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Commentary and Awake
Dream (Non-Lucid)
Lucid Dream

Last night was fairly restless. I attempted to do a WILD around 3:30, but failed and couldn't get back to sleep. Quote from my WILD-1 workbook:

Results: Success, sort of.

Meaning, I managed to have a lucid dream (YAY!) but it wasn't a WILD, and was lot later in the morning than I had intended. Plus, it was really really short, which was kind of a pain. So, here's how the night went: my alarm went of at 3:30, just like I set it to. I was already very close to if not awake, which makes me think I was pretty close to the end of my REM cycle. I got up, used the restroom, got a sip of water, and went back to bed. After that, I did my relaxation techniques, and settled down, ready to have a WILD. Here's where I hit the wall, like always: I couldn't get to sleep. For whatever reason, my body decided that I had woken it up, so it must be morning. I tried to stay mostly still for about an hour, and did a pretty good job, but there was no luck with entering the transition phase. At about 4:30, I decided to just try and get some sleep, however, I couldn't even do that! Part of the problem, I think, was that I was hungry, so that very well may have kept me from being able to sleep, among other things. I finally just got up, walked around for about half of an hour, got a snack, and went back to bed a little before 6:00. After laying another twenty minutes or so, I fell asleep and had one or two very vivid but non-Lucid dreams, which I'll put in my DJ after I'm done with this. I woke up, rolled over, and went to sleep again.

There was no transition, no SP that I recall, and I'm not sure if I lost consciousness or not, which is what makes me doubt this was a WILD. Either way around it, the next thing I realized, I was in my bed again in the same position I had just been in. I did an RC (pinching my nose) and I could breathe! I did a couple of things to stabilize it after I woke up, but it still ended before I could do much of anything. Very exciting, though.

Here's my actual dreams:

1: Out for Dinner

This was the least interesting and least vivid of the dreams I had last night, but nonetheless, it was a dream. I am sitting in a restaurant, chatting with a bunch of my friends. For whatever reason, the restaurant reminds me of my third grade classroom, but it is decorated much differently. I feel somewhat excluded and not a part of the conversation, which makes me sad. Pretty much all the friends that I saw in real life a few days ago at a pool party were in a dream, particularly one of my better friends who is moving out of state very soon. I have a feeling that this dream was a lot longer than I'm making it out to be, but it was mostly talking, of which I don't really remember anything.

2: Oceanfront Retreat

This dream was a lot more vivid and a lot more interesting than the last one. I'll try to recount as much of it as I can, though some of the order might overlap. I'm in some sort of an oceanfront retreat. It's a cross between a couple of places I have been on vacation this summer. First thing I can remember, I'm in some sort of large wooden building. I get the feeling that there isn't really air conditioning or much else like that, and it's very open to the outside. I decide to go walk to the beach. First thing I notice, the waves are ridiculously high- I swear, they have to be a good 20 or 30 feet. They are all a perfect blue with a white crest, really beautiful and scary at the same time. I remember the ocean is, though more rough than probably possible, extremely clear and detailed. It's kind of interesting, because one of the techniques I was using to relax was imagining floating on the ocean.



Anyways, even though the waves were so huge, I know me and all the other people watching are safe, because all of the buildings and the people are on a sort of bluff (small cliff), out of the ocean's reach. I find myself sitting on some wooden stairs leading down to sea level, next to an old friend and someone else that I didn't know. The old friend, C, is crying, and I ask her what's wrong. She says that she doesn't know me and doesn't want to talk about it, so I just try and comfort her instead. I find it a little weird that she doesn't recognize me, until I remember that I'm somewhat in disguise. Just then, I realize that C's friend is really attractive, so I start to talk to her. One thing leads to another... etc. I feel a little bad, though, that I'm ignoring C when she's as sad as she is, but I quickly forget about it.

Next 'scene' in the same setting, a group of people are going out into the rough waves. I overhear them saying that they have to go save the fish. They're wearing bright orange life jackets, some sort of breathing apparatus, and a lot of other safety equipment. When they go into the water, however, the waves suddenly die off, leaving a much calmer, clear ocean. I go out to see what they're doing and maybe help, and I see a couple of them trying to fix a buoy. Somehow, I also find myself just wandering around the streets and alleys of the resort, seeing a couple of people I know, but mostly strangers.

3: Home (First Lucid)

I fall asleep laying on my stomach, which is really weird for me, because I almost always sleep on my back. It felt comfortable at the time, though. I am in my bed, in the same position I fell asleep in. I know that I've been trying to WILD most of the night, so I try to do a reality check by pinching my nose and breathing. I can breathe, and so realize I'm dreaming! I then try to get out of bed, which is a real struggle. I feel as if I'm peeling myself out of my body. Once I finally manage to stand up, I feel no more resistance. I don't look back, though I wish I did to see if my physical body was still there. I go out into the hallway outside my room. I'm a little afraid I'm going to lose lucidity, so I spin around a couple of times to try and stabilize my dream. Everything in my house is a lot darker than it should be, saying this was around 6:30 in the morning. I walk downstairs to my front door, trying to imagine that it is bright outside. I open my door, but no luck: it's still dark. I try to force things to brighten up, which is when I wake up.

So, pretty interesting night. I hope that's the first lucid of many to come!

I was mugged!

I drove to an Aldi for groceries. It was night time. I saw an ad for cigarettes on the side of a bus. I'd heard somewhere all tobacco used to be called "Inuit" brand. The Inuit used to be the main tobacco growers before the big corporations took over. Someone said the Inuit ad campaign had pairs of fire flies flitting in circles near stores at night. Suddenly it was true.


I was in a bad part of town because that's where the cheapest groceries live. I don't know why but I decided to cross the parking lot. It was very dark. I think the street lights were out on that side. So I could see the fireflies clearly. I believe that may have been why I walked that direction in the first place. There was a playground nearby and a working street light beside it. I was getting scared so I headed toward it.

Out of the shadows stepped a figure. I couldn't make him out yet. I was afraid but I smiled, waved, and said hello. I was scolding myself for my stupidity. Phillip told me this part of town isn't safe. I could get killed.

I got closer, and so did he. He was white with a tall black mohawk. And he was holding a gun. Aimed at my head.

"Hi," I said. "Nice hair."
He smiled. Thanks. You too."
"You can have my wallet. Just stop pointing that gun at my head." He didn't. He motioned for me to come with him. I was terrified but not showing it much. I kept being friendly and he seemed taken aback.

We went to some shop close by. He put the gun away. I think he had my money at this point. It was daytime. It turned out he wanted my money for a donation. People had been killed at his old middle school, including a close friend of his. There was a memorial ceremony happening. He seemed upset or perhaps uncomfortable with the social situation so I took over. There was a form to fill out. He asked if a candle could be donated in his friend's honor. The woman taking the donations thought for a moment and said that he could fill out a Mother's day ceremony candle donation form. So I did that. I think I hugged him or otherwise gave my condolences and then we parted.

It was night again driving home, which was Mom's house. I was so *sleepy* going up the hill that I could no longer see the road before me. Sight is an effort for me in dreams. I was straining but I just couldn't do it. So I decided to let someone else drive. Now this part's very odd because I was alone. I did let someone else take the whleel, but the someone was *me*. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like I let the me who had been driving go to sleep and woke up a me who had been sleeping. It was a sudden change and immediately I could see more easily. I was still sleepy and it was still difficult, but I was no longer blind.

When I got home I told Mom I'd been mugged. I asked her not to tell Phillip because he'd be made that I went to a bad part of town alone.

I dreamed I was at the principal's(DS) house. I was putting evil letters in his mailbox. He caught me, and I said it wasn't me. He believed that oddly. He brought me in his house. I realized my dream sign, and RCed. Nose Pinch:Success, Hand Check:Success, Clock Check:Success. I was now lucid! I decided to try out for that battle idea again. I changed into my Mandalorian armor with the closed-eye method. Oddly, it didn't wake me up that time. I guess I was just lucky. I went to go summon soldiers, but I awoke too soon.

The dream starts in a small town, the dream had an almost strange feeling.

so me, my friend gavan and two other people

I dreamed that I was at a classmate's(DS) birthday party. A whole bunch of my friends(DS) were there. I realized my dream sign, and RCed. I was now lucid. I decided to ditch the party. I couldn't seem to summon anything, so I ditched my battle idea. So, I stole a car and went out. I stopped by a pizza place. Some guy ran in and stole a pizza pie. I tried to steal a pizza, but grabbed hot sauce and spilled it all over myself. And it actually burned! I ran out, stole a Mustang and drove away, soon awakening.

Hey this is my dream journal, I will have more dreams to come, sorry about the explicit one to start it off..
The Change room
(warning, mature content)


So I was at a school or something, and I walked into the one of the change rooms for some reason, which turned out to be the female change room. I walked in and it was empty, so I looked at myself in one of the mirrors, and I turned out to be naked. Suddenly a girl comes skipping in naked and goes to the shower and proceeds to shower. She then notices me and begins to shower for erotically by rubbing herself in the water slowly, as well as arcing her back and sort of dancing.

She then comes over to me and looks me over, then touches my penis with her hand, she said "you like that?"
then proceeds to grab my penis fully and starts to give me a hand job. I wasn't sure what to do, then i look into the mirror and I see my mom behind me telling me not to do it.
I didn't want her to see this, so i turned and walked away, the girl "awww'd" sadly.

then I woke up.

This dream could have been before or after any of them. I remembered it when I was writing this post. I was at a car store, and I decided to try out this cool motorcycle van. It was hard to steer, and I could hardly park it. I managed to, when someone pointed out the kickstand was broken. I told them I was able to take it for a test ride, so I did not actually buy it. I think I stole it. All of a sudden, I was in Universal Studios with my mom. We were walking ad had a full day planned. My cousins were coming too! I told her I had to leave early to return the motorcycle. She said I can leave after we watch this one show... that I think ends at 10PM.

We walked through a buffet, and I saw my grandpa, my great uncle Ernie, my great aunt Alice, and someone else who I forgot. I said hi to them. That's all I could remember.

Fun night!

1- Against All Odds
Trapped on an island with some friends, I am one of those blond, cowardly girls that always seems to be the main character in a horror movie. The man who lives on the island believes it is necessary to sacrifice us all at the various shrines around the place, in order to appease the gods who cursed him. I fearfully attempt to sneak into the man's hideout, but he appears out of nowhere and begins chasing me. I let out a blood curdling scream and take off running. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking how pathetic this display of cowardice is. But I can't break character for some reason...

Still running, the man appears in front of me. How the hell did he do that!? Apparently he's the more mystic type of bad guy, I think to my character, who ignores me and runs back toward the man's hideout.

The chase continues in this manner for a while, when I notice the man looks oddly familiar. He's wearing a brown fedora, and he appears to have claws on one of his hands. "Freddy Krueger?" I ask, finally beginning to regain my true self. My question offends him, and he raises his right hand for me to see. The claws are nails, rather than knives. Drat...

"One for each death!" he yells at me, and the chase continues. ((I understand this to mean that there is one nail for each person he killed.))

Now, however, I'm running more out of necessity than fear. I'm going to kill this loon one way or another.

Once outside, I become lucid and take flight. "Ha, let's see him try to get me now!" Unfortunately, the dream ends.

2- Death Sighting
My crazy neighbor comes over to visit. She seems freaked out about something, and it takes me a while to make any sense of what she's saying. Something about a prowler in our front yard. "Wait," I say. "Did this guy have claws on his right hand?"

"It was Death!" she explodes. "I saw Death standing right next to your house! One of you is going to die soon!"

I try to calm her down. Since she's the one who saw him, she's probably the one who's going to die... Of course, I don't tell her this.

3- Book of Lilith
A mythology professor gives me access to his personal library. I find a hidden room which contains some texts that appear to be really ancient. One of the books is titled "Dark Lilith." I am startled to see this; why is her name popping up so much lately? ((IRL, this is really happening. I read some stories about Lilith last week, and since then I am seeing references to her EVERYWHERE.)) I begin reading the book... but it seems to have nothing to do with Lilith at all. It seems more like a book of shadows.

The professor suddenly walks in and is angry for no apparent reason. He kicks me out of his library and tells me that I'm not allowed to come back.

04.08.2010

Spade-Shaped Pop-Tarts (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was in my house with my cousin, looking for food. He stayed in the kitchen that resembled my grandpa's kitchen. I stayed in my kitchen that resembles the kitchen in my house. I looked where the pop-tarts are, and I saw Cinnamon flavored ones. I was a little curious, because I knew we did not have Cinnamon ones. I took two out and microwaved them. They were shaped like spades.

When I finished microwaving mine, Kyle said he wanted two. I began to eat mine when his were being made. Once his were finished heating up, mine were eaten all the way. I put a variety of dipping sauces on his plate, and gave them to him. He ate 1, left a mess on the plate, and left it in MY kitchen. All of a sudden, my parents walked in.

(This is where things got really weird. I think I was half awake, half asleep here.)

My parents began yelling at me for leaving a mess. Everything was really blurry for me, and I was extremely tired. This is exactly how I feel right when I wake up. Right then, I woke up.

Lucidity: 3/10
Vividness: 2/10
Length: ~2 Min.

OK, I can't remember how I became lucid. But it could have been a WILD. I remember waking up somewhere around
3:00 AM, took a piss, and lied there for only a few minutes. Very tired and not thinking very much. And fell asleep.

Also note that I was barely lucid in this one, so some things I did I could have done a lot better.

The first thing that I could remember was that I was facing a door and the first thing that was on my mind when I saw this was "hey let's summon a dream character" so I walked up to the door and I tried like three times, the first time I think I didn't even think of a reason why Toph would be there. I did it twice, then I realized that I wasn't thinking why she would be there. So I thought "Toph is on the other side of this door because she wants to know if I have some hot coco" and when I opened, she was there. It was amazing, instead of asking her to come in I followed her (that goes to show how lucid I am).

When I followed her I saw a queen sized bed to my left and in
front of it was a box of coco beans. And in front of the coco beans was a sleeping bag, the next time I saw Toph
her appearance changed. She had an almost bald head with a pale white face, so I closed my eyes and said
"when I open my eyes you will look more like Toph" or something like that, so I visualized what Toph would look
like and it was a lot more easier to imagine her in the dream than it was in real life, and when I opened my eyes.
She looked more like Toph, but not completely. Her hair changed and her face looked like hers, but she wasn't
as cartoon looking like in the show, but I didn't care. I took the coco beans and ate one and said "when I eat this
coco bean my dick will get larger" but it didn't do anything, I didn't even have an erection. But instead of trying
again I saw my brother and I said "Cameron I can't believe I'm dreaming" with a smile on my face. He didn't
respond and I went back to Toph. When I looked at her she was on the sleeping bag and some guy put his foot on
her and made her shrink half of the size she was, instead of making her go back to normal size, I picked up a coco
bean and said "when I eat this coco bean, I will become smaller" and I got smaller when I ate it. But not as small,
so I got another coco bean and tried it again. This time I said "when I eat this coco bean I will become as small as
Toph" and I did, so I went over there and I tried to take off her clothes. I was able to get her shirt off and she had
no boobs or nipples, she was also really bony. But I didn't even care, but right after that the dream changed. I think I might have been lucid for a few seconds but not for very long. The dream was only about a minute long and
when I woke up I sat there for a few minutes and I found out that I had a lucid dream, I will never forget this
experience of being in my mind. Thank god for this site and everyone who puts tutorials on it, without them. I'd be
going at a slower rate. The End

04.08.2010

Old Friends (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I don't remember how this started off, but it was as if I was watching a video of my two friends, Keith and Steven, on a ladder. They climbed down it to the area below, to pee in a creek. All of a sudden, a strange liquid was squirted at them. Most of it was squirted at Steven. It was a skunk! The began to climb up the ladder, watching the skunk try to get them. It couldn't, so it ran away.

I somehow appeared at the bottom of the ladder, and they were down there too. We were talking about how we never see each other anymore, and we come to the creek. I asked if the skunk is still here, but they said it went the other way. I believed them. I went into the creek, and all of a sudden, they were gone.

My friend Kyle was there, though. So we walked through the creek, and got to the other side. We talked a little bit, and my feet were muddy. We were going to his house. I told him I'll take my shoes off outside so th einside does not get muddy. We walked to his backyard, and there were these old ladder things. He said we used to play on them as kids. You can even slide down it. He climbed up his and went inside, and I tried to climb up. My head wouldn't fit! So, I slid down. We decided we would go in through the front.

When we got ot the front yard, we saw a group of Indians walking away from the door, and going to the next house over. They were singing at the door! Then, a group of people from Jenova's Witness came over to his door and started knocking on it. We walked two houses over, and somehow broke into someone else's house.

I locked the door, and looked out the peep hole. There, my friend's sister, Kristen, came up to the door. I opened it for her. My aunt and uncle were behind her. I explained that we needed to be there. My aunt and uncle were worried, but I told them I knew these people. I did not see my friend, Kailey, or Kyle again.

All of a sudden, my mom and a lot of people were at the house. We were having a party because two people from America's Got Talent were there. There was someone who I thought I knew, and then there was a person named Cole. He said that he was in the fourth group, meaning the judge's pick him. I asked a person if the three other people have been chosen. He said no, because everyone finds out ahead of time. I knew this was a dream, because I never seen Cole on America's Got Talent. I instantly lost control.

After we partied inside, we partied outside. Since my grandma's house was across the street, I decided to go there. When I was crossing the street, I thought of posting a piece of paper on myself telling people to remind me to get my shoes at Kyle's. My cousin Jeannine got to my grandma's when I got there. I asked her if she wanted to go on the computer to see an amazing act from America's Got Talent, Anna and Patryk. She said no. When I walked inside, a cake was being made. It was an Oatmeal Peacan Cake. It looked gross. My other aunt said that it was not done yet.

The new technique worked! I remembered my dream, and I even forgot to say my mantra!

---Dream---

Well I was at a shopping centre which is my dream version of the real shops down the road. It was really long and vivid, but when I woke up, I moved around and got out of bed before I bothered to write it down, so I only remember the end.

The place had at least three levels, I was with my sister, and we were trying to get to the bottom floor when we were on the 3rd floor. We stopped and looked down, and my sister was sick or something and she said "I wish I could just jump down there."

She stayed there while I kept going towards the escalators at the end of the shopping centre. I went down to the bottom floor, and saw a pet shop as I came off the escalator. There were two guys in suits who were working there. The shop had items out in the walkway as well as the actual store, so I tried to go between them, but someone with a dog and a 5-year-old were already coming through.

I stepped aside, but a dog sitting in the shop started barking really loudly at the person's dog, and the pet shop staff looked over, and I saw that the barking dog was white and ginger, and had something wrong with it's eye. It was sad, but scary at the same time. The people walked past, but I decided to go into the pet shop. It was very cramped.

All of a sudden there was a weird flying insect buzzing around the shop; it was orange and looked kind of like a wasp. One of the shopkeepers said "Ah, it'll be fine!"

I woke up, wishing I had remembered more.
I had a really full dream, I just can't remember it.
It's like having a blanket completely over a bed, but the only bit you can remember is the pillow
Like eating an ice cream, but only remembering the cone

As I said yesterday, i got a shot of bad luck. But its gone now. I complete my quota of a dream a night and started a new (hopefully longer) win streak. I didnt have a DILD again since mys first entry, but I think it takes months for some ppl to get their 1rst ones so im not worried.

The dream: Im at some kind of covent. You know these places girls go with nuns? Thats it, but not religious at all. There was a competition or task where they were seperated into groups of 2 or 3 and had to swallow the biggest thing possible before throwing it back up. Gross. There were some guys too, including Kyan. All wearing headbands or handkerchiefs with the Leucan logo (big ladybug). They all talked about their projects and demonsrated their act. The dudes were talking about an atomic whale (?) but I didnt see them throw up.

As for me, im not playing a specific character, but it certainly isnt myself. My team does fairly well, but a team of 2 girls is doing very bad because she cant get her item back up (puppet). A man who appears to be in charge is very mad. The blame is all put on her (who is hot by the way) and her teammate is pissed. Valerie is her name, I remember. I dont remember the name of her teammate though, but both of theyre faces I see very clearly.
Later, they both sit on a counter in the kitchen. The counter is brown and grey and square shaped all around the kitchen. I am Valerie at this point. She tells Vaerie that if she wants to marry a dentist, she has to stop messing up stuff. Her CV has to be clean. Then she leaves. A piece of bread is next to me and a knife is on the sink. I pick the knife and eat a bite of bread directly off the knife.

This is one of the clearest dreams I had since joining. My recall is improving greatly. Before, I would remember about a dream in a month or two. Now im getting close to 2 dreams per night. Getting closer to my goals, and it feels great.

Dream fragment: Im at what appears to be at another contest, this time at school. There are a lot of kids and also teachers watching a stage with a bench at the front. Kids go on the stage to take turns singing a song. They each have a part to sing. For some reason, I go sit on the bench. Now this is the part that was extremely vivid for me. The first girl is standing in front of the bench but decides to move to the right, where i am sitting. I slide on my butt while she keeps getting closer to me until I am at the end of the bench. I get up and she starts singing in a low and fragile voice. She looks at me like shes saying: Help! I forgot the lyrics! I say out loud: I think she has a blank memory. Thats all I remember.

02.05.2010

Get Psyched (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

In the last five nights I've probably had about 6 hours sleep, so I've been off my game. Had a solid lucid this morning though. I can't remember it in great detail because I fell back to sleep right after it.

I was in some kind of football game in a school gym. A bunch of my friends were playing, and the ball was about the size of a tennis ball. I took a running jump to try and catch the ball out of the air, and to my suprise, I glided a bit. I thought about it, and decided I was dreaming. I spent some time flying around the gym from wall to wall and floor to ceiling. I noticed a big CD player sitting on a windowsill and floated over to investigate. I pressed a button and some weird unidentifiable music came on.
"Screw this," I said, and pressed the pause button, which caused it to freeze and repeat the same note over and over. "Time for the 'get psyched' mix!" I pressed pause again and "You give love a bad name" by Bon Jovi came on. I had been thinking about the benefits of having my own "get psyched" mix play in my dreams yesterday, so I was glad to have an opportunity to try it so soon. I listened very carefully to the song, making sure all the parts were there- the drums, guitar, voices... I didn't notice anything missing. Perfect sound quality.


For some reference!

There was plenty more to this dream, but I can only remember the very end, where I crossed the street with my girlfriend and had sex out in the pouring rain. The position I was in was far too similar to the position I was sleeping in, so it woke me up. As I was emerging from the dream, I made a mental note to "do a reality check, no matter what". I can't remember what happened next at all. Complete blank.

26.04.2010

"Help me out here" (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I WILDed by accident this morning. Well, once I noticed I was heading into sleep paralysis I went for it, but it wasn't my original intention! I've heard scary reports of hallucinatory/SP/dreams involving a figure standing over the bed menacingly, but have been pretty lucky so far- having never had it happen to me. Today that changed... yaayy...

I was lying on my back (which is easy-street for lucidity if the conditions are right), with my head leaning to the right. When I felt sleep paralysis come along, my eyes did something funny. My attention was focused directly in front of me, but it felt like my eyes were moving from side to side. I could feel them underneath my eyelids- but couldn't feel the muscles working to move my eyes. Might just have been a hallucination. Anyway, I thought I'd failed my attempt when I "woke up". I had a glance round my room and looked at the painting of a cow which is usually opposite my bed. It had become warped and distorted- a bit like a shape was coming out of the picture. I assumed I was dreaming and slid out of bed. I jumped down all the stairs in one go, saying,
"Nice, fully lucid!" I headed straight out the front door and out onto the street. The street was totally different to what I was expecting. There were tall, thick trees on either side of the road, and a big red London bus was passing by. I ran alongside it, planning to cling to the side and hitch a ride, but it fell over out of the blue. It wasn't a massive crash or anything, it just went over onto its side. I was puzzled, and put it back on its wheels just by thinking it. I seemed to have very good direct control here. That could have been the reason why I got a reset-style false awakening.

I turned my head, thinking I'd woken up. Then I glanced up in the direction of the painting. In front of it was a monster. I can't remember whether it even had a body, I was so focused on the head. The head was green and black, made up of the green of the grass and black of the cow from the painting. The colours were mashed together to create a hideous visage and evil expression- and it was glaring right at me. For a second I just froze with fear. It was so incredibly real. It was like it was actually in my room. I shut my eyes and had another FA.


This really doesn't do it justice at all. Add several degrees of scariness and a bit of masculinity to this one.

There it was again. My heart started thumping as soon as I realised it was still there. I tried my absolute hardest to get out of bed, but it was like all my muscles only half worked. My back barely did at all- making it very hard to sit up. I had an idea. I raised my arm to the monster and said,
"Wanna help me out here mate?" Its head moved slightly, seemingly considering my request. Then it took my hand. Its arms looked like they were made of a pale white plastic, but its hand felt human, if a bit clammy. It pulled me out of the bed and I tried to stand. Unsuccessfully. I fell onto the floor. Looking up, I saw my girlfriend had mysteriously appeared. I was about to have semi-paralysed sex with her but I had yet another false awakening.

By now I was getting used to the monster's face, so I looked round ready for it. He had a new trick up his sleeve this time though. The face of a snarling dog now accompanied him, and they were both a lot closer than before. Scared as I was, I asked him for help once more, and he obliged. For some reason, he started to remind me of my friend Hugh. This time I could stand a bit better, which improved even more when I took a few steps whilst rubbing my hands. I looked around my room, which had grown to about three times its normal size. My friend Mark was brushing the floor. I had the idea to try the advanced task of the month- "stand on your head"- literally with your head under your foot.
"All right Mark," I said. "Decapitate me."
"Uh... how?" he asked.
"Ehh... use the brush maybe? Or smash that clock in half and use it as a blade." I pointed at a big glass clock on my wall which I binned in real life years ago. I tried to walk over to Mark, but kept getting pulled back towards my bed by an invisible force. It was really frustrating, and through fighting it too hard, I woke up.