Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Some apocalyptic kind of scenario, muddy and populated by dangerous monsters. I encounter Pedro Pascal and while we are hiding and trying to escape some dragon like creature, we start making out. He is wearing a white shirt that is too immaculate for this scenario, I put my hand under it and then towards his pants. It gets serious, but the last thing I remember is me holding his dick before we see a drone outside in the sky, then other lights and again the dragon dark silhouette in the distance. Then dragon comes closer and is surrounded by orbs with lights. I comment how unusual that is and then a bunch of dinosaurs stampedes from nearby towards us, followed by a T-rex.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I think I am in Brussels wiith some acquaintances. I learn that Sevelina has come out as gay and I am happy for her, but also wonder why she still doesn't talk to me.
We come accross a group of street performers, illusionists, and they are inviting people to join some indoor show nearby. I am dragged along with the group and we attend the show, which strangely involves computers. So their trick seems more like hacking than a magic trick and I am sure it is some scam. Also, only people without basic IT skills could not see through that. I sneak into their backstage to have a word with them and ask for a refund, but once they realize I am onto them, they disappear quickly through a back door and lock it. Then my friends join me and say the front door is closed, so we are basically trapped, After some struglle we knock one door down and look for them outside, but they are gone.

With an undefined friend, as a passenger in his car. We are in the middle of a forest. He calls Carlos, saying he leaves nearby, to ask if we can drop by. I say he doesn't want us there, because I had asked once if I could come for a visit and he had said no. But my friend is convinced he will not say no and after a long conversation on the phone, he manages to get a yes. But he only says he is bringing me along after the yes and I notice that Carlos gets upset. Not that he doesn't like me, on the contrary, but his wife is so very jealous of me. We drive there, it is an old palace covered in traditional Portuguese tiles, white and blue, depicting historical scenes. I am surprised. Carlos looks very tanned and fit, He is just wearing shorts, no shirt. His wife is a very average looking lady, short, with glasses and unnatractive hair, but she seems welcoming, or at least she is making an effort to be welcoming. There is something odd about how simple they look and the place they live in. They take us over a terrace with potted plants and a couple pets. They actually live in a much less fancy area of this palace and I realize they are the keepers and not the owners. Carlos is strangely being very open with me, very handsy and I fear that his wife might indeed get jealous. But so far, she keeps smiling. Then they takes us to the part of the palace which houses some foundation and a museum. I say I'd love to see the interiors and they take us first to inside the museum, not their home. There, I get lost from them in the visiting crowd. I bump into my friends Nuno and Ana, I say hi and they say hi back but they don't stop walking. I bump with them again further ahead and poke Nuno and say hi again. Again they reply but keep moving, looking a bit annoyed with my insistence, so I let them go. Then at some room is some minister presiding over some official ceremony and he adresses some navy officers and they salute. There are also some navy and army people outside, doing the museum tour and at that moment they all stop in their tracks to salute, leaving everyone else confused if they should wait or walk past them and carry on. The museum is very random and it has stuff about Portuguese navigators and explorers, but also some part about a dude who was an actor and decided at an old age to become a bullfighter and married some Spanish royalty lady and there are photos of their wedding and a real size photo of the lady in her wedding dress with a several meter long tail.

Now with Riverstone and some new friends, but I think I am still on that palace/museum, entering a new area that is a bit more surreal. I lose sight of them, and go from room to room looking for them and I find a kind of baby nursery, with a few different rooms for kids of different ages. Then end up at another room which is crowded. People are standing in a long line with bags, like an airport security check place. Suddenly I worry that I am not wearing a mask in the middle of this packed crowd, so I look for an exit. Outside I find myself in the city of Porto. Right in front of me on the sidewalk, I see a dog in need of help, but he growls when I approach him. So I let him go, feeling helpless. I call Riverstone on my phone but he doesn't answer. I feel left alone and angry that my friends didn't care for me and haven't even called in to check on me. Then I meet some tall handsome stranger who says he can get me out of here and I am curious, so I follow him. He takes me inside the facility I came from again, but to some different empty area with wild technology. He speaks to some bodyless voice that guides us through some procedure. Him and some other guys that just appeared there, put on some weird looking helmets. They look like legendary nordic warrior gods. They offer me one helmet too and say to stand by their side and that I might get dizy. And I do. I fall flat on my back and can't move, but I am aware. I feel one of the guys laying me down on some bed and making me comfortable, he touches my clothes and for a second I fear he might rape me, so I flinch and regain some control. He assures me it is ok and I trust. We all need to be in physical contact for some reason, so they interlace their feet with mine and for a few seconds I feel between worlds: I can feel my body laying in bed (real bed? or dream bed?) with them around me, but I also already see the other side, the street where I last was with my friends before we entered the palace/museum/whatever. Slowly I wake up there and I am laying on a bench and I spot my friends sitting on another bench. I wanna hug them, but I am also feeling angry. Riverstone says they looked for me, but the phones weren't working and they also got lost on that surreal place. I think he may be saying the truth. Then there is some kind of parade on the street in front of us. It is either some wedding or a funeral. It is festive but also gloomy and it is hard to distinguish. Night falls and I spot some lights in the skies. First is just a pair of orbs swirling, then they form shapes like minimalistic angels or fairies and one comes down straight at me. People in the parade freak out and run in all directions. I freeze, not knowing if this light thing will hit me like a lightning or not. But it just flies-by like saying hello to me or goodbye and up it goes and disappears and I feel it was the guys who brought me over to my reality, just saying goodbye before they leave.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


I am a college student and I hit and run a man and left him bleeding to death on the road. My thought was that he was going to die anyway, before help arrived and so I rationalized that fleeing wouldn't ruin even more lives, namely mine and of those around me who would suffer immensely if I was convicted of manslaughter. So I decided to run away and pretend I had nothing to do with it and act normally. I was absolutely sure I could pull it off, even when the police appeared on campus and started investigating the students.
I am heading to the library and the detectives are in the corridor talking to people and my paranoid mind believes a couple of them seem to be watching every movement I make and my facial expressions. I do get a bit nervous and I bump into a table and throw an ashtray to the ground, but I am already out of their sight. At the library I steal some chips from some kid who has a bag of chips open on his table. He doesn't even flinch. Wonder if that's because he is my friend or he just fears me. I go meet a friend at the most far back table and he is playing a computer game with cars and he is very proud that he managed to fit a car with a long hood into the back of a truck cabin and make a weird truck trailer, just to prove his smart and ability to bend the rules and codes of the game. I couldn't care less and cars actually trigger me at the moment, but I engage with his enthusiasm, to not raise suspicion. Later on I meet a group of friends, who are all very shocked with the events. One of the girls (looks my old friend Mara) says she would have no mercy for whomever the killer is. I feel very uncomfortable that I am the person and imagining if it is ever found out.
We go for a walk outside the campus and we pass by the road where the accident happened, but they don't know that. There is no longer any sign of what happened, besides a patch of sand the authorities spread to soak up the blood. But my friends don't know, they have no idea where the accident happened, so "Mara" asks what is this for and I swiftly say probably to cover some oil spill. They look at me a bit strangely and I say I am just guessing. We arrive at some snack-bar / pub by the side of the road, where they like to go, and the cops and detectives are gathered there. This makes me anxious. There is also Master Harry, a Scott who is like the keeper of the campus. He spots us and invite us along. But my friends feel super interested in talking to the cops. The owner of this place is a surfer and has a long board decorating the place, above our heads and one of the detectives apparently also surfs so they engage in conversation regarding the long board. I am not interested.
Then the older detective throws me a bate, by teasing me about a plant cared by the bar owner. I am not the least interested. He asks me stuff like if I can identify it, if I'd like to have one too and what I think about this guy managing to have one in this climate. And I am like "why should I care?". Then he shows me it is a pineapple and asks me if I shouldn't I be more enthusiastic about plants. I realize he already knows too much about me and my interests, which means I am a suspect. I do have a greenhouse that I care for meticulously at my parents house and I care a lot about plants, just not in this context with the stress I am feeling. I am seeing my life going down the drain. I don't know how they know, but they already suspect it was me, and are just trying to catch me. I think about my plants dying if I am arrested and I feel extremely sad for that, more than anything else.

Back to previous dream. I am not caught yet, but I am going crazy with the guilt and duplicity. I have to deal with several people related to the victim and the feeling that I am keeping this secret from them and they would hate me if they knew the truth is consuming me. I am wishing to go to some island where nobody knows me and start a new life.
I am staying at some pension of a lady who isn't particularly fond of me. She complains of something I supposedly did in the kitchen and asks me to clean it, but I am relieved to know it is just a silly thing I didn't even do. She has no clue that some other night I was drunk and peed in the kitchen. So I go look into the fridge and instead of cleaning whatever, I steal something, like some cheese and bread to make a sandwich. Then I hear her talking to her daughter, who just arrived from school and is complaining about something. Her mother says "well, you're not doing anything, because her mom is Carolina Herrera and nobody dares to upset that family at this moment, because of the terrible thing that happened to her dad."
They are talking about the man I killed. I feel guilty again and run to my room. The room looks like my mom's office and there are tigers outside of the window trying to come in, so I rush to shut all the openings and lock the door.

At my mom's house, It's night and I look outside. I spot a UFO, just a white light orb dancing around at distance. Then I spot another one, static and the first one moves towards the still one and then they both move away. During the day I spot one again in the sky. I start seeing them a lot. One day I spot one very small just hovering a street. I now am able to spot them all over the streets, spying on people, unaware of them. Only I seem to be able to see them. with the help of some friends, I capture one. It is the size of a basketball and it loses the ability to camouflage when offline. I show to my friends, who believed me but had never seen one themselves. I teach my friends how to spot them, and we can see them in the sky, in strategic places, positioned in geometric clusters. They form ice crystal like shapes with arms connecting them inside pentagonal areas. These bigger structures seem to be regulating the climate or other purposes. The little ones at the street level are watching us on a daily basis.

Back to the dream. Me and my friends are now a rebel force meeting in secret and collecting data on these UFOs, trying to understand what they are here for. One day, I am on a bus ride with one of this friends and we spot one in the sky, after a long time not seeing them. We wondered if they found a new way to cloak or had simply disappeared. Then we see two jets flying on each side of the orb but at some point leaving and the orb staying fixed in a position. Me and friend point to it but no one else seems to see it. As I point to it, I feel like I am pushing a button and the orb opens up into a square of squares of different size, like a virtual keyboard. On top rows are bigger blue squares and bellow are smaller red squares. So I do what I did before and also pretend to click them as if they are buttons. I push a random combination of keys. The UFO/keyboard disappears and immediately strange things happen, like some cars on the road going bananas as if they lost their electronics, and going over the rails and crashing. We rush to meet with the others and tell them what happened. They are a bit incredulous, but I explain maybe all orbs are programmable but we need to crack the code and see which combinations do what. Then the girl who usually brings us food comes in looking scared. Says the building is surrounded and they threatened her. Everyone wonders how they found us and I say I actually told them and it is part of a bigger plan, but they think I am just crazy and are in shock that I did that. I seem to have a really intricate plan, but I wake up before finding out.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

A Rinpoche I don't know is visiting Portugal. He says the Rinpoches house needs to be emptied fast and they are looking for some place where to store furniture and books. I offer to store the books but say I have no covered place to store the furniture. He argues it just needs to be a cemented floor, no need for cover cause they can use a tarp. But they also don't know how long it will be, so I keep saying no, afraid of the weather changes. Anyway, this Rinpoche hands me one book as an example and I treat it as a precious treasure.

Attending some VIP award ceremony for which I bought a ticket. I go to the main entrance of the venue, I look fabulous and confident, but the door keepers tell me the entrance is for guests only or nominees. The bought tickets have to enter through a lateral door. There is a mother and daughter who also get denied entrance and I join them in looking for the secondary door. I try to cheer them up by showing enthusiasm and not upset with the setback. I have some big props/ jewels I have to carry in my hands and I am sick of it and considering leaving them behind. They tell me not to do it.

At an underground bunker in the USSR. An accident with grenades exploding at the entrance reveals our location to some team outside looking for us. They enter through an opening on the back. I resist but all others surrender, so I also give up. They subject us to indoctrination treatment, make us watch videos about the great motherland. I laugh and do not allow the brainwashing. The others decided to play along, figure they will suffer less. I also consider they might put me in sleep deprivation and so on, so I also consider playing along, as it is naive of them to think we can actually believe their bullshit after watching some videos.

Crossing some station and I become lucid. Drop my backpack, take my shoes and socks, open a door to another dream. There is a garden and a nice party with beautiful dancers like nymphs. There are a lot of white lotuses with purple orbs glowing in the center. Up close the orbs look like a white bubble of a thin membrane with the purple one inside. I put my hand through the external one and pick the purple one, which actually looks like a molecule with several atoms and bridges, also made from the thin membrane. They start to deflate but I make them turn into a sort of purple lotus flower and then I eat it. Tastes like raw cabbage. That was sort of pointless. Look around and think of lying a bit and decide what to do next. Think about my guru but get distracted by Henri, which I haven't seen in years but is now here in a suit and tie. I call him, he doesn't even notice I am there. I wake up cause I am snoring loud.

With my mom, I think in my home because there is a fireplace burning. I leave her for a moment in the living room and when I come back she threw a lot of absurd things in the fire, like a can where I keep coffee capsules, a wooden box and a bunch of unopened yogurts. I can't save the yogurts because they melted away, but manage to recover the rest before it burns. She has no recollection of having done that. I surely didn't, so then we get really concerned about her mental health.

I am a boy playing piano on stage at a public recital. Some colleagues trolled me and put something inside the piano so when I reach some notes it sounds really bad. I have to stop and open the piano and find a saxofone inside. I show it to the audience, they show sympathy for me, but my teacher who also despises me, doesn't allow me to sit back and play again and announces the next kid to perform. I am revolted. I try to cope but can't sit in the audience. I sneak out and head for some beautiful deserted place. Seems like we are in an island. I see ocean, a bay, but also a mountain and chose to go there. Just go first to my room pick my bag so I can go there, but I can't find the bag. Outside sitting in a car is Tatiana but she pretends not to see me.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At a department store. Going through different sections, checking clothes, then latest electronics and end up in the music and film area. Not looking for anything specific, but remember to take a look for Björk albums, since I don't buy cds for years. I find a cd which I didn't know, and check the inlay booklet. Looks nice, but I think it is one of those Björk albums which I don't particularly like and I wonder if I am willing to pay whatever it costs. But there is no price tag, so I need to go to the check-out with it.

Then I have a FA and think I am in my bedroom. It is very dark, but once again I see this little purplish orb moving around the room. It is beautiful, but it also makes me feel uneasy. Since last time my teacher told me to swallow it, my first instinct was to do so again. So when it got near the bed, I opened my mouth widely and swallowed it. It went totally dark and then I woke up or entered a dream, I am not sure.

Morning of October 7, 2008. Tuesday.



I am standing near a river in late morning. A mist begins to grow and rise from the river. Later, it seems more like early evening.

Eventually, the mist is elsewhere with an undetermined orange light within it, implied to be like a miniature sun. Zsuzsanna is present at one point and some of the light within the mist shines through and augments her beauty. (I am unsure if the setting is implied to be indoors or outdoors, a common ambiguous factor of the dream state.)

---

My dream begins with the common water induction (water being autosymbolism for entering the dream state, occurring as such at least once in every normal sleeping period for over fifty years). The mist symbolizes the essence of the dream state itself, which obscures the orb of light (conscious self identity). This is very similar to many previous dreams of which utilize the same autosymbolism, typical RAS mediation of which is similar to many dreams I have had about something being wrong with the sun, which is biological autosymbolism for my conscious self identity being incomplete while in the dream state.

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(The first two episodes of the fourth season of “Supernatural” aired the night before, included here for personal date-tracking purposes only.)

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>Dreamed I was watching a video of the band Midnight Oil allegedly playing "Generals Talk" at 4:55 in the video, similar to the "Oils on Water" concert in 1985 but the actual song playing was "King of the Mountain"

>Had instructions and a code "cookie" for a hidden elevator in a specific location off 70-something west in a city. Got in, used the code. Music at some point. Section of dream mystery. Next, used code again and went down under the surface of the planet and saw Mary Kate & Ashley as pre-ten year olds next to this gold orb which talked very wise deeply knowing things yet what did it speak to me again? One thing was "A few seconds is enough to kill 78,000 people", though I may have the number somewhat off it's still between 70,000 and 79,999.

Note: I went to Dreammoods.com and looked up "Orb". WHAT I FOUND THERE ACTUALLY CHECKS OUT AT LEAST SOMEWHAT!

"Orb
To see an orb in your dream symbolizes truth and a sudden understanding or realization. You have clarity on some nagging problem or issue. Alternatively, the orb refers to your subconscious. Something from your subconscious is trying to make its way to the surface. The color of the orb indicates whether the dream is positive or negative. If it is multi-color, then it is positive.
"

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am on top of a mountain when I witness an amazing out-of-this-world happening. First some kind of ball of light appears in the sky, surrounded by a kind of dark vortex around it. It starts growing and causing some disturbances on the ground. Then some other type of energy in the shape of stormy clouds seem to appear to counteract its effect. Then a giant alien being appears in the sky and the energy ball grows even stronger and starts sucking some things towards it and disintegrates them. I can clearly feel reality fading away as it enters that light. I'm right at the edge of its pull and I feel it touching me deep inside and showing me the “reality” after everything I know disappears. It is the end, nothing will remain. I feel an emptiness and a sadness beyond words. I am a river of tears in the shape of a soul. But the counteracting force seems to be gaining hold and preventing it from moving as fast as it would. I don't know what this means. I still feel it's the end of everything today, but now I feel the urge to warn people. So I descend from the top of the mountain and I spread the news high and low that the world is coming to an end. The people closer to me do not believe me, even seeing the giant luminous ball in the sky growing by the minute. How can they deny it? I don't get it! But many others believe the same thing I do and the news is spreading fast. I then encounter people abandoning shopping, all of a sudden realizing that they don't need any of that since they will stop existing soon and then realizing that it was true anyway at any other moment of their existence. We were always going to die, we just didn't know when. I feel what they feel, they too are a river of tears.
I feel the urge to find my friend Zilla. I don't know where she is and instead I go to her parents. Her father opens the door. He invites me in. He already knows what's coming. He says I won't have time to see Zilla, as she is far away, but that he has a gift she wanted to give me. I see it right away: she had bought two awesome white samurai swords, identical, one for each of us. They are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I don't even dare to touch them. I tell him to let them stay together as they are now on a shelf. I will never touch them, there's no point. I am happy just to have seen them.

Crow and I find ourselves in some sort of temple.
It seems like the room we're in was entirely carved out of some kind of bright stone.
Even though everything looks very clean, it has a neglected feel to it.
Nobody has stepped foot here for a very long time.
Some plants appear to have made the rather futile attempt of growing on the walls.
They were doomed from the beginning though. There is no soil here, no himidity...
Makes you wonder how they got here in the first place.

"Nobody home."



I walk around a little to get a better feel for the place we've found ourselves in.
It seems like this is a single room without any doors or windows.
It is huge though. The ceiling must be at least 20 meters high.
The walls and the floor are engraved with all sorts of things, reaching from long forgotten animals to oddly shaped symbols that I don't recognize.
Even though everything is made from the same material, there's a lot of variation to the place.
It's kind of beautiful in it's own way.

"No way in, no way out, what is this place? Who would build something like this, this place makes no sense."
"What's the purpose of a room without an entrance?"

I think I get it. Sort of. A little bit.

"I don't think this is a room Crow."
"A truly fantastic obvservation Hyu. Your sense of deduction never fails to amaze me."
"So tell me friend. This... ROOM here, you know... if it is not a room, than what is it?"
"... It's... like a doorway."
"A doorway... Listen Hyu, you're not making any sense."
"You said it yourself, there is no purpose to a room without an entrance."
"So naturally, if the room has no entrance it must be a doorway? Whaaaat?"

"Well, there's a little more to it than that."
"Look, we're pretty much at the exact location that you found, right? But it still feels like we're off somehow."
"Yet there is no way to get any closer..."
"Not because there is something preventing us from physically getting closer, but because there is no point in space closer to the location than where we stand."
"But clearly, we're still at some distance."

"Whaaaaaat? That is a clear contradiction."
"It's... shifted."
"Shifted?"
"I don't know what to call it. We're in the correct location, but not quite in the right... dimension?"
"Right... what?"
"There's more to this realm than what is physical. Your spirit for example, it interacts with the physical world, but it is not located in it."
"Oh. Yeah. That kind of makes sense actually."
"How do you go to another dimension?"

Yeah... about that...
Oh hold on a second. I have done this before haven't I?
To go to a non-physical place you have to leave behind the physical.

"Crow, can you mind my body?"
"Mind the... Hyu what the fuck?"
"What? Phoenix abilities and stuff."
"But why would you voluntarily leave your own body? Isn't that dangerous???"
"Hmm..."
"HMM??? YOU DON'T KNOW???"
"Oh calm down, It probably isn't. I've done it before."
"Probably he says..."

I sit down in the middle of the room and concentrate on my own aura.
I then begin to gently separate it from my body and let it drift towards the location Crow found.
And just like that, I find myself in the same room, except... well... it's kind of different.
Everything is much brighter and desaturated. I also feel an odd out of place sensation.
I also have no body, and more importantly, I'm not alone.



There's another person sitting right in front of me.
I say person, but it's kind of difficult to tell.
It's more like a body of light in the shape of a human but genderless being.
Whoever he or she (I'll go with she because of the feminine hair) is, she has her eyes closed, like she's meditating.
I feel like I'm intruding. It seems kind of rude just to enter this place without asking for permission first.
Then again, I wouldn't have known how to do that. I should at least say something though.
But what do I say? I'm not even sure what I'm here for exactly...

"Hi!"

Smooth Hyu. Very smooth.
She looks at me, revealing eyes of pure light.
She answers with a soothing yet assertive voice.

"Here you are."
"Erm... yes?"

Awkward... now what? Oh well, might as well just say it.

"I... I'm not entire sure why I came here."
"You are here because twelve men are after your life, and you are uncertain as to how to deal with that situation."

12 men. The templars. She knows.
I get the feeling that I am yet again dealing with someone who knows more about my life than I do.
But I suppose this is a good thing. If she knows about my situation she might be able to help me.
Suddenly there is hope again...
but... I don't feel it?
Shouldn't I be excited? Shouldn't I feel hopeful right now?
All I feel is eerieness. Everything feels off.
I have no time to deal with those feelings though.
There are more important things at hand.

"I need help."

She takes some time to reply. I can see that she has a difficult time processing the things I say and formulating her thoughts into words.

"Yes. You have come here for help. Your path has stopped in this very location..."
"... There is a decision you have to make."

Usually I'd ask a thousand questions right now. But today is different.
I just go with the flow, not minding that I do not understand.

"I will offer you an item. An item of great importance..."
"You will take it. And then your path will inevitably lead to death."
"Death?"
"Yes."

She doesn't seem concerned about this at all.

"But... you said I had to make a decision."
"Yes. You will take the item."

For some reason I jump to a conclusion expaining why she expresses herself the way she does.
It seems perfectly obvious to me.

"You... you aren't experiencing time the way I do."
"Yes, I see what can be. I see the paths connecting the present to the future."
"But time is always in motion. There are so many possibilities. And every action taken, every decision made has the capability to reorganize the web that is time."
"Yet you already know which decision I will make. You already know that I will take an item from you."
"Yes. Some paths are more likely than others."
"The men that are after you. That is why they hunt you..."

I had a feeling the templars weren't after me purely because I was a dragon. What does that even mean? Being a dragon.

"There are special points in time. Fixed points in time. Points that will always occur."
"So many paths lead to them that some of them will inevitably cross at this very point."
"The men after you must have seen that your path intersects a point that is of great importance to them."
"While it is impossible to foresee the future, one can remove all paths that are not beneficial to oneself, thus increasing the chance of a favorable outcome."

So that is why they are after me. It makes sense. They are going to do something of great importance.
And they have seen that my timeline crosses that event, so they are killing me ahead of time, ensuring that I cannot influence the event.
You cannot forsee the future. But you can influence it in your favor.
But this doesn't matter right now. Nothing matters besides them. I have to deal with them as soon as possible.
I have a few days at most. Maybe only a few hours.

The being summons a small orb of light in her hand and makes a gesture suggesting that I should take it.

"So this is the item that I will take. A decision that will lead me to death."
"Yes. As promised."
"But... will I win?"
"All I can tell you is that it will influence your path greatly."
"And... as promised?"
"You do not remember."

I've heard that a few times too often. "You do not remember". But this time it doesn't matter.
This time I don't care about all the unanswered questions.
She is right. My decision is already made, even if I do not know why.
My right hand is already grabbing towards the orb.
I only hold onto it for a brief moment before it is absorbed by myself.

"Thank you."

I say... in a rather faint voice.
Everything is clear now. At least everything of importance. There is no need for further questions.

I know what this orb is... and I know why I am going to die...

My family and I were staying in a big, old house for some reason. There were other people there that I didn't know, strange kids. One girl walked around holding a big brightly coloured blanket behind her, dragging it on the ground.

That night, I was in the bedroom asleep, face down. I was awoken the sound of something being dropped onto the table next to the bed. I then heard a curious sounding male voice that was very clear, and sounded like it was in my head. He said "you have a delivery from a mysterious dark figure... a familiar old man". Then I turned and saw three tightly wrapped objects in a pile on my side table. They were shaped like dinner rolls. I watched as a tiny white orb like thing left the room out the door way.

I didn't open the wrapped objects in the dream, but there were three of them.

I slowly gain consciousness. I notice bright lights and a faint constant repetitive beep. As I stir from sleeping the noise gets louder. My eyes adjust and theres a floating orb hanging above my bed. It's glowing intensely and has the oily look to it, the colours shifting as I begin to stir...

I try to sit up but I'm strapped down, I look and my arms are filled with surgical needles pumping in different liquids into my body. I start to panick and the orb starts to vibrate and make a low "buzz" noise.

It calms me.

I look around the room trying to figure out what's going on. There’s a figure in the corner of the room. My eyes are clear but for some reason this person is just a black shadow. He starts to talk, soothing voice...

I recognize the voice but have no idea who this person is, My heart starts to flutter and the beeping mechanism catches up with my heart. I recognize the voice as someone I'm in love with, yet I'm in pain.

I wake up and instantly have the feeling I have dreamed about this man before. Yet I don't know him in real life...

Where, oh where are you dream man?

Right, so I remember several dreams nearly every night, and they are always fairly involved, a lot of imagery and breaking down the happenings of the day. A lot of them have concerned me, and of course I take them all seriously, but I don't want everyone I know to have to hear about another, so here is a nightmare of sorts that I had.
(before sleeping i was insistent on keeping the kitchen light on in the apartment I live in, and slept on the sofa which is close to the kitchen light)
The Dream:
In my dream, I was in my old house which was recently sold. I lived there with my mother and father before their divorce, it was a very nice place, but sold as a result of the divorce. So a lot of karma and whatnot is related to it, plus, it is my quintessential home place.
I was in my parents' bedroom, but i was on a futon with a white down comforter and sleeping with a fluffy cat that would fuss in the covers. I fell asleep, with this really bright light on to keep safe. But I woke up when this uber bright incandescent yellow tinted orb (golf ball sized) when into me, under my skin, and started speaking to me creepily, but it was mostly the sensation I felt which was like it was a dark message, a dark bulb/light, and it really disturbed the muscles in my side where it was lodged.
I got up, and by the front door was my friend/ex-friend who was sleeping on the ground, and I lifted up my shirt from the area on my right abdomen where this orb thing was, (I felt like a message was carved) and he said something along the lines of "you should look at this in the mirror" and then my dad was there and he looked at it too and said "you should really take a look at this, it says ''you are (nothing more than) a worthless human grave" or something like that.
(Then I woke up, turned off the kitchen light because it was a lot like light in my dream, went back to bed)
Now in my next dream I was at the house my mother now lives/works at, sleeping on her couch (maybe parallel to fact I was sleeping on apartment couch) and it was dark, but not scary. Then, I got a picture text on my clunky cell phone of some (plastic/decorative/holiday) of some skulls from my old sold house, as if to reiterate the message of dying/grave/whatever.

I also half remember seeing these two little girls that I know in real life, who have huge eyes, they have showed up in my dreams sometimes. I used to be/am still timid of them. they were in the kitchen in my mom's current residence

My thoughts/information to reader: I have had a lot that I'm keeping secret lately, and had some bad eating habits and have just checked out socially. I've also been paranoid about my ears and neck. I've been feeling very emotionally dead in terms of happy feelings.
I would like some help. What in the fuck could this mean? I think it has to do with me going uphill from my downhill lifestyle lately, or maybe I am just going down some more. (I've had full blown precognitive dreams before, or just intuitive/informational ones about people and places and what they are related to me. So maybe I am going to through something tough? Or through rebirth? or should i be concerned?)

thank you