Recent DJ Posts

Some really good dreams this past couple of days. Someone must have really liked my last entry!

Jamie 1

I'm outside a bar with Jamie. The same one from a while ago. It's a real place in Didsbury, the two bars facing one another practically across the street. Jamie is just being goofy. She has these napkins and keeps putting chipotle sauce on napkins and trying to make me eat it. WTF. No Chick-Fil-A sauce?

Jamie 2

Same place again. It's night time. We are alone and it's really late. Jamie goes up to an old grey car and starts trying to remove the headlight.

A bunch of other jamie flashes but they are too short to comprehend.

Next night:

Family outing

I'm with family in calgary, apparently visiting my Mom. We are in a park near the bow river but everything looks different than normal. I'm up on a hill and below is a grizzly bear, but it seems friendly. I find a bounce thing that propels you in the air. I jump on it and fly high over bridges. When I land I'm in a truck with my dad. We are in an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly I'm in a mall and Jamie is on my right and my dad is on my left. He make a really rude comment when we pass by some ice cream and smoothie stand. There's two small vats with flavored milk with a beater in each. He says since me and Jamie are lovers we should get an idea from those mixers... It makes no sense but it sounds sexual and rude. I just ignore it. I try to lean against Jamie while I walk and she almost stumbles or trips. I apologize and she puts her arm around me. I notice I'm eating a bunch of mini plain doughnuts from a small paper bag. I go to eat one and Jamie tries to grab it out of my hand. I give it to her. I say, "I don't like the taste of these anyway." As they are pretty bland. That's all I remember.

Audio only dream

I hear both me and Jamie reciting The Lord's Prayer together.

The real Jesus.

In my vision I see something like a nice painting. It resembles Jesus Baptizing Jamie in a stream.

I really hope it's true.

I was in my car checking my phone to see when it would be 1:30 pm to meet up with a group function I was in. I was trying to lower the volume on my phone and noticed it was acting weird. It would go to video's I never click on before and play music on its own. I decided to ignore it and got out of my car once it was 1:30. Outside appeared to be very cloudy as I made my way to the store.

While in the store I was checking certain items out when two people catch my attention. They seem familiar to me in this dream as I do not know them in waking life. They came closer to me to check out the items. Both were quite tall with blonde hair and the taller one was wearing glasses. If I had to make a guess I'd say they are from Irish descent. The taller one and I made eye contact as if we understood this was not our first encounter.

After that they went in to a different section of the supermarket. I started thinking to myself something feels strange. That's when a Youtuber I watch came behind and was staring at me as well. Didn't say anything but just stared and then walk away. That's when I knew something is wrong here and gave my vision a full view of what I was surrounded by. At the front of the supermarket was a man outside unable to get in to the store.

His eyes were complete black as if he was possess with something. I look to him as he begin to say something bad is going to happen and that you need to leave the store. At first seeing him made me feel slightly anxious but it started to all click to me as I began to open the door.

He then lunge at me as soon as the opportunity arrived and I caught his hand and smile. I could feel fear emitting from him as the feeling of lucidity grew more and more from with in me. It felt as if I transfer the feeling I had to him. I pick him up with one arm and started running with him through the door. As I am running with him in my hand , I tell him I am one with everything here and that anything I believe I can do will happen.

I then punch a truck side door as it was in our way. I then jump high up in the air in to the forest. With him still in my hands I look to find a place to meditate as I wanted to progress with my development. Then a bear suddenly comes and attacks me from behind. I told myself again there is no threat, this bear is not capable of causing me harm. Although the pain started to disappear , the bear did succeed in causing me enough distraction to let go of the man and to make me attempt to fly in the air.

It didn't work and I was floating mid air for a few seconds before dropping back to grassy fields. It was nighttime outside so I had a hard time seeing where the bear was but I could feel it was near. That's when I decided now is the right time to do meditation. As I sat down I could hear the bear get closer and attack me again but not too long everything in the environment broke down and I was in a darkness alone with only my awareness.

After 10 seconds of meditating, I felt a different feeling beginning to happen. Enough to make me try to open my eyes but it wasn't working. That's when I felt my body detach from something and was feeling weightless. The same chocking feeling in my neck occur as I struggle to breathe. As I move my body I felt nothing attach to it, I stayed calm and soon the grip around my neck disappeared.

That's when I could feel myself reattaching to my body with no success. I began to worry if I could ever get back in my body because it was taking too long. But once I was fully relax in my mind it happen. I felt a strong pull and felt myself moved up with in my body and then I woke up. I saw my father talking to my mother on the phone as he seemed busy.
I look at my hand to confirm if I was awake or not but then I woke up again.

Some in-line notes.

23rd December 2021

Recall was left too long and could only retain vague fragments.

Fragment:

Something about being at old home, I'm in my room and it's sunny outside, though my curtains are drawn closed. They're the old white and yellow diamond curtains. I am moving towards my desk in the corner and feel the need to self-pleasure, but something makes it feel like I can't.

Then, something about going for an appointment. I am briefly outside. The light in the dream seems off somehow, like there's too much shade despite being daytime and how sunny it is, but I don't realise any of this while dreaming. Something happens in regards to me going to the appointment or something, and then I'm home. (Did this scene happen first?)

Fragment:

I'm outdoors and I was in a car before. The place I'm in is a forest and I eventually go through a cave too. There's a relatively small female black bear character, which has something anthropomorphic about it. I want to kill it using a rifle, and kite the bear around all over the place, at one point the bear becomes enraged (like a game buff) and I have awareness that a single hit from the bear could kill me. (Similar feel to being the scout on DRG and kiting a dangerous enemy)

Another half-anthro animal was involved in this at one point.


24th December 2021

Fragment:

It's relatively bright but not exactly sunny. I'm in our bedroom with H, who's on the bed and then there's something that means I have to get up. At one point, we have an interaction with H's grandfather, who's apparently staying with us. (He passed away a couple of years ago, but it feels like yesterday) He knows about us sleeping in the same bed, and doesn't seem to mind.

No lucidity unfortunately. For whatever reason I felt like my brain was too tired. Also no horny dreams tonight lmao

• I had a dream that I took 2 ibuprofens because I was sore. Yeah, that was the entire dream.
• I had another dream, and I woke up in the middle of the night and was thinking “I should write this down” but then I passed out again.
• Apparently I got donuts with a friend of mine? I don’t remember this. Plus something illegible that I can't read now.
• I had a dream that I only had $940 in my bank account EUGH that is terrifying.
• I had a dream that my cat kept biting me and her tail for some reason. It was painful, unlike the bite of the tiger I experienced a few nights back which actually quite felt nice. I was annoyed because my cat definitely is not a biter in the waking world. She is very nice and will only bite in self-defense, if at all. I've never been bitten by her before so idk where this dream came from.
• I was going through different houses for a run. The houses were along a pier, and for some reason, the route kept taking me INSIDE OF these houses. Like into people’s personal rooms and stuff as part of the run. So I’m like running and pushing chairs and crap out of the way, and people are looking at me while seeming very confused. I was also quite confused. The entire pathway on the pier was like this, just going into random people's houses. At the last house at the end of the pier, I saw some weird-looking bears, walking by the ocean (or possibly on top of the water). But someone in the house said they weren’t bears, but rather giant racoons or something? Idk but they were mammalian. I turned around and they started chasing me. I then became either a lion or a tiger and I started jumping over houses and stuff to get away from the bears. I also hopped in and out of multiple zoo exhibits, which existed on the pier for some reason.
• I was with a group of friends, but all of them were dream characters that I don't know IRL. I had memories, which I’ve now forgotten, of a great trip that we had, and we had all known each other for a very long time within the dream's narrative. We were at an airport, and all said goodbye to each other.
• I was in a less-nice part of some big city, but it also looked like a super run-down Chinatown? In the narrative of the dream I had lived there before in the past. I had a memory of going there with other people. It was nighttime, lots of lights, a bit sketchy.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Hanging out with Riverstone and Nighthawk. We are sitting on the floor or something like a big mattress, we are talking and playing some game. I am closer to Nighthawk, who is to my right and Riverstone is across the floor/mattress, opposite of us and a bit more distant. I am sharing something with Nighthawk and naturally there are hands touching, then I lean over his leg. With innocence, I stay close to him and we kinda cuddle up. I caress his leg, he caresses my hair and it is the most natural thing in the world. But Riverstone gets all jealous and threatens him. Says if he chooses to go down that road, their friendship is over and to think it through. I say it doesn't have to be like that, but he insists I have to chose. And I say "don't make me chose because you won't be the winner." But for the moment we all break apart to clear the mood. I go outside and I get to some platform from which emergency stairs go down. I see I am really high up. There is a river below and I see some people floating on some platforms that I understand are pieces being placed at a construction project on the river, maybe a bridge is gonna be built. On the shore I see a grizzly bear approaching a person, doesn't seem aggressive though, so I keep quiet. But then someone comes and warns of another bear climbing up the stairs and we climb down this structure through the sides, avoiding the stairs. When we reach ground floor, unfortunately we encounter two black panthers someone keeps on a chain, leaving only a few centimeters of space between them, through where we can pass and is damn scary. We have to go inside the building to go out through the front door, but the panthers break the chains and we have to run up the emergency stairs again, keeping in mind the bear and the panthers. A lot of parkour and climbing and dangling dangerously dozens of meters above the ground, but we kinda escape. Then I spot my cat Yéti on the ground and the panthers going after him. Luckily they don't harm him, he escapes, but I now want to rescue him at all cost. I go down again and devise a plan to lock the panthers in some room. Doesn't go well and I lock myself with Yéti in a room, while one panther escapes to the street and the other tries to break our door down. I go out through the window but the one outside catches my foot and I wake up from the pain of the bite.

A set of recurring bear dreams.


Mid October, 2017

I was in a variation on my aunt F and uncle C's house where a party was being held. There were so many strange and quirky characters there that it felt more like an indoor carnival. In one room I met a woman who was the caretaker of a semi-trained bear. People took turns meeting the bear, warily, before leaving, fully amused by their encounter. It was a black bear, small as bears go but still large enough to do some serious damage if it wanted to. It followed me around in particular and it kept resting its head in my lap every time I sat down. Each time I would feel a little on edge despite its outward displays of affection. I was worried about making the wrong move and setting off its wilder instincts. After the fourth or fifth time I started to even feel annoyed, not wanting to have to stay on my toes all the time. The caretaker woman seemed to sense my annoyance and she came up to me saying, “It is a great honor to be chosen by a bear.” I wandered out of the room, thoughtful, but not entirely convinced.

***

Thursday Night, 11/7/19

See "The Jaguar Woman" entry.

***

Tuesday Night, 6/30/20

I was someone else, a man in his 40's I think, outside at the edge of a forest as dusk was approaching. I morphed to resemble my waking self. I began climbing a large arbor for some reason, treating it like a jungle gym. While I was up there, I discovered a baby elephant hanging from its trunk in the arbor I was climbing. I stared at it for a while, confused by how it got up there. It changed into a bear cub. Das showed up. He thought the baby bear was cute and wanted to pet it indefinitely. I began to think about the implications, however, and I started looking around nervously for the mother. It appeared to be alone out here, but I was still wary.

"We shouldn't have put our scent on the cub." I told Das, "The mother will smell us and get angry if she's around."

Das shrugged. "I'm not worried. Look! He wants pets!"

I sighed and edged my way down the arbor. "Come on." I said, trying not to be too loud, "It's almost night time, we need to leave the forest now if we want to get clear of wherever the mother bear is at." I started creeping quietly away from the arbor and towards a sparser area of trees.

Das shrugged again but reluctantly stopped petting the cub and trailed along behind me.

I started to hear sounds in the bushes and a low rumble, and I realized the mother bear had arrived. For a moment I picked up the pace but continued to try to be as quiet as possible, hoping we might somehow get away before it finished locking onto our location. I searched my mind for what to do in case of a bear attack, and I remembered to play dead. The mother bear showed herself, blocking our path. I realized we weren't going to make it. The bear roared angrily and charged at us, knocking down Das first. Then she ripped into me (which didn't hurt as much as one would expect) and I got to see my intestines, right before my right eye was detached from its retina and everything went dark. I woke up. "Damn it Das..." I said out loud.

***

Thursday Night, 11/5/20

I'm talking with my parents outside on the deck when an adolescent black bear wanders into our back yard and we notice it has an abscess on the right side of its head. My mom wants to go over to it and treat it. I'm also worried about the bear's health, but I do not think it's a good idea to go up to it like that. I suggest maybe calling a wildlife center instead. "I have some leftover antibiotic ointment from when the cats were sick, I'll go get it!" My mom says and goes back into the house. My dad laughs at us and goes back inside to the other side of the house.

I follow my mom and try to get her to reconsider, but she doesn't listen to me. "Well, here it goes!" She starts heading back outside with the ointment.

"Mom, no!"

My mom jumps a little, startled. "Ah, you scared me!"

"You should be scared, it's a bear!" I look away for a moment, wondering about the wildlife center idea again, but when I look back I see that my mom is way out in the yard heading towards the bear.

For whatever reason I decide I have no choice but to do things my mom's way now. The least I can do is try to mitigate the danger so she doesn't get attacked... But this is probably a bad move. I head outside and my mom is scaring the bear towards the fence and towards me. I'm worried it will feel cornered. I backtrack a little and grab a bag of cat treats as it's the only thing I can get to quickly. I manage to get the bear's attention with the food, tossing a handful of treats on the ground in front of it to distract it. My mom comes up behind the bear with the ointment. The bear finishes the treats very quickly so I keep having to scramble to get handful after handful ready. I'm worried about the gaps of time where the bear might get aggressive. "When I say stop, stop until I can get more treats." I tell my mom, convinced the bear needs to be distracted with the process eating to not notice her. It's a dubious plan to begin with but I'm clinging to it.

My mom is applying the ointment to the bear, but I'm struggling to get the next set of treats out of the bag. The bear is slowly starting to look up. "Stop." I say. My mom does not stop. The bear looks directly at me with dark black eyes. "Stop, stop." I say again. Still no response from my mom. I imagine I can see impatience developing in the bear's expression, although it's hard to tell. "STOP!" I'm trying not to be too loud, but I'm starting to panic. I finally get the last of the treats out of the bag and toss them on the ground.

"Done!" My mom exclaims cheerfully.

"Mom, get inside, quick." I say anxiously. I make sure she makes it inside while the bear's still eating, then I go in myself and close the screen door first. Why am I bothering to close the screen door first? It's not going to stop a bear and I'm wasting time... I think and close the sliding glass door as quickly as I can. I can see the bear standing in the yard, eyeing the bag in my hand as if annoyed there are no more freebies.

***

Monday Night, 11/23/20

I'm in a building I don't recognize. My dad is there and says something very mean to me, although I can't remember exactly what it was or why it happened. Rather than feeling hurt or scared, I suddenly feel a deep anger come up as the full implication of the words sink in. "I am not stupid." I yell powerfully. My dad disappears but I yell it again. It seems to be irrelevant that no one is around anymore. I can see out a window onto the unfamiliar street outside. It's night time and raining a little. I still feel the anger, like a raw energy. I open my mouth and a bear's roar comes out, a guttural rumbling. I stop, confused at the ability to make such a sound and feeling self conscious, thinking people will think I'm weak for being too emotional and sounding ridiculous. Then I decide I don't care, even if anyone was around to hear. Twice more, I let out the bear's roar which resolves into a more human sounding scream. The dream fades.

9th June 2020

Catching up on DJ again.

Dream:

(last part, my original notes sort of start at the end but cycle back to this point in some way)

Was in a WoW-like game or reality. There was this nest on a cliff I had to reach from this insanely long ladder along another cliff face. I wasn't sure how high I had to climb before I'd be able to make the jump towards the nest.

At some point I jumped and I remember sort of gliding a bit, eventually reaching the nest. I remember noticing a book covered in twigs and small bones. I looked this up on a popular WoW database to read comments on either the book or this location. Then I wiped it clean (from what? dust?) but don't recall what happened after that.

Some guy riding a bear mount? Not sure. Then I remember myself, taking off the ground on a nether drake. I flew up a bit but not that much. There were Shattrath guards following after me through a forest that was not like Terokkar next to the city. The guards were throwing hammers of wrath at me as they pursued, most hitting me but doing little damage although this was whittling my health points away.

I knew we were still in the Outlands because there was a cliff's edge, and nothing but void beyond and below; I remember the characteristic Nagrand-like sky. I rode my drake over this threshold of sorts and from past the edge, looped under the floating land mass, hiding there with my drake in some sort of underground cave area...

I saw blood elves fly over and away on their bloodhawks toward the endless horizon and void. The distraction worked and I lost them. Then I left the bottomless "cave" underground and went much higher than before. Something was happening and a massive black dragon was appearing and the sky also dramatically changed to darkness and red tones. There was some NPC shouting something, but I don't remember what. I remember having passing thoughts about Deathwing and Alextstraza and how they looked feral with their "old/out of date" models.

Then I remember flying toward the dragon and at some point jumping off the back of my drake and landing on a platform (on the dragon?). There, I found blocks like in Boundless. Interesting patterned blocks, like mosaic and celtic twist patterns on stone and they had red and black colour schemes. I began to "vein mine" the blocks the vein mining technique eventually stopped working and so I gave up on harvesting these interesting blocks.

The next part I remember, I had ended up on a red dragon's back. We fly over mountains and cliffs and from here I spot the nest and jump off, gliding through the air somehow and trying to land on the nest. Instead, the winds lead me to the ladder.

---

Notes:
- I think it was in this dream; the area in which I found the bear mount rider was something like the WoW zone Grizzly Hills, with tall pine-like trees.
- The way my original notes were made have altered my memory of how the dream's chronology worked out but at the same time it has created a nearly perfect cyclical flow of the dream which did lead me to remembering details I otherwise may not have recalled that morning.
- The black dragon may have appeared before I thought of Deathwing, but I believe the two would have come in tandem regardless of which appeared first.
- This dream involved a lot of flying or gliding and basically high altitude locations with little solid ground to speak of. In the dream and game worlds I don't typically ever have a fear of heights, despite the fact that in reality they make me feel uncomfortable as I become highly aware that a mistake could cost me, fatally so even.
- Over the last few months I have had passing thoughts of the Burning Crusade and about nether drakes, so this dream probably came about as a materialisation of that or as a self-feeding experience.

Morning of December 9, 2019. Monday.

Dream #: 19,348-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec.



Sleep-wake mediation begins with the typical activation of the preconscious simulacrum (reticular activating system personification) as intrusive to make my dream state less inviting and sustainable. My identity is extant to a partial degree, as I recall Zsuzsanna and our family, but our home is fictitious. The preconscious simulacrum is an unfamiliar woman who is staying with us and is supposedly Zsuzsanna’s friend. She has a young daughter and son. At one point, it is late at night, and I cannot rest or focus because she and her children are making noise (with the attempt to pull me out of the dream state), so I tell them to get out. There is increased neuron energy in my annoyance, which vivifies my dream, but this does not wake me. Even so, a wall opens up, though it leads more inward into the dream state by my intent, and I see everyone else walking out into a forest. It is still night.

I walk into the forest, finding it a pleasurable setting. The woman and her two children have gone behind some dense shrubbery. The vague awareness my dream is becoming a bathroom wake-up call remains in the background. The preconscious becomes an animal semblance. A bear is in the woods, so I decide to turn around and find shelter. Ambiguity becomes a factor, and the house no longer exists, but there is still a bathroom left. I go in. The bear follows me, but I close the door. At times, I can see its claws slide in and out under the door. I hold the door closed, my strength keeping the bear from coming in. Wall mediation vivifies my dream and increases awareness of my identity. Imaginary physicality and momentum become more realistic.

I try to sustain my dream despite my need to wake. I fill my hands with water from the running faucet of the bathtub on my right. The tangibility of the water is amazingly realistic, and I can feel its heat (cortical arousal overriding virtual melatonin mediation). I think the bear might be annoyed by the hot water, so I continue to fling it under the door. The bear seems annoyed but does not leave. The dynamics of cortical arousal integrate more with the situation, and guns appear. I suddenly have a Beretta in my right hand, and there are now weapons and several rounds of ammunition on the other side of the door. I shoot the pistol under the door at a rocket launcher. My act implies ambiguous intent as I typically use fire to wake myself. The house exists again. The missile curves, but its trajectory remains adjacent to the outer walls of the house. With x-ray vision, I see its flames. I also hear a loud sizzling. I am amused. I anticipate it will explode near the front of the house. I sense my thoughts creating the dream content, but release the dynamics of cortical arousal so that I remain in the dream state. As a result, the rocket does not explode.

I make one more attempt to reset my dream. I open the door, and the bear becomes smaller, backs away, and falls into a pothole filled with water. Only its head is visible. The house is gone again, and it is if I am looking at a street. Even so, I turn to go into the forest, and the house appears again.

Sleep-wake mediation continues, and my dream’s potential exit point renders as a store’s checkout (which is common). Zsuzsanna is here. The preconscious personification is here with her two children, except they are now both boys. I make one more attempt to remain in the dream state. I walk back to the beginning of the checkout and pick up a magazine (cognitive arousal). Liminal awareness that reading is often not viable in the dream state causes the magazine to fly out of my hands and slap against the ceiling, briefly sticking to it (vestibular cortex liminality). Two can play at this game, so I use telekinesis to cause the magazine to fly rapidly all around the checkout area and slap into my hands three times. The preconscious, now a man, looks on with puzzlement, and I finally wake myself by going to the end up the checkout (exit point).

---

Compare this with another recent bathroom wake-up call dream where I was in an underwater bathroom and holding the door against a giant catfish. Another dreaming experience rendered the RAS semblance as a vulture, blocking me from the bathroom in that instance because of vestibular system correlation and drop anticipation (with its association with flying or falling). There was one with the same dynamics with a snake, and one with a lioness as the RAS semblance. Some people might wonder why a different RAS semblance occurs with what is otherwise the same simple process each time. The reason is to prevent a pattern from emerging, which would confuse the dream self into thinking there is wakefulness consistency present.

---

I was in a corridor of what appeared to be an office building, making out with a REDACTED sex doll. The doll was very advanced and had a weak form of AI. More of a robot than a doll. I quickly hid her under a table because I knew the people who worked in the office would return.

In another scene, I was with a bunch of college students. I was doing front flips (I could never do that in real life). Not far away, a band of college cheerleaders were practicing. At some point, I asked one of the guys where to find 'building F'. I had to be there for class, I guess. I went outside and saw that it was night. I started flying. My powers weren't fully developed yet, but enough for me to show off by flying low over people's heads (sigh). I glided down a hill and found a large bear cage. Well, more like 'bear habitat'. Like in a big zoo. I flew above it, and landed on a tree inside the habitat. Only then did I notice the bear. My powers weren't strong enough yet and I didn't trust my ability to fly up out of there. I felt a little stuck.

It is grey with much cloudy weather, I go outside and begin to run to no where. I then see a bear with a yellow shirt and yellow shoes. I then decide to run the opposite direction of it as I knew it would try to eat me. I became lucid at this point and look back to notice it has a ridiculous run about it. I don't understand how a bear could run like that but I made it in to this van and took cover for a few moments.

Before making my way to the old house I use to live in. I closed the door and recalled that in previous dreams like this, the door would never close all the way even when I would shut it. I look back and could see the door was still open. I slammed it in and gave a huge relief. I then woke myself.

Morning of April 22, 2018. Sunday.



I am on the porch of the Loomis Street house in late morning. There is conversation relating to my oldest son. Zsuzsanna is present. I find a narrow cardboard box that is just large enough to hold a human forearm. Inside are two bones, both from human arms, but also deformed, with at least one or two miniature arm bones growing out of the first. This puzzles me, but I realize it is from when our son was being given human remains, as he is a doctor (not in real life) and this relates to his medical training and writing of essays. Apparently, a slow-witted woman had donated her son’s body to medical science after he died.

I go into the house (still the Loomis Street house). Looking out beyond the doorway of what should be the north bedroom is an outdoor setting instead. Our son is sitting near a corner of the house. Two unfamliar young people, male and female, walk about near one other unfamiliar person. Loud heavy metal music is playing. Our son begins to talk to me, but it is not him (though my dream self does not consider this). It is actually Johnny, a close friend from school days, who had said he wanted to be a doctor when he left school.

Eventually, my dream self becomes distracted and RAS mediation more fully kicks in. RAS is rendered as a brown bear that tries to come in from the front door to the porch (thus implying the typical doorway waking symbolism established when I was a toddler over fifty years ago). I am not scared (as I am likely subliminally aware of being asleep as with the majority of my dreams that are not viably lucid). Still, I do not want the brown bear getting into the house. I manage to close the door and keep it closed. (I have no focus on the doorway erroneously open to the outside from the north wall of the dining room.)

From here, I go to the back of the house, where another large brown bear sees me and runs away, just managing to squeeze through the back door, to close it behind him.

---

Faux lucidity is implied due to the odd RAS mediation dynamics, though it is usually not related to liminal dream control as it seems to be here. The part with the arm bones was from lying on my arm to where it had become numb.

---

...and the coolest story idea ever! I only remembered one dream from last night, and sadly it wasn't lucid, but it was still really awesome.

My family and I were going to the Haunted Islands (which is a placeholder name for a foreboding archipelago in my imaginational world that will be used in one of my novels at some point).

But they were significantly different than how I designed them in my conscious, waking life. For one thing, they were more of a theme park or tourist attraction. In fact, as we were going to visit, we weren't sure if the place was really dangerous or if it was just a fun attraction. We went in the evening, when the sun had already set, so it was already pretty creepy.

There were two large mountains that embodied the spirits of the island. The narrative temporarily faded, and instead I was looking at a coloring book with the mountains outlined on it. I started coloring them in with a gray marker. Then, they became real again. One had the head of a snake, with glowing eyes which switched from yellow to blue every few minutes or so. The other was another monster, more mammalian: I can't remember precisely what it was, but I think it was either a bear or a wolf or something. The snake-mountain was really cool. It was almost seductive in the way that it spoke, inviting us to the island. However, it also creeped me out, even though I absolutely love snakes in the waking world. I think I just got a really bad feeling, and so did my parents. Like we shouldn't be there.

The snake gave us one last warning: We had a short increment of time in which we could still leave. The gates to the haunted world were closing, but we had like a minute to rush out.

My sister was really excited by the prospect of exploring this haunted world. My brother usually goes along with her IRL, and he did so in the dream. However, my parents decided to leave. At the very last second, I decided to as well. A silver analog clock read 10:25 PM, and I had a lot of homework to do even in the dream. We rushed out the gates and just got out before they shut. Barely. Narrowest escape in a dream ever. xD

And then I remember vaguely something about Scooby-Doo.

This is oddly symbolic of what's going on in the waking world. Suffice it to say that my sister was doing some rather unhealthy things...think drugs and sex as a high schooler. And my brother isn't doing anything crazy., but he is losing his faith and is really struggling emotionally.

I'm using this dream as a creative idea. Either for a novel or a theme park ride idea, or -- better yet -- both! I'd like to be an Imagineer one day, but I don't think this idea would work particularly well for Disney.

Oh, and I also had two more dreams, but I couldn't remember them. I know I had them, but I had zero recollection of the content upon waking.

I was finishing up a day of work in a very tall skyscraper. It was getting late and there was a storm, I could see lightening flashing in the dark night sky out of the giant windows of the large room I was working in. The building was swaying. I was rushing to complete my work and get out of the building, but also interacting with old friends who were around. I think I got to the bottom of the building and stayed inside. It was sunny and daytime there, although we were inside there were still giant windows that you could see out of. Many friendly interactions that I have forgotten the details of with two old friends.

Bear chained to a tree and someone was chaining a dog (my dog?) next to it. I wondered why they would do that, it seemed very dangerous.

Thoughts:
I suppose the part about the storm at the top symbolizes anxiety around getting work done, or finding more work. Making my way to to 'bottom' seems almost like regression. These were 'old' friends, and I went down instead of up. Maybe my past feels safer to me, and I miss that safety? The bear chained to a fence seems really symbolic. The bear was no threat being chained to a fence, it was 'under control' but not completely gone. Putting something vulnerable that I care about like a dog near it is dangerous. Am I doing something that is putting myself or loved ones at risk unnecessarily?

I worked in cafe but it was a different building than in waking life, a nice big space. It was evening or late at night and we were getting ready to close. I was attempting to make vegan cookies and trying to find some vegan chocolate I could add. I remember seeing a Christmas tree that was in an adjacent room, and I unplugged, or plugged the lights in, I can’t remember. A lingering customer was remarking about how slow I drove my car, and I had an image of my [dream] car, with the entire front smashed, like a memory of a crash. I told him I drove slow because I had once crashed my car, and I showed him a fading bruise on my right inner bicep.
Outside, me and co-worker (old friend?) were going to our cars when we noticed two suspicious men on the roof of the cafe. We ducked down and tried to hide behind some structure. I think the men could see me, and I decided instead of remaining in hiding that we needed to distract them. I made an urgent look to a customer that was also outside- some man- and he seemed to get it and we both loudly talked about something and started to go back into the cafe.


Fragment: Editing some trailer or excerpt of a movie. Lots of problem solving dreams last night of this kind. Designing, editing, creating. Left me feeling tired when I initially woke up.

Wrote down notes on dreams, read a little and went back to sleep. More dreams below.

I was in my front room with my husband. We were sitting on the couch and a giant black bear was excitedly trotting back and forth between the couch and the front door, like my dog does when she wants to go out. In fact, the bear completely had my dog’s essence. I jokingly asked my husband, ‘Want to let her out?’ I got up and walked on the couch to reach for the front door, realizing that the bear could attack me at any moment. I opened the door and watched the bear run out and run down the street. I briefly wondered if I should warn the neighbors that a bear was running around.

I was making a movie with some people- maybe I was related to the director? We were hanging out on an urban street sidewalk, in an area that looked like an east coast city. An old male actor was standing next to me, and a slightly chubby man (my relative?). After a few minutes of discussing the movie or something else, we went inside a door behind us and it was this old man’s apartment. The carpet was old and stained and there were various rugs around. He mentioned something about liking my dog, or enjoying having her there, and he had a large dog that came in and tried to get near my dog but she seemed defensive. In the kitchen on the counter there were 3 bubbling pots- one was a tea kettle I think, the other perhaps coffee? And the third was apparently and experiment I had going on in a giant mixing bowl. It looked like bread dough in water with cayenne pepper, and I added something like apple cider vinegar. I have the idea that it was fermenting, not boiling.

I felt like an outsider. My mom and my brother were there. They each got a text from my aunt asking if they were going to the annual family boat reunion. I never attended this (dream event) but I was slightly hurt that I didn’t get this text as well. I was playing on my iPad/iPhone, editing movies or watching clips of a movie I was working on.

I was catching rides on large cruise-like boats by walking into the center of a bridge and stepping out as the boat passed under. I was able to step directly onto the boat without jumping using this method. Soon though a boat came and I wasn’t able to get on, but I notice a crowd of people, including an attractive woman around my age, were able to get on that boat in a way I couldn’t access. Then another series of boats show up, these are smaller, and several groups of teenage girls are on the bridge with me. They are dressed like they are on a sports team, mostly red and white colors, and they jump into the water next to the boats, or jump directly on the boats themselves. I contemplate doing this and then decide those boats aren’t for me and I think it’s too dangerous to jump anyway. An old school friend is near me and she agrees. I decided to wait for the next boat.

Thoughts:
A lot of this seems mundane. Bears are a common theme for my dreams, they used to be nightmares, now they just show up randomly. Im not sure why this one seemed like my dog, if that means anything to me. I think bears mostly symbolized anxiety for me in the past, or my father…now they seem to symbolize something that I am slightly afraid of, but think I can get around.
Boats and water are reoccurring a lot lately. These definitely seem symbolic, perhaps of subconscious emotions, or finding ways to navigate those emotions.
I live far away from my family, and have for a long time. I love them but I don’t want to live where they are, and it’s hard for me to travel to see them very frequently. I suppose I do feel left out, and although I talk to several of them frequently, I worry if I will regret this one day. Or if they think that I don’t care about them as much as I do. I am very introverted and could go days without talking to any human and be fine. I often realize that I have gone a while without reaching out, and wonder if I’m more oblivious than others when it comes to maintaining relationships.

Dream
I'm travelling outside with a friend, there's sabretooth tiger cubs in the distance, 1 big snow white one. They're up a bit on the hill. It's turning into winter, a snow storm is coming from the mountains. They're getting closer now, they were playing together but they fought a bit with snow white sabre. We try moving in the opposite direction and come near a line of trees. There's a huge bear here, damn. I can sense a sabretooth tiger coming up behind me so I sprint at the bear, barrel roll as the tiger pounces and cause the bear and tiger to fight. Badass?? Absolutely.
I arrive in place where my daughter is staying(?) or a shelter by a mountain. There's a room, I remember my friend Mat staying here and I had seen him on a video recording where he was splayed out on the couch super tired. I think I let him stay at the place since he was travelling. I can't remember when it happened but I'm a little gingerbread sized plastic man who has lost his memory as well, like some kind of evil curse. It's a really deep and sad story (in the dream plot) which I'm also watching. There's a loading bar that shows it's a movie which is halfway through, about 25 minutes. My daughter doesn't know where her uncle is (which is me, since we apparently lied and said I was her uncle and not her dad) and now she believes she doesn't have a dad.. It's because I'm away working and can't be with her to watch her grow up, so she doesn't really know what a is. I can't remember that I'm her dad though (because of the curse) and everything is sad. I remember thinking that I really wanted to watch until the end of the movie, because it's just such a beautiful story. I know how it ends, the father (me) manages to break the curse and turn back to normal, my daughter is super happy to finally have her uncle back, but I decide to tell her the truth that I'm her dad. It makes her so happy to have a dad, and we're both so happy to be together finally. I don't get to see the story unfold though, because I start becoming more aware. I'm lucid in a way, the dream visuals fade but I don't wake up. Then I'm back in the room with my mom, not really remembering the previous plot as I'm doing other stuff. At some point she leaves and I see my friend in these tight jeans, nice . I'm horny so I hook up with her. I try taking off her pants but there's dream lag, and my imagination is 'broken', like it can't remember how to materialize certain features and is in a state of buffering. I understood something at this point about dream lag too, that stability is linked to the rate at which we expand the dream world around us. In an unstable dream we can't load too much or it will crash, but the more stable the dream the greater the load it can handle. This sounds pretty obvious, but it wasn't something I'd ever truly practiced. I'm always moving in my lucids, never just stopping. Usually this is because if I stop then I lose lucidity >_<...

Also, I've had a lot of intensely vivid dreams lately, probably because I've just started working.