Im not sure what led to the series of events that had recently happened to me, but i was at work in a lucid state and found myself repeatedly waking up in a different place every time i opened my eyes... eventually the cops petitioned me into a psychiatric ward and i am now on new psych meds... ive been out of the ward for 4 days and i still feel like i am dreaming but i know i am fully awake. i guess what i am trying to relay is that this lucid state of mind, combined with psychiatric meds and cannabis use is somewhat a nightmare on repeat... yet i am at peace.
January 1st. I lie awake in bed after having been woken by the storm. I usually start having a panic attack from storms but tonight was different. There was no panic. I check my phone for the time and it reads about 3am. No unusual. I usually awake from my "nightmares" around 2-3am anyways. I then check the weather and see its supposed to rain for a few more hours. `Here is the fun part. I set my phone down and rub my tired eyes. The next thing i know i'm in my living room clutching my pillow as the storm goes on. It took me a while to notice the enivorement change but i was shocked. I haven't been one for sleep walking, maybe once in my entire life. I sleep talk and have conversations with people but never sleepwalk. Ever since my "nightmares" started i have started spacing out more. My body goes into auto pilot. But never like this. i usually stay in bed and try and fall back asleep. Looking around i notice nothing different. I basically said "whyyyy?!?!?" along with some curses and was like "I'm too tired for this sh*t" and i went back to bed. I still remember it very detailed and now as i sit in my room typing i keep thinking i see the figure from my dreams. Yay for nightmares and insomnia at the same time!!!
Just weird dream related things from February. I had a number of precognitives as well, but I might put them in their own entry. --- --- --- --- --- Hypnapompia. A woman is to my left, speaking with energetic curiosity. "Your eye, when it glows white, what does that mean?" She asks. I snap awake, and know not how to respond. --- --- --- --- --- I am sleeping on the couch in my friend's house. I experience a strong thought several times during the night. I am not dreaming at the time, and the thought wakes me up completely. 'He is here, now, in my presence, in this room.' I have no recollection of the thoughts preceding this. It is potent enough to spur me to instantly awaken and open my eyes wide, observing the room. Each time, I see nothing out of the ordinary, and return to sleep. --- --- --- --- --- A surprisingly vivid dream. I am lying in an open-plan apartment. The visuals are acute, but I do not know this place. Sparks fly down from above me. I turn around to look in the top left corner behind me, knowing that there is an entity present, bit my vision is spun back around against my will. I try again, and the visuals are distorted, flipping the room and returning my view to the front. On my third attempt, I can look up, but see nothing except for a hazy invisible aura. I become tired and lean back in my hammock. I feel like I am being drained, all my energy is gone, and I fall down exhausted and hardly able to move. There are kittens beneath me! I need to save them or I'll crush them, but my movement is dragging. I am aware of a change afterwards. I know that I have to remember the full sequence of events and I set to reciting them while still in the dream. Suffice it to say, I have since forgotten. --- --- --- --- --- Manage to hold vibratory hypnagogia for a full hour or so. Lots of weird visuals, but nothing out of the ordinary besides the duration. A dream from later that day. I am loaded into a canon on a satellite orbiting high above the Earth's atmosphere. I am fired down a long tube towards the ground. I fall so very far and for so long. I am not sure how to hold my body as I streak through the air. I am very aware of where my limbs are. Eventually I hit the Earth and tumble across the ground. I'm perfectly fine but my equipment is a little damaged. "Next time I should remember to deploy my parachute," I say out loud. --- --- --- --- --- I'm outside in a suburban neighbourhood with a real-life friend and his mate. We are smoking, and staring up at the night sky. There are three moons. We think it's very strange, and wonder how the optical illusion could be caused. Shame I missed the lucidity cue. --- --- --- --- --- I am with the Sentinel and a number of others. I know they are my protectors. White robes cover their eyes. I am not lucid, and in my office at work. They are discussing something amongst themselves, a metaphysical topic which I do not understand. In my non-lucid state, I seem not to mind. I look out the window and see that the sky is dark with thunderheads, a storm approaches. In the street below, I see the strangest anomaly. A huge thick cloud of a dusty, ochre, gaseous condensation. Thick, black, plasmatic streamers coil within, like electric water waiting to discharge. It is dangerous and very vivid. It passes by beneath us, we go unnoticed. I note that the streets are still dry, and people carry umbrellas but they are closed. I expected it to have left a torrent of rain in its wake and am quite surprised. --- --- --- --- --- I pull on a blue poncho that I am offered and conjure my reflection before me to see how it looks. My head is gone! I laugh, thinking that this is amazing. I tilt my head around, trying to see if my eyes have fallen down the trunk of my neck. A friend approaches, and seems perturbed by my odd behaviour. I exuberantly tell them that my head is missing, but they look confused. I turn back to my reflection and am dismayed to see that everything has returned to normal. --- --- --- --- --- I am sleeping on the floor of my friend's room. At some point during one of my dreams, I become aware of a dark presence closing in around me. It slowly tightens its circle, a fear-inducing blackness beyond. I rush around frantically, unsure of what to do. I call on the Sentinel, and I feel his presence appear. He urges me to scream, and so I do, but instead of a cry of fear the most ungodly sound comes out of my throat. It sounds like the wail of a banshee. The sound immediately banishes and drives away the encroaching darkness. I force me eyes open, and in the darkness of the room I see a glowing blue face. 'It's just an illusion,' I remind myself, and it fades away. But I was not the only one who had bad dreams that night. --- --- --- --- --- I smoked some mugwort for the first time. I had a lot of fairly vivid dreams, and while I did not become lucid, some part of me was aware as though I was. I began practising dream control exercises which I normally would have done while lucid. I teleported around, surprised that it came easily to me. I also attempted to change the colour of a rock to yellow. In the dream, I was convinced I had failed, but when I awoke to record the dream I could only remember the rock ever being yellow, so I suppose it had worked even better than expected. --- --- --- --- --- Hypnapompia. I am a girl; blue, silver, watery, lunar. I pass into another space and now I am a boy; red, gold, fiery, solar. But I am still the same person. --- --- --- --- --- Some strange pseudo-sleepwalking. My muscles hurt, so I lie out on the floor of my bedroom. As I fall asleep, it feels as if I fall out of my body and through the floor. No dreams, but after some time, my room mate moves about in the hall and startles me. I open my eyes sitting on the edge of my hammock. I know that I had hurriedly stood up from the floor and moved to the side of the room, but I was definitely not conscious while it happened. It takes me a while to shake the disorientation. --- --- --- --- --- I am inside a collection of shops in my hometown. I become lucid, but I have not stabilised well. I stagger about to find some dream characters to harass. I barge into a room, and several people turn to look at me. I begin to speak, but its apparent that I'm not holding onto my lucidity well. It falls away and I wander off to go and rake some leaves. --- --- --- --- --- I am with a friend in a bed within the dream. We want to sleep peacefully but I am afraid of the house. As we are lying there, I sight a black mass entering through the door. My friend tries to calm me down, but I begin to panic and awake. I realise that the image is of actual objects in my room, but rotated 90 degrees to the left. As I awake, the visuals pivot to their correct alignment before my eyes. My head had not turned, only the image in my mind. It was very bizarre.
1. Something disturbs me, and I get up and go look out my bedroom door just as someone comes in and passes me by. I see nothing out in the hall and turn back to look at the person – but there’s no one there. Then I realized that I was awake. I don’t know if the whole thing was sleepwalking or if some part of it was a dream. Inspiration: Probably from my door creaking because of the wind and me being paranoid. 2. Editing Kyou Kara Maou! on Goodreads. Inspiration: Was thinking about how the KKM! light novels weren’t in the MyAnimeList database and wondered about Goodreads. 3. Me and Rane follow someone into a waiting room of sorts. I’m wearing a long skirt and a sleeveless, light blue denim shirt I think. I lean against the wall as Rane sits down. She pats the seat to her right, the only one of the four along that wall that’s available, and I go sit down. I overhear someone talking across from us, something about a young girl (around 16) being engaged, and I see she’s obviously not ready for it and shake my head mentally. She had dirty blond hair in a ponytail. Then a dog comes up to me and I greet it like I’m familiar with it. Only it turns away when I try to pet it. But then I see another dog and think that must be the one I know. There’s another, bigger dog as well, and I decide to just pretend to ignore them and let them get to know me at their own pace. They’re all brown-haired, two are coarse-haired and one is long-haired (the bigger one). The last one comes over and smells my hands in my lap and I let it without moving. When I think it’s okay, I move them to pet the dog but it moves away. Now we’re standing at the door out talking to the man we came with. He’s asking us what food we want and gives us two options. The conversation is a bit vague, but Rane decides she doesn’t want the one, but instead ‘Cesserian food’. Mentally I’m a bit ‘hmmm’ because I don’t know if I’ll like it. Jump. I’m in a room where someone is cleaning up stuff, there are papers with things written on them lying around and I realize some of it might be important. I go over and grab my dream journal and a clipboard with papers on it. I’m in a bathroom that looks like the downstairs one IWL. I need to go but it’s totally clogged/gross and the seat is broke. I try to flush it but it doesn’t take care of it fully. I decide to try another one. As I’m heading upstairs, I decide to go the bathroom up here; I know it’s always clean. Jump. The man had given me some kind of item that was supposed to be a convenient way to transport yourself around. I was scrubbing at this pillow with a rag or something until I thought the area was big enough to use. Then I pressed myself down onto it and waited to be transported. …But nothing happened. (I was expecting to sink down into it and reappear somewhere else.) I remember getting frustrated before because I dribbled water down a little black and white notebook with words on the pages. I was annoyed and went to tell mom about it. She told me a bit about how it was supposed to work, and that you can get a marker that works for 2000 strokes. Inspirations: Thinking about going through mirrors and transporting through water. Thinking about my aunt and her husband. A mix of a story mom told me about my uncle. My aunt going into labor last night and mom leaving to go be with her made me think about waiting rooms.
Updated 03-15-2015 at 03:43 AM by 20026
1. I’m standing on my tippy-toes up on my bed reaching for something (on the ceiling fan?), wearing the same thing I went to sleep in - my Superman logo shirt. I come to realize that I’m awake and really am standing on my bed. I wobble back down, feeling confused, before I craw back under the cover and go back to sleep. 2. Hanging around a house. There’s an autistic boy and his cat. The cat is super friendly, I remember petting it when it snuggled against me. I played a Pokemon game with him. I looked in a bottom drawer of something at three of his books. Jump. I’m on a porch with a roof with him. We suddenly burst into dance with some music playing. I’m really letting loose, doing all kinds of moves including some flips, which is dangerous because I’m wearing the same clothes as IWL, a white shirt with a butterfly on it and a very long, wavy blue skirt. We finish, and a group of elderly people pop up outside the windows of the porch that weren’t there before. I realize that we had probably disturbed them, our neighbors, with our noise. But then suddenly they break out into a choreographed dance! But then when I look at them, there are also mid-aged clones of the same chubby guy. I think how vigorous the dancing is, and how good it would be for losing weight. I turn and ask “How often do they do this?’ After they’re done, one of them hands me a PaperBackSwap book in the default white wrapper. I get excited and open it, but unfold a piece of paper from it. It’s a notice that I’d have to go pick it up since I missed the delivery. It says I actually have to go to their house to get the book, which I think is bullcrap. Part of the address has ‘Metville’ in it although I remember thinking upon recalling it that it was something else. There was also something written in big print letters on a black square. Inspirations: I got a PBS book recently, the notice might have been because I was worried about getting my credit for sending off a book. Pokemon from reading past dream entries. Where did the dancing come from?? Need.more.dancing! Waait the dancing may have been inspired by a mod for Dragon Age: Origins! Yesterday I had everyone dance to a folk song in Camp. Chubby guys most likely from The Biggest Loser, since I had just looked at my paper and saw it was coming on the next night.
Updated 03-13-2015 at 04:37 PM by 20026
02.08.13 The dream fragment, and thoughts: I was on some kind of class trip (i don't go to school anymore), out in a fjord somewhere. In the nights, i was sleepwalking and supposedly did all sort of strange stuff. Like tearing up milk-packs and putting them inside of each other. I was very scared of what i did when i was sleeping, because i did all these advanced activities, that made no sense at all. Afraid that i would do, or had done something bad.
Original entry dated 03/20/2006: According to C, the other day (night) I had what we have come to call an 'episode'... I sleepwalk, I do it very very VERY rarely. I also talk in my sleep, a little bit more often (sometimes I can actually tell that I'm asleep and I'm talking in my sleep but I can't actually do anything about it). She was worried since I was going on 15 hours of being asleep. So she yelled toward my bedroom for me to wake up. My response was, apparently (I don't remember this) to get out of bed, walk from my bedroom to the couch, and lie down on the couch. Apparently I actually said a few sentences to her (she didn't say what) and went back to sleep on the couch. After a while, I got up off of the couch, and I was waving my arms and muttering/talking. When she asked me what I'd said, I angrily replied, "I'm not talking to YOU." and went back into my bedroom, lay down, and went back to sleep. This reminds me vaguely of an incident that I DO partly remember, about a year and a half ago. At some point, something startled me out of bed, I don't remember what. I remember a very loud, disorienting ringing/buzzing noise. I lived alone at the time. I ran around my apartment, panicking, unable to fully wake up (I realized that I was half-asleep but could not fully bring myself to consciousness - I could barely think at all), running in circles and throwing things around. I vaguely remember that I was searching for clothing to put on so that I could escape my apartment and run outside. Thankfully, two things prevented me from doing this: 1. I realized, even in my barely-awake state, that I was undressed (tshirt and underwear) and could not go outside in that state, and 2. I was too disoriented to find clothing, much less put it on, before the episode subsided and I crawled back in bed. I recall that it only lasted a few minutes (5, at the most) and that as soon as the deafening humming/ringing subsided, I went back to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I thought that perhaps the fire alarm had gone off, but upon asking my neighbors, they said that no fire alarms (including the smoke alarm in my apartment) had gone off the night before. My mother ironically suggested that I had been dreaming.
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