memorable

Morning of September 13, 1973. Thursday.



I first dreamt of the fictional animal - the “cataroo” (long before the Internet and the potential to see that others had thought of it) at this time. In this case, it has the upper half of a cat and the bottom half of a miniature kangaroo (as it is cat-sized here). It has a very special vindication for me, personally. In this first dream of the “cataroo”, it was in a wicker cat cage with a rounded top, the cage facing west, while in the northeast area of the living room, which remains semi-dark throughout my dream - the small carrying cage itself and its precise appearance as in my dream being something that I had never seen or heard of. This was very precise precognition many years ahead, as my wife had one exactly like it when we got together many years later. Also as in my dream, the door broke off eventually.

The cage was, again, visually exact relative to my more distant future and marriage, but the rest of the precognition was a composite of other factors and facets as it often is - my wife was breeding cats at the time I went to her, and she lived in Australia (thus the cat-kangaroo mix), which I had no real-life association with at all as a boy. This is why I have always firstly looked at dreams as a literal combination of past, present, and future (even distant future) and not symbolic in an obscure or totally unrelated sense that so-called dream dictionaries try to promote.

On a lesser note, this night was the first episode of the second season of “The Waltons” television series (the episode “The Journey”, where there is some unusually complex synchronicity, one facet relating to the December 20, 1960 comic strip “Henry”). This is only relative in that the “mystery girl” or “imaginary girlfriend” and I were intimate when it was on in my dream and with Roosevelt I making a gag of the “watching the Waltons while making love” scenario in real-life. Coincidentally (or yet more subtle precognition), a similar gag was used on an actual (sitcom I think) television show a short time later, but I cannot presently recall the name.

Morning of July 20, 1973. Friday.



I am seemingly somewhat “disembodied” but still aware of being above my bed, looking downwards, perhaps hovering (it is aligned north to south in the southwest corner of my room). For quite some time, nearly a half an hour perhaps, I had been listening to the sound of my mother’s typewriter. For some reason, even though my bedroom door is closed, it sounds rather loud and close to my ears. I seem to fade in and out of this dream several times, still being aware of the typewriter sound, but it is not all that annoying as there are points where it is almost “reassuring” somehow.

Eventually, I see the typewriter on my bed (while still hovering above, seemingly disembodied or in my “orb” form) and invisible hands start to type. As this happens, I hear the opening music to Sandra Gould’s 45 “Hello Melvin (This Is Mama)” from August 1963 (which I had in real life and listened to fairly often at one time). There is no comedic singing or talking, just the music as on the record and with light typewriter clacking, which actually seems more and more reassuring and even soothing as it continues. The typewriter clacking even seems to match some of the musical aspects (mainly the four-note main phrasing) with three-note “answer” clacks after each phrasing (somewhat like a “cha cha cha” element). It seems to go on for several minutes.

Coincidentally, Sandra Gould (who was also one of the actresses who played Gladys Kravitz on the television series “Bewitched”) was born the same month and year of my mother (but nine days later) - July of 1916 - and also died on this date (July 20) in 1999.

Morning of May 6, 1973. Sunday.



I have had a few dreams (early to mid-1970s) of a miniature but “real” Cape Kennedy / Cape Canaveral being set up in my bedroom, living room, or side-yard to the south. In one, outside, seemingly in late morning in Cubitis, I knock the rocket over that was about to launch (it was about three-quarters my size) and watched the “chaos” below with no regret. Still, even though I am supposedly a “giant” in their eyes, everything else (including the houses) was of correct size and to my scale, though there were also some “miniature trees” in my immediate area, only up to about my ankles or so. It was the area between my house and the neighbor to the south, but oriented more towards my front yard. It seemed very realistic (I was semi-lucid any very aware of the details), and it vaguely reminded me of the “Thunderbirds” television show (although the “real miniatures” were much smaller in my dream and there were larger ant-like signs of people and activity).

Night of April 4, 1973. Wednesday.



I am on a four stacker ocean liner very late it night (or an hour or so before dawn) that apparently has left California (even though I live in Florida). There is firstly the idea that the liner is on its way to Hawaii (probably influenced by the Elvis special “Aloha From Hawaii” just aired at this time). However, I do not want to go to Hawaii, but feel I need to keep going all the way to Australia (though I knew little of Australia at the time). I become a bit concerned that the ship is not going as far as it “must” for me to get to my “mystery girl”.

It seems I deliberately jump from the ocean liner but then have a sense of having done something foolish, as the ship is very far from any land. I do not want to swim back to California (which is illogical thinking as I am still within range of the ship) but want to go to the other side of the world to meet the “mystery girl”. I feel a profound sense of sadness regarding my failure to be with my wife on the other side of the ocean - which is unusual in that I am not an adult in reality at the time, though I do sense I will “grow up fast” if I make it to my supposed destiny and important destination. There is a sense that I will likely eventually drown though I have no physical discomfort in-dream. There is an unusual melancholy impression (very vague) of music. It is a three-note progression, followed by a five-note progression, played on something that sounds somewhat pipe-organ-like but more distorted. The almost inaudible sound (which seems to project even more melancholy associations) seems to create or alter the motions of the waves at one point. The sorrow I feel in thinking I will never reach my soulmate (or destined partner in life) is one of the strongest it has ever been in a childhood dream. (This was long-term precognitive as it sounded just like the opening of the Fixx’s song “Reach the Beach”, which was not released until about ten years later in 1983. The album cover also strikes me as reminiscent of my dream. There is also a song called “Liner” on the album which has the lyric “Seen before, back in an infant’s dream” as well as "Liner, it was a fantasy sea cruise. It was a bet destined to lose. Across the waves, what was he thinking?” Therefore, it cannot help but be one of my favorite musical albums as there are numerous other personal associations even though the seeming personal connections are only subtly partial and not directly relevant to the song meanings in reality.)

There are layers of quite different linear formations of colors (mostly perpendicular to the direction I am swimming) representing the ocean - the surface of the ocean being almost continuously rainbow-like in a sense but also dark and very eerie, and I see myself from a distance with my arms up out of the water. I also get the impression that the beach will continue this pattern. Time seems to have “stopped” and the visionary impressions seem to last a long time even after waking.

Afternoon of January 7, 1973. Sunday. In-depth revision on Sunday, 22 April 2018.



Scene one: My dream starts with my semi-lucid dream self walking south beyond the backyard of my Cubitis home (the backyard being on the east side of the house) in late afternoon, close to the railroad tracks. I do not attempt to actively auto-script my dream but I do summon some schoolmates into the setting, which discernibly includes (in order of real-life familiarity) Toby, Brenda, Steve W, Tina, and Sharla. I contemplate experiencing a science-fiction adventure. Walking a short distance from my home, behind what would be the second house south of mine, there is an area where the railroad tracks had somehow seemingly been pulled upwards. Looking up at the bent and twisted railroad tracks, which are at least twelve feet in height, creates vague vertigo. The feature also reminds me of a ladder. From here, we soon come to an old wooden sign, with “FORBIDDEN LAND” (in two rows, that is “FORBIDDEN” written above “LAND”) sloppily painted in red. Despite the sign, I know we are going to explore the area.

Scene two: Eventually, after walking east, we find ourselves in a small isolated town of which has the overall appearance of Dodge City, from the “Gunsmoke” television series, though there are a few additional modern features. When we are inside a restaurant and there is noise outside, like amplified galloping and implications of an earthquake, there are people talking about this event as if it occurs on a regular basis, at a certain time each day around noon. We notice plaster falling from the ceiling as whatever it is passes by, down the dirt street. There are not many cars and most are from the early 1960s. There is talk of a giant white horse. It is said that it is a hundred hands high, which is about 33 feet. I realize that the damage to the railroad tracks was caused by the giant horse galloping across that area. Despite the damage it has caused to the buildings (apparently the people are always rebuilding), the giant horse apparently does not go after people.

Scene three: We make our way up a mountain, but I am on my own in the final view. I am looking down over a large field, mostly featureless except for a lake in the right of my view, though there is also a cluster of trees beyond. The giant white horse was a mother that had been looking for her foal which she has now just found. The giant foal is drinking from the lake, which is not much bigger than him. I sense that they will go north to another land and no longer be problematic for the town. My dream takes on a very peaceful and positive tone. I feel very happy upon waking.

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Threads of scene one explained: The vague vertigo is a dynamic of vestibular system correlation (and the lack of viable awareness of my real physical body as I am sleeping), even in the intriguing ambiguous railroad tracks to ladder association, a ladder implying the potential to rise up from the dream state or augment lucidity.

Threads of scene two explained: My subliminal conscious self chooses the “Gunsmoke” set in recognition of my dream being like a movie or television show (unrelated to real life), which has been the case in a number of other dreams. Additionally, I typically pick the farmland to the east in such dreams (though it sometimes resets to being back closer to my house) as I was unfamiliar with its overall real-life appearance as I had never gone there and could only see some of it from my backyard. This way, my lack of experience with what the area looked like benefited the imaginary layout of my dream (even though my dreams do not render locations correctly anyway, to avoid associations with waking life memory). The restaurant in scene two seemed modeled somewhat after my middle school’s cafeteria, though was only around half the size. The attention to the plaster falling from the ceiling is a focus on liminal space division while in the dream state. It is more linked to vestibular system correlation than is doorway waking symbolism (or other subliminal anticipation of the dream ending).

Threads of scene three explained: In this dream, the emergent consciousness factor, more commonly rendered as an animal in childhood dreams, is the giant white mare. In the final waking event, my dream self, perceived as the foal, due to its incomplete nature while in the dream state, is found by way of the preconscious transition, without any conflict. This is a type of coalescence event which activates consciousness. The final dynamic is the very common water lowering waking symbolism, key autosymbolism for leaving the dream state since early childhood.

Conclusion: The main concept of this dream (the giant horse) was borrowed from the “Arizona Midnight” episode of the “Gunsmoke” television series seen the previous week (January 1). There was also an incidental association with the large plastic black stallion Aurora model that was of a much larger scale than all of my other animal model kits.

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Morning of December 25, 1972. Monday.





This is a dream from Christmas morning of 1972. At the time I was certain that I was sleeping on the floor of the hallway during several false awakenings (I was actually sleeping on the living room floor fairly close to the Christmas tree and did not remember how I got there) - but of course, that would not have made any sense based on what I was seeing - a very strange and vivid state.

In my dream, I am pondering, over a very long time (seemingly several hours) on how a new Pinocchio book was sitting on the record shelf along the north wall, being the outermost book (it was actually a record shelf for 33s, not for books) - “It’s probably an unwrapped Christmas present,” I am thinking - but I am too tired (in my dream) to cheerfully get up and check everything on this Christmas morning. I feel dazed (years later, I learned this was precisely a jet-lag feeling I was seemingly experiencing). I was seeing it in a sort of vague half-aware state yet still saw it “clearly” in one sense. Pinocchio was shown from above the waist and seemed to be holding a violin or something (it was actually Hank Snow holding his guitar) - although I sometimes get the impression it is a large wooden mallet. This turned out in real life to be the cover of “The Best of Hank Snow” record album that my hypnopompic states were warping somewhat whenever I opened my eyes now and then and through false awakenings unrelated to the earlier hypnopompia.

It is also not realistic that I could have even seen this view from supposedly lying on my back in the hallway, fairly close to the back door.

Over time, a dream within a dream (and more vivid) unfolds, I have the recurring “mystery girl” dream (no mystery - this was the girl whose birth I sensed in 1968 and ended up marrying - from a great distance across the ocean to the other side of the planet - that area and Port Kembla are almost perfectly parallel in a diagonal mean and in each case, the hospital within the same close distance to the beach).

She seems sad and on the right side of a fictional doorway in the hallway. The doorway leads into a dark fictional room which is reminiscent of a cave - I have had several variations of this dream. I see the glow of a television which seems not bright enough to be a television even in a dark room. Later I am aware it must be the oven in the real-life kitchenette on the other side of the wall. (Ovens sometimes “replaced” dragons in childhood dreams.) We seem to be in some sort of intimate intended “meeting of minds” but it is mostly uneventful - I simply know she “is my wife”, yet I do hear her “mother”/“dragon” growling and snarling in the room with mostly human-like vocalizations. It is as if the girl is “trapped” by the manipulations of her mother even as an adult who wanted to have her own life (this turned out to be true in every way years later). She is beautiful but it is not the “time” - she is very young in real life at the time. My “jet-lag” makes me feel somewhat embarrassed (even this turned out to be true many years later).

I begin to curiously seem to be in two dreams at the same time (the most has been four simultaneously, to my knowledge). From there, I begin to pantomime the song about Miller’s Cave (only the title for the most part is relevant in this case). Doing a sort of embarrassing pretend-march (rather than just implied normal walking - why march in a cave?) and rather pointless arm movements (almost as if pretending to be a marionette) I look through two sets of eyes at the same time - a very odd awareness - one being “me” there and then in that dream within a dream - the other looking at the supposed Pinocchio book on the shelf thinking I am waking. The echo of the girl’s mother’s growls fade a bit. I sense that she is working on a marionette that I sense is me (first had a similar dream at around age six). Being in the doorway of the “dragon’s” room/cave very briefly I get the impression that Pinocchio is being created in a steel mill in a distant land in the “sizzling fire of the oven”. (Precognition again, my wife’s real father worked in the infamous “Bloodhouse” in Port Kembla.)

My wife’s mother’s maiden name was Miller (more precognition or telepathy in this case).

Finally, I wake into a completely different orientation, location, and position than what I thought I was in. I am somewhat disoriented. But I am happy it is Christmas morning.

This dream confirmed several important elements of my future path in exact detail.

The real, original version of “Pinocchio” is much different than the heavily “watered-down” Disney movie of which I still like. Part of this dream was almost as if to say “Disney represents modern mainstream ‘ignorance is bliss’ (a common consensus play in general - including "Fantasy World and Disney Girls” I mostly heard by the Captain and Tennille); the real Pinocchio story is very cruel and even he is - his feet are even burned off while sleeping at one point.

Synchronicity and other connections:

Hank Snow died on my birthday in 1999 in Madison (Madison is another recurring pattern throughout my life and is a play on Maidstone). However, it was Madison, Tennessee, not Wisconsin. I did not get a Pinocchio book that Christmas, but I did get a View-Master set of the non-Disney story which had the scene of a large snake threatening Pinocchio.

The “Blue Fairy” of the Pinocchio story is intriguingly like my “Blue Pearl” event (which actually resolved into the Blue Fairy in early childhood - the first time being in Christmas of 1969).

Does Hank Snow really look like Pinocchio? No…I do not think so (when awake that is)…

Morning of December 17, 1972. Sunday.



A bear is wandering around in the area near our home in Cubitis. There are no clearer thoughts of my parents or addressing my concerns to them about the bear, as if I do not perceive them as being present (though this is not logical - though many of my childhood dreams were erroneously rendered as such, which may be a natural but vestigial dreaming element, as my parents never left me home alone in reality). I worry about it getting into our house (though this dream has no nightmarish element, only lesser trepidation). At times, it seems of a duller orange coloration, though I think it is a lighter brown (or meant to be) in most scenes. There is a concern which seems to last about a full day and night and there is what seems like at least one “reset”. Throughout this seeming passage of time, I am not aware of any other activities or events.

Finally, the bear finds her three cubs in our backyard (an event which seems to be taking place early in the morning) and the mood of my dream changes completely into a beautiful sense of peace and love as the bear then seems to radiate a sort of light or light rays like the sun (even though it logically seems as if she would have found them before unless they had recently just strayed into that area coming into the backyard from elsewhere). Two of the bear cubs are in the area between our house and our neighbors’ to the south. The third is closer to his mother on her right side.

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This dream combines two forms of waking symbolism, sunrise waking symbolism and coalescence waking symbolism.

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This dream is a wonderful example of rendering two contrasting ideas in the same scene. The mother bear of course represents my mother (especially as it is this dream’s preconscious factor). The cub directly to her right (in the foreground in my viewpoint of the scene) represents me. Farther to the right in this scene, another cub (in the pair of cubs closer to the neighbors’ yard) is also me, but with the third cub representing Lisa. The two of “us” in this pair farther from the mother bear relates to a real day-to-day activity, though the mother bear is still watching them. (This is really not that different from seeing two versions of someone in a dream, or in fact, seeing oneself in a dream as if invisible or incorporeal or seeing two or more versions of the same pet at the same time.) The bear also remains, in the final scene, in the area where my mother hung clothes in real life.

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“Seeing” my mother as a threatening figure from the viewpoint of my dream self (prior to resolving the association in the last act) is really not that unusual. However, there were a number of dreams where the animal symbolism was not resolved as such and seemed limited to biological factors, that is, being “warned” about a potential animal-related event as a biological safety mechanism rather than having an “interpretation”. (I am fairly certain that if a dog dreams about being pursued or attacked by a large animal that the meaning is literal and preparatory, not symbolic.)

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There was a precognitive thread in this dream as well. About a day after this dream, I had gotten, from my older sister Carol, a package containing a number of plastic model kits. One of them was “Black Bear and Cubs”. There were two cubs in the kit, and the bear was not golden, but the associations where very similar.

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Morning of November 6, 1972. Monday.



This 1970s event was hilarious on one level in my opinion. It is one of those dreams where, although it is obviously precognitive (or remote-viewed) it also provides a clever lesson in how the various “filters” in remote viewing and precognition work.

The nuances, as usual, are far too close in detail to have any potential for coincidence. What is intriguing though, is that the usual precise nature of remote viewing or precognition was altered seemingly “on purpose” by the Source. In my dream, humanity is saved from the alien insect invasion by the giant anteater whereas in the real Warren story, they kill it before knowing what it is.

The dream itself came a short time before the validation (as is often the case), but as I said, it was not quite correct. The giant anteater in my dream coming up from the ocean is a distortion caused by the association with the “ocean” of the unconscious mind (otherwise the plot is mostly the same).

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In my dream, I am reading a black-and-white comic magazine of the type that Warren publishes (such as Eerie, Creepy, Vampirella, etc). I did not read this issue at the time (and had not gotten the previous issue) in real life and I could not have known about it.

I seem to be hovering over the comic magazine story at various distances and over different pages rather than turning the pages. (My bed is in the southwest corner, aligned to the west wall.) It has a very similar mood and awareness as to remote viewing dreams (as with the “more dishes less dishes” Nancy comic strip event). The story features a spacecraft with talking alien ants that invade Earth. They kidnap various people and they speak in an unusual “electronic” voice (possibly implying that they are either robotic or using some sort of electronic translator).

In my dream, a giant anteater emerges from the ocean. I see it eating all the human-sized alien ants and this is the last panel in the story. There is a smaller inset with text implying irony and repeating the words the “conqueror ants” had said midway through the story about how they would take over the planet and not be stopped. This is how my dream ends - with reading phrases the ants had spoken and which are now only invalid concepts in the wake of their destruction (in being eaten by the giant “aquatic” anteater, which had come from a large meteorite of many years back).

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After my dream, I was given a black-and-white comic magazine in reality (without having known I would be getting it), which had the same basic idea, and this was “Eerie” issue number 45 - the relevant story being called “The Mound”. However, the alien insects were not fully humanoid and the top panel on the last page is actually that of a dead anteater that was killed by the humans due to them thinking that the meteorite contained an enemy or an additional problem as the creatures they were already dealing with. Thus my dream echoed help from a “bigger power”, hope, and salvation, while the reality expressed the nature of human ignorance, suspicion, and acting without thinking about the consequences.

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I still have very fond feelings about this experience, which also teaches me that people who are “psychic” for profit are not being realistic, because what they are seeing may have a completely different outcome in reality.

Age 11. Morning of November 4, 1972. Saturday. About 8:00 a.m.

Dream #: 2,147-07. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



My emerging consciousness and waking-life identity exist, but I am still dreaming, though I correctly recognize the location of my body as being in bed in my Cubitis home. It is morning.

An airplane flies over the area, its flight path and linear distance from the front of our house (though as high in the sky) correlating with my school bus route. (I am aware of this correlation as I dream, though it is Saturday. I had let go of my expectation of attending school.) I see the airplane’s underside as it flies from north to south.

A cage falls from the airplane, though moving slightly east as it falls so that it lands in our front yard about ten feet from my windows. (I vaguely consider it a gift from my dream girl, though possibly a mistaken delivery which replaced my gift with someone else’s). Inside the cage is the Warner Brothers cartoon character, the Tasmanian devil, though he is Pepto-Bismol pink. He seems about my height. He does not make any attempt to escape. I do not perceive him as a threat to me, despite his behavior (like exercising his mouth and waving his arms). I awake with a sense of amusement.

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“Something coming down” is a prevalent dream event as a result of vestibular cortex arousal during the waking process. Associations with flight occur throughout every sleep cycle as a result of my lack of physicality. This status also results in the rendering of a cage in this instance that represents my emerging awareness of how I cannot move my physical body as I sleep.

The Tasmanian devil, as the cortical arousal simulacrum, represents a visual association and expectation. I often woke around this time to watch “The Bugs Bunny Show.” There are influences from “Devil May Hare” and “Bedevilled Rabbit.” (In some cases, a tornado would represent the process, though it is important to note the Tasmanian devil cartoon character travels about in a miniature tornado.)

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On a personal spiritual level, I saw a Tasmanian devil at a zoo not long after I met Zsuzsanna (my dream girl). I had traveled to Australia by airplane. I only include this because of the correlations. For example, “When Worlds Collide” (1951) had aired the night before (November 3, 1972, though I had chosen to watch “The Valley of Gwangi” again as it was on at the same time). “When Worlds Collide” was the chief influence of my dream “The Pink Planet” from November 6, 1971. It had aired the night before in that case as well. In that dream, a Pepto-Bismol pink twin version of Earth was coming in view as I looked up to see Australia. In my “Wild Weasel” dream from 1969, a “real” Tasmanian devil (called a “weasel” as I did not know what real Tasmanian devils looked like at the time) traveled in a small tornado, and Brenda (validated stand-in for Zsuzsanna) and I hid from it as it remained beyond a frosted glass door (wall mediation).

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2 minute 20 second read.

Saturday morning, 7 October 1972. (Rewritten for clarifications on 21 June 2022.)

The Sally Struthers Autograph

Dream # 2,119-05.



Some people might incorrectly claim the foundation of this dream is a "false awakening," but it originated from semi-conscious summoning and maintaining it with partial lucidness. However, there were sparsely occurring "false awakenings" (but not in the conventional sense) later in this sleep cycle.

To clarify, I thought I had been awake a few times before morning when I was not (though this was more like false memories of brief dreams that did not occur), mistakenly confirming "Sally Struthers" was written on the page. (There was no resemblance to her real-world autograph). The outcome was that it was not her name but "sepia" written in cursive in real life. (Even if it had been her name, it would have been me who had written it.) The word was on the right-hand page, slightly above the center. As a boy, I had written that it might have been confusion with the word "sleepy." Ultimately, trying to remain alert enough throughout the night to write in my dream journal immediately after a dream was something I felt was problematic. I never had trouble recalling multiple dreams in vivid detail every morning, so it was unnecessary.

In my dream, actress Sally Struthers, dressed informally in blue jeans and an orange sweater, visits me around midnight in the darkness of my Cubitis bedroom. She stands in the southwest quadrant of my room near the head of my bed. She seems younger, probably from my associations with her teenage persona of Pebbles in the cartoon.

As she leans over me (as I do not get out of bed), she tells me about the work she will be doing to help people in poverty and her pending activism (Christian Children's Fund, which became a scandalous organization in 1994, and public service announcements). She wants to sign her name on a page of my dream journal (that, in real life, was open on the desk near the head of my bed) to prove to me that she had been here.

I was familiar with her acting in "All in the Family," the movie "Five Easy Pieces," and (as aforementioned) voicing Pebbles in "The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show."

There is unaccountable content here. Sally's appearance and persona are more like Fran Clinton in "The Getaway," but that movie did not come out until December 1972. Odder is how, according to sources, she only became the Christian Children's Fund spokeswoman in 1976.

Because the movie ("The Getaway") was already in production when I had this dream, it is demonstrably more from a co-occurrent "non-local" perception rather than "seeing the future." (That is certainly true for my continual "communication" with Zsuzsanna before we learned of each other in waking life.)

The content regarding the Christian Children's Fund and the charity work she became known for is likely from a type of perception people do not fully understand yet. I do not think it is "seeing the future." Because they approached her as such, it must have been for a discernible reason, something I impersonally perceived (for no particular reason for me). With Zsuzsanna, it is different and an unknown factor continually linking us together all our lives on many levels.

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1 minute 10 second read.
Thursday morning, 13 September 1973. (Zsuzsanna's birthday before we made real-world contact.)
The Marble Giant (Statue of Liberty Sinks)
Dream # 2,460-03.




Although, in reality, the Statue of Liberty is iron and copper, my dream mistakenly renders it as being made of lighter-colored marble.

The Statue of Liberty comes to life in a long surreal narrative. At times, I seem to know "her" thoughts. "She" wades through the harbor and, "says goodbye" as she sinks into the water during what is seemingly a deliberate act. My dream's narrative has the essence of a movie, but my dream self is the only human character. (However, there is an occasional association that some people might see her as looming or threatening.)

My dream presents a vague backstory (more as if I am putting a "meaning" into it as I am experiencing it), almost like an obscure second "movie" about Sandra R, a female classmate. I only knew her in one grade in middle school. (Her essence may "be" the statue at one point, though there have been different versions of this dream.)

However (years later), Zsuzsanna told me something that also made me realize the statue might have also been, on one level, a precursor to our meeting in waking life despite the typical causality of this dream's narrative.

Statues have always appeared in my dreams every sleep cycle as a REM atonia indicator (physical immobility while sleeping). As water signifies the dynamics of sleep, a statue coming to life and sinking into the water is merely being vaguely aware of coming to my senses before falling asleep again. Even so, there is possibly an additional spiritual element here because of how my dream self perceives the narrative.

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Morning of August 13, 1972. Sunday. (Online entry extensively expanded for additional background and clarity and resupplemented on Friday, 1 September 2017.)



This dream, from age eleven and during summer break after completion of fifth grade on June 2nd, occurs in the state of apex lucidity, where my dream self is fully corporeal, including in weight and momentum, with all the physical dynamics and augmented senses as in waking life. In this state, full control can be maintained by the conscious self identity. Since age four, I had been involved in my own continuous experiments with the dream state, including, on some days, several hours of specific affirmations (and other types of preparations) prior to sleep.

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In reality, I am sleeping on my back, my feet southward. The foot and right side of my bed are against walls with tall jalousie windows with the head of my bed being open into my room. The entrance to my room is to my left, on the opposite side of my room. Although it is daylight, my eyes are covered with a pillowcase (of an additional pillow than the one my head is on) from behind my head.

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Surprisingly, there is still some vivid hypnagogia, where I am still able to willingly return to the dream state. The hypnagogic virtual “slideshow” is slow enough to eventually choose the setting that I want to “step into”. However, because it is morning and circadian rhythms dictate that most of my sleep cycle is over, most of the settings (cycling at about one per second) display primarily featureless fields, though there is still the residual essence of water (which symbolizes sleep dynamics and the metaphorical tidal aspects of dreaming that seem to be based more on the glymphatic clearance pathway rather than always correlated with Earth’s tidal dynamics). I step into a setting without surrendering my conscious self identity.

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I step onto slightly damp ground, somewhat marshy and squashy. The grass is nearly up to my knees, though sparse in some areas. I decide to see what would happen if I run with my eyes closed. Would my dream change?

I start happily running barefoot and I feel as if I have a lot of energy. I keep my eyes open for a few minutes. The open field is slightly less marshy over time (the “water lowering” waking symbolism precursor, which has been documented hundreds of times since childhood and still works as such over fifty years later).

I continue to run, now with my eyes deliberately closed, through the slightly muddy grassy field. The marshy ground is bordered by drier ground with denser and shorter grass as I run joyfully, with an incredible sense of freedom and appreciation. The sound changes slowly over time, from my footfalls producing shallow splashes of water (which I find wonderful) to the slaps of drier ground. There are no buildings visible anywhere, including in the distance.

Eventually, I decide to open my dream self’s eyes to see where I am now. Despite the continuous vivid perception up until now of cheerfully running through an open field in mid-afternoon, I now suddenly find myself at the top of a tall ivory tower, looking out over mostly featureless grassy ground. (The tower mostly resembles the Sather Tower, which I have never been inside in reality.) I puzzle over this change. I do not recall running up a winding staircase (or changing direction as such, which would have been required in the implied smaller area) which my present location would seem to indicate (though I do not know what the inside of the Sather Tower is like).

My puzzlement increases and I decide to leave my dream (though remaining curious about the results of my experiment), which I do deliberately by phasing out of my dream self’s body, phasing through the wall of the tower behind my dream self’s body, and flying up and out of my dream (a recurring way I deliberately left the dream state by way of my conscious self identity, more so in my childhood and teenage years).

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In post-hypnopompia, I realize that the tower was the rendering of my emergent consciousness, the symbol of my growing conscious self identity (which is sometimes personified as another character just as the preconscious sometimes is though I was the only dream character in this case), watching over the dream state, which relates to the experiment analogy (just as a person would look over the setup of their experiment). Additionally, there was an influence from Cathy Carr’s recording of “Ivory Tower” (from 1956). I actually feel as if I had been running for a long time, as my legs feel slightly tired (though there is no evidence I had been moving my legs or moving at all in reality).

Despite this dream being a result of apex lucidity, I can relate it to some waking life elements, one prescient. I began sixth grade August 28th (which was to be held in a different building), about two weeks after this dream, thus there may be a “testing” of seeing myself in a higher position. However, there is ambiguity with that concept in that, although my three middle school years (fall 1972-summer 1975) took place in a one-storey building, my earlier grade classes took place on the second floor (though that relates to physical dynamics, not emotional).

In terms of prescience, the specific date marker (which remains unexplainable in terms of what people understand about the perception of time, as same-date prescience occurs far too often to be coincidental) was based on never having been in a tower in real life until much later during a middle school summer break, with my sister Carol (older half-sister on my mother’s side) and her husband Mel, which I had never expected. (I did not even know they would be coming to Florida until about a week before their visit.) This was a journey to the top of the Lake Placid Tower in Florida, which was a wonderful day for me.

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Morning of July 8, 1972. Saturday.

Dream #: 2,028-02 and 2,028-03. Reading time: 2 min 16 sec.



I seem to be in Arcadia, but before my dream fades, I may have been in Chicago. (At one point, a fictional “Long Pond, Chicago” is discerned as if Chicago was a state). (The setting seems bilocated with the Cubitis house’s living room, though the ceiling would be too low to resolve as such in reality.) It is part of a big clothing store in an area where many other shops line the street. Inside the main building, which seems to be a part of Walgreens, but with glass counters like ones in a jewelry store in most parts of the huge room, is a “model” (but still about twelve feet high or more) ziggurat near the center of the room. This ziggurat almost reaches the very high ceiling and seems made of lead and iron. It is mostly black, with horizontal darker gray and red parts, with sparse truncated silvery ledges, though more like a square pyramid with steps (of about fifty-five degrees) on all four sides. (I later see the view from above as my dream fades.)

A presumably deceased male of about thirty, in a black business suit, is in a casket-like structure directly connected to the inner area of the top of the undersized “ziggurat.” There seems to be a reason for this regarding the man being a manager of the stores (in being “at the top” as associated with having authority). In the last scene, I am looking down at the top of the ziggurat from above and seeing myself ascending the stairs as if my perception is floating within an incorporeal form. There is uncertainty in climbing to the top but no fear. (Coincidentally, Walgreens was, according to one source, founded in Chicago in 1901, the year my father was born, though we had never lived in Chicago. I had no idea who the man was. The idea of “revival” comes to mind, but I cannot decide if it is relating to music or bringing the businessman back to life.)

In another dream later in the morning, there is something about confusion over the name Irving and the act of carving. It sets off a “game-like” song about Washington Irving (the writer) and George Washington Carver (the scientist). Vaguely, I am trying to force myself to remember what the fictional act of “irving something” (such as wood or stone) means. It may be a type of carving, but with thinner layers, I reason.

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Additional notes (added in April 2014): “Concert 10 was a rock concert at Pocono International Raceway in Long Pond, Pennsylvania on July 8 and 9 of 1972. The event attracted an estimated 200,000 people who were met with cold inclement weather, replete with rain and mud. The general atmosphere of the concert was compared to the Woodstock Festival of 1969. Concert 10 represented a successful revival of the American summer rock festival after the repeated failure of U.S. festivals during the previous two years.”

“Concert production was handled by Concert 10, Inc. First time concert producers Irving Reiss, vice president of the Candygram Company…”

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My dream self climbing the steps indicates a subliminal effort to return to consciousness. The corpse at the top of the structure is a distorted perception of my sleeping body (a dream sign of the first level). See my series, “Staircase Autosymbolism and Dream State Mediation” for important revelatory notes on dreams of this nature.

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Morning of July 2, 1972. Sunday.



This dream was very vivid and the scene repeated at least once on the same morning.

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I am riding in the back seat of a car that my father is driving and my mother is in the front seat to his right in the most vivid version. We seem to be going north through a more isolated area of Highway Seventeen (now called Cubitis Avenue) in Florida, past Brownville. I continuously look out the window to my right.

On the wayside of the highway (which does not seem well-maintained and does not seem wide enough for two lanes of traffic unless one drives on the wayside when passing or coming from the other direction), is a cougar in mid-leap, remaining motionless in the air as if time had somehow stopped (for the cougar only). It is facing south, in the opposite direction of where we are headed, never moving. There appears to be some sort of time barrier, where, when it leaped, it got stuck in an area where time moves much more slowly (or does not flow at all). Later, time seems to pass between this and the next scene where we are again going north in presumably the same car yet I am supposedly a year or two older. The cougar is still there in a similar position but now a front paw is lightly touching the ground.

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Dreams obviously have meaning, but the meaning is primarily relevant to the real-time biological symbolism of sleeping, dreaming, and achieving consciousness. In this case, despite the mystical, or if one prefers, science-fiction theme of this dream, the motionless cougar is simply an incidental but unique dream state indicator that my physical body is unmoving as I sleep. The leaping cougar as being an emergent consciousness precursor relates to both coalescence (as a cougar can capture or even eat the dream self “back into whole consciousness”) and liminal space. This becomes far more obvious when one studies tens of thousands of dreams over fifty years as I have.

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Unlike most other dreams where there is the presence of a cougar, there is no fear here. I only feel puzzled by the animal’s fate.

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Last checked and supplemented on Thursday, 10 August 2017.

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Night of June 9, 1972. Friday. Several false awakenings (and likely real awakenings) occur throughout the night.



Not much drama happens. My dream starts late at night but part of it (or similar scenes) repeat the next morning.

I go into the bathroom late at night or very early in the morning (before dawn). There is a large fictional (rectangular lengthwise) window on the south wall of the bathroom that almost seems more like a poster or enlarged photograph. It implies that our house is on a very high floor of a skyscraper. I look out the “window” and see that many lights are on in the skyscraper across from our “house”. In one window is the silhouette of a person holding up a knife to another person. One even seems to have someone sleeping with a couple letter “Z” shapes above their head.

Behind the door of the medicine cabinet, I am aware that there is a city in “another world”. In that city (which may be Chicago or New York), at night, is a large shaggy monster that wanders about the streets, possibly about twelve to fifteen feet high, but of mostly human form otherwise. I hear it roaring in the distance several times. Even though I am supposedly up high and not in the same “world” as the creature on the other side of the medicine cabinet, I have thoughts about a smaller form of the “same” monster being in this world but somehow invisible and able to move things a bit (but not cause that much damage or trouble). He would always be opposite the distance and such from where the “real” creature is and having the most tactile power the closer to the mirror/portal from “his” side. These thoughts are a bit muddled and ambiguous, though. I think about buying a map of the creature’s route (even though it would likely be a random “route” each night) but I would have to go through the hole in the wall to buy it and am not sure I would even fit through. The monster is likely no real threat (as I am supposedly high up as well as the hole being too small for much of anything to get through), but there is still a somewhat eerie (but not nightmarish) atmosphere.