Been laying in bed for hours asleep, but fully aware as though awake. I can’t feel my body, it’s floating weightlessly in space. There’s a soft wave of energy slowly undulating through me, like the lulling sway of a hammock, but it’s inside of me. My mind isn’t focussed on anything in particular, but there’s a constant feeling of tension that binds me inside my own body. Technically, I can move, but reality seems frozen. Time seems frozen. I stare ahead at the door and watch the light move between the cracks as my perceptions distort to my will. I can make them flicker or move in the direction I want. I can make sounds turn off or on. Meager control over my perceptions brings me comfort, but still frozen, knowing that it’s not real. I can only dream of having control over reality. I tell myself that I need to get up… Gotta move forward with time because time is moving without me. Eventually I get up… I check the clock and note that several hours have passed. Then indecision binds me again. I don’t know what to do. I lay back down after my muscles ache from sitting in one spot for too long. This goes on all day. Rinse and repeat. I dreamed that my old house was trying to kill me last night. Same old. I’m glad the new one doesn’t do that.
Nothing much happened, but I'll post the notable parts here Entries in quotes are things I actually wrote at the time, either in my DJ or my phone. (Rewrote most of the DJ logs because they're very messy.) (From 0-30 hours I was at my house, 30-55 hours I was at J & L's house, and 55-59 hours I was back home.) 3:10 am (18 hours): Was paranoid that my brothers were awake, so I lay still for a while and entered a half-asleep state. Felt refreshed when I snapped out of it twenty minutes later. ??? (~19 hours): Was rubbing my ear and could've sworn I heard my mom yelling my name from downstairs. I was terrified she'd somehow heard me moving around or creaking the bed, but I didn't hear her coming up the stairs, so it must have been a hallucination/hypnagogia. 5:23 am (20.5 hours): Fell into the same half-asleep state for the same amount of time, and again felt refreshed afterwards. 6:30 am (21.5 hours): "Tired. Eyes keep unfocusing, can't read. Still feel gross. Closing eyes leads to instant hypnagogia, auditory and visual." 6:45 am (22 hours): Decided to lay down until 7:00, accidentally fell asleep for 10 minutes and had this dream: I was in a house for a swim team meeting. Kept floating and a little girl was making her bear stuffed animal float as well. I jumped down from a ledge onto the bed she was on, then bounced to the floor. "Wow, did you purposely avoid my legs? 'Cause that was a close call!" she said. Her legs were curled into her chest underneath the blanket. "Yeah, I have lots of practice jumping on beds," I said, referring to my brother's. She pointed to my brother's friend Vinson and said he had a younger brother. I was shocked, and they were amused that I didn't know. She asked if I could go get him and with a sense of deja vu I agreed. I sensed that he had not come any of the other times I went to get him. Went into a hallway/basement area, was a bit worried because I knew I was sleep-deprived, and even if it was only for 24 hours exposing myself to creepy situations wasn't a good idea. But I ignored it and went on, calling for the brother, "Arglot." (Pronounced Arr-glow.) I heard Valerie [person from swim team] calling for him as well. Surprisingly, he appeared around the corner and said bluntly, "What do you want?" To diffuse his attitude, I said in a casual tone, "Your friend and brother… well, just your friend, really, is asking for you." "Okay, okay, well tell her…" Forgot what he said. We were going up the stairs and I saw Kira, was thinking about how Arglot looked like her brother Marcus and how I didn't know she and Marcus were related till recently. I really am clueless, I thought. 7:50 pm (35 hours): J&L and I were watching a movie and I felt pretty horrible the whole time. Wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it through the night. The feeling cleared up after the movie ended. ??? (~41 hours): Briefly fell asleep for ten minutes. J was calling my name but I didn't respond, had to be slapped awake. 3:04 am (42 hours): "Watching Inuyasha but very tired and keep drifting off, was shocked awake by hallucinating my brother's echoing scream/roar." 3:16 am (42 hours): "Keep drifting off slightly and hearing songs before an Inuyasha character speaks loudly and snaps me out of it. Cannot focus on screen, eyes too blurry and unfocused. But I can keep track of the plot." 4:27 am (43.5 hours): "Feels like I fell asleep, but it's just the plot of the anime feeling like a dream." 5:40 (45 hours): J gave up. She was somehow able to stay awake just by lying on her back and daydreaming, though at one point she hallucinated me asking if she was up and mumbled "mmhm" to the air. I was very confused. 9:37 am (45 hours): "...I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30-ish. The experiment is probably ruined but I'll just subtract three hours. Might've had a dream but not sure. Something interesting did happen, though: "I don't know if this was a dream or hallucination or what, but when I woke up my Chromebook was open in front of me with a bunch of text-to-speech voice options on the screen. They kept playing and it was difficult to move the cursor, but I managed to close the tab. Then I logged out, closed the Chromebook, and placed it on the desk. "I know the TTS tab was not real because I don't have anything like that on the Chromebook. But it actually is on the desk, which doesn't make sense because I didn't plan to go to sleep and must have fallen asleep with it open on the bed. Well, whatever... "My eyes are slightly bloodshot. Last night J said they looked purple, like a raccoon." 1:39 pm (49 hours): "I'm not tired, but when I close my eyes I feel dizzy. A throbbing dizziness, similar to that boat-rocking feeling I used to get when I was younger." 8:11 pm (56 hours): "Again, could've sworn I heard my mom calling for me, but it was very quiet and unclear." 9:35 pm (57 hours): "Tired only in my eyes. When my mom asked me for help with something, I suddenly felt a strange, full-body fatigue." And that's it. The rest of the time I felt fine, sometimes a little tired. I also got a feeling similar to heartburn once in a while, and had a mild headache. Would've done another night if I could spend it at J&L's, but doing it in my shared room with only books and podcasts to keep me occupied (plus trying to stay quiet) is agonizingly boring.
FINALLY a lucidity-related dream after more than a week! Went to sleep at 11:30 as usual. Dream #1 (Non-Lucid): I was swimming against an AI version of myself, not in a pool but in a flooded sidewalk-moat around my neighborhood. I think there was another AI watching us from the sidelines. AI-Me slowed down to compute something and I actually put in effort to win, swimming as hard as my tired body could and feeling the ache in my muscles. Eventually I reached the finish line (the parking lot in front of S's house) and celebrated with a little victory dance and whooping. I was well aware that it was out of character for me. The two AI bots watched in an almost friendly manner. Next thing I knew I was walking toward my house with S, when a ton of bees appeared in our path. I drew a chalk-shield like in The Secret of Kells to keep them out and took S in the opposite direction. But then a bunch of flying white worms appeared in our path, and this time S was scared. I hooked them under my arm and flew away, straight through the worms, but they were whimpering and squirming and freaking out so I said, "Can you calm down? I know what I'm doing, look," and showed them a decoy worm that I was apparently using to deceive the real ones. S finally relaxed and I looked around for a safe place to hide. We touched down at the gap between S's house and another, and I was thinking, Ah, this is where that dream tree is at, probably a safe place to be. [I've had two dreams about a magical tree in this area and I am SO MIFFED THAT I DIDN'T BECOME LUCID FROM THIS THOUGHT.] There were a bunch of people practicing gymnastics on either side of us and it made me a little uneasy. "Why are they doing gymnastics this late at night...?" I wondered aloud, but decided to brush off the feeling and dragged S to the group on our left. A coach came over and amiably challenged me, asking doubtfully whether I could do gymnastics or not. I played along, saying, "Of course I can, I was enrolled in gymnastics for two years when I was four years old, you know!" [I was actually around six or seven, just said four to make it sillier.] Then I turned to a girl named Avery who did swim team with me a long time ago and said, "Avery, we used to do cartwheels and handstands and stuff together on swim team, right?" She said, "Yeah, at swim team." "Oh yeah, 'at.'" [Even now I'm confused about which is correct...] Then I attempted a front walkover, telling them it had been years so as to lower expectations, and fell on my butt. They praised me for getting the first part right. I pumped myself up, getting back into position and telling someone to move because "I got a good feeling about this one." But as soon as I said that the good feeling went away and I regretted it. I managed to do a successful, albeit wobbly, front walkover and was a bit disappointed, but figured it was fine since they couldn't be expecting much anyway. They applauded me just as they did the first time and we all got along from that point forward, except for S. While I took pictures of the group, S sulked in a corner by themselves. I'm pretty sure this was a false memory, but I had the sense that this had happened before and I had gone back in time (as I do in some of my dreams). I told S to join us and they made it in for the last couple photographs. I said to them, "I'm relieved, because in the previous timeline I was looking at these pictures and found it unfortunate that you weren't in any of them." ——— I actually don't know when this dream occurred because I kept waking up without writing it down, instead going over it in my head so that I would remember. This led to at least two dreams of recording it in my dream journal, and when I sat up to write it down at 8:30-ish I was annoyed that they hadn't been real. I was mad at myself for not trying harder to perform WILD during the night, frustrated that I hadn't had a lucid dream for a while. I was still a little tired, so I decided to give it one more go. I lay down and repeated "do a reality check" over and over in my head, trying to relax my body. Eventually some auditory hypnagogia kicked in, one of which was my brother's voice chanting along with me. My daydreams started to gain a life of their own, and I followed them, dropping the RC mantra and instead focusing on the fact that they were dreams. Dream #2 (Lucid Daydream+Lucid): In one of these daydreams, a bunch of people were sitting on a bed having a meeting of some sort. I focused on one guy and could sort of feel what he was feeling, but not really. In another, I was standing next to three or four teens and threw a rock in front of us. It changed into a boulder midair and flew into the sky. One kid had a camera and snapped a pic—I think he was a reporter of some sort. I flew in front of his camera and boasted, "Hahaha, you know why that's possible? Because this is a dream!" He or the maybe-nonexistent fourth kid mumbled, "And what are we supposed to do about that...?" Another said fearfully, "Is it like ChatGPT?!" [lmao] And the one farthest left asked, "Does that mean none of this matters?" "Of course not," I assured him. "It's still part of my mind and I can come back whenever I want (once I have the ability). All my dreams are one universe and that universe is just as real to my brain as reality itself, okay?" Then I left, thinking to myself, Perhaps DCs' eyes should turn gold once they become lucid... but then so many would have the same eye color, and what about those with naturally golden eyes? Maybe they'll be naturally lucid as well... Hmm, maybe the eyes can be either black or gold? Ah, whatever. I climbed the trunk of a tree in front of my house, like I was just clinging onto the trunk with my legs and arms. It was at this point that I felt ready to "actively enter the dream," and focused on touching the bark with my fingers... 'lo and behold, it worked! I had successfully entered my dream body and could now see and feel the tree as if it were real life. But I don't think my brain had properly formed the size of the trunk, because it kept changing and wobbling. I tried to adjust it, but I wasn't sure how big it should be either. [The problem was that if it was too big it would be unrealistic for me to be wrapped around it, but in real life it's a pretty big tree so I was confused.] I tried to stabilize the dream by focusing on sensations, making noises, paying attention to visuals, but I could feel it falling apart. I couldn't drop off the tree or make any sudden movements because I knew I would immediately wake up. Soon it was like my vision split in half, and a couple seconds later the trunk turned into my blanket. I realized my eyes were open in real life. I quickly closed them, seeing nothing but blackness. My body was numb, but I was sure I could move it if I wanted to. I tried to summon up the image of the tree again, and it kinda worked, booting up like a weird simulation, but it wasn't clear enough and I wasn't tired enough so I gave up. Well, I'm just glad I managed to have another lucid, no matter how short it was Here's a pic of the tree:
Okay sooo yesterday I saw that April 12th was National Lucid Dreaming day and wanted to do something special. But I don't know anyone here well enough to attend a party with them in a dream (like I saw people doing on the forum post), so I tried to wrap my friend J into it. I told her to meet up with me in a dream at either her house or the elementary school nearby. I don't thin I really believe in shared dreaming but I was curious what would happen. I went to sleep at 11:30, using MILD to imagine the scenario. Woke up at 3:50, had a very vague idea of a dream but didn't write anything down. Instead I closed my eyes, kinda trying to do WILD, repeating over and over in my head, "J's house, J's house..." and fell back asleep within minutes. Dream #1 (Regular): Next thing I knew I was sitting up in my bed and the lights were on. I was watching a 3DMV Project Sekai song featuring Mafuyu and Mizuki, focusing more on their voices than the models. Their singing was quite vivid, at first I mixed up their voices but soon was able to identify them. Mafuyu's was less soft than usual and vibrating quite a bit, while Mizuki's was deeper than usual. I thought they didn't sound as good as they normally do but oh well. My mom came into the room and startled me (my door was on the left instead of the right for some reason). She was wearing a pink wig and a Lolita dress though I didn't notice this in the dream. She was concerned and a bit annoyed by my scared reaction but eventually must have left because next thing I knew I was trying to do WILD to meet up with J in a dream, only for her to come in again and interrupt me! She started talking to me about something unimportant and I was like, "Can we talk about this later, I'm trying to meet up with J in a dream right now." She didn't really get it but eventually left me alone. I tried again, and this time some very intense auditory hypnagogic hallucinations kicked in right away. [It's worth noting that auditory HI is the main type I get, I even entered a lucid dream from it one time.] I could vividly hear in my head the hustle and bustle of a mall, a food court it seemed like, and voices talking behind me, that of a small child standing out. I even felt sleep paralysis setting in which excited me because I knew that meant I was close to sleep. (I also felt my face sink into my arm which bothered me, but I wasn't going to risk moving.) I hoped I would find myself in a mall when I drifted off, and then I'd go to J's house to meet up with her. Well, wouldn't you know it, when I opened my eyes, I was in a mall! Not a food court—I was lying down on some pool chair in front of an internal balcony—but still! Was I lucid though? No! Somehow I thought I had been attempting WILD in the mall and had stopped because a blond lady interrupted me before I fell asleep. She somewhat resembled my IB ESS teacher Mrs. B and was next to my chair, fiddling with something on a stand next to me. "My gosh!" I exclaimed in an exasperated yet excited tone. "I was so close just now, I had super loud hypnagogic hallucinations, I even got sleep paralysis for the first time- well, I noticed it for the first time." The blond lady had an abnormally large, gap-toothed smile and said something about never having experienced sleep paralysis either. There was an ant crawling out the side of her mouth onto her cheek and I stared at it but didn't say anything. She lifted her hand to her face and I don't know if she picked it up or if it just fell onto her hand, but it ended up in her palm somehow and transformed into an amalgam of a bee and a cockroach. I am terrified of bees in real life and it was only now that I got a little freaked out, pointing at it as if she weren't aware of it. She tossed it in my general direction and I immediately woke up. ——— When I opened my eyes I had the sense that the beeroach was somewhere on my sheets and had a hypnopompic hallucination for the first time in years. I used to have them occasionally when I was younger and had a nightmare... for some reason they only seemed to happen when I had a bug nightmare. I don't consider this a nightmare but I saw a giant, brown, wispy ant crawling on the sheets in front of me nonetheless. I was a tiny bit afraid but knew it wasn't real. I closed my eyes until I knew it would be gone, then wrote down my dream. Funny thing is it was around 4:15 when I woke up, so I was only sleeping for about 20 minutes. When I finished writing down my dream it was 4:40 and I tried to sleep again even though I felt pretty alert... it took me an hour before I did. I know because I heard my mom getting ready for work downstairs, which she starts doing at 5:30-ish. During that time I was attempting SSILD but forgot what you're supposed to do after going through the cycles [turns out it's just "try to fall asleep"...], so as a last ditch-effort I tried WILD again, repeating "J's house, J's house" in my head and imagining us meeting up. Before I knew it, I was in a dream! ——— Dream #2 (Regular): I was in fact in J's house, though I wasn't lucid. Visually it was a mix of my house, J's house, another friend's house, and some random house, but functionally it was just J's house. I entered a dark room and found J's twin sister L lying down on a mattress, a TV in front of her. She had "HELP ME" scrawled in blue ink all over her left arm and I (falsely) remembered J telling me that she'd done it because she was stressed out about the upcoming exams. On the TV was a video made by some History YouTuber. He was answering whether he was a pessimist or an optimist and said something along the lines of, "Well objectively from my content I may seem like a pessimist, but the answer's a bit more complicated if you take a deeper look into my complex psyche!" I sat on the mattress behind her and watched as the camera flipped up to the ceiling and a woman sobbing could be heard, as well as a screaming child in the background. I was very confused why he would upload his personal life on YouTube, wondering if he was abusive, or if she was abusive, or if she was being dramatic and scaring the kid, or if it was all some twist that he would clear up at the end. I never found out though because I left the room. I started to close the door but L didn't want me to, and besides the mattress was in the way. I was now walking through the living room and picked up a gray frog stuffed animal, which I think was S's (another friend), then threw it back on the floor. In the dream it was around 5:30 and I assumed my mom must have left for work because she wasn't there (I don't know why she would be at J's house anyway but whatever), and wondered where J&L's mom was. At this point I "remembered" a part of some dream and wanted to write it down, but my dream journal was upstairs so I decided to do it later. I also knew J was upstairs and thought about waking her up but knew she'd be mad. So instead I enjoyed being the only one up in an empty and quiet house in the early hours of the morning. I skipped into the kitchen area... and suddenly found it impossible to keep moving. I fell forward and immediately woke up. ——— Here are some quick sketches of the dream scenes: It was 6:03 when I woke up so again, I couldn't have been asleep for very long. These dreams were more vivid than usual, maybe because they were so short, or because I was trying so hard to meet up with J. If you're wondering, J did not recall any dreams in the morning so I guess we can say the reason I never got to see her is because she didn't keep up her end of the deal P.S. I know I said a couple days ago that I wouldn't include my semi-lucid dream in my LD count, but I change my mind. The lucidity level was very low, even my awareness level was lower than in these dreams, but it was a lucid dream nonetheless so I will go back on my word and add it (I love that emoji.)
Updated 04-12-2023 at 11:33 PM by 99938
This has happened to me on several occasions now. I can dream while 100% awake and walking around. All that's needed is being tired enough. These episodes only last maybe two seconds, but enough for a random image, thought or sound to manifest. If there was ever a case for 'time compression' in dreams, it's this. On one occasion, I saw people through my closed eyelids because I took a little bit too long to blink. Extreme exhaustion. On another, I saw a street scene on our coast. And cars. It all looked so real, and yet I was awake and walking around. Not just minor hypnagogia, but sights and sounds. Years ago, I was on the bus when I was suddenly 'teleported' to a street not far from there. I manifested in the middle of a street and a car had to brake really hard to avoid hitting me. We drove past that location later.
While at work (very much in real life), I was walking around back and forth (I'm a guard of sorts). I was dead tired, having slept very little the night before. While walking, I closed my eyes for a second. I saw people in front of me, including a man whose face changed the harder I focused on it. I tried to call out to them (mentally, I didn't speak in reality) but obviously the hallucination ended when I opened my eyes again.
Morning of January 9, 2018. Tuesday. This is part five of my prefatory series. It will only be viable (within a main index) on my main dream journal. So far, I have explained, as concisely as I could, four common dream components. I have included hypnagogia and sleep paralysis in the same entry despite, in my own (apparently unique) experience; the two events are completely unrelated despite numerous articles I have read that link them together. For me, reading articles about hypnagogia or sleep paralysis is pointless and here is why: People talk about “suffering” from sleep paralysis or hypnagogia, or that it “scares” them, which has never made any sense to me. They describe “dark figures”, “evil”, a malevolent presence, and so on as if they had some sort of tangibility or potential influence. Sorry people, this is something I have very limited experience with, even in tens of thousands of dreams in my over fifty years of study. There are exceptions, though these have been validated to mostly relate to biologically premonitory events or sometimes rare apnea caused by a combination of eating too close to the sleeping period and while sleeping on my back. For me, if I find myself in sleep paralysis, I seek to embrace and enhance the experience. I do this by deliberately rolling my eyes up towards my forehead, which typically intensifies the perception of a loving entity being present and sometimes I am annoyed when I feel “she” is gone (though I never see her in this state). I sometimes hear a very pleasing humming sound (which I sometimes perceive as moving in a figure eight above me). I usually feel waves of pleasure moving through my body, from head to toe and back. Eventually, I usually, if I hold the state long enough, feel a rising sensation. I do not see any imagery while in sleep paralysis, I only have enhanced touch and sound, sometimes buzzing (even tangible lovemaking - female on top, especially one event with Zsuzsanna before I came to Australia to be with her). I also perceive in a completely different way than during hypnagogic sequences. Now, I will go on to describe hypnagogia, which I also find very enjoyable. Since childhood, I like to remain in hypnagogia for at least an hour or more. During this time, which is always wholly lucid (and always had been, even as a toddler), I like to step into and out of dreams by way of conscious will, though I have to wait for the sequence to slow down. This is because when it first starts, it is very rapid, dream settings changing from more than one per second, though gradually becoming slower over time until it is a rate of about one setting every five seconds. Eventually, when it slows down to about ten seconds per change of setting, I step into a setting of my choice. I have done this since earliest memory and it is a very vivid and intriguing experience, but I never mistake it for being real in any way, though I do often slip into non-lucidity. (I did not realize that other people were not like this until I was about eighteen years old. I had read a little about it, mostly in dictionaries, but did not really read that many articles relating to this state. Imagine my surprise, especially when some people call it a “medical problem”. Much of the world is, sadly, very stupid.) Most feasible settings in hypnagogia are vivid and colorful outdoor settings. This includes beautiful forests with rivers, lakes, and waterfalls (which I have viewed on a day-to-day basis all my life), neighborhoods with interesting houses, farmyards, train stations, and so on. Sometimes it is a beautiful underwater scene (such as coral or sea fans and various species of fish), which I most often just watch without entering (even though I can breathe underwater in the dream state). Sometimes the settings will seem to rapidly shake from side to side, slowly dissolve, to be replaced by some sort of grid or abstract pattern (typically like leaves floating in water and quivering) before becoming a different setting. Such an event usually only occurs once or twice in a sleeping period. For example, in one instance when I was a young boy, I was watching chickens walk around in a farmyard, some of them pecking at the ground (this was before my father decided to change our rabbit farm into a chicken farm). As I continued to view the scene, there was a very subtle roaring sensation and a sort of fizzing effect, and leaf-like patterns that replaced the setting after it quivered side to side (with no actual movement on my part, that is, no movement of my physical body or perceived movement of my dream self). This is only one form of hypnagogia. Other types are too surreal to view as a legitimate place to “enter”. Curiously, zooming in or out, and longer panning sequences, as seen in movies, had never occurred in my dreams until I had watched television for the first time. To me, this is a very important realization. It tells me that watching television or movies creates a very profound change in the nature of perception. I have never read of anyone else facing up to this fact. This is ironic, in that hypnagogia itself rarely presented anything I had ever seen in waking life, which ultimately convinced me that something else was going on, though I am still not sure what. Other forms of this state vary. For example, there is a state where I coalesce with other figures, typically only experiencing bliss or an amazing sensation. Glowing human forms (of different implied ages) jump into my chest, making me feel healthier or more vibrant. There is a state where dream characters also rapidly change, yet while the setting is fully stable, sometimes faster than once per second (which has served as a reinduction trigger in stabilizing lucidity if it has faded, when I begin to become aware of this after about ten minutes). In still another state, dream characters seem very odd. They may be only half-formed, or they walk around and phase through bushes or walls and sometimes get stuck. In other states, I am able to summon (solely through automatic expectation) whatever vivid experience I choose. This is typically coalescence with other entities and is always a satisfying energizing experience, and is always near a body of water (such as a river, lake, waterfall, water park, campground, or swimming pool) usually in daylight. I sometimes marvel at the beauty of the water as the surface reflects certain patterns yet simultaneously reveals what is under the surface. As such, I may jump in and out of numerous dreams (at the rate of about one per minute or more) of this nature in about an hour. Due to how I am apparently different from most people in this way, this particular entry is probably of no use to people who “suffer” from their dreams or dream states. Why am I different? On the one hand, I was a ten-month baby instead of a nine-month baby. While my mother “almost bled to death” giving birth (according to reports), she very quickly recovered. On the other hand, some people have claimed it is related to healing myself after my accident as a toddler when I nearly lost my left hand (when a large shard from a broken mug sliced through my wrist and out the side of my forearm). The nerves and tendons were supposedly too damaged (and reconnected incorrectly in surgery) to ever work again. Somehow though, after I willed myself to gain use of my hand (while both awake and sleeping), the nerves and tendons, even though they had been connected wrongly, began to work to where my hand had full use (with no difference in how I perceived which fingers I was moving as might be expected). Whether or not my deliberate healing of myself through different levels of consciousness changed how I became more aware of other levels of consciousness and their symbolic dynamics, remains unsolved, but it does make sense, as I am typically aware of what dream symbolism is representing as it is occurring, something that most people do not seem able to understand.
After lucid dreams (and sometimes after nonlucids): What are those blobs of colour I see in my vision? They resemble crumpled wads of paper or origami. They appear just before the dream ends and persist several seconds into wakefulness, clearly visible as I lie in bed. If I close my eyes tightly they're still there. Once it was purple and white on a violet background (viewed through a rectangular window surrounded by blackness). It vaguely resembled a neuron or a cancer cell. That one was clearly dimensional and floated in 3D space. I could study its contours and still remember its general shape. This morning it looked like an orange-and-black walnut. I fancied I was seeing my optic nerve. That's my best guess. Does anyone else see these things? What is it about the dream state (or hypnagogic state) that makes them appear? Is this related to the "sparkling void" I hear lucid dreamers talking about or is that something different?
INT. CHURCH - DAY A breakfast of pastries, cheesecakes, and cobblers on two right-angled tables with white tablecloths invites a crowd of diners. They mill about indecisively while women stand ready to dish out the food with plastic spatulas. A white inclined plane appears in space. I rest on it. Suddenly it turns on a hinge. My astral body falls with that familiar jolt. Still conscious enough to self observe, i smile in my half sleep, recognizing what just happened: "Ah yes, that might have been an OBE!"
Updated 12-18-2016 at 01:21 AM by 92227
Some troubling self-esteem dreams this month. I was gripped with the notion that my friends despised me. Despite knowing that they were just dreams, I was still emotionally affected by it. Thankfully, by the end of the month, I had worked through this issue. A lot of hypnagogia this month as well. It's been interesting to say the least. --- --- --- --- --- Some strange, oily hypnagogia. I see intense but limited visuals. A painted white spiral staircase. An empty apartment room with french windows, people standing on the patio beyond. I am gaining traction, but I get the sense that I am positing my awareness inside another person. He moves without my guidance, beginning to stumble, perhaps due to my influence. He turns and falls to the ground, reaching a hand out hoping to catch himself. I hear one of his associates call his name, and then again but closer and far louder. It is so sharp that it awakens me completely. --- --- --- --- --- I re-attempt a lucid technique that I had tried once before. As I lay awaiting sleep, I begin to count. "1, I am dreaming. 2, I am dreaming." As I do so, hypnagogic voices begin to intrude. They sigh and sound disappointed, and then begin the try to interrupt my counting. Some speaking over the top of me, others counting backwards trying to muddle my continuity. I press on regardless. They are annoying but not hostile. --- --- --- --- --- I dream of a crime scene. A thick-set man enters an underground bar frequented by those with criminal affiliations. It is empty but for the barkeep and his staff. He asks the barkeep to recount the events of the previous night. A young man had become drunk and rowdy. In his inebriated state he had stumbled and fallen, punching a drink off a table by accident. The drink's owner, the man now standing in the bar, had been intoxicated himself. Enrage by the slight, he had instantly drawn his pistol and fired three bullets into the younger man. The barkeep vows not to tell a single other soul about the event. The next day I take the tram to work and we pass by a road blocked off by police tape. A man had been murdered in the early hours of the morning, affiliated with the local mob. Three bullets. --- --- --- --- --- I am at a supermarket but all the fresh produce looks old and stale. I am offered a punnet of raspberries, but they look rotten. I eat some anyway, and instantly spit them out. They taste sour and foul. The sensation of taste is strong. --- --- --- --- --- My arms and legs are all tangled and tied up in knots, restricting my movement. I beseech a male friend for help and he assists, untangling my limbs. He pulls a note out of my back pocket, indicating that it may explain the issue. I unfold the note and read it. The top line reads; 'You need to quit smoking.' It is followed by a single word at the bottom, bracketed as though an after thought, but capitalise for emphasis; '(CUNT)' I am so shocked by it that the memory sticks strong in my mind. The next day I begrudgingly decide to quit smoking. --- --- --- --- --- We are a team of soldiers on a perilous mission to vanquish a great alien intellect within its own metallic domain. Through holes in the floor, we can view the next dangerous stage of our journey. We meet a man who is besieged by the same entity, but he is also caught up in the illusions that it presents. Through the holes, he sees his own home and family. We warn him that he is too close to the being and this is a sign that he is endangered. He deliberates on what to do. --- --- --- --- --- I am in the back garden of my grandparent's house, a memory from childhood. My cohesion is low, but the detail is still quite high. I go inside. The house is quiet, but items are left out on the table. The room feels lived in, as though somebody had been here not too long ago. I flip the light switch, and nothing happens. I sigh, miss the lucidity cue, and turn to my left, instantly spying the breaker box. I find it odd that for some reason it is now located in the kitchen. The door is open with only a single fuse switch. I flick it on and the lights spring to life. I turn back around and there is a tall man wearing dark clothes leaning against the sink behind me.
Just weird dream related things from February. I had a number of precognitives as well, but I might put them in their own entry. --- --- --- --- --- Hypnapompia. A woman is to my left, speaking with energetic curiosity. "Your eye, when it glows white, what does that mean?" She asks. I snap awake, and know not how to respond. --- --- --- --- --- I am sleeping on the couch in my friend's house. I experience a strong thought several times during the night. I am not dreaming at the time, and the thought wakes me up completely. 'He is here, now, in my presence, in this room.' I have no recollection of the thoughts preceding this. It is potent enough to spur me to instantly awaken and open my eyes wide, observing the room. Each time, I see nothing out of the ordinary, and return to sleep. --- --- --- --- --- A surprisingly vivid dream. I am lying in an open-plan apartment. The visuals are acute, but I do not know this place. Sparks fly down from above me. I turn around to look in the top left corner behind me, knowing that there is an entity present, bit my vision is spun back around against my will. I try again, and the visuals are distorted, flipping the room and returning my view to the front. On my third attempt, I can look up, but see nothing except for a hazy invisible aura. I become tired and lean back in my hammock. I feel like I am being drained, all my energy is gone, and I fall down exhausted and hardly able to move. There are kittens beneath me! I need to save them or I'll crush them, but my movement is dragging. I am aware of a change afterwards. I know that I have to remember the full sequence of events and I set to reciting them while still in the dream. Suffice it to say, I have since forgotten. --- --- --- --- --- Manage to hold vibratory hypnagogia for a full hour or so. Lots of weird visuals, but nothing out of the ordinary besides the duration. A dream from later that day. I am loaded into a canon on a satellite orbiting high above the Earth's atmosphere. I am fired down a long tube towards the ground. I fall so very far and for so long. I am not sure how to hold my body as I streak through the air. I am very aware of where my limbs are. Eventually I hit the Earth and tumble across the ground. I'm perfectly fine but my equipment is a little damaged. "Next time I should remember to deploy my parachute," I say out loud. --- --- --- --- --- I'm outside in a suburban neighbourhood with a real-life friend and his mate. We are smoking, and staring up at the night sky. There are three moons. We think it's very strange, and wonder how the optical illusion could be caused. Shame I missed the lucidity cue. --- --- --- --- --- I am with the Sentinel and a number of others. I know they are my protectors. White robes cover their eyes. I am not lucid, and in my office at work. They are discussing something amongst themselves, a metaphysical topic which I do not understand. In my non-lucid state, I seem not to mind. I look out the window and see that the sky is dark with thunderheads, a storm approaches. In the street below, I see the strangest anomaly. A huge thick cloud of a dusty, ochre, gaseous condensation. Thick, black, plasmatic streamers coil within, like electric water waiting to discharge. It is dangerous and very vivid. It passes by beneath us, we go unnoticed. I note that the streets are still dry, and people carry umbrellas but they are closed. I expected it to have left a torrent of rain in its wake and am quite surprised. --- --- --- --- --- I pull on a blue poncho that I am offered and conjure my reflection before me to see how it looks. My head is gone! I laugh, thinking that this is amazing. I tilt my head around, trying to see if my eyes have fallen down the trunk of my neck. A friend approaches, and seems perturbed by my odd behaviour. I exuberantly tell them that my head is missing, but they look confused. I turn back to my reflection and am dismayed to see that everything has returned to normal. --- --- --- --- --- I am sleeping on the floor of my friend's room. At some point during one of my dreams, I become aware of a dark presence closing in around me. It slowly tightens its circle, a fear-inducing blackness beyond. I rush around frantically, unsure of what to do. I call on the Sentinel, and I feel his presence appear. He urges me to scream, and so I do, but instead of a cry of fear the most ungodly sound comes out of my throat. It sounds like the wail of a banshee. The sound immediately banishes and drives away the encroaching darkness. I force me eyes open, and in the darkness of the room I see a glowing blue face. 'It's just an illusion,' I remind myself, and it fades away. But I was not the only one who had bad dreams that night. --- --- --- --- --- I smoked some mugwort for the first time. I had a lot of fairly vivid dreams, and while I did not become lucid, some part of me was aware as though I was. I began practising dream control exercises which I normally would have done while lucid. I teleported around, surprised that it came easily to me. I also attempted to change the colour of a rock to yellow. In the dream, I was convinced I had failed, but when I awoke to record the dream I could only remember the rock ever being yellow, so I suppose it had worked even better than expected. --- --- --- --- --- Hypnapompia. I am a girl; blue, silver, watery, lunar. I pass into another space and now I am a boy; red, gold, fiery, solar. But I am still the same person. --- --- --- --- --- Some strange pseudo-sleepwalking. My muscles hurt, so I lie out on the floor of my bedroom. As I fall asleep, it feels as if I fall out of my body and through the floor. No dreams, but after some time, my room mate moves about in the hall and startles me. I open my eyes sitting on the edge of my hammock. I know that I had hurriedly stood up from the floor and moved to the side of the room, but I was definitely not conscious while it happened. It takes me a while to shake the disorientation. --- --- --- --- --- I am inside a collection of shops in my hometown. I become lucid, but I have not stabilised well. I stagger about to find some dream characters to harass. I barge into a room, and several people turn to look at me. I begin to speak, but its apparent that I'm not holding onto my lucidity well. It falls away and I wander off to go and rake some leaves. --- --- --- --- --- I am with a friend in a bed within the dream. We want to sleep peacefully but I am afraid of the house. As we are lying there, I sight a black mass entering through the door. My friend tries to calm me down, but I begin to panic and awake. I realise that the image is of actual objects in my room, but rotated 90 degrees to the left. As I awake, the visuals pivot to their correct alignment before my eyes. My head had not turned, only the image in my mind. It was very bizarre.
Writing everything out like this in short summaries is very therapeutic. Recurring character is recurring. I am drifting over the water. I am dead. I am missing my other body, but what is it? Invisible, impossible, immortal. it is the body which grants me power. --- --- --- --- --- A single note, at the bottom of one of my journal pages. 'I don't remember why we were in the submarine'. --- --- --- --- --- Hypnagogia. A single voice on the edge of sleep. "Fall back into my tentacles." "Excuse me!?" I stammer, but darkness envelops me. --- --- --- --- --- I am walking with my brother, advising him about some personal struggles he is having. I get him to a read from a poetry book that he has been assigned for school. I haven't read it, but I'm surprised at how good the content is, and relevant to his problems. I tell him to read one passage a day and meditate on its meaning. --- --- --- --- --- He's under house arrest. Had we been stealing things? I feel like it must have been for a good cause. Eggs! Oh man, I want some eggs. He is quickly forgotten in my pursuit of eggs. --- --- --- --- --- A man and a woman have kidnapped me, ferreting me away into the nearby forest. They need time to cast their teleportation spell, but a warrior woman has followed us looking for me. I manage to sight her through the trees. She looks exactly like me. Perhaps I should have struggled. The spell is cast and the dream shifts. --- --- --- --- --- I shift, and find myself in a forest. He is here with me, the Sentinel. There isn't a doubt in my mind that it is him. We smile at each other and talk a little, but mostly there is just a silent knowing. I have to climb a tree. One of the branches is on an incline and is long, sturdy and straight, but it is broken right up near the trunk. I am small, perhaps it will hold my weight a while, but not for long. He watches me, giving the occasional word of advice. He feels I should abandon that path altogether and climb up the smaller, but more secure network of branches to the side. I think that I can make the best of both. --- --- --- --- --- "It's 5:70pm," someone says. For some reason, it doesn't strike me as odd. --- --- --- --- --- I am walking down a street, but I can empathically sense everything about the occupants of the houses without seeing them. One of my friends arrive, so I tell him all about it, forgetting that it is quite normal for a dream. --- --- --- --- --- We are soldiers in a five-man squad. Zombies attack. I climb to elevation and use my rifle to pick them off. It does not take us long to dispatch them, but our commanding officer informs us that we cannot move on until we find our final party member who has gone missing during the raid. We look around us but cannot see him. Other squads past by and radio messages are sent out, but nobody knows where he is. I think about what I know of him to try and work out where he could have gone. All I know is that his name is Horse, because he is a horse. --- --- --- --- --- I am in a fantasy game world. A quest giver keeps telling me to take a Potion of Patience and sit still for a while. I should have taken their advice. --- --- --- --- --- I'm walking, but my vision and cognition are still very hazy. "Sentinel? I wonder if you can hear me," I say. "I can always hear you," he replies, a voice in my mind. My attention is piqued. "Let me go somewhere quieter away from all these people so we can talk," I say. A nice idea, but I am distracted easily. There are people listening to music, and I dance and sing along, thoroughly enjoying it. When I feel I have spent enough time intruding on their space, I turn around. There is figure concealed by shadows smoking and observing in silence. I thank him for letting me enjoy this time, and move on. --- --- --- --- --- The kingdom is fleeing at the behest of the Queen. A bushfire approaches and threatens their lives. The young royal advisor frantically suggests that we should check on the Watchers, the entities which look over our kingdom, before we leave in case their loyalty should wander in our absence. I go up to their chamber, overlooking the town. The walls are carved stone and the room is well lit. The door opens before me, bidding me entrance. On a stone plinth sits a thick tome. The Book of Kings! I am excited to see it in person. The Watchers fill the pages with information when they wish to communicate with the royals of the kingdom. My mother may be the Queen, but I am not of royal blood. This is a great honour. I sit down, filled with anticipation. The advisor returns, freaking out that we should become trapped in here by the Watchers and never allowed to leave. I snicker under my breath. "Just approach the door and it will open for you," I say aloud. But in my head, I think 'Or rather, they will open it for you'. --- --- --- --- --- I'm taken to a bar by some friends. One by one, people from my past begin to arrive. It feels as if this has been arranged. We go outside to observe a ceremony. Hundreds of people are amassed on the banks of a river as a a boat comes through and the ritual begins. Everyone begins to glow red or blue and their abdomens look like interlocking fingers. Each chooses a partner and merges with them, before disappearing and ascending. One boy approaches me, but I ask him to keep his distance. Eventually they all disappear, and only a small number of us are left behind. They will return when the journey is over and they have seen what was intended. I seek out an older woman inside the tavern. She is the lover of a wise old Indian man. I ask her about the ceremony, but she does not want to say too much, and I do not want to appear ignorant. She says that the ritual requires the ingestion of a certain mushroom, and that they will return after its effects end. I ask her if she ever joined in the ceremony before, and she tells me that she has not. --- --- --- --- --- Hypnapompia. My cat is meowing, but it sounds more agitated than normal. My half-dreaming mind translates it into words as I border on the edge of sleep. "I'm sorry if I have offended your personality as a lion," she says in my dream.
Updated 03-26-2016 at 05:05 AM by 89402
Some more snippets. Lots of snakes this month. I mean to go and visit a friend, but the route to his house is blocked by a swamp of crocodiles. I am with some people who become quite alarmed when they realise that there are snakes right nearby. I am not frightened, and neither is my cat. The snakes are not scared of us. The larger one is a slate-grey colour with dull yellow rosettes along its left flank and steel-blue rosettes along its right. It coils around in front of us to show that it is comfortable in our presence. The second snake is much smaller. Its scales were a rusty red-brown and it had a rattle on the end of its tail. --- --- --- --- --- Earlier in the dream, I had used my phone to take a photo of someone I had seen. I would do this occasionally in dreams, and even though obviously the camera was fairly useless, it would help to mark a moment to focus my recall on when I awoke. I was walking around in front of the state library in this dream and came across an array of items that looked like they had been abandoned by someone who had come this way before me. There are clothes on the ground, along with an ice-cream tub with only one scoop left. In the tub there is a photo of the tub itself. I shake my head and continue on. --- --- --- --- --- We're running a con or playing a game, I am not sure which. My friend is trying to impersonate a man he's never met. He's wearing a bright magenta suit. I don't think he's going to be able to pull it off, but I'm keen to watch anyway. Mid-way through our gambit, a person rushes over to us. "Wraith! He's an astral wraith!" the person cries. I walk over excitedly. "Really? You're an astral wraith?" I don't know what it means, but I'm intrigued. He looks over, an unimpressed expression crossing his face. "No, no. You just misheard." He says to me. The dream fades. --- --- --- --- --- I am in my parents' front garden. There is a small green snake here, warming itself in the sun. The visuals are very clear and distinct. Blisters have broken out on its skin and smoke is rising from the wounds. It seems to be doing this intentionally, the warmth of the sun purging the toxins from its body. I reach for my camera, but am suddenly teleported high above the Earth and the scene is lost. --- --- --- --- --- My friend and I are battling a huge zombie. We all leap through the air towards each other, my friend firing an assault rifle while I swing wildly at the zombie's head with a blackjack. It is taking damage, but not nearly enough. It lunges towards me, coming closer than I would like. 'I'll stab it in the eye,' I think to myself. Everyone stops mid-air. "Woah, dude," my friend says, taken aback. "Yeah, that's a little bit excessive," says the zombie. "Calm down." I look around at them, uncertain myself. The GM steps in. "You've already decided upon your action. Roll damage." --- --- --- --- --- I dream I am with two of my real life friends, a couple I know. In the dream, they are bickering constantly. I take them outside and sit them down. I haven't done couples counselling before. I begin to talk to them about the issue, but they seem confused. They don't see it as a problem and am unsure why I do. I'm confused myself now, have I missed something? The next day in the waking world I catch a tram with them both. They spend the entire tram ride bickering. One is trying to organise something to do together for the other's birthday, but the other is being very tense and resistant. I observe and say nothing. --- --- --- --- --- "Your ears are full of wax," someone says. I am lying in my hammock, talking to someone over my right shoulder, but I cannot see them. The hammock is full of rocks and they are digging into my back. --- --- --- --- --- An episode of hypnagogia. I'm lying in my hammock again and hear a voice from over my right shoulder. They are speaking to me. "An illusion," I state. It's voice sounds like it is smiling. "Glad to know that's how I come across," is it's only reply. "Who are you!?" I shout out with some desperation, but there is no response, and the episode fades away into sleep. --- --- --- --- --- I could see my self clinging to a sinking boat, half-submerged in the ocean. The boat was not mine and it was full of explosives, and yet I clung to it still. A woman towered over the horizon. An explosion went off behind her, as though in the same room, yet I was very small in the world below. She glanced over to check on it. I was angry at her, but I didn't know why. I was plucked from the ocean and rescued. My friends rushed over, attempting to heal me, but I suspected that it had been the woman who was responsible for my safe recovery. I was indebted to her, but felt very conflicted, and didn't even understand why. --- --- --- --- --- "I'm just going to pay for these in the next room," I tell the man, items scooped up in my arms. "Sure," he shrugs, regarding me with absolute confusion. I'm always the craziest DC in my dreams.
very interesting dream phenomena tonight. slept from about 12 pm to 9:30 am and had normal dreams, was awake for about half an hour, and fell back asleep from 10 - 11 am which is when the interesting stuff started... midnight - 9:30 am i was looking at clothes in a large department store. i wanted to buy a dress. the dresses i wanted (one black dress and one light blue dress with dark turquoise polka dots) were in the children's section, but i figured i could fit into them anyway since i'm petite. the next dream began in my grade 9 drama classroom. i was talking to an attractive girl with long black hair and pale skin. i believe her name was nadia and i understood that she was russian. i felt intense feelings of love and tenderness for her. there was a bed in the classroom, and we wanted to sleep together, but we were afraid other people would see and judge us. at some point the classroom morphed into a bedroom. i remember nothing else. 10-11 am hypnagogia after a short period of wakefulness i lay back down in bed and shifted into a half-aware state. i was still environmentally oriented - i opened my eyes a few times to see my bedroom as it normally is - but i was experiencing the involuntary associative thought that accompanies the hypnagogic state. generally i enter directly into sleep shortly after experiencing this "hypnagogic thought" but in this case it was not so. i began to have what i now realize were auditory hallucinations. at first i believed i was listening to a podcast on my laptop, which i often do before falling asleep. the audio was very distinct and i could identify the different people's voices although i was not able to make out the content of their speech (it was a little quiet.) then music began to play: specifically, the songs neutral milk hotel - oh comely and the gerbils - glue. i remember being puzzled about how these songs were playing without me interacting w/ the laptop but i believed they were not hallucinations because the audio was so clear and the songs were so perfectly reproduced -- and after all, i was not dreaming! i am able to tell that this was a hypnagogic state and not a dream of being in bed because at one point my roommate knocked on my door to tell me that she was leaving for school -- this occured at the appropriate time (around quarter after ten) & i responded appropriately. during the time that the hallucinatory music was playing i decided i should try to get to sleep and so i used some basic relaxation techniques (relaxing the body from the toes to the head). dreamsthe relaxation technique fades into a dream wherein i am sliding down the stairs to the basement of the old townhouse. i repeat this a few times. i am aware that this is a dream and i believe that sliding down the stairs will metaphorically allow me to 'slide' deeper into the dream state as well as 'lower' me into a state of sexual disinhibition. it seems to do both. i enter into a dream where... well, in the interests of full disclosure, i am an underage (~12-13 y/o) girl partaking in various sex acts with a nondescript college-age boy. the perspective is quite interesting here: i am watching the dream unfold in third person, but i am experiencing the sensations that my dream-self would experience in the depicted situation. i am able to control the dream by willing certain situations to happen. my dream-self has red hair with bangs and pigtails and green eyes. her outfit changes many times over the course of the dream. the male character has short black hair and glasses; he is tall and thin. the dream varies between realism and an anime-esque style (i very rarely dream in a non-realistic style; i can probably count the number of such dreams i've had on one hand.) this dream is divided into multiple different scenes. each scene begins with me meeting the boy in his college classroom (large and crowded, with metal walls; he sat near the door) at the end of class. we have to be discreet, as i am underage. after we leave the classroom, the sexual activities ensue. a full description of everything that transpired in this dream would be frankly pornographic, and i have no need to write it all down here as i'll be able to remember it without epistolary assistance. what's important about these scenes is that the sexual sensations i experienced in the dream are far, far more intense than anything i have ever experienced in waking life. i attribute this to a release phenomenon engendered by the downregulation of activity in certain brain structures during REM sleep which causes disinhibition and consequent overexcitation in various other areas; there could also be a psychological component to it. nonetheless it never fails to amaze me when i experience it. after many "scenes" the sexual dream ends, along with the lucidity. i find myself in a washroom stall, and there is a copy of a manga that contains illustrations of the previous dream on the floor. i am afraid that other people using the washroom will see it on the floor and think i am perverted. i try to find somewhere to hide it but i cannot. later i am wandering through a dark maze of strangely-proportioned washroom stalls, trying to find a normal one: i understand that they are all weirdly shaped because i am in germany. at some point i find myself atop a large warp pipe from the mario series. i am in the middle of a great sea and i can see a small island close to me. the colours here are somewhat muted/desaturated but still quite pleasing to the eye. i go to the island, which is very small and covered in yellow-brown dead grass; there is a quaint stone hut with a thatched roof here, where there lives a young woman with long blonde hair and a weathered but beautiful face. she wears a simple cotton gown. i gather blackberries and other fruits with her in front of the hut; i understand from the local flora that i am in scandinavia. i also understand that i am inside of the video game animal crossing. my perspective later becomes detached -- moreso playing a video game than being inside of it. it gets dark and the sea becomes stormy. i understand that the woman is the "lifeguard" of the sea and i decide to drown her as an ironic joke. i pick her up through the game's interface and drop her in the sea, but she will not drown. i do not remember anything else. ---- a lot to analyze here, but i'm far too lazy. it was a pleasant experience nonetheless.
First WILD attempt....a Success! May 1 2006 2:00am I just had an amazing experience. I wrote it down on paper when I first got up, but then decided to get it right on the computer. Here it is: I was awaken at about 12:15 and was having trouble falling back asleep, so I got up and did a few things and then laid back down in bed. Laying awake in bed at night has always frustrated me. I feel like I am wasting time, yet I know I need to try to sleep. But this time I thought I would make use of this time. I decided to try to WILD. It had been quite a while since I had read about WILDing, so I wasn't really sure what to do. I did remember something about counting down back from one hundred while laying real still. I figured it was worth a try since there was nothing to lose. So I got in a comfortable position on my back and slowly counted down from one hundred. But I kept having itches and found myself scratching them. I got down to one and started again. At about 50 I thought, "This isn't working. I must be forgetting to do something." So I stopped counting. I laid there for a few more minutes and then I suddenly felt very sleepy. I figured I'd try one more time. This time I didn't even count. I just laid there staring at the ceiling and focused on the feeling of myself becoming more and more "detatched" from my body. I heard a noise that was like a "hum", and I saw the ceiling "bouncing". Or maybe I was the one bouncing. Which ever it was, the ceiling would come closer then go back, then closer and then back, until finally I reached out my hand to see if I could "physically" feel it. Sure enough, I could feel it...even the texture of the plaster. When that happened I knew that I had successfully WILDed and I was in a Lucid Dream. I did the first thing that seems to come naturally for me in LDs. I flew out of bed and down toward the door. This time it was still dark outside. I remembered that in my last LD I was able to control the weather so it wasn't cold outside. I did the same in this dream. I opened the door and flew out in the not-so-cold night. I could see the house lights and street lights around me as I started to fly higher. Finally I looked over toward the city and saw all the city lights. I realized that this was not my city, but a much larger city. I decided it didn't matter. In this dream my house was on some sort of hill overlooking the downtown area. I had to fly across the hill before the ground dropped away, and I was over all the city lights. That was pretty cool. But then everything changed. I wasn't expecting this. My last LD seemed so perfectly real except for the fact that I was flying. But this one got a little strange. I was suddenly in a big dark room flying over these board games. Everything was huge, like I was the size of a fly in comparison. I didn't like it. I wanted to go back outside. I tried to change that, but was frustrated that I couldn't. I also wanted to see other people, since my LDs don't seem to have other people in them (except for that little girl that just passed through in the other one). But I couldn't make anyone show up. I decided to try one more thing. I remembered that the Lucid Dream task for April was to swallow a goldfish (It didn't dawn on me that I was now at least an hour into May). So I decided that I would fly into the next room, and that I would see a fish tank full of goldfish by the wall. And....yes.....this time I was able to do it. So there it was...this fish tank in an otherwise empty room. I landed on the floor beside it and looked at the fish. There were about 8 in the tank. They were a little more like Koi than the typical goldfish, but I figured that I had done pretty well considering this was only my second LD. They were all about 3 inches long and white in color with little spots of gold and black. When I had read about this task I had wondered if "dream goldfish" felt or tasted anything like real goldfish. I was actually very curious to find out. I stuck my hand in the water and grabbed one. To my dismay, it felt exactly like a real fish...cold, wet, and slightly slimy. Without looking at it closely, I popped it in my mouth. I stood there for a moment not knowing what to do next. I had hoped that once I got it into my mouth I could wish it into a cookie and chew it up and swallow it. But instead I had a very large, very real goldfish wiggling around in my mouth. It was too big to swallow whole. Yet the idea of chewing it was too gross to consider. I finally thought, "If I can make myself fly in a dream, I certainly can make myself swallow a goldfish!" and with that, I swallowed. The huge goldfish went about halfway down my throat before stopping. I started to gag. Unfortunately, the gagging made me wake up. But again, I wasn't upset. I suddenly realized the significance of what I had just accomplished....my first WILD....and how easy it had come. I had felt slightly frustrated that a week and a half had gone by since my first LD, and I had nothing else close to an LD since then.....until now. I am definitely going to try this again.
Updated 10-15-2012 at 05:44 PM by 5578
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