Recent DJ Posts

I’m in a car with my mother, driving down an unfamiliar road towards the house where she's living—it seems that I’ve come here to visit her and will be leaving soon. We aren’t far from the house, but she indicates that I should turn off to the right, where there’s a cemetery. I already have some idea what this is about since I know there’s a grave here that she’s been taking care of. We’ve already visited a couple times during the course of this visit. I turn into the entrance.

Now we’re both walking through the cemetery. It’s a bit overgrown, but a livelier place than you might expect since there are kids running around doing kid things and other people who are here visiting.

Some of the children are decorating the grave we’re headed for. They’re debating over where to put a special artifact—it looks like a small spiral seashell, only brown and lightweight like a cicada skin. Right now, they have it set on the leaf of a flowering plant, but it seems to be bending the leaf back too far.* (At some point, I couldn’t say exactly when, I seem to have become a different person—a friend of my mother’s, a man, maybe in his 40s or older.)

Eventually, somebody gets the idea of calling up the spirits themselves and asking them how they want the grave to look. Now there are a number of them floating around, including one that is just a disembodied hand. They ask it to point to what it wants on the grave—but, unexpectedly, it goes straight for my car keys. Really? But I know I have to give them up now.

But I also know—not from the man’s perspective, but from somewhere outside it—that they are laying claim to the keys because they like him, they think he’s a great guy, and by doing this, they can prevent something bad from happening to him that they know is in his future otherwise. The fact that he is massively inconvenienced in the process is completely incidental.

*Note: I had spent a few hours of the previous day on website design, a lot of which is figuring out how to get thing A to location B without messing anything else up. An interesting parallel here.

2.4.18

Tonight I made a big mistake which was that I forgot to plug in my voice recorder! So, I woke up, and it didn't have any L E D's on. It was because I had to use the plug near my bed for the space heater. So, it didn't record any of my dreams. Luckily, I was able to think of 90% of what I recorded, and write it down as if my life depended on it. They were actually really cool dreams and I'm so glad they weren't totally lost. There were some casualties, and sadly, I may never find out what happened in those. But I am glad for what I got, and I will get new back up batteries. And hopefully not make that mistake again any time soon! I also did a good job of not getting too upset or beating myself up. I just went straight to salvaging the dreams, which is what matters most. And, it is okay to make mistakes while learning. Mistakes are a sign of growing. Remember, be gentle with yourself.

Round 1:
I know I only remembered one or two fragments to begin with anyway. But now I am totally clueless as to what they were. My feelings when I forget a dream are very intense. It feels like something was ripped out of me. Like there is a void in my soul.

Round 2:

I had some trouble falling back to sleep but eventually got there. Where my memory of it starts, I was in this meeting room. (hidden) and another older woman with blonde ish grey hair were there. There were these metal fold up chairs. Someone said how (hidden) and the other woman had smoked. Although I didn’t smell it, I didn’t notice it was a dream (yet). I got mad and started kind of cussing them out for trailing in smoke. I kind of wondered where the scent was, though. As I yelled at them, I kind of got away from them. I forgot if there was any back lash for yelling at them.

At some point I became lucid. I am not sure how. My friend (hidden) was wearing a shirt that said, “Satan hates Lucifer” and it had some wave designs on it, and other symbols. I ask him what it means. (Abruptly switching from past to present tense!) We go up some short flight of steps, up to a little platform before a door. (hidden) is also there with us. I know it is a dream. I stare at the wave design on (hidden)’s(hidden)shirt, which becomes mezmerizing. I have a sense that it is activating something within the dream.

Gradually I appear in my bed, but in “the phase”. Gradually, I feel parts of my body separate. It happens mostly on its own, as if I am being lifted by reverse gravity, but at some points I gently go along with it. I feel some fear. The idea comes to mind that I could think about a place I want to appear, and maybe I will appear there. So I think “beautiful beach” as I float upwards. I am careful not to open my eyes in my room. I want to be in the sky, not just end up in my room. I feel myself pass through the ceiling, and I am up and out.

I slowly open my eyes, kind of blinking at first. Squinting, then fully open. I can see bright stars on a dark navy blue sky. I am in the air. There is some orange glow in the horizon, as if it is a sun rise or sun set. It is really spectacular, and just one of those things that is beyond words. It is hyper realistic. I look down and see I am flying over a beach. I am a little dissappointed because it is just the local beach. It looks to be near or at (hidden) near the tunnel. But hey, I am flying, and there is water, so I can try to enjoy it!

I fly over the water and notice a body of sand to my right. I am actually using a breast stroke swimming motion as I go through the air. I am afraid someone in the physical world will see me, as if I am in a ghost form. As I fly, I also think about what to tell people about it. I feel like I am telling the world about it as I go in some way.

I could have probably flown up to space. I was flying well. But I didn’t think of that. Well, what happened was good anyway.

Looking at the water, I decide to fly into it. (I had been thinking about water dreams a lot the past few days.) When I cross the water’s surface, it becomes dark. Maybe its because I usually close my eyes under water, and I didn’t put on “dream goggles.” I am suddenly scared to feel around, as is what usually happens when I enter water. Then it is brighter than it even was above the water’s surface. I look around and there is a cluster of muscles (shell fish). They look scary and briney. I am scared there will be something scarier. Red boxing gloves also appear, scattered about the ground, underwater, there. That is a little silly. I am fully aware it’s a dream the whole time.

A lot of times, I have had trouble flying back out of water, once I have flown into it. This might be because while flying is for traveling through the air, swimming is really for the water, not flying. However, I usually try to fly back out, and no motion occurs. What I think I need to do is SWIM to the surface, then do an “Up + A” jump like in Mario. In video games, the characters can somehow jump up out of the water from swimming at its surface, without touching any ground. So I basically need to do that, then catch myself before I fall back into the water, and fly up from there. Other times I have got lucky and eventually flown or sprung out, but I’d like to be able to do it more skillfully. Once I was on the ocean floor and a T Rex was running at me. I flew up, but slowed by the water. Eventually I gained speed and bursted up out of the water is if shot by a cannon. But it was close. Of course teleportation would probably also work, or lots of other things.

After letting me experience that for a moment, the dream let me out of the water. I think I briefly woke up, but then the dream took me back to the same location, just on the dry land this time. I heard some voices off to the left, like a child crying. I think there was one more time I woke up for a second, and re appeared at the beach for another second, and woke up again.

But I stayed still, and realized I was in “the phase”. I got the idea to make slight “physical” movements but I think my actual physical body wasn’t moving. It was just that I was generating sensations of movement.

I re appear in the same room that I was in before, where I fought with the smokers, and saw my friend’s shirt. I might have forgot some parts, but not due to the voice recorder power loss. I hadn’t remembered them to begin with.

(hidden) appears. I feel a sense of familiarity with him. I told him I was afraid to forget my dream so far. I still knew it was a dream. He was very understanding. I think we talked some more but I forgot some of it. He kind of appeared as a dream guide I think. I was so sure it was actually him. The thing about shared dreaming is, if you try to ask the person, they might not think the dream happened. But maybe they just didn’t remember! So shared dreaming will appear to be false if you do it with people who aren’t at a super high level of dream recall. Shared dreaming might not be easy to prove, but it might still be happening. I believe in shared dreaming regardless of all the skepticism.

There was a guy there who I knew from the local gym growing up. He has appeared in my dreams at times. I used to be really into weight lifting and the other high level weight lifters always made an impression on me. He was saying how someone should buy their kids cricket, so they could play cricket. And he also said that people should stop smoking. It was such a good feeling to hear someone else agree with me on that. I reached over him to pat him on the shoulder, but managed to get my arm pit in his face in the process. I was like, whoops, now he had to smell my arm pit. That was kind of silly.

(Back to present tense! I would get a bad grade on an English paper!)

Then we are all going outside. I still know it’s a dream. Before we go outside, my orange glasses and a few other familiar items I almost always keep with me in waking life appear. The familiarity is helpful. I pick them all up before going outside.

We all go outside the little building there. I realize that the dream is going to continue, so I decide to tell (hidden) about my dream thus far. Then, an ominous or malevolent prescence is felt. It whips me up like a cyclone, but no one else is lifted up that I can see. I am in a state of non resistance, but I also have the thought that this thing is going to possess me and turn me against all the other people there. They will not see the malevolent force or be aware of it. They will just think it is me, becoming a bad guy, when really it is this dark force taking control of me. That all goes through me head as I am whipped around in this cyclone. I guess a lot of my expectations that come up during dreams, which then go to create the events, come from religious beliefs I was taught growing up. So I see dreaming as a way to kind of practice new more healthier beliefs. I pretty much try to be in a state of non resistance to all the things that occur in the dreams. That is my ideal but a lot of times I have some level of fear or resistance anyway.

Well, I woke up from those. I expected to rush straight to my voice recorder, but when I actually felt myself in my physical bed, no longer in the phase, I realized that was silly. I have to stay still and think it through first! So I did just that, and gradually, slowly but surely, it all came back to me. I don’t meditate a lot in waking life, but I think when I wake up from a dream, and concentrate on recalling it, that’s really the closest thing to real meditation I ever do. There were no blips in dream recall and I am glad because this was my first L D of this caliber in at least a week or two.


Round 3:
I had a little difficult falling back to sleep again, but eventually got there. What a relief.

My dream memory of these starts with me in the (hidden) kitchen. (hidden) was eating some food from a tupperware. Something happened and she seemed to become sad. I found some turkey and cheese in the fridge and decided to make a sandwich. I went out to the garage. I had two toasted pieces of buttered bread. I was putting that together with the turkey and cheese, listening to (hidden)(I didn’t know it was a dream yet.)

I haven’t eaten really any animal products except fish oil for almost 2 years now, so in the dream, I was kind of wondering why I was about to eat this turkey. I took a bite anyway. It felt like biting into a baseball glove sandwich. I bit down harder and tasted some salty turkey, but still it was tough. Then I realized that the turkey might be old. I went into the kitchen to check the date on the package, but couldn’t find it. I got mad. I was like, “WTF?! Where’s the packaging?” Kind of yelling.

As I went through the fridge, I saw that my Dad had really stocked up on green vegetables. There was even a big duffel bag on the right hand side of the middle shelf. I was like, they sell groceries in duffel bags now? But generally impressed with my Dad’s vegetable selection. I also remember standing at the kitchen counter, afraid I would actually get some energy from the turkey, and become an animal eater again. I got a bad sinking feeling from losing my streak of pseudo-veganism, like the feeling of realization I have sometimes felt after falling off my diet or off the wagon. Luckily it was just a dream! I also felt bad because I thought it was for my Dad’s lunch.

I probably forgot some other stuff. I think there was a major flying part where I phased through a window and flew, but the dream was super long. I think there was also a part where we were at a beach, which also happened again later.

The next part I clearly remember is hearing a guy say that he doesn’t listen to a lot of youtube or spiritual talks but Facebook is what puts him in Zen mode. I actually set my facebook to delete some time within the last 2 weeks and so I think it was a reminder to see if I am really sure about deleting it. I thought it was interesting that someone could see how facebook puts them in “Zen Mode” when I always saw it as a distraction. Well, I could always start over on facebook, if I really wanted.

That transitioned to a meeting with my Mom, some African American people and some Caucasian people. I forgot what they were saying, but I think it was from some “I’m having a boy!” V Logs I watched the previous day.

At some point I realized it was a dream. I was with family, which probably came from seeing family on Easter. It was like they wouldn’t let me go, but I wanted to go do my own thing. I ran away, telling myself, “It’s not really them! It is just a dream!” (Switching to present tense.) I run down the hall of this building, hearing my Aunt (hidden) call after me. I see the door for me to press open at the end of the hall. Then, there is a glass window, maybe two foot tall by one foot wide. Instead of opening the door, I attempt to phase through the window. I am very surprised when it works! And I am up in the sky once again.

The sky is blue this time. More like daytime. I realize that my family members might run after me and look up, seeing me in flight. So I fly up onto the roof where I will be out of sight.

I knew it was a dream, but I am not sure what my action means. I usually try to give the “benefit of the doubt” to the dream figures that they might be my actual family and such, and treat them with equal respect. Running out on them and flying wouldn’t align with that ideal. But I have not always gotten along with my family that great so maybe I had enough from the holiday and needed to be on my own. (I haven’t always gotten along with anyone that great!)

There might have been some other stuff I forgot. I was in and out of lucidity. I was talking to someone before a meeting started. Switch to present tense. The meeting is beginning. Someone wants to smoke. Another group member informs them that they have to go far from the building to do so. They reply, “Aw, man, I have to miss the beginning.” And leave. Another fellow, who will appear again later, is smoking an Electronic Cigarette. My blood boils. “You smokers better keep your bleeping mouths shut,” I say. We sit as if to meditate. I am about to close my eyes when I notice a fellow to my right, lighting a cigarette, right there in the middle of the group. I rip the cigarette and lighter out of his mouth and mash my palm into his nose.

Afraid of retaliation, I get up to leave. I continually check if anyone is chasing me, but no one is. I walk out this hall way made of all glass. When I get outside, I see (hidden), or someone I call (hidden) in my mind. He is at the top of an escalator, which seems to be my way “home”. Two guys get in my way though, and try to block me. I explain that I have been dreaming so long, and I just want to go home. (A lot more happened than I was even able to remember. This was a LONG dream. I think the earlier parts of flying and being at the beach that I forgot were HUGE, but just too much to recall at once. I usually try to stay in the dream as long as I can anyway though, even though I’m aware sometimes too long a dream leads to forgetting parts. I hear about people waking themselves up prematurely so they don’t forget it, but I can’t see myself doing that. )

I wash up on the beach thing again. I am on a life raft with (hidden) and a woman about my age. She has dark hair and she is pretty. I am aware she smoked an electronic cigarette earlier in the dream, but I am still really attracted to her. I know it’s a dream anyway. (I would be very careful not to kiss anyone who has ingested substances like nicotene or other drugs or alcohol in waking life, since it would be in their saliva or blood stream, and I don’t want it in my system. So this is on my mind in the dream.) She seems to like me too, and I decide to kiss her, because it doesn’t seem like her nicotene will be transmitted to my physical blood stream within the dream. (hidden)When I got back into the dream, I was still washing up onto the beach thing. I had to save the woman. The water was a cartoonish blue. The tide was coming up fast. (hidden) pushed two cans into the sand to make a marker for where the tide was. I worried we would have nothing to drink. I had a glass jar. I caught this little shark thing in the glass jar. It was just a little longer than the jar. I figured this would give us food or water or both. I touched the shark thing and it was really sharp, like it was made of knives. There were a bunch more of these sharp sharks swimming by the shore, and so I ran out of there even faster. Someone, I think it was (hidden), released the shark at one point. I kind of wanted to keep it, but moved on. I think my lucidity level was fluctuating and I wasn’t exercising much dream control if any.

When we got up to the high tide mark, the water had pretty much followed us all the way there. There was a big moving truck on the beach that we could use as shelter. A guy was going into it to rest. I saw the guy I had told off in the previous meeting with the smokers. Not the guy whose face I mashed but the guy who had the E cigarette. I felt like the dream was never going to let me go until I sort of took it easy on the smokers. It would keep putting me back through some exposure to smokers, then wash me up on the beach after I attacked them again, until I broke the cycle by just taking it easy on them.

(Switch to present tense.) I look into the guy’s eyes and they are sky blue. They also have purple splotches. I am really struggling to get words out. It is like my pride is symbolized in the dream as an extreme strain to say the words to the guy. It sounds like I am heaving to breathe or something. But I am trying to say that I am sorry and explain that I have to apologize to break free of the dream cycle we are currently in. The guy says I don’t have to apologize, but I insist. (I think that was the second time I had that type of difficulty speaking within the dream.)

I realize its still “my” dream and I don’t have to stay here. I demand more time with the woman from before. The dream complies immediately, but I sense there is more to it than that. The woman is up in my face ready to fight. I am like, oh, man, this is going to be different. At first, I’m not happy with it. I could even see it going nightmarish. The woman’s lips become like big green Piccolo lips with razor teeth. Her face does some other kinds of morphs. When I accept the dream’s will, it shifts again, and the woman and I become power stars like in Mario, but not the exact shape. We fly around like it’s a video game, running into monsters and blowing them up. Points appear like in Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. It isn’t what I expected, but its kind of cool. Actually its beyond my wildest dreams! We fly up over this railing on a platform and into a corridor.

Then I had a false awakening of dream journaling or telling someone about the dream. I was mainly describing how in the dream, I had hardly any pride blocking me from making an apology, like I do in waking life. That was very transformative to even feel what that could be like. Then, I was describing how I accepted the dream’s will after I had asserted my own and been sort of played a joke on. And how it shifted again to something we both liked. I felt like I had recorded most of the beginning of the dream.

Then this movie started to play. I thought it was an actual dream recorder, and it was playing a part of the recording of my dream to me. But that part didn’t seem familiar. I just figured I better pay attention so I could record it, not knowing it was still a dream. I felt so overwhelmed by how long the dream was.

The dream movie showed these three police officer guys on top of a bus thing. They all had cannons. (hidden)I woke up from that. I knew I was in my physical bed for sure, and the reality of how long the dream was hit me hard. I did my best to think through it, one detail at a time. Luckily, I didn’t need the bathroom, so I could stay perfectly still for a long time. Eventually I moved a little and flicked my voice recorder on, not knowing it had run out of battery, and hadn’t been plugged in! Luckily, the intensity of the dream, and the effort I put into intially recalling it, caused me to still remember it enough to type it as soon as I realized the technology hadn’t been on. I will never know if I left anything out. It seems like a complete recollection of what I initially remembered, but I will never know! So I have to be careful in the future, and make sure it always has fresh batteries in it.


Round 4:

I was in and out of these dreams, recording a few sentences, and falling back asleep. So, I lost some of the earlier parts. No clue what they were! I really wonder.

There was a part where I was playing in a Mario platformer. There was some kind of ice level. I got Mario to do a “wall jump” as he was sliding down between two green tubes, about to fall off the stage. I was surprised it actually worked, then kept it up. Then I had to go down this Bowser Slide thing. Bowser was sliding down with me. He said, “Only 25 feet to go. Hop onto me!” So I jumped on him and his spikes hurt me. I also slid off the slide onto the abyss once, re spawned, and got to the end of the slide. That was more like S M 64.

In the next part, I was going through some rooms. I needed to go #1 within the dream but not in waking life. The (hidden) hall monitor lady from my high school came in and I couldn’t go #1. The room had this big circle thing in the center. (hidden)

I walked around the circle thing and my orange glasses appeared there. I didn’t know it was a dream.

I woke up from that and recorded it, too. Or, at least thought I did. Then I fell back asleep and continued going through the rooms. I had to find something to stir my spinach shake. In the next room was a giant and very dangerous looking knife. It looked like our main steak knife but bigger and sharper. There was a guard there and a king type of character. I referred to the king as “His highness” to the guard, asking if I could use the knife to stir my shake. It was in a tub of soap water. The answer was no, but I found a fork that would work just as well, without the danger. I also asked the guard if “his highness” could tell me whether all the doors in this castle were “warp rooms”. I said that I didn’t really need to know, since it was a dream. The funny thing is, I don’t think I was lucid. But still, I said that.

Notes:
I was surprised to be reminded of a detail about Round 2 I had totally forgotten by a later dream detail. I haven’t had to type this much in a while since I decided to just keep all my notes in the voice recorder, which is easier for me, and then type small summaries if I really want to. Forcing myself to type this today reminded of what it was like when I used to type every detail of every dream, every day. Rigorous! But today, I had to do it, before all was lost. It took me hours to type all this. If I had to go into a job today, I would have called in and said, “Hey, boss, sorry, I can’t come to work today. My dream notes didn’t make it to my voice recorder so I have to type them all up.” It was 4,788 words!

After using several strategies to try to improve dream recall like changing my alarm sound, sleeping in, drinking lots of water, etc. I was able to remember 4 dreams last night! I think that is the most I have ever remembered.

1. Going home
This dream might have been partially a repressed memory from when I lived in Korea but it took place in a church I used to go to often in Korea. I remember thinking "I will go home soon" and I was talking to some guys about my plane trip to the United States. The two guys were not really listening to me they were just laughing and joking and playing weird music. I can't remember much about this dream, I don't even remember what the music sounded like I just remember it was strange music.

2. Games and car problems
In this dream I was at my parents' house playing a game on the computer with my dad. I remember I was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt (I usually remember clothes in a dream). I was on the computer upstairs which is strange because usually my dad plays on that computer, and I play downstairs either on the other computer or on my school laptop that I bring home. But this time it was swapped. I can't remember what the game was but I think it might have been some kind of first person shooter. Anyways I think we were winning when my mom came into the room and said that the pickup truck wasn't starting. I told her to go downstairs and ask dad because I don't know much of anything about cars, but she insisted I came too, so we all went outside. One of my brothers was already outside and he talked to us about something. I woke up after that.

3. Rice for the old man
So this dream started in the living room of my parents' house and I was sitting in a room with my mom and youngest sister. I was wearing a dark green skirt and a black blouse, clothes I don't even own in waking life, and my sister was sitting on the floor for some reason. My mom said that she wished there was something we could do for the old man (not a real person) down the street, he was very poor and his wife passed away. She took a picture of him out of her purse and showed it to us. I wonder how these strange events did not trigger a lucid.

Typical of my little sister, she suggested that we go to the gas station and buy something for him. So we all got in my mom's car and drove to the gas station. When we walked in the cashier greeted us and we smiled and said hello, but my sister and I quickly walked to the back of the store. Oddly enough we found that the gas station was selling bags of rice. My sister knows how much I like cooking with rice so she said "Julie we should get one bag for the old man and one bag for us!"

I agreed so she went to ask my mom to buy it and I grabbed the rice. For some reason the rice bags were open at the top, so I tied them shut with the loose string on the bags and took them to the cashier. The bags were pretty heavy. As we were getting in the car again I woke up. It's too bad, I really wanted to see the man's reaction when we gave him the rice.

4. Abominable Snowman village
This was definitely one of my more vivid and specific dreams. In this dream I was the adopted daughter of two Chinese parents, a taller man and a shorter woman, both of whom looked relatively old, much older than my real parents at least. At the beginning of the dream I did not know they were Chinese, I just knew I was adopted because I am white and they are asian. So I started in a false awakening and I got out of bed and looked out the window. I was in a very arctic looking environment, and there was a very small town, I suppose you could call it a village, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. I remember thinking that the place we lived was really beautiful, snow covered hills with mountains and trees on the distance, it was that "winter wonderland" you imagine when you hear the song.

I put on jeans and a red t-shirt, and I went outside of my small room into the main room/kitchen type room of our house. Our house was very small and it had 3 bedrooms and a kitchen. I don't remember a bathroom in the house haha. Luckily I never needed it so I don't know what the deal with that was. I don't remember feeling cold at this point in the dream, but we must have not had a heater because breath was visible as we each spoke. Also my mother was wrapped in a warm blanket while she made breakfast. I walked into the room and my brother (he didn't look like either of my real brothers) was already sitting down at the table with my father. Mother had made eggs and bacon with hot chocolate for all of us. We had a conversation at the table but I don't remember what we talked about at all. Eventually I decided to go outside and travel the area alone. I never put on a coat, now that I think about it.

Eventually I met up with a friend and she said that she heard noises from a nearby mountain and wanted to check it out. I went with her to the place to find a cave. She approached the cave first and a huge hairy giant came out of the cave and hit her. The hit sent her flying and she landed in the snow about 20 yards away. I remember thinking she was dead. I saw a giant animal, somewhat like a wolf, come out and go toward the place where my friend had landed. I quickly ran behind a hill and laid down, covering myself in snow so the giant and the wolf wouldn't find me. It was so cold under the snow. I waited until it sounded like they had left, and then I dug myself out of the snow. I saw them going toward my town so I quickly ran back to town.

I ran into town and noticed a lot of commotion in a building in the middle of the town, sort of like a town hall. As I came into the building I saw dead bodies strewn across the halls. Looking at the scene made my tummy hurt a bit. Anyway I also noticed that someone had been able to kill the giant wolf. The whole place was shaking every step the giant took, so I went into a big hall that was probably used for eating in large groups, and found the giant running around. For some reason I decided it was a good idea to go try to talk to him. When I got closer I realized he was crying and I told him to try and calm down, that it would all be okay. He said something about how his anger got the best of him and he got really violent, and that terrible things happened whenever he got mad because he was too big and strong. I tried to relate to him. I told him "I understand having huge feet I feel like my feet are freakishly huge and I just want to hide them. It is hard for me to buy shoes at the store because my feet are so big."

This didn't help much, I don't know what I was thinking. He said "at least you can wear shoes" and pointed to his feet. His feet had that shoe size measuring ladder you see on the foot measurers at stores tattooed on the top of his foot, and it didn't even go halfway to his toes. His feet were really ugly too which I guess reminded me that my own feet are perfectly fine.

Suddenly my brother came from out of nowhere and used this distraction to tackle the giant. I just ran out of the room and in the kitchen of the building I found my mother. She was crying and she told me that she needed to tell me something just in case she has to go away. She told me that she and my father were Chinese spies and that they were assigned to this area to find the giants. I asked her "why didn't you guys ever teach us Chinese?" This made me realize I was dreaming, as she was not my real mother, and I remembered my interest in language from waking life, and how I knew Korean but not Chinese. She responded to me but I was just thinking about how I was dreaming. At this point I woke up.

Jed and I were laying down on the couch watching tv. We were all cuddled up together. He leanes over and cradles my face and starts kissing me tenderly. He then got on top of me and was barely pressing up against my skin when he said," I need to tell you something. I'm gay." I sat up and squinted my eyes at him. "Wait, what? You mean we've slept together how many times and you're gay?" He stared at me and I looked away confused. Then I wake up.

The dream scene is an office building. The idea is that this is my first day of work at the accounting firm I'll be working for this upcoming fall. Someone shows me to my desk which is in this transitional hallway that is sloping downwards and to the left. I'm very excited to see my desk. To the left of it is another desk with a white piece of paper with red sharpie writing "coleman g." which is an old friend of mine. Further down is a desk with his sister's name on it. I forgot she actually works at the accounting firm. I sit down and there's now a boss next to me playing on a computer. I look and see it's actually a music program called Ableton that I use to create music. This excites me so I tell him that I use that program too. Coleman's sister shows me that she has it up on her computer too.

Before waking up, I had a hallucination of a train coming closer. The 'frame' of the train moving reset every second, snapping back to its original position, like in a time loop. A bit later, I learned I could manipulate time and push the train backwards (or make it drive back as time is reversed).

I was standing in a street at a house my family used to live (not). The house was gone and replaced with other, newer houses. A more 'urban' area a bit further down the road (which I recalled had shops and businesses) was also gone and had been suburbanized.

I was with my mom and dad, walking in a forest. We were following my grandpa, who was a good 100 feet in front of us. I suddenly realized he's supposed to be dead. I tell my dad this, who says he sensed grandfather's presence a few days earlier, and after he made a typical grandpa joke, he was sure it was him. We kept following him down the path, but the path and environment started to change. A forest became a burning horizon, and the dirt and leaves of the forest roads turned to smoldering embers. We were walking into Hell. I didn't think too much of it, though. I tried to use my phone camera to record our descent into Hell, which worked (to my surprise). We came up on two buildings. Big farmhouses, but they were old, abandoned and partially overgrown with creepy, unnatural vines. A feeling of intense evil emanated from those buildings. I followed grandpa into one of them. It started to dawn onto me that something wasn't right. There were things he couldn't know, but did (something involving melons on the ground, don't ask). But when he said something sinister in a devilishly evil voice (couldn't see him when this happened), we were all like 'yup, it isn't him', and we noped out of there immediately. What followed was an attempt to escape Hell the way we came. But the path on which we arrived was now covered in logs (?) and we had to climb over them. There was also a ceiling somehow, so we had to crawl through on our stomachs. I looked sideways and saw the demonic face of what used to be my grandfather looking at me. I tried to shield myself from it, as I think it had some kind of ranged attack. Then someone talked to me and said it was a scene from a scary movie.

Still in the hellverse, at the end of a completely unrelated scene. Someone triggered something, causing demons to break out. I tried to escape to the other side of the map (it was a game) by using glitches and walking on top of walls. Once on the other side of the map (where I'd come from), I saw the demon approach me super fast. I realized it was rubberbanding and I wasn't supposed to run away from it. Instead of attacking me, it gives me something. Something with three colors (red, blue and green) that I was supposed to balance? A key?

The next unrelated scene, still in Hell. We were exploring some kind of stone large structure. It looked like an altar, or temple. While exploring a dark room, people started vanishing. I felt an evil presence. We returned outside, to the altar/temple, which turned out to be some kind of huge teleportation stone, a gate between Hell and reality. We were all (dozens of people) gathered on the stone, and around it. I remember hanging from the stone, calling for help and being ignored, and eventually dropping down, walking around and climbing back onto the stone a bit further. Someone used their phone to call someone, and tell them to teleport them back to reality. A voice, representing Hell, answered and said it wasn't up to them to decide if we could leave or not. But then, people started vanishing in rapid succession. I was seeing in third person how I vanished as well. So I was gone, but 'still there'. I saw my family, as it used to be in the 'good old days' (including my younger self), and a voice said they were declared the winners (and cleared to leave Hell).

2018, 04-02

The Dark Tower – Jake’s Drawing

I am in a forest. I am with a couple of other people. I am Arya. I am with two boys, although they look to be a bit older than I think I am. One of them I know as Gendry, the other one goes by unlikely name of Hot Pie. We are traveling through a forest, it is daytime out but underneath all of the trees it is somewhat dark. We seem to be having a disagreement about where we should be going. We finally decide to check on the road and see which way it is going. We have been avoiding the road to try to avoid trouble. We aren’t sure if someone might be after us. As we get closer to the road, we hear the sound of horses on it. We do not want to be seen. I look around and I see what looks like an abandoned house. That should be a good place to hide out. I tell the others that, but they don’t seem to believe me. Hot Pie seems to think he would be better off up a tree. Gendry looks up and decides that isn’t a good plan, so he finally decides to follow me to the house.

Gendry and I sneak in through a broken door on the back. Gendry wants to know what we should do if the people on the road spot Hot Pie. I am not sure how to respond to that. I tell Gendry that maybe we can find some food left in the house. Gendry goes into what looks like it used to be a kitchen and starts looking through cabinets. I go through a different door and find what looks like once was a living room. I feel something land of my head. I reach up to get it off, and I discovered that it is a mutant tarantula that is about the size of a softball. I don’t get easily freaked out by spiders, but this one seems especially gross. I threw it to the ground in repulsion. I look around and see more of the spiders crawling along the floor and on the ceiling. I turn around and go back the way I came. I don’t know if those spiders might be venomous, so I don’t want to get bit. I go back into the kitchen where Gendry went.

I have found the kitchen again, but Gendry is nowhere to be seen. I wonder where he could’ve gone? I look around the kitchen and then I go into the next room to see if Gendry continued exploring. I enter and I find a boy, but it is not Gendry. It is a young boy, he looks younger than Gendry. The boy stops short when he sees, and he asks who I am? I am not sure how to answer that. The boy says he hadn’t expected to find anyone else here. When I don’t respond, he says his name is Jake. I blurt out, are you there Jake looking for Roland of Gilead? He says yes, how did I know that? I look at my reflection in a dirty glass case. I am definitely still Arya. I tell Jake that I don’t think I’m really supposed to be here, but I will help if I can. I tell him my name is Arya since I figure he won’t know that name anyhow. We continue looking through the house. Jake is looking for a locked door which he has a key.

A man enters from another room. He looks familiar, I realize that it is MoSh. He says we don’t want to go into the room he just left, it’s full of venomous snakes. Jake seems quite surprised at the situation, he hadn’t expected to find anyone here and it’s turning into a crowd. We continue down the hall and go through a door at the end of it. That door leads into a very large room. Just this room is larger than the abandoned house I walked into as Arya. It looks like it might be a ball room. There is a somewhat creepy wallpaper on all the walls of elves dancing. They may have been intended to be cute, but they’re really more disturbing. We cross the room to a pair of double doors on the other side. These doors lead to another hallway. At the end of the hall is a door with a bright shiny lock panel on it. Jake is certain that is the door he has the key for.

As we enter the hallway, there is a loud noise behind us. We all turn around in time to see some kind of monster emerging from the wall. The wall itself seems to of come to life and it is now met a more for sizing into a strange creature. That’s strange creature looks a bit like an evil clown. There is an elf still on its forehead that seems to be actually dancing now. MoSh tells Jake to focus on getting through that door, we can keep the monster back. I wonder if he knows who I am? Apparently he seems to. The monster is now itself across the room on one huge malformed arm. MoSh has a pair guns look like Roland’s from the Dark Tower. I check my possessions and find out I have a sword. I hear Jake drop a curse and turned to look. Jake is now on the floor peering through a crack. I am about to ask what happened, but MoSh and I get distracted right away. The monster is throwing things at us. It is throwing debris in our direction. MoShs guns are firing small explosive rounds. Those are able to knock the flying junk right out of the air.

A second arm is coming out of the floor right next to me. I turn the sword on it and all of the fingers off. I hazard to look back and I see that Jake talking on one of the boards in the floor then he suddenly stops and switches to the one next to it that Bork comes up easily. Jay reaches through and grabs. Apparently he dropped it. Now that he has the key again, Jake is down the hall and shoves the key into the lock on the door. The door swings open, and on the other side of the door there is only solid ground. MoSh tells me to look out, and I realized I cut hand has reformed and is reaching for me again. I use my sword and once again off all the fingers. I think that is pissing the thing off. I glance back down the hall and I see that the door is open now. Roland is coming through, though he briefly pauses when he sees MoSh and me. He motions to us to come and stay low. Both MoSh and I head down the hall, ducking low. Roland says to let it go now, and it looks like he throws something big and invisible down the hall. I feel the wind it passing over my head and it crashes directly into the monster coming into the hall behind us. Roland helps Jake climb through / up out of the door, then he looks at me but I just levitate through the door. MoSh is close behind me.

Once we are all out the door slams shut behind us. The door was in the ground, which explains the confusion of direction as I came through. One minute I was floating forward and then I was hovering over the ground at a weird angle… It is also raining quite hard and the entire area is covered in mud. I see there is a circle of stones standing around us that looks like a smaller version of Stonehenge. The door we just came through dissolves into a drawing in the mud which washes out in the rain. But Jake has been brought through safely. Roland looks at MoSh and then at me. He says he hadn’t been expecting Jake to have a friend there… I am thinking of telling him who I am but before I can I see everything getting weird, like a scene in Assassin’s Creed. The scene falls apart and then reforms into the house I had been in with Gendry. Gendry comes through a door and asks where I disappeared to. I tell him I was looking through the house. Gendry says the horse riders have passed by and not noticed any of us, even that idiot Hot Pie perched in his tree. I follow Gendry back outside and then I wake up.