• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. ccciii. Train escort duty

      by , 07-15-2021 at 06:43 PM
      15th July 2021

      Fragment:


      (recall going from later to earliest bit)

      I'm walking with a group of people, one of them is JC from school. He's older, but otherwise looks how he used to, mostly. We're escorting a mech, a train of sorts which is depositing rails in front of itself as it goes? I've just been paid for half of my service on our current mission. I was given two glittering golden rocks (the "gold" doesn't quite look like actual gold but in the dream I don't become aware of this). One of them is not covered in this glittering gold.

      The one that is completely covered in glittery gold, I hold in my right hand and crush as we walk. I see on the top right of my vision an interface element that displays that I was credited with 40 million credits. JC tells me the company actually recommends against doing this, especially without having finished the mission yet. I tell him "I don't care, my inventory is too full" and I think about how the group doesn't seem keen on waiting for me to sort this out, as evidenced by the fact that we're on the move.

      (just before this)

      I'm with JC wrapped in a sort of throw, it's grey and white. (I think like one I have at home in waking life) There's a very serious Covid context, though I'm not worried about it. R, also from school around the same time as JC, is not too far from us, she's some sort of inventory or cataloguing person? She's wearing a labcoat, which when I first see her makes me do a RC by counting the fingers on my right hand, though my RC fails to pass, for one thing because the count was correct and for another because I didn't question it further because of the social situation.

      Me and JC are a distance away just sitting here basically. R tells us that we have to wait for this shipment of cloth or something. I think I check the order details myself, either on an interface element or some nearby physical interface. Unfortunately, we still reach the conclusion that this is the best option. I was considering trying to change the order to something else that would still be suitable but delivered quicker. Any other option is noted to have an even longer lead time on production.

      R chit chats, saying she's surprised that "you two idiots are still around", as if she expected to never see us again in life. I tell her in jest "dad always says there are always idiots around; I guess that happens to be here" or something to this effect. She's amused in some way but still thinks the same of us, I don't find myself thinking about it much further one way or another. Me and JC sort of become melded with each other as we're sat here, waiting in the bundled throw. R is very strict about viral control, but I don't recall in what way. She partly looks like an Asian woman in her thirties more so than herself really (probably a dream attempt at making her appear a more chronologically correct age).

      Then there's a drone of some kind. It's scanning the local area and I ask R about it, "is it a geological survey drone?" but she doesn't reply, not ignoring me, but as if I never said anything. I get up and follow the drone around for a bit, the view swaps from first to third person and back again a few times. I follow it to a site not too far, a beach of some kind and it goes into a receptacle that changes shape mechanically, as it receives the drone. Then, from the sea a train sort of surfaces from the water, it all looks very Japanese "Mecha" style. (This is where the first bit of recall started)

      (there was more recall from earlier parts but they faded and other details were lost, it was a long dream)



      Notes:


      - This is the most recent time I've actually done a reality check whilst dreaming, which goes beyond just thinking about it, but because of the social context at hand I became distracted far too easily from really questioning reality. Even so, with the previous DJ entry, that's two times recently compared to not very often, if at all, in the last months.
      -- I am realising now that this may be an issue with my artificial dream sign, by its nature it's more likely to include a distracting social context. I should think further on this. In addition to that, I think it's ironic on some level I decided to do a hand RC when it isn't necessarily my preferred way of checking anymore. If I could go back into this dream and change my approach, I would instead have stopped and thought about what I was doing and where I was; after all, how could I be meeting people I knew years ago but haven't seen since, for no reason at all? Not just one of them, but two of them at the same time, along with other suspicious dream qualities.

      - The dream had a bit of a feel of MHW and Dark Souls there at the end.

      - There was something "desaturated" about all of the dream's location. Like there was a faintly yellow mist and there was no sky to speak of exactly, just this mist. No memory of shadows really, defined or undefined.
    2. ccxcv. Creating a quest, working on a comic

      by , 07-04-2021 at 09:44 PM
      2nd July 2021

      Fragment:

      In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think.

      There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme.

      (recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing.

      The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen.

      I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule.

      And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now.



      Notes:
      - Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind.
      -- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough.

      - Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic.
      -- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long.

      - Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly.
      -- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style).

      - When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me.
      -- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.
    3. 30 May: Making a train fly, my dog is kidnapped

      by , 05-30-2021 at 04:42 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Some dream in which I was lucid but passively reacting and at some point I turn to my DCs and ask what should I do with my lucidity and because we are near some rail tracks and trains, someone suggests making a train fly. I find it interesting as I never did any such thing so I make a train fly, but it goes horribly wrong and crashes some 100 mt ahead. There is a fire and victims and the blame goes all to the poor train conductor. So then I and my DC friends try to help the conductor escape the scene and avoid a public lynching. We decide to hide her in a wooden box that is on the ground near some construction materials and take her away inside it. But the box is incomplete so I use my powers to duplicate the wood panels and finish the box. As I do it, I am surprised by how perfectly I can clone wooden planks and other materials but failed keeping the train flying.

      I am at some foreign country with my dog Hachi. I need to take a train and have no clue if dogs are allowed on the train so I take my chances. Then mid travel I see the ticket inspector coming and remember I forgot to buy a ticket to myself. As I go through a slight panic, some nice eastern European dude seems to want to help me by holding Hachi's leash, while I look for my purse for money, to try to pay my ticket now. The trains stops at some station and the inspector is gone, so I am relieved, but turn around and so is Hachi. I look for the guy and see him near the door, but he is not holding Hachi anymore. I go after him yelling and he points to a lady sitting some rows behind me and says she has the dog. Then he leaves. I run to the lady, but she is holding some puppy, not Hachi. I tell her he is not my dog and she says something like "so what? keep the puppy". I am mad and panicky because the guys who kidnapped Hachi got out of the train, which started moving again and I feel like I might never see him again.
    4. 29 May - False lucid and real lucid

      by , 05-30-2021 at 03:04 PM
      comment dream lucid

      Thinking a lot about dreaming before falling asleep.

      Ramp
      Driving a motorbike off a ramp, jumping into the air. It was supposed to test something, maybe how someone got killed. Beaches all around and low tide.

      Walk with V
      With V in the forest, talking about how often I go out. I told him I help my family walking their dog.

      Hair
      I was talking with someone about which hairstyle I would like.

      False lucid
      I was walking down a path, playing some game. I think I did it for a second time and in an opposite direction, but that was just a vague memory. The rules were that you had to be lucid and do various tasks.
      There was a corner of a rock where the path led along a narrow ledge and I met a boy and a girl there. I offered the girl if she wanted to sit with me for a while and we crawled into this grassy alcove, letting the boy pass.
      I asked her what her name was and she told me her name. I told her I was Indigo. I asked how it was going so far and she said good, but she actually wanted to go so she wouldn't waste her time. So we said goodbye.
      It occurred to me that I've been lucid for a long time, that I've never had a LD this long, like 2 hours. But good for me - long LD = better chance of winning for me, while others have to do it in parts.
      I checked the paper with the tasks and it said to rubb our hands, so I did it, even though I thought I didn't need to, but I saw the organizer in front of me, so I wanted to get points.
      Then I saw more organizers around the corner and there was a fridge and I climbed on it and rearranged some food. I suddenly knew they were evil and decided to confront them - I told them I knew who they were and that they were serving the dark lord. They had a gun. I said they could kill me, but I had a plan to escape by waking up
      I closed my eyes and opened them and nothing, I was still there. That surprised me. I tried again and failed again. I remembered the reddit poll "can you wake up from a LD" and my answer "yes, reliably". That's what I get for that.
      I tried blinking really fast again, but it didn't work.
      Then I was in this labyrinth of big metal cabinets. I felt like I'd been lucid for an awfully long time, hours. I asked the organizers what they had done to my body in reality, that I was still asleep. They grinned, which worried me. Maybe I'm in a coma or something. But maybe not, and I have to wake up sometime. I figured there was probably a purpose for me there, something I needed to do. Somehow save everything and defeat them.
      I had this stick in my hand with some roots on the end. I've been poking around under the cupboards with it, seeing if there's some object that will allow me to save everything. I must have a reason to have that stick for...
      I felt myself waking up, and I thought "finally".

      I knew instantly that I was waking up from a false lucid.

      I logged keywords for the dream because I really liked it and wanted to remember.
      I felt confident that there could be a LD after this. I reiterated the intention to lucid dream. It took me some time to fall asleep again.

      Train to Birmingham
      I was at the station and it was about trains. Z said there was a train leaving for Birmingham and she was going to take it. I said that the train to Birmingham was useless to me, that we usually go via Manchester, and she was surprised.
      I walked with her on the way to the trains and there was the time and the Birmingham sign by the steps to the platform and it was flashing as if the train was about to leave. I hesitated for a moment but let it go, it wouldn't do me any good.
      I went back to the main concourse to look at the departures board to see what else was coming. The board was just changing.
      That's all I remember - the next was probably the transition into the false awakening.

      Real lucid - Meeting my dream guide
      I woke up in our bedroom and immediately suspected it was a FA. But as soon as I realized it, my vision got worse and I could only see two blurs. I was afraid I was going to wake up, but I knew I was still in a dream. It occurred to me to start picturing a deck chair and a beach or something, as what people do when they have sleep paralysis.
      Suddenly something disturbed me and I opened my eyes and I was awake and it was still a FA. Yes!
      I sat on the bed and R was awake next to me and there was also J. I knew I could ignore them, but I wanted to make them disappear with a snap of my fingers like in the daydream rehearsal, so I tried, but it didn't work, which I guess amused them a little.
      I started looking at what was the same in the room and what was different. Almost everything looked the same to me. There were these shelves and these pictures. I noticed that the frames of the pictures were a different color than they were IRL (actually, almost everything was different and we had no pictures or shelves IRL).
      There was also a wall cabinet with a brown fabric curtain and I had the feeling that something green was peeking out - an iguana. I went to look, but my cat came out.
      Goals! Verbal commands and then meeting my dream guide. I try "Clarity now!" but the dream already has great clarity, so what can improve? On the contrary, it gets slightly worse. But only for a moment. I leave the room and try "Increase lucidity", but nothing noticeable happens. I see a green jacket on the rack and I try to make it disappear. Might be easier than with humans. But nothing. I try again and the whole hallway to the living room disappears in a blur.
      I use the door to the second bedroom and walk into a large room that looks like a gym. There are mats, exercise equipment, and large windows facing the city street.
      I try to do a somersault on the mat, but I stop halfway through and just roll. The movement feels realistic.
      Goals! I walk across the room and shout "Dream, dream, give me my dream guide".
      I turn around and there's a curtain to the left of the windows (probably a mini room with more equipment) and my guide comes out from behind the curtain. She's a black woman, in her fifties, maybe early sixties (probably not, her hair is still dark brown/black and not grey), curvy but not obese, with big boobs. I met her once before in a daydream and she was an old white woman but I know it’s her.
      I said, "You've been here the whole time." She nods.
      We go and sit down on the leather upholstered couch that's appeared there for us. I said I didn't know how much time we had, or maybe she asked, either way, I knew she wanted and needed to know.
      I replied, "I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't come straight here. But I tried not to linger too long."She nods.
      I asked: "Will you teach me something?" She smiled.

      I started to wake up. Maybe she wanted to teach me DEILD? But more likely I was too excited
    5. cclxvi. Surreal cliffs and old friends, Queen's tour through the subway

      by , 05-14-2021 at 04:54 PM
      10th May 2021

      Dream:

      I'm on some cliff-top in a surrealist environment. There are many cliffs which are mostly straight up vertical and the height of mountains and the cliff I'm on is the same. There's a blue (cyan tinge?) but desaturated sky. I fall down to a lower rock platform on the side of the cliff but then I use drilling tools like the ones from DRG, quickly making my way back up through the rock. I make a guess as to where I'm going (based on some environmental factor?) and there are some parts where there are large swiss-cheese-like holes and openings in the cliff that I avoid.

      I then find and head inside some structure which has some hallways within. There's a clay-like tone to this structure? There are also some window openings in the walls but they are sort of perfectly squared off and have no glass or frame, but I don't recall wind or anything of the sort. There may be some lights inside the structure but I'm not sure. Then, there's a counter just by a hallway corner.

      On this counter-top, I place two kitchen knives. One is like our metal bread knife and the other is like one of the coloured knives, about the same depth, so probably the magenta one? Some dream characters appear behind me and they seem to be passing by, but other characters are just idling around. I interact with the passer-bys and they ask me casual questions, which I answer. They fit into the archetype of some of my black friends from school, but they are not these friends specifically. We just know each other in the same way.

      Then I move away from the counter. Someone shows up, I think AM (mom's friend L's daughter) But her skin is not as pale white as I recall it (don't notice this specifically in the dream?), her hair is darker and more like mine and she's a bit chubby. I say something about waiting "fourty years for my wife" and think about how different she looks. She sits and reclines on top of the same counter from before, her feet are bare.

      11th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about being with a big group, in a subway. Queen Elizabeth II is with us and is a part of our group. We board a train (looks like L subway) and the passengers who are already inside are staring and openly voice that they can't believe that it's actually the queen. She takes a seat and I sit beside her. I talk to her and tell her some story from my life, from years ago. She doesn't reply to anything I say and I interrupt myself remarking "you've probably heard it all before I suppose", realising that she is just that much older than me and must have heard and known the life stories of hundreds or thousands of people.



      Notes:

      - The night before the 10th, I was practising anatomy drawing and there was a woman in a reference image that fit the same typical appearance as what AM appeared like in the dream.

      - In the fragment's dreaming context we were on some kind of tour and the subway was a connecting point to get to somewhere else.

      - When I woke up, I think I had lingering feelings and found myself surprised at the dream passengers' shock for seeing the queen. In the dream the whole context felt absolutely normal and day-to-day.

      - I don't think I've dreamt of Elizabeth II before. In the dream she was much like my paternal grandmother in some respects, possibly even physically, but as a character she seemed tired, worn out.
      -- This probably comes partly as a result of having heard of the prince's passing but also a general curiosity about old age, partly mixed with my own feelings about how it must be very wearing to lead a life that is meant only for duty.
    6. Freaky subway nightmare | [11.05.2021]

      by , 05-12-2021 at 02:58 AM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Freaky subway nightmare
      I remember that the situation is like playing a video game again, although this time I feel like I am forced to play, despite my fear of seeing some gruesome image within it. Then I am in the game, physically, and it's regarded as real. There's something about being underground. There's something I don't remember, then I am in a sort of train with people, and I sort of have to save us by getting weird rubbery things on circular parts on a metal box that seems to be central to the function of the train. I notice nobody else is doing anything and that if we don't manage to do this, we will crash with full force into a sort of other chambers, which we are sort of falling into from the top, and to brake we have to get the rubber things on there. I also appear to be some female character relevant to the story, and she might have a name starting with A. I see that nobody else is trying to save us, so I animate them to help. But then, I struggle to do it, so we soon crash. But then suddenly, there's like a second try, so this time, the same things happen, except that this time, I manage to get most of the rubber things on. I think we will die again, but this time, the train brakes and stops in the chamber with no one hurt.



      This might not seem freaky, but there's some sort of deep fear associated with this gruesome image. There were some past dreams that were so horrible that I've supressed them, with a much stronger version of this fear associated with it that are still horrible to think about today. Not sure where this fear comes from, but I probably don't want to know, to be honest.
    7. cclviii. Train transit hub, Missing pasta

      by , 04-27-2021 at 10:57 AM
      24th April 2021

      Fragment:

      In a train station hub or maybe it's a subway. It's a vast place, made mostly out of concrete as far as I can remember. Either way, it's busy. I remember daylight shining through in places and I am walking in a tunnel of sorts with someone, maybe JoCo.

      Fragment:

      I'm in the kitchen, looking in the cupboard with the tinned and packaged food, I think? I notice some tortellini packs are missing most of the tortellini and they look vacuum packed. Some have like three or four bits of pasta at most and that's it. I feel annoyed that I somehow missed this detail at the shop and feel it'll be annoying to have to return these. I think to myself something like "they clearly aren't fit for having a full meal like this".

      Note:

      - Later the same day I think, I was talking to H about the second fragment and it was pointed out to me that the tortellini is always vacuum packed. I had not consciously realised this until that point.
    8. 15 Apr: TV program and documentary at the cinema

      by , 04-15-2021 at 09:35 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Watching tv with other people. Some famous reporter, sided by two other tv personalities are sitting behind a table, in what appears to be a hotel room, decorated with antique tiles and vintage wallpaper. But something is weird and I realize they are balancing to the sides at a certain cadence. I say they seem to be on a train and indeed they explain they are doing a special emission from an old train. They show a little bit more of their surroundings and then announce some guest who comes in from another wagon. I say the train should be called the lusitano express as in orient express but from Portugal.
      I go to the toilet and then go with dad to some movie festival. The film we go see is playing at a small cinema in a mall. My dad acts weird when we get there and then he whispers that I have peed my pants. I feel embarrassed, but hide it with my shoulder bag. So I go all the way down to the basement, where the restrooms are. I clean up the best I can and then we go watch the movie. It's a documentary about this poor simple man with some mental problems who is a good christian and does nice things. But then it shifts and he is acting strange, gathering certain items secretly. Then he goes into some neighborhood with buildings that look like my mom's apartment building,but a bit more recent and upgraded. We don't understand what he is doing until flames erupt around the base of a couple buildings and he runs away. Some people in the buildings notice the flames or the burnt smell and warn all the residents, who manage to get out. Some are fighting the fire the way they can, with buckets of water, blankets, etc. The firefighters arrive and they control the fire, but there is considerable damage to some apartments, especially on ground floor. Then we notice the residents are all middle eastern refugees and we watch as they start talking to each other, offering support. Some older man learns that a younger man from Syria has been going through difficulties and says he does not eat breakfast as he can't afford all meals. The older man is outraged and says out loud to everyone else that this can't be and that the other man should have asked for their help and they would have helped him have breakfast everyday. It is so heartwarming to see their sense of community in contrast with the hate of the other guy we thought was a good person at first. Then the documentary shifts to scenes from the kind man when he was still in his country. There is a scene in which he improvises a raft to go to a small bank of land in the middle of a river, looking for something in the middle of rubble and trash. Turns out it was a kitty who was crying in pain, looking pretty bad, with burns and lack of hair throughout the body. He rescues her and brings her along. The kitty is now beautiful and pampered. I am about to cry but I hold my tears.
      Then some jerk sitting to my right side, starts complaining out loud about his feet hurting, because of his shoes and he seems annoyed the film didn't end already as he needs some relief. I feel like yelling "just take your shoes off" but I keep calm and ignore. The problem is that random dudes from nearby rows and seats also start making comments about the length of the film and expressing sympathy for the hurt feet guy and it's becoming too disruptive. Fortunately someone shushes most of them. I just need to turn to a guy to my left who says no one has the right to shush him in a free country. I tell him to shut up. Meanwhile the movie ends and lights are back on and the guy seems like he wants to apologize to me, which makes me let down the guard. But then he tries to hug and kiss me as if that's ok and I push him back. He insists on kissing me so I defend myself by making him trip backwards to the ground. But the guy is very tall and his head and neck hit the armrest of a seat and he almost breaks his neck. I feel deeply concerned by his well being but don't show weakness and pretend it was on purpose. I say "that's your punishment and if you don't start respecting women and other people in general, next time I'll really kill you."
    9. Dream shows me why I hear voices in my dreams. Naked on a train.

      by , 03-03-2021 at 08:24 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I've had a really bad recall the past days. Pretty frustrating.

      I'm by Håkanssons' house and I'm vacuum-cleaning the floor in the room to the left of the entrance. John is also cleaning upstairs. A big high tech screen is showing up on the wall and I see a brain hologram in neon green color in darker shades. A voice is telling me that she is going to explain why I hear voices in my dreams. The two brain-halves move apart and I hear a certain frequency (Not certain). She tells me that I can experience sounds because of how the brain-halves move apart and together. The brain-halves move together and stand next to each other but on the wrong sides. There is a new hologram head to the left.

      I'm on a train with dad. I'm wearing a towel but I'm pretty much naked. I look around and see some persons to my right from last year's upper class in nature. They are half naked too. I'm wearing some kind of underwear but I'm feeling exposed either way.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. Dinosaur Park, The Magic Express

      by , 02-24-2021 at 09:13 PM (Oneironautic Escapades)
      2/24/20

      I am in a dinosaur park with friends and family. While walking through a field we see what appears to be a dinosaur trap laid out on the ground, with weighted wires going into the trees, there are toy mini dinosaurs and torn up sheets in the bed of a larger metal frame. We hear kittens meowing from inside but cannot see anything.

      The park is very beautiful with large prehistoric trees and shrubbery all around. My cat is running around unleashed and I gather she has wandered too far. Suddenly a large trex with purple and orange colouring starts chasing us from across the field, it's roar echoing our innards. I call my cat loudly and she runs towards us just barely in front of the rex. She makes it to me while we are running and I scoop her up to run towards the treeline. I tell my family we need to get in the dense folliage to escape. We barely make it to safety as the rex tramples the trees behind us. We begin to walk down a path, we tell a worker about the rex we see, but they are also a dinosaur and smile with big teeth.

      We are now in a period based town. Everyone wears decorated corsets and top hats. But there is still a dark like and partially gothic tone. I opt for a train ride and leave my family behind in the town to look around and shop. The train is mainly populated by witches and druids. They are all dressed period, but with pagan garb and accessories.

      I befriend a girl who is quite short with almond eyes and brunette short hair. She is coy and playful while also being witty and fiercely forward. We get closer and she reminds me she has a boyfriend regularly, it doesn't phase me in the least as I can tell she doesn't care. He seems like some ringleader with small dreads and bright blue contact eyes who is never around her. I gather she is a vampire of sorts, pale skin, morose demeanour yet predatory in her desires. We venture around the train between the different ornate cars from time to time. Taking in the sights of the passing countryside, sharing meals, and playing games. We spend hours laying in bed remembering our lives and gently caressing each other, nothing sexual, just sensually emotive. She tells me she doesn't like what happens to her at night. Unphased at thinking she is a vampire I ask is it because her teeth get longer? I then tell her I always found the taste of blood to be unquenching. To let her know I am unbothered by her condition, and can relate to her. She hardly looks at me but I know she is sad for some reason. We form a strong bond on the trip, perhaps 2 days have elapsed and the journey is coming to a head.

      She sits in a booth table along one of the carriages. There is suddenly a great drama stirring the passengers. The people of the car are now united against me. They threaten me with dark magic. I tell them to do their worst as I am unafraid. At once a dozen of them put out their hands and begin making noises with their mouths like they are casting spells. Nothing happens and I shout they are all made up. The train has stopped at a gift shop town with many rooms to purchase trinkets and accessories. I step out on the platform as the witches are still trying to curse me. I outstretch my hand and shout with strong forward intention "Now That Is Enough!" A bright light flashes engulfing the entire area.

      As the senses return, it seems the dark gothic vibe of the people in the car has been lifted. Some people file out of the train with completely white eyes, they are pale and nude, almost stupified. The dozen or so who were dark are now stripped barren and pale. I ask someone on the platform what just happened. She tells me that they saw their real leader and were blinded by the truth of it. I ask who they saw. She points to the woman standing next to me. Who is middle aged and still wearing period dress. She smiles and looks at me knowingly. I tell her it is up to her to be good now. She nods in approval and promises to guide in positivity instead of darkness.

      I return to the train for the journey back and walk from car to car looking for my companion I spent the trip with. She is no longer in the booth she was sitting in before. I wonder if the darkness lifting has affected her at all. I see her 'boyfriend' sitting off in a corner with some friends. He speaks in normal modern dialect and I gather his curse has been lifted as well, he is no leader and remembers nothing of his previous dark personality. I talk to him briefly and he doesn't recognize me.

      I begin frantically going from carriage to carriage looking for her. She really is nowhere to be seen, I didn't see her get off the train and it doesn't make sense she wouldn't be traveling back. It begins to occur to me I may never see her again. A great grief overcomes me as I slump into the nearest chair, just staring into nothingness while I feel my eyes swell. It can't be I think. I knew she had feelings for me. I felt them. I remember the feeling of her skin. Her smile. The sweet smell of her hair. I sit in silence the entire return journey. People merrily chat around me as the mood is now lighter and people laugh while they tell stories of their adventure. I talk to no one.

      When we arrive at our destination back where we began, everyone unloads and files into a large brightly lit dining hall, it is period decorated and fancy with many carved fixtures in the walls and chandeliers. I see my family come through large ornate glass doors into the hall to join me. I am sullen and depressed from losing my companion. We all sit at a large round table with white linens and fancy gold place settings. They are still dressed in period clothes holding accessories they picked up in their own respective adventure. They ask me what's wrong. I tell them I am exhausted, it was a 2 day train journey and I just don't feel well. They are concerned but allow me my space as I seem disengaged. I sit calmly not facing the stage, my eyes still heavy and glistening as I fight the nostalgia of my time with her.

      Just then a worker walks onto the stage and gets everyone's attention. He thanks all of us for our participation and hopes we all enjoyed our journey on the express adventure. People cheer. He then says he'd like to introduce us to the one who made everything possible. Please give a round of applause everyone to our very own,
      Brand new Model 2 Android!
      People cheer louder and whistles can be heard.
      I turn around to look and see her.
      Out of period dress with a skin tight bodysuit and hair styled even shorter to her head.
      It was her.
      The truth of it hits me like a pile of bricks. I see her eyes avoiding me in the crowd as she glances around the room. Barely smiling she acknowledges the recognition in a sheepish manner. She won't even look at me. I am in complete disbelief. How could I not have known? I stare wantingly but realize everything I knew wasn't even real. The dream fades as I watch her face and the applause becomes quieter and quieter.
    11. ccxxx. Kitchen nightclub, City of all, Stealth ops train

      by , 02-20-2021 at 01:19 PM
      20th February 2021

      Dream:

      Me and H are a nightclub which we own in the dream. It's like an expanded and stripped out version of our kitchen. It's a shady place. Though we don't allow drug dealing, it still happens, some people even talk openly about it in front of us. The lighting is moody; a mauve or red-like ambience. We have just recently installed some kind of small curtain things around these arcade console things lining the walls of the club.

      The place is very busy, packed pretty much. I recall seeing people were playing WoW in some form on these arcades, the curtains were supposed to provide a bit of extra privacy at a glance, but they didn't drape very far down, so someone standing up would mostly have the upper half of the screen blocked from their view.

      Eventually me and H cease to exist and it becomes more like I'm watching something I think. There are still two club owners, now they are a couple too, a tall and muscled man and a woman, somewhat Arabic in look. Both could be from my native country.

      Some person they talk to at one point who is using one of the arcades, reveals something important about gossip that's going around? This person asks the wife if she is wearing the new... whatever it's called in the dream, but it's slang for a skirt-type of clothing which is now considered to be sexy and naughtywear. More stuff happens at the club but I don't recall it.

      (recall gap)

      Then like I'm watching a dramatised documentary of some kind, there's an implicit feel of it being in some place like Jerusalem or Russia. I see backstreet, vacant type of places.

      Small bits of life for people of different religious backgrounds are shown. It's implied that in groups, sometimes people bully single individuals of other groups, despite the fact that this place is supposed to be a place for all to come together. I recall a scene where this Catholic boy is being chased away by some Orthodox teens or something.

      Fragment:

      An earlier dream. In a subway, me and a large organised group of individuals, part of some stealth ops type of thing and with appropriate gear. We are boarding a train and I remember we go through tunnels. Recall is too vague for details though.
    12. ccxvi. Tantrum and health issues, Writing a story, Art site, Octopus Woman

      by , 01-24-2021 at 06:42 PM
      24th January 2021

      Fragment:

      (at the end of a long segment about family)

      Uncle M mentions "Bucaccus"; it is apparently some kind of organ, gland or hormone? He apparently had many issues with it when he was my age and suggested I get it looked at. I remember previously in the dream I had been having some kind of tantrum, throwing things. I apologised to my uncle and someone else there, an old woman?

      Fragment:

      Waiting for a train in a subway station. I'm wearing one of those new and modern drawing gloves on my right hand. I'm writing some kind of story on the palm of that glove on my right hand. I don't make notice of the fact that I was using my left hand to do so.

      The train eventually arrives and I get in; then when I get out somewhere else, I find that my little story has rubbed off completely and is gone and I try to remember what I had written.

      Fragment:

      Looking at some profiles on an art site. One of these profiles has thirteen thousand people who are basically subscribed to it. Part of the page seems odd and the dominant layout colour is incorrect to what it should be in waking life, it's a deep blue in the dream.

      As I scroll down I find extra sections, like multiple featured text posts with commenting areas of their own. There's also some section labelled "high-profile banned/blacklisted users". I look through this section, which only has a dozen of usernames, and find that some usernames start similar to mine but mine isn't on the list, I feel some sort of relief?

      This person's profile has a lot of issues with spamming?

      Fragment:

      I'm in my old home, my room. I'm visiting. I am upset for some reason? And then there's some kind of hybrid species woman; she's part octopus and she's sad for some reason. Her mom is here too and has the same features, but her mom has a blue tinge and she has a pink-ish tinge.

      In any case, I try to comfort her, but she is resistant to any comfort I try to offer. I remember at one point we touch one another a bit, half sensually, half not, like a strange dance? I am curious about the tentacles and she lets me touch them. This implies some trust on her part, I feel.

      The suckers nip on my skin but much less harshly than I expected; I feel that she has control over this and has made it so as to not hurt me.

      Her mother says something about how she could just cut off her tentacles if she's that sad (comes across as half-serious/half-sarcastic) and that they'll grow back. Her mother warns her however, that it will take months to regrow them and that during sleep she'll be waking up to what feels like every five minutes and bleeding or something.

      I tell her that she should do no such thing. I feel the mother's suggestion was too serious and that it would cause so much more damage than good.



      Notes:

      - The last fragment feels strangely ironic considering how I am feeling right now about something.
      - The tentacles had ends that were more squid-like than octopus-like, come to think of it.
      - I think it's been a while now since I dreamt of any subways or trains. It had also been a while since I dreamt about a website, specifically an art one.
    13. cxcvi.

      by , 12-03-2020 at 11:03 PM
      2nd December 2020

      Fragment:

      Our street, mixed with a street back in L. Sunny. The L-side had shade from taller buildings. It was generally busy. Dad's mother was there under such a shade and looking at some kind of wall graffiti; I come to her and she sees me and looks surprised to see me, but she seems a bit lost or confused and I try to guide her somehow. I remember having some low level concern that people might think I'm not related at all and that I'm just trying to take advantage of her.

      Earlier in the dream, there was a gang of three hooligans or whatever coming up from down the end of our street but then I remember feeling/realising that they were likely just passing through.

      3rd December 2020

      Dream, fragmented:

      An early bit of the dream with an overview/interactive "map" of Wales and England; this so-called map was made of dirt and leaves, which I'm walking on.

      3D-like but nonetheless real, leaves were swirling around some locality markers in the West Midlands and near a central point in Wales. It looks like a tornado of leaves is persistently swirling around each one and they seem to overlap in their motions, creating some literal border friction in this sense. I talk with H. I ask in almost rhetoric manner why this can't be sorted out. It looks entirely simple from my point of view, I think.

      I use a stick, or something like and try to mark or uncover a border marker for where the Welsh/English border should actually be (as far as I know/can work out) and I manage to get the Welsh leaf tornado to be "sensible" and stick within its remit but the West Midlands tornado refuses to comply and be contained in any sense.

      The tornados seemed to represent local governmental authorities responsibilities for picking up recycling and other such waste.

      I remember just nearby there's a large tree with bulgy and bulky roots; relative to the map, it's situated just at the very North-most point of the border between Wales and England.

      Eventually, the dream moves on or I lose interest and I start looking at some junk nearby. The front of a diesel or electric train? Not sure, but then we were able to enter it from the side or something, and it's a really old house. It's dark and the daylight from outside has that cloudy day/blue tinge that I find characterises days with that weather. I think I'm still with H or another character. I have some special and unique item I traded earlier? I vaguely recall a chiselled stone, lapis lazuli, with a golden ring around some part of it; it has an oblong/obeliskish shape. (I begin to recall a much earlier bit?)

      I'm at an apartment. It's a single room and it's no bigger than my old room. There's a girl here, I have the impression I'm a girl too but I don't check in any way. This girl has a pony tail and a sharp face, she looks about 20 or so. I need something from her but she's unwilling to trade; I can't recall any of the dialogue.

      Eventually she walks up to the window and I kick her out; she falls several stories and I take the item somehow (was it in the flat?) and this item is one of nine or something which I need for my quest. In the flat, I notice she had some kind of modern CRT TV. For some reason, I give the screen a knock with my right hand knuckles and it resonates slightly.

      I am now downstairs immediately outside the apartment building. There's a crowd and police. I'm on the phone or something and this person I'm working with tells me to remain calm and that they've taken care of everything (male voice?). A big white man is out here and he distracts the crowd, shouting and announcing that he did it, he'd killed this girl. He has medium-length hair curls of a fair colour.

      I go through and past the crowd and there's some advanced cyber police of sorts. They have egg shaped hover drones, no bigger than a fist, and red scanners. They are doing forensic scans of everyone leaving the area and internally I feel concerned but I keep going and stop when asked to; they find nothing in their scan, to my relief. I continue through a street with tall buildings, it's night time, I feel? Deus Ex (classic) feel to the area here. I look at my phone and read debates about cannibalism, for some reason. One state in the USA had apparently had it as something legal for a very very long time (hundreds of years). I hear people nearby but don't look or pay attention to them.

      I reach a small building. It is modern but dilapidated; all the glass is missing or broken. It's dark outside and the odd part is I recall no sky at all. I go inside this building and go up a semi-spiralling staircase. It's brighter in the top floor. There's a curtain or something. (This dream memory starts to get mixed with the other one)

      I have traded all the unique and special items at some point, I don't recall with whom. Now, I have a dulled copper-y looking signet ring; I hold it in my palm and I also have a small bag made from untreated leather, of a tan colour. I open the bag and from inside I take out a live miniature Japanese racoon or something, which fits on my palm. It doesn't move much, but I hold it up to a white and bright fluffy ceiling; it yelps and sniffs as I move it around the room; I intuitively understand it's detecting something, to allow me passage from this otherwise dead-end octagonal room.

      Then, behind the curtain is a door. i can open it because of the signet ring, I think. I try to close it behind me as I hear voices nearing and think I shouldn't let them follow me.

      (the recall becomes too mixed)

      All else I remember is a view of some train with people I know being inside it, laser rifles shooting from inside and outside the train, at each other, as the train passes through a platform. It's night-time. I have vague recall of being somewhere, waiting, and some of my aunts and my mom are there; they are complaining between themselves for some reason and I remember something about a Nazi man visiting and demanding something.
    14. 17 Nov: I am Trump's daughter, robbing a train and fascist underground world

      by , 11-17-2020 at 04:31 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Turns out I am a lost daughter of Trump. Because of that, I am spending some time with his lunatic family and entourage. He has gone full bananas and now wears some hippy tunics and is all "peace on earth". He says he learned from me how to become more like a human being and loving animals and so on. Tells me a story about some horses he saw being mistreated and how he felt compassion for them and suddenly became a better person, but as always, he is just inflating his ego even more with the fake notion he now has empathy. I later tell this story to my group of friends and we laugh and laugh of his lack of notion.
      He later brings me 3 pairs of used shoes he got second hand somewhere, thinks I might like them and wants to impress me with his low waste, humble attitude. I do like the shoes, but then he also says if I am going to be part of his family and get my part of his inheritance, I need to go through a makeover and become more fancy. I wonder what inheritance, as he is broke and full of debts. He says more hilarious things that I share with my friends again, but they are too busy to keep paying attention to what I say. They are trying to get us inside a studio where some children show with karaoke singing is being taped. Since they can't get us officially in, we break in and literally mingle with the kids that are dancing in front of camera. No one seems to notice or care and they just keep taping. Then one of my friends joins a group of kids singing the opening music on and she messes up. That's when they decide to kick us out but she complains they had the notes all wrong and isn't her fault. They start getting pissed. But what takes them over the top is when I acidentally spill ans ashtray full of ashes over the director's snacks that are on a table.

      I'm going back home and a neighbor and friend of mine is kicking out her boyfriend from her house, who happens to be the son of a Mayor or something, so he has a bunch of heavily armed bodyguards all the time around him. She not only is throwing out all his clothes and stuff, but the most hilarious is how she also throws away the security dudes out of the window as if they are pieces of trash.

      Some friend of mine, who works on trains, finds out a secret hideout where they keep money during commutes. It is a cabinet somehow embedded in a wall behind the door mechanism. It is only acessible when train stops and the doors open, and to access it, one has to hve very slender arms. He somehow convinces me to steal the money so I try and reach the money, but then notice a camera pointed at that spot. I then see a chance to access it from as opposite (much harder) position, where only my arm will be on camera. I retrieve the money, it is a very nice pile of 20€ bills, žut I put it back, because if we steal it now and they go check the secutiry footage, they'll see my face. I tell my friend we have to do it some other time, on a different train and schedule, so when the money goes missing, they don't eventually identify us when checking older videos.

      At some event, I don't know what it i,s but aome of my friends and old colleagues from school are there. At the end of it, Melania Trump grabs a mic and starts singing a Whitney Houston song with an angel voice. Everybody gets up in ovation and even those who dislike her comment how amazing it is that she had this hidden talent. But I don't buy it. I clap unenthusiastically and I am sure there is some guy hiding and playing a recording. She is a liar all the way, she can only be scamming us all to buy some admiration. But I fail to prove it. When leaving this party I get stranded from my friends and end up watching a kid playing a videogame. It is about a fantasy world and characters are a couple amphibian elf-like beings who live in undergroung caves. They live away from humans, in caves filled with water, but they enconter a small group of humans also inhabiting an underground world that can only be acessed through an underground river, so they are very much isolated from the world. I become one of those elvish beings and start living the story in their own skin. We encounter these humans when we reach a cave that is semi empty of water and has a stairway carved in the rocks where we spot some humans. We engage with each other. They welcome us to their world, they show us their caves. We ask if they ever go outside and they show us an access they have to a greenhouse on the surface, that is inside what looks like a zoo. The greenhouse is inside an enclosure where aupposedly should be animals but there are none. The place also seems abandoned so they go there to see sunlight and some outdoor greenery but they never venture outside, and they avoid being seen by outside humans, I don't know why.
      Then I start understanding they are some kind of fascist group with some weird flags that look very similar to nazi flags and I meet their leader and realize they are hiding because the rest of humanity thinks they went extinct and doesn't know of their existence and hideout. I feel very uncomfortable and tell my partner we should go.

      I go back to the outside world and Donald Trump won election after recount with about 6000 votes. I say it is not possible as he was losing by 5 million, but networks are all confirming it and I say in despair that I want to get out of this horror alternative universe.
    15. 12 Nov: Family gatherings, tourism with friends and mafia kidnapping

      by , 11-12-2020 at 05:20 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Driving through the mountains at night, I see some rocks on fire. First I don't know what it is and then it occurs to me someone is trying to set the woods on fire. I go back to try to do something about it. I arrive at a crossroad I hadn't seen before and almost crash with a group of ladies walking from a nearby village. They are aware of the fire. They tell me it is some guy's revenge, trying to set fire to another guy's land. Fortunately the fire is put out by the villagers.

      Sleeping at my mom's, sharing her bed with a bunch of kids, who look like my cousins when they were young and also some toddlers I don't know.

      Have lunch with my grandpa. We bake tofu and potatos in the oven, enough for several meals or some more people, but granpda is eating like a hungry hippo and soon there is no food left. I get up to go to the kitchen to get something else, but somehow I end up at Axman's restaurant. He has friends over and he talks and talks. I get very sleepy sitting on his couch while I wait to get his attention. I decide to get out of there and catch some air. Find a bunch of kids from a school or after school activities, playing in a yard and I join them with curiosity for what they are doing. They are selecting toys to play and I fix a few toys and board games that had missing parts and defects. Then find a kid interested in a 3D chess kind of game and I suggest we play it. But it takes 4 people. I see 2 other older girls sitting and invite them over. I am supposed to find a table for us which to sit, but I have to walk a long walk until I find one, almost a block away, outside some kind of canteen or cafeteria. There are people in other tables discussing if people should get free housing and support if they have no money or if should be given money instead. A server comes with a large cake, asks if I want it. I say sure, but I need to go get 3 other friends to join me.

      At some foreign country, I think eastern Europe, with some friends. I go shopping with them at a supermarket. I didn't pick up a basket at the entrance, so I am putting on the cashier's counter the food I already picked while I am desperately looking for breakfast cereals. The cashier gets mad at me and pressures me to either pay or just take things out of there. I finally give up and pay what I bought. My friends then take me to some alternative collective where movies are being screened on some warehouse. They tell me it is a Portuguese expats association, all nice people and with a good cultural program. But we don't stay. Outside they talk with a couple guys sitting on chairs welcoming the movie goers. I spot an annex open and filled with bags of cat food. They explain they have a resident cat colony and show me where they feed them in a back alley. But I only see one cat there at the moment.

      I meet Riverstone on my way to the train station. We are kidnapped by some mafia guys and taken to a palace behind the train station, where they intend to torture and question us for some reason. But there is an earthquake or some other building just collapsed and we escape in the middle of the chaos. I am half naked as they ripped my clothes. We go through secondary alleys and we hide from people, until we finally get on the train and escape.

      My uncles and cousins are coming to my house, which is quite different from reality. It is also rustic but has smaller rooms, more floors and is stuck in some old town in Scotland. First to arrive are my cousins Joćo and Sara and I show them the kitchen and storage room, placed around an old furnace. My mom joins us then. She is excited, brings a dog and says there is another one just as cute and playful, but doesn't explain where they come from. Then my uncles also arrive and my mom goes away without a warning. I follow her, trying to figure where she is going and the rest of the family follows suit. She was just going to a pub nearby to get some fancy liquors to serve to the family members, but now we are all there with her, so we decide to just get some drinks right there. A police officer that was at the door warns us we are too many and not wearing masks and therefore we are breaking the rules. I get a mask from my pocket and I suggest my family they do it to, but nobody cares. I then spot a group of people I know, all dressed up like in the 20s. They are sitting in some sofas by a large window with an iron frame. Outside is snowing, looks postcard perfect and I join them. Realize that I don't match their outfits, as I am in my large boots and sweater. But they actually save the center seat for me and welcome me.
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