Recent DJ Posts

We're almost done with the exams and ready to focus my attention back on lucidity. Lately DR has been... well, CRAP! But I know that I just need to get through this, with or without dreaming.
I had one Dream fragment though.

1. It's quiet crowded in here.

I was in a building with lots of people, some of them talked to me but I don't remember what they told me.

I was trying to convince some people that "A ladybug can feed us!" I was pointing to a particular ladybug which flew and landed on my shoulder and started walking around me on my neck. When the ladybug was on the back of my neck, I heard the ladybug meow twice, and I told everyone that the meow was adorable. Then the ladybug moved from my neck to the lower part of the back of my head and began flapping, lifting me up above the shore of a lake, and it was exhilarating, and I thought that it has been a long time since I flew in a dream, but I woke up almost immediately.

Dream Notes: after the dream, I found: The name ladybug has its roots in the middle ages, when it was dedicated to the Virgin Mary and called the beetle of our lady. I interpreted that "feed" as "help" but after having found out that ladybugs had protected crops by eating bugs that eat the crops, the word "feed" makes sense, and I thought this was really neat, because my waking consciousness did not possess this information about the role of ladybugs in protecting crops, yet my dreaming self knew to use the precise word.

May, 2014

Before the dream, I was having insomnia, so I imagined myself sitting on Maria's living room couch waiting to go hopefully lucid dream with her, but instead of the coffee table there, I pictured an apple tree growing to the starlit sky without a ceiling in the room.This stemmed from a Carol I heard years ago (see link below with the lyrics at the bottom).

When I finally was able to fall asleep, I was in an auditorium in an acting class, and people were doing short improvisation performances. I was also supposed to do one, but I wanted to tell the teacher that I would not be able to as I had not slept enough. Then, without trying to move, I started sliding across the floor as if skating. I thought that this was odd, and I said to myself 'I better check if I am dreaming.' So I grabbed onto a desk to stop myself and I think look at my hands, but what ended up happening was that I felt my awareness was split with one half aware of my sleeping body unable to move, and the other watching myself do a forward somersault, and as I was thinking that I was going to have an OBE, I woke up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVlcOOB81iQ

Jesus Christ the Apple Tree
Siberry Jan


The tree of life my soul hath seen
Laden with fruit and always green
The tree of life my soul hath seen
Laden with fruit and always green
The trees of nature fruitless be
Compared with Christ the apple tree

His beauty doth all things excel
By faith, I know but ne'er can tell
His beauty doth all things excel

By faith, I know but ne'er can tell
The glory which I now can see

In Jesus Christ the apple tree

For happiness I long have sought
And pleasure dearly I have bought
For happiness I long have sought
And pleasure dearly I have bought
I missed of all but now I see
Tis found in Christ the apple tree

I'm weary with my former toil

Here I will sit and rest a while
I'm weary with my former toil
Here I will sit and rest a while

Under the shadow I will be

Of Jesus Christ the apple tree

This fruit does make my soul to thrive
It keeps my dying faith alive
This fruit does make my soul to thrive

It keeps my dying faith alive
Which makes my soul in haste to be

With Jesus Christ the apple tree.

March, 2014)

Nearing dawn, I accompanied Maria to the townhouse where she was living. I walked with her to the door and saw from outside that it looked like a luxurious interior, but I only saw the stairway leading to the upstairs. She said she would be at the house until 4 when she would be going out. As I left, walking on the steps surrounded by open green space and other houses, I thought, 'I sure am glad Maria lives here.' Had I thought of what I meant by 'here' I might have woken up in the dream.

In a related fragment of another time, I had seen that there was a small window and we squeezed our faces side by side to both be able to look out the window at the same time. I said, "We must look really cute from outside." Then, I saw us from above and outside, pressed against the window, looking up, as kids, cute as I had expected. That window represents to me the window to the world beyond the physical world that we sometimes glimpse in dreams.

On actually waking, I was bothered by the number 4 because it is a number that I have come to associate with death because the number four and 'death' sound almost the same in Chinese. Then it made sense, because it seemed the house I accompanied her back to that looked like a house of stone was a metaphor for a house of bone, returning with her there after having been out with her on a now forgotten dream share. Then I thought that although it would be great to dream share, I am glad, as I said, that she is here, in this world that may too be a shared dream, no matter how 'real' it may seem.

Maria's note: The number 4 is actually a sacred and positive number in ancient Egypt. 4 is the number of containment and completion. Maybe in the dream I was telling you that I would be here in my "home of bone" until my life had reached its completion.

March 2014

I was in a dream car, and I had the thought that I was in a dream share with a woman who was driving the car. I told her we were going the wrong way, towards the Longfellow bridge where it crosses from Cambridge into Boston, and she did a quick 180 to head back into Cambridge. The dream car sliced through all the barricades that were between the lanes. Then I detached into 3 versions of myself; one who was in her dream, one who was in my dream, and one who was observing the dreams. In both the dreams, the car had become a little flying saucer, but as I observed the dreams I said, "they don't match" because in one I was hanging on to the outside of the flying saucer, and in the other I was seated inside.

dream archive 12/2013

I stepped out the door of my house and noticed some pickups with construction equipment beside the driveway. A woman in the driveway called out "Hey, stupid." I turned to see her and was amused rather than offended by her manner of addressing that called my attention to a bunch of contraptions in the driveway. I picked up a toy house with little block people and informed myself that I was dreaming.

This time, I felt like I could hold onto that knowledge and just wanted to observe things. With the realization, I was suddenly inside a high rise apartment, its layout the same as the one where I moved after my divorce. I determined that I wanted to fly, thinking that it had been a long time since I flew in a dream. I flew around inside the apartment though I had a large hollow cube strapped to my back.

I noticed there was a sliding glass door that led outside and went there, but when I saw that the view outside was uninviting and featureless with just a blanket of white clouds very far below. I did not want to fly there; I wanted to be able to see the ground, a place where I could land. I backed out away from the glass doors but noticed I was being pulled there, and, in resisting the pull, I woke up.

Dream notes by Maria: Never resist the dream, it is your Inner Self wanting to take you somewhere. Void Space is to be embraced, not feared. Sounds like you ran into one of your Guides out on the driveway!:-) Seriously, I have noted the phenomena that people who are beginning to have lucid dreams (are still in the driveway but slowly pulling out onto the road:-) are aided by Dream Entities who seem to deliberately try and get a rise out of them either by frightening or insulating them. She was getting your attention.*

A toy house with block people is a nice way of portraying waking reality and our physical bodies vs. our spiritual-dream bodies and a realm beyond time, space and solid forms. Obviously.

"This time, I felt like I could hold onto that knowledge and just wanted to observe things."

Excellent! Baby steps. We all initially felt flat on our faces when we began learning to walk, and similarly, we tend to wake almost immediately from our first lucid dreams we get so excited. The next step will feel even more steady and the dream may last longer, especially if you don't resist it.

"With the realization, I was suddenly inside a high rise apartment, its layout the same as the one where I moved after the divorce."

This is very significant. You moved to a higher level of the dream space. And some part of you you have been divorced from is seeking to reunite with you. "I determined that I wanted to fly, thinking that it had been a long time since I flew in a dream." This part of you that deep down knows how to lucid dream. Or so it strikes me.

"when I saw that the view outside was uninviting and featureless with just a blanket of white clouds very far below. I did not want to fly there; I wanted to be able to see the ground, a place where I could land."

This is what lucid dreamers call Void Space. It is a place between dream scenes. For me it resembles a blue-gray-black starry space like being in the "middle" of the universe that is endless. It's where I find myself when the dream is taking me somewhere. You need not fear it. I know I did fear it the first time, and I called out to Hapuseneb (I was writing Truth*at the time) and immediately a hand grasped mine and then I felt a man take me in his arms and we "traveled" through absolute darkness together as I saw a series of scenes, fully formed, pass by before waking; I never "landed" in one. Next time I encourage you to let the dream take you and show you what it wants you to see. The Dream is a mystery but I do believe it is allied to our most Inner Self.*

dream archive October, 2013

I walked up a flight of stairs knowing I was a character in a sitcom arriving at a new apartment. At the top of the flight of stairs, I could see inside and could tell it was a very nice apartment with large windows facing trees and with a large dining room table close to the door. I reached in my pocket for the key, and when I looked at it I saw that it was my real house key. At that moment, when I remembered my waking life home, it dawned on me that I was dreaming! I quickly looked at my hands excitedly and went into the apartment thinking 'this is so awesome!!..to be awake while my body is asleep!'

But I wasn't used to being aware of myself in a dream, and I started to worry that in this dream world I was a sitcom character but didn't know anything about the character, because I was only aware of my waking self now. I was worried about how I would play the correct role with the other characters. I walked into a room where there was a baby sitter with a child and I had to make like I knew them, and I think in this worrying about playing the correct role for the sitcom I lost awareness of being dreaming.

The dream became so ordinary that by the time I woke up I wondered if I had really had a lucid dream or whether I had just dreamed about having a lucid dream. But that brief sense of being conscious while dreaming felt so memorable and striking that I felt that it well could be a baby step in dreaming lucidly.

Dream Notes: Something illuminating for me was that in the dream I was supposed to be a certain character, in a sitcom, and after I became aware that it was a dream character, I believed that I was still supposed to fit into that role rather than act as a character with a meta-awareness of a reality outside the dream. Identifying with the dream character and with trying to play the correct role led to a loss of that meta-awareness. This is I think too what can happen in life, identifying, naturally, with being a certain character, with a certain role, which may likewise be a dream character, a dream role and there is a mysterious meta-awareness beyond these dream roles of which we only have inklings. I think the startling sense of waking in a dream instills that sense or premonition that this is true and dislodges the sense of self as being a certain character with a set of well-defined, finite traits and corporeal boundaries. It dislodges the lingering notion that logic holds the key to ultimate knowledge.

dream archive May, 2013

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Realizing I had lost my backpack, I phoned the train station where I had been to ask if it had been found. I had been losing then finding many things. I spoke to an Indian woman at the station who said that she had the pack. She tried to give me directions for reaching the lost and found building, but they were complicated, and I got sidetracked in having a nice talk with her, as she was very friendly.

When I reached the train at the summit of Arlington heights (where no trains run in waking life), I boarded what I thought was an outbound train that would take me to the next stop, where I needed to go to retrieve the pack. I told the woman, "I still don't know how to get there, but I'll call you when I reach the station." But then I learned from someone in the train that this was an inbound train so I quickly jumped off. On doing so, I realized that my dog, Cookie, was still in the train. He was comfortably seated, cutely staring straight ahead like one of the passengers. I rushed to try to stop the train, enlisting the help of some bystanders who linked together to try to pull the moving train to a stop. To no avail. I saw some police on the platform standing around reading newspapers and yelled to them, "You're supposed to be policing!" The dream ended with me knowing that the lost and found and lost would continue.

Dream Note: The pack, needing to be found at an outbound station seemed to represent worldly plans, an outer focus on activities and others; the dog representing not just the physical aspects of the self but an inward moving preoccupation with them, on an inbound train.

dream archive 2/2/2012

An elevator I was in with others seemed to be, based on the view out the window, somewhere in the stratosphere. Suddenly, it apparently begun plummeting at an alarming speed toward what would be a lethal crash landing. Yet I remained calm and told a woman beside me, "Don't worry..." Pointing at the 'window' I added, "That's not a window; it's a movie." The plummeting was only apparently happening because of the upwardly moving swiftly passing 'scene'. As I said this, the view out the 'window' changed to a landscape passing below serenely, as though from a plane, horizontally.

dream archive 12/19/2011

I was in a classroom being led by my high school visual art teacher. She gave us a drawing assignment for our sketchbooks to complete by the end of the week. I flipped through my sketchbook and found that I had not completed the previous two drawing assignments. I felt that I couldn't even start the third assignment until I had completed the previous two so I because drawing frantically with dark pencils and charcoal.

In the first assignment I needed to draw a Christamas tree and the second assignment had something to do with an outdoor landscape. I cannot remember what the third assignment was.

In my first dream I was at my house with my brother eating brownies from boxes that were in a fridge. Than he was visited by a lady who was going to interview him for a summer youth program. She told him he knew his history well and other stuff. I didn't want to be a distraction so I left the house. But out of no where appeared a mini skeleton monster. I fought it and when i won, i went back into my house. I was shocked to see my mom laying on the floor. she told me when i was almost done with college i would develop altimeters. I asked her why she would say that and she said it was a good thing because I wont have to deal with stress or anything. After that I appeared at a school classroom where teachers were gathered. One of my old teachers from high school was reminding the teachers of a time when i told her i couldn't do a assignment cause my mom got in a car accident. I shouted out loud and said i don't recall saying that. Then when everyone left i went up to the teacher and told her. She was surprised and asked why i lied. I said i don't know maybe i was insecure at the time. I left the classroom since it was time to go and saw there were lots of people gathered around. They were going to surprise the bride and groom but they were no where to be found. so we went searching for them and ended up in a huge school again. We checked the balcony first but than i wanted to leave so i exited the door and woke up.

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In my second dream i was at a store and there was a dc annoying me. I think i hit it in the dream and ended up turning into adventure time character Finn. When i left the scene i appeared on my bed and it was lunch time. My sister brought a pizza box and KFC chicken. It looked really good and i waited for her to call me but when i got back everyone was eating and she said she forgot about me. I went to another room so disappointed that i wanted to cry but that would be childish. I went upstairs and my sister told me to call someone for her so i took a white phone i found and saw on the screen people messaging. The message sent read "the message was sent to a boy"It also said that they were going to find me. I ignored the message than walked to a room with my mom and saw out the window a boy was trying to jump down from the little house shed in my backyard. I stuck out my tongue at the boy because i thought he was trying to rob my family. My dog max was there and i thought he would bite him. I told my mom but than i saw he was playing with my dog. After a few seconds though my dog bit his shoulder and he was bleeding. He jumped on the shed and took off his shirt. He was bleeding but healed himself quickly. When my mom saw what happened she jumped out the window, turned into the dc from the sewer dream and tried to console him. I was shocked and went outside too. I asked why he was here and another dc came out of no where and said he was my brother's friend. That my brother gave him my phone number. I was like oh, than saw he was trying to attack me. I held him tight so he couldn't move and out of no where cartoon anime characters appeared and wanted to help me fight the dc. I said okay, transformed and used a snow cube that unleashed lots of snow on the city. It was suddenly night and i flew down to the city where it was snowy and i saw Santa. People were trying to get snow out of there cars and singing how they wished for god to stop the snow season at that time. Than i woke up.

I was in Concord, and it was getting late. I could not get back home on my bike before dark. I went to a place that looked like an airport office to ask for help. "Can you help me get back home." The woman behind the desk shuffled some papers and said, "It says here you're from the U.K." Just then, an angry man came up and told her that she shouldn't help me. I became mad and told him, "This is my dream. Get out of my dream!' Then he and the whole dream dissolved. There was a woman talking a lot, and I kissed her, but she did not respond, and I left. I was in a room observing through the glass a creature with a huge head and a very tiny body, who was struggling to move around. I felt sorry for the creature, and asked "Who is that?" And I heard someone say, "That's you."

Dream note: I interpreted Concord not as the town in Massachusetts to which I have sometimes biked but rather a pun from my psyche on the word "Conquered." The play on words I felt was about trying to get out of being conquered by despair, fear, a sense of resignation, or other negative emotions. I took heart in hearing that I was from the U.K. because, again, I knew that this was not referring to the political state, but was referring to a state of being, of a united mind, body, soul and spirit. The dream suggested that in life I was trying to get back to that state but was still heavily lopsided toward the mind.

dream archive 11/11

In this dream, I told mom, "Don't worry, the important files are not stored on the hard drive, they are on the server." I was not speaking of the computer troubles she had in waking life but making a metaphysical statement: about the demise of the body, the brain, being like the demise of the hard drive, but our memories, our love, our souls, are storied in the "Server"…

dream archive 1/11

I was in a monotonous place, maybe a zoo, and I saw Emily, and it felt great because she brought playfulness into an otherwise dreary dream. I started to play tag with her, trying to get a picture. When I got close enough for a shot, she turned around, and I saw that she had turned into Azita, smiling, not an ordinary smile, a smile like the sun, with rays made not of light but rather of delight. We had been friends for almost 25 years now, and I was thinking, 'do the struggles of life dim delight and dry up joy?' No, the dream seemed to emphatically say with a smile as bright as solar rays.

dream archive 12/2010

Me and several others were being washed out to sea. Drowning was imminent. I yelled to have us all hold hands, including an oriental woman whom I loved. Suddenly, there appeared silver bars, ladders and stairs such as are found at the edge of pools, for climbing out of the pools. I asked, "What are these doing in the ocean? This is not a pool!" As we walked up and out, someone said to me, "Next to love, the ocean is a little pool."

dream archive, 1992