Recent DJ Posts

3rd July 2021

Fragment:

(long dreams, recall was good at first, but didn't make enough of an effort to start noting them down)

Some kind of RPG shooter, maybe a mix of Borderlands and something else, in which I'm helping two other people with a boss. I change to the highest difficulty and also to my best character, on the fly. I become aware that the gear drops will now possibly come with requirements the other players I'm helping won't be able to meet, but I consider that it really shouldn't matter in the long run and should actually be beneficial. It's a small and kind of dark room, can't remember much else about the location.

(recall faded too much) I'm in a dropship of some kind and I'm next to a tank-like vehicle. We're dropping into a small combat zone, feels like some kind of last-effort push kind of thing? The tank feels like the DRG 'dozer in terms of shape, but bigger, wider. More like a SC Fatboy, but smaller in overall scale.

Some bit later in a sea rig, also with the dropship or the tank, some family there too?

---

4th July 2021

Fragment:

Some bit about WoW. At first I'm playing a warrior and I have a huge two-handed weapon, looks very much like Sul'Thraze, but although my character isn't one, the attack animations are that of a troll character.

It's an unfamiliar and novel area, completely original to the dream as far as I can recall. There's some bit later on, taking place on a small natural incline, grassy and a bit rocky. The colours are all very muted and towards purple hues all the way throughout, there are a few stone ruins. At this last point I'm playing an underleveled warlock and trying to help in a high level group fight.

---

Notes:
- Before bed on the first night, I read the Dreamgates parts in the centre of the book about creativity and read the exercise there again too also while in bed.
-- I have really enjoyed this part so far and it has been motivating to read and re-read it, especially since I feel I've been accomplishing so little lately.

- The WoW dream was mostly residue of actual feelings while playing the game, but the troll thing felt a bit different, perhaps because WoW trolls have this tribal aspect associated to them and because of Dreamgates making me think about Shaman-related things

- Not sure if I've ever had a dream take place in a sea rig before, but possibly.

2nd July 2021

Fragment:

In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think.

There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme.

(recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing.

The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town.

(recall gap)

I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen.

I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule.

And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now.

---

Notes:
- Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind.
-- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough.

- Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic.
-- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long.

- Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly.
-- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style).

- When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me.
-- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.

The guiding lights
25/06/20
Lucid# 5 - DILD

I’m walking along a large, open courtyard surrounded by grass. There are people all around and walking past me. I then notice a woman who catches my eye. I’m not sure if it’s her that makes me become lucid but the next thing I remember I’m aware I’m dreaming.
Things feel a little unstable though and I worry I will wake up so I decide to take it slow and look around to make sure it really is a dream.

The scene has turned to night now and I’m on the grass. I look left and right and admire the detail and realism of the grass. I then see small lights dotted in two lines in front of me like a runway. It’s clear I am to follow them and I start moving towards them. Things feel eerily quiet now, all the people have disappeared and once again I feel that sensation that something powerful is present and guiding me. I look to the dark sky and yell “Unconsciousness?!” Playing with the idea that he is behind this. He doesn’t respond and the dream begins to fade, fade, fade and goes grey. “Damn I’ve lost it” I think to myself and expect to wake up but I don’t… (To be continued)

Waking Notes:

Stability: Low
Control: Low
Clarity: Medium
Awareness: Medium
Length: Low

Trigger: Spontaneous
Reality check: None
Length: 1 minute (approx.)
Goals: none
Techniques: WBTB
Time: 6 - 7am
Lucid count: 5

Meeting with the dream guide
25/06/20
Lucid #6 - DEILD/ WILD

Everything goes black and I’m left consciously aware in a dark void. I know I’m still asleep and begin to hear a strange electronic sound? “zwoo, zwoo, zwoo” it goes in iterations like a muffled, vibrating machine. I feel like it’s the sound of my mind buffering and even see a swirling circle in the distance like a Mac loading symbol. There is a moment of fear as I wonder if I’m trapped here but I remain calm and know a dream is coming. Sure enough I begin to feel that rushing sensation I felt last time. “Here we go!” I tell myself with excitement. I then feel my consciousness sucked downwards, really fast like I’m been pulled into a black hole and I hear a loud, screeching sound as if I’m a jet flying. “Whooooa!” I yell but not in fear but in exhilaration at the sensation. I then see ghost like shapes forming and swirling in front of me and know the dream is about to form.

I start to picture where I want to go and what I want to do. I remember I wanted to fly through the clouds like the birds I saw last night. I wonder if I could embody a bird as well but then consider that may be too advanced. I begin to see the clouds forming below me with a pink, sunset light. I reach out and try to imagine what the clouds would feel like to make it solidify. I think it’s working but then things become fuzzy and instead of flying through the clouds I appear in an old wooden house that seems devoid of furniture. I have a body again and have entered a dream.

I move through the empty room and come out on top of some old creaky wooden stairs. I remember I was trying to speak to my unconsciousness in my last dream and look up for the sky but of course there is no sky only the ceiling. I see a window to the right and know I need to get outside and talk to the sky like I had done before. I may not have much time so I hurry down the stairs hoping to find a way out of the house. the room below is similar, the walls are wooden and the room looks abandoned and decaying.

I’m then distracted as I remember one of my dream goals. To speak to a dream guide. I turn to the wall and say to myself with great excitement, “When I turn around I will see my dream guide” I say this twice and hope it works. I’m a little nervous to turn around though and hope I haven’t manifested something scary. I turn around and to my delight a man is stood there smiling at the other end of the room. It worked! I try to focus and wonder if he looks like the wise old master I pictured he would. He doesn’t, not at all. He is a 30 something year old man with a hard face and a shaved head. He is wearing a white vest and jeans and looks a bit like a thug. “You!?” I say now feeling like I recognise the man from an earlier dream. “Yeah” he says with an accent, possibly Brooklyn? I walk up to him in disbelief and I’m a little disappointed and wonder if this is just a random dream character super imposed as a guide. I ask him anyway what I wanted to ask “How do I get better at lucid dreaming?” He smiles and looks away with a shake of his head as if he gets asked that all the time and it’s a pointless question. “Look, you don’t need to ring that bell anymore” he says in his pally yet gruff, tough guy voice. I don’t know quite what he means but take it as he’s saying I don’t need to ask anymore as I already know the answer.

We walk together into another room to the left. It has the same decaying interior and wooden walls but some furniture is scattered about and a fire place is at the front of the room and a window to my left. “What do you mean?” I ask him again. He shrugs and can’t seem to find a way to explain it to me. “I don’t know, you just don’t need to do that anymore” he says just as vague. “Yes but what do you mean?” I ask hoping he will be clearer, he just smiles.

I then register there is loud music playing in the room and other people are around me. I look to my right and see two people dancing in a silly way. One is on a unicycle and has a big umbrella and a top hat. “Don’t look at them, they’re trying to distract you” the guide says. I quickly turn back to him thinking the dream is trying to snap me out of lucidity. I remember my mission and now crouch down and grab a small wooden stool and place it in front of me and begin to feel the smooth polished top. I knod at the guide as if saying “I got ya” and know I have to keep interacting with the dream physically for it to stay stable.

Im ready to listen to him again and notice another man has joined us as well. Another guide perhaps? I can’t remember getting a good look at him. They’re both here to advise me but I’m distracted and start feeling a thick carpet below me. I rub my hand through it and can feel every thick clump of carpet rub against my fingers. It’s all so real but I notice there is some sort of frame disrupting my vision slightly. I think it may be my glasses and so I take them off. It was glasses and I hold my pair in my hand. Everything is now even clearer and I admire how real it all is. It feels so stable as well as if I could stay here for hours.

I then remember I wanted to try dream food and decide to manifest something. I close my hand and look away, I shut my eyes and say “when I look back at my hand I will see a piece of cheese”. I open my eyes but now my vision has blurred as if there’s mud in my eyes. I realise it’s because I shut my eyes and feel stupid now for doing so. I look at my hand and there’s no cheese either! I look away again and repeat the same but keep my eyes open this time. I look back and there’s still no cheese. My dream guides look at each other and snigger as if saying “Newbie!” The dream then fades and ends.

I awake again in darkness and wonder if another dream is coming. I can hear the electronic noise again in my ears, “zwoo, zwoo, zwoo” and think I must be dreaming still. I try to move my fingers to find out if I’m awake and I manage to move them and now open my eyes. I appear to be awake in bed but I can still hear the noise? I wonder if this is a realistic false awakening but then I realise the noise is coming from my bedside fan and as I focus on the sound it fades into a regular fan whirling sound. I am awake.

Analysis:
wowza! So a DILD and a DEILD! I think the first lucid may have been spontaneous but was rather short. Those lights were interesting. They were similar to the arrow I once saw in another Lucid but this time I followed it. Again I played with the idea that my unconsciousness was there and leading me somewhere.

When the dream faded I thought I’d blown it but then came the void. That was maybe the most interesting part. As it turned out the weird noise I was hearing was just the fan by the side of my bed but at the time it felt like I was hearing some noise from deep within my mind. Of course it wasn’t but it helped me stay aware as an anchor and lead me into a seamless DEILD. Once again I was sucked into the dream. It’s a strange sensation as if been pulled at light speed into another dimension. I then stayed completely aware and tried to form a dream of my choice. I was watching a flock of birds fly over my house before bed and came up with the idea of embodying a bird and flying through the clouds so I tried to make that happen and I feel I was close but then it all changed and I was in that random wooden house. I can remember the space so well as if it is a real location I have visited.

I was happy to remember to ask for a dream guide and it worked, I got one! He wasn’t at all what I was expecting but it was fun and surreal to meet him. I recognised him and was sure he was in a previous dream earlier on in the night that I don’t remember now. He seemed so real and had a personality but like all dream characters was vague and spoke in riddles as well. “You don’t have to ring that bell anymore” I didn’t understand this at the time but it seemed like a figure of speech. I think he was trying to tell me you don’t need to know how to get better at lucid dreaming, you know how, you’re doing it! I guess it was quite encouraging and the answer I needed upon waking.

Then there was that moment with the distracting dancers. He told me not to look at them. He was giving me real advice and it was as if he knew this dream world well and was helping me. It Was very surreal. The moment I took my glasses off was amazing as well. The clarity and vividness was unbelievable! Then I ruined it by trying the food thing and shutting my eyes! That was the moment I killed the dream and it all disappeared quickly after that. It Was a shame and I’m yet to try dream food! What a great experience though. I really need to master these DEILDs.

Waking Notes:

Stability: High
Control: Medium
Clarity: High
Awareness: High
Length: Medium

Trigger: Dream exit
Reality check: None
Length: 3-5 minutes (approx.)
Goals: Summon a dream guide
Techniques: DEILD, Sound Anchor
Time: 6 - 7:30am
Lucid count: 6