I'm in a suburban area near my place, it's dusk and the summer. I'm lost and don't know where I am. I make it to the edge of a sports field. I'm balancing on large wooden planks, like bleachers or a workout stand. I jump to a table across from me, it's a massive pounce that surprises me. I make it to the wooden table. Jumping off of the wooden table I feel my left hip is stuck, I try to work it with my hands, did I hurt myself? I try to move it and it feels more and more uncomfortable. When I start to feel panic I wake up and see my hip was in a weird position. I enter a place that looks like a small daycare center by a play park. It's a mental institution and there are some people with clear problems there. I walk around and bump into a young student adviser from school. She says that I'm going to be institutionalized for a week. She says she'll pay for it with her insurance and this makes me feel grateful but this surprises me anyway and I'm a little upset. Why? She says I should know that this is for my own good and I know in my heart why I should be observed for a week. I shrug and agree with her. It does make sense. (Did I have a tearful breakdown before?) As I get hunched in a corner of a room and get comfortable my mom comes in. Is she being institutionalized as well? I talk to her and it seems that she is visiting me. The young student adviser teases me, is my mommy visiting me in the mental hospital? I feel a bit embarrassed but the sting goes away fast, she was just teasing in a friendly way. I get out after only a day (?) and leave. I'm in the center of a small town, walking around a large building in early afternoon sunlight. In my dream, I try to remember my dreams during the night (!) and draw a little man holding something. The thing is important. I'm learning how to use a new computerized milling machine that works with DOS. There is a lot of different icons to look at. I try to think of something nice to make and a teacher says that I should make a blade for a turning machine. This confuses me but I like the challenge. I work and mill a long piece of square metal with another guy. In the hallway outside, it is a grey day outside. The walls are white and square. I talk to an older guy. We are going to infiltrate a cult. I say I'd be good at it, I've seen a lot of spiritual circles and know how they work. I talk quite a bit and worry I'm annoying the guy. I go to a desk that has two bowls of fruit. I take an apple and start eating it as I wait for the guy. He appears and sounds angry. Was I allowed to take an apple? He then says people are allowed to take fruit, just take the ones on the bottom first since they are older. I feel relief.
It was snowing outside and I was still living in my childhood home in Seattle. My dog had to go outside. So, I put on a coat and went to go out with her. But right before I reached the back garden, I fell into a ditch that had been covered by the snow and therefore invisible. I was completely buried but was eventually able to crawl out to the surface. I went inside completely covered in mud. When I was in, I took off my gloves and looked at my hands which appeared abnormally small. This seemed peculiar so I ran to the nearest bathroom to check myself out in the mirror. I found out that I was 10 years old again (just physically). I shouted: "Fuck! I am not doing this shit again!" I was beyond angry and annoyed. I did not by any means want to relive my pre pubescent and the majority of my teen years. I went downstairs to the calendar to check and see if I was in some sort of a time paradox but it was present day. This gave me a slight relief. I then changed scenes into a doctor's office where he was holding a Popsicle stick in my mouth and concluded that the only thing that was wrong with me was all in my head and sent me to a mental hospital. I was angry as hell. I was so close to being an adult, when it all got taken away from me.
Non-Lucid (Side Notes) Lucid (I am just going to post some small fragments from a dream I had last night and the day before.) --------------------------------------- - I was brought to a semi-dumpy psychiatric hospital. I remember screaming and crying because I knew they were going to do experiments on me and use pills isolation to try to alter my mind and personality. - I was in a medium sized dorm room, except my bed was in a rectangular nook area. I looked to my side and saw a black guy laying in the bed next to me and I remember asking: "They let boys and girls stay in the same rooms together?" then I said how I didn't mean that in some perverted way. He smiled and said yes, then went to sleep. - I was in a large office. A head psychologist who I'd been fighting with off and on about treatments was talking with me when I guess I collapsed and was coughing up blood and blood was also oozing out of my head. I remember him saying that I had some sort of infection and that the only way to get rid of it was...for him to find a dried up hornets nest, pee on it then shove it in my mouth??? My P.O.V was like I was watching a movie, then switched back to first person view where I noticed the hornets nest in my mouth and yanked it out. I started screaming how he was crazy and I remember (as if I had another body) thinking that he felt horrible about what he was doing and was scared I was going to die. I don't remember much else from that --------------------------------------- - I was on a plane full of people and someone had a gun. They were going around picking people to shoot off and I eventually got shot int he shoulder ( I think ). --------------------------------------- (From the 16th or 17th, I believe this was...) - False awakening. I woke up in bed, looked around and came to the conclusion that I was dreaming. I did the "poke finger in hand" RC and it worked. I plugged my nose and I could breathe, so I decided to move onward. I walked through my house and out to the car where I drove into town (which changed to a complete different town) and ended up waking up for real a few moments after.
Bare feet touch to the cold linoleum one after the other, as I creep up the back stairs to the second floor. Everything is white and open and contained, but the dark creeps along with me, and the world is cast in a cold, blue pallor. The door opens before me, my feet touch scratchy carpet as I step into the bedroom. My nightgown whispers faintly in an absent breeze as I twist, taking in the contents of the room. It seems almost normal, a bed to the left of the door, foot facing me. There are stuffed animals everywhere, strewn across the room like they've been played with. They haven't been. There's a window above the bed, and I can see the balconies a floor above the lobby. I hear water running. A half-open door lets light stream into the rest of the room, and I open it, squinting against the harsh yellow of the light, of the tiles, of the linoleum. The tap is running cold water into the bathtub, and I can see my brother there, hands curled around his knees - There have been rumours, faked suicides and murder - the first thing I do is turn his wrists over to look for injuries. I sigh in relief when I see that he's fine, and I move to turn off the water. I freeze. I can feel something, in the walls. "Boom." I whisper. The boy looks up at me for the first time. I pull him up from the tub, grab a towel from above the toilet, wrap it around his shoulders. "Go to bed." I say. "Stay there." He walks toward his bed without another look back. I press one hand to the ceramic tile in the shower (shh, calm), use the other hand to turn off the water and remove the drain from the tub, drenching my sleeves as I do. Tick, tick, tick but it won't hurt him if he stays in bed, and I need to make my escape. I leave the room, taking stairs directly from the bathroom to the basement, to my own room, trekking barefoot over thin blue carpet to a room that resembles an office. I see my bed, empty, though the covers are strewn about. "Hey," says a voice from behind me. I turn around, look up, hope that he won't notice the fact that my clothes are drenched from the water. He doesn't. "We were wondering where you've been all night." I smile, and the guard moves on to continue his rounds, completely unconcerned about the little girl who was committed here long before he ever got the job. After all, I never did mention who the murderer was. Well meaning though I might have been. Mental Institutions With Lax Security. Scare Factor: 2/10 for worrying over the girl's brother. I was never concerned for my own safety. I wonder when that bomb is set to explode?
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