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Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #2??: One Last Mission

I’m heading upstairs to change my lightbulbs, but arrive to find that we’ve got tons of people upstairs visiting while my father-in-law changes them for me. I feel embarrassed, as if it looks like I never take care of anything around the house. He even somehow installed light bulbs with little solar panels attached to them, which I’ve never even heard of!

I head downstairs, feeling inadequate. I see that we have a big video screen that greets people at the front door. I see that it’s programmed to show a big story about turncoat spies within some US government agency. It’s some kind of huge story and these traitors are all over the news. As I’m heading into the kitchen, thinking about this fancy video monitor and the fancy lightbulbs, I realize that this feels a whole lot like a dream.

My father-in-law joins me downstairs and I say, “Hey, [Father-in-law], I’ve got an even cooler way to change lightbulbs!” I gesture at one of the recess lights in the kitchen ceiling and with a couple quick hand gestures, pull it out, summon a new one, and place it into the socket. It lights up!

He looks amazed and asks me how I did that. “This is actually a lucid dream,” I admit. “You can really do anything here.” He nods in acknowledgement, still looking impressed.

I recall my conversation yesterday with Iokheira where we were talking about cool dream ideas that people had never, ever done. I chose one of the ones we had decided was awesome enough that we were going to try: werewolf skydiving! :canislucidus: I phase through an external, curtained door out onto a back patio.

There’s a long row of side-by-side deck chairs here, with lots of people lounging around and relaxing. I look at the woman closest to the wall, but no, this isn’t Iokheira . One chair over, though is a group of three women sitting together, and on the left is Iokheira ! She hops out of the chair and we hug.

“It’s great to see you!” I say.

“Great to see you too!” she says and then starts nodding as I’m about to say, “Do you remember what we’d planned to try in this dream?” I can tell that she already knows the plan is werewolf skydiving.

Iokheira throws on a pair of aviator sunglasses, grabs my hand, and strides forward. We walk through a large yard into some suburban streets. She says, “Dylan (??) and Romero tried to tell me that this is my last mission. We’ll see about that...” I get the idea that she’s some kind of spy or secret agent. “The agency’s in [turmoil? chaos?] right now.”

I’m strongly sensing a backstory where she’s an agent in some kind of secret government agency. I wonder if it’s some kind of special division for werewolves. We go past a bus stop to a grassy field, while she continues to explain some more of the backstory. I wonder whether there will be a cliff at the end of this field for a possible BASE jump! Before we get to anything like that, though, the dream ends.

A shortie, but a biggie.

I dream I'm in a small, traditional Japanese restaurant -- it actually resembles a lot like one that I frequent in real life. ALL my co-workers are there (I work in a small non-profit, so a little bit over a dozen or so people), with our boss in the middle while everyone else are off to the side, framing him -- although, while I "distinctively" know it's our boss, I only instinctively know everyone else is there without actually recognizing faces.

Everyone is wearing business suits/dresses, and also trench coats. There is a very slight movie screen pan-out effect in my vision to reveal the co-workers on the edges. No one is talking to each other; everyone is just staring into space, lost in their own thoughts and looking grim. Finally, our boss says "Let's go." Everyone puts on sunglasses, and all head out towards the backdoor. It looks like everyone is moving in a "we are about to go on a mission" movie slow-mo style.

Everyone except for me. I'm still in bed.

So, context: We actually do have a big event that we are doing in real life, and everyone is drained from it. In order to prepare for the event, I had to wake up at 5:30am, and I got home late last night because we had the same event (and same wake-up time) at the other side of the state. Plus that it takes me a while to sleep, AND that I woke up at 1:00am (thinking it was almost 5:00), and I'm very apprehensive about not getting enough sleep.

ANYWAYS, so when everyone in my dream starts leaving to go to the event, dream me is still in bed, startled that I'm somehow not ready yet.

But ah ha! Breakthrough (possibly)! I "saw" myself in bed, and I think for the very first time, a part of me -- for a very, brief instant -- questioned the validity of my sleeping. I also know that this scene is very brief, so I may also be slipping out of sleep at the time and be questioning my reality due to consciousness. Either way, maybe I'm starting to get the hang of questioning things in my sleep.

Date: 20 June

Pre bed: 200 mg valerian, 100mg B6, podcast

Atmosphere: guest, heat, noises

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

DILD1: I am in our old neighborhood with my mom and a truck driver discussing something. I don't like him. The next moment the three of us are in a public restroom and it looks like he used it just before we did. I get obsessed about not wanting to touch the toiler paper after him, I notice there is something on the paper, plus it is all soaked. My mom comes up with some napkins from her bag that I also don't want to use.

The scene changes and we find ourselves in a movie theater. A fake memory forms that we just watched some movie, went to the restroom, and now mom is sneaking in to watch the next movie for free. One thing that looks unusual is that there is only one single long row of seats, but at the time, I conclude that this is normal. My mom sits while I try to leave the place. I spend some time waiting for her, and in the meantime she is looking for 3D glasses. I notice lots of sunglasses on the floor, that I identify as mine as start putting them in my bag. I head towards the exit, but the door is locked, there is no handle too. I get a fake memory that this is normal during movies. I think I use some form of dream control and the door opens, but behind it is another door which I open the normal way.

I find myself in a long somewhat creepy corridor with strangely colored walls, that reminds of dreams I had. And sure enough, I become lucid. I stare at the walls for a while, wondering if I should go ahead and plunge in them, but based on gut feeling decide against it. I move forward a bit but suddenly I get a sensation that my hair band is falling and my head feels kind of uncomfortable, up to the point where it is so distracting I cannot continue walking? I wonder if I should waste time to try and fix a ponytail but know this is a bad idea to do during an ld, so just remove the hair band and my hair feels fine. (talk about vanity )

I keep walking down the corridor that dynamically changes and become a bit like an inside balcony, and I can see part of the floor below. As I reach the end of the corridor/now balcony and look to my left the light downstairs goes off. Downstairs looks a bit creepy and I say something like "Oh, come on", but then hear some kind of a click sound and the light is on again. Then off again and finally on. What the hell is going on, I think. I turn around and something like a room is beginning to form. There are many DCs here, mostly children and a guy, they all look pretty much the same, very blond with red cheeks. I find this strange and the guy is not quite finished in the face, some of his features are not there so he is not very pleasant to look at. I decide I don't need to concentrate that much on him. I think about some of my goals. The first one that comes to mind is "assign a lucidity DC", so I start shouting at these strange blond DCs something about them and lucidity. Most of them don't pay me any attention, but my voice is so loud, I wonder if I am doing this irl too.

Then I look around, have a moment of aha realization as I remember the naked task. Of course, with so many DCs in the room, it is perfect for the task. So I first try to memorize the place and DCs a bit more (to be able to describe in detail, the way I do it, it is really bad for stability!) In front of me is a strange looking desk and three kids, one of them has silver sparkle decorations on his face. This time I am wearing only underwear with my casual type of bra. Just as I figure an easy way to take it off, the dream abruptly ends and I find myself back in bed.

I am very aware of body and need to go to the restroom. As I get back to bed I struggle with the heat, and am interrupted by the alarm of the guest, who always sets it hours earlier than he needs to wake up and leave. I really don't understand this. Insomnia...and then finally asleep for a bit.

DILD2: The dream begins as I am concentrating on my hands, trying to hold them still as possible, I get this floating feeling, expecting to transition. I then look around and understand that I am already in the dream. It is a small room, I start rubbing my hands vigorously, paying attention to the effect. The dream stabilizes for a while. I remember "the task" and search for DC audience. There are two male DCs on the bed, one on top of the other (doing nothing and with clothes on), and the other is asleep. They look very lifeless and I wonder if I should leave the room - door is just in front of me, but I get the feeling that might throw the dream out of balance and decide to wait. "Let me first get naked, then I'll see about the audience". I check my clothes - jeans (that later turn to shorts), socks, and a T-shirt. I start with the T-shirt but as it covers my eyes, it gets a bit entangled around my head, and I as get it off I lose my sight and end up in the void.

This annoys me but my anger turns into podcast inspired stubbornness and I keep trying to resume with the dream taking my shorts off and one sock while in the void. A moment later the dream picks up from exactly the same place. I expect at this point not to be wearing shorts anymore, but as I look down I have two pairs of shorts one on each leg. It's funny and reminds me of OB and her blankets. I go and sit on the bed which is now on the opposite side of the room, or is it another bed? I contemplate a bit of whether I really need to be sitting to more easily get rid of my shorts and remaining sock, but conclude it feels more comfortable that way. The dream fades and I wake.

The guest finally wakes up too, so that was it for today.

Date: 25 May

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Fragment1: I am putting on make up, an eye liner that looks really good

Fragment2: someplace with my relatives

Fragment3: with friends, and there is dust on my sunglasses

Fragment4: on the beach, a friend that I don't like, and two other girls posing for photos

Fragment5: I see another friend that I don't like, I try to avoid her but my other friend goes and talks to her, so she sees me as well.

Uh … OOPS it’s been months since I last wrote an entry in this thing. That would explain why lately I’ve been having so much trouble remembering my dreams. I really need to get back into the habit of doing this so that I can have cool dreams again. Yeah.

Well, I recently had a pretty cool/weird dream. It went something like this:

It starts off as kind of a third-person thing, where I’m not really a part of the action, I’m just observing the story.

There are a bunch of lions and zebras living together in a giant palace. There’s one lion who’s the king of them all. And he decides that he and the other lions and the zebras are going to destroy humanity. He sends one of the zebras to warn the humans of their oncoming doom.

So, the zebra walks up to a house. It’s night-time. The back door opens and Will Smith walks out. The zebra is like, “We’re going to destroy humanity, bwahaha.” And if I recall correctly, he has some gruesome thing with him like a head on a stick or something which I guess is part of the warning sign or whatever. Will Smith is like, “Oh no!” And that’s the only part he plays in the dream and I’m not sure why he was there at all. Oh well.

This is where I finally become a part of the dream, although I’m a random character and not really myself. I’m riding on a white horse to the palace along with some other people––I don’t know who they are. I think I’m leading everyone there. I have a sword and I start swinging it around and thinking about how I’m going to cut off the king lion’s head.

We’re galloping over this beautiful landscape with rolling green hills and everything. I think we go over a bridge at some point. Then in the distance, I finally see the palace. It’s huge and gleaming and white, and there’s a rainbow coming out of the top of it and stretching up into the sky. I’m like, “Whoaaa … that’s pretty.”

At this point I have a somewhat lucid moment, in which I’m suddenly aware that I’m in the dream and that I’m simultaneously asleep in my bed. I know I’m about to wake up, but I try not to because I really want to get to the palace and kill the lion. Alas, I wake up before we get there. Oh well.

As for dreams I had last night (or maybe it was this morning):

I vaguely remember a dream in which I was at a beach, and I acquired a pair of fancy sunglasses. Somehow, I know that I stole these sunglasses, although I don’t remember exactly how that happened. I feel guilty about stealing them, but I keep trying to justify it to myself, like, “Oh, everyone steals sometimes!”

Anyway, I can’t remember much about what the sunglasses look like besides that they have a brown tint to them, and I also realize that I can see through the lenses (and I’m super near-sighted, so this is weird). So, they basically function like regular glasses except they’re tinted. But for some reason I think this is like, the best thing since sliced bread.

Not sure if it was part of the same dream, but I recall a brief fragment of a dream in which I am standing in front of a mirror and I take out my nose piercing. My nose instantly begins gushing blood everywhere and I panic … but I think I manage to get it back in again.

… So yeah. Now I should start remembering to write these lovely gems down. I want to keep having cool/lucid dreams.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I may have been in an airport. Near me was a black man who may either have been a friend or an acquaintance. He was kind of tall and kind of strong looking. He had long, wavy, brown hair that almost looked like a wig. He also had a long, black beard. He wore black sunglasses, a black, denim jacket and no shirt, and probably blue or black jeans.

The man was in trouble for some reason. Airport security may have thought of him as a terrorist. I hoped security's suspicion of the man wouldn't spread to me. The man and I seemed separated from each other by about ten meters. Near the man was a line of boxes about knee-high.

I was now in the man's house, which was a big mansion. We were in some area like a living room or a sun room. We still stood apart from each other and facing each other, like we'd stood at the airport.

The interior of the mansion was spacious and open. Everything was white, and there were big windows and sliding glass doors everywhere. The man may have been wearing white versions of the clothes he'd worn in the airport as well.

Somewhere was a "library," which the man showed me. It was really just a bookshelf. It was wall-height, maybe three or four meters long, with five or six levels of shelves.

All the books in the "library" looked like they belonged to one edition or came from one publisher. The books were all bound in leather or fake-leather, marbleized-looking covers. The bindings had gold lettering and trim.

There were only three colors of books: blue, red, and green. The three different colors were all grouped together. There were very few blue books: they only took up a portion of the left side of the very top shelf. The red books took up the most space: from where the blue books ended, down to about halfway along the second to last shelf. The green books took the rest of the space.

The man may possibly have showed me "my bedroom," or the guest bedroom, which was, now, also the library. In this library-bedroom there were a bed and a desk, both white. Over the desk was a wall-mounted bookshelf, with the same kind of books as on the previous bookshelf, arranged in a similar fashion.

I was in my room, on the bed, one evening. Cat was there as well, lying closer to the wall. He was wearing a white shirt. He (or I) was reading something, then he lied down on his back, his eyes closed. I lied next him coz I wanted to look at his sleepy face. When I got closer, I saw his eyes are still open slightly. When he saw me, he suddenly looked funny at me. I told him I just want to watch him as he sleeps. He turned around, facing the wall.

I went somewhere and went back. Cat was talking on the phone, facing the wall (or maybe pretending that someone called him). Then he said he has to go. I got sad. When he was about to go out the door, I reached for his hand and asked him where he's going. He said he's just going to the bathroom. I slowly let go of his hand as he slowly walked away into the bathroom, while both of us still looking at each other. I finally lost sight of him when I closed the door.

I went somewhere far. Bacolod? Morning. I was looking at eye/sunglasses in a store. I went out. I was in downtown Bacolod. I ran, sad and depressed, because he left me. Then I wondered, what if he just went somewhere, and he was going to return, but then he didn't find me at home, so we just went away? I got more depressed.

It was near the pier in Toledo. I ran. I was near the pier. The beach, with clean, white sand. There were some plants. I jumped over into lower ground on the beach, which was more than six feet high (I'd normally feel very uncomfortable jumping from that height). I felt sad, but at the same time, I didn't mind getting hurt physically, because the pain in my heart hurt more.

Then I reached a place on the beach where there are more people. There is a family of two male parents; they're married and they have three kids, having a blast at the beach. I checked the next "jump," and it was a lot higher. Too high. I saw a bamboo ladder going down. I told myself I'll go down and once I'm lower, I'll jump backwards onto the sand. I then hid my mobile phones in my short pants in a way that they won't get damaged.

I crossed stepped into the bamboo ladder and started going down. Then, at a height I thought I'd still be uncomfortable, I let myself fall backwards. I landed. It was closer than I thought.

07.05.2011

I can't see, I can't see! (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was driving my car with a friend. I realize I could not see very well, so I decided to take my sun glasses, after all, it was night. As I did, I completely lost vision. I was worried because I was driving at 50 mph and I could not see at all. I was worried I was going to crash.

The car did not brake so I had to keep driving. My friend told me, "Do not enter the intersection!!! Red light! Photo Enforced!" I could not brake and my car started turning. I could see the flash from the camera through my eye lids.

A few feet later, I crashed and woke up. Funny enough, I was not freaking out nor nervious. It is good to be semi-lucid on most dreams, specially on nightmares!

I was in someones front yard, but it was across the street from my neighbors in waking life. I was with my wife or my cousin N

I said, "Let's fly," and I took off. I saw the stars. I got heavy above the trees. I was not lucid.

--

I lost some kind of contest. I was walking down hill at night towards a restaurant or something.

I made it in went to a room to get dressed. I put on the clothes and wig that Americans wore in Washington's time. I stood very proud so as to not be bothered that I lost the contest.

--

I was outside and saw a mated pair of Bald Eagles. I couldn't believe it. They circled above. Then I noticed they were chasing hawks out of their territory.

I grabbed a professional video camera. I thought it was mine. As I started taking video of the eagles, I started playing the harmonica. That was weird; it was attached to the camera. It only played one note.

I took more video and played the harmonica that was up to my mouth again.

I looked at the camera and noticed it was a strange dream version of my brother's old XL-1. It was partly blue and had wires making on empty frame underneath the body of the camera. I tried to see the harmonica, but it wasn't very obvious.

In waking life, my father taught harmonica. He also went to a Deepak Chopra seminar where he was told that the eagle is his animal spirit or something.

Dream skip: I'm in a building and receiving sun glasses. I'm some black market distributor. I am happy because this means money, but I realize I'm in business with thugs. This is dangerous business.

I start seeing guys that get bigger and tougher up the chain of command. Each one is stronger than the next.

Finally I see the big boss. He's a black guy. One of the white guys tries to make me look good. He climbs up onto a platform, I get ready, and as he jumps me, I grab his jacket and throw him to the floor. This is designed to show that I can handle myself.

I start hitting, though pulling my punches. Again, I am just showing what I could do, though I was slow and very unconvincing.

I end up in a car with two black girls. I'm stroking the hair of one of them and I wonder if the other one accepts me.

--

My nephew was depicted as a cartoon character. He was outside in the snow. His mother called him Snow Cheese.

Then his mother started drawing cartoons of him. She was coming up with the text effortlessly. They were funny, but I never knew what they said.

Night of 2/5/09

Breaking into Victoria's Secret

I wish I could remember how this started. I was just so stunned when I woke up from this that I could only focus on the end.

I'm in Victoria's Secret at a mall. I think I was shopping for something, but I'm wearing my new pajamas (that I just bought from Victoria's Secret yesterday!!). I look at the door and it's two glass doors that are closed and locked. A mall security guard comes up and opens the doors and comes in. He doesn't see me, so I sit down in a chair and pretend I'm asleep. Or a mannequin. I don't know which. I think my eyes are open though, so I see what was going on. The security guard comes in with a guy and a girl and they're both wearing dangly earrings.

Next thing I know, I'm being interrogated by the security guard and the guy with the earrings on and now he's only got one earring in. The security guard asks me how I got in there and I said, "I don't know, I'm dreaming, I must have dreamed myself in here!!" (Makes perfect sense, right? Like I knew VS was a real place and I could really be in there, but not after it was closed. I'm stuck with not knowing whether this counts as lucid or not.)

I go on to explain that, "All I know is that this guy was looking for his earring and he had two before and only one now. Then you start interrogating me about how I got in here." I was so confident in my answers. I'm amazed that this happened in my dream... that I told someone I was dreaming.

Michael Cera at Toys 'R' Us

I'm at a toy store riding a BMX bike around. I ride around until I find that there's an event going on. My boss comes up to me and asks me to introduce the pro bike riders who are doing a demonstration. I get off my bike and grab a microphone and there are bleachers and people sitting everywhere. There are a couple of pro bike riders going up ramps and doing tricks. I walk down into an area that's kind of like a big box. There are no ramps, just walls. It's a special area where the bikers can go straight up a wall without a ramp or anything. I'm not even saying anything into this microphone, I'm just watching. One biker rides into the wall, goes up it and launches into the air. He does a flip and it looks like he's going to land on his side, but as he lands, he lands on a peg on the back wheel and just spins around parallel to the ground.

I leave this area and walk around looking at the crowd now like I'm security. A few other employees and I are talking when we see a biker, who is now on a motorcycle, crash into a little girl who is walking with her mom and little sister!! I run to the store manager, who can't be bothered about this, and she tells me to go find Jeff. I find Jeff and I'm yelling his name cuz he's in the area where the demonstration is and it's hard to hear because the crowd is cheering so loud. So I grab him and bring him to where the accident is. As I'm walking there, I accidentally step on the little sister's hand because she was crouched down with her mom checking on the girl that just got crashed into. She freaks out and screams, "I'm going to need an x-ray!!!!" And starts crying. SO I walk away.

I go down the aisles and I see people in brown uniforms putting stuff on the shelves. I figure it's the overnight crew. There are some Oakley sunglasses in a box by the baseball bats, so I grab a pair and put them on. They're like fake plastic little kid sunglasses. I should have known. I push them up onto my head. I see some employees by the cash registers talking and walk up to them. At one of the check out aisles, I see little tubes of M&M's and have a moment of clarity and realize I'm dreaming, but it fades as soon as I grab one of the tubes of M&M's and open it and pour some into my hand. I turn around and one of the employees is Michael Cera from the movie Superbad. I look a him and ask him point blank in front of everyone else if he would like a blow job. He looks so surprised. So I grab him by the hand and lead him to the restrooms. We go into the handicapped stall and he unzips his pants. He looks down and seems embarrassed because his penis is so small. I turn around and see that there's a mirror on the wall. I look in the mirror and see Michael behind me and now he has a penis growing out of the front of his neck. It is the worst penis I have ever seen. It has like polyps all over it and is bumpy and just bad.

Next thing I know, Michael and I are in the parking lot outside and I'm telling him I just couldn't do it, and I'm sorry, but I think he has an STD. He says, "STD stands for Southern Texas Defense!! I don't have that!!!"

Wow.