lucid

Got a few dreams to note, including DIELD. All but the latter are fragments, though.

Scrap Group 1
Watching Rick and Morty. The latter was in a chapel with his family (sans Rick). Apparently, Morty was marrying a gnome with a flagrant... bulge in his pants. Beth wasn't too happy with this, which in turn causes resentment with Summer. Later on, Morty seems to snap out of a daze, and realizes this matrimony was involuntary; Rick had previously drugged teen. So, he calls the whole the off. The gnome begs for Morty's return, and admits to doing painful things to cause the, uh, bulge for his sake, though Morty ignores as much. Later, Jerry complains of small flaws he noticed in decorations. When his ramblings went off-screen, his voice was replaced with that of a hammy stage performer for whatever reason. Concurrently, Beth and Summer were busy arguing on gay marriage rights issues.

At the bedroom of an unknown home, of which warps into another. Jonathan shows up. We start looking for some blue file folder. Noticed the main theme for Twisted Metal 2 sounding in the background. In a filing cabinet, I find what I thought was the correct folder, only for Jonathan to point out numerous copies of the same object.

Dream 1 - Contrived Cascades

DIELD transitioned from a dreamlet. The visuals were blurred. I was walking around the neighborhood during the dead of night. Wasn't sold on this being a full dream at first. I look up at the sky, and imagine the moon appearing. Instead, two bright interstellar clouds form, one silvery in color, the other violet. That's when I'm suddenly pulled up into the depths of space, and I finally rubbed my hands to confirm the dream state. Oh, the vibrant sight of comets, stars and nebulae never ceases to entice. After a few minutes of soaring through the cosmos, the view shrinks into a window skewing and bouncing around black borders. Not anything some manual arrangements couldn't fix.

I then thought of doing TOTMs, of which the 'awareness behind the dream' task was readily in mind. "Awareness beyond the dream", I called out, "what should I see? What should I dream?" Cue immediate warp. I find myself in a billdboard-2.5d room, its ceiling, floors, and walls all appearing as rocky tiles made of water. Realistic waterfalls leaking throughout the structure contrasted this otherwise contrived sight. And yet, when I passed through these cascades, I felt nothing. When I looked at my right hand, I saw it was replaced by a hand-shaped mouse cursor.

Another warp half a minute later. I was now in an elementary school's computer lab. On screen in front of me was some Roblox game or something similar. Figured that's what I saw before. I soon lost lucidity, and got caught up in the act of being an adult student there in the same class as my nephew, Lucas. Not too clear on what happens next. Pretty sure this involved a teacher catching me playing games on my assigned computer. The dream ended soon after that.

Scrap Group 2
Numerous dreamlets. Ones I remembered include the Demon roguelike, my walking around the neighborhood again, and later on, of my brother Eugene making a cake without eggs or milk. In each case, I tried going deeper by interacting with the environment, only to collapse the dream.

10.01.2017

Time Warp Syndrome (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Notes: Took some galantamine before bed, but I didn't sleep well because I was somewhat dehydrated and had a headache as a result. Still, my dreams were fairly cohesive.

I'm camping out in a large, extravagent log cabin with a guy I'm friends with and an eccentric old man who owns the place. One of the rooms is furnished with equipment that either belongs in a torture chamber or a sex dungeon (or both). O_O

At nightfall, I become suspicious that someone is going to try to break in through one of the screen doors that lead into the deck at the side of the cabin. I walk through the dimly lit cabin, past where my guy friend has already decided to lay down for the night, and suddenly become lucid when I open the inner door that leads out to the deck. I decide I need to float across the deck rather than walk so that whoever is going to break in doesn't hear my footsteps. I float over to the outer door and lock it. I realize how much I've missed floating like this in dreams! It's sort of a casual thing, floating with my feet just barely off the floor (kind of like how Marceline from Adventure Time floats). I wish I could move like this in real life. It's so much easier than walking.

Trying to decide what to do, I'm about to head back into the cabin when I'm suddenly pursued by a man dressed in futuristic attire. I fly outside above the cabin to escape his reach, but he can fly as well! We have an epic swordfight in the air until the eccentric old man from before steps outside and sends the man back where he came from. The man tells me that we must now "timestamp" everything we do--- something about the time-space continuum being broken, so we now have to be constantly vigilant about "when" we are because things can start happening out of order.

Night of September 30, 2017. Saturday.



I am sitting on our couch in the darkness in our lounge room in our present home. I am on the right side of our couch facing the north end of our lounge room.

I feel very peaceful and in a state of well-being and bliss. I soon become aware that our oldest son has come out of his room (from our lounge room’s access door on the west of his room). He has a pale yellow cell phone with a flashlight beam coming out of the top edge of it (not an item he has in real life). He moves it around, mainly in a horizontal semicircle from his right to his left, as if searching for something or someone, apparently me. He seems very cheerful though about five years younger than he presently is (though my dream self does not consider this distortion as such). I quickly wake as a result of RAS (reticular activating system, which is what biologically controls the dream state dynamics and inherent waking symbolism), still feeling very peaceful, calm, and happy.

---

I had this longer microdream while actually sitting on our couch (same position and orientation as my dream) after the power had been out this evening for over an hour (the result of a regional blackout). I was so relaxed sitting in the darkness that I slipped into a microdream within a few minutes upon sitting down on our couch (which usually only happens as I am watching television). Our son carrying the flashlight “looking for me” was simply the biological RAS activation (otherwise typified as “searchlight waking symbolism” of the passive and positive kind). The emergent consciousness factor was quite brief and the preconscious dynamic was non-aggressive as this was not a dream of a longer sleeping period. (In actuality, our youngest son had used a flashlight but not on me during the period of my dream.) The cell phone feature is present due to RAS mediating consciousness (as a type of communication with the transient fictional dream self).

The strictly biological RAS “searchlight effect” has occurred in hundreds of dreams since early childhood, including in documented dreams online such as “Steering Clear of a Laser Tracking Weapon” from 2013, “Spacecraft in the Alley” from 1997, “Not Exactly the Three Musketeers” from 1988, “Laser-Eyed Alligator” from 1979, “The Beam” from 1977, and a number of other dreams.

For the majority of people who have no understanding of dreams, it may be important to address why this biological RAS activation is different in this case from other dreams that utilize the same basic waking symbolism (the dawning consciousness metaphor), for example, how does this dream differ from “Laser-Eyed Alligator” or other dreams of the same type?

The most obvious difference here is, I expected and wanted the power to come back on. In “Laser-Eyed Alligator” and “Steering Clear of a Laser Tracking Weapon”, my dream self, at a subliminal level, did not want to wake yet. This is what RAS and the transpersonal preconscious are for. It is not rocket science unless one is superstitious and clueless.

---

On a side note, I talked with my lovely wife Zsuzsanna tonight about a possibility of perhaps editing and resupplementing all 4,000 or so of my dream journal entries presently on the Internet to make them more “idiot-proof”. Alas, this seems next to impossible. No matter how much clarity and accuracy I include in some of my entries, based on over fifty years of experience, there are people who do not get dreams at all (or of whom are of the unfortunate mentality to believe in “dream interpretation” in the various superstitious or pseudo-psychological ways the term is misused). There always seems to be one person (usually a male with obvious personal issues) who somehow feels the need to contradict the obvious or add to my post in various ways. I am stating that here just in case such a comment appears on an entry.

---

I've been having a positively awful first few weeks of the semester. I think I was still in summer mode and then wham, all these assignments hit me and I wasn't quite prepared for it.

I've been forced to sacrifice a lot of sleep lately for the sake of grades, but I'm going to try really hard to do that as seldom as possible.

I did have one LD this past week. Unfortunately, I can't really remember what happened in it. But the one blessing of sleep deficits is REM rebound, so I've been taking advantage of that.

Last night I had a positively wonderful non-lucid dream. I met Amy Lee from Evanescence, who was performing at a house for a semi-private concert. We were in a basement, actually, but it was fancy and well-furnished. Tons of people there. I don't even remember if any of the other band members were there. But I actually got to talk to her, and she was very pleasant and kind. She sang, and her voice sounded amazing. After the concert, I got stuck in a mass of people and I was trying to find her in order to say goodbye to her. A friend of mine (who only existed in the dream, i.e. I have not met him in real life but in the dream he was somebody that I knew moderately well) asked me where I was going. I said, "I have to find Amy! I want to say goodbye to her!" He laughed good-naturedly and said "What, do you want to marry her or something?" xD It was like I was in elementary school again or something. And I said, honestly, "Yes, I would absolutely love that, but she's already married. I just want to say bye to her." He laughed again and let me go after that. I couldn't find her though, and then I woke up. The house was a duplex in a really nice neighborhood with some Gothic architecture and imagery, like ravens on the mailboxes. It was rather awesome, actually.

Super cool dream. I woke up very happy. It was a pleasant conclusion to a terrible week.

And I sound like such a "fanboy", ugh lol.

Work

First memory is eating a mcdonald's burger in the lounge and finding frozen fries in my burger.

It shifts to me working in kitchen. I become lucid randomly when I look away from someone and look back and what was a guy with brown hair is now blonde with a beard. "Never switch a switcher." I tell him and he laughs. Someone else is staring at me and I say it's a dream. I walk around the sandwich table and begin to lose the dream. To prolong the dream and incorporate more senses I pull a chicken nugget tray out and start eating nuggets. I can taste them but am able to eat them too fast. Kind of feels fake but it makes the dream more vivid.

I walk away and now I'm in a living room. I sit on a couch and stare at my hand. I begin counting my fingers and see weird fingers under my other fingers. My hand has a 3D landscape on it. I can see houses on my hand and people walking about. I am confused. Next part is hard to recall.

I'm in a house somewhere. I become lucid but forget what made me lucid. I begin to call out for asuka looking for her. I run into a guy that looks like the priest from the exorcist T.V show. I begin talking to him but he walks away from me not wanting to talk. I call out to Asuka again. Calling for her makes the dream shift. I'm outside at night and see something like a town hall. I look down and up and now the hall is gone and it's a house. I walk towards it. I jump and try to fly but can't stay in the air. when I land two people are standing on the lawn. I'm not sure who they are but they seem to know me. A man is standing beside a woman with black hair. she seems taller than usual and white. They call to me. I gaze into the woman's eyes because they look strange. The pupils and iris's roll and reveal another eye. I look at black spots on the whites of her eyes and looking close i can see lots of mini eyes. I tell her it looks kind of cool. she doesn't say anything and suddenly we are inside a house in a kitchen. I grab her body and hold it and say she feels nice. I then glance at the man but he is shorter and changes his face.

I'm wandering in a house suddenly by myself asking myself if it's a dream? I look at my hand quickly and they seem normal,I jump and float and now I'm lucid again. I grab onto the top of a door hinge while floating. I begin to look for asuka again but the dream fades.

This is from going over old notes and typing it up in a neater format months later.

September 29, 2017 to September 30, 2017.

I forgot these dreams at first, until I laid back down from trying to write them. Then, they came back to mind.

There was a part where no one wanted to hear my raps.

Turtle, turtle, turtle, who needed a bigger shell. I got him a new one from another organism that was blue. It had top and bottom segments you could take apart.

There was a magazine with an Egyptian thing in a stack of wicker baskets. Some kind of waiting room or lobby.

Going downstairs to play video game. It was a 3 player game. My friend G F as well as girls were there too. Something about a beige carpet. Months later, some dreams I don't see as clearly.

Then I wrote, trapped in a building. Couldn't get out. Brown doors. Some teacher guy?

As I write it, it comes to me!

A meeting with a guy with a big hat. Great memory!







This dream I remember vividly. There was a black centipede thing in this spider web. It was tremendous. I tried to grab a stick. It had sharp legs. It turned slowly out from its web thing to look at me. As it did this it seemed to grow. I turned to run away. As I ran, I felt very sluggish and slow, like I weighed a lot, or my legs were stuck to the ground. I felt stuck. I felt lots of fear that the big centipede monster would catch up to me and attack or something. This sense of running but being stuck in place triggered lucidity somehow. I think I realized I was dreaming and flew up. 5 months later, I can't quite remember exactly what happened. maybe the dream just jumped to a new scene. But it was one of my earlier lucid dreams and a cool way to get lucid. I know I flew later though and I think it had to do with this "spark" of lucidity.

Something with T S. Are you righty or lefty? A tear down his fathers eye. T S almost falling backwards down stairs. I had gone to where T S was to look for his father. I got the sense that his father didn't like me talking to him. T S wanted to learn to write. I think I wanted to help. T S is somewhere further along the autism spectrum but I always saw him as a whole and complete person. There was something with their family having library books on the table. I remember doing something with the pile of library books. I think this was a lucid part of the dream where I felt like I was being helpful.

I forgot if anything happened next. I found myself outside and flew into the air! One of my early lucid flying experiences. I flew up by kind of seeing the map beneath me zoom out. Like somehow imagining the ground beneath me getting smaller could make me fly. For a moment, my sister was with me. I was carrying her through the sky as I flew. I have had many lucid dreams where my sister appeared and I tried to help her with dreaming skills. So I made it so the back yard got very small. Then I saw its outline. Someone on the ground was yelling at me as I ascended higher and higher. I remember this was interesting to me as maybe it was a part of my consciousness afraid to go further into lucid dreaming. I still have a fear of flying in lucid dreams actually for various reasons. Either I think it will wake me up, or I think the dream police will come get me. It has been about 6 months now and I hope to move past that fear so I can enjoy flying in L D's. Flying in lucid dreams is probably symbolic and so part of my dream journey is to clear things that block me from flying freely.

One dream detail was something in a state park place. I don't remember more about this one.

I dreamed of my orange glasses. I kept dreaming that I couldn't find my Decibel Defense headset, and there was leaf blower noise. I think I remember this dream. I was at a desk in my room toward the end of the day.

Later in the dream, my phone kept changing to these blue port window things. Not the default Operating System. I kept feeling my physical body, then thinking, "No, stay in this dream." This happened on the time when we ate the blue things, too.

I guess there were more parts I forgot. Then I flew up into this attic loft. I was trying to summon a wummon. I was lucid. I tried twice to close my eyes and make her appear. I hadn't learned about thinking the person will be behind me or around the corner yet, so i was trying to make them appear in front of me. I noted that this was the same attic loft that I made the blue blocks turn into food and ate them.

There was also a bit about adding table sugar, which I never ear, to a batch of brown rice and beans, which I eat almost every day. I tasted it and worried, thinking I would have to throw out the batch, due to the sugar. That dream detail came to mind after I laid back down. I had a high success rate at the time with remembering a dream detail the next time I woke up if I fell asleep without writing it.

In the next "round of dreams", I didn't remember any at first. I knew I slept and I knew I dreamed though, so tried. I remembered that my friend A R was hammering trees with a metal spike pick.
There was a red You Tube button that fell off this wall near a ramp we were walking along. Something about we couldn't have it. It was like this red knob that fell down.

It seemed weird that I couldn't remember any of these dreams. Something with a guy from school who worked with computers. I wrote, "Something about boys?"

My sister's phone number had 3 extension digits after it.

We were at a sink and 2 girls were complaining about how much soap we were using. I said, I don't normally use that much, but it is really dirty. I had a tupperware and two sponges, one with Scotch Brite pad.

What happened during this dream recall was that it was around 7 in the morning. I was trying to recall the dreams as I sat in my chair. I think some time had already passed since waking up but I was able to keep digging back for one more detail, and another, by sort of hyper focusing on the visual of the last detail I got. Then others would pop up around it. I broke this one by answering the phone, and couldn't get back to it. Who knows what else I would have remembered! Every dream detail matters, and now, I definitely don't even turn the phone on at all until I have remembered my dreams in full.

Notes. That was exciting to go back through these. The story of remembering the dream is just as much a story as the dream itself.

Got lucid, went outside. It was overcast, cold and raining so I sit on my porch in a half-lotus position and attempt to meditate like I intended. It felt weird. The dream didn't get any more vivid. In any case, the lucid part of the dream ended after like 30 seconds and it was non-lucid randomness about being a japanese salaryman from there.

I am going over DJ entries from the end of september last year. Then I will be able to have them more neatly formatted. It was really interesting to look back on these and I look forward to going over others.



September 28, 2017 to September 29, 2017, Dream Recall.

The night began by us losing a dream by laying down too long. We wrote that we need to get up and write the dream down as soon as we become awake. Then, I D K, I know it is hard, because you need sleep, too.

Next dream. A guy who drank liquor and then would hypnotize people and eat them. But then he lived with people who helped him stop, like an old people's resort. Is there anything else you remember? That was a good one. No, not really. Oh, wait... Well, just some Pokemon card type of scenario. Oh well. Maybe next time. Okay, Inner Child. Thanks! Z Z Z...

Next dream. I was lucid and flying around making moves on the ladies but then didn't. I decided not to make moves on the ladies in L D world. So, I kept flying around, seeing girls but I was just letting them be. There was a girl by a window. I was looking around there for my tan couch cushion I use as a pillow. She seemed to feel like she was in my way. I told her, no, you don't have to move.

Next dream. I was on a wobbly dock near W H Beach. The dock was slippery and wobbly. There was something with Jay's voice playing, from the noon meeting. My two couch pillows and the blue raft were floating away or blowing away. The water was choppy, and it was windy. I felt scared. "Why did I go on this dock?" I thought. I kept thinking I want to save those pillows, because there are no other pillows like them. But I was afraid if I reached in for them, my phone might fall in the water. So I sort of watched them float away. I thought perhaps I really have four of those pillows, and the other two were still at home. In waking life, I only have two. My blue blow up raft was stuck in a silver hand rail, between that and something else. But it was slowly slipping and blowing away. I couldn't save any of it. I tasted salt water at one point. I am not sure why, but I climbed up this white ladder type of thing. It was made of white beach chair material. Then, I couldn't get down. I am sure there is some symbolism in this dream. The emotions had to do with loss.

Next dream. I was near the kitchen sink at my current house listening to a Young Jeezy rap. It was about stopping the crack game. I had a sad realization about it. Like that the rappers caused lots of people to be addicted to crack in the first place. Now they were making money off motivating people to quit. Not sure if this pertains to what is going on in the physical world.

Next dream. There was a dream I had about some friends from college. We were sitting in a circle. I was in a blue blanket.

Next dream. A man came into my room, telling me about a web site he had made with his son. I was letting him use my computer to work on the web site, but expected him to be quiet. When he kept going on and on, I felt angry. I was trying to dream journal. He kept trying to talk to me and I angrily yelled, "GET OUT!" . As he left, he slammed the door behind him. I felt bad because my Dad was in the house and would either be woken up or disturbed by the commotion. The man's headset got stuck in the door behind him. I also smelled cigarette smoke as he was leaving, which added to my anger. I felt scared that he would come back angry and hurt me. So I felt angry then scared, as well as concerned for how this exchange could have impacted innocent bystanders. Such as my Dad when he saw the guy storm out. This situation had similar dynamics to something I go through in my waking life, but just with different people playing the roles.


Next dream. There was this plant called a "Lung Plant" which had pores for breathing? I think it had sort of yellowish bulbs on it. And other plants to eat. It was said that plants and vegetables are different. This sounds funny to me now.

Next dream. I was actually a female character and I had a new job. My new boss was telling me where I could eat.

Notes. I am going back through these from hand written notes in Fii Write and typing it in a fully typed format. I still remember these dreams vividly, about 5 months later. I can even connect some dreams to my life circumstances at the time, and I see how some things have changed. The one on the dock is the one I most vividly remember.

That's 6 lucid's in two days. The first three dropped into wispy dream fragments, and the fourth resolidified after de-fragmenting.

I'm in an hotel/nursing home kinda place and once I realise I'm lucid, I get excited and move forward. I see the dream fragmenting and I speak out loud Dream Stability, and it works, but only for a few seconds, and dissolves.

In another dream, I realise I'm lucid, and find I'm in a fenced meadow with a couple of hundred people. I'm in my underwear and there's only one person who can see me, and this is because he's high on mary jane. Then his friends who are high too see me. I tell them we're in a dream, and then prove it to them by flying up. I ask for a joint as I can't have it in real life, and we're in a circle as they pass the doobie around. I take a deep couple of drags and the dream dissolves.

2017, 09-27

Dark Tower – Beach Party

I am on a beach at night. I look around to see where I am. It’s a nice beach, except for the strange creatures crawling out of the sea onto the beach. These things look like some kind of cross between a crab and a lobster with extra-large pincers, but I notice they aren’t coming very far away from the water. They’re almost talking, but they talk nonsense like, “Did a chick? Dud a chum?” I start walking along the beach with the ocean at my left. I soon see something up ahead in the light of the moon. I approach it more quickly and soon I see that it is a door standing by itself, standing open. All of these clues put together have convinced me I am in a Dark Tower world and where there is a door on the beach Roland probably won’t be far away.

As I approach the door I see something lying on the ground in front of it. I soon see that it is a body lying there, and I correctly assume it is Roland. I get closer and check to see if he is ok. He is breathing steady, although I can feel a heat coming off of him as if he has a fever. I wonder how he could have a fever when I healed all his wounds… unless maybe my energy only healed the damage and didn’t get all of the poison… I look around and see that I am no longer alone. There are other people standing around, most of them have smirks on their faces. They are all wearing the symbol of the Templars. One of them comes over to me and puts on a fake friendly face, he says we have something to discuss. He says he wants to know exactly how the doors along this beach work so he and his associates can build one of their own. I tell him I really have no clue how the doors work (I don’t) and these Dark Tower worlds are the only place I’ve ever seen them. He doesn’t seem to believe me. He says he has medicine that can help my friend (Roland) or he can make sure Roland has no body to come back to.

I am about to respond when I see another person on the beach with us. This guy looks like a holy warrior or knight, he is dressed in bright armor and carrying a cool looking sword. The Templar who had been talking to me turns and asks who the fuck that guy is. The knight holds his sword out in front of him and it glows with a golden light almost too bright to look upon. The knight says the Templars may bare the holy mark of God, but he has seen through their disguise. He says he can see they have abandoned the teachings of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and now they must stand and face their holy judgment and be cast down back into the pits from which they came. Now I hear some of the other Templars muttering amongst themselves, they seem to think the knight is crazy. The knight doesn’t wait to see their reactions, he attacks with his brightly glowing sword which is almost blinding now. I shield my eyes and see a Templar open a portal and a large something comes through, looks like a giant or a golem of some kind, and it attacks the knight.

I am distracted when I see a Templar over by the door. I’m not sure what he is doing, but I know it can’t be good. I am about to do something, but it seems he is about to go through the door. He doesn’t make it, however… there is the sound of a gunshot and he falls right through the door, dead. I look where the shot came from and I see MoSh has joined the party. The next period of time is a bit unclear because there is some chaos. A couple Templars attack me and I demonstrate my Alex Mercer blade arm for them. A Templar is disoriented, looks like he has been blinded by the knight’s bright sword, and he wanders too close to the lobstrocities coming from the water and gets torn apart. I hear numerous gunshots from MoSh’s guns and soon there are even more because Roland has come back through the door and in spite of the fact he seems sick he is shooting like the guns are a part of his hands. I figure that even though I didn’t stop the venom from making Roland sick I was able to make sure he has both his hands whole.

Soon there are no more Templars, just MoSh, the knight who I am thinking might be a friend I have been trying to dream with named Austin, Roland, and me. This seems like a good chance for everyone to get to know each other. I’m not completely sure the knight is Austin, but I figure that is my best guess so I go with it and introduce everyone to everyone else since I’m the only one who knows everyone here. I am even more convinced the knight is Austin when he says I’m his sister and hugs me. I hug him back, though I’m not sure if he can even feel it through his armor. I have barely finished introducing everyone when I wake up.

Dream 1

I was drawing a picture for an old friend and funnily who I thought was Dolphin from dream views. I was told not to use the red pen though. The light blue one was apparently better since it represented Dawn.


Dream 2

Walking down the stairs of my old home I prepared myself emotionally to get ready to leave the house since I was moving. But hearing footsteps behind me I became distracted. "That must be my cousin"I thought. Hurrying down the steps I made it to the hall and looked behind me to see a little boy with a orange and white sweater. He wore glasses and passed me by quickly. "Must be a new friend of my brother"I thought.

But when I went into the room and saw him playing I became suspicious. "Could you get me some water with ice"he asked me."sure"I replied than went upstairs to get the water. I opened the fridge, took the ice out, put it in the glass than poured the water. When I got down stairs I gave the boy his water."Thanks"he said."no problem"I replied. However, when I stepped outside the room I saw the boy again.

"wait a minute...How can he be in two places,no,three places at a time!?"I thought,noticing another at the corner of my eye."I must be dreaming and you, your trying to replace my brother with your presence.Leave now!"I said out loud to the one I gave the water glass.He said no and attempted to swallow me whole. But I pushed him hard near the backyard exit door."This is my dream so you must leave"I thought than wacked him in the head with my hand. He was hard as a rock though and didn't budge."Fine...I guess I'll have to do it with heart than". I opened the door than began singing a song that would change his aggressiveness towards me.He became very interested by my singing and the subtle melody that appeared. The sky got a bit darker too but I pushed the darkness back with my mind. Before I knew it I had appeared in a futuristic facility where I came across my mom.

"Could we be sharing a dream"I thought. When I saw a beast that looked partly woman and snake/green beetle, chasing her I jumped in front of it, stopped it than poofed it out of existence. Impressed with my dream control what seemed like a army of beast mixed humans looked to me. Not wanting to keep them from doing their thing, fighting the war outside, I hurried down a narrow hall but than looked back."It might be fun to help them..".Walking closer to a beast guy I said "I don't know where to start". He than pointed to a dimension door near a check out counter where a slim woman was waiting for people to sign up.

"Uhh... Did my mom come through here?"I asked."Yeah,but she said it wasn't for her. Sign here". I looked to the blue paper and proceeded to sign, till I got to the birthday date and other info lines."I came here to look for my mom. I don't know if I'm willing to fight anymore. No matter how fun it could be". Unsure I scribbled my name but than tried to finish. I was taking a long time though and woke up.

I arose from my body into my bedroom as usually. Also it was dark as usually, when I travel at night. I started to walk around my house, finding nobody, not in beds, nor elsewhere. I wished for light, the darkness felt depressive. I failed to lit my aura, but I managed to see things... to see things, as if they were light sources themselves.
I went outside since there was nothing interesting inside of the house. My village was empty. I felt to be weary somehow. The only thing, that occurred to me, was to fly around... and after a short while I took course to my friend. I doubted, that I will find her when there was nobody in my village. As usually, I got lost halfway to her home... but this was at least interesting- I got lost by following the road, which unexpectedly changed into country road and ended on very high, step and rocky hill. From the upper side I saw both my village and friends village. There was no road down from that hill... strange- how was I following road when there is none now? It shouldn't vanish... I explored a top of that hill. I found there a love pair, a young girl and boy... Of course, they were disinterested in the communication.
I looked down to rocky abyss and I saw something like a shady blots moving up the steep rocky hill side. I turned and told to lovers: "mountain goats are coming this way". They looked in disbelief to me and immediately continued to kiss deeply each other. After a short while, a lineup of animals come directly to me, lead by big mountain goat... Except it wasn't normal mountain goat... it had antlers like moufflon. It came close to me and I sunk to my knees for some unknown reason... and I looked directly into its eyes. Those eyes looked back, and I saw an intelligence in them, something like old wisdom. Something like freedom, and peace. Something like I was assessed by it.
There was sinking feeling in my head and I found myself in a room filled with soft grayish light. There was young black haired boy i one corner of the room. He looked like he is working... but I could say that only by feeling, because the room was completely empty. The whole feeling was as if he is somebody important, wise and powerful.
I told him: " I got lost while walking through astral, could you send me to my friend, please?"
And he answered something like: "I can't do that, you are on too high level of astral comparing to her level and I can't change astral levels for you. You need to learn." And I was back inside of my body.

So I've been looking to lucid dream these past couple of weeks since my first one in years three weeks ago.

I've been dream journaling everyday. Reality checking all through the day. Watching movies on lucid dreaming. And reading books on it. So I can carry the Am I dreaming now feeling into the dreams. Well, it worked.

I'm having a shower with a gorgeous girl and her much younger sister. And there's a voice on loudspeakers asking us to shower together, and I take that to mean that we should move closer. We're all already naked. It's pretty platonic (we've been in the shower for the last 8 hours I realise), and I just think I'm going to be 'decent' and not a perv. But they come back with towels wrapped around them. But instead of a shower, I realise we're at a meditation retreat and we start meditating in a grassy meadow. I know I wanted to do a meditation retreat, but didn't know I'd already signed up for it. Someone says I didn't know we'd end up in Louisville (and I realise there's no way I'd end up there and realise it's a dream). I make a joke about, we're not in Kansas anymore. And i begin to drop out of the dream, and it turns wispy and abstract and I think that maybe I had a coffee in real life and thats why I'm having these semi dreams. I feel like I'm just on the fringes of the dream.

Another dream where I'm with my medschool buddies, and think to myself in the dream that I'm tired as I've been up at night trying to lucid dream. And then realise I Am in a dream. But again, it's on the fringes of the dream once I realise it. But once I do realise it, I keep talking to whoever I'm talking to. Not making any sudden moves, and just watching it play out.

In another dream, the same super gorge girl from before comes up to me and gives me a drink with a piece of warm cinnamon cheese (?!!) she's put into it. I realise we're in a dream and think I say it to here. But once I realise I get back on the fringes of the dream again.

In another dream, I'm with Jeffrin, my best bud from 30 years. And I realise it's a dream, and I'm on the fringes of the dream again. We're inside a room and chatting and I think hey, lets just be a dick to him in the dream. So I say, Jeff, you're a real asshole, huh? He doesn't bat an eyelid and comes back to me with 'How's your music practice going?. And I say whoa, you know my weak spots. He says yeah, there's around a half dozen, there's more, but I'm not fussed about them. That teaches me to behave. And I go back to doing what I'm doing on the fringes of the dream environment. And then Suddenly the room becomes fully solid. I walk looking around. Dont make the mistake of telling Jeff this is a dream. And go out on the balcony, and don't want to see or do too much as it would get me out of the dream. I'm thinking I don't want to be cooped inside the house in a dream and want to go out, but again, don't want to make any sudden moves as I want to keep the dream going. Then the super gorge girl comes into the room, and begins to put her trainers on as if to go out. I can't believe my eyes, this is a dream come true within a dream. I get to go out, and I'm going to get jiggy with this super gorge girl (who's been following me around in my dreams and seems pretty into me). But get too excited and the dream drops away.

So whilst not much happened, it's teaching me about getting the hang of lucid dreaming. Once I realise I'm lucid, the dream drops from solidity to a blurry image, and instead of giving up the ghost with that particular dream, I should just stick on, not make any sudden moves or say anything out of the ordinary, and wait for it to turn solid.

Which was something else. In one second I'm sleeping in my bed, and seeing this dream vision in front of me. And the next, I'm in a completely solid room I can walk around in, look out of the balcony overlooking the city night lights and interact with people I've seen in various other dreams.

Spontaneous lucid dream. First one in years (had two others people where I just flew around).

When I'm in my dreams, I completely surprise the people around me by being able to levitate, and glide along the ground. Sometimes raise my body up to 10-20 feet as I almost fly. Angling my body around to change direction, and being able to increase speed by leaning forwards and decrease speed, or come to a stall by leaning backwards.

I've often told myself that I can only do this in dreams, and if I find myself doing it in one of my dreams to realise that it is a dream.

Well, that happened.

I'm flying around in my old medschool campus, and realise hey, I'm flying, this must be a dream. I keep flying, gliding around and come to rest in a garden where people are listening to a talk.

I see a beautiful lady being pestered by this guy who's hitting on her. I know now I've seen her in other dreams. I go up to her and kiss her, and she smiles and I lift her up off her seat, carry her a couple of steps and walk with her. She's happy I've saved her from the sex pest.

I'm walking with her, and tell her this is a dream and I'm completely lucid. I know that she's a theta healer, I've seen her in other dreams, and can also recall that there was a time she slept with someone else at another conference.

She think's it's cool, and helps me down a staircase and lets me into a room where I meet a group of my old friends.

Everything seems absolutely real. Solid, obeying laws of physics. I tell him I've realised I'm in the middle of a dream, and so are they. And they don't believe me. I say, I can prove it. And they don't believe I can. One of them says Hey Ryan wants to prove to us that this is a dream, and asks a couple of guys chatting to be silent.

I say, 'Okay. Count your fingers!'. (you can't count your fingers, and or use light switches in dreams).

And they absolutely shit when they find out. Lots of shouts of whoa! WTF! as they all realise that it really is a dream. I pick something up, a tiny bottle filled with a yellow liquid and I say okay, lets test things out a bit and think about throwing it on the floor. I wonder about pieces of glass, and spilt liquid, that other people have to avoid after I do this. And just as I start to hesitate.... that's when the dream completely dissolves and I'm awake again.

Maybe my mind just couldn't handle keeping so many lucid consciousnesses alive in the dream. Heck, it's a surprise I was able to keep the lucidity going for as long as I did.

The last lucid dream I had was around 5 years ago, when I counted my fingers, realised I was dreaming and instantly took a couple of steps, took a jump and started flying.

I think now this realise I'm dreaming when I'm flying thought has been firmly embedded, I might just have a lot more lucid dreams. Unless that thought makes me stop flying now. But I don't think so. I fly pretty often in my dreams, and in an earlier dream tonight I realised I spooked an elephant when I was flying, and it started to attack me, and I had to drop down to the ground and dodge it standing on the other side of a pillar and.. okay, that's another dream and another story.

2017, 09-26

Game of Dreams – The Mystery Gunslinger

I am outside at night in a place I don’t recognize. The moon is covering the area in a silvery light. I look around and I see wide spaced trees and grass and a few rocks, but nothing particularly interesting. There is a town not far away that looks like something out of an RPG. I wonder where I am and what I am here to do. Then I see movement, someone is approaching the town. A lot of people are trying to stealthily approach the town, though not trying too hard because the moonlight gives them away. The people approaching are a bunch of armed warriors and I know they are there to cause death and destruction. They are all riding horses, but not moving very quickly. I morph my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and move towards the approaching warriors.

When I get close enough for the warriors to see me one of them comes forward, probably their leader. He asks what a lone little girl is doing out here by herself? I say I am here to make sure he and his friends don’t cause any trouble. He asks what if they do? There’s nothing a little girl like me can do to stop them. Since they haven’t seen my Alex Mercer blade yet I hold it out to make sure they do. The man who has been talking to me does a double take and then says I’m not a little girl after all, I’m a little freak… a little abomination… and I will be the first one to die tonight. I ready my blade and tell the man that anyone among them who dares should go ahead and bring it, they’ll soon regret it.

The man who has been speaking to me says he can take care of this alone. He gets off his horse and walks over towards me with his sword ready. He makes a couple attempts to strike me and I block both. He attacks more seriously, but I block those attacks as well. Some of the other thugs are starting to mock him now. He pauses and glares at me, so I say it’s my turn now. I attack him with my blade arm and he blocks with his sword, but this time my blade arm cuts right through it. The man is stunned long enough for my blade to remove his head. The others stare as the man’s body collapses. One of them says I am a monster and must die! They close in around me, one of them says no one does that to a Lannister and gets away with it. So they are Lannisters… that means I am in a Game of Thrones dream.

I really don’t want to hurt any horses here, so I start by sending a telepathic message to each of the horses to buck off their riders. The horses respond and many of the riders fall of because they were unprepared, the rest end up getting off because their horses are impossible to handle or direct. The horses all take off. I say now that the innocents are out of the way I can take care of all those pathetic cowards who were trying to attack a civilian town. Even after what they saw happen to the first man the others are figuring I haven’t got a chance against all of them. I start proving them wrong. I cut down the first couple that come carelessly at me and the others stay back a bit longer, maybe trying to formulate a plan. I don’t think they’re capable of too much of a plan and I attack, cutting another one down.

As this is going on I hear a voice calling, “Save some for me!” That makes me and all of the thugs look over to see a man approaching. One of them asks who the fuck he is, but I know. It’s MoSh! I wonder what he is doing in a Game of Thrones dream, but he doesn’t pause. He pulls out a pair of guns and starts shooting. His shots are perfectly aimed, taking down one of the thugs with each shot targeted directly between their eyes. It seems my arm blade is no longer the most impressive thing here to them, now they are talking about the man who wields thunder in his hands and passes out death with it. One of the enemies near me mutters, “What is he? A wizard?” I say no, he’s a gunslinger, before relieving him of his head. Some of the thugs are running into the town and MoSh follows them. A man is trying to use a crying woman as a shield and I hear MoSh tell him he has forgotten the face of his father before blasting the confused look off of his face, leaving the woman untouched.

I get back to work, as there are far more enemies still around. I cut more of them down as they seem more disorganized than ever, not sure where to go or what to attack. As I am fighting I hear numerous more gunshots sound out and I know MoSh is taking out more enemies since there are no guns here. After a while MoSh and I are standing alone amidst the bodies of fallen enemies, all that remained alive have fled. MoSh comes over to me and holsters his guns, which are clearly genuine gunslinger weapons from Roland Deschain’s world, very fine and powerful weapons. MoSh looks around and then at me. He asks where Roland is. I can’t help but chuckle as I tell him Roland is in a different dream… this is the Game of Thrones world! Everything fades and I wake up.