Recent DJ Posts

Night of August 4, 2015. Tuesday.



Even though I have only seen the “Uhny Uftz” episode of “The Dick Van Dyke Show” a few times in my life (the first occasion being September 29, 1965 on my sister’s television on Rose Street), it sometimes surfaces in my dreams as the autosymbolic model of vestibular system correlation.

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In my very vivid dream, I am in the same setting and scene as the image with this entry, and mostly lucid and in a very peaceful state. I recognize immediately what is going on, and, although the scene is a bit eerie, it shifts dramatically.

Instead of Dick Van Dyke continuing to remain pressing nervously against the windows of his office to see if he can make out the flying saucer presumed to be out in the night sky, he is suddenly on board the flying saucer (apparently alone, though this is uncertain, as I am watching the scenario while incorporeal) looking out over his building and city (even though in the show’s episode, it was only a toy flying saucer). He appears as he did around this time period (though he is now eighty-nine years old in real life). There is an amazingly comfortable sense of peace (even though I sense that he may not fully realize where he is or perhaps reflect he is dreaming). He remains standing and smiling and gazing out happily over the city below.

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I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

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#445 - DEILD - 7:45AM

The Monday got me this morning and I just said to heck with it, I'll go in at 9 and sleep a little more.

I am dreaming and laying in some sort of box with dirt in it in the gutter. There's some tube running off of some part of my body to drain something out. I feel the worst depression I've ever known and I decide to just lay there until I die. I really want to die. The thought of it moving on feels like a great relief. Then, I think that I should at least try to get lucid while I am lying her and this partially wakes me up.

I focus on body relaxation and vibes start. I try getting out but it feels off somehow so I go more visual and find that I am walking in the house. I feel the presence of my wife or someone (but it feels like her energy) following close behind me but I can't see her. It's comforting. I step out the front door and all my depression drops away and is replaced with a feeling of bliss. The air is pleasantly cool and I am delighted that I had an OBE. It has been forever. There is a light snow on the ground and the dream is unstable so I roll around in it. I still feel my wife near me watching over me like a guardian. I love it. The birds are singing loud and clear and it is the most beautiful bird sound. Everything feels like heaven and I enjoy every second of this visually unstable dream. I soon wake up.

I got home early, before everyone else got up, and rather than go up to my room, I decide to nap downstairs on the couch. The stairs are loud, and I don't want to wake the dog and have the dog wake everyone. It's just an hour and a half before everyone normally gets up, so I'll just nap on the couch until I hear someone, then I'll go to my room and go back to bed. That's my plan.

I find myself walking down a hallway, and come to an opening where I stand with a big group of people around a fountain or some other centerpiece. It occurs to me that I was just asleep on my couch, so I am definitely dreaming right now. Everyone looks at me. I look at everyone. The DCs look oddly familiar, but all just wait for me to do something. Rather than do anything, I just generate a loving feeling toward all of them. Then I make it stronger. I look at each DC again and feel a blissful tingling all through my body. It's like the more I love them, the stronger it gets. I enjoy this feeling for a while, then wake up.

Well that was nice, but I'm still tired, and it's still early, I think I'll close my eyes and rest until I hear someone again.

Now I'm standing up in my living room, and my sister (who is out of state) comes in, but 10 years younger than she is now. She's really upset at me for some reason. I'm not sure why. But I am sure that I was just laying down, and that she's older now, so I am definitely dreaming. I let her yell at me as I enjoy the relaxing peace of being in a dream where there is no reason to be offended, upset, or defensive about anything. I generate some love in my mind for my sister, and make it stronger and stronger until everything feels just amazing. She calms down, stops yelling, and I wake up again.

I hear someone in waking life this time, and get up to move to my hammock in my room. I wonder if my plan to get up and move when I heard someone was the main reason I had these lucid dreams, or if it was just due to the easy circumstances within the dreams themselves such as remembering I was just laying on the couch and now I'm not, or that my sister is in fact older than a toddler now. Maybe the plan to wake up at the first sign of noise put me in a lighter state of sleep that is more conducive for lucid dreams. I don't know.

This dream is from earlier this month, when I am finally properly introduced to my Dream Guide. I first met my DG in my first LD about 3 months ago…though I didn't know she was my DG. A couple of months later I saw her again and she appeared different but I knew it was her (also maybe because I summoned her). Here's my dream where I met her the second time but this time I confirmed it with her that she is my DG.


I'm in a low lucidity dream and at the end of the dream I start spinning and I'm in an abyss experiencing a feeling of true bliss. This lasts about 5 seconds and then I wind up on my bed still spinning. The spinning comes to a stop and I try to get out of bed. I find it difficult to sit up and in fact feel my stomach muscles contract trying to sit up. I finally make it and get out of bed. I know I’m dreaming and I do an RC just to make sure. I look at my hands but they look normal, which lately has been happening a lot. I try to breathe through my pinched nose and it doesn’t work but I try again and it works the second time. I also jump up in the air to see if I can float and I do float back down. I first think of flying out the window but then decide that I’m going to call Dean (my Dream Guide…she told me her name in my first LD where I met her but didn't know she was my DG) on the phone to see if she is waiting for me downstairs. I grab the phone off my desk and head out the door. I don’t dial but just call Dean’s name like I’m talking to her and she answers. I ask her if she is waiting for me downstairs but she doesn’t know what I’m talking about and maybe doesn’t recognize me. I tell her “it’s me, are you waiting for me downstairs,” as I’m waiting for the elevator. She answers “no, I’m in my room getting ready.” I decide that her room is going to be the apartment just across from the elevator. It seems that all the doors on my floor are covered with some kind of red carpeting, with the exception of my door. I go to the door and try it but it seems locked and I knock on the door. Then I decide the door is going to be open as I try to open it again...and voila...it opens. I walk in and it’s a nice apartment and I hear the shower running. I go to the bathroom and I see the door is kind of cracked open with some steam coming out. I knock on the door and enter and I see an attractive black woman about 5’5 with short hair (not too short) taking a shower and I know it’s Dean. It’s a large bathroom and the shower is sort of in the middle and it’s open with no doors around it. She covers herself up but I’m not even really looking at her nudity...maybe just a little. I turn around and I tell her “Dean, I have to ask you a question - are you my dream guide?” She’s still in the shower and she answers me but I don’t quite hear what she says. I ask her again and she says “yes.” I run to hug her and tell her “oh my god, I’m so happy” and in fact I am. I don’t care about the fact that she’s naked and I have no sexual thoughts toward her. I’m just truly happy to encounter my DG. I ask her to help me in the future and she says she will. I also ask her if she’s going to look different every time she appears and she says that she will and in fact tomorrow (or some other day) she will look like (I don’t recall what she said). Maybe I’m paying less attention still caught up in being so happy finding out she’s my DG. There is a baby or maybe even two babies in the apartment but I kind of just ignore them. I figure that while Dean gets ready I can go have some fun and I ask her if she has any attractive girlfriends that live nearby...maybe neighbors so I could just go next door. She says “no...oh yea, there is one.” I head out into the living room and she’s almost ready also she just doesn’t have her shoes on. So I decide to just wait for her to get her shoes on and I think maybe I also decide to do a recall of my personal info (name, dob, address, phone #, etc.) but then I wake up.

Night of October 13, 2013. Sunday.



Within the large transparent and safe sphere (about the size of a city block), I attempt to create and “program” a suitable tulpa for a change - and perhaps other features later. First, I allow the grains of feldspar and dark basalt to flow in through the “equator of small holes” that go all around the sphere until it is halfway up near said “equator”. The sound of grains moving and gathering is peaceful, nearly as much as rain, as I rise to the center of this environment as the “solid” ground, as it manifests, lifts me up. Oxygen flows in as if the sphere were made of a smooth, strong, translucent skin. First, I begin to manifest from the tulpa template, focusing on the knuckle of the middle finger, and its glowing blue skin, of the left hand. Shift. I am able to hold it for almost nine seconds. The fingertips of light shrink back very slightly on the second run, but that is only based on my eye movements, which I should control better. My right hand to “her” left hand, a slight pulling sensation on the back of my head. Ten seconds.

My focus is “interrupted” by vague impressions of lines of text over everything, a modern inconvenience, with a subtle impression of a brick wall that fades but remains as “background noise”. The soft, larger wrinkles and folds on the knuckles remind me of lips, and after this, the eyes of lizards, perhaps miniature iguanas.

Now how about toes? A leg and feet and toes - becoming a sapling with five expanding roots. Try again. I get a vague impression of two hands forming “okay” with the fingers, yet also appearing to be doing something else, perhaps holding a grain or something very small between the tips of the thumbs and forefingers.

Pure white, wool-like hair, “burning”/flowing as if it is cool fire, yet radiating soft blue light, like filaments of the thinnest, most malleable “crystal”. Time to shift and make the face for a time, but the eyes keep closing, which is very common for new ones. Come on, look at me.

Dimensionality of the tulpa hologram reverses, as if my depth-perception is of the inside of a mask rather than the outside of a face, somewhat of an unusual effect (and fairly common depending on focus and shifts) - as if I am “inside” the tulpa template itself. Try again. No, this one refuses to keep her eyes open. And even so, they become entirely black if left open for too long. This is not something “demonic” (as falsely claimed by many others) to be wary of (in fact, almost the opposite - innocent over-the-top expectation - much like an individual discovering a new talent and wanting to “use it all up” upon each moment) - it is simply the pupil of a “new one” going “overboard” and wanting to see everything too soon, tulpa-eye-dilation, until the entire eye is as such (and all shiny and black). Vibrations of near consciousness. Atoms have no higher consciousness in such a state, anyway. Why worry unless you are afraid of yourself?

I get a vague yet vivid sound pulse of a man of about thirty or younger saying “diablo” (“devil” in Spanish). As it is impossible to fully block the existence of wayward dreaming minds from the lower supraconsciousness, I ignore it - and do not acknowledge it at all - I was way past that sort of thing over twenty years ago. I had spoken Spanish for about two hours today (but not saying or thinking of that word at all), and this probably linked me slightly to the outer field of the Spanish supraconsciousness. The same effect happens when a guitar string vibrates at a certain frequency - one within a certain range of it will resonant slightly with it (and the lower the frequency, the more the expanding and “interfering” vibrations) - thus the same with human minds and perception at certain levels, which is a loose form of subtle, non-focused telepathy that happens all the time but goes unnoticed by most.

I fold my hands around the back of the tulpa’s head. The sphere is filling up (not fully, just as an environmental feature) with small, dried leaves. I do not mind, the permission was there somewhere in the back of my mind. I am reaching the point where the eyes become like mirrors to reflect my own visage for a time, in brief periods.

I pick up some new features in the environment, which are thinner, lighter sticks, and they remind me somewhat of pieces of an exoskeleton of a giant insect’s leg, not in any alarming sense, but in a wondrous way. I then get an impression of ash and snow - mixed together, almost to a point where the mix becomes indistinguishable - as either being snow or ash, this being almost as a property of the curling, dried leaves it settles upon. I enjoy the snow-ash-dried-leaf crumbs flowing around me like a rejuvenating force…

This was the first of two LDs from last night. My primary goal was to focus on vividness and I really think it helped. Great vividness on this one!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #136: Neon

I'm walking along a road at night, going over a (mostly) false memory that I just had a shared dream with my son "E". I wonder whether I'm dreaming right now, too, and with a nose pinch reality check, I confirm that I am.

Immediately I remember my goal of trying to make the dream as vivid as possible before doing anything else. To my left is a strange, 20-foot high stack of flattened stones sandwiching layers of damp newspaper over and over. I run my fingers over the stone and the paper, noting the detail and the way that my hands look as they pass over them. As I listen, I hear the sound of people talking and celebrating, and I think it's coming from just over the other side of this stack.

By now the dream feels really vivid and I begin to climb the stack of rocks. To climb, I squelch my fingers into the soft layers of damp newspaper between the stones and work my way up. My body feels light, so the climb is natural and easy. I climb up to the top, stand on the top of the stack, and look out on a lively scene. It's like an old west town that's just drenched in neon lights. DCs dressed in western wear are walking happily back and forth between wooden buildings covered with neon signs. A young couple shares a laugh, and she leans her head against his shoulder as they walk across the dusty street to what looks like a bar.

The scene is so vivid that I become overwhelmed. I've got this huge grin and I feel like I'm crying with emotion. I wonder whether it's possible to cry in a dream, and laugh a little at the thought.

I jump down to the ground and walk slowly through the dusty street, enjoying the sight of the DCs passing by around me. At the end of the street is a building without any neon lights. It looks like a schoolhouse and I walk up to the door before turning around to look back toward the stack of stone. Behind the stack I see hills lining the horizon. The shape and height remind me of the Hollywood Hills. Dozens of green signs float over the hills, each with the name of a town or city and the city's population painted on it. I try to remember some of the names but it feels like they're changing. I let it go and turn back to the schoolhouse.

I'm in a classroom now that's filled with other parents watching their kids play. There's a fascinating array of toys like train sets that encircle the room, some kind of clunky robot that walks around, and lots of other cool stuff. I see my son "E" playing here as well, kind of jumping around watching the train go.

I glance back up at the other parents, then back down at the room -- and the kids and toys have vanished! Everyone is milling around and talking about what a great time the kids had. I tell them something to indicate that I'm dreaming and walk back out through the door.

The neon wild west town is gone now, and I step directly out onto a street that's busy with pedestrian traffic. Across the street I see an Olympic swimming pool built into what looks like a big basketball court. I think that I'll use it for the "Great Barrier Reef" Task of the Year.

I start toward the street. Two young women are talking as they walk past me. I notice that one of them is really cute, mid-20s, dark hair, and very short (maybe 5 feet tall!) I have an impulse to kiss her and as soon as I think this, she turns toward me, smiling. Her friend walk off without her, oblivious and now treating her like a stranger. At first I think this is cool but then I think better of spending my time kissing DCs. Need to focus!

I will the DC to stop crushing on me but something goes wrong with the dream control... and now she seems to actually hate me.

She bares her teeth angrily and walks toward me, her hands clenched into fists. I can tell that she clearly intends to kick my ass. I want no part of any of this and try to scurry across the street but she jogs after me, still looking like she wants to flatten me. I hurry away and kind of wave her off, saying, "Just leave me alone!" Then I turn completely away and ignore her, hoping that she'll disappear on her own. I make it across the street without being mauled, but as I'm getting close to the pool, the dream ends.

24.02.2013

Leaving my human life behind and going back to the Pleiades. (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

In all my dreams I have some degree of lucidity. If I am not fully lucid, I still know that something is not right. For an instance, I have a car accident, but I do not worry because I know it is OK (at a deep level I know I am dreaming) But this dream, I really bought the dream entirely... I really thought it was real, to the point of being a bit sad when I woke up from it (despite how amazing the dream was)
Might be easier to understand if I tell you I am a Starseed. Enjoy!

I was with my wife in a big room and we were going to head out. I was sharing with her that I needed to meet with a couple clients for some psychic readings.

We decide to get out for a walk, and we wore only a short t-shirt. I was wondering that if it was going to be too cold. It was also raining and it was very foggy and cloudy at the same time, but it was warm. There were people around. We were in a city that looked like Rome since it had a lot of Roman buildings and such. These building were made out of stone and the detail was amazing.

I overheard people saying that there were going to be some major changes in the planet. Talking with my wife, she said that she overheard that the temperature was going to be around 150 F. I told her she was nuts, that no way it could get that warm. It started to rain harder and my wife ran away. I felt the rain water warm on my face and I was kinda surprised. Suddenly, I saw a like a big stone falling from the sky into the ground. I saw a couple more of these stones, both were on fire. I realized they were meteorites. I could hear the noise of the meteorite and people all around me screaming, but I was not afraid, I was in fact, somehow thrilled. I considered if I wanted to allow one of them to hit me or if it was better to avoid them. I wanted to get hit by one, but my instinct told me to avoid them.

Suddenly, a major earthquake started to happen. It was over a magnitude 9. The buildings started to crumble and I felt excited because I was going to home, to the Pleiades where I belong. The building shattered and fell over my head. My vision started to blurr and I lost consciousness. I felt I was leaving my physical body, until the image of a hospital appeared in front of my eyes. I could see my body, very wounded and my wife crying next to it. I was attached to some machine and I heard the doctor announcing my death. I floated away from the hospital. I was a bit sad because of my wife, but I was excited at the same time.

I roamed around the hospital and I saw my dad in a different room and one of my childhood friends as well. They were not sick apparently.

I appeared in a building and I had some trouble controlling my Astral Body, I was not used to be a Spirit. I rapidly decided I wanted to cros over and go back to the Pleiades, but I decided to explore first and roam a bit more. I had all the time of the world after all. I was in a 32 stories restaurant, going from room to room and I even discovered some hidden rooms as well. Someone spoke to me telling me that the restaurant had many secret rooms.

I appeared again in a park, and I was trying to float without success, so I started to climb a building (spiderman style) when suddenly, a young female greeted me. She was with a friend, and her friend was astonish, looking everywhere trying to find me. I knew right away she was a medium, so I jumped to her. She got scared and I apologized about it. She said I was acting weird and she did not know if I was a good Spirit. I told her I was. I also told her, "I am a dead medium." I explained to her that I was a Psychic Medium when I was alive. I started to wonder if she was using her clairvoyance or clairaudience to communicate with me. After I while I wanted to finally leave the Earth.

I started to float higher and higher until I left the planet. I had the Earth on my back, out of space.







I had a huge blissful feeling. I felt free. I felt I had no boundaries anymore and I felt very blessed. I was going home and I could not wait. I looked around me, and I saw an endless sea of stars







Right below me, I was able to see like a water see, but it contained stars, planets and asteroids. I wanted to explore it so a glided to get closer, until I saw a big building, a building that cannot be found on Earth. Upon entering it, I met with two ET beings talking in some strange tongue. I spoke to them and they showed me a Piano. They said it was a nice instrument to generate music found at Earth. I told them that my previous life was there and mentioned that they could find other instruments as well.

From here, I took long flights around the Universe, meet with some other ET beings. At some points, in the middle of nowhere, I spotted a few ET beings talking. One of them was considering incarnating into a human body. The other ET beings told him that the Earth was full of violence, hatred and envy. The ET being kept saying that it was not a nice place to experience a whole life at. I agreed and jumped into the conversation. I told them I was a Pleiadian who was incarnated into a human body, and crossed over recently. I shared with them the pain and sorrow the Earth is going through and told them I would not come back at all.

I decided to finally go to the Pleiades and reunite with my Galactic family.



On my way there, I met with a very hot human being. She had the same of a human and everything, but she was an ET as well. She mentioned that she came from a planet were money did not exist, love was among all people's heart and the whole planet were thriving. She also told me that everybody was hot because they were no GMOs nor other crap on their foods. She mentioned as well that they were having a blast during an entire lifetime of about 40 years. The planet was full of amusement parks, discotheques and scenic views for the enjoyment of the inhabitants. I felt it was a nice place to enjoy a lifetime, specially after dealing with the human life, but I really wanted to go back to the Pleiades.

I was going however, to spend some time with this being and getting to know the planets located in the area. I felt blissful, I felt so amazingly well. I was truly in the Here and Now... time did not matter anymore. I was in heaven.

I had a FA in a room, with my wife at planet Earth. I got frustrated and stated what the hell was going on and why I was on Earth again. I did a reality check, but it did not fail. My wife went ahead to write down a dream (something she never does in real life) and so I went to write mine. I woke up for real.

I ingested a traditional tribal "flood" dose of Iboga, a oneirogen that induces a waking dream state for 12 - 48 hours & has been used for centuries by the people of Gabon as a coming of age shamanic plant. Basically you're Lucid Dreaming while awake. I decided to take the root when I found out about it & how unlike hallucinogens the visions you receive from Iboga are not vague or open to much interpretation. Many people see parts of their life replayed, they feel the pain or joy their actions caused. Some see deities or significant people in their life including people who've passed away. Some people claim it's the tree of knowledge of good & evil from the bible.

It was risky for me to begin with because I have a heart condition & Iboga is very intense on the heart. The idea is to experience complete ego death which is followed by all the visions. Going through hell to get to heaven. Knowing this I decided to take the root right before going into the emergency room so in case if anything happened I would be in good hands.

I was really yearning for a spiritual aspect to my life which had been lost. All my life I was told what to believe mixed with my own beliefs & thoughts about all these different possibilities. I felt as if it would be best for me to experience what is true for me spiritually myself. So I decided ego death & true transcendence along with visions of my life would give me some answers. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.



It started to come on subtlety at first, in the emergency room waiting area things became very dim & dead looking like all the warmth to colors was slowly being sucked out. I started to feel as if I was riding some giant wave of reality in isolation of everything around me. Like the world could swallow me whole at any moment. I started to get worried because the waiting room was full & only 30 minutes into a 2 day experience I could already feel some effects. I kept trying to stress the fact I had ingested something that could send me into a psychotic break, get sick, or kill me. That I needed to be in a bed with a heart monitor & people who could check on me & bring me water while I began to purge.

I eventually get to a room & there's a bed, I'm questioned by doctors nurses & staff constantly as I'm starting to trip. I tell them I ingested it for spiritual purposes & that I should avoid being overstimulated. I purposefully brought a long a sleeping mask & my phone to play music to help move things along. As soon as we made it to the room all this was taken as a precautionary measure to ensure I wouldn't try to hurt myself or someone with it. They kept questioning me for what seemed like an hour. The first part of the trip felt like my body was trying to escape reality, the conscious voice in my head got increasingly paranoid about death, going crazy, saying something wrong to the doctors or nurses. I increasingly was drawing a complete blank as I was being questioned, I kept saying umm more & more as thoughts escaped my mind. My consciousness was becoming consumed with fear as I lost the ability to think & create a coherent sentence. One doctor made me feel guilty saying I ingested a hallucinogen & I was wasting taxpayer money in my "recreational pursuit". This was a search for truth, for meaning. Eventually I asked to be left alone trying to avoid over-stimulation after I answered the same questions about 5 times to 5 different people.

I drank some water which was brought to me & my heart starts pounding like crazy, I hear this intense buzzing in my ears that sounds like I'm near a high voltage transformer or surrounded by beehives. My heart is spiking off the charts on the monitor & I'm told I went into VTAC Ventricular Tachycardia (where your heart beats so fast it could stop). I'm so nauseated & worried at this point I purge into a bucket this green liquid, it looks like I puked up part of the hulk or Nickelodeon slime. I start to feel this energy building at the base of my spine, like hot magma or electricity charging up. At this point my heart is going so fast I'm convinced I won't make it through this & that before I knew it I would be moving onto whatever's next. At this point my ego is just screaming in my head like it wants to murder me, "You're going to wake up insane, you're heart is exploding get ready for the pain, you're dead.. nice job".



Eventually after what seemed like hours of fighting between death & my mind I accept death. With acceptance I slowly start seeing with my eyes closed - red very strongly, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, then violet. As this is happening I feel that magma, that energy, that electricity building at the base of my spine slowly move up as I accept my fate. I kept thinking of mercury moving up a thermometer. With complete acceptance I jolted out into the universe a soul past the purple into an infinite white light. Being a part of it but there was no sense of "I" no me, no body, pure spirit & an overwhelming sense of connectedness & unconditional love overwhelming every ounce of being. Being one with the big bang, forget infinite energy, light, the realest thing you could sense in there was pure joy, bliss, unconditional love, complete peace. No thought, stillness, nothingness, the void.

I wake up sometime later after being moved to what I learn later is the ICU. I'm incredibly lucid & the personal visions are starting to come, I'm so lucid it's like the power of lucidity carried over into waking life. I imagine this medical light on the ceiling that looks like a mushroom cap stretching & changing shape. As I believe it stretches it does so & it really seems to work when I send it unconditional love from my chest. I imagine stretching it so far with love I eventually break through the ceiling into another room.



The first room I broke through into was like a dusty old worn down house with cobwebs all over, wooden floors, a broken window, & it looked like something no one would really appreciate. I notice in the dream I'm wearing clothes that appear to be like Link from Zelda. I'm greeted by two groups of people to my right. One of which is very happy, joyful, they have an inner-childlike sense to them. Curious, compassionate, encouraging, happy to be alive. They're cheering me on & saying great things about the room appreciating everything. I get the sense this is what I must do to move on. Love the room impartially, seeing the good in it. The other group of people seems miserable, they're void of color full of grays & find fault with the room saying things like "Ewww". I decide this is not the direction I want to take & I break down the wall by loving the place I'm at.

I end up in another room & another they're all very similar except each consecutive room is characterized by things of the chakra system. It seemed as though I was breaking down walls to move energy from the 1st chakra (the root) to the 7th chakra (the crown). The root is at the base of the spine & the crown is at the top of the head. A hierarchy of energy from the base of the spine to the top of the head; from the physical aspects of existence to the spiritual. Overall all the same lessons were to be learned. If I hesitated in loving a room, in breaking down a wall I was sent back to the beginning. It seemed like my visions were very influenced by the video games I played growing up. After a lot of tries I made it to the heart chakra (the central 4th & central chakra, the point where the physical aspects of our world become intertwined with the spiritual). Tibetan Buddhists believe the heart is responsible for the white light I saw, the white light people describe seeing before death right before moving onto the next life. Once I got to the heart alot of the questions I wanted answers to started getting answered.



I wanted to know who my soul mate was, what the meaning of life is, why we're here, what is truth for me. The first answer I got was about my soul mate. Right before the trip I was torn between this girl Windy & a girl Samantha I had just met who reminded me of Windy. Then it seems as though Windy had forgotten all about me but she holds such a big place in my heart I wasn't ready to move on. A free spirit, a soul that burns in the night with a deep passion for life, a fire within that you only read about. Her way of living inspired me to begin my spiritual journey which led me to this point. Little did I know there's a reason I dream of her almost every night, why I get Deja Vu around her so much, why when we first met I felt us both gaze into each others souls & I had this incredible sensation like we had met before. Iboga showed me we're soul mates & now I'm left waiting for the right time, for a chance to be her friend. If I ever get that chance I'll make it last until the end. In the vision when I reached the heart chakra I heard my voice boom out loud like I was asking who my soul mate was, it happened automatically like I didn't even have to think of it. It was like because I wrote down all my questions before taking the root the questions were already programmed into my subconscious to be asked later. As soon as that happened Windy appeared on a green lotus flower platform suspended in space & from there she yelled "Kenny! I love you! with such enthusiasm it warmed my soul. I heard her say "We're meant for eternity, our love will stand the test of time". The platform symbolized her heart chakra as I was on mine we communicated our love & our platforms moved together suspended in space until we were together & hugged & kissed with such passion I could feel a beam of love going from my heart to hers with such pure joy & ecstasy it was as if we became one in that moment & our souls were in complete bliss just combining with the others counter part.

Every part of this experience seemed more real than waking life & everyone I saw that I knew personally seemed to be their true self, like the inner child in them was fully out to be them-self, they were so creative & enthusiastic & passionate about everything they did or said. That alone was inspiring to me, passion is a big part of a joyful existence. Enthusiasm, joy, an inner curiosity & appreciation for everything. Every moment. Being true to yourself & not letting your mind convince you to hide or discard aspects of yourself. We have to laugh at the mind, our fears, doubts, insecurities, repression, limiting beliefs. They're all the enemies of progress & reaching our true potential I feel like I got the answers to my other questions through breaking through the walls & becoming one with the clear white light, pure consciousness, connectedness, bliss, joy, I'm a part of everything & everyone as they're a part of me. Unconditional love is the most powerful force in the universe & we have to learn to appreciate everything we do have. I live in America & have a car, a guitar. Do you know how amazing that is? We should all be happy when our basic needs are met because some people don't even have that luxury! Don't wait until you're nearly dead to start being grateful!

This by far was the most beneficial experience I've ever had even though it almost killed me it's like every day is a gift now. When the experience was over I was exhausted & slept for quite a while, when I woke up i saw the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen from my hospital bed & I was so grateful to be alive, I made sure all the doctors & nurses knew how much I appreciated them taking care of me. I still laugh because when I woke up the kept asking me all these funny questions in case if I had gone crazy.. You did this for spiritual reasons? You said you were selfish before? Do you think eating is selfish?



Beliefs shape our reality, lucidity will show you that so take what you learn with lucidity back to waking life & meet your true potential, that is my foremost goal. Don't be afraid to explore, reintegrate lost parts of yourself, face nightmares with love & see what happens. Lucidity is an invaluable tool. In my second lucid dream ever through belief I was able to experience that ego-less state once again & I woke up feeling great! I highly recommend reading "Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self" by Robert Waggoner if you get the chance. I'm now completely committed to Lucidity for life. I ordered the Remee lucid dreaming mask & I'm so happy, this marks the beginning of my dream journal here & the beginning of my journey to the inner self. To reintegrating every last lost part of me. Healing what I rejected in the past & facing any & all fears. Going on adventures to space, Europe, Australia, Africa, Egypt, the Amazon all with my soul mate Windy who is still in my dreams almost every night (I bought an engagement ring by the way) & I'm saving it until the right time. Thanks for reading! I hope maybe I can inspire someone to strive for lucidity or to just go after their dreams I know my beliefs aren't for everyone. Happy dreaming

Pre-dream: After my datura nightmare I had in my nap during the day, I decided to not take anymore datura for a few days but thought I'd try some more valerian tea before bed in hopes to improve recall and/or vividness of my dreams. I made some tea, and yes it's indeed as stinky as people say it is, I wouldn't say "sweaty gym socks" but it's definitely pungent and isn't exactly a nice smell. I put in some sleepy time tea into it as well and this easily covered the scent and taste. I fell asleep after a bit of tossing and turning and had a few random dreams through the night but only remembered the last.

Dream: I found myself in the driver's seat of a car, my mom in the passenger seat, and an old family friend in the backseat with his son. For some reason I was driving his car because he couldn't and my mom was constantly telling me how to drive and being overly cautious of everything I'd do, as always whenever she is in a car with me. I couldn't figure out where we were going, they wouldn't tell me, so I just focused on driving and realized how dark it was. Suddenly I realize the car is going very fast and my mom keeps telling me to slow down, but I tell her I can't. I couldn't hit the brakes and we were going uphill very very fast, it felt like some 80-90mph. Everyone starts freaking out but I tell them to calm down, I just have to find the brakes. The family friend in the back tells me to turn on the high beams of the car because we couldn't see anything ahead of us and there were no cars in sight, it felt like we'd gone off road and I had the sense we were up on a canyon.

The more they panicked the more I found it hard to focus on finding the brakes and turning on the lights and the speed of the vehicle kept escalating as we were reaching the horizon of this hill. Before I knew it we had gone too far and there was nothing I could do. I felt the lift of the car no longer touching the floor and we were now flying off a cliff at roughly 100mph.


The view from the front seat, now that we were in free fall, looked like we were just dropped out of a plane and we could see tiny cities down below and it looked like it'd take minutes before we got there. No one said a word but there was this strange calm, since we knew we were about to die. My mom pointed out to the city down below and said "Pretty, isn't it?" and I just grabbed her hand and said "I love you mom." I couldn't think of anything else to say... I mean what do you say when you're about to die?

Then the car disintegrated into small particles, followed by my mom and the family friend and his child, I was now free falling by myself getting nearer and nearer to my death. But as I arrived closer to the floor I saw reflections of the starry sky in a river outside of the city, and then I fell into it and realized I was now in space. I saw strange fractal luminous crystalline buildings that reflected stars all around it.

Although a pretty piece of art in it's own right, what i saw in the dream was so much more breath taking. it was also much darker as if i was in space, still it was something like these buildings.

Everything was glowing and absolutely beautiful. I thought I had died and ended up in some strange astral realm or heaven, but realized I was still falling, I was no longer scared and I embraced it. After some more free falling I eventually woke up and was amazed at the detail and memory recall I had.


I was in total awe of the sights I had seen and in retrospect I've never seen such a beautiful sight in my dreams alone, I'm very convinced these visions were shown to me by the valerian root tea and I look forward to future journeys with it.

In my first dream I find myself floating around in 3rd person. I begin to notice that I'm at an old home I lived in except it had been taken back by nature.


I'm amazed by the tree vines and roots that have consumed the walls. There was this mystical sense with little particles floating in the air and a few rays of sunlight peering from holes that were now in the roof. I focused on the particles and to my surprise some of them were floating in very peculiar ways, so I zoomed in closer and I noticed they were actually faeries. Very happy little guys, floating around, glowing, and minding their own business. Some were attending flowers and removing pollen and sap, it was really cute. Then I noticed one in particular speaking to another one, this is when I took over the body of the 2nd faerie.


He began to talk to me and was telling me that if you listen closely, you could pick up human conversations, it was like a magickal sense that the faeries had the ability to do, anywhere they were. I listened intently and picked up the cry of a little boy being physically abused by his drunken father. I pleaded to my faerie friend that we must go and help him, but he told me we weren't allowed to interact with human affairs. I found it ridiculous so I flew away. There was a slight sense of lucidity, not that I knew I was dreaming, but I had a very good sense of control that felt different from normal dreams. I zoomed around till I found the source of the noise I had picked up and my faerie friend followed after me. We saw the father yelling at the boy but it wasn't anything I could understand. I tackled at the window over and over till the man looked at me with total shock. I notice I had a very bright aura coming out from my wings. He dropped his bottle and yelled something in an angry rage, but he backed off and stormed out of the room.


The boy looked at us from the window and had tears rolling down his face. My faerie friend proceeded to do some faerie magick and was shooting small fireworks and bursts of light for the boy, who was very pleased. I noticed it had been raining and could see reflections of the lights in the raindrops sliding down the window. The boy smiled and there was this great sense of peace and serenity in the air, a feeling I've felt before in dreams, it was very nice. He waved at us and somehow I had the sense he knew we were leaving, everything faded to black and I woke up.

¡Single Sentence Sizzler!®

4.1.2011

Eval (Non-Lucid)

★★★☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Originally Posted by Mzzkc

I drift and roll, consumed by bliss, by care free wonder, as my thoughts, my life, my being are evaluated true, false, back to true, on and on until I soar too high; the weight of my consciousness brings me crashing down into an empty, concrete pool.

Morning of October 8, 1990. Monday.



Three different postal addresses represented (over time) my childhood home in Cubitis in reality. There was was the original “General Delivery” where you claimed your mail at the post office by name only, without any identification. It was a small town, so I guess people trusted each other for the most part, although it was probably more realistic to say you were known by all (to a point). After this, we had “PO Box 29” at the post office. Finally, it was “Rural Route 4 Box 504”, established by a mailbox across the highway in front of Karen and Kenny’s house. I am “sorting” these memories out in my mind and moving into a different “realm” - “living in Cubitis in-dream” even though I was living in La Crosse at this time.

Finally I settle on some sort of “new” connection with Brenda W. I had not seen her in reality since 1977. This was before I had done extensive dream work and discovered overwhelming evidence that Brenda W was, since early childhood, a “stand-in” archetype for my real wife-to-be, who was also typically represented by an implied tulpa or “imaginary girlfriend” (with every single unlikely aspect matching my wife-to-be exactly including the mixed Magyarorszagi Romak and Australian accent and heritage - the only girl I have ever directly known with this mix - though I am sure there are many others in the world). I am not entirely sure why Brenda W was “selected” (by who knows what forces in the universe) to be the “stand-in”. There was not that much of a resemblance, really, other than dark, somewhat curly hair and a loose association (on Brenda’s part) with Roma (or Hungarian gypsy) culture. Brenda was not Roma.

There is a lot to consider - and it is a challenge to augment one’s attention towards several thousand dreams of a particular nature. Ever since I broke through into my realization of the “paranormal” (for lack of a better or more suitable term) nature of my life since birth with far more remote viewing and precognitive perspectives (eventually, even while awake) than not (as well as the continuous meaningful synchronicity), it has put me into a rather “unusual” life path (by typical mainstream perspective only - I no longer seriously associate the unexplained as unusual) as well as in regard to my continuous bafflement with humanity itself (which I consider far more unexplainable than the so-called paranormal). Before the “Blue Sun” dream, I could still ponder if Brenda had become a stand-in for my “imaginary” wife-to-be (that was validated to be real about six months from this dream) due to a (lesser or forgotten) conscious choice - simply to “fill the gap”. My “mystery girl” however, turned out to be real.

In my dream, there is one scene where I see an adult Brenda W (or who I assume to be her as I had never seen her as an older adult) at the end of a checkout at Tinsley’s IGA. She smiles at me and I am aware that she is a poet and that we are apparently crossing paths again for whatever reason. (Brenda never really wrote poetry, though my wife is a published poet.) There are remembered lines in my own unfolding in-dream poem (not in any competition with her poetry but more like some sort of ode), one being “like blue lightning from your fingertips” which is directly relevant to Brenda somehow, seemingly related to her emotions and my memory. Reflecting on this line from the (fictional) poem seems to resonate with the real-life memory of when we played around with static electricity where you shuffle along and then touch someone to create the larger bolt of static “lightning” which more often than not is slightly painful. In my dreams, this effect came to be far more pronounced and was not painful and at times seemed more related to spirituality, even healing, than solely a physical effect.

In the last scene of my dream, I walk out into my backyard in Cubitis and notice a huge blue sun in the sky, to the east. In this particular dream, it is several times bigger than the real sun (though it is not implied to be hotter in-dream). It seems almost like a dominant spiritual force and “blessing” of some kind from the universe itself and I feel very enriched and optimistic at this point. I seem to be the only one around at the time. I wake in near-ecstasy with the “blue sun” pulsating in my left eye - and I still see it to this day, usually only when awake and more alert, and it always brings an astoundingly peaceful essence. (Other people who have experienced this call it the “blue dot”, Blue Pearl, or “blue angel” though I now see it as the primary foundation of the Merkaba, which eventually begins to rotate in a cone shape.)

This had interesting real-life continuity, though there were a number of other dreams that far more clearly defined what was coming in my life to an extent that was far more dominant than most earlier experiences (other than perhaps M’s death). I eventually learned the “mystery girl” aka “imaginary girl” was a real person and she became my wife, first making contact in March 1991.

After my blue sun dream, and without having mentioned it, my brother-in-law Bob looked startled in the living room one day, claiming he saw a “blue flame” around my head and shoulders. This is especially curious since he had never said anything remotely like that in the past - and in addition - he could not have known of my dream, and there is also the fact that he never had the slightest interest in unexplained events or cared anything at all about dreams prior to that. His life was mostly factory work, television, and fishing, and little else - and he also could not read.

Again, to this day, I still see the “blue sun” when awake, in the left field of my vision. Sometimes it is bright enough to “cancel” my real sight (and leave a whitish afterglow), but more often it is like a fleeting single blue “pulse” about the size of a star (though does sometimes repeat a few times at various “distances” and “magnitudes”) - it always brings a blissful sensation and has never been connected with anything negative. It seems directly related to some forms of telepathy and precognitive awareness. Again, I have learned that other people have experienced this, all with similar associations, and I have grown to call it “The Blue Pearl” as some others have.

As written of before, its first main appearance was as a “blue flame” around Susan R, but this was mostly an isolated event. This was the dream where I “went off with Brenda W instead - to the east”. It does seem part of the “eternity bridge” association I had recently written extensively on. In the long run, it seems to be linked with a “higher dimension” that many are not aware of. The two more “extreme” experiences with it while awake was one where it transformed into two somewhat pyramidic “blue tornadoes” (one inverted over the other and turning in the opposite direction, curiously demonstrating the Coriolis effect and the fact my wife and I grew up in opposite hemispheres by both north/south and east/west references) and the other was like suddenly seeing a “giant paramecium” with the hypnopompic-like tank-tread effect - which was the “closest” it had ever been.

Seeing this light or “flash” is not like seeing something in front of me. It is, in fact, like seeing a reflection of something that is behind me or more specifically within my mind in the reversed holographic reflection of the environment. The “blue tornadoes” event was seemingly triggered by just touching my wife on the arm. The essence of the Source is a true mystery - something that has remained primarily unchanged and which others have noted, though I still cannot say what the mechanism behind it is.