Recent DJ Posts

[07.07.2021]

Disgusting worm
Some sort of scientist created a worm that looks like a vein and is apparently parasitic. The worm is for some reason in my home and everything is flooded. Apparently, this is also a recurring dream. I try to grab the worm with tweezers, but it tries to attack my hand so I accidentally drop it in a cup of tea or coffee. Then it's on the ground again and I ask my mother where my garden gloves went. She says she doesn't know, but shortly after, I find them on top of a cupboard and put them on to protect myself from it when using tweezers again.

[08.07.2021]

Losing a friend
I am at some sort of massive forge with a friend or two. We have to do some sort of task where we have to ascend a platform while everything is breaking down and there's a great risk of death. In the end, all but one friend manages to get on the platform and that friend who didn't make it died.

Then, we have hope that they are still alive and try to look for them. Eventually, we find a YouTube channel of them that is apparently still posting some sort of Minecraft content and we find them in a jungle that looks like the jungle area in Just Cause 4.

I'm standing in a cave with a group of people, discussing a man who came through here just ahead of us, someone we need to seal away - this is something he'd requested but now he's running. Our time is limited. A woman is suggesting that we use a certain box - it fits in the palm of your hand - that her husband had originally designed to seal himself in case of an emergency. She believes that her husband is no longer a threat so the box can be turned to a different purpose, and I can see her joy in that. But I refuse. No matter how safe her husband seems now, we need to save that option for him.

Following the man we need to seal, we come out of the cave into the open. There's a group of people living here who view him as a god; we avoid encountering them directly. Two of us get into a discussion on the nature of worship, talking about projecting the way your own perspective works onto a macro level, with a powerful leader to control things and a drastically overvalued role of consciousness. I make a comparison to a machine that can feel every impact of cogs and gears.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Fragmentary scenes with that woman who led the pilgrimage through the mountains earlier:

I'm sitting at a large round wooden table, eating a snack, while she's saying to me something about "would you bear hope" or would I be "a bearer of hope." I'm a little taken off-guard by this conversation, and I'm annoying her by not giving what she's saying serious consideration.

I'm surrounded by wolves, or something like wolves - they've got faces that seem built for snarling, I think of them as someone's nightmare of wolves. I can feel them as they each brush against me, rubbing closely against my legs. They're mine now apparently. I can't believe that worked, this is wonderful. I look over to that woman, standing a short distance away - I want to see her reaction. She has this sort of "you have got to be kidding me" expression. The wolves had started out attacking us, and she seems more exasperated by this turn of events than anything else.

We're standing on a snow-covered mountain, the ground here at a steep angle, with some threat above us, and I'm saying to her, "-here. I would rather stand and fight being a single person. And you, we'll-"

19.11.2014

Salvaging My Psyche From Destruction (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I feel as if I’m in a helpless situation, and I’m in an environment that has an “The Evil Within”-esue kind of feeling to it. Basically, I’m inside a realm where I see a huge brain right in front of me, and I presume it’s my mind’s rendering of my brain.

There’s some idiosyncrasies of this portray of my brain, and I can feel the pulsations surging through my body, and the environment, and this causes a vibration that spreads everywhere. A voice tells me something along the lines of how things are going to end very soon, and not in a positive outcome either.

I see words like “Death,” and other wordings that are blurred out, because I instinctively take the stand to ignore them, and do something about this. My body starts glowing, and I can see the inside of it; mostly just what could be a representation of the circulatory system, and nervous system. I can see that parts of the brain are quickly separating from the core, and the sense of urgency to pull them all back together augments.

I cannot comprehend what I will exactly do, and I end up making overly exaggerated motions that seem to be done for the sake of mentally pulling the parts of the brain escaping from my perception of this virtual experiential reality.

And this is all done while this part of a song, “Ordinary World” by RED, is playing (2:48):





It could be the part later on in the song that repeats the same thing, beats me.

But wow, parsing symbolic meaning from that would be more along the lines of existentialism, I guess.


But I’m not really feeling mental stress in my life. So maybe there’s something else I can’t cognitively grasp, unfortunately.

I dreamt a long time ago that I was in the air and i had to choose between heaven and hell, and heaven was scary and I tried to leave, but then someone said no stay wait. So I did and then I met some people. I went to a swimming pool that had lap lanes, and I thought, Im in heaven, but I don't see Jesus anywhere, where is Jesus? And then a guide came and carried me to a different world. I was outside. It turned out it wasnt heaven after all but Jesus carried me to the REAL heaven. I was outside and I walked into a room inside with a huge blue pool and there was a lifeguard sitting on a high chair by the pool.

In another dream about heaven, I was in a literature class and a painting class, and the woman teaching it was angelic and I loved her and I saw her bedroom and her clothing hung up.

In another heaven dream, I was auditioning to Julliard and was asking the adminstration desk at Julliard what I needed to do to get in. It turns out it was actually heaven school and the angel at the desk said something along the lines of, "I hope they have compassion on you." And then suddenly i was in a feild of flowers and i was lost and then God carried me back to my bed and I woke up.

Ive had many dreams where I was visiting heaven. In them I had the lucid sense that I was visiting heaven. It wasnt 100% a lucid dream, but I knew it wasn't ordinary consciousness. I was flying going to classes and talking to angels. The very first heaven dream I had was when I was in a psychiatric hospital I dreamt I was in an angelic swimming water meditation class I was meditating in the water with other people and then I was in a cafeteria and later after I meditated and pondered on this dream I thought it was REAL and NOT A DREAM and I was really visiting heaven in night in body, that God carried my body there and back again. I reflected on it again and realized it was just a dream but it was a prophetic dream, a dream giving me insight and wisdom onto what heaven is like and that what happened in the dream was exactly what happens in the swimming water meditation classes in heaven are. In another dream I was tasting fruit and making fruit smoothies and the food I was dreaming about are foods that only exist in heaven cafeterias. It was another prophetic dream.

Crow and I find ourselves in some sort of temple.
It seems like the room we're in was entirely carved out of some kind of bright stone.
Even though everything looks very clean, it has a neglected feel to it.
Nobody has stepped foot here for a very long time.
Some plants appear to have made the rather futile attempt of growing on the walls.
They were doomed from the beginning though. There is no soil here, no himidity...
Makes you wonder how they got here in the first place.

"Nobody home."



I walk around a little to get a better feel for the place we've found ourselves in.
It seems like this is a single room without any doors or windows.
It is huge though. The ceiling must be at least 20 meters high.
The walls and the floor are engraved with all sorts of things, reaching from long forgotten animals to oddly shaped symbols that I don't recognize.
Even though everything is made from the same material, there's a lot of variation to the place.
It's kind of beautiful in it's own way.

"No way in, no way out, what is this place? Who would build something like this, this place makes no sense."
"What's the purpose of a room without an entrance?"

I think I get it. Sort of. A little bit.

"I don't think this is a room Crow."
"A truly fantastic obvservation Hyu. Your sense of deduction never fails to amaze me."
"So tell me friend. This... ROOM here, you know... if it is not a room, than what is it?"
"... It's... like a doorway."
"A doorway... Listen Hyu, you're not making any sense."
"You said it yourself, there is no purpose to a room without an entrance."
"So naturally, if the room has no entrance it must be a doorway? Whaaaat?"

"Well, there's a little more to it than that."
"Look, we're pretty much at the exact location that you found, right? But it still feels like we're off somehow."
"Yet there is no way to get any closer..."
"Not because there is something preventing us from physically getting closer, but because there is no point in space closer to the location than where we stand."
"But clearly, we're still at some distance."

"Whaaaaaat? That is a clear contradiction."
"It's... shifted."
"Shifted?"
"I don't know what to call it. We're in the correct location, but not quite in the right... dimension?"
"Right... what?"
"There's more to this realm than what is physical. Your spirit for example, it interacts with the physical world, but it is not located in it."
"Oh. Yeah. That kind of makes sense actually."
"How do you go to another dimension?"

Yeah... about that...
Oh hold on a second. I have done this before haven't I?
To go to a non-physical place you have to leave behind the physical.

"Crow, can you mind my body?"
"Mind the... Hyu what the fuck?"
"What? Phoenix abilities and stuff."
"But why would you voluntarily leave your own body? Isn't that dangerous???"
"Hmm..."
"HMM??? YOU DON'T KNOW???"
"Oh calm down, It probably isn't. I've done it before."
"Probably he says..."

I sit down in the middle of the room and concentrate on my own aura.
I then begin to gently separate it from my body and let it drift towards the location Crow found.
And just like that, I find myself in the same room, except... well... it's kind of different.
Everything is much brighter and desaturated. I also feel an odd out of place sensation.
I also have no body, and more importantly, I'm not alone.



There's another person sitting right in front of me.
I say person, but it's kind of difficult to tell.
It's more like a body of light in the shape of a human but genderless being.
Whoever he or she (I'll go with she because of the feminine hair) is, she has her eyes closed, like she's meditating.
I feel like I'm intruding. It seems kind of rude just to enter this place without asking for permission first.
Then again, I wouldn't have known how to do that. I should at least say something though.
But what do I say? I'm not even sure what I'm here for exactly...

"Hi!"

Smooth Hyu. Very smooth.
She looks at me, revealing eyes of pure light.
She answers with a soothing yet assertive voice.

"Here you are."
"Erm... yes?"

Awkward... now what? Oh well, might as well just say it.

"I... I'm not entire sure why I came here."
"You are here because twelve men are after your life, and you are uncertain as to how to deal with that situation."

12 men. The templars. She knows.
I get the feeling that I am yet again dealing with someone who knows more about my life than I do.
But I suppose this is a good thing. If she knows about my situation she might be able to help me.
Suddenly there is hope again...
but... I don't feel it?
Shouldn't I be excited? Shouldn't I feel hopeful right now?
All I feel is eerieness. Everything feels off.
I have no time to deal with those feelings though.
There are more important things at hand.

"I need help."

She takes some time to reply. I can see that she has a difficult time processing the things I say and formulating her thoughts into words.

"Yes. You have come here for help. Your path has stopped in this very location..."
"... There is a decision you have to make."

Usually I'd ask a thousand questions right now. But today is different.
I just go with the flow, not minding that I do not understand.

"I will offer you an item. An item of great importance..."
"You will take it. And then your path will inevitably lead to death."
"Death?"
"Yes."

She doesn't seem concerned about this at all.

"But... you said I had to make a decision."
"Yes. You will take the item."

For some reason I jump to a conclusion expaining why she expresses herself the way she does.
It seems perfectly obvious to me.

"You... you aren't experiencing time the way I do."
"Yes, I see what can be. I see the paths connecting the present to the future."
"But time is always in motion. There are so many possibilities. And every action taken, every decision made has the capability to reorganize the web that is time."
"Yet you already know which decision I will make. You already know that I will take an item from you."
"Yes. Some paths are more likely than others."
"The men that are after you. That is why they hunt you..."

I had a feeling the templars weren't after me purely because I was a dragon. What does that even mean? Being a dragon.

"There are special points in time. Fixed points in time. Points that will always occur."
"So many paths lead to them that some of them will inevitably cross at this very point."
"The men after you must have seen that your path intersects a point that is of great importance to them."
"While it is impossible to foresee the future, one can remove all paths that are not beneficial to oneself, thus increasing the chance of a favorable outcome."

So that is why they are after me. It makes sense. They are going to do something of great importance.
And they have seen that my timeline crosses that event, so they are killing me ahead of time, ensuring that I cannot influence the event.
You cannot forsee the future. But you can influence it in your favor.
But this doesn't matter right now. Nothing matters besides them. I have to deal with them as soon as possible.
I have a few days at most. Maybe only a few hours.

The being summons a small orb of light in her hand and makes a gesture suggesting that I should take it.

"So this is the item that I will take. A decision that will lead me to death."
"Yes. As promised."
"But... will I win?"
"All I can tell you is that it will influence your path greatly."
"And... as promised?"
"You do not remember."

I've heard that a few times too often. "You do not remember". But this time it doesn't matter.
This time I don't care about all the unanswered questions.
She is right. My decision is already made, even if I do not know why.
My right hand is already grabbing towards the orb.
I only hold onto it for a brief moment before it is absorbed by myself.

"Thank you."

I say... in a rather faint voice.
Everything is clear now. At least everything of importance. There is no need for further questions.

I know what this orb is... and I know why I am going to die...