lucid

I WILD and am in my bedroom, and I go through the garage to get outside. The blackness makes the dream less stable, but when I get out of the garage I fly in the streets, and I jump over the houses to a new town. I jump again, and figure out that I can imagine a pressure in my feet pushing me up, and I fly high up near a building wall with graffiti. I fly over the night time city.

But the dream begins again in my bed, and I go up the stairs this time and out the door. I fly over the buildings again, but this time I fly so high that I rise above the clouds and fly faster than the rotation of the earth to get to a daytime timezone. I fly into the mountains, and I try to find hikers. However, the dream ends because noise from real life wakes me up.

2017, 10-09

Woman of Shadows

I am in a house I don’t recognize. It looks like a haunted house of some kind. I also have the idea I need to find someone in there. I start exploring. Everything is creepy, there are strange noises all around me and I keep seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye that are moving but seem to disappear when I look right at them. I am also hearing strange whispering that I can’t quite understand. I’m not sure if the whispering isn’t loud enough or if it’s in a foreign language. I enter a living room with a couch and a flat screen television. The television has static on it with strange voices coming from it like some half received station. There is a couch there and I see a woman standing in shadow over near a doorway. She looks up at me and has a really strange looking grin on her face. In an instant she is then directly in front of me as if she’s trying to scare me. When I don’t scare she gets a scowl on her face and disappears with a loud shriek.

I know who I think that was… it has been Asuka, but either she was taking Halloween too seriously or something was seriously wrong. I call out to her, telling her to come back and I will help her. I get no response so I keep searching. I go down a long hallway with mirrors that do not reflect me, instead they show weird creatures crawling on the floors, walls, and ceiling of the hallway. I can’t tell what they are. I form a little ball of light energy around my hand and then use the mirror to reach out and touch the spot where one of the creatures is. There is a shriek of pain and it disappears as if it was burned. I continue down the hall and the door at the end opens on its own. I go through and it slams closed behind me. Now I see cloaked images all around me, floating around in circles around me. I think it’s supposed to be disorienting, but I gather a sphere of light energy and they all disappear as if they were nothing more than shadows.

There’s another hall, and there is strange writing on the walls in glowing paint. I don’t recognize the words or symbols though somehow I know it’s supposed to be a warning. I ignore that an continue, calling out to Asuka still. I enter an office at the end of this hall and Asuka is standing in the middle of the room… sort of. She looks more like a poorly received television signal or a glitched computer graphic. She doesn’t even seem to see me at all. She is looking around as if we were surrounded by something I can’t see. I go over to Asuka and take hold of her hand, now she notices me. I focus healing light energy through her and that makes the strange glitched effect go away. No she is standing here with me and really seeing me as if for the first time tonight. She says the demon’s name is Valek. When I look puzzled she says that’s the demon’s name, and having its name will give us power over it.

Asuka points to a black spot on the floor in the middle of the room and says that’s where the corruption begins. I call out the name Valek and command the demon to show itself. The demon appears above the circle looking really pissed. Asuka says he’s angry, but I can already see that. The demon looks a little like a bull with fire coming from its nostrils and it is glaring at me. I tell the demon to be gone from here and never return. Valek says I do not belong here. I say the demon is the one that doesn’t belong here… and now this ends. I use the song Enter Sandman by Metallica to create a vortex of light energy around the demon and ends with a large explosion of light energy that banishes all shadows in the room and passes through the walls to cleanse what’s outside. I look over at Asuka and she smiles before I wake up.

Dreams from October 8 to 9, 2017

This was one of my first Lucids of considerable length, toward the end. It was pretty exciting and encouraging.

Round 1 of Dreams

My Sister is over for a visit. I am trying to copy paste 4 columns. Something becomes too Satanic and I stop. I am in the downstairs bathroom deciding. Satan has a darth Maul face. Guy in T C G One-ish chat room asking me to play, and if I will eat these cookies. I hear I say no. I try to explain that I can't due to addiction. I hear the word "cigarette" and I see smoke coming in. It seems to be coming through a sealed door. What does it mean? Dream sign: Seeing smoke but not smelling it. I get upset. There are two faced Eckhart Tolle masks.

Round 3 of Dreams

There is lots of nasty water on the floor. Cleaning loads of nasty dishes with (removed by me). Stack of lost cell phones. (removed by me)So tired now. I think something woke me up. I feel some terror. Tired.

Round 4 of Dreams
(removed by me)Dream sign: Mom and Dad being together.
(removed by me)Something so scary, I can't pay attention.

(removed by me)


I am awake now. Dammit, I am awake now. I wonder if I should try to D J or just go back to sleep. I am so tired. I hear the noise of a plane overhead. I am angry.

Round 5 of Dreams: Justified Timetude, L D

I become lucid by paying attention to some written words. In my physical body, I am laying on my front. I start to have a dual body awareness of being in my bed, on my front, but also eating these chicken drum sticks at the same time, laying in my front. I worry that moving my arms will wake me up, but then I realize it is actually a dream. (removed by me)

I am eating chicken drum sticks out of big yellow and green bowls in the kitchen. There are thighs and wings in there, in a brown sauce. I am enjoying them. Eventually my Dad says they are old and I kind of throw them out or move on from eating them. I am eating the ones in the green bowl even though it is tipped over. I realize they could be months old.
(removed by me)

I'm at the kitchen sink, trying to do reality checks and stay lucid, and not wake up. I am worried about running out of time, or the dream ending. I affirm, "I HAVE INFINITE TIME!" while looking at the brown counter top. This seems to help.

Mom's Milanos are on the table. Woo hoo! I am excited about all this dream food. I am eating some. They are very soft. I want to save some for her.

I decide to make more of the dream. I picture the local market in my mind. I figure I will walk around the block, and go eat anything I want.

My Mom is in the living room. She is standing near the couch. She looks sad. I am pretty driven to get to the market, so I don't interact with her much. (I felt bad about this upon awakening.) She has a part of a pop tart in her hand.

The ceiling above the couch near the bay window is dripping. I am worried and want to fix it. Then I just let it go. I do move some stuff out of the way of the drip though. There is one orange vase I do something with.

Even within the dream, I have a sense of only having limited money. I want to ask if my Mom wants anything, but I think that will limit me from getting what I want.

As I think of leaving the house, I am aware that anything could happen in the dream. I could run into someone at the store. It could be a wild dinosaur world out there. That makes me hesitate to leave.



I also wrote that the bed changed places at least 3 times.

I think the idea of going to the market gave me a lot of anxiety within the dream.

In my room, I see an app on my phone called Justified Timetude. It has a battery icon but one of the sides is slanted. There is a percentage full bar in there that shows it being about half way, with half being green and half being black.

I think I remember seeing my desk underneath the window in my room. What I definitely remember is opening the window, punching out the screen window, and kind of rolling out to the front of the house. Then, I guess I got scared and ran back in through the front door, and back around to my room. Some of the sequence seems jumbled. I used to do the dream journals in more of a stream of consciousness format, without as much regard for the sequence. Now when I think through it in my head, I sequence it in my mind, before recording it.

I wake up saying, "I am still..." Because I think I was saying, "I am still dreaming", to myself in the dream.

Notes

It seemed like my Fii Write file cut off in the middle of a word. Was some of the original document lost? I hope not. It was only 4:15 A M when I finished that D J entry so there could have been room for one more.

Extended lucid dream sequence (I manage to stabilise the dream, And get laid!)

I'm on the top of a buss that's hurtling down a muddy road,that's slippery and filled with water at points. We're hurtling down, and I'm right on top of the bus. Hanging on precariously, yet stably.

The driver has to press his brakes at various times, but appears to be driving safe enough not to hit people.

Then I see gorgeous giant (naked?) women. Walking past. They all look exactly the same.

The next scene I remember is I'm in what looks like a classroom with all these ladies who look exactly the same. The story comes out that they were one person, condemned to death and are now stuck on our world, and have slit into dozens of clones in the process.

The next scene goes back to another place, where a friend of mine named Adam has seen one of these clones as he was walking up. Adam's a player and I wonder, probably assume, he's already slept with her.

Then something shakes. Adam, who's now me, go to look for it. It's a tiny black package that we had packed a dead doll into. It breaks open and this super hot clone pops out. It's like we already know each other, and we begin to take each others clothes off. This is when I get LUCID.

I don't want to make any sudden movement. It's somehow more important to me to have the dream stabilised, than to have sex. Of course, being me, I want the dream stabilised so I can have sex. Instead of trying to have sex, get excited and lose the dream.

So in previous dreams, I didn't look at the details, thinking if I looked too closely, the dream would dissolve. But I looked at a few dream stabilisation techniques yesterday, and they said feel everything, smell everything, engage your senses so you get fully immersed in the dream world.

I'm amazed at the level of detail. I see one of my blue shirts hanging on the wall, and can see the interweaving threads. I can feel every nuance in the fabric.

I go back to the Undead Zombie Alien Hottie (Uzah). I lie back on the bed, and she takes her clothes off. I'm in a hurry. I'm afraid I'll wake up before popping my lucid dream virginity. She takes her clothes off and slides onto me. It feels amazing, as good, or even better than real sex. We get jiggy for a while and I think, hey, lets have dream bum love. I put my finger up her bum, and it just feels so real. She seems to be agreeable to the bum love. So I turn her over doggy style and am about to enter her, when I get soft, and can't do it.

I don't stick around, and keep exploring the dream environment. I go into the next room, and see my friend with his wife and kid. And I start to take my clothes off - getting a bit crazy in a dream to see where it goes. But I think, nope dont go too crazy in case the dream dissolves, dont go ahead with it.

I look into his fridge and I try to remember what I see to see if it coincides with his kitchen in RL. But thinking about it now, it looks nothing like his kitchen or house at all.

I'm still using all my senses, touching the items in the fridge, feeling them, breathing the air in.

I go back into the bedroom and see Uzah, and she looks so beautiful lying in bed, that I think about having intimate cuddle sex with her. She's super tall and I think about our limbs entwining. But another friend of mine comes into the room wanting, of all things toothpaste. I walk over into the bathroom and find some toothpaste to give him.

I come back into the room and look out of the window and I see a huge lawn with people, and a flying pyramid shaped cage just floats in and sits on the grass. I walk down to the lawn and among the people. I already want to have dream sex again, but there's no one attractive enough. I walk around the lawn, feeling the grass, and then look up to see where my room is where i came from and wonder if I'll be able to get back in there.

I think I'll enter the hotel rooms and find a beautiful girl to flirt and bonk.

They say this is what you start doing when you lucid dream. Attempt to have a lot of dream sex and I think it's just a waste of time. Then again, I popped my lucid dream cherry and almost had dream bum love and doesn't honestly feel like a waste of lucid dream time to me, when I was just exploring my dream environment in my previous ones.

I attempt to climb the stairs, and instead of going the long way around (which I will in future dreams, as controlling dream limbs is sometimes difficult and the dream can easily dissolve).

I'm climbing up the garden and it gets precarious, and its hard to control my dream limbs. But I remember previously, that it was hard to control my dream limbs and I woke up. So this time, I feel the grass, the mud, the flowers, to immerse myself in the 'reality'\ of the dream environment.

I then take a step that seems pretty daring to me (in terms of risk of dream dissolving terms) as I roll down the muddy garden steps instead of walking down them.

The dream is stable enough. I go on, up the stairs into the first floor. The domestic doesn't want me there and points me towards the reception desk. I wait for him to move and then start peeking into rooms. I see couples, a beautiful brown skinned girl who looks like she thinks I'm cute, bashfully lifts her shoulders as she runs past me, I see another room where a couple are having sex with each other, and theres another guy in there having a conversation with the guy in the couple. Both the guys look at me as I stand outside the door. I walk on into the end of the corridor, and see a filthy room that has a guy sleeping on the bed, and another guy standing in the corner.

I wonder about where to go next, and as I'm vacillating the dream dissolves. Lesson learnt to always keep moving in dreams.

So yep, despite my intention not to try school night lucid dream attempts, I still set a reminder to go off at 2am saying 'You are dreaming', and it worked as I was repeatedly checking all through my dreams if I really was dreaming.

My goals of stabilsing a dream (really look into every sensory element of the dream, touch, taste, smell, even temperature), having dream sex, and an extended lucid dream, re-stabilising the dream at times when I thought it would get shaky were all met.

Now to explore other aspects like dream control, contacting my shadow self and doing some inner depth work with my sub/unconscious.

If people do want to get into lucid dreaming - I'd highly recommend a dream journal. At worst, you can analyse your dreams, and at best, you can enter a different world that you can slowly begin to control, almost every night.

4 back to back (albeit short) lucid dreams.

Prepwork: Daily dream journaling, daily 'Am I dreaming'
check ins, and probably most importantly - setting a reminder to go off a couple of hours after I fall asleep saying 'you are in a dream'.

Whilst I haven't been dreaming when that reminder has gone off, it does stay in my consciousness for the next couple of hours. My goal: No sudden movements. Just work on stabilising the dream environment.

1. I'm in a pub across different levels. I'm trying to get to an upper level, when I realise I'm dreaming and get Lucid. I walk across the stairs, but when there's rungs, I can't use my legs in the dream to climb up. I try using my hands for support to pull me up, but this doesn't work either. The dream dissolves.

2. I'm in a car with two famous actresses on either side of me in car, and one of them's driving. And I think hey, doctor/psychiatrist in the day, and the two hottest actresses in the world on either side by night. 'Almost sounds like a dream', I say to my companions, and then realise it is a dream and get Lucid. I tell them to chill out even if it is a dream, as I want the dream to stay stable. We drive to the top of the hill, and I can crane my head all the way around and see the road drop away by the hillside probably into the ocean. We reach the top of the hill, and there's a bar called 6 pack, but the dream dissolves before we can enter it.

3. Another where I'm at a lucid dreaming workshop and leave it, I then become Lucid, only to return to speak to people, but wake up on my way back. Okay, to be honest. I saw a couple of hotties in the other room and went back to find them, but hey, overexcitement caused the dream to dissolve.

4. Another dream where I get lucid in a closed room. I walk around the room, closely examining everything but feel my feet touching each other on the bed, and my feet touch each other in the dream and I stumble.

- the reason I'm sharing pretty trivial details is not so much the details, but the process I'm working through and what is working, doesn't work if there are people trying to replicate it. Changes of scenery, not being able to control my body for complex movements in dreams, getting excited, running are all ways that end up dissolving the dream.

I think to stabilise my dreams, I should say 'dream stabilise!' or some other command, and better meditations so I'm more grounded in my dreams.

Setting a reminder to go off a couple of hours into sleep is a boss move to be constantly aware to check if I'm dreaming. This helps me get back to back lucid dreams. Daily dream journaling is a must tho'.

I wouldn't recommend trying to lucid dream in the week, as it eats into precious school night sleeps. But A-OK to try it on weekends.

For this lucid I will use a purplish color since the dreams were eerie and like a nightmare.

Strange

I was lucid crawling in a long narrow blue tunnel that represented my mind. As I crawled in there I saw my mother pass by and quickly followed her. I lost her for a moment but I chose which path to go through, ready for whatever came. The last thing I saw was a small hole on the side of the tunnel. A red/yellow eye filled the hole and peered at me as I looked. The scene changes to my room next.Someone is positioning me in the right place but I move away than wake up

Strange, Strange Place

I was non lucid trying to find my way out of a preschool. The principal was trying to make me stay because I found out about them abusing children.Somehow I managed to get away though.

Next I recall being with a group of guys in a different place that felt like the Caribbean.I was given a empty gallon holding pill drugs. Apparently it was our source of power and would keep us away from the cops and people who wanted to get rid of us. But as we were walking outside a group of cops were called in and they were searching for those with our power. I quickly took the drug in an attempt to get away but ended up in the same place with time turned back. It felt like I died many times before that so I asked my friend next to me "how much longer do we have to do this before we find our home?". He said he wasn't sure but to follow him. I followed him, hoping this rick and morty dimension jumping thing would stop. (I don't watch the show but did see a few scenes on youtube before).After following him we spread out cause of the cops again. I ended up running into a crowd of cannibals."Stay back or taste my fire!"I shouted than burned them all. They didn't burn completely but it was enough to get away.

The scene changed after that and I was watching a video of my mom's old friends on vacation in a Caribbean water park. I than stopped watching the video, saw a image of a bloody scene and turned away to notice I was by myself in a small wooden house. It felt like I was in Africa alone and I could feel a presence waiting to jump out from the dark room.

I quickly ran out and held the phone trying to message my father but I noticed I was now in a huge parking lot where people were selling and buying things from swindlers or those trying to make a living."I better hide this before someone steals it and I'm left on my own". I put the phone under my shirt and pretended to have a hurt stomach as I walked. A tall, slim dark skinned man sees me and approaches. "What do you have in there? Take it out right now".I dont take it out and reply "It's a box with ice inside. I have a stomach ache". He doesn't believe and continues to follow me. "Look at the shape of it. You going to tell me that's a box?Take it out right now" he said. I didn't trust him so I still didn't. Than suddenly a chubby pale boy wearing orange takes out a huge gun and begins arguing with his mother near a crowd. The mother pleads with him not to shoot but he starts shooting her and those in the crowd. I run away to behind a fence than look quickly. After that I crawl quickly on the ground to get further away without being noticed. The guy who was pestering managed to get away as well.

Last thing that happened was I ended up in a hotel trying to call my dad on the phone and wondering
how much more distance would I have to run to get away from the danger.

My alarm is going off. It's incredibly loud and annoying, and my hands are trembling as I try to shut it off. I'm swiping for all I'm worth, and the icons on the screen are sliding left and right, but that sound continues.

I realize that it's not my phone ringing at all. It's my wife's phone. I grab her phone from her and swipe ... swipe ... swipe! ...

The sound is piercing and persistent and annoying.

It goes on for about ten seconds, and I'm thinking about launching the phone at the wall when it dawns on me that this phone isn't ringing either. The ringtone is different.

I wake myself up, genuinely rising out of sleep, and I open my heavy eyes. Beside the bed, my wife's Kindle alarm is going off.

I reach over like a man clawing toward safety, grab the Kindle, swipe toward 'dismiss' or whatever it says.

Finally, It stops.

I was non lucid at my father's house paying attention to a strange small man with a orange tech wrapped around his body. As I observed him, listened and looked at the random animals popping up around the yard I became lucid."I gotta go" I told the small man that sort of reminds me of tingle. He didn't seem like he wanted me to leave but I just jumped out the window than flew around the house. I changed my mind about roaming about like usual though. After going inside i found my older sister and a black cat that looked like the kitten my brother had gotten than gave away. As the cat bit an object on the ground I picked up a dream phone and looked at the numbers/letters." I know I usually use words or numbers but this time I'm just gonna use feeling only".

I thought about having a signal with Dawn and the feeling of his presence until I heard his voice. "Uh,Hi this is...".I stopped myself."Should I try a prank call for fun?".I changed my mind though and decided to hear him out after saying who I was. But than I heard someone arguing with him while he was on the phone.I tried responding but than a double of my voice appeared.Putting the phone away now I went out the door to see people on bleachers near the beach. A surfing competition was going on. After poking a D.C. I heard the voice of the guy arguing with Dawn. I wanted to get a better look at the bottom part of where I was so I swung down with a salmon colored curtain. I ended going down hard though and covering the surfers with the curtain. Someone flew to help me and the surfers after that but I woke up.

I was somewhat aware it was a dream but also stuck on observing.

I was watching a little Japanese girl with short black bob hair in a white/purple jacket crying on the sidewalk. She looked like she was eight or 10. A few adults and a little girl see her crying and walk up to her asking her what's wrong. The little girl replys that she is sad she can't write a story. A blonde tall woman in a long cotton brown jacket, wearing a scarf than sings in a high note and tells her to try and match up with her. The little girl try's and they laugh together. The woman than tells her that she can create any story she wants if she puts her mind to it and to keep trying.The little girl listens to her gratefully than runs around,goes into a store than out but before she heads home she is approached by a tall slim man who was in the group.

He starts talking to her by telling her a story with a suspenseful, funny tone."There was a guy named mettaton who called those around to touch him.Here, Here,Here,Here and here". As he said that and touched himself fluffy gray cotton balls popped up on his long jacket. Than he continued "But there was something missing. He couldn't find his whip. But than.......He disappeared". I woke up after that pretty content with the dream since I found it heart warming and funny. The ending got me cause I woke up after he said "disappeared".

Getting my recall up a little bit.

Abandoned house

I was in my old house from 1998 in chilliwack. All the flooring had been pulled up and I was in the living room sitting on plywood with Val from work. She had an oddly shaped tupperware container - It had a big shelf or ledge around the perimeter which contained bags of tex mex and various chocolate snacks. In the middle was just a drop with nothing in it. She told me I could have a box of something and that there was chocolate fudge in there somewhere.

I fished around the bowl for a while making a note of everything. I couldn't find anything with chocolate fudge... I asked her where the fudge was? She pointed too a white box with brown lettering on the side. I opened the box and there was a smaller pop tart like package I culled the box out and somehow spilled the tex mex stuff down the middle. "NOOO!" I said trying to stuff the contents back in the bag, "I spilled it all." Val didn't even seem concerned about that. I pulled the pop tart like thing out of the other box and she took the box and placed it back in the container with all the other stuff. I was about to eat my snack when...

FA, In the bedroom of that house? I look and see there's a window with tree branches swaying in the wind but something doesn't seem right (It's also night time or dawn in the dream.) A ghostly hand is swaying amongst the branches. At first I think it's a trick of the shadows but then it begins to wave at me... I suddenly feel terror and close my eyes like Danny in the shining. I count a few seconds and open them but I'm really awake now in a completely different room than the dream one, (Not facing any window.)

Random stuff

First I remember being in a house with my cousin K, and various other people. She was mad at me for something. which brought on a false memory of my aunt accusing me of the same thing. I got really angry and defensive.

Next I'm at some party with people from McDonald's in a big apartment complex. None of them are people I know in waking but I seem to know them somehow? It's all pretty boring so I go outside for a smoke. I run into someone that looks kind of like M from work She invites me to the party for the Mcd's that I used to work at. I follow her and we run into a bunch of people I don't know. mainly a bunch of uninteresting effete men with wavy died hair.

Dream skips forward a bit and I'm in a big weird I'm following my brother around mall. There's like a half waterpark around. I follow him up some green part with a parkour for dreams like obstacle, but I can't jump it very well. My dad is off in the distance on a landing waiting for us. My brother sits on something like a sprinkler for laughs. He asks me to try it but I say no. we are about to leave when I wake up.

Dreams from October five to shix, 2017

I had one lucid dream on this night. I would title the night of dreams as a whole, "escaping with phone, back row anemia, giraffe pillow."

Firehouse

I was pulling out of the local fire house. I had no seat belt. I had a white pillow over my chest. In my convertible. The driver side door was open. A police officer came up. "Why no seatbelt? Because it is too high?" I felt fear I would get a ticket. Having been parked facing out also may have been trouble there as they have a rule there, "head in parking only."

Mix of Fragments

I lost a lot of these details due to needing to pee. So I will just write them in one heading instead of as multiple dreams, even if they were.

Box of comic books. Kids getting off a school bus.

There was something with a Pokemon who required 2 "light energy" to do an ability called "Pick Up".

Guy telling me to say his name when he wasn't there. Walking by a patch of grass.

Older woman walking with a cat?

Woods?

I was blending bananas and walnuts together in a food processor. The grey knob turned the food processor to a higher setting. They looked yummy. But I did not have time to eat them. My sister was in it. Something about 1:30 P M, watching a clock, no food on the boat...

Rich D R F type guy (owner of restaurant I worked at). Going on a boat. Making all these lions and tigers fight but they faked it? One lion put his fang on another lions head but he didn't clamp down. I remember the fang.

Text from Justin or Allen?

Some vague website.

Help from people in food program?

I was driving somewhere and had a sense of needing some "me time" (i. e. using my voice memo method to think out loud) but I felt I couldn't get away long enough to get some time to myself. I was driving down B Avenue from L V.

Something about an alarm clock cutting my sleep short, but for no reason. I was like, "Huh? Since when do I use alarm clox?"

Round 3 of dreams

It was 1:30 P M and was now 8:30 A M in the dream. I was going to a 9 A M class. I overheard C M and Jesse talking about big book. First I passed by, then stopped and said, yeah, I heard that, too. I questioned if I should interject that into their conversation, But decided, that yes, I should. J was my sponsor. (I also wrote fuzzy wuzzy was a bear in my dream journal, was that from a dream, or just a note to self?)

I needed my giraffe pillow. I got it and then went hyperspeed up stairs.

There was this slanted funny side walk kind of warped. I was driving down it trying to park. I was looking for the ramp to drive down. It was slanted diagonally but hard to put into words. So I was confused about how to drive down it.

A red truck was parked horizontal in a few spaces. Or a mini van. There didn't seem to be any room for my car. I felt it symbolized something in my waking life where there was no room for me in a group I was trying to attend.

Round 4 of Dreams.

Blue Tray of Gasoline. It didn't smell bad. It was in my room and bathroom. Like a yellow oil.

Program speaker. M was the host and spoke a little after the speaker about honesty or being sick. People on gameboys and anemic looking people were in the back row. They had freckles and were kind of blood shot. Pale skinned. I don't know if that is the correct usage of anemic but thats the word that came to mind when I saw

In another part I was running from someone who was considered to be the head mistress. I tried to teleport away with my phone as the teleportation device. Instead of teleporting us, it made is invisible. My friend and I. I felt a lot of fear, and didn't want to get caught. So it was kind of a panicking moment. My friend had a phone out and I thought, "That's a special kind of phone! We can use it to escape!" Then we used it to escape. Then I saw a hologram of 2 girls walking. I felt more lucid then. I was trying to stabilize the dream. Then I was up again, and laying there. Then I saw a smiley face. Then I woke up. I set an intention to have an L D in round 3 of dreams but had it this time. Still, very cool. One of my early ones.

2017, 10-05

The Dark Tower – Hold On to Me, Odetta

I am on a beach and it is near dark. I look around to see where I might be and I see that I am not alone here. I see three people not far away. Two men and a woman in a wheelchair. I wouldn’t have had to look to notice the woman, however, she is screaming expletives at the top of her lungs and laughing in a wild cackle. I recognize the two men when I get a little closer, it’s Roland and Eddy from the Dark Tower series. Both of them look exhausted. There is a black woman in the wheelchair, so that must be Odetta Holmes / Detta Walker… and I can immediately tell which one is in control right now. Not the lady, but the bitch. As I walk closer Roland spots me first, then Eddy, but I am quite a bit closer before Detta notices me. When she sees me she goes silent for a brief moment, then loudly announces that Roland and Eddy won’t have to suck each other’s little white candles anymore, now there’s a honky bitch here to do that for them… of course unless they prefer each other… She says she’s sure I’ll spread my legs for them!

I ignore Detta completely as she continues ranting and raving, cackling at her own bad jokes. I have a mission here, and I go over towards Eddy. I’ve forgotten that this Eddy has never met me before, so to him I’m a stranger. Roland introduces us. I tell Roland and Eddy that I have a technique that will help them deal with Detta more easily. Upon hearing her name Detta falls silent and then starts telling us not to be talking about her, so now the honky bitch wants in on the fun? I still ignore her and move a bit farther away. I tell Eddy that I know he’s already in love with Odetta Holmes, and that will help a lot. I tell him I don’t have a lot of time here, but if he will let me sort of merge with him I can show him how he can reliably cause Detta Walker to back off and Odetta Holmes to come forward at any time he needs to. He seems hesitant, so I say it works the same as when Roland was in his head. He seems hesitant still, he asks if Odetta will really come back… I say she will. He finally agrees.

I wonder how I’m going to manage this fusion with Eddy, but it works easily. I become transparent and just step into him. As one, we walk over to Detta. She’s acting scared, telling us to keep our honky hoodoo away from her. I have a song to use, My Last Breath by Evanescence, so I ignore Detta’s ranting and use it through Eddy. “Hold on to me, love. You know I can't stay long. All I wanted to say was, I love you and I'm not afraid.” Detta says she doesn’t want to be serenaded by no honky mofo bitch! I continue. “Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your heart? Holding my last breath, safe inside myself, are all my thoughts of you. Sweet rapture of light, it ends here tonight. Amidst the winter, a world of precious things.” Detta tries again to interrupt, she says she broke the blue for-special plate and it’s gone forever. I ignore that. “Look for me in the white forest, hiding in a hollow tree (come find me).” Detta says she’s going to hunt us down and we’d better stay in that tree or else… she trails off and rubs her head, her eyes are watering or she’s crying. “I know you hear me, I can see it in your tears. Closing your eyes to disappear, you pray your dreams won’t leave you here. But now you wake and know the truth, I’m still here…”

By this point I can see Odetta coming out, it’s time for Detta to go to sleep until at a later time she can be reintegrated with Odetta and the woman can be whole at last. “Say goodnight, don't be afraid. Only together we can face the night. (Say goodnight) Holding my last breath, (Don't be afraid) safe inside myself. (Calling you, calling you) Are all my thoughts of you. Sweet rapture of light, it ends here tonight.” As I / Eddy finish the last notes of the song I see that Detta / Odetta is looking confused, like she’s not sure how she even came to be here. Detta Walker has gone to sleep, Odetta Holmes has taken control. I tell Eddy that he only needs to use the song again if Detta comes back. It won’t do any harm to Detta, for she is merely another aspect of Odetta and the two must eventually become one if this woman is to survive and be healthy. Just remember the song and Detta Walker will not be able to cause any more trouble. Before I can figure out how to separate from Eddy I wake up.

2017, 10-05

Mystery Raiders

I am on a beach, though I’m not sure where I am. I walk along the beach for a short distance, but I don’t get a chance to think much about the situation before I hear gunshots not far away. The sounds are coming from the opposite direction from where I was heading, so I turn around and hurry in the opposite direction. The beach is mostly straight so soon I see some people up ahead on the beach. There is more gunfire, I see some people that seem to be attacking, a single man is taking cover behind some rocks and picking attackers off one by one, and there appears to be a body on the ground not far away from the man, also behind the large rock. There also seems to be a door standing there on the beach all by itself, a door that couldn’t possibly lead anywhere but I’m sure it does. The door is standing open, but all I can see through it is darkness. I go up in the hills off to my right to keep from being seen as I get closer to see what is going on. When I get up on a hill overlooking the fight below. I can now more clearly assess the situation.

The man who has been shooting is MoSh. He is using a pair of ancient looking guns that make a sound that could be heard from miles away every time one fires. The dead man is Roland from the Dark Tower books… but he’s not dead, I can see he is breathing though he doesn’t look too good. He looks sick, maybe on the brink of death. The people… if they are people… attacking them are the strangest thing going on here. They are completely concealed within cloaks and look like overgrown Jawas from Star Wars movies. Also, they have what look like guns, but the guns make no sound when they fire. I can only tell one has fired when a chunk of the rock MoSh is taking cover behind explodes. Each shot MoSh makes takes out one of the strange attackers, but there seem to be so many of them. Each of the enemies also turns to a black dust when the body hits the ground, conveniently leaving nothing by which to discern what they are. Then I see more of them coming out the strange door. MoSh sees that, too, and is almost close enough to reach out and close the door... but not quite. He would be exposed for too long.

Ok, so a distraction is in order. I move a bit farther away from the door and come down in a place that would make the attackers turn away from the door and MoSh. They don't seem to notice me at first. I call out to them, "Hey! Are all of you so craven that you can't even show your faces? Or are you so ugly that you're really doing us a favor by hiding?" That gets their attention. They turn towards me and aim their weapons at me. MoSh calls out that I don't want to get shot, do I? I call back that this is a dream, I'm not worried about getting shot. I form my left arm into an Alex Mercer shield as I see an enemy make a movement to fire. I hear no sound until I hear the sound of an impact on my shield that has a surprising amount of force behind it. And after the physical impact there is a wave of dark energy that flows over me... these guys play dirty! I stabilize the dark energy as I wonder exactly what these enemies are... dark energy wielding Jawas on steroids? I see MoSh is taking advantage of the distraction to reach the door and close it... but it won't close! I add a telekinetic push to the door to help MoSh out, but it still won't move. Shit... Roland probably opened the door, so he probably has to close it... I distract the enemies with a couple bolts of lightning through Metallica's Battery while MoSh gets back to cover and then I quickly join him.

More enemies are coming out the door to take the place of the ones I hit with lightning, MoSh plugs two of them before they even set foot on the beach. They fall on top of each other and then turn to dust. MoSh says the door wouldn't budge. I say Roland probably opened it, he probably has to close it. MoSh says good luck with that... can I heal him? He motions to Roland's motionless body. I go over to Roland and look at him. The heat of a fever is coming off of him in waves. I reach for his right arm and I see that his right hand, while whole, is badly swollen and an angry red color. I take hold of the hand and focus healing energy through Roland. MoSh says I'd better hurry, he's almost out of ammo. Roland seems to wake up from a fever dream and he reaches for his guns, which are missing. He then seems to recognize me. He looks over at MoSh and says he'd half thought seeing MoSh had been a dream. I tell Roland he has to close the door since he opened it. Roland says the door was a trap, a fake. I say yes, but he still has to close it. He struggles to his feet and then drops immediately as he is being shot at.

I tell Roland MoSh and I will cover him as he closes the door. This time when Roland moves from behind the rock towards the door I call more lightning and MoSh quickly shoots several more enemies. Roland closes the door, preventing more enemies from coming. MoSh and I make quick work of the few enemies remaining. The door closes with a resounding crash, and I barely have time to see it is emblazoned with the word "VOID" before it falls to the beach looking like just a large piece of driftwood. Roland asks if MoSh or I know who those strange things were. Humans don't turn to dust upon death... I tell him someone is setting traps around, but I don't know who or why yet. MoSh looks like he is about to say something but instead he disappears. I tell Roland to only open doors saying, "The Prisoner," "The Lady of Shadows," or "The Pusher." I know those to be real. Before he can say anything in reply I wake up.

Old house bathroom, G in there and me sitting on counter. See but crawl out of toilet and he doesn't let me kill it, so it crawls into the wooden drawers under the counter. At night

Outside with him chasing me, old home backyard, go to neighbors backyard behind us and fall down. Books and legos, J comes up and we talk and he fires a gun. He said it's a blank anyway but it's load and flashy.

In grandma's house and want to leave so I go to the left and past two young girls, eventually running past stuff in old neighborhood, bend on our street going left. Down to the 5mph sign, I start rolling around, and see guy in a car who wolf whistles and cat calls me. Then gets out and starts taking pictures, another guy in car comes along and tells him to stop. He gets back in car and leaves, I miss the attention.

In plane that has stopped and I go walking around to tell people, I become lucid here and walk around trying to summoning random person. I check every. Seat and he's not there so I go and wake up mom, walk into a room with a kitchen set up to the left and a small table to the right. I grab stuff from the refrigerator to eat and savor, I note that most everything tastes the same sugary cinnamon type. As mom walks in I grab all the candies or cookies and chocolate stuff and put it on the table. She makes a comment about my hunger and I shrug it off because I know I want to engage all my senses to get my full lucid dreaming experience. She sits down at the table as I try some weirdly named cookies, lemon elephants or some stuff. They do taste surprisingly good though, like a lemon gingersnap. I offer them to mom and the two other guys sitting near the window, they each take a handful and nod. The cookies look like fish pellets by the way, the next is a big cookie that looks to be made from a young child's creative playdoh session. Slightly bigger than my hand and almost all blue, except in the middle where it's a green strip going all down the middle and in the green strip are a mix of black seeds and orange to yellow colour around them slightly. It tastes like a fruit loops cinnamon bun combined and I figure I'd better work on my other senses, so I leave it for mom to finish. I look to the ground and smell the fresh air, a breeze is blowing and gives me a chill. I rub my arms and notice they are sleeveless, despite going to bed wearing sleeves, I ignore that and close my eyes for a moment to help. This has helped in past lucid dreams and as I opened them then, I see everything just a bit clearer.

I nod and go to walk outside through another door, when I suddenly remember a dream challenge. I go back to mom and first ask if I may ask her something, she replies yes and I ask her what do I not know about myself? She responds that it's a good question and as she leans back in the chair to think, I wonder if she'll say anything at all. But she does and comes to the conclusion that I'm "flimsy." I did ponder that for a bit and finally thanked her, I tried to remember my second challenge but failed and assured myself I didn't have to rush things.

So I finally left through the door and woke up.

I went downstairs and searched the cupboard for food, trying to remember the other challenges, I found the exact same cookie in my cupboards. So I ate it and the taste was the same, I noticed I had control over my actions but didn't use this to tell myself I was dreaming..perhaps I already knew.. I did have to use the bathroom though so I did that, then I looked outside and saw three pathways carved into my woods, I went and walked towards them a bit and saw them getting a bit wider. I wondered if it lead somewhere and I chose to go to the middle one, as I approached I saw two guys and tried to wonder which they were. I kept thinking one was someone I knew but then I got them mixed up and one was walking toward my home anyway so I went with the other guy who was going towards my chosen entrance. We walked until we saw a defense system, a dragon's head as a current at the start of the road leading to the door. I waited until my new company had walked past it and then saw it shot a constant laser out of it's mouth and it's head rolled in almost every direction. I started running when it seemed to target me, once it hit it burned and I freaked out. Running to the door it just kept itself trained on my back, I saw a health bar below my feet and kept running once I noticed it moving down waaaay too fast. My friend didn't have one but kept running faster, I managed to catch up to him when we were almost at the door and I was almost dead. I lunged in front of him and said stay behind me, it worked and I managed to jump into the grid door which threw me out the other side onto the ground of some..mall? Someone near me smiled and started walking, so I followed them and noticed my health bar fill up and disappear. I don't regret using my friend as a body shield, and look around instead. The place does look like a mall and in front I saw people moving like the undead, I shake the feelings off and blink to make them disappear. It works and I continue up the stairs that the man next to me leads me to, I really wanted to head out the main doors but then I woke up for real.

Dreams from the night of October 1 to October 2.

I am going back through my hand written dream journals and typing them up for review. Also I hope to have an LD count by the time I'm done going through these.

Paper Plate Dog mask

My mom's friend had this dog mask thing with orange glasses. It was made of a paper plate. Like a wolf's face drawn onto a paper plate with orange glasses on the wolf. The idea was that people would forget how to make this craft, and it was hard to scan and replicate. Someone was driving with it on.

Rapper with Sterno Gun

A well known rapper had a gun. But it was loaded using sterno base things like they have at buffets.

Job Search

I was looking up ads to be a "personal aide" but it seemed there was some kind of innuendo involved. It was day time.

Significant Romance Dream

I was in this room with two beds and a fridge in the middle of them I think. I was listening to some heavy metal music. It was the same music I hear in my head but can't find the actual song of. Maybe my own original music of my soul, if only I could play well enough. I didn't know it was a dream, so I was thinking, oh, wow, I found it! It was kind of Joe Satriani style.

A woman appeared in the room. We were opening a fridge. Then, I was in a bed and she same and spooned with me. It was a very intimate feeling but we didn't do anything not child friendly.

I think I realized it was a dream and stabilized myself with some words that were written on the wall. It was all not really understandable, but I was really staring at them, trying to memorize them. The mental focusing and visual focusing helped me stay in the dream. But I couldn't recall the words upon awakening. It was like a Wikipedia page. While I was reading it, I realized I was dreaming, and the previous parts had been a dream.

I wrote a message to the woman on the wall. The wall was yellow. I wrote in teal on a silver circuit breaker. I remember the message but I will save it for my private notes because it was personal.

A dog was also into the room and came into the bed with us to snuggle. I also noted that the woman was wearing navy blue. The dream was very vivid.

Someone else came in the room. The lights got brighter and I looked for my orange glasses. For a moment, I didn't have them on. I worried about the melatonin suppression for it being night time.

Please Refrain from Dissing my Sister

This was a longer dream that took place at my Nana's house. In her living room and ground floor areas mainly. I was sitting on the couch with the woman from the previous dream and another guy. He was in the middle couch, and the woman and I were in chairs on either side of the couch. The guy was a bit heavier and wearing a funny hat. He was a video game sprite designer.

We were playing on a Sonic Level with invincibility. Someone was saying, "You can't do that". I think what happened was we lost invicibility going over some spikes and lost all those rings or coins. Then Sonic and Tails looked tired. For that time the video game was on "full screen" on the "dream screen".

When it pulled away, we were still on the couch. I asked the guy if he designed Pokemon Sprites. I forgot if he answered, but I felt so excited to hang out with a real video game sprite designer! At the same time, because he had a more advanced career than me, I was afraid he would draw the woman away from me. So I felt insecure especially about my career not measuring up to his.

When he asked me what I did, I didn't say much. Probably just a vague kind of reply. I wanted to tell him about my Fii Note, but in the dream, it was just a regular white board. So, it didn't seem very special. In waking life I had just got a new app called Fii Write that I was really excited about, so that carried into my dream.

Then my sister was walking through the room. She had got a gift for having been sober a year. It was a white board, folded up and wrapped in plastic, with a marker. She goes, "That's all I got?" in dissappointment.

Then the video game designer guy began to mock her, repeating, "That's all I got?!" over and over. I was angry. "How dare he mock my sister?" So I started to squeeze his neck. His neck actually squished a lot in my hand, like soft material. But he didn't die. I was really angry.

I took the guy out into my Nana's ground floor hallway and threw him over the railing down into the den. Then, I got a long metal poker, like a chimney poker, and stabbed him with the sharp end as he lay there in a fetal position.

Then I turned to my left and his father had just come in. His father had this big crazy weapon thing. My Dad was at the little table at the top of the stairs to the den, bending down to go through some sort of box. I hid behind my Dad, hoping he would protect me. The guy's Dad was angry at me for hurting his son and was going to retaliate. I realized that I had a little knife. I thought that his Dad might hurt my Dad since my Dad seemed oblivious to what was going on, as a way to get revenge. I tried to grab the guy's giant pocket knife chain saw thing with my hand. I felt lots of fear. That was when I woke up.

Once I was awake, I reflected on what I could have done if I had become lucid.

I want to shower

I was showering slowly in the upstairs bathroom of 15 Swoo. Someone else wanted to shower. They wanted me to finish my shower later. But they said they were going to wait three minutes before their shower. So I said I would finish my shower before the three minutes were up.

While I was trying to shower, there was some annoying drilling. I looked outside. It was coming from some kind of T V out front. I wrote "I thought to go write". Was that in the dream?

Vague Conflict

The dream was about a conflict with someone I was afraid would catch up with me. But I didn't remember the details.

Pool

I was on a treadmill near the entrance to the pool. It was 10 A M. I saw my friend Alex and asked him if the pool was open. I was writing in Green. I went down to the locker room. I couldn't find which lock was mine. All these different locks, but where was mine? I was thinking I could swim without needing audio, but what about my left shoulder?

Food Dream

There was something about one of the brown dessert foods they give to the kids at Easter. And an innuendo relating it to poop.

Notes

When I look back at these dreams 5 months later, I can remember how excited I was to have a little bit of lucidity and a really vivid dream. I think I woke up from the conflict dream with lots of adrenaline in my system. At the time I would use the MILD technique to imagine what I could have done if I became lucid in certain dreams.