#445 - DEILD - 7:45AM The Monday got me this morning and I just said to heck with it, I'll go in at 9 and sleep a little more. I am dreaming and laying in some sort of box with dirt in it in the gutter. There's some tube running off of some part of my body to drain something out. I feel the worst depression I've ever known and I decide to just lay there until I die. I really want to die. The thought of it moving on feels like a great relief. Then, I think that I should at least try to get lucid while I am lying her and this partially wakes me up. I focus on body relaxation and vibes start. I try getting out but it feels off somehow so I go more visual and find that I am walking in the house. I feel the presence of my wife or someone (but it feels like her energy) following close behind me but I can't see her. It's comforting. I step out the front door and all my depression drops away and is replaced with a feeling of bliss. The air is pleasantly cool and I am delighted that I had an OBE. It has been forever. There is a light snow on the ground and the dream is unstable so I roll around in it. I still feel my wife near me watching over me like a guardian. I love it. The birds are singing loud and clear and it is the most beautiful bird sound. Everything feels like heaven and I enjoy every second of this visually unstable dream. I soon wake up.
A shortie, but a biggie. I dream I'm in a small, traditional Japanese restaurant -- it actually resembles a lot like one that I frequent in real life. ALL my co-workers are there (I work in a small non-profit, so a little bit over a dozen or so people), with our boss in the middle while everyone else are off to the side, framing him -- although, while I "distinctively" know it's our boss, I only instinctively know everyone else is there without actually recognizing faces. Everyone is wearing business suits/dresses, and also trench coats. There is a very slight movie screen pan-out effect in my vision to reveal the co-workers on the edges. No one is talking to each other; everyone is just staring into space, lost in their own thoughts and looking grim. Finally, our boss says "Let's go." Everyone puts on sunglasses, and all head out towards the backdoor. It looks like everyone is moving in a "we are about to go on a mission" movie slow-mo style. Everyone except for me. I'm still in bed. So, context: We actually do have a big event that we are doing in real life, and everyone is drained from it. In order to prepare for the event, I had to wake up at 5:30am, and I got home late last night because we had the same event (and same wake-up time) at the other side of the state. Plus that it takes me a while to sleep, AND that I woke up at 1:00am (thinking it was almost 5:00), and I'm very apprehensive about not getting enough sleep. ANYWAYS, so when everyone in my dream starts leaving to go to the event, dream me is still in bed, startled that I'm somehow not ready yet. But ah ha! Breakthrough (possibly)! I "saw" myself in bed, and I think for the very first time, a part of me -- for a very, brief instant -- questioned the validity of my sleeping. I also know that this scene is very brief, so I may also be slipping out of sleep at the time and be questioning my reality due to consciousness. Either way, maybe I'm starting to get the hang of questioning things in my sleep.
#210 - 7:05AM - DEILD My wife wake me up around 6:30am when she leaving for work. I decide it's time to really take advantage of sleeping in and set my intentions. I try to WILD but I am still too tired. Later I awaken from a NLD that I can't remember and just try to DEILD. The first thing I notice is the sound of the fan cutting out completely and then the shift from my physical body to my dream body. I feel completely ethereal and light. After that, I get the vibrations. I try my usual way of "physically" exiting bed but lately I just can't get that to work so I try visualization. I try running and it feels good but nothing will form. I try seeing the back of my eyelids but I notice the morning light too much. Then I try seeing my hands and it helps but not quite enough. Then, I realize that I am putting too much attention to the blindness. I let go of it and I see the top of a door way. I do a few chin ups on it concentrating only on the task at hand. The dream clears up and I walk out the front door. I immediately feel the cold of the concrete on my bare feet. The air feels very cold and my upper-body becomes cold. I realize I am only wearing pants. I tell myself that it is summer and should be warm. The cold vanishes and I continue on. What will the dream bring me this time? I scan the neighborhood for anything unusual. Nothing really get my attention so I start jogging but at that moment I see out next-door neighbor's car and decide to drive. As I approach it, it morphs from sedan to van. I hop in and don't even bother trying to start it. I just grab the old steering wheel gear shift and slam it in reverse and hit the gas. When I get out of the driveway and slam it to drive, the car stalls for a second and dies. I refuse to believe it and I push the gas all the way down. After a moment I am speeding off through the neighbor hood. I begin to think of a destination and wonder if I could drive to Hell. Along the way I see metal buildings with one marked "Hell" on it. I decide this isn't going to be good enough so I pass it by and think about the Great Wall of China again. The surroundings turn from busy traffic and commercial buildings to wide open countryside. I fell like I need to get off the road to find the Great Wall. I pull up on the steering wheel and shout, "FLYYYYY!" For a moment all I can see is blue sky and clouds. Nope, too high. Think hovercraft. The front of the car comes back down and dissolves. Now I am zoom flying over grassy fields and dense forests searching for the Great Wall. I am enjoying the speed and the low altitude flight when the dream comes to a halt. I then awaken in reserve order of the DEILD. Darkness, back to physical body, the fan returns, and I open my eyes.
4-6-12 Okay, so I stay up until 5 o'clock in the morning chatting because it's Good Friday and I can sleep in. I set my alarm to ten, planning to wake up to it, re-set it for eleven, and try to have a MILD. It worked... for the first half. I dreamed something about being at my Church's old location, but I only remember one clip from near the end: standing facing west in the foyer and wondering who a certain black-haired little girl was. She almost looked anime-ish, but... nah. To realistic, not big enough eyes. :/ Anyways, I woke up at ten and tried to cause a MILD by repeatedly telling myself (mentally) that when I fell asleep and dreamed I would walk up to the girl and ask her what her name was. Fail. Nothing. Well, you can't win them all, I guess.
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