Non-dream stuff - I have a lucid fragment, that occurred at an unknown time. Then, just a non-lucid dream that I've forgotten details on. Lucid fragment: It was dim. I see my left hand and count 6 fingers, the extra finger being conjoined with the pinky or ring finger. I have a brief realisation that I'm dreaming, visually the dream starts to disappear into darkness and it feels like I bump into something, and then just the nothingness of unconsciousness until the next dream memory. Dream fragment: I remember arriving at a street with my partner, in the car. I suggest we park on some spots close to these terraced houses on the street. The layout is a bit like a corner but it makes more sense in the dream context than it would in waking life. The bit I suggested we park the car on, turns out is for disabled only. In the dream I remember thinking that I really need to do something to get that sorted out, the thought felt like it was more conscious than other parts of the dream. We park somewhere else a bit further and then I remember approaching the terraced houses, and one of them is actually a bank, and I bought that specific one, apparently. The house door was 60 something, and in the dream context I notice or remember that a friend of ours who's been staying over with us, is living over at door 57, which is around the corner, which again doesn't make sense in a real layout, since it technically would be a different street, the numbers shouldn't add up like that. I remember being inside the bank-turned-house and noticing glass with red painted stripes, as with a particular bank, and for some reason the house is connected directly to another one that was also from the same bank but hadn't been sold. I remember turning something on or looking for something to eat and feeling like it was odd that I could see a bank agent across the way. In the dream I was satisfied with how the house looked, though it was pretty bare; mostly shiny tiles and glass. Later on in the dream I remember walking with my partner again, over some sort of low roof (less than a story high), which was used as a public bridge or something. My mom was at the opposite end, sitting with her legs crossed; as we got closer she looked at me and smiled and told me something. I remember people going past us on the left, using the "bridge". It was day-time through the entire dream, but at first it was cloudy and then it must have been less cloudy near the end because there were more bright streaks. No notes for now, feeling quite tired.
The farthest I remember back, I was in my room. I realized I was about to miss the bus (a common theme in my dreams as it is a prevalent fear IRL), so I frantically got ready and left. A few things were odd. My dad's girlfriend was there and they were both awake. It was morning, but it was dark (coulda sworn it was nighttime before). There were more people walking outside than there are usually. I got to my bus stop in time, but the bus drove right past me and almost hit two people. I went to chase it (in retrospect, I'm surprised I could run in a dream), but I realized it was not my bus. As I walked back to my stop, I figured this was unusual and did an RC; lo and behold, I'm dreaming. I feel myself become lucid and I hop into the air. I'm intent on having a world of fun, but the person next to me starts attacking me, making it impossible to concentrate, so I wake up.
My dream recall's been a bit poor ever since my massive recall the other day. Last night saw a small bit of progress, but probably my second worst lucid dream so far. I'm at my original home and it's my birthday. My parents aren't there for it but contact my via a video link and apologise and tell me that they love me very much. I see at the bottom of my bed that they have left me a present - it turns out to be a huge packet of jelly beans (note - my bedroom is in its pre-decorated state). The next thing I know, I am walking past Costcutter (again! dream sign?) with my sister Z_ and B_. We're discussing the delicious of nature of pork pies. As we pass the shop I see someone I recognise, I double take and sure enough it's Charlie Sheen. I instantly know that I'm dreaming and panic. I scramble about from side to side to find something to ground myself with but much of the dreamscape seems to have disappeared and is largely a blank, white space. I find myself in what I know to be a dream bed and RC again, but it's too late and I awake in my real bed. At this point I tried to DEILD, successfully keeping my eyes wide shut, however the extent to which I dipped back into the dream wasn't enough so i carried on sleeping normally. During the day today I decided to have a WILD attempt as I've really been slacking off with this since the start of my LD efforts. I managed to get some very subtle WILD sensations and almost felt myself float out of my body. Again this wasn't enough to completely disconnect or start a lucid dream. So all in all a day and night of mixed success. At least I managed to become lucid, even if it was brief and at least I began to feel WILD sensations again.
It's been 5 days since I last recalled a dream. This is a horrible dryspell, considering it is summertime. I've given up on the FILD technique. I've done it thrice, each waking up at different times, but I just can't get it to work for me. Whatever. I was trying a FILD this morning and I ended up not doing it. Then, in my bed, I started to remember talking to my girlfriend on Facebook about how she had shaved her head. Suddenly, I stopped. She never shaved her head. This is a dream. I did a nose RC and it failed. I was lucid. I said, "Increase clarity!" and tried to focus on my bedroom wall, but a swirl of color engulfed me. I woke up.
In this dream I had with two false awakenings. I can't for the life of me remember any details about the dream itself, but I do know that I had a false awakening, after which I did and RC by biting my tongue - but it hurt, so I though I had really woken up. Then I had another false awakening, after which I performed the same RC and became lucid for a brief moment and realized I was in a dream, though I woke up for real immediately afterwards.
I cannot remember the beginning of this dream but there was quite a bit about wandering around outside in a semi-arid setting. I was travelling with three women I do not know in what looked like a camp ground. Despite the dry arid atmosphere, there were many thick, dark green coniferous trees about - enough almost to classify the area as a forest in my opinion. I do not recall much detail about the appearance of the three women except the two were slightly younger than I (and one was wearing a pink, wool sweater) and the oldest woman was about middle aged and had short dark brown hair. The four of us walked for a while, seemingly lost in the desert forest the three women conversed with each other, but I lagged behind and was content to just enjoy the setting, though as we walked a growing apprehension developed in my mind and I found myself wanting to be in the company of my parents because I suddenly felt very vunerable and child-like. I had not noticed that she had gone, but the oldest woman of the group suddenly turned a corner, driving a red four door car that looked like a Glendale from the Grand Theft Auto videogame series. I never got her actual name in the dream, but from this point on I refer to the oldest woman of the group as Glenda. I never learn the names of the other two women. Glenda tells us to get in and I make myself confortable in the rear rightside passenger seat. The young woman in the pink, hand-knit sweater sits in the left side and I notice at this point that she has shoulder length blond hair. I think that she looks like Cagalli Yula Athha from the Gundam Seed anime series. The three women continue to talk amongst themselves but I roll down my window and am content to just stare outside, wondering where my parents are. Glenda drives along a lone dirt road out of the desert forest, heading east, and we travel for a long time with nothing in sight. Soon however there is a wooden ramp a head of us and though it appears that we could drive around it, Glenda is determined to jump the ramp. She floors the accelerator and we speed towards the jump, and I feel that this is a very bad idea. I cling to the Cagalli look-alike and she does the same to me. Everyone in the car is afraid of the worst happening and I cannot talk Glenda out of stopping the car or just driving around the ramp. The red four-door car is heavy and though it hits the wooden ramp at a fair speed and level angle, the vehicle inexplicably flips in mid air, crashes on the roof and slides upside down for a short distance. The four of us are able to crawl out of the wreck, and though we are dazed, no one is seriously injured. Glenda is quick to rally the other two girls into following her again by saying something like "the Arizona border isn't far now," or something, but I am not interested in joining them. While they continue along the dirt road heading east, I notice something in the southernly direction that looks like a group of small buildings or tents. It is hazy because of the heat and I cannot tell if what I am looking at is real or an optical illusion, but I start walking in that direction anyway. It is very hot and I take off my overshirt and wrap it around my head as I walk. As I get closer to my destination I can see that it is some sort of outdoor event taking place infront of a large gothic styled building which I think at first much be a medieval church or something. There are stone pillars through the square, as well as consession stands and booths selling various consumer goods. There are many people casually browsing the things for sale or sitting on the many marble benchs scattered about. I am aching from the car crash and walk to the center of the bustle so see if I can find anyone I know. I look over my right shoulder and through the throng of people and booths I can see a Texaco gas station and feel drawn towards it. As I try to make my way there, my dad walks by infront of me and heads over to a coffee stand nearby. He did not notice me as he walked by and does not respond when I call out to him. I am sore and feeling needy and want sympathy because I was in an accident, but my dad completely ignores me as if I am not even there. He orders to hot drinks and walks toward a picnic table in the far end of the square, where my mom is sitting. I unwrap the overshirt from my head and follow my dad over to the table and try to get my parents attention, but again they do not respond. My anxiety increases and I desperately try yelling at them again they do not respond. What adds to my frustration is that I do not know if they cannot actually hear me, or if they are willfully ignoring my pleas for attention. I briefly become lucid as I acknowledge that this is how it feels my parents treat me in real life, but I do not gain control of the dream because I feel rejected and psychologically exhausted. Though I know they will still ignore me if I return to their company, I still desperately crave attention and affection from my parents - but it hurts too much to feel non-existant, so I head over to the large gothic style building and see if I can find a pillar or wall to hide behind. As I get closer to the building I notice that one of the huge wooden doors is slightly ajar. I make sure no one is looking and slip through the opening. While it looks like a midieval church on the outside, the interior looks much more like an elaborate palace. Lush carpets line the expansive halls; gold and jewels are woven into every decoration and peice of art; massive crystal chandeliers hang from the ceilings. I stand in awe for a moment, drinking in the magnificent excess of extravagance, until I hear footfalls coming from an adjacent room or hall near the entrance. Because the sound seems to be coming from behind me, I run away from the front doors and deeper into the mansion. There seems to be some sort of party going on as in each room I pass I can hear people laughing and having fun, though the doors are closed and I cannot see anyone. I turn down one hall and almost trip over a stack of gifts wrapped in colourful papers and ribbons. Down another hall I find a long legless table with row upon row of crystaline bowls filled with either chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Because the hall is not air-conditioned, most of the ice cream is melting, and because the table has no legs and is effectively sitting on the floor, much of the melting ice cream is soaking into the lush red carpet. I walk through a set of doors beyond the legless table and find myself in watch appears to be a dinning hall. The place is set up as if to recieve and dine many guests, but I do not see anyone around. I can hear commotion from an adjacent room and hear a woman say something about "having the place ready for the afternoon guests." I quickly run through the room to a narrow hall on the other side. As I make my deeper into the mansion, a feeling of apprehension develops inside of me and I feel as if I am not suppost to be there. I enter into a hall with a stairs to the left, a large open kitchen infront of me and a set of double doors to my right. There are cooks in white aprons, waiters in red jackets, and maids in black dresses all rushing around trying to get their jobs done. People do look in my direction, but no one stops what they are doing to say anything about the interloper. I stand in the middle of the hall and notice someone coming down the stairs in the corner of my left eye. A waiter with short black hair is slowing making his way down the stairs and he is holding something I cannot see in his left hand. He makes a funny face and then smiles at me, clearly trying to make me laugh. I do laugh, but try to stifle it with my hand and it is then that I notice that I am wearing a red waiter jacket like the man on the stairs. I am still afraid that I am going to get in trouble because I am not suppost to be there, but being near the man on the stairs seems to make me feel a bit calmer for some reason. Another waiter appears from behind me, carrying a silver tray full of silver dishes, walks past us and mutters to the waiter on the stairs to "leave the new girl alone," or something. The man on the stairs just gives him annoyed look. An aging woman with a scowl for a facial expression, wearing a long black Victorian-era dress and her gray hair up in a bun, appears in the kitchen entrance way and I only get to make brief eye-contact with her when the dream ends. I think I can sum this dream up quite easy: anxiety about relations with my parents and anger about the emotional neglect I experienced in childhood.
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