien's speak however: Hyperdrive.

      I need to find a hyperdrive for these aliens, or find a suitable person to repair theirs maybe, I remember thinking. The drive would be mounted at the top of their ship?

      Still in the same dream, in my old home's building in the stairwell. Something seems different from how it should be. I go to one of the in-between level landings and go through one of the storage areas behind the frosted glass. They have a door on the other side which leads to a different, but mirror version of the stairwells. I don't question this in the dream, but it would have been a very good point for a RC, as this construct would be physically impossible in reality, there would be a drop on the other side, not a mirror version.

      The stairwell was well lit by natural light, but still many dark contrasts. Unlike in present day, the stairwell had no automatic lights.



      6th August 2020

      Fragment:

      Some early dream part was something about sending waves of hundreds of "native" fighters, fighting for some cause that a faction I belonged to was pursuing. These native fighters kept being annihilated by the enemy, which was simply better equipped.

      After this happened more than a few times (I remember seeing it, but not being there), I went to the fronts myself, only to find that there was no strategist in place here and so felt it was no wonder they kept getting slaughtered by the enemy. Lack of equipment could have been substituted by adequate and cautious strategy to defeat these openly arrogant enemies.

      Fragment:

      By the end of this dream I was watching some kind of live concert? There was a white female singer in the centre of a room. She started to sing a song I don't know, it was titled "Snowflake" or something. At first I thought that it was going to be silly, but then I found myself relating to the lyrics of her song, feeling like it was a song that could have come from H's perspective about me. The lyrics started off something like "something as simple as; merry Christmas!; is enough to [something] my snowflake".

      In-line note: Re-writing this here now, it seems there's still a lingering emotional link, despite not remember the dream very well visually; this suggests to me that this is attached to a very specific part of my subconscious, as I only have a few specific instances of this happening.

      Because I found myself relating to the lyrics so oddly and so specifically, I did a reality check. I had the correct number of fingers, and my fingers wouldn't pass through my palms, so I decided perhaps too quickly that reality was consistent enough that I wasn't dreaming.

      I remember the whole thing was all very "sing-along", with people in an audience playing their own instruments, in perfect time with the music, somehow just right, with no flaws at all.



      Extra note:

      - The music in the singing lady dream was, to my memory, completely dream-generated, but it did have elements of old timey singing/melody, which H does listen to a fair bit and I usually listen to as well when H does.
      - The first fragment from the 6th came from an incredibly long dream, I remember being in a lot of different places, mostly tents, trenches, battle-scarred streets, etc. I remember many scenes of both brightness and darkness, but I seem to be remembering an overly orange, sandy tone to the dream.
    9. lxxxviii.

      by , 02-20-2020 at 02:27 PM
      Only some small fragments. Didn't make notes on getting up and the DJ wasn't the first priority after getting up.




      Dream Fragment:


      I was helping or teaching a small boy. He was from a village called Fargoth? It was South-East from wherever I was, somewhere in the North of England. I remember seeing it on a map, a mix of an online map and a city-building game map. I remember we looked at maps together too, he talked about Spain for some reason and I remember zooming in on the deserts and seeing farmland.

      Dream Fragment:

      I was helping a North American general, he wanted to take me and a group to battle somewhere specific. In the dream I had already been in battle at that place before. The general must have been in his fifties but had white hair for the most part. I remember he had a typical US soldier's helmet from decades past, not a modern one.

      We went to the place and we were under fire from pretty much all directions. I remember it was dark and atmospheric, the sky was a certain mix of red and black and smoke. The general wanted to go after a certain Zen-Chi and so I lead him up a hill where I knew he was firing from or something. This entire location had small houses and maybe was a small fort or old castle? I remember a little market thing, in ruins.

      At the top of this climb, mostly stone steps, there was a wooden shed. There were loads of woodworking tools on the outside, and other sharp implements that had nothing to do with woodworking.

      The general wanted to go head in, I stopped him physically. I told him he couldn't, that was exactly how I'd lost a friend to Zen-Chi myself and so I decided we'd taunt him a little first. We shouted at him from outside to try and unsettle him; then we opened the creaky wooden door. It was brighter inside, there were some tungsten bulbs lighting the place. There were physical separations or curtains all over the inside, but before I went in, from the tool rack, I grabbed a long and heavy metal rod that had a perfect point at one end. It was like a cast aluminium javelin, it was odd.

      Despite it's length I managed to manoeuvre inside with it. I motioned for the general to stay back and I crouched, seeing under the separators inside the shed. I could see Zen-Chi's feet. I approached slowly and heard him taunt back at us now, I can't remember what he said.

      Then, when I was close enough, I struck his foot with the sharp point of the javelin, quickly pulling it back and then I think I got up and opened the barrier, which was a curtain after all, and struck Zen-Chi in the head with the sharp point, then his chest.

      In that moment it was somewhat unsettling to strike him on the head, which made me feel as though I'd hesitated, but I wanted to be sure he'd die, hence the second strike on the chest.



      Notes:
      - The hesitation and unsettling feeling of striking someone in the head so brutally like I did against this dream character reflects well how I feel about certain situations in fighting. I feel it's somewhat foul to destroy someone's face and head, not to mention it paints a very gruesome picture in my imagination.

      - The plot of that dream was pretty generic, as I have no special reason to have been on either side of the dream's conflict.

      - In waking life, H pointed out that Zen-Chi seems like a pretty generic name, which may even not be a name at all, since it's just two oriental words relating to the spiritual and meditative worlds.

      - When Zen-Chi was dying, he had an expression of surprise on his face. I'm remembering now that one of the taunts that me or the general shouted at him was that we'd take all his woodworking tools once we were done with him.

      - The dream where I was helping the boy was much longer, but because I didn't make any notes and had it very early on in the morning, very few details were retained through sleeping again and having the second dream.

      - The red, black and smoke of the second dream reminded me of Stratholme in World of Warcraft. It sort of seemed to imply that the atmosphere itself was practically on fire, but during that dream I remember seeing tracer bullets and shells flying above us, very similar to a tank game I've played recently.

      Updated 02-20-2020 at 04:32 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    10. Fragment

      by , 09-12-2019 at 12:33 PM
      There is a field with an underground system of bunkers that are joined together. At some points in the field low drum-like exit points jut out of the ground with a slit in them to serve as observation posts as well. At some point a few people escape from the bunkers (which are being invaded) and take shelter at an old hotel that feels like it belongs in a WW2 movie.
      Tags: war
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    11. 22 Aug: My guru throws me a grenade and fire in a festival in Brazil

      by , 08-22-2019 at 10:12 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I pass through a small secondhand fair. One lady is annoyingly wanting me to buy a book collection from her. I get away and enter a war game simulation area. But it turns real pretty quickly, as soon as I realize the bullets shot are real ammunition. I pick a gun from a guy on the ground, presumably dead and I go upstream along a river. End up in a garden with people dancing. No war here. But I was followed by a guy that threatens everybody with a grenade. He arms it and throws it at me. I try that trick from the movies, of kicking it away. But then Rinpoche comes out of nowhere once again, catches it and after throwing me a defying look, throws it back at me. I feel like "Whaaaat?" and panic a little bit. But almost immediately realize, with my absolute trust in my guru, that this grenade represents no danger and that I can do whatever with it. So I hold it in my hands and try to turn it into a lotus flower. Unfortunately all I succeed in doing is turning it into sort of a flower made of rags. I feel disappointed, but then Rinpoche approaches me and turns these rags into a tent and invites me to step inside it with him.

      With my parents having vacations in Brazil. We go to some festival which is in a semi rural and forested area in the outskirts of a little town. Soon after we arrived, we start seeing smoke from distant fires in the forest. We discuss how it might get dark sooner because of it. But we think we're safe. It seems very distant.
      I see banners from locals supporting Bolsonaro and I feel angry. I make a nasty comment and some man hears and he's not happy. I tell him that I love Brazil and its people, but I just can't accept that man they chose for president. Later we're walking through a street with restaurants and I spot some curtains of a place, on fire. Then look around and also see some vegetation on fire. As I raise the alarm, we notice there are fires spreading a bit everywhere, from sparks coming through the air from far away. We decide to grab our things and leave this area before it gets serious. But general panic ensues and to make things worse, as we head to the car in the parking lot at the entrance of the venue, there are landslides and large boulders falling onto the road we're taking and people are getting blocked. For a while I lose my parents in the crowd, but soon after my mom appears. As we find a safe way out, she complains about the things I chose to bring on our backpack and I don't get why she is commenting that until I realize we can't go back to our tent to get most of our stuff that we left behind and I feel awful for that.
    12. 26 Mar: Being an Indian goddess

      by , 03-26-2019 at 09:50 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I live in some ruined temple, like a spirit or ghost, kind of dreamy detachment, not interacting with humans for ages. I am balancing on a swing in a large inner courtyard and singing a song in a traditional Indian style. Then some kind of holy man comes by and sees me. He takes me for a goddess, bows down and worships me. He says my name, something starting with an "S" and kind of long, like Saraswati, but with a couple of "M" in the middle. Slowly I start recalling being this goddess and I feel immensely melancholic, with all the sorrows of the world in my heart. He runs to tell everyone that this goddess is back, thousands come to see me.
      But one man or demon doubts that I am immortal or hates me, so he shoots an arrow at me. I feel pain and he takes it as proof that I am no goddess. Then another man throws another arrow, and another and so forth. The pain is unbearable, but I dont feel that I am dying. Then people who stand by my side also start throwing arrows at the attackers and it seems the whole humanity is fighting, until I fall into the ground, more sad than hurt. Then some men and women around me stop shooting arrows and simply take care of protecting me and taking me to a safe place. They take care of me, remove the arrows with so much love and devotion and I feel better again. The man who threw the first arrow is killed and the fight stops. They bring me back to the temple and organize to take care of me and provide me what I need. I have a room, which looks more like a storage room of antiques, filled with ancient treasures, maybe offerings from my devotees. I feel so tired, I just want people to leave me there quietly alone for eons. But people can't just be quiet, they keep coming to visit me, looking for me, wanting to talk to me.. But I'm like a delicate flower, they shouldn't come close, they shouldn't touch me or talk to me. I stay in absolute silence whenever they address me and I finally decide I need to leave again from this human realm. It's too heavy for me. I hide in a moldy wardrobe, they think I am playing hide and seek and eventually take a peak inside. But I am no longer there. I just needed a dark quiet place to slowly float away to another plane. I can see them as if I am still sitting in the wardrobe, but I am nowhere and everywhere, until humanity needs me and deserves me some day. Then I'll reemerge.
    13. Wednesday, March 6

      by , 03-13-2019 at 07:04 PM
      I am with Dad and Makayla in an unfamiliar house, on the brown couch. I have a pair of athletic looking Hanes underwear that are on clearance that I am folding and clipping onto a hanger. It is pretty dim in here, and there is something on the TV. Iím not sure if itís a movie or what. The scenario is Ted? and some middle aged men (on a sports team I think) getting drug tested. They have to lay down and their outline is sort of outlined or saved on the ground. From toe to head it then fills with color seemingly out of nowhere, the colors indicating drug use. The problem I notice (and they donít?) is that this is being tested on everyone at once, so youíre not able to see who it was that tested positive. Iím thinking that Ted will test positive because I smoked with him just the other week. The people notice the color indicating drug use, and it then comes out that it is the coach what has been using marijuana weekly (for pain?). He seems slightly defensive and like he thinks testing for it is stupid. Now, I notice that Iím in only a tan bath towel as I get up. I think there are others here, as I am apparently addressing them as I say/shout something like Ďthere is a war and you might as well accept it.í No one responds, so I feel slightly self conscious but still supportive of what Iíve said.
    14. 8 Feb: Soldiers, alien, lonely researcher, police chase and vampire war

      by , 02-08-2019 at 11:00 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Slipping through an underground garage with someone. We need a trick to distract a security guard, so we attract the attention of another female guard outside and we manage to hide. We walk through a train track and we get caught by soldiers. They don't know us, think we're just lost, so we obey their orders and walk the direction they take us on. But we are on a mission, we have something or we know something and we need to escape. Then some other soldier who identifies us, sees us and starts shooting us all, including the soldiers. He's got a machine gun. I survive by pressing myself against a wall as I watch others going down. I manage to get closer to the soldier and I ambush the guy. I knock his gun out of his hands.

      Giant killer alien outside. One has to move carefully around town. I go to some place but it is not safe. The alien infiltrates the building and we have to be masters of disguise to escape him. A friend of mine has no bones (?).

      I am a researcher at a university. I write a letter to a teacher about a theory I have and want to deliver it in hand. I am a bit afraid of the elevators, so I enter a tower of stairs that leads to the lobby of his department. When I arrive there, there is a bunch of noisy guys coming out of an elevator and I get mingled with them as we walk to the entrance of the department. We need a card or someone to let us in. A man unlocks the door and lets me in. The other guys also want to, but he says one at a time. I arrive to the office of the teacher and he asks me about my theory, but it is a different one from what I want to deliver and she is puzzled. She asks her assistant something and they realize there was some mistake. She was expecting the other guys outside who also had sent some email with some theory and that's the ones she was expecting. They come in. I explain I didn't want to fool anybody, just wanted to hand my letter. She looks at me with contempt but I hand the letter anyway. I am sure once she reads it, she will be just as excited as with these guys' theory, but I don't know if she will even read it. They kick me out. I go back to my dorm room. It actually has great space, several extra beds like bunk bed and sofa bed, I can sleep in different beds everyday, but I clearly have no friends to make use it. It is so sad and pathetic I feel sorry for myself in this life.

      Helping two guys who are being chased by the police. Actually the cops don't know they are two, or three since I'm helping them. They are looking for just one guy, so they keep passing by us and letting us free. We are not simple thieves, it's something for a greater good and the cops are at the service of a corrupt system.

      Walking through some artisans crafts market. Meet Zilla and her friends and tag along. Then meet Riverstone and we all head for a building. We find the elevator not working and two maintenance guys come. One of them is my pre-teen sweetheart Marco, don't know if he recognizes me, so I don't say anything, but he calls me by my name and asks for help. I leave my friends and go help him. He has to dangle from some cables and needs me to push him in a certain way, I help but at some point he swings out of a window and I see him falling to the ground outside. I am terrified to go check on him, but he is fine, just hurt. He fell on something soft, he said he knew it was there since he knew this could happen. I go downstairs and sit on the sidewalk as he recovers from his soreness.
      Zilla and the others are passing by again and also sit to show me some cool things they bought at the market. Lovely boots and glasses, very steampunk. Marco also loves it, he is also into steampunk. As we talk I feel we have so much in common.
      Then some people come take a car that is parked by our side and we notice they have a dent on the side caused by his fall, but we don't say anything.

      Something about a vampire community and a bad vampire that has the power to kill others and is wiping them out. He just blasts some energy field and they are reduced to ashes. And I come to help them, because some of these vampires are my friends. He has two other very strong allies by his side. I get to fight the woman and I find that I can't defeat her, so I just distract her long enough so others can attack the bad vampire in the hope to win. The final fight between us is on top of a cliff by the ocean shore.
    15. 5 Feb: Tv studio, kids drown, leaving London

      by , 02-05-2019 at 09:31 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


      Visiting a tv studio, a lady friend shows me old cameras and other old equipment, shows me a wardrobe she made, very basic stuff, she explains why they don't use normal clothes.

      I am coughing blood.

      At the beach, some kids from somewhere go trough an area of the ocean shore that is full of rocks and get trapped and are drowning. A media circus installs. I wanna go away,

      I am with my friend Zilla in the 40s, we are taking the last cruise ship leaving London just before the war hits. People are very emotional saying bye to us and vice versa.
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