side notes

Lately I haven't put anything in my online DJ. I think it's good to rewrite my dreams as it helps with the whole awareness thing (and the other stuff). Two or three days ago on the forum I asked if it was ok to write just points of my dreams and recall the rest from memory. They had a good point: "If you only write down points in your dream, you will train yourself to just remember points of your dream when you wake up. You should write down as much as possible if you want to have a better dream recall." So that's what I should do to become better at LDing. If I can't write down everything when I wake, than just write something, and later in the day (when I'm a bit more awake but still earlier in the day) write the everything. ... And just so you know, I writing stuff down like this helps me to actually do it. I don't care if it's entertaining for you to read. ; ->

So now I'm going to list my dreams from my paper DJ. (In chronological order)

I had a dream I was flutter tonguing really well on my Oboe. I think I was in my room.

Another dream started in third person view: I watched myself enter my house. I had just got back from high school. (It was the summer thought.) The next thing I remember waking (not third person any more) around in my house going from room bedroom to bedroom. The ceilings were all slanted, it was a different type of architecture from what it is in waking life.

Few nights later I had a dream that I was partaking in a scene from the Hunger Games movie. I was on stage and Katniss was there to. It was the scene from the interviews. The funny thing was the fact that the stage was my bathroom with two of the walls removed. Katniss, a big fat man, and someone else was there. It was a tribute, but I can't recall who it looked like. Katniss was staring (or talking to the people) but very stationary like she was preoccupied by something. I looked out and saw the crowd and I saw camera flashes and lights. I saw people, but just there shapes. They were far away and unlit. I started talking to the fat man. The stage is still my bathroom. Next thing that happens is everyone on stage (the four of us including me) are shaking hands. I shake hands with the big guy, but Katniss and the big guy keep reaching out to shake hands but can't seem to shake hands. (Imagine that they are blindfolded. That's a good way to describe it..) I grab both of there hands and force them together. The big guy thanked me. I don't know what happened next. (Btw, the big guy had a white goatee.)

Another night after that, I had a dream I was watching a simulation of a big skyscraper being constructed and deconstructed, well kind of. It had a beige exterior and a lot a light blue glass windows. Two of the four sides
had glass windows and the other pair (opposite each other) indented inward.. I don't know how to explain it well. (I drew a picture but don't fell like uploading it.) Anyways, there was a square cap of the top of the skyscraper. It looked nice. Those two walls that I mentioned that were indented in keep having another "extension" of the building that was added to the side and then quickly removed floor by floor or block by block.
The dream itself was short, but different what anything before.

And lastly, yesterday night I had a dream that I was with one of my friends. The place was my high school. Many things were different about it most noticeably it becomes a freaken huge maze of hallways and doors in some of my dreams. Some of them are in the "more normal school layout", but others like this one are in this freaken huge labyrinth! It's fun just thinking about it. There is A LOT to this dream. It built off of the layout of a previous dream. The previous dream I mentioned was a long time ago. To sum it up, I mistook my high schools swim club for the swim team. This was after navigating a submerged labyrinth (it was a labirinth of changing rooms delapidated sumerged rooms, and submerged weight rooms for the most part... and and bathrooms and arching halls connecting everything.) My math teacher was in charge of the swim team that I mistook for the swim club. Needless to say, I hoped in the water, the race started, and I came in last. (Other parts of the dream world include above ground hallways and the only room I remember coming to is a bathroom.) In the dream from yesterday, I was with one of my friends and we were carrying kayak paddles. I oped a metal door and a teacher on the other side deemed what we were doing to dangerous. Other teachers soon appeared/came and they were debating if we should get in "a lot of trouble". I wakled up to them and said some stuff to persuade them. The dream ended before a consensuses arrived.

I figured I would make note of the weird feelings I had last night before I drifted away into being asleep. While the night before last, I had almost successfully achieved a WILD without doing a WBTB or anything of the sort (Until my dog in my room started to go crazy about something outside...). That boosted my confidence greatly into the hopes that I will be able to successfully achieve lucidity by this method, as well as hopefully mastering it and using it to practice/experience OBEs and APs, which I am also greatly interested in.

I am writing this however due to my experience last night. To start, I drink a few blends of herbal teas that I make up myself. For night time to help myself not get up as often and to at least have a restful sleep (Thats the main problem with crohn's...) I make a brew of Mugwort tea, with some peppermint, rosemary, and mullien. Most of those are used to help relax the body, as I have read Mugwort helps with dreams and such, I do not ingest it for that reason. I also cannot for sure say if it has had any effect on my dreaming ability or recall. I can say it has not helped me achieve lucidity though, but that could just be because of my failed techniques..

However last night, I was going through my usual motions. I had laid down into my bed, on my back, the palms of my hands faced down by my side, with my mouth slightly open to breathe through. I took a few deep breaths, and then went into the motion of willingly not breathing. I only do this for a few seconds until I feel my body relax, and then I move into breathing exercises to replicate sleep. As I'm laying there relaxing, the usual HIs, bright lights, and this weird beeping noise (has to be in my head as there was no noise throughout the night except my breathing) began to encompass my 'vision'. As I was drifting deeper and deeper into this relaxed state (and what I was hoping would trigger SP and then a LD..)I started having the heavy vibrations and I suddenly felt like my arms were moving around. Even scratching small itches that I had around my face, but my arms remained by my side. It was such a surreal feeling, that I felt like I was closer to an OBE than I was to an LD.

I'm reaching about near the same amount of weeks that it took me to get lucid last time. Since then though, I've only realized that I must've been dreaming about 2 to 3 times up until now. If I could do it without trying then I can do it more often then I know, simple as that. As for my recent dreams, I've been keeping track, and writing them down on a note book. I'll update this Journal when I get the chance. This is just me checking in.

So we had some guests over last night and they stayed until this morning so I basically forgot all of my dreams from last night.

Anyways...

9:30 - Shot some hoops and went for a bike ride. ( I think I am going to make this a habit. It's nice exercising at night when it isn't hot)
10:00 - Banana, OJ, Apple juice, milk
11:00 - Vitamins with big glass of water
11:30 - Fell asleep with binaural beats
4:00 - Woke up and started alarm
Got up at 7:30

Dreams...
Last night I know I had a ton of really vivid dreams. I'm just really hoping that I didn't have a lucid and forget it. I got up this morning but didn't have time to record anything so I forgot it all. The alarm also worked quite well again. I was woken up from it each time. I don't think it gave me a false awakening though. For some reason now that I trained myself to do an RC when I wake, now the alarm isn't giving me false awakenings. Grrr.... Oh well, it's bound to start happening soon. So ya... just hope the alarm thing starts giving me false awakenings again. I am sooooooo close to having lucids consistently as long as this alarm keeps giving me false awakenings.

See ya.

07/03/2012

The shop was in some random place, almost seemed like a church or inside a Mall. D was staying a bit late after work and I had stopped by. I had decided to stay around until he had left the shop. He had greeted me, and he was waiting on G to come pick him up. He was dressed in a leather jacket and had some sunglasses on, and while he was waiting on her, he sat down with me and decided to talk. I (think) I had talked to him about him taking me on as an apprentice. While we were talking however, some other people started showing up, and just being assholes. One guy had punched this other kid in the face, and some other stuff. Then I had gone inside some other room with him, while he was waiting outside. I don't know what I was doing in this room, I could have been drawing, or cutting something. However, there was Billy (Someone I had worked with previously, I don't know him that well though), and a few girls and such around the room talking and doing their own thing. This one guy who was sort of built and seemed to be the head of the 'gang' that was causing the annoyances around the area decided to start messing with D. Taking his sunglasses and putting them on, then saying some weird names. D just looked at him with an evil eye and while the guy was egging him on, I had made a smart comment (Something like, you might not want to do that or something) and this random guy beside me started trash talking me. Said something about my facial hair not being grown in all the way and shit, while he was perfectly clean shaven. (This is when Billy appeared) So I politely, but in a smart matter said "Well this is a 4 day growth, how well can you get a beard started?" The guy said it was bullshit and there was no way I had that much facial hair within 4 days, which is when I turned to Billy who also has a lot of facial hair and it grows in pretty fast as well. I had asked him if it was possible and how fast his current facial hair had grown in. He also claimed 4 days, and smiled a big smile. D did end up knocking the dude who was messing with him in the Jaw.

After leaving the shop and all, I had suddenly appeared in a car on the way to some factory or something. It was by a KFC and a lot of people were harvesting trash and such. While I was in the car, a guy who was named Louis was talking with his wife up a ways, but I could hear them faintly. She had driven off, and he had a baby in his arms. He was walking toward me. When he had gotten to the car, he had asked me if I could watch his baby for him while he went to go talk to his boss about taking the day off and such (something about his wife and baby drama). I said sure, and he had placed it into the seat next to me. The baby was caramel colored and had dreadlocks, which was quite strange because it only appeared to be a few months old, or even a year. So as I'm watching this child and tickling it, I realize I don't have pants (It could be because I had removed them in waking life before going to sleep...) So I cranked up the truck and had driven off with the baby to my house to get some pants. As I had made it home, my house was quite different than the one I was living in. I had woken up in my bed (in the dream, false awakening maybe?) next to the mystery woman. She and my mother (who appeared in her late 60s or so...) started asking me why the hell I had a baby in the truck and why I didn't bring him inside. I had said that I forgot I even brought a baby with me, and all that stuff. The mystery woman started saying things in Spanish and English (was hard to follow, but I seemed to understand... Also, the only way I'll put this side note, is that I had a very 'nice' feeling to hearing the Spanglish to put it mildly). I had told them that I had hurried home to put some pants on because I had woken up earlier to go to work on time. Turns out it was my first time on the job, so I didn't even know where to clock in or anything, so I ended up running back home and getting some pants. I had again left for work after the mystery woman getting me some pants and went to let Louis know the baby is at my house until he gets off of work because he will need his job in order to support the baby. Then I had woken up.

Date: 07/02/2012

I had a dream of being at my friend Kyle's house. There was a party that was somehow going on around his neighborhood. As I had woken up in his house (I stayed the night last night) he had a pack of cigarettes (didn't have any last night in waking life) and his mother had a pack (she doesnt smoke at all...). She had a pack of Marlboro Golds, and he had a pack of Parliaments I think... They offered me one, and I declined. Though as I went into his room to get my pipe tobacco that I had brought over, It became lost. I had my pipe, but Kyle said I never brought the tobacco over. As I left his room and went past the kitchen, his Aunt Lenore, and his Grandma (Who is dead) were in there making food for the party. I had eaten some chocolate chip cookies, and had taken some that were in the shape of a teddybear and some were in the shape of Boo, from Mario. Someone had asked me where all the cookies had gone, and I had given them the rest of mine. I went back into Kyle's room, and he was on his couch with another friend of his (I don't know this friend). They were both on Laptops (Kyle doesn't own a laptop), smoking cigarettes. I had put my hand in my pocket, and I picked up a cigarette and I ended up rolling it between my fingers and taking the filter out.

The party was very weird. There was A LOT of people. I'm suprised that many people fit into the room. They all started dancing to some hip-hop song that came on some radio that echoed throughout the house. I stepped outside, and I was suddenly transported into this like, Castle in the sky. There was a woman dressed up in black who was fighting some people. She had gotten some call and was told to exit the castle due to explosives or something that were placed inside. As she busted out of a stain glass window, she took flight on a transparent hang-glider. They people she was fighting had started to fire at her, and (I think) her hang-glider had gotten a hole in it. She had flown over Kyle's house as I was looking up in the sky, and probably landed somewhere up the street. I had asked Kyle to come with me to find it, but he had declined and thought I was making it up.

Date: 07/02/2012
Fragment:

I was in the bathroom at Kyle's house also (Might have been a seperate dream), and I had looked in the mirror and my plug size was bigger (and missing) from my ear lobes. Very abnormal.

9:00
Glass of OJ, apple juice, milk, and banana.

10:00
It was a really beautiful night with a full moon that I just couldn't waste. I went outside and shot some hoops. Didn't even need to turn on the lights! Then I went for a bike ride for a couple of miles.

11:00
Came back in and got ready for bed.

11:30
Vitamins with big glass of water.

11:45
Fell asleep to binaural beats.

2:30
Woke up after a bunch of fantastic dreams.
Started the alarm.

Got up at 8:00

Alarm...
Last night I successfully was woken up by the alarm each time. Also, I did a reality check each time too! I didn't have a lucid last night though because I never had a false awakening from the alarm to do a reality check. I did have two dreams however where I became lucid for a second but then woke up. Doesn't count though. Boy am I excited about this alarm thing though. I am really good about RC's now whenever I get out of bed so as long as this alarm gives me some more false awakenings... I am set and ready to roll!!!!

Routine:
9:00 - OJ, Milk, Apple Juice, Banana
10:00 - Vitamins
10:45 - Go to bed with binaural beats
2:30 - Wake up and start alarm
Sometime in the morning - False awakening
8:00 - Get up

Ok so this alarm thing is freaking amazing. It actually wakes me up each time and both nights so far has caused me to have a false awakening. I am really working on reality checks now whenever I wake up or do anything relating to morning / nightly routine. So far it seems all of my false awakenings I always go the the bathroom first thing so at least they are consistent. All it's gonna take now is doing a reality check in a false awakening and lucidity here we come!!!!
Any tips on reality checks would be appreciated.

I'll order these, but I just wanted all of them to be onto one post.

Date 02/09/2012:

I was buying weed from my dealer, a decent amount too. When suddenly, cops came from no where. Someone yelled about it, and we all ran. As I made it home, I had heard of the cops looking for me, so I had hid all of my stuff as to not get my mother in trouble. Then the next thing I remember, I'm in the kitchen and this woman is in my backyard around the area that I had hid everything. She started to talk to me as I went up to her, but I don't remember what she was saying or if I even heard her. I grabbed my weed from where I placed it, along with my bowl and walked away with her.


Date: 02/29/2012

I was in a college for art. Somehow the topic of tattooing was brought up to me from someone and I mentioned how I was going to become one. Not an 'if' situation. I was very sure of myself. usually when I say things in waking life like this, I do have a small amount of self-doubt. However, in this particular one, I was extremely confident in myself.

Date: 03/11/2012
I was in my house, and my dog freaked out over something and had an accident on the floor. All I remember. She is almost 13/14 years old, and she's had an accident before in waking life where she had diarrhea.
Date:06/02/2012

This is deja vu. I had a dream of me playing a game... More of a series of dreams about a year ago. I had moved out I think and I had a girlfriend... I can't remember her name or what she looked like though. I remember the dream feeling very significant and I felt like my life was starting a path that would lead me afloat(?) till I died...

Date: 06/29/2012

I was wearing a hoodie. My sleeve faded but came back when I looked at it. I was in the back of a truck with Trevor.

I've had other dreams in between a lot of these dates that I sort of remember, but I am going to let this start fresh and only write down everything that I've already written down/will write down as I continue.

So last night was another late one. Didn't get to bed until about midnight.

11:45
Took vitamins with big glass of water
12:15
Went to bed listening to binaural beats
3:15
Woke up to alpha waves
Started the alarm
Actually woke up each time to the alarm but didn't have a lucid dream from it. I did have a false awakening however which I believe is what the alarm is supposed to do, so once I get in the habit of reality checks Im golden
Got up at 7:30

Debrief on alarm so far...
So I actually turned the volume up hight enough this time to get woken up form the alarm which was the good thing. The bad thing was that once it woke me up I was awake for about 6 - 10 minutes each time which is what you are NOT supposed to do. Howeverm it did cause me to have a false awakening which was mentioned. I believe that if I just get in the habit of doing reality checks whenever I wake up, this alarm is my key to victory.

Yes I know it's almost midnight but I just got back from a buisness trip you might say, and felt I might as well make an entry.

despite staying at a hotel last nigh I actually had some really vivid dreams. (will make a separate post) The wierd part is I wasn't trying to focus on dreams at all. After finally checking in to my room, it was about 11:00. I was so tired I just crashed on the bed when I got there and didn't even change or get under the covers or anything. That is how I woke up too. I sure was tired.

So basically, now I should be back for a while and can focus on dreaming again! Also, I think I am going to try out the alarm thing a few more nights, and if it doesn't work, go to the DV Academy and work on WILDs and DILD's.

And why am I even making a entry right now??? IDK. I am really tired but if possible try and make at least one entry per day. So all the stuff I just wrote probably makes no sense and I think I will shut up now. *passes out in front of computer from tiredness (is that a word?)*

I'm not recording any dreams today because frankly I couldn't remember any last night. Here is how the night went though...

Continued with B6, B12, and Magnesium
Drank glass of H2O
Finally got to bed about 12:30. I had so much unpacking and stuff to do and it took forever.
Fell asleep with binaural beats
Woke up at 3:00 and started the alarm thing I am trying out
Woke up at 7:00 and got up

Well, I don't really know how the vitamins are working. When I first tried them I had really vivid dreams that I could remember quite easily. Last night though I didn't. It might of been just because I was so tired though. Also, I can't really tell if the alarm is working or not. Last night I woke up once from the alarm I think but only that one time. It is supposed to work by waking you up at regular intervals and then waiting so your brain wakes you up but not your body. I am thinking it was because my earbuds fell out though because if I remember right, when I woke up this morning they weren't in. I really hope it works though because it would be nice to reliably have lucid dreams by just turning on an alarm. I'm going to keep working on it and hope it goes well.

Unfortunately, I am going to be gone again so I can't work on lucid dreams tonight or possibly even tomorrow as well.
I just really want to have a reliable way to have lucids every night. Its like potato chips or french fries... once you have one, YOU MUST HAVE MORE!

Do not take 5-htp >6hrs before bed if you want to recall dreams.

Once upon a time,
There was a girl with a heartless soul.
God gave her beauty, intelligence, a good family… everything except love.
This ‘almost’ perfect girl with a pretty smile had a grey monotone mind that disgusted other people.

One day,
She got sick of her family, staring her like a monster,
So she ran away.

Promising herself,
‘I will never return home.’

It was a time when a yellow field filled with dusk
While watching this gorgeous scenery,
She hums her favorite tune in a carefree mood.

A girl who carries nothing,
................worries nothing.

Even the weather seems to praise her freedom.
A wind filled with spring moist carries a few petals to her cheeks,
Foxtails tickled her fingertips; she made a crown with white and pink cosmos.

Like a dapple on a white cloth,
There is another presence in this picturesque scenery.
He is the one who calls himself God, whose infinite power cost him to be partially colour blind.

He cannot sense red.
For God, the gloomy world is full of dark things; green, blue and black.
Ironically his favourite moment of the day
Is a twilight when everything flickers with red.

Even a poisonous snake looks gorgeous as a part of the scene.

For God who views only cold things, a time that seems to embrace every nature,
Gives enormous relaxation that washes all tiredness piled throughout a day.

The magic happens only once every day,
So he puts an extreme value to this time.

It was like every other day,
Drinking a sourish sweet chamomile and enjoying warmth of the time.

Then he sees……

A girl with a white one-piece colored with orange dusk,
Leisurely skipping and humming at the same time.
She has the ‘complete’ colour, including red, to decorate her beauty.
Her curly hair with red light bounces with her footsteps.

She was …… as if …… caught in the magic…… of dusk.

Her fair baby-like skin has this attractive, warm light; glowing.
It was the colour God had never seen in his zillion years.

It’s warm… Beautiful…
If there is a goddess, that MUST be her.

Just in that instant, he falls in love with her.

She’s mine.

Her special heartless soul did not matter to the special God.
He can see it; wide and clear.
A chocolate coloured sound, beating with soft sugary emotions,
A red passion that God becomes so attached.

Without her knowing,
She became ‘extremely’ valuable to God.

The God smiled like a fragmented moon and wooed to a trembling girl, who is to become his…
…Lover.

You may harm the others
But if you ever dare harming ‘me’


I will……








Kill you.

Over there at the far sight,
There is a couple, fighting with their veins showing in their necks.

Like all the other quarrels between husband and wife,
They are supposedly ‘arguing’ about their child’s education.
Wife is nagging her husband, and husband rolls his strong, iron hands into fists and trembles.
Their bloodshot eyes clearly show they ‘will’ strike one another in few moments.

A shrimp like child seems to be squeezed between two angry whales,
Unable to decide anything,
But helplessly and nervously rolls his eyes like tennis balls.

Why adults do fight?
Why don’t they just DO a rock, paper and scissors and follow what the winner says?

He just doesn’t get this situation with his small head,
But this is the first time he realizes that rules at a preschool do not apply to adults;
Especially to his parents.

An old lady at the scene calls for a pitiful chick.
As the rescued child rushes, the old lady smiles warmly,
And embraces the child with her loving heart.

“Tut, tut… Kids are raising kids nowadays…”
She cautiously and softly patted the back of the child.

She’s like Mama,
A scared child dangles some tears, and shyly tries to hide himself by smothering himself into the old lady.

For such lovable action… the kind old lady

“Ha ~
..........Your journey of suffering ….
.................................................. ..Starts RIGHT HERE……”
.................................................. .....................................Sneers

“Huh?”

‘Did I just hear? No…. I think I’ve just heard something I’m not suppose to.’

As if to reward the chaotic confusion the child has,
The old lady gives her best, sweet warming smile and says,

“Despair… … child.”

Although he is an indiscreet child yet to know the complicating adult world,
He unconsciously slaps this ‘very’ spiteful old lady.